(October 16th: 2nd Day Since Capture)

"Rise and shiiiine~"

Neil twitched, eyes snapping open at the sudden, melodious intrusion waking him from sleep. In his half-asleep daze, he wasted precious seconds jerking his head back and forth, looking for the source of the intrusion before he realized that, once again, he was curled up in a bed like an animal with a sheet fully covering him.

Still, he needed to figure out what or who had woken him up. He was just starting to squirm out from underneath the sheet when the tension dissipated. His bedsheet was pulled down to reveal not one but two separate nurses loosening it for him, one on each side of the bed.

A quick, cautious glance told him they were both mares. The first mare had an older, no-nonsense vibe about her as she folded the sheet professionally. She had a pinkish purple coat, a colour that Neil couldn't remember the name of in his drowsy state and a darker green mane with streaks of gray. Whether natural or from age, he couldn't tell.

By contrast, Neil could only describe the second mare as a bronze bombshell. Literally, given her gleaming bronze-coloured coat, sun-blond hair, and patina eyes, which exuded a bubbly playfulness as she looked at him. She was a few steps away from the bed, allowing her aura to mirror the other nurse's efforts.

Neil's upper half was freed soon enough, allowing him just enough time to clamp his front legs down against the bed, pinning the bedsheet down before they could expose his lower belly.

"What the fuck is going on?" He groaned, trying to keep an eye on his two intruders while blinking at the suddenly brighter light streaming into his room.

The younger mare visibly flinched at his choice in vocabulary, but the prim and proper nurse was quick to answer. "The Princess felt it prudent to update your file last night after learning about your inability to use all types of magic." She stated, sounding both strict and posh at the same time. "That is why Nurse Heart and I are here, to help prepare you before your breakfast is delivered. You may call me Nurse Rose."

"Well, Nurse Rose, I can take care of myself well enough," He countered, keeping a firm hold on the sheet despite Nurse Heart's light tugging with her aura. "So if you would kindly get the hell outta here?"

Instead of being outraged or offended, the older mare raised a brow imperiously. "Yes, it was quite clear to me how well you took care of yourself. Garbage-drenched matted fur, loose and twisted feathers, and three separate ticks I had to remove. Let alone the hours I spent untangling the hundreds of knots out of your mane and tail once the specialist finished repairing your horn. You've proven yourself uniquely qualified to take care of yourself."

"Yeah, well, I'd like to see how well you fucking do on the streets without plumbing." He spat somewhat petulantly, surprised at the fact he had ticks living on him.

"Well, as much as I love the smell of a sweaty stallion, we have plumbing here! So let's get you out of bed and washed up for the day," Nurse Heart cheered forcefully, effectively stalling the burgeoning argument. "Um, could you let go of the bedsheet now?"

Was he sweaty? He was tempted to check, but not with both mares there. "I could," Neil answered for the overly cheerful morning pony. "But I'd rather get out of bed without exposing myself."

"Expose yourself?" Nurse Heart asked, confused, "If you mean your ba-"

"Heart! If Neil does not wish to reveal certain things to us, that is his choice." She chided, turning towards the bathroom door while ignoring Nurse Heart's disappointed 'Awwwww'. "Very well, we shall give you a minute while we prepare for you. Do not run away like your vain attempt yesterday."

It didn't take long for Nurse Heart to catch up with Nurse Rose and pass through the door. When it closed, he jumped out of bed and trotted to the exit. As if he was going to allow two mares, one of which was clearly a pervert, to wash him.

Once he was up close and personal, he nudged the door open with his shoulder, hoping to see the same empty hall as he had yesterday. Instead, a metallic gold took up what little he could see through the sliver. A moment later, the door was covered in a brown aura and opened fully. One stallion guard with wings was revealed to be right next to him, while a second was half-hidden by the door, his horn aglow.

"Do you require assistance?" The guard right next to him asked.

Seeing his plan unravelled before it began, he gave a hail mary. "You wouldn't happen to know where the nearest exit is, do you?"

