30 Minute Delay

Imagination Reformation

“Oh no! Ninjas!”

“Ninjas? Aw-haw-haw-some!”

“Yeah! I wanna be a ninja!”

“Are you kidding? Ninjas are the bad guys. Now Vikings and pirates, they’re the awesome ones!”

“HEY! Would you boys shut up?!” Startled, the four colts looked up from their comic book at Diamond Tiara, who was glaring at them from across the room.

“Besides, princesses are better than all of them!”

All together; Snips, Snails, Pipsqueak and Featherweight all gasped and glared back. Diamond Tiara ignored them and headed back to her friends.

“She doesn’t know what she’s talking about.” Muttered Featherweight.

“Princesses are better than pirates? She’s crazy.” Added Pip.

“Totally! Though ninjas are still better.” Snips couldn’t resist.

“I still want to be a ninja.” Snails, off in his head, managed to add.

“Too bad we can’t find out for real. That’d be really fun.”

“Maybe we can,” mused Snips,

“I’m sure I heard about a spell that lets you see books in your head like a movie. We could do it for the comic!”

“But where are we gonna find a unicorn to cast it for us?”

Snips growled at this. Snails, still seeing himself as ninja-Snails in his head, didn’t notice.

“There’s two of us right here Pip!”

“Well, yeah I guess,” began the Trottingham pony,

“But doesn’t it require a lot of magical power?”

“Ah, I’m sure me and Snails could do it between us, right Snails? Snails? SNAILS!” Snips hollered at his friend, finally penetrating the haze.

“Huh? Oh yeah, sure, what Snips said.”

“You see? We could totally do it! What do you say?” Pip and Featherweight looked at each other for a moment before grinning and nodding back.

“I’m in!”

“Me too!”

“Sweet! Me and Snails will go look up the spell later on and we’ll cast it tomorrow after school, okay?”

“Kay!”

<><><><><><>

As the little ones left school for the day, the four colts were among those who were spending time in the school playground. At Snips’ signal, they set the comic down and stepped back.

“Snips, are you sure you can do this?” Pipsqueak had had all night to let his doubts build.

“One hundred percent!” He looked to his partner in crime, who was thinking about ninjas again.

“Snails, we’re up. Follow my lead.”

“Yeah, sure, you got it Snips.”

It took quite a bit of time to build the power needed to cast the spell, so that when they finally began there were only a half-dozen kids left in the vicinity. Magical trails from the horns of the two unicorn colts slowly wove their way down to the comic book, causing it to glow and shift. Soon it began to spin as the light got brighter and brighter, forcing the four to shield their eyes with their hooves so they could only look through slits.

This viewpoint caused Snails to again think about being ninja-Snails, just as the light exploded outwards.

<><><><><><>

“Urgh, by Celestia’s beard…” Muttered the Pegasus as he sat up. Shaking his head to clear it, he took stock. Finding himself in unfamiliar surroundings, the woodlands before him offered few answers. Groggily standing up, he went through the Viking emergency checklist.

Body? Aye. Mane? Attached. Axe? Nay. Where is mine axe?! Becoming increasingly angry (the only appropriate attitude, Vikings do not get worried), he cast about for his axe, finally spotting it wedged between two roots. Tugging it free, he slung it over his shoulder and began walking, trying to remember why he was here.

<><><><><><>

“I say, slow down!”

“Yar.”

“Do we have to travel this way?”

“Yar.”

“Is there anywhere I could freshen up?”

“YAAARRRR!!!! Why did I find the only princess in the entire world who has nothing of value?” Said princess drew herself up haughtily.

“Now see here, you vagabond! I don’t appreciate you talking about me in such a manner?”

“Why, yer majesty? Is the language of a pirate too salty for you?” This brought more dignified outrage.

“You, sir, are no gentlecolt.”

“Well thank goodness for that or this’d probably never work. Now, kindly shut up while I find my way out of here.”

“How dare you?! I am Dia Monti Ara, princess of this land!” The pink-clad princess stomped her hoof in anger. The pirate wheeled about, facing her with a cocky grin on his face.

“Well I’m Pipward Squeakgate, otherwise known as Whitefur, somehow, I think it more likely you’ve heard of me than I have of you.” For the first time the princess seemed to see him properly.

“YOU are Whitefur?”

“I know, you thought I’d be taller. I get that a lot.”

“You are the dread pirate who everypony fears?” His grin got wider.

“Good, isn’t it? Helps a great deal with my endeavours. Why ponies just throw food, drink and wenches such as yourself at me so that I don’t sack their town. I don’t go hungry, I’ll tell you that.”

“WHO ARE YOU CALLING A WENCH!?!?!?!?!?!?!?” She tried to slap him across the face for the insult but he simply dodged it. She tried again with the same result. This went on for a minute or two before the two became aware of a rustling among the bushes. Not smiling now, Whitefur drew his sword, just in time to bring it up to meet the axe of the roaring Pegasus who’d jumped from the greenery. Princess Ara shrieked and scrambled away behind some trees, poking her head out as the two battled.

