Author's Note

Not gonna lie, there is some cum drinking in this chapter.

5. Cream, hold the cookies

Pinkie Pie hummed a happy tune as she pranced through the halls of Canterlot Castle. When she was a filly, this huge building had been a frightening, faraway fortress, the home of the all powerful Princess Celestia. But now it was just the house where her cool friend Twilight lived! Pinkie knew the palace like the back of her hoof. She’d been here on sleepovers, been covered with awards and medals in fancy ceremonies, planned the entire Grand Galloping Gala once, even had sex with Cheese Sandwich in the guest bedroom! (And the kitchen, and the moat...)

The best part was that the Royal Guard let her snoop wherever she wanted. No part of the castle was off limits to Pinkie Pie, one of the top ten heroes of Equestria! All the guards bowed to her when she sproinged past, even the cute guys!

Yet for some reason the guards at Twilight’s throne room wouldn’t let her in, even when she batted her eyelashes, flirted with them, deep throated their cocks and swallowed their cum! Even as their satisfied dongs sheathed, these epic grumpypants frowned at her, silently crossed their spears and blocked her way.

Pinkie slinked away unhappily. Had she really become such a chubster that she couldn’t wrap stallions around her hoof anymore? Well, she’d just have to use the secret entrance to the throne room! Yeah! That’d show ’em!

Maybe she should have used the secret entrance to begin with, Pinkie mused guiltily as she sneaked from pillar to pillar towards the hidden passage. But those guards were so big and muscular, such a nice change from her skinny coltfriend... and their dicks smelled great! You couldn’t blame a girl from getting a wandering mouth after a whole month without her special somepony! She’d make it up to Cheese once he came back from Yakyakistan — Pinkie Promise!

Pinkie struggled through the secret passage and barely managed to pull her plus sized plot through the trapdoor at the back of the throne room. The frantic grunting sounds of her struggle were drowned out by even louder grunting sounds coming from Princess Twilight Sparkle. Pinkie peeked from behind Twilight’s throne and saw a unicorn stallion hugging her friend from behind, guiding her magical aura with his own. Neat, he was probably teaching her some nerdy new spell or something!

“Hi, Twilight!” Pinkie shouted cheerfully, hopping out from behind the throne with a spray of confetti.

“OH, SHIT! I mean, h-hi, Pinkie!” Twilight quickly shooed the stallion away from her and looked embarrassed. “You can go now, professor. We’ll continue your experiment tonight.”

“B-but Princess, I didn’t finish...”

“You can go now.”

The well built stallion glared angrily at Pinkie as he bowed and backed out of Twilight’s throne room with a bowlegged gait. “Geeze, what’s with that guy?” Pinkie mused once the heavy doors had closed.

Twilight smiled like a schoolfilly with a crush on the teacher. “Professor Poundflanks has a brilliant mind,” she gushed, “but he hates being interrupted while he’s hard at work.”

“Ooh, kinda like Rarity! Or Mr. Cake! Or you!”

“All very good examples. Now, what can I do for you, Pinkie? Our next Council of Friendship meeting isn’t for another two weeks.”

“I know you’re super busy ruling Equestria, Twilight, so I’ll get right to the point: I need a whole bunch of stallion cum!”

Twilight winced. “Of course you do.”

“Not just ‘I know a guy who shoots a lot!’ I’m talking about buckets of the good stuff!”

“Do I want to know why?”

“I’m doing the Griffonstone Diet, and cum’s the only thing that fills me up!”

“Phew!” Twilight sat back in her throne and relaxed. “That’s not nearly as bad as I thought.”

“And I thought, who’s the jizz-drenchiest hoe I know? And the answer was you, Twilight!”

Twilight groaned. “Thanks, I guess, but reproductive fluid is hardly my area. You should talk to Cadance — wait, actually, I can help you!”

“Woohoo! You’re the best, old buddy! Hit me with that yummy nut!”

Twilight lit up her horn and summoned a large cup into the throne room, hovering it between herself and Pinkie. The beautiful cup was made of the purest silver, and shone with thousands of tiny white pearls and glittering diamonds.

“This is the Chalice of Life,” Twilight explained.

“Ooh-ooh-ooh! Is it a mystical artifact a bazillion years old from the dawn of Equestria?”

“More like fifteen years old. It was Cadance’s ascension project.”

“Almost as good!”

“I’ve sent it back to her over and over, but somehow it keeps showing up again in my royal bathroom. That scrawny pink bitch thinks she’s so funny...”

“What’s it do? What’s it do?” Pinkie pranced excitedly around the hovering chalice, her body bouncing wildly in all directions. “Mmm, it smells like stallion sauce!”

“There’s a very good reason for that. Whenever a stallion masturbates, anywhere in Equestria, there’s a chance his sperm will be magically sent into the Chalice of Life instead of ruining a tissue. The magic deactivates once the chalice is full, so it doesn’t flood my bathroom. To put it in laypony terms, it’s a cup that’s always full of cum — exactly what you need for your diet!”