"We do."

Neil gave him a few seconds to elaborate before prodding again. "Can you tell me where it is?"

"We can escort you there once the nurses clear you for the day." He stated with a tone of finality.

"Ah," Was all he said now that he knew his situation. He backed away from the door, and soon enough, the aura dissipated, allowing it to freely swing closed on its own. "Fucking Asshole," He muttered when he thought the guard couldn't hear him. Now what? That was the question as he idly walked to the nearest window.

There were at least two guards in the hallway. Two nurses were in his bathroom, one drooling for the chance to visually molest him. The other already had an up close and personal look while he was knocked unconscious, which made him feel antsy as hell. Her only saving grace was her professionalism so far. He didn't think she did anything more perverted than stealing a look or two.

The idea of hopping out of a window briefly popped into his head. But he shut that down, knowing he was four floors up. Even if he survived the fall from that height, he'd be unable to walk, let alone escape. The second major flaw was the amount of guards. He spotted multiple pairs on the walls, in the skies, and patrolling the grounds, all of which could easily spot him as he fell. For a brief moment, Neil thought the Captain might have had a hand in that, changing the patrol pattern to keep his room always watched. And the final flaw? He couldn't see any way to open the window.

He picked up the faintest squeak of a hinge before Nurse Rose called into the room, "We're ready for you. Hurry up, lest your breakfast shows up before you're ready."

Knowing Heart was a unicorn and that she would probably relish the chance to envelop her aura over his entire body, he reluctantly complied. She was kind enough to hold the door open for him as he surveyed what passed for modern pony plumbing for the first time.

Nurse Heart was sitting in the shower area, with multiple bottles of shampoo, conditioner, brushes, and other cleaning products sitting at the ready beside her. Just from his quick glance, he estimated four ponies his size or six more Nurse Hearts could fit inside before it felt too cramped. Why ponies needed such a large area for a shower, he couldn't fathom at the moment, but it took up an entire third of the room.

About three feet from the shower was a trough-like structure built into the floor, slanting towards the wall. A bar was set into the wall, sticking two-ish feet out and only a little below the height of his back. He might have questioned what it was without the paper roll hanging from a little stand near the front of the trough. He even spotted a small pedal built into the base of the toilet paper stand, which he assumed was to flush the pony toilet.

The sink was in the opposite corner from the shower, complete with a mirror and a fluffy hand towel. Neil only gave it a cursory glance when he entered. But as he walked by, he froze, catching the barest hint of blue. Uncaring what the nurses thought, he stepped back a few paces and veered toward the mirror.

He'd seen vague reflections of himself before, mostly at night in shop windows or the fountain he drank at. Now, however, there was an immaculate depiction standing before him. He ignored the state of his fur, hair, and wings. With his new neck, he could look at those anytime. At first, he spared a cursory glance at his horn. The bottom half was covered in white plaster, which he presumed to be a cast to help his recovery. A ring with a sapphire set into the metal was also at the base of his horn, melded into the dressing.

However, What drew Neil's attention was the large, comically sized pony eyes that stared back at him. Despite the difference in size, he recognized that particular shade of blue-grey. Those were his eyes, down to the lightening-esque patterned furrows surrounding the iris. Unknown emotions welled within him. Previously, he thought the only humanity left within him was his mind. But this proved, without a doubt, that at least one part of his humanity survived physically on this body...

Only for Nurse Rose to yank him back from his inner maelstrom as he felt a hoof press against his shoulder. "Are you alright Neil?" She asked primly, "You've been staring at your reflection for over a minute."

"I'm fine," He snapped, ripping his gaze away from the mirror and his shoulder from her touch. "Let's just get this over with."

Nurse Rose's imperious brow told him she knew something was wrong, but she didn't comment on his behaviour as they walked side by side towards the shower. Once inside the glass shower, he plopped onto his butt in the center and brought his legs together, ensuring Nurse Heart couldn't peek at him as he waited for them to do their thing.

