Desperado’s V2, Chapter 10

A Cruel Joke (Part 2)

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Stable-Tec Co. Terminal

Welcome: Warm Fr0nt

• Entry 01

How low have I fallen! Me, an Enclave University graduate, top of my class! Now look at me, in some underground pit, paying off my debt to some mad mare. At least my talents are recognized, even if it's for growing this fucked up plant. Still, it is fascinating to think I'd get to continue my research on the mutated flora of the wasteland, and with more freedom than the Enclave ever let me have. Still, it does disturb me how easily my employer was able to procure the necessary material to grow this evil bramble. Something to remember if I ever try t9 get away.

• Entry 02

Doctor Citrus Bizzaria was brilliant, maybe almost as smart as I am. But her writing is god awful. A clear problem of the ponies from the wartime. Obsessive too, likely losing her mind at some point. But I was able to grasp how she was able to develop Cruel Joke, and it's so simple that I had to slap myself once it clicked in my mind. Grafting and cross pollination, along with feeding the plant just enough to keep it docile, but have it explode in growth. The only problem is finding fresh corpses to feed the plants, and testing them for changes. Fortunately for me, the damn dirt kickers set up shop just above me, and those idiots lose a pony a week. The shallow graves are easy to dig up, but getting to them befor the nightstalkers has been problematic. At least the plants have food, so my research goes on.

• Entry 03

More headaches as my employer demanded results. I told her that increasing flower growth isn't going to happen overnight. Just getting the plant to become a more efficient feeder had been the biggest problem. The flowers only grow when it has enough nutrition, but it relies on tangling corpses for that nutrition, which is inefficient. If I can fix this inefficiency, then growing more flowers will be easier.

My employer wasn't happy, but she seemed to understand, and sent me two old colleagues of mine to help, along with a pipbuck. When I asked why the pipbuck, she told me it was for another job she wanted me to do. As it turns out, the nearby mountain use to be an old gem mine, and it has some secrets the old Ministry's wanted locked away. If I can find an alternative entrance to the main mineshaft my employer would be able to give me even more support. Unfortunately, the locals of Amethyst Sands are also looking for this cash, so I need to be careful.

• Entry 04

Don't know why my employer has such a problem with the owner of Green Lake Farm, but it's easy to see that this Percussion Cap must give a lot of enemies. Of which it seems, is Golden Harvest, the owners of Tato Town above me. Golden Harvest might be a possible ally if I play my cards right, and a possible new employer once my current debt is paid. Never thought I'd say this, but it would be good to go back to working on cloud crops again.

• Entry 05

I finally made a breakthrough, though by a grotesk accident. When my colleagues and I were out scouting the mountain, one of the hics got into our lab. We could only usum he tried to steal our lab equipment, and broke open one of our test subjects. I assumed he did it intentionally to try and eat the cruel joke. Well when we found him, his form had been left entirely broken, yet alive. But more importantly, the cruel joke was growing and even flowering. It even let me nete it, not lashing out since it had a food source at the moment.

After picking the flowers and testing them, the chem content was only marginally stronger. We also identified the strain to be one crossed with a parasitic lichen. It was great news, and needed more study. So we kept the thief locked up and fed to see how the cruel joke continues to grow. Maybe get more live subjects to try and repeat this experiment.

Had a nightmare where the vines were in my flesh, using me like a puppet. I want to go home, I want this to end, but I can't. I tried to run away, but I found myself back here!

• Entry 06

I was able to negotiate with Tato Town's foreman to gain a few more test subjects. Waiting for another pony to just wander in isn't going to work, so having a pony sent down for medical aid wil, be a great benefit. That said, how we came to this deal has been… another low blow. Whoring myself to that perverted stallion just makes my skin crawl.

I've been feeling… unwell. Like the plants are under my skin. I know they are not, even tested myself for the cruel joke. But every night is a nightmare

• Entry 07

Fuck everything. I wasn't testing for it, but discovered that I'm pregnant. Now as the parasitic cruel joke is growing inside our test subjects, that stallion's parasite is growing in me. I also have nightmares every night now, the same one with blue thorny vines bursting from my skin. My coworkers too, though our work is important, hearing the screams of the test subjects every day has been mentally draining. We even tried cutting their tongues out and snipping their voice boxes, but the cruel joke just grew them back and the screaming continued.

