Finding Your Family

"--But if you do that, they'll take on the form of a stratocumulus, and you need a bunch of those to do anything worthwhile. Great for emergencies, when you need to remove a cloud from formation right away, but try to stay away from doing that unless the plan is to create a lot of cloud cover."

Scootaloo nodded. She was taking a lesson from Rumble on weather control so that when it came time to apply for a weather licence, she'd pass more easily.

"So, any questions?"

"Just one. What if the resulting stratocumulus is too heavy and dense, and falls down lower?"

"I just use my tail to whip it back into a less dense, lighter, fluffier froth." To show how, he turned around and whipped the air over her living room rug. "Just like that."

"Ah thought y'all said no strippers?"

Scootaloo and Rumble turned to the archway to see Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle standing there, having let themselves in. Rumble blushed and turned away, pushing his books into a small pile. "I should go..."

"Nice tail strike, by the way," added Rainbow Dash, popping into the room and fitting Scootaloo with a tiara and scepter. "Were you showing her how to turn a cumulostratus into an altostratus?"

Rumble nodded sheepishly.

"Well, we're kidnapping her. Watch the kids until her aunts arrive, would ya? They should be here in a few minutes."

Rumble nodded and saluted. "They'll be safe in my hooves, ma'am."

Scootaloo was escorted out the door and into a stretched carriage that already had loud music playing inside before she even stepped into it.

"Party dragon's in tha house!" shouted Pinkie as the door closed. "Whole carriage is waterproofed and insured, so don't be shy about using this!" She placed in Scootaloo's claws a very large pump-action water cannon, made to resemble a stallion's cock and balls. "It's filled with champagne!"

"Not the good stuff, though," said Rarity. "I've stored that away and reserved it for the wedding."

Rarity was definitely the strangest-looking pony there, wearing a protective suit to prevent her from being spilled on or sprayed. All but her face was covered, which would allow her to drink without finding any alcohol in her mane.

"Alright, girls, let's start the pregame!" shouted Rainbow, pouring all six of them a shot of bourbon. "It's going to be a good ten minutes before we arrive in Whinnyapolis, so--"

Sweetie Belle interrupted her with a shot from a medium-sized squirt gun. "Less talk, more shot!"

Everyone grabbed a glass and swallowed it down. The dragon lands were not a dry state; you could legally drink alcohol there, and very little would come of it. There wasn't even an age limit on it. But no one ever drank it. Scootaloo had learned early on that the fire in their guts prevented them from drawing on the effects, as it would all burn off rather quickly inside of them. So it was no surprise to her that she was less effected by the single shot as everypony else was.

"Let's have another round!" called Rainbow, pouring another shot.

Then came a third, and then a fourth, and then a fifth before everypony except Scootaloo was sufficiently buzzed. "So, what's the plan here?" asked Scootaloo, almost entirely lucid.

Rainbow shook her head. "No, no, no... You'll have to wait until we pull up to find out."

"Fine by me," shrugged Scootaloo. "I just thought you might want to play a guessing game."

"OOH! Let's play a guessing game!" shouted Pinkie. "I'll go first! I'm thinking of a stallion--"

"Cheese Sandwich," answered Rainbow and Rarity at the same time.

"Right! Who's next?"

"I shall go," volunteered Rarity. "I'm thinking of a colour."

"Is it white?" asked Pinkie.

"Close."

"Yellow," said Rainbow.

"Light pink?" guessed Pinkie.

"Snow!" shouted Sweetie.

"Snow ain't a colour!" scolded Apple Bloom.

"Snow is close," answered Rarity.

"Alabaster."

"Eggshell."

"Linen?"

"Cotton?"

"Lace?"

"Porcelain!"

"Y'all are just makin' things up at this point..."

"Chiffon?" guessed Sweetie Belle.

"Chiffon is correct," confirmed Rarity.

"I'll go," called Scootaloo. "I'm thinking of a place."

Rainbow snorted. "You're going to try to draw a hint out of me as to where we're going, aren't ya?"

Scootaloo waved her claw. "No..." She had been trying to do that, and was hoping that Rainbow was tipsy enough to not notice.

"Is it the park bench past the main fountain on the east side of Willow Park, just under the maple tree where you kissed Spike for the first time?" asked Pinkie.

Scootaloo's jaw dropped. "How'd you know that?"

"Spike told me where it was!" giggled Pinkie. "Twilight wanted to commemorate it as a town landmark, but after being vandalized a few times, she gave Spike the plaque she'd made and said she would put it up again when interspecies relationships were less frowned on!"

"Hey!" interjected Rainbow. "Are we here to frown about the fact that some arseholes can't stomach the idea of other ponies having fun with species that aren't their own, or are we here to party?"

"Party!!! WOOO!!!" Pinkie pumped her Super Soaker, spaying everyone in the carriage with champagne as it began to slow down.

Rainbow poked her head out of the carriage sunroof. "We're almost there. I can see the sign now." She pulled her head back in and poured a new round of shots. "Last call before we go in. Ground rules: Stay with the group, observe all safety procedures, and on my whistle, everypony returns to the carriage. Clear?"

Everyone nodded.

"Good. Cheers."

As they all gulped down their last shot, the carriage came to a halt, and one of the drivers came back to open the door for them, offering them each a towel as they stepped out to dry themselves before walking into their first stop. Scootaloo couldn't believe what the sign said.

"Kiss my Axe?"

"Yeah," laughed Rainbow. "It's a lumberjack pub. They also have something special in the back."

Scootaloo sighed. "Please tell me it's not a stripper pole..."

"Why don't you head to the back and find out?"

With a shrug, Scootaloo went in, leaving the collection of squirt guns in the carriage. As she walked past the bouncer, he gave each of them a bracelet that would identify them throughout their journey, something Pinkie had set up with each establishment they'd be going to. All they had to do was flash their bracelet at the bar, and they'd be entitled to a set amount, prepaid by Pinkie, as well as a variable line of credit that Pinkie would be charged for later. This would simultaneously put them over the minimums and keep them from drinking too much.

All the way at the back, however, was a large room with a bunch of wooden targets on one wall, and a bunch of tomahawks by the other. "No fuckin' way..." gasped Scootaloo.

"You think I'd let ya have a boring party?" snorted Rainbow. "Give me a little bit of credit, Squirt..."