If the younger nurse noticed his actions, she didn't react as her aura took hold of a small, unusual object. It was a piece of paper that appeared to be folded into a long cone. He only had a moment to wonder what the hell it was for before she deftly slipped it over his horn with her aura. He could hear the sound of paper crinkling, though he couldn't see what was done.

After that, her green-blue aura danced around the shower as various objects came to life. First was a brush, which she passed to Nurse Rose, and was quickly slipped over the elder nurse's hoof. At the same time, a bottle of shampoo zipped from the ground and over his head, only to be met with a detachable shower head. Water was the only missing factor, quickly remedied as the hot and cold knobs were enveloped and turned together.

Neil immediately tensed, expecting a deluge of freezing cold water. Instead, the water was mildly warm.

"Is the water hot enough for you Cutie? Or would you like me to turn up the heat?" She asked innocently, though her smile was a touch more playful than it was previously.

"It could be a little warmer," He conceded neutrally, unsure if she intended the innuendo or if it was an innocent slip.

Once Nurse Heart dialled in on his preferred temperature, she slowly levitated the shower head around his entire body, leaving him drenched from head to tail. Trailing behind was the shampoo bottle, leaving small dollops every three to four inches along his back. Near the end, she held the water spray against his legs, obviously waiting for him to move. But he adamantly denied her access to the parts she most wanted to oggle.

During that time, Nurse Rose stood on his opposite side. She started with his neck, lightly scrubbing the shampoo into his fur and hair with a small, concise, circular pattern. When the mare reached his shoulder, Neil felt himself starting to relax under her care. She was shifting to his front right leg when Nurse Heart turned off the water with a knob on the shower head and placed it aside.

A second, perhaps two, passed after that before he felt a second brush make contact with his butt. "Fuck!" He jolted upright, his tail firmly clenched as he turned, glaring at the floating brush, then at the unicorn wielding it. "What the hell do you think you're doing?"

She seemed genuinely surprised by his reaction, "Um, scrubbing you down like we're supposed to..?"

Nurse Rose, who was also caught off guard and pushed aside by his sudden movement, took a moment to glance at her now damp coat in mild annoyance before adding her own opinion. "Neil, we're here to prepare you for the day. That includes scrubbing your posterior, which I might remind you, I have done once before. Still," She added, looking to her fellow nurse, "I think Nurse Heart was a little too eager in her duties, starting where she did."

Nurse Heart was more than a little eager, or so Neil thought. She was downright thirsty for some alicorn, and he wasn't willing to give. He also wasn't a fan of the way she blithely threw in his face how she washed his ass before. "And what exactly are you preparing me for?"

"Whatever it is you wish to do today, whether it be exploring the castle or reading a book," She brushed aside before adding sternly, "But you simply must look your best, or you may give the Nobility the wrong impression when you inevitably meet!"

Meeting the nobility? As if he would willingly talk with pompous assholes like them. "Why the fuck should I care about that?"

Nurse Heart was quick to offer a not-so-helpful suggestion. "Because a good first impression is a great way to make some friends?"

'Like how you keep trying to molest me with your eyes?' Went unsaid as he scoffed. "It would be better if they didn't know I exist," He then turned towards Nurse Rose. "Speaking of, now that I think about it, who knows about me?"

She didn't answer right away, clearly thinking about her answer. Why, though, Neil couldn't exactly guess. Eventually, she told him, "Right after it was confirmed you were a legitimate alicorn, the entirety of the senior castle staff, the infirmary staff, and the castle garrison were informed of your existence yesterday morning. The Princesses know as well, obviously. The only other ponies that know of your existence would be the three city guards mentioned in the report. And having been sworn to secrecy, I can only deduce that those three guards were also sworn to silence by the Princesses."

That not-so-little revelation had Neil sitting back down on his haunches. "The guard, you and the rest of the infirmary, and the castle staff?" He groaned, knowing the cat had not only escaped the bag, but shredded it to small, irreparable pieces. "Why not tell the whole fucking world at this point?"