• Entry 08

I think I'm getting used to all of this. I still hear the screaming even when I'm not in the lab, but the cruel tea helps dull the voices, even making my time with the forman feel not so bad. I still feel the vines under my skin and had to cut them out, but they're too fast.

At least my employer is pleased, but also disappointed. She wants me to work faster on finding a way into Amethyst Sands mine, and I can't disobey her. It's like she's in my head now. I don't even know how she got i to the lab to talk with me, but she was there,

Whay, why, why, why is everything violating me. The brambles in my skin, the dead are in my ears, the foramen is in my cunt, and the boss is in my head! Yes, I know boss, I'll get to working boss! Please don't hurt me boss!

• Entry 09

There's so many tunnels under the mountain, but I found it. I just had to follow the pink balloons. Thought I was crazy, seeing pink balloons underground and still floating. But they led me to the biggest balloon, and behind it was the mane mineshaft. But I can't get in, the balloon won't pop. Maybe if I use the vines? No… but maybe. The vines are already in my skin, so what harm would they do? But before that, I should see the forman, he's got this dress for me, and a collar, and chains.

Lately I haven't felt well, needing more of the tea. Hard to think right without it.

• Entry ***

It's burning, it's all burning. Fuck it all! Something happened to Tato Town above, and it caused the Forman and his hics to force their way down here. The bastard pretended to not know us or what was going on down here, and let his hicks destroy everything when they found the test subjects. Let them have their fun with us. But jokes on them, we already perfect the cruel joke strain, it's a part of us, and a part of them too. They're screaming now, even in my head they're screaming, and soon they will either die or join us.

• I still hear her voice

The boss, I know who my employer is now, she's the lady of thorns, she was always thorns! I just needed to embrace the thorns first. The formen rejected them and were punished for it, and I laughed, I laughed so hard. My lady of thorns was quite pleased, and has more work for me. I must help her spread, have them know her voice. All should hear her voice!

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I stepped away from the terminal, feeling disturbed by it. "That's fuck?"

"I know, right." Harp said in agreement. "And considering it's Blue Skies, the boss she's talking about must be Quicktrot Fragment. Which might also mean she was being possessed at some point."

"You're thinking that raider boss is Warm Front, ain't you?" I guessed.

Harp nodded. "Would fit. Quicktrot is able to possess ponies through the older pipbucks, of which that mare had."

"And the vines inside her body, it would be that parasitic cruel joke they developed down here." I added.

"Looks like it, which is a problem, as it means the cruel joke is mobile now." Harp added grimly.

I scratched at my own skin, now feeling utterly itchy. "Any chance I'm infected too?" I needed to ask.

Harp froze for a moment as her eyes went wide, then sighed with a chuckle. "Well fuck!"

"What?" I grabbed her pipbuck and saw her status. Under infections and diseases was something listed as the blue thorn. "You're infected!" Looking at my own pipbuck, I found that I was fortunately clean. "But I'm not."

Letting out a sigh of relief, Harp cracked a smile. "Maybe the poison joke cure works on it. But there's only one way to know for sure."

Trotting over to a desk with still intact lab equipment on it, Harp took a flask that was collecting a blue fluid. Mixing a bit of it in water, she then drank it.

"What about my son and I?" Rook asked

"If it works, you both will get some too. We have enough for everypony here." She informed us.

We all waited for several minutes as she watched her pipbuck. Worry crept up my spine, but as I saw a wide smile crossed Harps muzzle, I relaxed. She showed us that she was cured, then passed Fort and Rook the cure too.

After drinking the poison joke cure, Rook trotted to the lab equipment that was used to make it. "You think it might have spread to the town?"

"Actually, I was wondering why you never saw this before if the raiders were harassing Amethyst sands?" Harp asked the sheriff.

