"Star... what's wrong?" My better half meekly asked me. It was a question uttered far too often in the present world, right up there along with are you okay? and how are you doing?. The lavender alicorn's eyes were filled to the brim with worry. I silently cursed myself for making her feel something horrible like that. We had been getting the OR ready for Rainbow's procedure when my love must've noticed my irregular demeanor and decided to break the silence that had filled the room.

"I'm just... " I really didn't know what to say to her. We were two hours away from the operation and I still couldn't shake the horrible feeling of... uncertainty that had gripped me. Originally, I'd wanted nothing more than for Twilight to trust me and my invention, but even so, I knew just how risky doing something like this could be. I knew just how much it could change everything.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

After Twilight had come up with so many different kinds of technology to aid in our recovery, I'd felt... obligated to create something beneficial on my own. It's not that I hadn't helped her with everything she'd done along the way, but I knew after learning so much with her I could create something truly unique using my own hooves.

It was a long time coming. I'd worked alone for years, hoping to surprise Twilight with the expertise I'd gained from her guidance. After all those years of application, I'd finally gotten to a place where I was at least somewhat confident we could move forward with my invention. It was a new material completely composed of light, if you can believe that. I called it Hard-light. By weaving light into itself millions of times over, I discovered how to transform an intangible element into a physical form. Using my methods, I was initially able to construct almost anything I could think up with the material.

It'd been particularly difficult to work on, especially with our greatest source of light being lost to us. Along with aiding Twilight in her endeavors, I'd been able to work at my own invention in secret, using various small sources of light. Fire, electricity, and even the rays of light from Luna's moon were all invaluable sources, the former Princess of the Night's heavenly body a seemingly inexhaustible one.

Using a mixture of Twilight's blueprints for other technology as guides, I was able to draw up and begin testing my own new tech. After an endless amount of trial and error, I'd managed to create a simple test sheet of the material. Depending on what light source was used, the material itself would take on the shade of the light used to create it, giving it many possible different hues. That was not really pertinent to its uses, but it was a nifty fact regardless.

Upon completion, I first tested the durability of the Hard-light. Amazingly enough, it was so strong it could withstand any form of blunt force trauma I threw at it. Even the most powerful explosions I could produce were unable to put a single scratch on it.

On top of such unheard of durability, it was so light it weighed virtually nothing. Further into my research, I was able to meld its former qualities with its more tangible ones. From a constructed device, I could produce the light, have it perform its purpose, say as a shield, and then have it retract into said device.

It was a miracle, an invention that defied the very physics and reason of our world. I guess that's why Twilight had objected so adamantly to it when I first revealed it to her.

It broke my heart that so much of my hard work was being frowned upon, work that I'd done for the sole purpose of making Equestria a better place, but a lot of what she'd said made sense. Something like Hard-light was capable of altering our reality itself, as far as what was possible for ponykind. The degree of change it could bring to our world was monumental... for better or for worse.

Naturally, I'd agreed with her when she'd said we should sweep it all under the rug.

It... hurt.

A lot.

All of my work and effort was going to get thrown down the drain, but I'm pretty sure I'd discovered something best left in the shadows. Despite my decision to go along with Twilight and bury it, I still really wanted her to trust me... I still... thought it could help.

Regardless, we completely abandoned my Hard-light and everything having to do with it, hiding away all the research and development I'd painstakingly accomplished. It was just way too dangerous... that is, until now.

Rainbow Dash's wings had been completely obliterated in the battle with Moondancer. All that remained, not only of the mods we'd implanted in them, but her once proud pegasus heritage, were bloody stumps. The modifications we'd installed were too deeply ingrained in her skeletal system, so when that raider's bomb went off, it tore through everything like a hot knife through butter. The damage done was so severe she'd essentially become an earth pony.

But with Hard-light... with Hard-light we could create a whole new system of light for her wings. Then, after doing so, we could build into that foundation with more Hard-light. In the end, she might end up looking a little strange, but I was confident it would work, and that's what really mattered.

The problem I was having with moving forward with the implementation of the Hard-light was the various gambles we'd be forced to make. First of all, there was the very real possibility that Rainbow could become a paraplegic, or worse, from the surgery alone. My Hard-light was completely untested in many crucial environments, one in particular being the internals of a pony's body. It's not like I was some kind of mad scientist that had access to a bunch of cadavers for experimentation, so that variable had gone completely untested.