"We can't. That's the whole point of being sworn to secrecy!" Nurse Heart oh-so-helpfully reminded him. "It's up to the Princesses when your coronation is, you silly colt."

"And what the hell is a coronation?" He asked, trying to ignore the creeping dread bristling his fur at the base of his neck.

"Oh, it's a wonderful party!" She cheered, almost bouncing in place from her excitement. "I was there for the previous one when Princess Twilight was coronated, and now there's going to be a second one. Imagine that, being alive for two coronations!"

Before he could thoroughly sift through her babble, Nurse Rose reasserted herself. "Yes, imagine that. I was alive when Princess Cadenza was crowned, you know," She informed her colleague as she returned to her scrubbing duties on his leg. "So Neil's soon-to-be coronation will be my third. Now, start from the neck and work your way down."

Neil was too busy sorting out his thoughts about this new bombshell that was dropped on him. They wanted to give him a crown? Make him a leader, just like Twilight, a princess he'd heard of in passing and this entirely new Cadenza? What the fuck was wrong with them, and why did they think he was qualified? Was this Celestia's plan all along? Play the long game, tie him down with responsibilities, and hope he goes native? Or was he jumping to conclusions again?

He kept his thoughts to himself for once as both nurses continued their scrubbing. It wasn't long before he was a single giant blob of bubbles with long, scraggly black hair and a head. Nurse Heart even learned her lesson earlier during the rubdown, leaving anything even remotely sensitive to Nurse Rose. The older nurse did her job professionally, only skirting the edge in a few areas that Neil mentally deemed too far.

Nurse Rose took a step back, giving him a quick look before signalling Nurse Heart to pick up the shower head and turn on the water. The temperature was just as warm as before as the suds covering him were washed away. Once he was done, they quickly doused their brushes and started the process again with a second bottle.

A third was added after that, this one being the first with a strong scent of mixed citrus fruits. They didn't use much either, adding small dabs to areas like where Neil's armpits should have been, his chest, and the base of his neck before rubbing it in. He assumed it was some sort of scented deodorant as they quickly finished.

Nurse Heart quickly placed everything back in its original place and turned the water knobs off with her telekinesis. Her aura didn't fade from her horn, though. Instead, it grew brighter, and she concentrated on him and Nurse Rose.

Neil was about to ask what she was doing, only for the aura to flash. One second, he felt the weight of his damp fur pulling him down towards the floor. The next second? It was gone. He was perfectly dry, alongside Nurse Rose and the entire shower stall. He thought they might have been done for a second, but then the now dry brushes were rearmed to assault his coat and make it presentable.

Two more tools joined Nurse Heart's floating collection, the first being a comb that attacked his mane. The second was a weird, comb-like metal tool with well-spaced prongs. This triggered an odd sensation as it brushed along his wings, gliding in between and sorting out his feathers. He didn't know precisely what it did, but his feathers looked straighter and smoother after she was done. Soon after, she was also done combing his hair, at which point she tried to add a ribbon. However, a glare from Neil was enough to make her back down from that course of action. She was also smart enough to pass the comb to Nurse Rose when ready, allowing the elder mare to straighten his tail without pulling it aside or revealing anything.

Neil spoke only after Nurse Rose offered the comb back for Nurse Heart to put away. "Are you done?"

"Your mane and tail are still lacking, but aside from an accent ribbon or two, we aren't stylists." She readily admitted as she walked a complete circle around him, looking for any detail out of place. "In my opinion? Yes, until you get some accessories to spruce you up, you appear as presentable as we can make you."

"What she's trying to say is you're hot, just not smoking hot. Yet!" Nurse Heart added, brushing up against his side with her rump as she trotted out of the shower.

Against his better judgement, Neil followed, with Nurse Rose taking up the rear as they exited back into his room. It was clear that another nurse had entered his room and left already. The adjustable table Nurse Mint had been working at the previous day was moved to his bed, which had been remade and had a large bowl of something sitting on it. Whatever it was, its sweet smell had had enough time to permeate the room while he was being cleaned.

