Kind Hands

It was difficult for me to open my eyes. However, it was also difficult for me to keep them closed. Such a moral conundrum was difficult to wake up to, particularly with the dull ache that bounced around the inside of my head. Regardless, neither option seemed more pleasant than the other, so I relied on my other senses to provide motivation for the movement of my eyelids.

I felt the harsh ground underneath my body, making me long for the comfort of that shit train carriage from the other day. That comfort felt far off as the crackle of a campfire filled my ears. The fire’s sounds and the smell of smoke led me to focus on my own body’s temperature, more so of how balanced it felt. The air was still, and the surface of my skin felt warm- no doubt due to the external source beside me.

Forcing my eyes to open, I saw my two fellow travellers sitting around a campfire in a small, circular clearing, with a few trees dotting its perimeter. Our Town lay barely more than a stone’s throw away, yet two-thirds of my unlikely trio had decided to stop where they stood in order to set up camp for the night. I sat up with the intent to move closer to the fire, but I was halted by a growing numbness that reminded me of the day’s events.

“Relax,” Blueblood called out softly from his seat around the campfire. “The spell should keep the pain away.” He gestured towards my arm as he spoke, drawing my attention to the affected appendage. Through the numbness, I was able to feel a dwindling warmth coursing through my wound, with the occasional heartbeat jolting some life into the ruined muscle.

I gave an experimental flex of my fingers, thankful of their continued function, and brushed my hand along the bandage that covered much of my arm, long-since stained a dull red. My inspection was cut short by Fairfeather pushing a stick that had some form of meat on it into my face.

“Here.”

The griffon waited until I took the stick from him before sitting down beside me, also enjoying the warmth from the fire. “How did you know that I can eat meat?” I asked him.

“Lucky guess,” was all that griffon said, a fulfilled smile spread across his face. There was a tenderness to our voices; much like the air around us, our minute exchange was soft and served as a well-overdue exhale after the events of the last day-and-a-half. Not waiting for a second opinion, I tore into the meat, revelling in the way that it shredded in my mouth and woke me up with its smoky flavour.

“I did not know that you were carnivorous,” came the tentative voice of Blueblood. Faced with the prospect of two meat-eaters, I’m sure that he was thankful to be sitting opposite us.

“Not carnivorous, mate,” I replied casually, pointing my stick at the prince, enjoying the sight of the meat’s juices dripping down into the fire. “I’m an omnivore- I like oranges.”

Blueblood gave no response to my justification, continuing to eat from a large pile of blackberries that was piled at his side. The implications of the prince’s silence began to dawn on me, and I grew frustrated at the sudden halt in the conversation.

“I’m not a savage, you know; I don’t eat horses.”

“Oh no- it’s not that. I was wondering if your friends know about your eating habits.”

“Don’t really have any friends.”

“Surely there must be somepony that you-”

“-I don’t think it matters either way.”

“Don’t force a conflict, dude,” Fairfeather added at the risk of escalating the problem. “Nopony’s getting hurt. Apart from you.” He nudged at my side as he added that final part. Snarky bugger. Despite what the griffon may’ve intended, the movement that he made allowed me to see the small hole in his side.

“Thanks for that.”

I tried to give the griffon a playful push, but my arm didn’t allow me to do too much. Being reminded of the circumstances that led to my injury, I sought to address the elephant in the room. “I shouldn’t’ve allowed that to happen,” I lamented, gesturing at my blood-soaked bandage and then to Fairfeather’s side. “That was an easy fight and I fucked it.”

“It was a one-in-a-million shot. And the thing’s dead- we’re eating him right now!”

“Very casual way of saying that you’ve killed and skinned a wild animal.”

“Damn tasty though. Just couldn’t cook the innards.”

Fairfeather’s nonchalant nature caught me a bit by surprise- I know for sure that I would’ve treated such an idiotic case of friendly fire quite differently, yet the griffon seemed happy to pretend that the incident hadn’t happened for the sake of the group. My generosity certainly wouldn’t have stretched that far.

“They spend their whole adult lives looking for a mate,” Fairfeather commented. He had manged to munch his way through a whole load of meat, and he seemed to be settling down in the fragile tranquillity around us.

