Kind Hands

Right: let’s fast forward again. Specifically, three days. Apparently, when Luna mentioned that the Gala was due to commence at ‘the end of the month’, she meant to say that I had less than a week. Real planning genius there, Luna.

But that’s besides the point. Here I was all suited and booted (with much love from Rarity) in Canterlot Castle’s throne room, hours before the big event was due to start. In anticipation of the big event, I was unbearably nervous, bordering on nauseous- and in the middle of an argument.

“I have absolutely no idea why you’re even suggesting that they should come along! Are they supposed to sip on the complementary martinis before or after their orange juice?!”

As could perhaps be deduced, Eve and Eva were the topic of this conversation- although they were only here in spirit. They were stashed away somewhere with Twilight, leaving only me, Celestia and…well, Luna wasn’t here yet, but I was half-expecting her to come from behind and strangle me again.

Until she arrived, though, it was me and the big one. Irritatingly, she was all confident and relaxed in her lovely throne, living the life of a self-assured monarch who had everything under control. “They deserve to see all of what Equestria has to offer,” she’d offered as an explanation for her actions, which just annoyed me even further.

“They ‘deserve’ to have a good night’s sleep and be rested for tomorrow!”

“What’s happening tomorrow? Do they have school?”

Ooh, she deserved a slap. A slap delivered by someone other than myself of course- both for moral reasons and because of the whole ‘goddess who could kill me in her sleep’ level of power that I was dealing with. Playground insult though. I still felt safe around the princess, hence why I was comfortable enough to have this outburst, but all her royal favours and reassuring words did little to stop my blood from boiling when she was like this.

And what fucked me off was that she just sat there, watching as I fired a whole load of accusations and hyperbolic outbursts at her. She’d only spoken to me in short, simple sentences that probably sounded wise and well-mannered, but all it did was irritate me further; she always sported the most contented of grins whenever I interrupted her. It was as if she got off on it.

Yeah, it’d been a rough evening. It was probably my fault, too. But I was so uptight about the whole thing because I knew what letting those two little girls loose would cause: at best, there’d be a hefty fine, and at worst, there’d be a manslaughter charge. Or the pony equivalent, I guess.

“Listen, Celestia- you can’t have them running around in here; they’d be much better off away from any potential carnage and safely in bed,” I did my utmost to reason with the monarch, as, even if she relented only slightly, it’d make this night a hell of a lot easier and less eventful, which would be better for everybody.

Everybody except the princess, sadly. With that smug look of enjoyment, she continued. “And who would watch them while they slept? My dear sister may be omnipotent, but she certainly isn’t omnipresent.”

Well, that was a lie. Luna’s a lovely lady, but she didn’t warrant the use of any adjective with the ‘omni’ prefix. But then again, Celestia still spoke some sense; I wasn’t having Twilight sedating anyone again, so I was in quite a bind. “You’re just…”

Celestia knew when she had me in a corner, although I couldn’t be sure why she was being so insistent about this. “The Gala starts in the early evening,” she’d explained. “You can allow them some time to explore the castle grounds before bedtime? I’m sure they would love the cuisine.”

Every time the princess spoke, I swear my nausea doubled. I just couldn’t understand her insistence on me bringing those two along. Despite this, even in the darkest of times, there is always a way out of a social obligation- and I’d just found it.

“You know what- that’s a fantastic idea: I’ll let them stick around until bedtime. I tell you though, madam: once we get to bedtime, we are all getting out of there. You must’ve forgotten that I don’t want to be there either. I have no interest in your Mickey Mouse party.”

In spite of my slang, I seemed to have gotten my point across. Perhaps a little too well, as the princess showed me that she’d listened. Without a word, she leaned forward on her throne and eyed me hungrily like I was on a one-way trip to the abattoir.

“Ponies have directed lighter insults yet served heavier punishments before you, David.”

Now that was scary. Forget all the stuff that Spike had conjured up in his mind about me; he’d be shitting himself if he’d been on the receiving end of that stare. However, there was still a playful nature to Celestia’s voice- and what else are you to do when presented with a bull than grab it by the horns?

“Yeah, well, you need me right now- for whatever reason. I’ve been busting my arse for you recently, so you owe me this much.”

