Perhaps

Chapter 3: Rain and Lightning

I still remember when she was old enough to really know what happened. I had never told Rain how mom died, and I’d hoped I would never have to. But the day she got her cutie mark (and accomplished the Sonic Rainboom, from what I heard), I had to come to grips with the fact that she was finally able to grasp the concept of suicide. So I told her. She was in shock at first, then asked me what made mom so sad. I told her the truth: I had, and still have, no idea. Life was harder for me before then, lying to her about Cloud for years. It was painful to watch my baby sister go through life so innocent to the truth about her…our parents.

I still don’t know when, or if, I’ll ever tell her about dad…

As I write these words, I can’t help but cry a little. These are the first words I’m writing in my journal, and they’re about something that happened over a month ago. But the pain of that day is still all too real. Rain’s becoming less like mom every day; she’s more like me, which is nice in a way. I guess that’s more selfish than anything, because I’d rather she was less like mom so I wouldn’t be too reminded of her every time I see that face.

I know I should be out there, trying to move on, but I can’t. I need to be there for her, and I’m sacrificing my own happiness to do so. It can’t be healthy, but it’s the only way I know how to live now. I’ve stopped looking at other mares entirely, although I’m perfectly aware of how many looks I get from them. I don’t even know what their names are, but I can guess…yeah, not so much. I guess trauma and stress have done wonders for my ability to appear normal. Nothing like some good, old-fashioned mental torture to tame a colt.

I still don’t know why everypony seems intent on making me their friend; I don’t want friends right now…I don’t deserve them. However, some colt named Soarin, or something like that, manages to get through the barriers around my mind. We become close friends, even though he’s only a foal…not that much older than Rain, actually. He had no family to speak of, something I could relate to, and he seemed to look up to me for some reason. I guess this school hasn’t forgotten me yet; I really am a legend around here. I still can’t believe that, of all the great flyers from my class, I was the most touted around it.

I hated being popular.

I guess the big thing to remember about Rain is that she is popular here, if only because she acts really badass around her friends. Ah, jocks: so easily impressed by a bit of fancy wing work. The worst, by a long shot, is Gilda: a griffon with an attit—well, she’s a griffon. Not to put too fine a point on it, but I’m pretty sure her parents enrolled her here just to get some peace and quiet, a break from her constant ranting about how cool she is, and how much she needs to be seen as such. I guess I can’t complain about her and Rain being friends; they seem to like each other, and as long as my sis has friends, I couldn’t care less who they are. My life pretty much revolves around that little filly’s happiness.

My favorite pastime is working at the weather factory…seems their response to complaints about unexpected weather is a very interesting series of job offers. Seems like they could have been more graceful about it, though. I must say, though, I love working the weather teams. I only have to really work when I’m needed, which is for, like, an hour every three days or something. If it gives me more time to myself and to Rain, I can deal with it.

Living above Ponyville for the past few years has had its own…delights. I’m constantly slammed with party invitations from some Pegasus named Surprise; she seems nice enough, but I’m not a party guy. A few others in town ask me why the two of us aren’t a couple every now and then…I usually laugh and reply very simply.

“I’m not really looking for somepony right now, I guess.”

Yeah, swallow it. That’s my gut response, and I think I’ll stick to it for now. It’s the truth, although it’s gotten someponies around town thinking I’m into stallions. My position on that is quite easy: I’m not, but I don’t see why that would be a negative thing at all. If Rain turned out to like mares, it’s not like I’d think any less of her. I’d still love her just as much; unfortunately, most others in Ponyville don’t seem to share my opinion, and think that lifestyle is wrong in every way, like there’s nothing wrong with using a your own filly as a punching bag, or something. I guess time will bring everypony to his/her senses, but I’ll get off politics now.

The point is, there’s opportunity here, and I love that. The ponies in Ponyville may be gossip monsters, but they generally mean well, and they’re all very nice to you if you are the same way to them. All in all, it’s a nice little town, and I don’t regret coming here at all.

There are plenty of opportunities for me to get by when I’m not on duty for the weather; I guess I understand my cutie mark, now. At first, I didn’t understand what a jack surrounded by wings and notes signified…but I now think it means sort of a “jack of all trades, master of none but music and flying” thing. I have ben told I’m a decent singer, after all, and that’s how I make the extra money around here.

One day, however, everything changes. Rain is asleep, and I’m up reading again. I’m on weather duty tomorrow, and I know I really should get some sleep, but I can’t tonight. I look outside, and see a light drizzle: the same rain, in fact, that I’m scheduled to help clean up in a few short hours. As I’m reading, Surprise shows up at the house. I ask her what she wants, and all she’ll say is that she just wants to get away from her family for a while. I invite her in for drinks, and she bolts in, obviously happy to have found a place to crash for a while.

We sit, we talk, we laugh, and that’s pretty much the night for us.

“So, how do you like Ponyville so far?”

I resist the urge to roll my eyes. “You do realize that I’ve been here for years, right?”

She laughs. “Of course, silly! It’s just that you’ve only recently become, you know, social around here. I was just wondering how you’ve adjusted to actually having a life.”

This time, I roll my eyes very dramatically. “As if I need to adjust to anything. I have no life, Surprise. It’s all just one meaningless conversation after another for me.” I immediately bite my tongue; have I hurt her feelings?

The tears confirm how much of an ass I am. “You think I’m meaningless?”

“No! I’m sorry about that! I said conversations!! Before now, we’ve never actually had one, so it’s really a compliment to you.”

She looks as if I’ve lifted the moon off her haunches. “Oh. Thanks for that!”

I never noticed how amazing that smile is. Her teeth are flawless, her eyes are beautiful. What am I thinking?! She’s here to crash, not for a relationship!!!

“I want to tell you something…Lightning, right?”

I hesitate just barely too long. “Yeah.”

I wait to wake up. Every time something this amazing happens to me, it’s a dream. I’ve already resigned to this.

“Come a bit closer,” she says softly. I shift a bit closer.

She crosses the remaining distance, and kisses me…

That kiss seems to last an eternity. It feels so great, I can’t believe that it’s real. After forever ends, she pulls away, leaving me with a dumb look on my face. She smiles softly.

“I love you.”

Author’s Note: Again, no idea where I was going until my Rarity moment earlier today! I have plans for the next three chapters already, and I’m going to love all of it!!!! I can’t promise that no tears will be shed, but I can say that it will be well worth it ☺ As always, thanks for reading!!