As such, I had no clue what the short-term effects of exposure to the innards my Hard-light might have, much less the long-term ones. What if something crazy happened and the Hard-light broke down within her body after a time? What if it did something like seep into her blood and contaminate it? What if it corrupted her mind and turned her into some sort of crazy zombie monster?

Okay, sure, I didn't expect something like that last one to happen, and I was almost certain it wouldn't, but life had a way of biting you in the flank when you least expected it. Along with the whole, 'could possibly turn Rainbow Dash into a vegetable, a zombie, or just outright kill her', thing, came a second very... concerning issue.

Rainbow Dash had always been the most headstrong, brash, and cocky pony of our friendship circle, even before she'd ever been modded... even before the Loss, if I was being completely honest. By my calculations, If we were to give her Hard-light wings she'd... pretty much be unstoppable.

With the old tech, I could hack her entire system at a moment's notice, if I was ever put in a position where I had to. Even Rarity could put a stop to her if need be, considering the pegasus was covered in steel. Hard-light was beyond anything we'd created up to now, though. We'd have no way to bring her down if she got too heated. She'd have free rein to operate however she saw fit... and that didn't sound good, at least not to me.

Don't get me wrong, it's not like I was worried about her turning on us or anything like that. She's the element of loyalty for Pete's sake. It was more along the lines of, if she ever got herself into a bad spot she'd put her life at risk without hesitation, even if she didn't need to. In such an awful situation, with Hard-light wings, we'd be unable to do anything but stand by and watch from the sidelines. I'm more than certain none of us would want that.

Another big problem came about with the future of Hard-light itself if we made the decision to let the technology out of the bag. Currently, almost all of the tech we'd developed was spreading despite our best efforts to stop that from happening. Even with all the precautions we'd taken, various mods and the like had somehow been passed far beyond the walls of Ponyville. Rainbow's constant battles were evidence enough of that.

If something like Hard-light got into the wrong creature's possession... Sure we only wanted to use it to give Rainbow her wings back, but theoretically, it could be used to create anything... including weapons far more powerful than anything we'd created thus far.

I'd been so very happy when Twilight consented to using my invention to help Rainbow, but now... now after thinking about it, I wasn't so sure. Talking to the cyan pegasus hadn't allayed any of my fears either. She'd never been the most honest mare and I knew all her promises of following Twilight's orders no matter what would go flying out the window the second one of her friends was put in any danger.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

"Scared," my head sank. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't lie to her. She was everything to me and I trusted her more than I did anyone I'd ever known. My confession drew her full attention as she stopped prepping one of the machines she was working on to trot over to me.

"Of what, Star?" she dipped her head lower to look me in the face. "You know you can tell me anything."

"Is this..." I sighed, unable to conceal my uncertainty any further. It was a struggle just to meet her gaze. "Is this really okay, Twilight?"

"What do you mean?" she kept her head craned downward.

"What if..." I managed to finally look her in the face, trying to hide some of my more... undesired emotions. I rubbed my face with a hoof. "What if we were supposed to lose our magic back then? What if we flew too close to the sun and we were punished for it? What if we're doing the same thing right now and..."

She looked at me with a distinct look of confusion on her face. "I'm... not really sure what you're getting at, Starlight."

"What if this is the first step toward another Loss, Twilight?" I tried not to become hysterical, but I could feel the panic rising inside of me. "We've pretty much been playing god with our little experiments for the past few years. What if... what if-"

"That's..." It was Twilight's turn to let out a troubled sigh. "Honestly... that's something that has bothered me since we started all of this, too." She walked over to one of the chairs in the room and took a seat. "Things were so much more simple when Celestia and Luna were running things, weren't they?" she rubbed her face with her hooves, a long yawn escaping her muzzle.

"Are we... are we the problem, Twilight?" It was a tough question, but I had to know what she thought.

"We, me and you, we, ponies in general, we, scientists... you have to be a heck of a lot more specific than that, Star." It was easy to see she didn't enjoy this particular subject either, but I still felt a strong compulsion to continue.

"Before, when I tried to get you back for what you'd done to me with... when I used Starswirl's spell, I mean," to ease her nerves I decided to focus the blame on myself... though I suppose I really did still feel like this was all my fault so... "I almost plunged Equestria into the bleakest future it could've possibly had..." I chuckled, this whole stupid situation too ironic. "I guess I got a second chance and succeeded anyway, huh?"

"Star," she groaned. "You know for a fact none of this is your fault." She gave me that sweet look tinged with anger that she got when she was chastising me as if I were a young filly. "And you know how badly it hurts me when you blame yourself. We've all told you time and time again, this is all because of Cozy and her stupid little schemes."