From this assertion, Celestia only smiled. “Quite. I tell you: Luna was right- such a sour disposition is refreshing from time-to-time.”

I didn’t have much to say to that. Obviously, ‘cheeky bastard’, but not really anything worth mentioning. The princess had the most profound ability to walk the line between fakery and flattery- and I’d probably just be playing the role of the court jester if I kept arguing.

“So, fine,” I calmly relented to the princess, happy to just go back to my room like a good little boy. “I’ll be here when this all starts and then I’m going to bed.”

Celestia was merciful in her reply. “That sounds like the perfect plan. Why didn’t you suggest it sooner?”

And you know what? That was fine. Any type of compromise was good enough at this point, so I shook my heavy head before lowering it to the floor. Closing my eyes, I willed for the world to fall asleep with me; my sanity must’ve been slipping if I was pleased with an outcome like that.

In fact, my standards were so low that I even offered an apology. “Sorry if I was rude before, princess. I just don’t like parties at the best of times because they are never particularly welcoming for me. I shudder to imagine what the little ones’ contributions to this…thing will be.”

But then, something amazing happened. In perhaps the second time I’ve ever felt Celestia’s warmth, the princess pulled me towards her- quite literally, given her magic- and placed a hoof on my shoulder. “You know that Twilight will be attending,” she reminded me, still stood above me on her perch next to the throne.

“Yeah, but she’s got her own friends. Her family will probably be here too. With those guys in the picture, I think the best-case scenario would be them leaving me alone.”

Celestia’s hoof continued to rest upon my shoulder while I simmered. Various scenarios about the upcoming evening flashed through my mind, all carrying the same, dismal feeling of dread that all plans that are doomed to fail are accompanied by.

I really did just want to be left alone. If the girls were forced to be in-tow, then I’d just want to sit with them and do nothing until they felt tired. I would surely be tired enough. I didn’t need to meet people or engage in any theatrics; I needed to keep my head down and sit in the corner until I could go home.

So, that was the plan. Granted, such a scheme could only be crafted solely out of wishful thinking, but it was an idea. Maybe the numerous, extremely powerful guests would pay no attention to the scruffy biped and his two sidekicks.

Oh yeah, and I’d lost any further arguments about the girls not needing to be here. They looked lovely in their little dresses (wonderfully woven and sparkling with reds and yellows, courtesy of Rarity and her sleepless nights), but I knew that their elegance was skin-deep. ‘Wolves in sheep’s clothing’ and all that. That’s probably the wrong analogy.

Regardless, the ‘party’ had begun. It was about what I’d expected: some fancy ‘so-and-so’s milling about in their designer dresses. I hadn’t seen anyone familiar yet, which felt like a victory to be honest, so I too fell into a routine of awkwardly wandering into empty spaces and trying to keep the little ones from doing something stupid.

It’d been like this for a while. Eve would go and run to look at something shiny, ask a few questions about it, and then go back to vaguely being within my vicinity. Eva was just…I could tell that she really hated it.

Fuck this. I was miserable, Eva was miserable (and falling asleep), and Eve was only having fun because she had a new space to run around in, like she was a labrador. Adding to this was the fact that Celestia was nowhere to be found, so it was similarly in the girls’ and my best interests to disappear as well.

With that, I headed to the door, hoping to cut this chapter short, only for somepony unexpected to appear at the entranceway: Twilight’s mother…whose name escaped me at that moment. Somepony whose name I still remembered was Night Light, just a few moments behind and looking only slightly more engaged than I surely was.

“Easy there, Velvet,” the stallion wearily warned, giving me the name that alluded me. “I’m not as young as I used to be.” It appeared that the stairs were giving him some difficulties as he seemed to be all-but limping up the last few.

“Oh, you tease,” Velvet mocked with a wave of the hoof. She helped her husband up the last few steps, holding him by a very particular place. “I know you keep all your energy down there,” she quickly added while…I mean, you can imagine where she might’ve been grabbing with her magic. No wonder Twilight’s such a wreck.

Now, the plan at this point would be to get through the door without those two noticing me. The obvious issue was that they were currently in the door- and from the look of excitement on Mrs. Velvet’s face, they weren’t going anywhere for a while.

