Hell Hath No Fury on A Father Misplaced

"Uh, Twighlight? That doesn't look like any human I've seen" says the small dragon "discretely" into the mare's ear. They have my shoe and they at least know what a human is. They seem like my best chance at answers.

"Oh sweet Celestia. This shouldn't be possible, it isn't possible..." The princess has a both haunted and fascinated look as she sizes me up and down.

Ocellus adopts a smug expression while puffing out her chest. "Headmare Twighlight, this is David Sanderman and he's a-"

"Human..." Twighlight finishes her sentence without a beat, her expression unchanging. That seemed to take the wind out of the changeling's sails, her face resembling more "dumbfounded".

Years of training to control a short fuse led me to this moment. Reaching over and grabbing my pistol, I stand from the couch. Twighlight's eyes shrink to pinpricks as I rise to my full height. In my peripheral, I see the curious and innocent eyes of five teenagers. Better make this private, but how to keep the kids occupied... I look to my bag and come up with an idea that douses the flames of anger in an instant. I give a quick glance to her, to let her know that I am still (very much) aware of her presence, before reaching down and retrieving my laptop.

I remain crouched and beckon the young group closer to whisper. "Want to see one of my favorite... stories from my world?" Showing them all the things my laptop is capable of could (damn near) turn into my life. However, watching one of the greatest trilogies ever made will bide me time to get some answers. They agree to this without hesitation. Pulling up my downloaded file of the "Back to the Future" trilogy, I lay down the ground rules. "Alright, but only under a few conditions". They seem skeptical, but still nod their heads in agreement. "The first is that you hold all questions about what this is and what you are about to see until you at least finish the first part. The second is that you treat this very delicately. I can't fix this if it breaks. Can you promise me that?"

"Cross my heart, hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye-ow!" All five of them repeated the phrase in unison. Similarly, they crossed their chests before pressing a hoof/claw against their eye. Oh, it's like an oath. However, in her excitement for more knowledge, Ocellus seemed to of rammed her hoof into her... well ocellus. That gave her a slight blush while her friends chuckled at her antics. Even I couldn't help but smile at that and decided to give her ears a little scratch. Just like with Silverstream, she absolutely loved the affection and leaned into my touch. Even though they're sentient, they still act a lot like animals. Interesting.

"Alright so, to pause you hit-" I go on to show them the various controls for the movie like volume, rewind, etc... "Now because the keys are so small, it would best if only the two of you with claws could handle this." As soon as I said this, Ocellus erupted in spiraling blue flames that matched her body color.

"Shit!" Thinking it was some kind of explosion, I immediately drop to the ground and cover my neck. I wait to feel the heat, the shrapnel, the sound, the screams,... but, it never came.

"Hehe, probably should of warned you about that" The nervous sounding Ocellus explains. It could have been the fear or the fact that I'm on the floor, but it sounded as though her voice was coming from a higher elevation. My hatred for my predicament returned with full force. Spontaneous combustion. Completely normal thing to happen to someone. FUCK THIS GODAMN PLANET!!! Angry as I was at the world, I also felt the anger a parent feels for their child if they do something dangerous. The anger for making them worry so much. I genuinely didn't know if my mind could take watching one of the kids explode. It definitely would have been the thing to tip me over the edge into actual insanity.

But then I remembered that a being that could change appearances in a world full of magic was speaking to me. I look up to a sight that I had no right being surprised about. "Ocellus?". Before me, stood yet another female dragon. Even excluding the horns, she easily stood at 5 ft. tall, making her the second tallest in the room. Her primary scales were a "Tacha" brown (very similar to coffee with cream), while her underbelly/underwings/snout were "Corn Field" yellow. Unlike Smolder, this dragon seemed to have actual hair and not just head spines. It was a "Raw Sienna" orange and long enough for her to curl around her claw while below her snout in a shy manner. Said snout was more angular than Smolder's, with her nose having a pronounced horn that pointed upwards. Her tail spine was longer and two-toned, a wave pattern separated the colors. "Luxor Gold" brown made up the top half while the bottom matched her surface scales. The horns were located towards the back of her head and slightly on top. They spiraled upwards before pointing right behind her in a sort of "boomerang" shape. Oddly enough, they were colored how you would expect a pair of horns to look like on an ordinary animal like a ram or bull ("Verdigris" brown). Additionally, she had a pair of ears that somewhat resembled an equines, however, they angled downwards and were exceptionally longer. The eyes, while still freakishly large, were more of a semicircle than the perfectly round eyes of the rest of the beings. This proved to give her a greater sense of femininity which was a stark contrast to her pointed jaw line. Much more akin to the predator she represents, her pupils were very small. They were colored in hue's of amber/orange's. Held against her chest, was my laptop. Must of dropped it when I thought I was about to die. "...Nice catch."