“Wowie wow wow WOW!” Pinkie jumped into the air and dove head first into the Chalice of Life. Her muzzle filled the wide bowl of the cup, and the hungry party pony began to slurp the accumulated cum of hundreds of anonymous stallions as Twilight struggled to hold the Chalice aloft.

Pinkie quickly gulped down the contents of the chalice and licked the bowl. “Mmm, this is PERFECT!” she squealed. “I barely feel hungry at all now! A couple more like that, and I’ll be all set for lunch! Thanks a SQUILLION, Twilight!”

“Not so loud, please.” Twilight gently hovered Pinkie and the Chalice to the ground and put a hoof against her forehead. “I’m extremely sexually frustrated at the moment, and it’s put me in a bad mood.”

“Ooh, I can help with that!” Pinkie squealed, hopping off of the priceless artifact and licking the cum moustache from her face. “I’m a hot bi babe now!”

Twilight closed her eyes and took a deep breath. “Pinkie, I’m straight.”

“I can help with that, too!”

“That’s not how it works.”

“Worked for me!” Pinkie countered.

“You were psychologically repressed by your fundamentalist parents. I’m actually heterosexual! I’m very happy that you’ve finally gotten in touch with your true feelings, but I really am only interested in stallions!”

Pinkie giggled. “Isn’t this where they cut to us in bed together?”

“Huh?”

“Nailed it!” Pinkie rolled over in the guest bed and kissed her friend on the cheek. “You were great, Twilight!”

Twilight pulled the sheets down over her barrel and blinked with confusion. Through the window, the moon shone silently in the dark sky of Canterlot. “Pinkie, what in the fuck just happened?”

Pinkie waggled her eyebrows. “I blew your mind, ya royal hottie.” She reached for her nightstand and gulped down another hefty draught of cum from the Chalice of Life.

“This is utterly bizarre,” Twilight mused, “but I must admit I haven’t been this relaxed since I became a princess. Pinkie, you’ve shown me pleasures I never thought were possible!”

“Same to you! Wanna go for round five?”

“Five?” Twilight blurted out with shock.

“Maybe six! I lost count when you put your hornamajig in my winker!”

Twilight tenderly nuzzled Pinkie’s chest floof. “However many it was, I’d love to spend more time with you, but I need to check on Professor Poundflanks. I did promise I’d see him tonight. We’ll catch up at breakfast, alright?”

“Breakfast with you? I wouldn’t miss it! Hey, is there any way to make this chalice thingy get full faster?” Pinkie reached into the Chalice of Life, scraped out a few new strings of cum, and sucked her hoof clean. “I’m super duper hungry from all that girl boinking we did during the scene break!”

Twilight yawned and climbed out of her friend’s bed. “It’s the middle of the night. There just aren’t many stallions clopping off right now. You’ll get more than you need in a few hours, as everypony deals with their morning wood.”

“Awww!” Pinkie pouted. “Wait, I got the best idea! You know how there used to be a Mare in the Moon? What if you drew a butt on the moon? Then stallions would wake up, see the Butt in the Moon and they’d want to clop!”

“Yeah, sure, Pinkie.” Twilight rolled her eyes with a groan. “First thing in the morning, I’ll commission a study of modifying the surface of the moon to encourage nocturnal male masturbation.”

“Thanks!” Pinkie leaned over and kissed her favourite princess right on that hot little cutie mark. “You’re a good friend, Twilight!”

Waking up with the sunrise after a night of sapphic passion, Pinkie finally understood how Applejack and Rainbow Dash made their marriage work. In fact, she was sure she could give her friends a few tips. When it came to fitting two cute pony girls in a bed built for just one, Pinkie Pie was now a bona fide expert! Had AJ and Dashie ever thought about using toys on each other, or licking each others’ pussies at the same time? Pinkie thought not!

But that didn’t mean horny lesbian thoughts had completely pushed the handsome Cheese Sandwich out of Pinkie’s mind! Nope, this hot bi babe was determined to give her coltfriend the banging of a lifetime tomorrow morning... which would hopefully distract him from all the banging she’d done without him over the past week. Some of it might look a teensy bit like cheating, to somepony who didn’t know the context. And she wasn’t done yet! To finish her diet Griffonstone strong, Pinkie needed to start Friday off by drinking one morning load after another from a bunch of guys she didn’t know!

The Chalice of Life filled as quickly as Pinkie could empty it, and each cupful was a different mix of stallions from all across Equestria. Some of the cum was watery, some was thick, some was sweet and some tasted kinda gamy. Each and every gulp was a fun surprise in its mixture of flavours and textures. She drank down the very first load of a stallion who’d just turned 18, the cum of an elderly widower who honoured his wife’s memory every morning, and everything in between. All of it went into Pinkie’s belly, and all of it was a wonderful and appreciated gift.

But the one load Pinkie never tasted was the one she needed the most. Cheese Sandwich knew better than to waste his cum clopping off to some Yakyakistan pinup girl! Soon enough he’d be back in Ponyville and injecting a month’s worth of pent up nut soup directly into Pinkie’s private reserve, “Cheese only” orifices!