I wish I’d had an extra hand to cover Eve’s eyes with, but Eva had decided to reattach herself to my neck and subsequently required my attention. Granted, that still left me with one free hand to guide the raven-haired girl away from this mess. Sadly, I knew that things were going to get worse before they got better.

For example: the frisky couple had noticed me coming. With a wave, the couple called me over, and I was soon brought in for a quick handshake with Night Light, at which point I offered my greetings to the stallion.

If it were any other mare, I’m sure that my offer of a handshake would’ve been satisfactory, yet Mrs. Velvet hadn’t come this far to be labelled as ‘any other mare’. “Oh, come here!” she’d exclaimed, dragging my arm down so that she could give me a quick peck on the lips.

I was a little surprised about this; I wasn’t too familiar with this kind of behaviour. Even so, it was over in an instant, and it just seemed to be the sprightly mother-of-two’s charming way of displaying her affection. Either way, I was delighted when Night Light started talking. “What brings you to the Gala?”

With a laugh, I readjusted myself so that Eva, who’d naturally given up, was positioned more comfortably on my torso. “I’ve got no choice,” I explained, sounding much prouder than I’d intended. “I was actually about to leave.”

Mrs. Velvet pouted at this, mimicking the mannerisms of somepony half her age. “After all the work you’ve put in to look this good?”

I couldn’t say that I hated the attitude. It may’ve come across as a bit desperate, but why not let loose sometimes? Particularly as she’d gotten all dolled up, in her lovely flowing dress and a face full of makeup.

And it certainly wasn’t a wasted effort. Her lipstick in particular was incredibly eye-catching, although looking at her lips reminded me of where they’d likely been. My mind went back to the mare’s unorthodox greeting, and I suppose I spoke without really thinking. “I don’t really know where your lips have been, madam.”

Given that this comment was entirely irrelevant to the conversation, Mrs. Velvet didn’t skip a beat. If anything, she looked even more eager. “But I know where Twily’s have been! Has she made a move on you yet?” she excitedly asked, thankfully not jumping into my face like her daughter usually did.

“Not…exactly, Mrs. Velvet.”

I must’ve been letting off quite a blush as I turned away from the mare’s eager grin. She knew I was full of shit, commenting, “You can’t fool me, boy- I know what stallions do when they’re alone!” while simultaneously elbowing her husband, hoping to garner some support from him.

“You’re worryingly invested in your daughter’s sex life,” I hesitantly concluded. This hesitancy doubled for every second that the three of us subsequently stood in silence, so I knew that now was the perfect time to escape. “I’m…gonna put these two to bed now.”

Despite having nearly brought me to my knees with her silence, Mrs. Velvet seemed alright with this. “Send them my love, beautiful- but do hurry back. I’ve got a glass of champagne with your name on it!”

The idea appealed to me, even if I hated the taste of champagne. “I don’t drink, but thank you. I get very emotional when I’m drunk,” I tried to explain, hoping to have found an adequate justification for calling it a night. Sadly, no.

“That shouldn’t stop a stallion from having fun! Come on back to me.”

I didn’t give the mare an answer. Even so, Mrs. Velvet was definitely an optimist, so she knew that I’d be back. No matter what, Eve and Eva needed to go to bed, so that was the first objective. Only then could I even consider the possibility of going back to see that maternal bucket of hormones.

“I’m certainly not giving them your love, Velvet…”

David is not always the simplest of figures to understand. This gets even worse when he drinks. Therefore, any ramblings or think pieces that he could have conjured up after he inevitably went back to Twilight Velvet and drank his own weight in champagne would have been lost on the average pony.

He had done his duty and stayed with his foals until they fell asleep. Unbeknownst to him, such was his fixation on Twilight’s mother, Eve had very quickly left him behind during his previous conversation with the mare, having long come to the conclusion that she was to go to bed.

So, they were out of the picture for now, leaving David in a champagne-induced buzz and within the clutches of Twilight’s parents. Such was the trio’s eagerness to get the party started, several glasses had been consumed, filled to the brim, and consumed again, leaving the human in a state of heightened emotion.