"But... don't you think about it, Twilight?"

"Think about what, Star?" she was getting really annoyed, but I felt like I had to talk to someone about this or it would haunt me forever.

"What your life would've been like if Celestia had never turned you into an alicorn."

"WHAT?!" her face screwed up in annoyance.

"What it would've been like if you'd never become the Princess of Friendship."

What it would've been like if you had never opened the School of Friendship. What it would've been like if I never messed everything up for all of us...

"Starlight," she scoffed at my question. "You're asking me if I've ever thought what my life would be like if the single best thing to ever happen to me, hadn't?" She wasn't just annoyed anymore, she was angry with me, her exhausted eyes now narrowed to slits.

"I mean, becoming a princess is pret-"

"STARLIGHT GLIMMER!" She was in my face in a second, her blazing eyes full of rage. "You honestly believe THAT was the best thing that has ever happened to me?"

"Wh-what could possibly outshine that, honey?" I tried to lay the sugar on thick to calm her down a bit, but it only drew wide, disbelieving eyes to her face.

"DON'T YOU DARE HONEY ME RIGHT NOW, STARLIGHT!" she pressed her nose against mine, her eyes narrowing yet again.

"O-of course, de- Tw-Twilight." I was not about to try anything other than agree with her at this point. Not when she was this pissed off. After staring into each other's eyes for way too long, she let out an angry huff before turning away from me.

"Starlight..." she spoke after several more minutes of silence, her voice now as gentle as a soft breeze. "becoming a princess is what led me to the single best thing that ever happened to me," she turned and looked at me with such a loving expression my heart nearly stopped. "Meeting you." Her smile... Her love...

How had I ever been so blessed?

"I love you, Starlight." Yes, my tears were definitely about to start flowing now. "I love you more than you could ever possibly know and I can't even fathom what my life would be like without you in it."

"Twilight..." I wanted to go to her, to embrace her, to kiss her, but as I took a step toward her, she gently shook her head. The smile, her smile... I'd misinterpreted it, misunderstood, but I could see now.

How could I have been so stupid?

It hadn't been love. It was pure agony.

"Why can't I make you see?" her eyes were trembling, fearful as they began to fill with tears. "Starlight... it's been so long. W-we've been together f-for so long... Why can't y-you... why can't you see?" I rushed to her side, catching her as she collapsed to the floor, but she tried to fight me off, shoving hard at me with her forelegs.

"NO! LEAVE ME ALONE! I DON'T- I DON'T..."

I'm such an idiot...

As her resistance crumbled she trembled more and more. Each sob that racked her body felt like the blade of a knife being dragged across my heart, creating bloody incisions that would never heal. I held her as close as possible, unable to open my stupid mouth to comfort her. When she spoke again I could still detect a hint of anger in her voice, but it was far more subdued than before.

"I get that you're scared, Starlight." Her grief seemed to be completely gone. "I can even understand your reservations about using your Hard-light in a world like this one," she sighed. "What I can't understand is how you could still blame yourself for everything that's happened."

"Twilight, I-"

"No, Starlight," the hoof she shoved into my belly was firm enough to draw a groan of pain from me. "I'm talking right now." I shut my mouth. "We're all scared, but we're all fighting. You think Rainbow wasn't terrified of going out there and fighting those thugs for us?"

"Of course n-"

"STARLIGHT!" I zipped my lips. Her fierce assertiveness more than welcome. Honestly, I found it incredibly attarctive when she was like this, but I buried that unnecessary feeling away for another time. "It makes no difference if we're scared. What really matters is that, no matter what happens, we continue to take care of each other." She grew quiet, but I could tell she was only taking some time to sort her thoughts out.

"I don't care about fate or god or why we might've been punished like this. I only care about what I can change, and right now that's my friend's future." She roughly pushed me away, getting up and walking back to the machine she'd been working on before and leaving me alone on the floor. "I couldn't care less if another Loss is coming. If it does, then I'll just keep doing what I know is right, and that means taking care of my friends... my family."

I stood to my hooves, her resolve making me feel utterly pathetic as I tried to decide what to do next. "I'm... I'm sorry, Twilight." I'd hurt her, again. I had no right to even be in the same room as such a perfect mare.

She took a deep breath. "You know what frustrates me the most?" She didn't turn to look at me, but I could tell by her tone that it was a rhetorical question. "Even after all this time, after all we've endured together, after... I've opened myself up to you in every way I know how," she turned to face me, a deep crimson blush on her face. "Even after we've made love so many times, I'm pretty sure we both know every inch of each other's bodies better than our own, you still..."