“So, you’re saying it was pissed off ‘cause it couldn’t get laid? What a loveless life,” I replied, likely misinterpreting the point of the griffon’s comment.

“Well, you know how involuntary celibacy leads ponies to fall into idiocy,” Blueblood interjected between berry bites. I was less-than-impressed with the prince’s comment.

“I don’t think a lack of pussy is any justification for violence.”

“You must not have gotten acquainted with the mares of Canterlot, then- those harlots will do anything for a price.”

“The idea barely appeals to me. No offense, but I don’t know how I’d feel doing that, especially if it’s just as soulless as you describe.”

“Soulless? Au contraire- they will leave you feeling just as full as they will be once you-”

“-And you’ve lost me.”

“Same here. I nearly died and I want some sleep,” Fairfeather muttered as he moved to lay down a short distance from the fire.

“You nearly died? Get real, mate.”

Fairfeather scoffed as he closed his eyes and turned away from us. Maybe poorly thought-out sexual references weren’t on the table for tonight, as I also became aware of my need for sleep. I had my heart set on some shut-eye, until I remembered that I’d probably only woken up a short while ago, and that I had no chance of drifting off any time soon.

With nothing else to do, I rooted through my backpack, which had miraculously survived the assault. There was little in there, aside from basic supplies, but I continued to root around until my hand collided with something heavy.

“Mayhaps I pushed a few buttons…?” Blueblood teased.

“By the sounds of it, you’ve played with enough people’s buttons,” I retorted while getting a feel of the object in my grip.

“Well, I don’t mean to brag-”

“-Then don’t,” Fairfeather interjected, rolling over to face us. “Goodnight.” The griffon’s removal from the conversation left Blueblood with little to comment on- until his eyes fixated on what I’d managed to pull out from my backpack.

“What in the world are you reading?”

I looked up from the book with a slight smile running across my face. “My Experiences with Dragon Lilies. I hear it gets quite intriguing at around chapter 53.” I laughed to myself; of course, out of everything I could’ve brought…

Beggars can’t be choosers, I suppose, so I got to reading, although my light-headedness made it difficult to focus on the small-print.

“What could possess somepony to read something so…boring?” the prince continued, reflecting my earlier concerns with a certain mare’s reading material. Again, I struggled to contain a smile as I thought of an answer.

“I dunno. It takes my mind off my arm, at least.”

Again, I turned my attention back to my book; I could barely read anything that was written on those cursed pages. Only when my group’s conversation seemed far off in the quiet air of the night did I raise my head again and ask Blueblood a question that’d been on my mind for a long time.

“So…does that little tuxedo thing go over your neck or what?”

“Excuse me?”

“It looks like one of those lifejackets that you put around your neck- it’s ridiculous.”

In the dim light of the following morning, Double Diamond was delighted at the sight of our return, if only due to the seeds that Fairfeather carried. Nevertheless, the stallion fulfilled his end of the bargain and pointed us in the general direction as to where Starlight had apparently run off to. “It’s just a short trot in that direction,” he had said. It certainly didn’t feel that way.

The snow had begun to fall heavily as we made our way up a narrow mountain pass, steep drops threatening to make any misstep a fatal one. Between the gale and the snowdrift that came with it, I began to wonder whether we’d even be able to find any signs of the flighty mare, but those thoughts were dispelled when I noticed a specific point of interest.

“Fairfeather,” I began, tentatively. “I know my reading still isn’t at a hundred percent, so please forgive me if I believe that that says…”

“Yeah…that says, ‘Starlight’s Cave’.”

In the ultimate definition of shithousery, Double Diamond had ever-so coincidentally neglected to mention that there was a large, bright purple neon sign that hung above an otherwise nondescript cave entrance. Guess he really needed those seeds- that’s of course not to mention the logistics of including near-enough a bloody Christmas light display outside of your evil lair.

“Are you taking the piss- this was here the whole time?!”

“…We’ve been duped.”

“Like a hooker on Hoofday,” Blueblood commented, mashing both of his forehooves together. The possible origins of such an expression loomed large in my mind as I thought of things that I had a hard time dispelling.

