My sleep is restless, but deep. I toss and turn in my moments before wake. A vain attempt to be reacquainted with the sandman. I didn't exactly have nightmares, however, I couldn't shake off an odd sense of dread that seemed to taunt my mind. My muscles feel like I just went backpacking in the mountains. To top it off? The sun decides that my face is the perfect place to shine. "Mph, close the blinds"

"Oh! Sorry about that, we still haven't decided on a color yet."

"*Yawn* That's fine, I'll... just..." The fatigue of my body is no longer the forefront of my mind. I blink once... twice... a few times... I still see the same thing. Bug... horse?

"Buuuuut, since you are awaaaake, we can share those questions you mentioned yesterday!" She jumps up in the air and hovers with her insect-like wings. She clops her front hooves hooves together and lets out a gleeful "EEEE". "This is so exiting! I can't wa-"

I hear nothing.

I feel nothing.

Last night's supposed dream flashes through my mind. From waking up in the middle of nowhere, to spooning a hippogriff. I look down. Sure enough, it-she is still curled up, lightly snoozing. A quick tug at my arm hair tells me everything I need to know. I'm not dreaming.

I felt that.

I hear "-incess Twighlight will be all like "Ocellus you truly are my most gifted student. Will you please be my personal protégé?" and I'll be all like "Oh most certainly your maj-" Hey, are you alright?" Her weirdly expressive face shows confusion, which gives way to concern.

I give no verbal response. Instead I choose to go for a slow nod while not taking my eyes off of the creature before me. With the stealth of a thief, I get off the couch (somehow not waking its other occupant) and begin to backpedal to a door I notice in my peripheral.

"Are you sure? Cause you taste like-" Taste!?!?!?!?!

"AAAAAHHHH!!!!*SLAM*" I made it to the room. Panic time! Panicking sounds really good right about now!!! "No no no no no that was a dream! They don't exist they don't exist they-"

"*Yawn* What's with all the noise? Also, where's Dahvid?", asks Silverstream.

"He locked himself in the bathroom. He seemed really scared for some reason."

"-exist they don't... bathroom? But that would mean..." There, hanging over the oddly low shower rod, sits my soaked clothing. Oh, I just completely lost my marbles... neat. "I'm not crazy, I'm not crazy, I'm n-" During my (totally not crazy) ramblings, more of the creatures entered the living room.

"What the hay could scare Dudevid?" I hear from Sandbar. Is that meant to be a nickname or something? "The only things here are the treehouse and us."

"Well it can't be the treehouse cause it hasn't changed from last night" Smolder pauses for a short while. "Yup, still looks delicious." wat? "Are you sure one of you guys didn't do something to freak Deevod out? ...What the hell makes it so hard to say my name?

"Yona not see Doevoe today. Oh, come on!

Gallus is the next to speak. "Look, I don't know if you guys noticed, but that manticore wasn't sleeping when we got out from those roots. Are you positive that it was fear that Deeveed was-"

"Oh for the the love of! DAYVID!!! DAY-VID!!! It's not that- Gah! What am I talking to you for anyways?!? You're just a figment of my imagination!!! Where was I? Oh yeah. "I'm not crazy, I'm not-" From the other side of the door, a tense silence dragged on.

Ocellus moved up to the door and was the first to break said silence. "Figment of your imagination? Wait....David"Bout' time. "Do you think we're not real?"

"Can't hear you over the sound of you not existing!"...Did I really just say that?... Ah, who am I kidding? I'm in denial and I know it. "Look just... gimmie a sec..." I close my eyes and focus on steadying my breathing. Lets skip the other stages and get straight to 'acceptance', why don't we?... Wait, what am I grieving exactly... my sanity? Eh, fuck it. I'm not debating semantics. An old habit of mine is to talk to myself whenever I'm stressed out. That side of me hasn't reared it's ugly head in years.

