"Run for your life!"

"Somepony save my foal!"

"Screw our kid! There's a demon sent to punish us for... something, something evil!"

Ponies were panicking like I was some hellspawn. Sure, I looked intimidating, but not abandon-your-child-to-save-yourself intimidating! I considered bolting before they started throwing rocks, but I had a more pressing issue: where the hell was I?

Option one: Current timeline, show’s still running. Easy. Just dodge the main characters and I'm good. Worst-case, I leave and start fresh somewhere.

Option two: Past, and I’m about to get blasted by Celestia and Luna for no reason. Maybe I’ll even inspire Nightmare Moon! If that happens, I’ll start practicing stone-pose ideas for when they freeze me into a lawn ornament. Lucky me.

"Still running, huh?" I muttered, watching them scramble in circles, too dumb to realize they were going nowhere. Funny, if it weren’t so tragic. And they’ll probably run straight to the princesses for help. Unless…

"Hey, shadow buddy! Got anything to calm them down?" I called out, and a blob of darkness swelled up around the ponies, trapping them in a shrinking dome.

"Oh, crap! I mean, no harm! No harm!" I panicked, waving my hand. A pair of glowing white eyes blinked back at me from the dome, giving me the most deadpan stare ever. Classic.

"Alright, alright, I’ll fix it," I muttered. With a wave of my hand, I summoned a cold chill, letting dark magic flood my fingers. The ponies collapsed, unconscious, like a row of sleepy dominoes.

I couldn’t help but smirk. Ah, magic. The ultimate cheat code in the chaos of life.

"Remember, keep it local. We don’t need a big scene, my trusty shadow," I said with a smirk.

With that, I strolled toward the shopping district, while the shadows slinked off to cause some minor chaos. The town won’t know what hit it—literally.

High above Timberlake, a white-coated pegasus with a green mane gawked at the chaos below.

"Definitely inhaled too much cloud vapor," he muttered, about to go back to his personal misty indulgence, when two shadowy figures caught his eye.

One twisted like a spring, while the other hopped on top, bouncing higher and higher until they reached a rogue cloud. Then, that cloud puked a bolt of dark energy right at him. Rinse and repeat, each time getting closer.

"What the hell? Am I tripping or is this a circus act from Hell?" he yelped, heart hammering.

Before he could bolt, a dark energy blast hit him square in the chest, sending him spiraling into a fast, unintentional nosedive.

With a sickening crunch, he crashed to the ground. Silence hung in the air as he weakly tried to call for help, but his body, now as numb as a frozen fish, had other plans.

I yanked the map from the void swallowing my body and eyed the speck of land known as Equestria. Well, at least I had a rough idea of where I was now.

Maybe the other species here won’t flip out like the ponies. That’s usually how these things go, right? Ponies lose their minds, and the other creatures are chill.

A glance at a nearby shop window revealed a human version of the Pony of Shadows. Great naming, guys. Just throw some demonic horns in there for that extra “edge.” Classic.

Also, discovered something fun: I can feed off fear. So, I could jump-scare a pony for a quick meal or energy boost. Tempting, really, but I figured the fear from earlier would hold me over for now. Maybe I’ll skip the Dragon Lands—they’re magic-resistant. Zebras are all cryptic and mysterious, and Griffons? Basically obnoxious, magic-less ponies. Minotaur Lands, though? Buff me up, baby.

I tried flexing but ended up looking like a poorly drawn stick figure. Meh. Anyway, Equestria’s probably the best bet for some dimensional travel magic or a spellbook. "Oh, right. The Pony of Shadows had some evil lair or something, didn’t he? Hey, shadow buddy, know where that is?"

...

"Yeah, right, he's too busy spell-casting to notice me. Guess I’ll hit a library or bookstore. Who knows what weird magic I can dig up—or find something to remove this creepy shadow curse. Oh! Or, what if there's a plant that—wait. Does that exist? A plant that makes your you-know-what fall off?!"

With that horrifying thought in my head, I bolted for the nearest bookstore. Desperate times, desperate measures.

"Uh, Boss, how’d dis Pegasus end up like dis?" the small Diamond Dog asked, poking the lifeless pony with a stick. Each jab sent dark sparks flying, making him flinch. "And what’s with the sparkin’?"

Bill, the massive Diamond Dog, stared at the crater where the pony had crashed. The pony’s neck was twisted at an angle that screamed bad fall, but Pegasi had magic to cushion their landings.

"I dunno, but somethin’s off," Bill muttered, looking around. "Dis place ain’t right. We need to tell the guards."

Puck raised an eyebrow. "Why bother? They’ll blame us, like always."

Bill grunted. "’Cause whatever did this ain't stoppin' here. It’s comin’ for us next, I can feel it. Our den’s too close."

With a sigh, Bill turned. "Let’s go. Ain’t nobody safe 'round here."

The two dogs trotted off, leaving the twitching Pegasus behind.

Good news: most things won’t mess with your junk. Bad news: I’m stuck in post-Sombra, pre-Nightmare Moon Equestria. Great. After Luna’s meltdown, it should be smooth sailing, right? Nothing interesting happens for the next thousand years. By the time that rolls around, I’ll be long gone.

Kicking back in my chair, I waited for the inevitable. Maybe Sombra left behind some dark magic? My shadow buddy could gobble it up and get a power boost. Fun, right?

But as I relaxed, something felt... off. The room seemed darker than usual. What time was it, anyway? Early afternoon?

I glanced at the window, only to see the sun sinking fast. My eyes nearly shot out of my skull as I bolted upright.

"Hold up! Why the hell am I still here? I’ve got everything I need. Unless… nah, I’m just overthinking this. Time to bounce. Hey, buddy, get your ass over here!" I barked, shoving books and random useful crap into my bag.

Within minutes, I’d gathered everything and was headed toward the town square, our arrival point.

Ponies were still passed out, waiting for the spell to wear off. I should probably lift that at some point. "Buddy, you done yet?"

"Hiss."

"I'll take that as a yes." Shadow wisps snaked through the town, gathering at our exit point.

A weird, ominous feeling crept over me. It wasn’t my own paranoia. Someone was watching. The Night Princess? Nah, she’s too busy with her ego to lurk in the shadows. Her sister? Nope, she loves a good entrance. The guards?

I zeroed in on a flicker of movement in the alley. A small, stealthy figure, lurking like a pro. Whoever it was was connected to the princess. Probably a guard, but this felt... off. The shadows around them weren’t normal, like some dark, suffocating barrier.

The sun dipped below the horizon, and as the moon took its place, everything turned sinister. The shadows stretched long, hiding whatever secrets were left. This night was about to get a lot weirder.

Author's Note

Hey, TrashManic here, and I've finally taken a swing at the whole "human in an alternative Equestria" thing. I've always liked alternative Equestria and villainous humans, mainly because of the vast exploration and world-building opportunities they present. So, I decided to throw my hat into the ring. Anyway, I hope you all enjoy the story so far, and if not, please let me know why. I'm pretty new at this, so I expect there to be a few problems.

Edit:
Robert

Bill and Puck