"I made sure to treat it very delicately like you said. Can we go watch the story now?" She was on the verge of exploding with anticipation, a trait shared by her friends who were still looking on in wonder at the device that rivaled anything that they thought was possible.

The only thing I could do was laugh, "Ha! Alright I won't keep you. Oh! Before I forget, when you start to see a bunch of dials, make sure the volume isn't too loud." I have no idea if they heard me or not. The only response I got was the sound of a door being slammed shut from the second floor.

I dusted myself off and pocketed my pistol properly. "Heh, kids" I smile while shaking my head. Childhood wonder is universal I guess.

The sound of hysteric muttering and frantic scritching, has become more apparent now that room is short five energetic teens. Looking towards the source shows something that only furthers my annoyance. The unidentified breed of pony hasn't exactly been doing nothing while I was busy.

In the span of the not even 10 minutes she had been here, this one apparently called Twighlight has made herself a literal fortress of journals that only continues to grow taller. Before, she was only levitating my shoe. Now, a variety of note taking equipment orbits her in her own little solar system. Where Ocellus was able to amaze me by writing a single letter, Twilight ups the anny by doing it tenfold... literally. Hold's a very high level of multitask/concentration abilities, noted.

However impressive her brain power might be, I immediately noticed a down side to it. It seemed that in order to achieve what she was doing, she needed to tune out the rest of the world. Her eyes would not so much as flinch from the movement I nor her dragon companion made. Likewise, the same outcome came in regards to sound and her ears.

I didn't exactly find it "welcoming" to not be acknowledged and instead treated as the center of an examination.

Perspective change: 3rd person

Twilight Sparkle could hardly contain herself. A limitless amount of knowledge and research potential was right at her hooves and she barley scratched the surface. Not only did a human somehow manage to enter their world, but they also managed to bring with them their glorious technology. The same technology that she only briefly had interactions with and did not get the chance to further study during her short ventures through the mirror portal. Additionally, this one looked nothing like the ones she had encountered. While certainly not what she was expecting from her tests, she wasn't going to pass up the chance to-

Spike, who at the this point was trying to survive the flood of papers, was the first to notice the drastic change in the rooms atmosphere from the chill that ran up his spine. Glancing to center of the room, caused the drake to nearly wet himself. "Twa-twa-twa-twi?" he stuttered through shaking body. Poking the mare next to him at as fast a rate that his shaky claw would allow.

-Future generations would always "ow" remember her name "ow" as the mare who led Equestria, "OW" no, Equis into a bright new age! "OW! FOR BUCK'S SAKE SPIKE WH-GAHHH!" Just like that, the whirlwind of magic that had been circling the pony, came to an abrupt stop. The items that had been floating were sent sailing in whatever direction their momentum carried them. Twilight, meanwhile was left clutching her head from the intense headache that rattled her skull. It was as if her magic was forced to stop. When the pain subsided enough for her to open her eyes, she was left staring at pair of legs. Which traveled up to a torso. From that torso an arm was holding on to the shoe she had brought. On the shoulder of that arm sat...

{Brief background music (play until 0:28)}

...Rage.

Perspective change: 1rst person

I bend over so that our eyes are level. My focus never wavers from her and her me. I hold the shoe right in her face and speak. "Where did you get this and how do you know about humans?" My tone implies that I want answers and I want them now. Despite this, she decides to play the introduction game.

With a shake of her head and the mask of a politician, "Greetings, my name is Twilight Sparkle, princess of-"

"I don't care who or what you are" That really took the wind out of her sails. "Answer the questions".

This seemed to get a rise out of the dragon more than anything. "Hey! No one talks to Twilight like that!" He took a defensive stance between me and the pony. His tiny wings were outstretched and his chest was puffed. Judging by his shorter stature and squeaky voice, I figured that he likely was more adolescent than even Smolder. I had to admit, the little guy had some stones to challenge me like that. I admired that. I really did. But at the same time, he also had mentioned humans.

I look down at him, "Watch your tongue boy". He shakes like a leaf, but doesn't back down.

"Spike? Why don't you go check on the students? Ocellus mentioned a lot happened last night."

Reluctantly, this one named Spike, takes off for the same room the others left for. Which, leaves me with the being of my interest... who somehow has another set of notes ready to be taken down. My anger was temporarily subdued from astonishment at the sheer gall of this bitch.

"Seriously? I'm right fucking here!" She jumps a little at my outburst and at least has the decency to seem embarrassed.

In this moment of subdued rage, something Ocellus had mentioned earlier comes to mind. PRINCESS Twilight... awe hell Having an entire kingdom after me was the last thing I needed. "*Sigh* I would greatly appreciate it if you could tell me what you know. I am very lost and very confused; I just want to go home". It was subtle, but I swore she flinched when I mentioned 'home'.