However, the method of my madness still works and I'm able to analyze the bathroom I reside in. There was nothing really noteworthy about it; apart from everything being smaller, the room looked fairly spartan... and crystal. From the walls, to the sink, to the toilet, everything was made out of the same blue/purple crystalized surface. Upon an even closer examination, I notice a lack of electrical sockets or modern ventilation. A single rounded, window appeared to be the only source of airflow that one could control. Speaking of control, there weren't any light switches, and/or light bulbs that connected to said light switches. Instead, there were small diamond shaped crystals that hung from (unfathomably) thin crystal rods. They emitted very faint hues of light that illuminated the space they occupied. The colors ranged from light blues, to greens, and even the standard yellow color you expect out of a light. I'm beginning to see a pattern here.

The shaky voice of Silverstream began to emit from the doo. "W-we're really sorry about mispronouncing your name David. We didn't mean to offend you. P-please don't be mad at us." God, I'm an ass. They're clearly just as clueless about this situation as I am. Now, they think I'm angry at them.

I open the door to see Silverstream shaking like a leaf and cowering away from me. I crouch down and try to sound reassuring again. "Look, I'm not mad at you, ok? I'm just frustrated at my situation, and I took it out on you guys. I'm sor-oof!" That was quick.

"Apology accepted!" She says from the hug-hold she has on me. She has the biggest smile on her beak and her tail is wagging. Yup, definitely real. I don't really know how to react in this scenario, as I'm not much of a 'touchy-feely' kind of person.

"Uh... thanks?" I say with an awkward smile. "So now that-"

"Now that we're best friends, there's SO much we need to do! I'll show you around town, and then we'll go to the school, and then-" Jeez, these guys love to ramble. I look over her shoulder to her friends for any sign of help. Gallus and Smolder glance at each other, before giving me a shrug with their claws. Sandbar and Yona are just trying not to laugh. Ocellus, on the other hand, looked the same as when I fist saw her this morning; full of excitement and anticipation. She had a bundle of really long paper (reminded me of scroll parchment) in one hoof Still have no idea how that works, and a large feather in the other. A quill? Where am I, Hogwarts? That would explain the mythical creatures... table that thought for later. It's at this point that I'm starting to get a headache. Right, she's still talking. "-then I'll introduce you to my parents! Can you breath underwammmph?" I wait until she stops talking, then I let go of her beak. I'm only mildly surprised to find out that it's just as tough as any other bird's. In the spur of the moment, I pat her head and give my best Shrek impression.

"That'll do Silvar, that'll do" She seems confused by my reference, but then decides to just relish in the feeling of my hand. Just like a big kitty. I go to move my hand away and she follows it with her head. When they separate, she looks genuinely saddened. Huh, she must really like physical affection. Maybe it's part of her culture?

I move past them and sit back down on the couch, next to my bag. They form a semi-circle around me and sit down on the floor. "Alright, I said it could wait till morning, so I guess you all should go first."

"What are you?" They asked in unison. That's my line. The fact that their first question is to ask me what I am, both relieves and uneases me. Relief from the fact that they clearly have no idea how I got here. Unease, because if they have never seen a human around here, then... Where is "here"?

"Human: species name being homo sapien" Ocellus writes down my response in two seconds. Then, she looks at me expectantly for my question. The others try to pronounce the word "human" and discuss how they have never heard of it before. "Where am I?" Just like with myself, they were suprised by the first question to be asked. They tilted their heads and gave each other side long glances.

"You don't know where you are?" Ocellus asks, hints of confusion and worry returning to her voice.

"I overheard Gallus, referring to some place called the "Everfree". Can I assume that's the name of the forrest we're in?" That only seemed to leave them in a greater state of bewilderment.

"If you don't even know what the Everfree is, how did you end up here?" asks Smolder. And there's the million dollar question.

"That's what I would like to know. I just woke up in that forrest after getting back home from my job. Where even is this place located?" I realized that knowing the name of the forest did nothing for my predicament.

Silver (now, not looking so down) answers. "We're a small hike east of Ponyville" she said in a matter that made it sound like that would answer all my questions.

"And that is... where?" I raise an eyebrow and roll my wrist in a "go on" gesture.

If I wasn't confusing them before, then now I have reached "you grew a second head". "It's the next stop heading south out of Canterlot..." Gallus tries to imitate my tone of voice with his statement. He's expecting that statement to ring a few bells. Instead of ringing bells, all I do is repeat my gesture.