Sure enough, even the prince was able to tell that we’d been sewn up, as we gawked at the sign above us, watching it throw all measures of subtlety and common sense out the window. Things couldn’t get much more sardonic than this, so I dragged myself to the cave in a bid to get this over with.

“So, we’re just waltzing through the front entrance?” Blueblood asked with some exasperation, gesturing towards the writing, alluding to the often-dreadful idea of walking straight into a possible supervillain’s living room.

“Listen, mate, I’m tired and I just want this over with, so let’s just take our chances with the front.”

Undeterred by the call of common sense, I continued into the cave, not looking back to see if my group was following me. Fairfeather was the first to give into the absurdity and follow me in. “Let’s hope she’s friendly…”

Stepping into Starlight’s Cave, I came to the determination that I was, indeed, in a cave. Shocking, I know. Dark, cold and dripping with an echoing wetness, it was about as unwelcoming as expected. Even the lowly shack in Our Town was preferrable to this, especially as I continued to bang my head on the occasional stalactite as I found out that I was much too tall for this world.

“It’s very easy for us that she left the front door open,” I commented, trying to find the bright side of having to stumble in what was essentially pitch-black.

“It’d be even easier if we could see,” Fairfeather added. He also appeared to be struggling. Although doing better than I was, the occasional sound of tumbling rocks and bodies colliding into stone suggested that none of us were doing particularly well in finding our way.

“One moment,” Blueblood stated, lighting up a spell and creating a small ball of light that hung off the end of his horn. It did little to illuminate the surroundings- but it was better than nothing. At the very least, it lit up a small path for us to follow.

A path that took a long time to follow, apparently: a seemingly unending chasm that appeared to have been forcefully tunnelled through. The tunnel felt completely devoid of life; the only indications of any previous activity were the occasional flickers and crackles of an erratic form of magic.

“So, how do we know Starlight’s even in here?” I asked after a long while of walking. The formation of the cave was random, yet it all felt the same; with every meandering corner, the feeling that time was being wasted began to grow.

“Funny you should mention that,” Fairfeather answered with a point further down the tunnel. “‘Cause, with a bit of luck, that’s her.” He pointed to a blue light, barely visible in the distance. It was similar to the crackles of light that emerged from the cave’ walls, yet this light was constant: dimming and brightening in the rhythm of spasmodic breathing.

The light intensified as we approached it, to the point where it was difficult to look at for long periods of time. Its source was still uncertain, however, so I still felt a sense of unease underneath its glare. This didn’t last forever, though- just as the light intensified, the glow suddenly faded away, revealing the pony who was responsible for this whole endeavour.

The mare in question looked to have been found, although there didn’t seem to be much of her left to salvage. Her body seemed in decent enough condition: a strong frame that made her slightly taller than the average mare. If bold colours were a sign of strength, her mane kept her powerful image alive: bold shades of purple and blue contrasted with her pale pink fur, utilising colours that I associated with dark matter.

Her striking colours suggested that she was a pony capable of great power, although the pony that I saw was a pathetic imitation; a mockery of the potential that this mare surely held. It wasn’t through any marks on her body, though- looking upon the pale pink mass, there were little signs of any harm. Maybe her body was in such good condition because all the damage had transferred to her mind.

She looked broken, shaking quietly in the corner whilst staring at the ground and hiding behind a nonsensical smirk. Even as we closed in on her, clearly audible in our clumsiness, the mare didn’t give off the impression of registering our presence. “If I were to guess, I would say that we have found our harlot,” Blueblood announced triumphantly. I don’t why he sounded so proud- the girl was a wreck.

“Even if she’s not, we’re taking her with us,” I responded as I set off to confront the mare, only to be stopped by Fairfeather.

“Woah, woah, woah! You’re just gonna walk over there?”

“Look at her- she looks barely conscious right now. Maybe she needs a hug.”

Celestia never outright told me about the crimes that Starlight had committed- or even if she’d done anything wrong at all. Either way, this pathetic little thing looked absolutely hopeless, and I had no worries as I strode up to the mare and towered over her prone form.

“Starlight Glimmer?”

My question garnered no response, so I reached down and ran a hand through the mare’s striped mane, admittedly savouring the sensation. “Oi, Starlight.” After receiving no response for the second time, I knelt down and shook the mare, trying to jolt her back to life. “Wakey wakey, sugarplum. Wake up and smell the coffee.”