“Fuck off- are you that old?!” the human had shouted out during a discussion about age- far louder than was necessary. “Do ponies never age or some shit? You look about as old as Twilight! How do you do it?” He swung his glass of champagne as he made his accusations, long past the point of caring about how much of its contents soaked into the carpet.

“Oh, you’re too sweet! If Twilight doesn’t make it official soon, I might just have to take you myself!” Mrs. Velvet exclaimed in response to the boy’s antics, having apparently found them to be rather enjoyable.

It was bemusing as to how the trio had not been forcefully escorted from the premises. Any laugh too loud or slosh of liquid too audible led to angry glances and hushes from those around them. Yet these three were unperturbed, uninterrupted and completely uninterested in the plights of the ponies around them.

Actually, this was not strictly true. David still had an interest in seeing a particular pony tonight; perhaps the alicorn’s imminent presence was the only reason that he could stomach her parents. The alcohol had certainly gotten to him, so he sat back and stared up at the ceiling as it spun in his vision.

“You’re thinking about her again- aren’t you, lover boy?”

Outside of his vision, Mrs. Velvet giggled to herself. Once he had placed the mare back within his eyeline, he was able to witness a lady too far gone. She smugly pressed her face into his, almost daring the human to act, as if this was a game of spin-the-bottle between high schoolers.

Somehow, David found it within him to push away from the mare. “Well, she’s hard to forget. She’s like the Genesis of it all: she’s been here since…sorta day one. I need to show her how much I wanna thank her. I wanna see her tonight…” he mumbled to himself, lacking both volume and coherence in his voice.

He sat in silence after this comment, paying no attention to Night Light’s rehearsed attempts at bringing his wife back under control. The stallion was successful, and once David brought his gaze back to the conversation, it was as if the previous thirty seconds were all part of his imagination.

“I’m sure she will find you eventually,” Night Light reassured the human. “Have you seen her dress? Her friend really is a master with the needle.”

“She hasn’t, actually,” David replied, somewhat disjointedly answering the question. “She made this big song and dance about keeping it a secret. Always keeping her cards close to her chest…”

Much like with the previous exchange, David hung his head and fruitlessly attempted to wish his drunken haze away. He was beginning to regret the gusto with which he had started his evening of drinking as he felt a familiar bubbling in his stomach.

Unlike before, however, it was the human who continued where he had left off, having decided to enter into a wholly different conversation. “I’m just happy you two are still together. You might be embarrassing as shit, but at least Twilight didn’t have to deal with a divorce.”

“Your parents divorced?” Night Light asked in return, direct to a fault. David leaned forward in response to this, intent on explaining more while fighting to keep his eyes open.

“Oh yeah- ages ago. Got into debt after one-too-many trips to Disneyland. Lots of fights and then one day they’d had enough of each other. My dad took me to the seaside when they were talking about moving house…and by the time we got back, all my stuff was gone.”

Faced with such candidness, Night Light lacked an immediate response. The sight of his human companion wilting away in the wake of his explanation fully convinced the stallion that this was not a topic worth pursuing for much longer. “I’m sorry to hear it. I know of so many ponies who have suffered a similar fate. It’s no good.”

“Nah, people have had it worse; my parents weren’t big drinkers or smackheads or anything. It just fucks me off that I didn’t get a chance to say goodbye to my family home. I used to walk past it on the way back from school…I can look in but never go in anymore…”

Night Light listened to the human speak. He felt the pain being projected, yet he found difficulty with finding common ground between himself and the man opposite. With this in mind, he aimed to round out the conversation with an agreeable closing statement. “…Well, being a parent is never easy. I’m sure that was your parents’ way of coping.”

As this conversation continued, the risk of it turning overly dour increased. This was not helped by David letting out a paltry “They wanted what was best for me…” before beginning to falter. It appeared that a mixture of alcohol and latent emotion had become too much for him to handle.

Despite all this, there was still an exchange to salvage. This was courtesy of Mrs. Velvet, who initiated physical contact with the human once more, this time out of sympathy more than any other motivation. “Aww hun- you know you have a family here with us. Come over anytime; my front door is always open.”

The mare’s touch was soothing to David, who leaned into the contact slightly. It was entirely possible that this was done solely to help him maintain his balance, but the gesture was accepted all the same. “Yeah, that speaks for itself…” he commented, unable to stop himself from laughing as a mind full of double-entendres caught up with him.