I figured that the second head must now be speaking Spanish or something, based on the new looks I'm receiving. "It capital of Equestria." Yona states in her usual (borderline Neanderthal) tone of voice. Wherever I am must have a weird fascination with Equines. With fear crawling at the back of my mind, I repeat the gesture.

A third head has appeared and they are both Brazilian soccer commentators now. "The largest kingdom on Equis..." Smolder followed Gallus's lead with more confusion in her tone.

A heavy weight sits at the bottom of my stomach from her use of the word "on". "Is that... an island or something?" Please God, don't let it be what I think it is.

Much to my surprise, they all seem to think I just told a really bad dad joke... so a dad joke. However, at my unwavering expression, their confusion returns. Sandbar is the next to speak. "He IS joking, right?" The question was directed at Ocellus, who seemed to be at a loss for words. Is she just really good at reading faces?

"H-he's not!" A quintuplet of gasps, wide eyes, and open mouths made themselves known in the room.

Please no... "Can I get some context? Is this "Equis" place supposed to be well known?" Please...

"Well... I would hope so, considering it's the name of the planet." Ocellus seemed to still be struggling to form sentences.

Houston, we have a problem. It may have been cheesy, but I was fresh out of rational things to think today. So instead, I inhaled deeply and laid back on the couch. With my head facing the ceiling (similar in design to the bathroom), I exhaled. "Huh... stranded on an alien planet... neat" In hindsight, it seems pretty obvious (what with all the mis-matched stars and talking creatures) I was talking to myself, but the statement didn't go unnoticed.

"Wow, an actual alien! Awesome!" Smolder looks at me like I'm the coolest new toy on the market. Right... I'M the alien in this situation.

Not wanting to start another ramble, I speak my mind. "Look, can we please just do the one question thing? I'm trying my absolute best not to freak out at mythical beings that don't exist where I'm from." My face portrays a pleading look.

"Our species don't exist where you're from?" The ever knowledge hungry, Ocellus picks apart my plead for information.

"That's a complicated answer to give" I'd rather think about this Q and A, than the impossibilities of what's happening I look to the bovine and equine. "Assuming it's called the same thing here-" My own sentence gives me pause. "How we are even speaking the same language in the first place, in and of itself, is an anomaly, but regardless... I'm assuming that you're a pony and that you're a yak?" I say pointing to Sandbar and then Yona respectfully.

"Alien know yak and pony?" Asks said yak.

"Yes, however, ours are not sapient creatures like you or me. Basically, they're barn animals-now before you freak out!" I tac on, after seeing their looks of offense. "Let me reiterate, that they are completely different. They can't speak, they can't form rational thought, and they certainly don't look like you." I motion heavily to Sandbar. "The color palate of our pony's, only range from blacks, whites, browns, and faded yellows. Their muzzles are far more pronounced than your's. They can't rotate their limbs like I have seen you do. Unless that's some kind of tattoo, they don't have pictures on their flanks. The list goes on, really."

"They don't have cutie marks?" Sandbar seems to be struggling to picture this weird "long nose'd pony".

...because why wouldn't the ass tattoo be called a "cutie mark". Please tell me this isn't their version of a tramp stamp and he's some dangerously confused twink. One deep breath later. "Let's just get through this first question" I mumble while massaging my, caffein deprived, headache.

"What about the rest of us? You said that the answer was complicated." Silverstream relays her question while hopping up on the couch next to me.

"And that statement is especially true for you three." I nod my head towards the clawed individuals. Ocellus doesn't even acknowledge that I excluded her. She's too lost in the task of building her mountain of documentation. "Dragon, griffon, and hippogriff... correct?" They each give their own conformation to their respective species. "Simply put, you're all works of fiction from my world. The concept of your species exist in stories, but they're just that; stories."

"Well, at least we're not barn animals." Gallus tries to look on the bright side while smolder gives him a deadpan stare.

"Ohh! What about Ocellus?" Somehow, during my explanation, Silver's head ended up in my lap. My left hand was scratching behind her ear, without myself even realizing it. I'd be lying if I said it wasn't helping me relax, so I let her be.