“Well, my good chap,” Pipward breathed as he blocked and swung,

“What seems to be the problem?”

“I DEMAND BATTLE! THEN ANSWERS!” Roared the Pegasus as his axe crashed against the sword again.

“I’m having a thought here, friend. How’s about I scurry back a few steps, you do the same, and we skip straight to the answers? You’re scaring the lady.” The Viking simply smirked back.

“Dost thou mean the lady that was spirited away whilst we did battle?”

“WHAT?!” Eyes wide, Whitefur spun around to search for her, then back to his opponent,

“You didn’t think to mention this earlier?”

“Battles are for blades, not words.” Throwing his hooves up in frustration, Pip quickly lowered them again as his opponent took this as a sign of aggression and raised his axe in response.

“Did you at least see which way they went?” The Viking nodded and pointed with his axe.

“Aye. Two wraiths stole yon wench away in that direction.” The pirate sighed.

“Well, come on. We’d best head that way and try to get some answers, eh?”

“Verily.” They began walking, keeping a wary distance between each other.

“I am Feathor Weightsson, who is thine father?”

“Good question. I’ll tell you when I find out. The name’s Whitefur in the meantime.”

<><><><><><>

“I apologise for your rough ride, my dear. Sunipu and Sunairusu are extremely efficient but they are not much concerned with luxuries,” Princess Ara’s eyes cracked open as the strange pony continued talking,

“That being said, I welcome you to my lair. Hopefully your stay will be a brief and pleasant one.” She craned her neck around but couldn’t see her captor.

“Who are you? Where have you taken me?”

“Ah, forgive my manners. Unfortunately I can’t disclose our location, however, I can at least introduce myself.” Suddenly, lightning crackled all around them and a rotund pony in a lab coat stood on a Dias amongst the tanks and wires.

“I am Professor Truffle Shuffle, the greatest genius of our time!” Dia hadn’t heard of him but played along anyway until she could discern a suitable way to escape.

“What do you want with me…….Professor?” The corpulent scientist gave her a not-unkind smile.

“Very little, your majesty. Simply put, you are a means to an end. Your father the king is, according to rumours, filthy rich. I am in need of capital to continue my research. I am hopeful that the king will be accommodating if I guarantee the safe return of his daughter.”

“So I am a hostage?”

“Such an ugly word, my dear. Too many negative connotations. I prefer to think of you as a way to strengthen my negotiating position."

“To gain money you haven’t earned.” This was, perhaps, the wrong thing to say.

“HAVEN’T EARNED?! Nopony is more deserving than I! I alone scoured the world to discover the clues left behind, the trail of breadcrumbs leading to the ultimate prize! No, Princess, I have earned my fee a hundred times over and a hundred times again!” He visibly collected himself,

“However, I am no extortionist. I do not ask for vast sums, only enough to cover my costs. I am no banker. To me, excess capital is more a nuisance than a help.”

“What will you do if my father doesn’t pay?”

“Well first I would be disappointed in him for being so callous with his daughter’s wellbeing. After that I would, regrettably, have to force the issue, preferably non-lethally.”

“Your reluctance to harm speaks well of you Professor. Why not let me go to my father myself so that I can argue your case?”

“You are too kind, Princess, but alas I cannot permit it. Freeing you would be much too dangerous, given your current situation. Look down.” She did, noticing for the first time her bindings and that she was suspended above a churning quicksand sea.

“You understand now, yes? You are safest where you are.”

“Yes,” she hissed, thoughts of the terrible vengeance she would wreak upon this colt the moment she was free filling her mind,

“I understand perfectly.”

<><><><><><>

“Art doors of iron common to the forests of his land?”

“Are they common to the forests of ANY land? Come on, let’s get it open.” A cursory search yielded no visible means of entry and neither of them had the tools on hand to force them open.

“They appear most impenetrable.”

“Well I’m not leaving without finding out what’s in there. There must be some way in.”

That was when the trapdoor opened under their hooves.

<><><><><><>

“So what is your vaunted research, Professor? You act as if it will change the world.”

“Oh but it shall my dear. Indeed it shall. For you see I am close, tantalizingly close, to rediscovering the lost powers of the alchemists!”

“Alchemists? Those charlatans who boasted of being able to turn water into wine and the like?”

“The very same. Though I do not intend to simply sweeten my water. My goal is the Silver-Spoon method.”

“Silver-Spoon?”

“Yes. Though it is not necessary to use spoons, they merely were the tools of choice at the time due to their abundance. The practice is more concerned with the purification of metals. Your common cutlery has a silver content of perhaps 1 in one thousand. The process would instead refine it into pure silver. I’m told any metal can be obtained with this. Hopefully even those we theorise can no longer exist in nature. To find a near-inexhaustible supply of these precious metals and their unique properties would open so many avenues for both myself and the world.”