A blush came to my cheeks, but the more important point she was making hit much harder than my embarrassment could ever be. "I still don't understand how much you really love me," I sighed as my head fell.

There'd only been a few creatures in my life that I could say with some degree of certainty that I had truly special feelings for.

Sunburst had been my friend for the longest time, even if our relationship had fallen off after he'd gotten his cutie mark. It was great getting to know him again and rekindling our foalhood friendship, but he was just that, a really good friend.

If he ever needed my help I'd move mountains to do what I could for him, but It's not like he ever made my heart flutter or my knees tremble. He was a good stallion. Hopefully, he was still a good stallion.

Then there was Maud, Pinkie Pie's older sister. She was an absolute delight and nothing like any other creature I'd ever met. Thankfully, immediately after the Loss, Pinkie had somehow managed to get her family to Ponyville. I'm still not sure how she did so or even how she'd convinced her "stuck in their ways" parents to leave their rock farm, but she'd done it.

The Pie family was whole and unharmed and that helped with the sanity of... most of the Pies. To this day, Maud was still very special to me, but I'd never held any romantic feelings for the mare.

Then there was Trixie. What could I say about the Great and Powerful Trixie? She was the first real friend I'd made after my... rehabilitation. The mare had a really good heart, but boy did that mouth of hers never stop running.

While I had to admit, in the looks department, she was a perfect ten, she still had that massive ego of hers, and I'm not sure anyone would ever be able to get past that. Besides, even in appearance, she could never hope to compete with my beloved, at least not in my eyes.

Twilight was the most precious of all. I knew how much I loved her. She was my loving and compassionate wife. She'd saved me from my life of evil and kept me on the straight and narrow. She was perfect.

She is perfect.

I would do anything for her. No creature or thing could ever come close to her in my heart.

But how can she feel the same about me?

Since we'd first met, I'd been such a pathetic and horribly flawed mare. I tried to alter reality itself just to pay her back for the wrongs I'd perceived she'd done to me. It wasn't just that I'd screwed up with Cozy. I'd been nothing but a nuisance to the alicorn since day one. From the beginning, I was a worthless drain on her and everyone else.

She hugged me. I hadn't noticed her approaching me, my horrible thoughts clouding all my other senses. Her gentle embrace was heavenly, like a deity had descended from on high to comfort me in my hour of need. It was my turn to cry.

"Starlight, If I was given the choice of going back and preventing the Loss, I wouldn't," she squeezed me.

"Y-you wouldn't!?" I managed to choke out between sobs.

"I don't know what might've happened if we'd continued to live like we had been. Maybe everything would've stayed the same. Maybe we would've gone our separate ways at some point. Maybe everything would've gotten even worse than it is now. But, you know what I do know, Starlight? You know what I'm certain of?"

"W-what?" I sniffled.

She drew away placing her forehead against mine. This time her smile was the loving one I knew and loved. The smile I adored more than any other. The smile I had to protect at all costs. "I know that right now, in this horrible world we live in, I have the heart of the mare I love more than everything else." She gently pressed her lips against mine, the simple gesture enough to destroy all of the despair within me. She giggled as she pulled away. "And I wouldn't change that for anything."

I still couldn't understand how she could feel the way she did about me, but I knew that in spite of my ignorance, she still felt that way. I kissed her. "Thank you, Twilight. For loving me."

"Always," she grinned, her demeanor so much brighter now.

"And forever," I wiped the tears from my eyes before we kissed once more. As Twilight went back to her machine she spoke up again.

"You know what, Star?"

"What, Twilight?"

"We're both intelligent mares. I think this is the best we can do." She turned to me with a confident smile. "Why do you want to give Rainbow Dash new wings?"

I was a bit caught off guard by her question. It was easy to answer, I just wasn't sure where she was going to go with it. There were so many reasons. Because she's my friend. Because it'll help keep us all safe. Because it'd be unfair for her to lose everything protecting us. Because...

"Because it's the right thing to do," I whispered. She smiled at me.

"I agree, and I think that's all anyone should do. What they believe is right," she chuckled before returning her attention back to the machine.

She was right. Of course she was right. I felt a weight lift off of my shoulders, her words hitting me in my core. "Twilight?" It was all so simple now.

"Yes, Star?"

"I love you."

Author's Note

Writing Starlight and Twilight more I think they might be my OTP. I really like them together. That's come a long way from me hating Starlight and thinking she was an awful character.

People can change, I suppose.