Rook shrugged, "truth be told, they never were that aggressive until recently. Most attacks were by those small groups who struck out on their own. We all thought that they were just staying in Tato Town until they ran out of food and chems, like most raiders."

Harp frowned. "Or they were waiting for their own infection to mature, and turn themselves into trotting bio bombs." She then tapped on her pipbuck.

Qest Start: A Cruel Fate

Kill Warm Front and destroy the cruel joke.

I had forgotten that we could do that.

Putting her pipbuck down, Harp then trotted to the terminal. "First off, we should take as much materials we can with us, and make more of the cure back in Amethyst Sands."

"Easier said than done." Rook huffed out. "Between the infected raiders and the cruel joke vines themselves, just getting out is a tall order."

"I agree, that's why other than decoding the messages, I was also looking for a map." After pressing a few buttons, the screen on the terminal flickered, and became a mess of green lines. "And as I had suspected, there's an alternative exit out of here, though I have a feeling that Warm Front has it guarded."

"So no change to our situation." I said with a sigh.

"She's going to call the smuggler to that exit." Rook then said, pointing at my pipbuck. "Not many ponies out here have two way radios, and none of them are raiders."

"That's right." Harp confirmed as the lines on the terminal moved. "The other exit is on the east side of Tato Town, outside its border. I'll send Slowtrot the quadrants, and we time it so that the raiders don't have time to counter attack."

"A sound plan, the last thing you need is them blowing out a tire, or getting a lucky shot at any of your heads." Rook added. "Though maybe we should gather a posse before taking the raiders directly."

But Harp shook her head. "No, if Warm Front thinks we might know about her condition, she might flee. We can't risk the raiders here getting away and coming into contact with innocent ponies. Best to be careful and kill them all and burn the corpses."

"Fair enough. Last thing we need is another blue plague, or raider sickness getting out." Rook said as she trotted over to a corner in which both her rifle and my SMG were propped up. "But I do hope you have a spare gun, as I'm rather dry."

Turning 9n my pipbuck raidio, I then suggested, "Slowtrot has his service rifle and a shotgun, so I'm sure if you ask nicely, he will lend you one."

"Well you just need to give me a good reason, and promise to give it back, but asking nicely works too." Slowtrot's voice came through my Radio. "So ya, whatever you got planned, I'll help however I can."

"Alright, then lets gear up and get ready, the sooner we do this the better." Harp said as she turned to Order. "Take us to the other exit oncevwere ready."

"Yes my Lady." Order said with a nod of its body.

Befor grabbing my gun and saddlebag, I took one more look at myself in the smashed mirror, seeing my face. Yet I could still see here. Setting Sun and I had the same face, the same shaped eyes, the same lips, and slightly larger fang. Wait… when did I have three sets of fangs?… I shook my head, as that didn't matter right now, nor did Setting Sun. My true mother is, and will always be Prism, the mare who loved me unlike her.

"You okay, miss Star?" Fort asked.

"No, not really." I admitted, "but it's nothing you need to be worried about. How about you?"

He shrugged. "Always had a feeling that my father was probably going to be a scumbag. Since grandmother liked him, I had a feeling something was wrong. What about you, did you know who your father wa?"

I sighed. "I only met him once, and it's one of the earliest memories I have. Actually I only just remembered it." I could remember the magical lens he gave me clearly now, and that Setting Sun had smashed it. "He… was given an impossible task, in which if he was successful, he would be rewarded greatly. Then he gave me a name and I never saw him again. Likely he's at the bottom of the ocean now, or he just found a better family and stayed with them."

"Oh… sorry for bringing it up." He apologized.

I again lightly jabbed him in the leg. "Don't be, it's not your fault for my life. Anyways, If I had a cap for every missing father in my life, I'd have two. Now let's get ready to move, can't just talk all day."

I watched as Fort then trotted over to his mother, the two being rather awkward with each other, but I could tell that they did genuinely cared for each other.