“It sounds fascinating, except you are guaranteed to disrupt the balance through your actions.”

“The balance would readjust itself beneath me. I could provide anything to those willing to work with me. Rest assured, unless forced to act otherwise, benevolent uplifting would be my path.” A cloaked figure appeared at his side and spoke quietly in his ear.

“Ah, do excuse me my dear, I’m afraid I must deal with this.” He turned and pushed a button on the Dias. Far above, a distant clunk was heard, then cries of surprise, coming closer, until a hidden panel opened in the wall and two stallions shot out and landed in a heap on the floor. Dia Monti couldn’t believe her eyes.

“Whitefur!”

“Yes,” continued Truffle Shuffle,

“And Weightsson as well. You are so very prompt with your visits.”

“Professor?” Asked Whitefur, thoroughly confused.

“TRUFFLE SHUFFLE!” Roared Feathor, brandishing his axe.

“It is good to see you both again, however I caution you against rash actions. We wouldn’t want the Princess to come to harm now would we? I have promised her safety and I do not wish to break that promise.”

“The wench is no concern of mine, villain. Have at thee!” Weightsson charged forward.

“Oh dear. This will be trouble. Sunipu, Sunairusu?”

Feathor Weightsson had to halt his charge as several shuriken flew towards him from the side, which he deflected with his axe. Turning to face his new foe, he was very nearly decapitated from behind by a second cloaked figure brandishing razor shears that would have taken his head off, had he not ducked. Rolling away, the Viking faced both his shadowy assailants, axe raised, as they came at him again.

Off to the side, Whitefur was still facing the Professor.

“What’s this all about?”

“Oh, must I explain it again. I just finished telling the tale to her majesty.” Whitefur seemed to notice her for the first time.

“What’s Princess Ara doing here? Princess Ara, what are you doing here?” She rolled her eyes.

“Discussing the details of my wedding day,” she deadpanned,

“Does it matter? Get me out of here this instant!”

“What’s in it for me, Princess Pauper?”

“My dad’s loaded.” She retorted matter-of-factly. Shrugging, Whitefur unsheathed his cutlass.

“Works for me.” He moved towards her but, displaying impressive agility for a pony his size, Truffle Shuffle bounded in between them. The Professor produced a serrated blade and a trident from beneath his lab coat.

“I can’t let you do that, Whitefur. I need her father’s money.”

“Back of the line, Professor.”

The two met in a fierce clash of blade-on-blade.

<><><><><><>

“Thanks for coming Twilight. I think you’re my best chance of fixing this.”

Cheerilee and the violet unicorn surveyed the scene. The 5 colts and 1 filly were completely oblivious to anything around them, totally swept up into the comic storyline. Featherweight was defending himself against Snips and Snails, his ‘axe’ was a plastic spade fending off the weapons of the two unicorns, ‘razor shears’ (safety scissors) and shuriken (snails). On the other side, Pipsqueak’s ‘cutlass’ (squeaky foam sword) clashed with Truffle Shuffle’s ‘serrated blade and trident’ (knife and fork). The ‘Princess’ was shouting encouragement to ‘Whitefur’ from her suspension over a ‘churning sand sea’ (strung up from the monkey bars over the sandbox).

“Sooo…..the spell backfired then?” Cheerilee blinked in surprise.

“Spell? What spell?”

“Snips and Snails came by the library yesterday evening. They wanted to try a spell that would make them see the comic book play out in their imagination……and the imagination of 4 other ponies it seems. But it wasn’t supposed to make them like this.” The teacher mare just sighed.

“Snips and Snails are……overeager about their magic. What little they have only works maybe half of the time. This looks like the other half.”

“Mhm. Don’t worry, I was curious after the boys left and looked up the spell. I know how to turn it off. Better stand back though, I don’t want any stray magic messing you up.” Cheerilee nodded and stepped back a few paces. Twilight centred her balance and began the undo spell. She focused it through the original casters, Snips and Snails, piggybacking their magical connections to the others to spread the effect. There was another flash like the one that started it all but when it faded the 5 colts were standing there looking confused. Sunipu and Sunairusu might have been able to levitate their ‘weapons’ with ease but now that the two little colts’ minds had taken over, their floating objects crashed to the ground. Truffle, Pip and Featherweight were shaking their heads as if trying to clear water out of their ears. After a few moments, all five spoke at once.

“What the hay was that?”

Twilight and Cheerilee, satisfied that they were back to normal, just smiled and told the kids to start cleaning up their mess.

“Hey! Somepony get me down from here right now! This is not funny!”

<><><><><><>

Author’s note: This is a complete rewrite from the original idea for this chapter. I got maybe 600 words in and realised I didn’t like the premise at all. So I scrapped the entire thing for a rewrite which also had the effect of adding Truffle Shuffle. It’s a good thing.