Given how Mrs. Velvet had previously acted that evening, it was surprising how long she took to catch onto what the human was alluding to. “Mister, mister, mister! That is rude of you!” the mare cried out in a fake display of anger once she had understood, giving the human a playful slap on the cheek as she did so.

David was initially worried that he had taken things too far, but the laughter that soon erupted from the group proved that his concerns were for nothing. Much to the visual displeasure of the ponies around them, the hearty trio continued with the to-and-fro nature of the exchange until they were inevitably interrupted.

“Sorry to disturb your…riveting conversation, sir,” a male unicorn commented from behind David’s shoulder. “But your little filly- if I dare call her that- is running amok in the castle grounds. I highly suggest that you deal with her before somepony else does.”

Resisting the urge to smack the nameless stallion back to whence he came, David turned to face the intruder. “The fuck? Who took her? Where?!”

In spite of the human’s growing agitation, the nameless stallion merely pointed further into the ballroom, gesturing towards the large crowd of ponies within. “I assure you that this was of her own volition. I saw the little thing frolicking near the champagne; I would recommend keeping her on a leash next time.”

David growled at this. He was certain to have made a move towards the stallion, but his reflexes were so poor that his target was long gone by the time he was ready to do something about it. “Arsehole…” the human muttered while gingerly attempting to stand. “I’d better go and…fuck, that makes my head hurt.”

He leaned on the chair in front of him and cradled his head. Forcing his eyes closed in a bid to keep the pain away, it was obvious that he was in no state to track anyone down. Plus, there was no guarantee that he would be able to handle the situation once he got there.

But this was a burden that he was forced to bear. Mrs. Velvet realised this as well. “Let’s go, dear. Time is wasting!” she announced, her composure showcasing a noticeably higher alcohol tolerance than her companion. The night would likely have gone much smoother if she was the one to have found the little girl.

It took some time- and effort- for David to stumble his way over to Eve’s location. Mrs. Velvet had instructed the group to split up and cover more ground, and it was luck alone that placed the human in prime contention for finding the girl first.

Although, he had heard some commotion in the distance. Naturally, he had headed towards the noise and was eventually able to witness a confrontation. He would have likely intervened sooner, but, if anything, his drunken stupor was worsening as he struggled to focus on the large group of ponies in front of him.

Even in his current state, David was able to find the little girl. She had seemingly met her match: a silver-coated stallion by the name of Globe Trot. He was much larger than the child in every sense, towering over her and loudly giving her an earful on proper manners.

Despite how it may have appeared, it could have been argued that the stallion was not acting out of the ordinary. He may have been forceful in the delivery of his moral, but on a different night, David may well have scooped the girl into his arms, apologised, and then went on his merry way.

Sadly, for obvious reasons, this was not to be the case. “Hey arsehole,” David proclaimed, trying to point to the stallion, but missing the mark with his finger.

Eve’s eyes lit up once she laid them upon her guardian, yet that enthusiasm wavered slightly once she had managed to read his body language. The uneasy balance, the slurred yet angered manner in which he spoke…it reminded her of someone. Still, in her mind, this was better than nothing, so she slowly made her way over towards her carer.

And she notably was not the only one. “You think that you intimidate me when you’re like that? Can you even point me out?” the silver-haired stallion interrogated, verbally pulling David towards him.

“Come over here and tell me that,” David demanded as he staggered forward, having apparently rediscovered some of the force behind his words.

A confrontation at this stage would surely not have benefited David in any way. Unfortunately, both a drunken vigour and a return of life to his fingers gave the human fresh confidence. However, this development was wholly internal, so Globe Trot continued to be unimpressed with the display in front of him.

“You call yourself a ‘parent’, human? Leaving a young filly alone like this while you drink the night away? I can smell it on your breath, even from here.”

The stallion spoke in a well-mannered way. He was somewhat mocking, yet composed and self-assured. The tone of his voice alluded to somepony who was fully in control of the situation, and just made David’s wavering statements appear evermore out-of-sync.

“Just let me take her with me.”

What did not help the situation was Globe Trot’s decision to also advance, leading to the two challengers meeting somewhere in the middle, faces inches away from one another. “And why should I? Why would anypony let her disappear with a drunkard like you? It’s no wonder she behaves the way she does.”