At the mention of her name, Ocellus finally ceases her writing. "Which bring me to my next question." I lock eyes with her. "What ARE you, exactly?" With the attention directed towards her, she hides her face using the parchment. She'll question an alien all day with no worries. Have the conversation be about her and suddenly she's shy.

"I-I'm a changeling." That set off some red flags for me. In any connotation that I could remember, a changeling was used to steal the identity of another being. In other words A Shapeshifter.

"Hmmm. Since I'm five for five, can I assume you have the ability to mimic another creature's appearance?" She only nods in response. "Might I ask what you do with this ability?" My tone is neutral, but she sees the accusation it hides.

"Well it used to be our only method of feeding on love. B-but, now it's just a method for self defense!" She seems real adamant that I know they don't use it to eat. Wait, they FEED on love? File that one under "Totally Not Evil". Please, please, please tell me they're not Succubi.

"When you say FEED on love, what do you mean by that? Does that have anything to do with... hmmm" Right. Kids. "Uh quick side question: how old are all of you?" Giving "the talk" was not on my agenda today.

They state their ages as followed:

Sandbar and Yona at 15.

Gallus, Smolder, and Ocellus at 16.

Silver at 17.

Huh, older than I would of guessed. "I'll return the favor and say I'm 28. Now, back to my original question: does this "feeding" have anything to do with... mating with another species?" From what little I could see of her face, it was covered in a deep blush.

"S-some of my hive use'd to do that. But that's not how we survive. We simply feed off of the love one individual feels for another. Or... who they think is another I suppose." Now I'm lost.

"You get nutrients out of an emotion? So do you injest the chemical in their brain that stimulates it?" I must have been way off, due to her look of abject horror.

"N-NO! That sounds horrible!" She objects, somehow looking more green. "We use'd special glands that would allow us harvest love out of a... host's body via the magic that they naturally produce".

"...Another quick question: do you have anything with caffeine in it?"

"Uh, we got tea, why?" Asks smolder just as my right eye twitches.

"Could I trouble you for some?" My face stays expressionless.

"Suuuuuure?" She says with an uneasy look on her face and flies to a separate room. We sit in awkward silence for a few moments.

"Wh-" I cut Ocellus off with the raise of a finger. I stare at the wall with my jaw clenched. The sound of a flame thrower could be heard in the adjacent room, followed shortly by a high pitch whistle. Finally, the sound of china being arranged on a platter.

Silverstream raises from my lap and walks over to a different room. I note a distinct lack of a limp, which helps a fragment of my brain feel more at ease. She walks back around the corner caring a foldable table on her back. She sets the table down in front of me just as Smolder comes out with the tea set.

"Thank you very much", I politely tell her as she sets down the tray and Silver hops back on the couch. I pour myself a cup and take a tentative sip. I smile and let out a sigh as I continue to drink.

"I don't usually drink tea, but I must say that this is the best I have ever had". I smile down at the dragon while she blushes and averts her gaze.

"Uh, thanks or...whatever" She mumbles under her breath. Frankly, I din't care about what she said. I was simply enjoying the relieved pain in my skull. Placebo or otherwise, I was taking anything I could get at this point.

"You referred to this in the past tense. I assume there is a new method you use now?"

"Well, King Thorax recently discovered that if we willingly offer our own love to each other it creates a self sustaining cycle where we no longer need to feed on others". Magic exists, but the Law of Conservation of Mass/Energy doesn't? Her features darken and she stomps her hoof. "Before, it was a dark and terrible part of are past ruled by a tyrant who only wanted to rule Equestria. We made a vow to never again live like that" ...Well good for her, but still, the whole magic thing...

Don't think about it. Thinking hurts. Drink tea. "Your turn".

"Well... what is your diet? I noticed you have canines." At the mention of my non-herbivore teeth, the other beings on the floor, scooted further away from me.

"My species is omnivorous. We can eat just about anything except most grasses and flowers" I look towards Sandbar. "Can I assume that hay is an integral part of your diet?"

"Yeah! How'd you know?"

"Horses and-"

"*Gasp!*"

"Oh what now?"

"You shouldn't say stuff like that!" Ocellus says with an angry expression on her face.