Looking back at the broken mirror, my own words resonating in my head. Two. Ya two missing fathers. Dead Reckoning was likely dead, but what ever happened to Skipper? Probably dead too. Would serve him right after running off on me like that after finding out I was pregnant. Dumb ass teenagers, that's what we were, but I had to live with it, and make the best of it.

Despite seeing Setting Sun's face on my own, I was nothing like her. I could at least love my daughter. I had to leave Bridget behind to protect her, no way she could come with me. But I still hate having to do it.

Tearing my eyes away from the reflection, I trotted over to my stuff, and making sure my guns were loaded and ready to kill.

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The horror show that was this underground bunker had one finale fuck you to present to us in the form of a bloody trail to the exit door. We could only guess it was one of Warm Front's victims, and we were unfortunately right.

A misshapen and cruel joke infested fat pony layed dead just at the exit. His back half and legs were made up of several mutilated male genitals. Where a few female genitalia grew on his front half, with one replacing his mouth. It was a grotesque sight of which Rook made sure Fort could not see, and when he complained, she told him, "You're not an adult just yet."

As Rook and I moved the magicly mutilated corpse to a nearby room, I then asked her, "you think this is the formen?"

"If the joke was for him to go and fuck himself, then ya." She said with a nod as we dumped the body unceremoniously. "Though it makes me feel you got lucky, being turned into your mother and all."

I shook my head. "No, not just my mother, but it turned me into an evil monster. It caused me to hurt my friend."

Rook looked at the formens corps for a moment. "Don't know what's worse, a joke that kills you, or one that makes you suffer. I wonder how long he lived like that, likely begging for death without a mouth to speak."

"Thank the Goddesses for Harp and Slowtrot in making that cure." I said, placing my hooves together out of an old habit now resurfacing.

Rook then did the same, praying. "May the Goddess of dreams continue to guide us along the righteous path, and may she protect us from the nightmares that seek to corrupt us in our sleep."

"May we be strong and true, for it is through weakness and lies in which evil finds its ways into our hearts." I prayed as well, the words both true to me, yet leaving a bitter taste in my mouth.

If Saint Roseland, the prophet of the Goddesses, is still alive as Slowtrot has told me, then I want to know how much of her words are lies and spite.

Quietly, we left the corps and joined the others at the door. Harp was on her pipbuck again, an ear held next to it .

"Almost their!" Pyrope's fuzzy voice came through the radio. "I see them now, several raiders waiting with traps. Do we engage?"

Harp looked back at us, and both Rook and I nodded. "Yes, we're ready."

With my Outlaw ready, I hugged up next to the door with Order hovering above me. The plan was simple; Order flies out first, eyes for traps, then if clear, I come out guns blazing. While keeping the raiders heads down, everypony else will run for the smuggler, then I'll follow.

The loud deep sounding cracks of the energy gun was our cue to open the door, in which Order zipped out. Several explosions followed him, and Harp then gave me the signal to go.

Jumping out to provide cover for the others, I pulled on the trigger of my Outlaw as soon as I saw a raider, nicking them as they dove for cover. A bullet whizzed by my head and I turned to fire at another raider, only to see the raider get caught up in the Smugglers counter attack, turning the bastard to ash. Returning my attention to the first raider, a spray of gunfire forced him back down.

"Star, let's go!" Harp yelled as she climbed aboard the Smuggler.

Strapping my Outlaw onto my back, I galloped to the smuggler, jumping onto the back as Pyrope provided me with covering fire.

As soon as I was on, the smuggler kicked dirt and rocks into the air as we then jolted forward. All while Pyrope continued to fire the Aeternus with reckless abandon, taking out the last raider that chased after us. Quickly Tato Town became smaller and smaller, and the safet I felt.

Once a safe distance away, we slowed to a stop, and I jumped off.

Slowtrot soon jumped out himself, running over with a med kit. "You and Harp okay? Anything you need."

"I'm fine, just need some food, that's all." I said before then shaking my hips a little, my torn up leotard flapping about. "Can't say the same for my clothes."

Slowtrot nodded. "Good thing you have spares then. I'll get your bag and some food."