Still unresponsive, Starlight kept her head down, intent on staring at the floor even after receiving this treatment. This continued for some time until I gave up and allowed the mare to slump back to her normal position. “This is a waste of time. Anyone got any ideas?”

“I mean, we’ve just gotta bring her back, right? It doesn’t matter what condition she’s in when she gets there,” Fairfeather suggested with a matter-of-fact tone that I wouldn’t personally associate with kidnapping. I may say that, but this suggestion appealed to me, so I abandoned the catatonic mare and turned my attention to the cave walls, which appeared to have some form of writing carved into them. I motioned for Blueblood to come closer and illuminate the scrawling so that they could be read.

“What’s all this say?”

“Nonsense about time travel… cutie marks… ‘Sunburst’?” Blueblood observed, bringing up a forehoof to scratch at his chin. ‘Nonsense’ may well have been the correct word to describe it all. Dotted around the cave in random intervals, disconnected words and phrases of varying sizes and fonts littered the walls and gave insight into a clearly decaying psyche.

“Why have you come?” came a voice from the space behind me, solemn and defeated. I could’ve taken a guess as to who that voice belonged to, and I was unsurprised to see Starlight raising her head to look at her visitors, her large, blue eyes drowning in their own self-pity.

“So, you are still with us,” I affirmed as I greeted the mare, enjoying watching her mind struggle to comprehend the creature in front of her. Already unhinged, Starlight stared at me with wide eyes, clapping both her forehooves together and smashing them into her face.

“Now I really am insane,” she whispered, thinking aloud. She continued to clap her forehooves together- although, she thankfully missed out the part where she hit herself in the face. I knelt down and put my hands on both of her forehooves, trying to get her attention.

“I think that ship’s already sailed, love. Listen, you’re needed by Princess Cele-”

“-Princess?! Did you say ‘princess’?!”

Without warning, Starlight leaped forward and pressed her face into mine, causing me to fall backwards. I could feel her hot breath on my lips as the mare on top of me snarled in a way known only to the catatonic. I was also made particularly aware of the mare’s positioning as her body pinned my arm to the floor, causing me to wince from the growing sensation.

“…Is there a problem with that?” I asked as I gingerly tried to push the mare away from my face. She was surprisingly strong in this regard, anchoring herself onto me and making more of an effort to hang on with every push that she received.

“Princess? Which princess?”

“I was trying to tell you…!”

Pushing more with my right arm, I finally gained some leverage and painfully pried Starlight away from me, albeit with the intervention of Fairfeather and Blueblood.

“Yes- the princess. I’d like to see the princess,” Starlight commented before she went back to sitting on her haunches and clapping her forehooves. Despite her resumed docility, I hurried myself to my feet and rubbed at my left arm with concern.

“…Are you alright?” I asked the mare, wondering where the hell Celestia finds these people. Surely, someone like this couldn’t be worth much. Even more so considering that my question seemed to have fallen on deaf ears again as Starlight stared off in a random direction, her mind preoccupied.

“The princess…”

Concerned about both her and my own welfare, I pulled Fairfeather to one side. “Yo, is she gonna be okay to take back with us?” I whispered to the griffon, who seemed far less concerned than I was.

“Relax- I’ve got something that’ll keep her quiet.”

He pulled out a small arrow, much smaller than the rest of the ones in his arsenal. It glowed a sickly green colour, dripping some sort of liquid onto the cave floor. I resisted the masculine urge to put my finger in the substance as my mind generated further questions about my feathered friend.

“I don’t even want to know what that is.”

“Just say the word and wham! Lights out.”

A simple roll of the eyes seemed to be commonplace in situations where neither me nor my contemporaries had anything to add to a conversation. So, I did just that as I reluctantly approached Starlight once more. “So, what’re you here for?” I calmly asked her.

“They betrayed me. They all betrayed me…” was Starlight’s response. Her stare never changed, constantly looking straight ahead with a blank expression as she delivered her answer.

“Who did?”

“All of them…”

There was something about people only vaguely answering my questions that really irked me. I had no interest in going round in circles, and I could tell that I’d get nothing more from Starlight. I’d seen enough. “Listen, you’ve got some demons to face, I’m sure- but that’s not my problem right now. Do it, Fairfeather.”