Nurse Heart was already waiting for him at the far side of his bed.

"It would seem we're a little behind schedule, which is unfortunate." Nurse Rose stated while standing beside him. "Do you require our assistance, given your inability to hold items?"

"I think I can handle eating on my own," He groused, walking up to the table to see what he would be eating. It looked like some kind of pink porridge but with plenty of cut strawberries. "Otherwise, I would have starved to death weeks ago."

"Very well. In that case, Nurse Heart and I had better get a start on our paperwork." She informed him as she made her way to the door leading out of his room. It was clear Nurse Heart wanted to stay and help, but after a quick "Come along now" To prompt her along, Nurse Heart left her position to catch up.

Before they exited the room, Neil cleared his throat. "If you don't mind, I could use Nurse Heart for a minute or two." While he wouldn't say he trusted either mare, Neil felt he could rely more on Nurse Rose's professionalism.

Unfortunately, he needed Nurse Heart's telekinesis more. A decision he immediately regretted when her ears shot upright, and a noticeable shiver travelled down her entire back, all the way to her twitching tail.

She immediately turned broadside to him, a look of surprised elation painted over her muzzle.

Nurse Rose merely quirked her trademark eyebrow, as if asking about his sudden turn-around concerning her fellow nurse? "You heard the stallion. Just don't overdo it, lest he requires another shower." And with that parting remark, she slipped out the door.

Nurse Heart had just enough patience to allow the door to settle before the excitement in her eyes faded into something far more amorous. "Soooo... Playing hard to get in front of Prim Rose? You're a naughty colt. Do you want a special, one-on-one medicinal massage?" To accentuate her point, she swayed her rump from side to side as she intentionally flagged her tail.

Neil was slightly caught off guard by the sudden switch between the bubbly nurse and seductress. He was thankful that, at this angle, he couldn't see what was swaying around underneath her tail. "Actually, I need you to send a message to Celestia if you can do that?"

That simple request pulled the wind out of her sails, as her ears clearly drooped and her tail went to half-flagged. But only for a moment before she perked up once more. "Sure I can! I can also bring back her reply if you want one?"

"If she needs to reply, just leave it on the table." He offered, though he was sure Celestia wouldn't reply with a simple letter. "I won't be here after I finish breakfast."

"Oh. In that case, I'll see you tomorrow?" She asked hopefully, as her bubbly personality returned. "Anyway, let's get this letter started!" Her horn lit up, and a clipboard Neil hadn't noticed before lifted up from the end of his bed. She slipped a piece of parchment from it, with what appeared to be an empty chart on one side, and flipped it over to the blank side. She quickly positioned the pencil attached to the board by a piece of string, ready to write.

"Okay, I want you to write this down, word for word." He told her, pausing momentarily to think of the best way to say it before delivering his message. "Celestia, I've recently learned that you plan to conscript me into your government with a coronation. If that is true, I may feel the need to go for a tour along the tallest plateau in Canterlot. I might even take a dive if I feel like it."

He waited for Nurse Heart to look up before nodding to confirm the end of his message. She quickly returned the clipboard with her telekinesis. Still, she was also looking at the message, then him, then back to the message, confused.

"Is this some sort of weird alicorn code? I mean, if you want a tour of Canterlot, I could ask? I think it would be fun after being cooped up in the castle! Then after, we could go to my apartment," She offered, a touch of lust bleeding into her expression once more before she reigned it in. "If you want, of course."

Neil took the diplomatic route, "We'll see what Celestia says," Before he prodded her to leave. "So, are you going to deliver that?"

"Can do. See you later Cutie!" She flipped around and trotted to the door. Her forgotten tail was still half-flagged, forcing Neil to stare intently at his porridge until he heard the door close.

The first thing he did was release an aggravated sigh to vent some of his frustrations. He didn't know what it was, but the longer Nurse Heart talked with her perky naivety, the less he wanted to make her sad. He hated making a girl cry just as much as the next guy, but something about her proximity compounded it. Perhaps it was her weird, not-so-innocent innocence?