"...OK clearly the word "Horse" means something different here, so would you kindly explain to me what it is?"

Sandbar is the one to answer. "It refers to a mare who is... "open for business" with other stallions" Gallus tries to hold back his laughter while Smolder elbow him in the gut.

I nearly spit out my tea in realization. Not in embarrassment, but at the complete hilarity of the incident. I choke down my tea and slap my knee. "Oh, I needed that. HA!" Me and Gallus give out chuckles for different reasons.

"What is so funny?"

"Its just, he he, the word we use for that is called a "Whore". A "Horse" is just another animal from my world. As I was saying, equines were fead hay and other assorted grasses where I'm from. Which is not something us humans can consume".

"What kind of animal is... it?"

"Well, think about the ponies I described, but taller than me". Sandbar looks to the area above me in childlike wonder.

"Coooool"

"I'll also be upfront and say that cows, chickens, and pigs are some of the the most commonly consumed meats. Any of those sentient here?" I say in a joking matter.

"Just the cows"

"Wait, really? Just how many species speak around here?"

"I think somewhere around 20. Why? How many species are like that for your world?"

"It's just us. Nothing else reaches are intellect. Top of the food chain with no threat but ourselves" I say with pride.

"That sounds kinda lonely" Silver says with a saddened expression.

"Trust me, with a population of 8 billion, it's rather hard to be completely alone".

"8 BILLION?!!? You would have to be the most advanced and unified species to ever exist!" Ocellus's horn began to glow a faded blue while she was writing. Glowing a similar color, a separate quill and parchment began taking notes on their own. "It's levee-O-sah not levee-oh-saw". I know they already mentioned magic but... fuck me! The damn thing is writing on its own!

Ugh, hopefully this ends soon. "Advanced? Yes. Unified? Complicated."

"How advanced? How complicated?"

"We would be here all day if I tried to explain that. On a much more pressing matter, is there anyone I can talk to about getting back home? Not that you all are bad company, but I kinda have a family that's wondering wear I am." Also so I can find the one responsible for stranding me here in the first place. I had a lot of things to say and do to that individual that would not be pleasant for younger audiences.

"If there is anypony that can help, I'm sure its Princess Twighlight." Sandbar seems confident in his statement.

"Good idea. I know she would want to hear about this anyways." Ocellus states while writing on a fresh piece of paper.

"*sigh* Thank you. That's a huge relief knowing that there's someone who can help" There is only so much petting and tea can do.

"No problem. Smolder, would you?" She floats the sealed scroll over to her dragon friend. Said dragon douses the scroll in flames before it turns into sparkly smoke and flies out the window. You can't write this shit.

"So how long until-" *FLASH* A bright flash along with a sound I couldn't identify goes off near the door. I almost dive for my gun and cover before I see what made the noise.

Panting heavily with a frantic look, sits a new creature to add to the roster. Similar in bodily shape to Sandbar, I pin that this must be another type of pony. Unlike Sandbar however, this one stands at 4 ft even and has more feminine features to her face and hair. She sports a unicorn horn that parts her bangs and has a pair of wings on her back. Her coat is a "Light Wisteria" purple, with her horn and wings matching. Her main and tail (which are in complete disarray and filled with sticks and leaves) are "Astronaut" blue with a stripe of "Cerise" pink and "Seance" purple. Her "cutie mark" was of a pink six pointed star with 5 small white star surrounding it. Her eyes were a "Eminence" purple.

Riding on her back was another dragon holding the same note Smolder sent. Much more stout than Smolder, this one seemed to be only 3 ft tall. Based on the difference in eye shape, I labeled him as male. His scales matched the same shade of purple as the pony's. He had a "Tusk" green underbelly with "Sulu" green frills. Finally, his spines were pastel green. The eyes appeared to be a multi-hued arrangement of greens.

I look to her horn and notice that it is glowing in a similar fashion to Ocellus's. To the right of her head, suspended in the same aura, floats-

"My shoe!"

Author's Note

As always, there is a lot that can be discussed here, both about the story and the schedule. Any and all questions about either I would be happy to answer. Hope it was worth the wait... probably not, ain't gonna lie.