"Yes, I suppose that's only rational to want answers in your position." Silently, we make our way towards the couch. I retake my position while she grabs a throw pillow to sit on in front of me. "*Ahem* When my assistant mentioned humans earlier, he stated that you didn't really resemble any he had seen before and I'm inclined to agree with him."

"In what what way exactly? How, when, and where did you encounter humans?" I hunched over, putting my elbows on my knees. This put us more at eye level.

"Well there was this mirror and *ugh* it's a long story"

"Just give me the spark notes then"

"*sigh* Shortly after I ascended, my crown was stolen by... wait, I never said my last name" She's acting like I'm the one who is being interrogated now?

"How is that relevant?"

"Because! How could you have possibly known it then!?"

"What are you talking about?" I ask almost pleadingly while massaging my returning migraine.

"You said to give you the spark notes!"

I put two and two together, "Oh, Spark is related to your name, I see. No, spark notes is just a way of saying 'give me a brief summary' of something"

"Well,... it's Sparkle, but that was still an odd coincidence"

"Your story...?' Hand, meet head.

"Right, sorry. Shortly after I ascended to being a princess, my crown was stolen by one of my mentors former students. She had disappeared a few years prior and was never heard from since. I followed her through an old mirror in the castle and the next thing I know I'm turned into a human and I'm in an entirely different universe!"

"Wait, you mean to tell me that not only have you proven the Infinite Universe Theory, you actually CROSSED over to another one safely?!" Eat your heart out Neil Degrasse Tyson.

"Is that what your kind call it? We called it the Pondara Dimension Theory"

"So... if I'm following correctly, I'm not actually on a different planet, just in a different universe?"

"Essentially, yes"

"And the differences you mentioned?"

"Well the most relevant differences would be the dimensions of the head and eyes. The eyes actually were the same as a pony's when it came to their size, shape, and color. Yours are smaller and seem more... predatory in nature" she states with a slight grimace.

"I'll take that as a compliment for my species. That dragon that was with you, he went in as well?"

"Spike? Yes, although he turned into a dog on the other side"

"Ok, that answers how you two both know about humans. *sigh*" I slouch over more to look at the ground, "Sorry about being so rude to the both of you earlier. It's just that you were the only ones that knew about em so I kinda just assumed that you... I don't know, abducted me or something."

"..." Her silence unease's me and I glance upwards.

Ears splayed backwards, fidgeting hooves/wings, and eyes looking anywhere but towards myself.

"Oh my God"

"It was an accident!"

"HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY KIDNAP SOMEONE!?!?!" I quickly glance at the room with the kids in it, before returning my glare.

"This shouldn't of happened! The magic in your body should've prevented the spell from grabbing anything attached to you!"

"...I...what?"

"The spell I used to gather samples was supposed to scan for life forms within a hundred hooves, using their naturally produced magical signature, before taking the samples. That was supposed to prevent this situation from happening"

"Magic" doesn't exist where I'm from"

"Pfft, right, that's what the last humans said. Ahhh so naïve. You do have magic it just remains dormant in your body's due to generations of not being used"

"Oh? Prove it." I cross my arms with an unamused face.

She rolls her eyes. "Fine, I'll just change your magical aura so that it can be seen" Her horn lights up briefly before fizzling out shortly after. She looks up curiously before concentrating harder, only to get the same result. This continues a few more times until she is left panting on the floor.

I look down at her, "I'm waiting."

She looks up at me like I'm her science experiment again. Well I guess I technically am to her aren't I? She then gets up and starts trying to drag me off the couch with her hooves. "I got to get you to my lab, we have to run tests, I need to document-"

"What you need to do is let go of me" I say grabbing her hooves firmly, "Then you need to send me back home"

"Back? You break all known laws of magic! I HAVE to study you!"

"*Long inhale* Look, I'm trying to be civil and patient since you're royalty of a nation and my only way back, but let me be perfectly clear" I bring her close to me "I'm not asking. I will be going home to, at the very least, let my family know that I'm safe. Especially considering the fact that I just vanished out of thin air!" Her horn starts to light and just like last time it fizzles out. Which only makes her freak out more. "Now I'm not opposed to answering SOME questions AFTER I talk with my wife. I can respect the hunger to figure out the unknown, I wouldn't be human if I didn't. Does that work?" Her head nods rapidly. "Great, send me back" I let go of her hooves and she immediately vanishes before reappearing ten feet away from me.

"Right... back. No problem, I'll just use the same frequency, reverse the polarity and..." Her horn lights up and the tension in my body starts to leave me at the thought of finally- "*Thunk*" A rock. There is now a small rock between the two of us.