It was something he could think about later. For now, he had an alicorn-sized bowl to scarf down, and then... what? Besides getting out of his room, of course. He pressed his muzzle against the table ledge, pushing it away from his bed. He was tall enough that he could eat standing up. That way, he wouldn't wrinkle or accidentally spill on his newly folded bedsheets.

Once the table cleared his bed, he dove in muzzle first. Like most pony food, it was a near-euphoric experience. But he could tell right away they added more than just strawberries. It was very, very sweet to the point where he could almost imagine his human teeth rotting on contact. The fact that this was a recommended breakfast in a hospital confused him.

Despite the excessive sweetness, he still finished the bowl quickly. There was also a glass of water set aside, but he didn't want to risk tipping it over in an attempt to drink from it. Instead, he could kill two birds with one stone as he returned to the bathroom.

He found himself staring at his reflection for the second time that day, but he ignored it this time. He hooked his wrist over the knob coloured blue on the sink and pulled, turning the water on at full blast. He quickly slaked his thirst and washed the excess porridge off his muzzle before pushing the knob back off with his hoof.

Neil gave the hand towel hanging beside the sink a quick nuzzle with both sides of his muzzle, doing a decent job of drying himself off. He ignored the odd short hair that stuck at odd angles as he gave himself one final look in the mirror. He was finally good to go and leave this accursed hospital room for the last time, hopefully...

After taking care of his morning business, now that he had a private moment to think about those needs. He exited the bathroom ten minutes later, feeling far more refreshed.

His empty bowl was still on the table, confirming that no other nurses had entered his room. He couldn't carry it, and even if he could, he had no idea where to drop it off. So he left it where it sat as he pushed through his door and into the hallway.

Both of the guards were there, standing at attention. "Do you require assistance?" The pegasus stallion asked in the same neutral tone as before.

"Yes," He answered, trying to match the guard's blasé attitude. "First of all, can I leave?"

"Nurses Prim Rose and Passion Heart cleared you for the day, Sir." The pegasus guard confirmed.

That was a nice tidbit of good news for Neil. "Good. Now, can you escort me to the nearest exit into Canterlot?"

"By order of Captain Buckler, we can't allow you near the castle exits, Sir."

That tidbit of information wasn't so good. "Uh, didn't you say earlier you could take me to the exit?" He asked, swearing that the guard said the opposite earlier that morning.

"We can escort you to the nearest exit of this building, Sir."

Neil felt the sudden urge to slam his head and, by proxy, his horn into the nearest wall. "Can you lead me to the library then?"

"We can, Sir." He offered, not moving a single millimetre.

"...Fine, keep playing this bullshit game." He said, walking past the two guards. At least, he tried. The pegasus flanked on his right side while the unicorn trotted to his left before matching Neil's pace, just like Celestia's guards positioned themselves the previous day.

"Keep going straight until you hit the opposite end of the infirmary," The pegasus informed Neil without prompting. "After that turn left, go through the back exit, and keep going straight until you run into the staircase. Go down after that."

Neil followed his directions. Still, a small part of him wondered what would happen if he veered off the path. Would the guard harp at him like a cheap GPS? Or would the guard stay silent, allowing him to get lost?

He didn't experiment. Instead, he tried to ask the guards questions. Some were about the castle, others were about Celestia or Captain Buckler. None of the answers were satisfactory, being short and to the point with as little information as possible. 'I have a feeling Captain Asshat still doesn't like me.' He was split on whether that was a good thing or not.

After the stairs, which Neil took with extreme caution, the guard simply told him to go straight until a set of double doors came up on his left. Not much time passed, maybe five minutes, before he spotted the set of doors the pegasus spoke about. Both doors were a simple, two-tone brown rectangle pattern, with three red diamonds in the centre of each one.

