The psychotic gentlegriff

Anubis’s POV

It was now 12 o’clock and I had worked myself to the bone, it burned but I oddly enjoyed the feel of it. I had work up an appetite, so I bounded towards Celestia and she got to her hooves.

“Is it lunch time already? And I thought time only flew when you were having fun.” Celestia shook her head and gestured for me to follow.

“Am I going to be joining you for lunch?” I hope she says yes, so badly.

“Oh so you like my company?” I nodded my head. “Or are you just after the food?” She had a knowing grin and i put my claws up and waved them dismissively.

“No um well…. What if it’s a bit of both.” I offered a sheepish smile and then an idea popped into my head. “I could make some tea, if you want.”

She took a second to think it over. “Mhmmm I believe that is a fair deal and I do quite enjoy your company as well, okay you may join me for lunch.”

I jumped into the air. “Yesss!!!”

We started heading towards Celestia’s private dining room and my stomach growled in approval.

When we arrived at the large double doors the guard gave me a questioning look before Celestia ordered them to open the doors. Now that I think about it, I’ve seen a lot more guards in the castle since the beginning of the day. I gave the guards a cheeky smile before taking a seat at the over sized table and Celestia chuckled at my eagerness.

“So Anubis, what are you going to be having for lunch?”

“Can I have 6 large fried fish and a large potato salad with some orange juice please, oh and a cup of tea as well.”

“Wow Graceful wasn’t kidding about your unbelievable appetite, okay I’ll have the chefs prepare all of that Anubis.”

“Oh can you have everything I need to make tea brought out here please, I did agree to make tea after all.”

“Yes you did, I’ll have all of it brought here then.”

“Thank you Celestia.”

The head chef came out of a side door and Celestia gave him our orders, he looked a little surprised when she asked for 6 large fried fish.

“So I get to go and buy some things for myself this Saturday, why not just have Captain Sky take me now?”

“Well it’s a bit short notice for that if I’m being honest Anubis.”

“Yeah but think about it, not only will it get it out of the way but it also means that both of your Captains won’t be too busy to help you if something happens.”

“Mhmmm you do have a point, at least I’ll have Captain Sky on that Saturday if I need her but why do you want to go today?”

“I haven’t really seen the city, I’ve only been to a few places and that includes the castle and Graceful’s home…. As well as the cafe he goes to every morning, so I just want to see what’s out there.”

“Anubis I’ll consider it but you must understand that I only want to keep you safe, I’ve never seen a griffon like you before and I don’t want to risk anything happening to you.”

“I understand but why does it feel like I’m a prisoner then?”

“Anubis you’re not a prisoner, it’s just that you don’t understand the dangers out there. Especially with what just happened a few blocks away from where you were staying.”

“It doesn’t feel that way and I’ll be with the captain of the wonderbolts, who’s going to attack me Celestia?”

“(Sigh) Anubis you have a point but I don’t want to risk it.”

“Please Celestia let me go, if it makes you feel better you can have a guard accompany me and Captain Sky.”

“Okay fine I’ll have a guard and Captain Sky follow you around but do not run off on your own, I’ll inform her after we’ve eaten lunch.”

“Thank you so much Celestia!!” I jumped off my chair and bounced over to her and gave her a big hug, she had a light blush on her cheek.

“Y-You’re welcome Anubis.”

After I got back to my chair, the chefs brought the food out and I could smell the fried fish, it smelled even better than before. I guess with me and the griffon royals here, it makes sense that they’ve got good at making it. Now that I think about it, is there any other meats that I could eat? Then again would chicken be considered cannibalism?

I was about to dig into my food but Celestia levitated the plates away from me and I looked at her in confusion.

“Sorry but I would like some tea first Anubis.”

“Oh okay, sure thing.”

I quickly began to make two cups of tea and Celestia waited patiently, I guess she really liked it.

After I gave her a cup of tea and she returned my food, I quickly dug in and it was incredible. I love the food the chefs make here. It took me a measly 15 minutes to eat all of the food on my plates, the potato salad was delicious and it went well with the fish.

“Are you still hungry? Because desserts on the way.”