As he trotted off, Fort trotted over, the jackalope still riding on his head as it watched Cavall suspiciously. "So, I guess your mom let you keep it." I said.

He resisted the urge to nod. "Ya, but she called him, emergency rations." The teenager said with a huff. "But are you really okay? Things were… you know, and now that where out… you know."

Slowtrot then dropped my bag near me, along with a box of food. "I'll go check on Harp and Miss Rook."

Once he left, I opened the bag to find my spare magazines and clothes. "Kid, that's a can of worms you're not ready to deal with." Removing my clothes, I then pulled out a spare leotard. It still felt a bit strange, but having it on felt better than having it off. Still, I was not going to start having underwear on all the time like Harp.

As I looped the leotard around one leg, I then caught Fort trying to not stare, blushing a little. "I don't mind if you look at me like that, but your mother might."

"S… sorry miss Star." He stammered. "I… I don't know whats w… wrong with me."

I rolled my eyes at me, fully knowing what was wrong. "It's called becoming a stallion. Anyways, are there any mares your own age back in Amethyst Sands?"

He blushed even more. "N..no. it's all adults there. Anyways, your not that old. I… I mean, big sis is ten years younger than her husband and all."

I remember Rook mentioning something about that. "Right, and she was fifteen at the time too."

Fort then looked nervous, glancing at me a few times. "Well… it's not uncommon in the clan. So would you be interested in… being… ya'know? "

"Oh, no kid! I'm flattered, but I may not be too old for you, but you're way too young for me." I flatly rejected the teenager.

His ears then drooped, looking hurt from my response.

Putting my clothes fully on, I trotted over to Fort and petted the jackalope on his head. "Hay, chin up. You're quite brave for asking, but trust me, you can do far better. Anyways, take it from a mare who's made mistakes, best if you wait a bit longer. Don't rush becoming an adult and all that shit. At the very least focus on helping your mother for a bit longer."

Though still dejected, Fort did seem to understand. "But if I was older, would I have a chance."

I let out a little laugh. "Maybe. I like my stallions a bit on the more rough side. Something you'll need to grow into. But by then I'm sure you'll find a mare that suits you better."

He thought about it for a moment and then sighed. "You're probably right. But thanks for being nice about it. I wasn't sure if you were going to find me… you know… wrong or something."

"Oh trust me, of all the ponies who've propositioned me, you're both the weirdest, and the least disgusting." I told him, and Fort looked at me with concern. "Oh don't give me that, I ain't no slut. Just worked at a job where it is a fairly common thing to deal with. Now, maybe you should go and have Slowtrot take a look at you, make sure your healthy."

Fort nodded and trotted away.

As I gave Cavall headpats and dug into the box to pull out a carrot to eat, Rook trotted up to me.

"Your family is a bit messed up, you know that." I said to her as I bit into the carrot.

She glanced over at her son and sighed. "Only a bit?"

"Okay, a lot of messed up." I clarified.

Rook nodded as she then looked at me in the eyes. "It's how we survive for over two hundred years in the biggest shithole of the wasteland. It's going to take a long time to fix those problems."

"Staring with raising your age of adulthood." I commented.

But Rook shrugged. "Maybe, but we have so many problems it's hard to pick which is the worst. At least he has a better chance out here then with the clan."

I raised an eyebrow at hrr. "So, if I said yes to him, you wouldn't have a problem?"

"By Luna yes I'd have a problem! I mean… Maybe… or… ya I don't even know myself." Rook then spat on the ground, disgust on her face. "Damnit, I'm the worst pony to ask that of. Back when the radiation was still around, the only thing the clan had of any value was our own bodies. There was no guarantee we would live long, so it was expected of us to start having foals when we could. Half of the reason they even let us mares leave to be mercenaries was to find stallions not of our blood to breed with. By the time we could leave, we'd been fully trained on how to fuck by the elders. It took a long time for me to even understand that something about that was so very wrong."

A picture was starting to form in my head, and I didn't like it. "So, then, Fort?"