Not half a second later, a miniature arrow lodged itself into Starlight’s neck. The mare didn’t even have enough time to react as she collapsed onto the floor. And with that, the cave fell silent, with the distant echo of the mare’s fall disappearing into the distance.

“I say- that went much better than the fight with that creature,” Blueblood commented amusedly from his position behind us. He had a point; it was almost anticlimactic with how quickly that encounter had come to an end.

“Yeah, that felt fairly superfluous,” I agreed. I focused on my arm again, re-examining the damage and wondering if this was all worth it. “But, Christ, that was a strong effect. What did you put in that?” I directed at Fairfeather, who was busy pridefully dusting off his bow.

“If I told you that, you’d never see me again.”

“As I expected,” a satisfied Blueblood remarked.

“I guess we’re all thieves and crooks here.”

“So…how do we get her out 0f here?” Fairfeather asked as he lightly kicked at Starlight’s body for whatever reason.

“Well, we cou-” I began only to be cut off by a sound that emanated from an object that I’d completely forgotten about. A buzz confirmed my suspicions as I pulled my phone from my backpack, thanking pure convenience that it was still functioning. Lady luck must’ve been coming my way now.

“What the heck is that?” Fairfeather asked, completely confused. I was in no mood to explain, so I turned my back on my curious friend and raised a hand up in response.

“Uh, one second.”

It appeared that, of all the times, Rarity had taken up my offer of getting in touch. I ignored the perplexed looks on my friends’ faces as I fulfilled the otherworldly concept of answering the phone. “Oh Rarity- what a lovely surprise,” I began, taking notice of Blueblood’s change in expression as I spoke.

“Hello, darling,” Rarity responded, her slightly hesitant voice sounding as clear as day. “I do hope that I’m not intruding on anything. Oh, I misjudged how strange this must look. I appear to be talking to myself on the way back from the market.” Her voice was comforting; I felt my body relax and I let out a deep sigh in response to the soft chimes that flooded my ears.

“I wouldn’t worry about it, love- nearly everyone I’ve met so far has had something wrong with them.”

“…I’m not sure how to react to that one.”

Yeah, my phrasing could do with some work. I could practically feel the second-hand embarrassment that radiated from my companions as I spoke again.

“What I’m saying is, I won’t judge.”

“I should hope not. You just need to work on your phrasing.”

“I sure know that. So, what’re you calling for? Not that I’m bothered by your voice.”

“This was your idea, was it not? I was to use this bizarre spell to speak with you once you were free to arrange a date. Although, if the acoustics are any indication, you currently do have your hooves full.”

“Oh, not at all, love. In fact, I’ll be coming back to Canterlot later today so I can come and find you probably around lunchtime tomorrow.”

I twirled my hand as I spoke, wanting to wrap this shit up. Frankly, Rarity’s introduction to this scene felt very unnecessary, and she did little but interrupt any ideas of how we were going to get back to Canterlot. Still, she didn’t know this, so she continued with the same tone that she always had.

“Please don’t push yourself too hard, even for me. Twilight has told me how the Princesses are putting you through the wringer, as it were.”

That was it! Rarity’s enjoyable drawling was the lightbulb moment I needed. How could I not have realised this sooner? This was Celestia’s problem, so it was her turn to get off her lazy arse and help me out for a change. It was the least she could do. Although, maybe I was slightly too overjoyed upon reaching this revelation, as my response sought to demonstrate.

“Ah, that reminds of a way to get out of here! Rarity, you beautiful little vixen- you’ve given me a great idea!”

If Rarity had a body, I’d hug it. That may not have been the best way to phrase that, but you know what I mean. Rarity didn’t.

“Well…you have obviously had a rather exhausting trip so I will allow you to finish what you’ve started. Do take care, darling. I will see you tomorrow.”

“Thanks, Rarity. Yeah, see you soon.”

And so, another awkward conversation came to a close. Putting down my phone, I couldn’t help but notice Blueblood and his ridiculously exaggeratedly disapproving face. “What’s with your face- you look like you’ve been smacked across the head with a bag of wet shit.”