“Wha really?” She nodded and my beak must had been hanging out because she gave a giggle.

“Yes, really.”

“I don’t actually remember the last time I had something sweet.”

“Oh um well…. You can have whatever you want, so please help yourself.”

“Thank so so so much Celestia.”

I actually feel like a kid again…. Before I became some prick’s torture time test subject. About three trolleys filled with cakes, cookies and sweet.

I happily started taking brownies and cookies, even a slice of sponge cake. I took a bite of the chocolate brownie and my taste buds exploded, it was like a party in my mouth. Celestia gave me a knowing smile and I swallowed the food in my mouth. “It’s really good, like it’s really really good.”

“You have chocolate icing on your beak Anubis.”

“Oh sorry, I can’t hear you over how good this food is Celestia.”

“Okay then I’ll just have to get that for you.”

“Wha,” Celestia then teleported behind me and used her magic to wipe the icing off my beak. “Hey, easy on the merchandise Celestia.”

“I’m not being that rough, don’t be so whiny.”

She then went back to her seat and got straight back into eating a whole 3 layer cake, what sort of exercise plan is she on because I’m jealous.

After lunch we went to the training ground where Captain Sky was, Celestia said something to one of her guards. I still don’t know how to tell them apart, I’m so glad Graceful’s armour doesn’t do that.

When we found Sky she was wearing a bomber jacket, it suited her if I’m being completely honest. We approached her and she gave Celestia a sharp salute.

“At ease Captain, I’ve got an assignment for you and your second in command. I need you to take Anubis out to get something that isn’t “dangerous” for his new room.”

“Of course your highness but if I may ask, why don’t you take him out yourself.” She gave Celestia a look and I didn’t see what she was getting at.

Celestia stuttered out. “I-I-I h-have my royal duties to attend to, so that’s why I’m asking you captain.”

“Oh of course your highness, I’ll go get my lieutenant immediately.” And she took off in the blink of an eye.

We waited about 3 minutes before Captain Sky came back with a purple pegasus mare with a black mane and tail. I tried to get a look at her cutie mark but I received a slap over my head from Celestia’s wing.

“Ouch what did I do wrong!?!”

“You were staring at her flanks Anubis.”

“Only to get a look at her cutie mark, I promise I wasn’t staring.”

“That’s not any better, you shouldn’t be trying to get a look at her cutie mark straight away Anubis.”

“Okay I’m sorry for looking, I wasn’t trying to be rude.”

The purple Pegasus gave me a warm smile. “It’s okay…. Oh where are my manners, I’m lieutenant Blazing Stream nice to meet you….” She gestured for me to continue.

“Oh um my name’s Anubis Grimgost, pleasure to meet you lieutenant Blazing Stream.”

After I got acquainted with the lieutenant of the Wonderbolts, Celestia took her leave and we quickly took flight into the city. I struggled to keep up with them at first but after a while they slowed down to fly along side me. I wasn’t fast or good at flying but I was improving and Captain Sky was giving me pointers as we flew, with out shouting.

We landed in what looked to busy street, lined with shops and restaurants. Then I realised that I don’t even know how much I can spend, I should ask Captain Sky.

“Hey um Captain, do you know what my budget is?”

“Of course, the princess hasn’t given you a budget.”

“Wha wait what, you’re joking right?”

“No Anubis, so enjoy yourself because we only got until 6 o’clock.”

“Really? Hell yeah, that’s what I like to hear.” I’m going to make Celestia regret not giving me a budget. I’m definitely going to get some clothes, these ponies just don’t stop staring.

“Excuse me but Anubis why are your wings up like that?”

“Because it’s comfortable, why is there a problem?”

“Well no but you’re drawing a lot of attention to yourself.”

“Oh okay I’ll fold them, I thought it was because I’m not wearing anything.”

“Yeah don’t worry about that, they just like to show off their wealth.”

“I still want some clothes, something nice but not flashy. Do any of you know a place?”

Lieutenant Blazing answered “Mhmm I actually might know a.” She was interrupted by Captain Sky, now I’m curious about what she was saying.