"No, he's… untouched." She said a calm coming back to her. "The clan has its problems, but they at least wait until they consider us an adult before making us… an adult." She then took a deep breath, taking a moment before continuing. "It's… not as bad as it sounds, considering the alternative, and where we lived. That's also keeping in mind that most of us die young. Ponies like myself and my mother are rare. Living long enough to grow wize to everything, then deciding to keep it going or wander out into the wasteland to die. My mother chose the former, and I chose the latter."

I let out a huff, half out of annoyance and half out of understanding. "I think I understand that a little. I was born on the Blackwater you see, two super massive coal hullers welded together to make a floating city. You can imagine the lack of options anypony had in such a place. For me, it was to join another ship as a disposable deckhoof, or follow Setting Sun's example and become a whore. Probably would have been a whore either way if she hadn't abandoned me. Fuck, I was close to being one back in New Appaloosa if mom hadn't absolutely forbidden it. I mean, I needed the caps after my Bridget was born, but I trusted mom's judgment more."

"You mean this Setting Sun?" Rook asked me.

"Fuck no!" I quickly responded. "Mom's the mare who saved me, took me away from the life I had and gave me a new one… Prism Paint is her name. She was lost, confused, and hated herself. Yet she wouldn't let a corrupted and savage filly like me alone. And it's my fault she's not here anymore. I'm sure she'll be disappointed with me, with how I left my filly behind."

Rook's stony exterior seemed to soften just a little. "She sounds like she was a swell mare. And I doubt she's any part disappointed in you. I mean, I may not have been able to be a mother to most of my children, but it doesn't mean I don't love them. I know that the reason Keep ran off with that merchant was so that she wouldn't have to apprentice under me. But I never thought less of her for it. Same for all my children, ahd I'm sure your mother thinks the same way, even from the other side of the river styx."

"Maybe." I said unsurly. "But what if my Bridget comes to hate me?"

"Will you hate her?" She then asked.

"No, never!" I answered.

"Did you leave her with bad ponies?" She further probed.

"The Gunrunners actually, she's the current head smith's niece. Longside is a good griff, and she gets along with her cousins. I know that if anypony comes to even try and harm Bridget, the Gunrunners will fight to the death to protect her." I explained with a smile on my muzzle.

Just thinking about them made me miss those griffin's terribly. Gyrojet and I never quite saw eye to eye, but we both understood that we loved our children and she never once called me out for being an exotic dancer. Longside would, but our personalities had always clashed.

"So… then what's your damn problem! You just need to finish up whatever business you got, and then go get your filly." Rook sternly told me.

"My problem, my problem is that I've become Setting Sun, a whore who abandoned her daughter!" I growled.

"Meaning what? You don't plan on ever seeing your daughter ever again, and instead will live a life of debotary?" Asked Rook.

Stomping my hoof on the ground, I got muzzle to muzzle with Rook. "Of cores fucking not! Once I've avenged Prism, I will return to her."

I expect Rook to then say something, anything, but she just stared me down. Stone faced and with eyes that seen too much, I was left to only hear my own words bounce around in my head.

I left Bridget with those I trust, with a family that loved her. Where I was left with nothing but a name. I plan on returning to her, no matter how long it takes, but Setting Sun, I was only a burden to her. Ya I fucked around, but how could I have known Prism was in danger, I should have known, I should have gone to her as soon as I could. But not once did Prism blame me. She was overjoyed to see me, to have me hold her, even though she was in so much pain.

Bridget and I were there for her as she slipped away, and that smile, she died smiling because I was there. I killed her and she was happy for it. There was so much I wanted to do with her, to show her, but because of me it will never happen.

Yet not once did she hate me.

I took a step back and breathed in deep. "Once I know for sure the ponies who threaten my daughter are cut down, I will return to her. I'll never be like Setting Sun. No, I'll be like Prism Paint, and shower my Bridget with all my love once I see her again."

"Then do you still have a fucking problem?" Rook sternly asked me.

"Well I got some asshole raiders delaying me, so that's a problem I got." I said with a smirk.

Rook smirked back. "Then let's put those raiders down."

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