Globe Trot smugly looked up at his challenger, who seemed to be moments away from snapping. The stallion’s hubris was to get the better of him however, as David grabbed the unicorn by the scruff of the neck and glared down at him with contempt.

“Because she’s mine!”

Having run out of patience with Globe Trot, David shrieked in the stallion’s face before forcing him away with an almighty heave. Due to the difference in height between the pair, the stallion was subsequently sent through the air before landing in a heap a short distance away.

Unbeknownst to David, Eve was moments away from reaching him, kept just out of view by Globe Trot’s frame. As such, when the stallion was pushed away, one of his flailing hooves connected firmly with the side of the little girl’s head, knocking her off balance and sending her tumbling at high speed.

It was less the blow to the head that left the little girl in the most pain. The more imminent cause of her suffering would be the way in which she had slid along a mixture of tile and carpet, the friction of which leading to patches of torn skin along the points of impact on her arms and legs.

The resulting screech of pain that emanated from the girl was unsurprising, as was the response to it. David had been more focused on maintaining his own balance during the exchange, and had not seen the reason for Eve’s suffering. Nevertheless, he soon found it- and he had every intention to act on it.

In some ways, it could be argued that the events that followed were justified in some way. Perhaps the stallion was acting far too obtuse; perhaps the stress had become too much; perhaps this could all be blamed on drunken rage- which would never have been a suitable justification.

Perhaps the human was simply looking for an excuse.

Even before Globe Trot could tend to his wounds, he felt David upon him. Several punches to the stallion’s face were enough to draw blood, and a retaliatory strike was more than enough to make the pain mutual. Hooves were harder than hands, it seemed.

As David staggered to his feet, cradling his nose and the fluids that flowed from it, Globe Trot did the same, happy in the assumption that the fight was over. “What did you gain from that? Sating your bloodlust?” he calmly questioned, making an earnest attempt to defuse the situation by taking a few steps back.

But David was not to be dissuaded. He stared down at his hands, already stained red after such a meagre conflict. “You come in here accusing me, commenting on my character…what gives you the right…” he muttered to himself as he fought the urge to breakdown further. “And now you’ve hurt my little girl…”

It is fair to say that the man’s demented antics had drawn quite a crowd. His scuffle somehow did not demand intervention, but he was hardly giving a good first-impression. It looked like he was moments away from disintegrating in the wind.

The most telling sign of his loss of grip on the situation was with Eve herself. If we work with the idea that the girl’s tears marked the beginning of this scuffle, then the silent, blank stare that she now possessed should have signalled to David that perhaps the proceedings had gone ‘too far’. Within all this, he had not even noticed that the little girl had stopped crying.

“That’s enough now; you’ll regret this,” Globe Trot stated to the man. His continued calm demeanour kept him far away from appearing as a third-rate villain, but I suppose that once one has decided that a narrative is true, then there really is no changing it- certainly not in the heat of ‘battle’.

“Please leave her alone…”

For the final nail in this night’s coffin, through teary eyes, David summoned his bow and messily attempted to ready an arrow within it. He did not even look at Globe Trot as he prepared himself, although his tears may have prevented him from recognising the stallion at this point. No excuse of being ‘emotional’ could ever suffice such a loss of control.

I am ashamed of him.

Despite the listlessness of the human’s actions, his decision to arm himself certainly increased the commotion around him. Through all the hushed whispers and declarations of surprise, David could feel his bow be gripped and gently lowered within a familiar, lilac aura.

He immediately recognised the colour, and quickly, a new level of understanding surged through his mind. Bit by bit, a wave of realisation overtook him, and the lost soul soon collapsed to his knees and resigned himself to his fate.

Yet, fate was to be kind to him- or dormant, at least. Eve was the first to reach him, slow to approach yet quick to embrace, and the sorrow was then shared between the pair of them.

Their ragged breathing was clearly audible throughout the ballroom for some time. David could not find the strength to raise his head and glance at the ponies surrounding him, so he instead rose to his feet, Eve still kept within his arms, and stumbled away through the nearest open door, ignoring the distressed calls from that purple alicorn behind him.