“Oh do speak up lieutenant Blazing, you’ve peaked my curiosity.”

Captain Sky’s face went red. “(Cough) (Cough) sorry Anubis but the establishment my lieutenant is suggesting, isn’t suitable for a seventeen year old griffon such as yourself.”

Ok what’s she trying to hide? Because I’m so going to dig it up. “And why is that Captain? Hmmm hiding something dirty?”

Her cheeks turned a dark crimson red and her eyes fell to the floor. “Look it’s non of your business Anubis, not to mention that I’m in charge here. So we’re going find a clothing store and get you some garments, like you wanted.”

“Um okay sure, sorry for pressing you Captain.” Wow I really pissed her off, she’s gonna work me to the bone tomorrow.

We made our way down the street and I got a glimpse into one of the store windows, it was an alchemy shop. So I just walked in and started looking around but a unicorn whom I presumed was the shop keep, trotted up to me with a smile. As I went to say hello I felt a tug on my shoulder, I spun around and found a furious smiling Captain Sky awaiting me.

“Oh um hello there Captain Sky, I was just seeing if there’s anything that interested me in here.”

“(Sigh) Anubis I’m annoyed with you but not angry, so don’t act scared of me please. Anyway is there anything that you want in here?”

“Actually yes, I’d like to get an alchemy set.”

We spent about 10 minutes looking for every thing I wanted and when we left I had two large bags of ingredients, flasks and bottles. Blazing offered to carry them for me but I turned it down, they weren’t even that heavy anyway.

“So now do you want to get some clothes Anubis…. Anubis!?! Oh fuck where did he disappear to?”

Sorry but I smelt food, good food. It smelled like waffles and I liked waffles, so I borrowed some bits from that magical little bag of infinite bits. I had like twenty coins, but I didn’t really know what a bit was worth. I followed the smell and it led me to a shop that specialised in waffles, pancakes and crêpes. I saw a line and went to the back to wait, when I finally got to make my order the pony running the place gave me a suspicious look.

“Please may I get two waffles with maple syrup.”

“Yeah I’ll get right on that in just a second, please wait for your order over there sir.” With a forced smile he pointed over to an empty table against the wall, he seemed polite enough i guess but I didn’t like the way he looked at me. I placed my bags down and took a seat.

After about a minute I received a tap on my shoulder, Thinking it was Captain Sky I turned around. “Look I’m hungry so give me a minute please.”

This was the wrong answer because I received a hoof to the face and it sent me into the wall. I immediately knew that it wasn’t the Captain, when I saw who had assaulted me I was shocked to say the least. It was a royal guard who had drawn his sword.

“Don’t move or things will get ugly, griffon!!”

“Wait what but you attacked me you prick?!?”

“SILENCE!!! Your under arrest, so come quietly and there will be no consequences.”

Who the fuck was this guy talking to because I know it definitely isn’t me. “Sorry mate but I’m waiting for waffles, come back later when you’re not got a stick up your ass.”

“I GAVE YOU A WARNING!!”

He swung his sword at me but i kicked him in the foreleg, causing him to drop the sword and fall over. He shot up and before I could do anything I felt a sharp pain in my back, turns out that he wasn’t alone. His partner was waiting behind my seat, sneaky little mare but I was a little more then pissed.

“So explain what I did wrong? what crime I committed?”

“You assaulted a royal guard with the intention to kill.” The now gathering crowd of ponies gasped in horror as if I’m the bad guy here and that prick was grinning. Well if they want to see what a intent to kill really looks like, then I’ll put on a show.

“Oh no no no, that wasn’t me trying to kill you but I can demonstrate what that could look like.” The smug grin on his muzzle vanishes and my own wild grin formed. Then the smaller guards mare took a swing at me with her sword and I took a step back, the sword just missing me. She then landed a mean uppercut on my beak and I stumbled back, I quickly got my balance and she went to hit me again. I ducked under and pushed her back, i luckily didn’t get cut by her sword but I could feel the cut on my back had healed and the sharp pain subsided.

“Anubis!?! Anubis?!? Anub….”