I doubted that the expression was lost on him. In an instant, the prince’s face shifted back to a more neutral stance as he tilted his head up and turned away from me. “Certain stones are best left unturned,” he muttered.

That wasn’t good enough.

“What? Rarity?” I continued to probe, despite already knowing the answer. As if it wasn’t obvious enough, the prince proved himself to be a terrible liar as well- showcased by him giving no response and looking up at the ceiling. “Ah! It’s Rarity.”

“Of course not.”

“It is! You tried to get with her, and she kicked you on your arse, didn’t she?”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“Oh, come on, now- two white, up-and-coming, at-first-glance-up-their-own-arses little bureaucrats. On a surface level, you two seem perfect for each other. But you fucked it; it’s clear as day and now you’re just another bloke who butchered a golden opportunity.”

“It was a time that we would both rather forget, I am sure. I have grown a lot since then.”

The prince’s lack of a satisfying reaction was underwhelming. For Fairfeather, though, this was his golden opportunity to push a few buttons of his own. “Since when- on the way up the mountain? ‘Cause you were a real asshole before all this,” the griffon chimed in, unwilling to let go of the prince’s vulnerable state.

I expected Blueblood to fire back at Fairfeather with a barrage of insults, yet the prince closed his eyes and sighed. “Perhaps I may not always be able to appropriately show how I truly feel-”

“-If anything, you’re too good at it-”

“-I may not always be able to show how I feel in front of the other nobles. Perhaps Celestia was correct: spending time with the common folk may indeed help with my self-expression.”

“You know who you’re talking to, right? A human and a griffon?” I asked.

“Nothing ‘common’ about us!” Fairfeather announced as he completed my point for me. He hooked one of his forelimbs around my shoulder, pulling me closer than I would’ve liked. It seemed that personal space was a luxury in this world.

“Or, at least, not normal,” I remarked as I offered an alternative. Blueblood gave a hearty laugh; I found this unfamiliar sound greatly disturbing, and Fairfeather seemed to be feeling the same.

“You may very well be right,” the prince concluded. Finally, it seemed, we’d reached some form of common ground. Common ground in the middle of a cave, covered in blood, dust and Starlight Glimmer’s phlegm. What a time to get the hell out of here.

“Actually, speaking of Celestia, Rarity reminded me that I can ring her and get her to do all the work for a change.”

One ring later, and I had found myself in direct contact with the princess herself. I shed a tear for the castle’s security if it was this easy to access the royals of this land.

“Good afternoon, David.”

The princesses voice had much the same effect on me as Rarity’s had had previously. Maybe not quite the same, though, as Celestia’s voice left me slightly on edge as I leaned against the cave wall. “Yeah, hi, Celestia- uh, princess. Uh, we’ve got Starlight, but she’s…uh…”

“…She will be difficult for you to transport?”

“Y-yeah…you could say that, yeah. Sorry- I hate talking on the phone.”

“The situation is novel for us both. I will send some soldiers to collect Miss Glimmer. All I will need is your location.”

I glanced around for a moment.

“I dunno. We’re in a fucking cave somewhere.”

“Well, leave that…cave and make yourself known. Blueblood should know how- unless you have fulfilled your previous promise and gotten him killed for me.”

“I kinda did the opposite. I-I’ll let him know.”

“Please do. I will see you here soon for your payment, young one.”

“See, can you choose between calling me by my name or carrying on with ‘young one’? It messes me up a bit.”

“Of course, David. Although, I suggest that you see Twilight in Ponyville beforehoof. I believe that you have young ones of your own who have been waiting for you.”

I really didn’t like the way she spoke. It was probably just my fatigue talking, but did she really have to be like that? I get it- ‘incredibly powerful goddess capable of levelling the planet’, but… what was I ranting about? Do I always sound like this?

“Looking forward to it. I’d better get paid a hell of a lot for this.”

“I will see you soon, young one. Oh, and, just to be clear, there is no need to tell Twilight about this expedition- this stays between us.”

And with that worrying threat of confidentiality, the princess graciously hung up the phone- or the alicorn equivalent. I could feel a warmth through my cheeks for whatever reason, but at least I’d done the princess’ chores. Still…

“…A ‘goodbye’ would’ve been nice.”