Pinkie crossed her hooves as she drank down the cum of lesser stallions, praying that they’d help her lose enough weight and she wouldn’t disappoint her lover with a dress that didn’t make her true feelings known. Instead of her fuck-me dress, Pinkie might have to dig out her “let’s just make out” dress, or her “OK, but no anal” dress! Ugh, those dresses sucked!

Pinkie waddled down the hall to her meeting with Twilight, sipping from the Chalice as she did. An occasional burp gave her pause, as did the rumbling of an uneasy stomach forced for nearly a week to work on pure semen instead of the constant stream of sugar it was used to. But Pinkie was determined, and her cranky tummy was just going to have to deal! She kept gulping mouthfuls of that warm and tangy “milkshake,” focusing her thoughts on Cheese’s handsome face, picturing his eyes bulging out as his marefriend seductively brushed up against him in her perfectly fitting fuck-me dress. Pinkie felt her lips grow squishy and wet as she imagined herself slipping into that dress, the sheer silky fabric sliding smoothly and easily over her trim (but not too trim) rump, ready and eager to accept Cheese any which way he wanted to take her!

Finally Pinkie entered the grand breakfast room and saw Twilight Sparkle sitting at the golden table in her housecoat, digging in to a stack of pancakes covered with syrup and chocolate chips. A platter of steaming hot asparagus in a cheesy sauce sat at the opposite end of the table.

“Good morning, Pinkie!~” Twilight grinned behind her monstrous stack of pancakes. “I hope you slept well.”

Pinkie beamed cheerfully. “Sure did! I clopped off twice after you left!”

“Amazing!” Twilight picked up a quill with her magic and quickly took notes. “Now that we’re lovers, I find your total lack of personal boundaries arousing rather than embarrassing! Anyways, I had the kitchens prepare you a healthy breakfast compatible with the Griffonstone Diet, and I can take the Chalice back before you head off to Ponyville.”

“Don’t you dare!” Pinkie held the cup protectively to her barrel and licked the inside. Twilight gawked over her pancakes at her friend’s rounded, sloshing body. “Holy cow, Pinkie, how much cum did you drink?”

“I dunno, how much is there?”

“There’s oceans! Do you know any stallions? My brother could fill the Chalice every day, all by himself! Have you ever wondered why all of Equestria’s heroes are mares? It’s because we can control ourselves! We don’t get horny and distracted looking at a huge changeling ass!”

“Speak for yourself! King Thorax can get it any day!” Pinkie plopped her plot down on her chair and shook the Chalice over her breakfast like a pepper grinder, flinging streamers of thick, silvery liquid over the asparagus.

“No big deal, but that sauce takes three hours to make,” Twilight muttered. “I’ll tell the chef he should have rubbed one out on your breakfast instead.”

Pinkie sniffed the fancy china plate. “Nah, I like the sauce, too!” she assured her friend. “It’s aromarific!” With a single swipe of her tongue she pulled everything off of the plate and swallowed it down. “Mmm, and tastiful!” Pinkie patted her tummy and licked the plate clean. “Well, I’d better catch the train back to Ponyville. Thanks a bunch for the Chalice of Jizz, Twilight! You’re a real pal!”

Twilight groaned. “Oh my gosh, Pinkie, give the Chalice back. You can’t take one of Equestria’s most powerful artifacts home with you. I only let you borrow it to teach you a lesson.”

“Huh? What lesson?”

“You always take a good thing too far! Sure, it’s fun to make Profess—a hot guy cum in your mouth, even taking a facial can be sexy, but come on, Pinkie! I gave you more cum than you could possibly drink, so you’d learn to be careful what you ask for!”

“But I was careful! And now I carefully want more spunk!” Pinkie turned the Chalice upside down and let three fresh streams of semen spurt directly onto her waggling tongue, shooting right out of three horny stallions who’d never have dreamed their seed was feeding the cute heroine they’d all fantasized about. “See? I’d never waste any of this precious guy goo! Let me keep the magic cup, pleeease?”

Twilight grumbled. “I hate encouraging your gluttony, but there is some scientific evidence for the Griffonstone Diet, and it would let me get rid of that disgusting thing... all right, Pinkie, you can keep the Chalice. Just take care of it, and please don’t tell Cadance.”

“No way! You can count on me, Twilight! I can keep a secret for up to four days!” Pinkie happily sproinged out of the palace, holding the sperm-dribbling Chalice carefully in her mouth.

“What a fucking mess, literally.” Twilight sighed, then smiled cheerfully. “Still, Pinkie never fails to teach me something new about myself!” The ruler of Equestria picked up her quill and started to compose a letter.

Dear Cadance,

On second thought, I would love for you to “strap one on and take me to pound town.” Does Tuesday work for you?

With deepest affection,
Twilight

PS: if you get a weird letter from Pinkie, just ignore it.