Captain Sky flew directly at the guard who had tried to stab me even though it wouldn’t have mattered, A for effect I guess. She slammed her into the display and jumped up to meet the other guard who was pointing his sword at her now.

“Don’t m-move you two are under.” She cut him off immediately.

“You are under arrest for not only assaulting a personal guest of the princess but drawing a weapon against the captain of the Wonderbolts.” He dropped his weapon immediately and lieutenant Blazing came out of nowhere, taking his weapon before thoroughly inspecting my condition. More guards showed up and Sky explained everything, the guards that attacked me were taken away. I was just asked a bunch of questions and scolded by the Captain and lieutenant for going off on my own. Celestia’s going to flip when she finds out…. What why do I care what she thinks?

After that little fiasco I was given an ice pack and we went to a tailor shop.

“For Celestia’s sake Anubis, am I going to have to put a leash on you or something.”

“Hey Sky?!? And to think you told me off for suggesting a place that sells them.” Blazing Stream complained.

“Aarrr hell no! You are not putting a leash on me like some sort of pet, not in a million years.”

“Oh my? No Anubis that’s not what I meant at all, honestly.”

“Sure you didn’t, you and the lieutenant seem to have extensive knowledge of that stuff mhmmm.”

“Hahah oh you have no idea cub.”

“Blazing! Shut up okay.” The Captain looked around before smacking the purple pegasus mare over the head with her wing.

“Oooooh oh wow, why didn’t you tell me sooner I would have opted to go to a lovely restaurant so you two could have a bit of fun.”

“Anubis I’ll have you fly for 3 hours straight tomorrow if you don’t shut up.”

“Yes Captain.” I gave a salute. “So am I getting a dapper suit or what?”

“Yep this lovely mare will be taking your measurement, so no biting.” She turned to the mare in question at that last part.

“I’m not going to bite her Captain.”

“Oh no, I know that silly but I wasn’t talking to you.”

“Wha wait? What does that mean? Captain Sky?” I reluctantly followed the dark gray mare.

We eventually left that shop with a few pieces of form fitting clothes and two suits. One was a nice 3 piece light gray and red suit and the other was a butler’s uniform. I didn’t get a choice and that mare made me really uncomfortable, she kept flicking her tail at me. I was not sure how trousers were going to work with my anatomy.

“So Anubis, where to now?”

“No clue, I just wanted to explore Canterlot. So any suggestions?”

“You’re joking right?”

“Nope, I’ve never been shopping before.”

“Oh yeah, sorry I forgot about that….”

“It’s fine, let’s just find a cool shop.”

“Well you two, we could go to a model store or a camping store?”

“Mhmmm, that’s a good idea Blazing.”

“Well I am full of them Anubis.”

I followed lieutenant Blazing and Captain Sky to a small store that had a lot of model boats, they were styled in a similar fashion to the old Spanish galleons of the Spanish Armada. Some had balloons above them and I remember that airships are real here.

I walked in the front door and a bell alerted the shop keeper to our arrival. He had a soft voice and it would have been difficult to hear him if I didn’t have satellites on top of my head. “Hello there, h-how can I help you?”

“Well we’re looking for a few models that aren’t too difficult but not easy by any means.” Captain Sky had decided to speak for me.

“Oh well we have plenty of model air ships and normal ships, so please have a look around and call me over if there’s anything you find interesting.”

“Thank you very much, go on Anubis go look around.”

“You don’t have to ask me twice.”

I went off and started to look around, grabbing anything that looked cool. I spent 3 minutes just putting set after set of models on the counter and the shop keeper looked confused. The total came up to 545.99 bits, so no where near the amount i spent on clothes but it was still a lot.

Leaving the store we took flight, they helped me carry my bags and we made our way back to the castle. When we landed at the front gates I immediately was enveloped by a golden aura that lifted me off the ground. I then saw that I was heading towards Celestia and I knew I was going to be told off.

She’s going to be even more strict with me now, I’ll be lucky to see the outside world ever again. I didn’t even get to see all of Canterlot and now I’ll never be given the chance, NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!

I never even got my waffles.