"...Is something supposed to happen?"

"Um, hold on let me try... *Plap*" Now there is a small pile of purple mud on top of the rock.

"You do know how to send me back, right?"

"Well, I've never had to before."

"But you can right?"

"Of course! It can't be that hard. *Poof*" Floating in front of her is a dusty tomb covered in chains. There is a padlock on the cover that looks as though its bar was blown clean off. "I'm sure Starswirl thought uuuuuuuuhhhf..." she trails off upon flipping to a particular page. Her eyes dart all over this page several times, as if hoping that she misread something.

I'm about to question her when she gets saved by the bell.

"That. Was. AWESOME!" With the tension being as thick as it was, I (quite literally) jumped out of my seat at the voice of the energetic dragon. Similarly, Twilight also freaked out by magic-tossing the book in the air before trying to grab at it with her hooves.

Time sure does fly when your repressing existential dread. A glance at my watch does show that an hour an a half has passed.

"When that lightning hit the tower!"

"Or when George punched Biff in the face!" The older dragon and griffon were easily the most animated out of the group when it came to describing their take on the movie.

Well aside from the obvious...

"How much of that was real? Can you travel through time? What were those self propelled carriages? How did that device-"

"Do all of you expect me to answer these questions as fast as you ask them?" That silences the nerd bug. "Technically, we have the technology to speed objects up to the point where they experience time distortion and thus are brought to the future" I make sure to emphasize my air quotes heavily. "As far as traveling to the past goes, we haven't discredited the possibility. However, we can't feasibly design a method that wouldn't break our known laws of science. In short, most of that movie is simply science fiction."

...(silence)

"And I thought you were the only one who could do that." Spike says to Twilight with an eye roll. After that ice breaker, both bug and pony return to documenting, while the rest go back to discussing the movie.

This leaves me time to get my thoughts in order. Alright, let's go over what happened. I "accidentally" get kidnapped by a princess from a different dimension that is inhabited by mythical fairytale creatures who are sentient and have magic. Shortly after arriving in the middle of a forest; I find a river, save five teenagers (who are also not human), trudge through said forest until I reach their giant crystalized tree house, and promptly pass out. I wake up, freak out, realize I haven't gone insane, almost rip the head off of said princess, and finally get the synopsis straight from the horse's mouth. Speaking of...

"Hey *clap, clap* stay with me here purple. You were about to send me back?"

"Huh, wha-Oh! Right, back... I... don't have the ingredients! Right! The number of materials required to open inter-dimensional wormholes is quite extensive after all."

"Ok well you're like the daughter of the rulers of this place right? So it shouldn't take that long for you to get everything you need right?"

"Uh right I'll just go and get those while you... Hey! Why don't you six show David here around town?"

"Around town? Just how long-"

"*Gasp* That's a great idea! Hey David, want to grab lunch? Our treat!" asked Silver.

I'm about to retort, when the sound of a few all nighters subsisting on nothing but coffee and granola bars makes itself known... via the sound of my stomach imitating bears in heat. "...If its not too much trouble..." What is this? A sitcom?

They laughed good-naturedly, but while they did so, Twilight whispered something in Smolder's ear. She responds by nodding, before the princess grabs her assistant and flashes out of the room. I immediately walk up to her. "Well? How long did she say it will take?" It's hard to keep the desperation out of my voice.

"She didn't. Just said that she'll keep me posted on her progress" she says shrugging.

"*sigh* That's reassuring" I mumble.

"Aye, think of it this way" says the blue bird "worrying about it won't help anything, right? So you might as well just let your new friends treat you to a good time on the town" he emphasizes by leaning back on his hind legs and throwing an arm around my shoulder. For a bunch of teens who almost died, they sure have a positive outlook on life

"Heh, we're friends now huh?"

"I mean yeah, you seem like a chill dude"

"Yona like David"

"You're fascinating!"

"You're so nice"

"You're pretty cool"

"...Just like that? We met like yesterday. We're practically still strangers to each other."

"So? A stranger is just a friend you haven't made yet" says the pink bird with her friends nodding in agreement.

"Alright, so where are we going-WOAH!" How I didn't manage to notice a yak sneak up behind me (much less put its head between my legs) still alludes me to this day.

"Yona tired of waiting. Yona need food NOW!" Alright I'm riding a yak now... oh! Hello door fra- *Thunk*

"ow" Bent over backwards on a yaks hump while it trots through a forrest, 0/10 stars would not recommend. From my new vantage I'm greeted with the sight of a few wincing faces and quick intakes of air through clenched teeth. Silver's (upside down) concerned look is the first to keep pace with the bovine butt.

"Are you alright?"

*Inhale* *Exhale* "Juuuuuust peachy"