Without fanfare, Neil went to bite down on the handle, but the unicorn was quicker. He enveloped the metal bar with his aura and pulled it open to reveal a large, open entrance hall at least two floors tall with a massive curved desk to his right.

"Well, well, it seems I have some visitors. Come in, come in!" An elderly voice called out from behind the desk. A grandmotherly unicorn with a faded yellow coat sat on a big, comfy-looking office chair. Her aged grey hair was done up in a messy bun, and she wore thick bottle-cap glasses with flimsy-looking wireframes. To help keep her glasses securely tethered, she also had a delicate gold chain attached to the frame, wrapping around the back of her neck. "You must be new, Sonny-colt. Come here so I can take a good look at you."

Unsure of what exactly was going on, Neil complied. Slowly. He noted that the guards followed him into the library instead of posting themselves at the door as he hoped they would.

"Now, don't be shy; trot on up!" The elder continued her vocal assessment as he walked closer to the desk. "Yep, definitely new. I would have remembered a tall, dark, and broody stallion if I'd seen you before. And no wonder! What happened to your horn?"

As a librarian, she was undoubtedly talkative. And her comment about him looking broody had him second-guessing himself. He wasn't broody, right? "I'm told it was cracked after I ran into a guard," He told her honestly.

"Ouch. At least you survived the experience. But why would you go and do a dumb thing like..." She paused, her comically enhanced eyes narrowing to look at him closely while leaning over to look at his right side. The next moment, her eyes widened as she likely spotted a wing folded against his side. "Hallowed hardcopy, you're the fella we were told about! The male alicorn!" She declared almost reverently. "Never in my wildest dreams did I think I'd see a stallion to match the Princesses, yet here you stand in my library."

Neil had no idea how to handle the situation. However, just the thought that he could match Celestia in any way? He couldn't help but chuckle. "Heh, I'm not matching anyone at the moment."

"You'll get better in time. For example, I've worked in this library for nearly a century, yet I'm as spry as I was in my fifties. All in the mind, you know? Now, if I remember the briefing right, you had a foreign name. Niles? Is that it?"

"Close. It's Neil, Ms.?"

"Mrs. Tome Keeper, Head Librarian of the Canterlot Castle Archives. And before you get any ideas, Sonny-prince, I'll hold that title until I die. No retiring for this old nag, no matter what the Princesses say! So don't you start either."

"You don't have to worry about me, Mrs. Keeper," He conceded, unsure why she thought he could revoke her title. "I'm not a prince, so I can't do a thing about your job. I came here to do some research."

"Research? Well, then, you came to the right place! What are you looking for?" She asked, hopping off her chair with far more grace than Neil expected, given her frail-looking body. "I'd suggest spellwork, but you won't be touching those for a good few weeks at least."

"I'm new to Equestria, so I hoped to get some history books about the country, the Princesses, and the guard." He told her while keeping an eye on the elderly mare. He didn't want her to fall and injure herself on his account. "Also, we may speak the same language, but you have four ways of writing it. I'll need a primer for that, and the most up-to-date text covering every other country."

Tome Keeper walked about a quarter ways along her desk before her horn lit up red, and a section of the desk flipped up. "Well, if you want a primer on modern Equish, that can be found in the linguistics section right in front of my desk." She told him as she walked over to that specific section of shelves.

Neil was quick to follow, and the guards kept close to him.

"This will work fine enough," She said confidently as her red aura manifested again. This time, it covered the spine of a book near the top of the shelf before she brought it down in front of him. The Ins and Outs of Modern Equish, was the title. "But if you want the real ins and outs of the written words, I would recommend an in-depth history book focused solely on the evolution to modern Equish."

She gave a critical eye, not to the books or the shelves, but at the two guards trailing Neil. Until she pointed at the unicorn, that is. "You!" The text in her aura immediately floated over to the guard. "You're on book-carrying duty since Neil's horn is busted."

The guard quickly saluted and said, "Yes, Ma'am!" before her red levitation was replaced with his brown. He promptly deposited the book onto his back, where it surprisingly stayed as the group walked over to the history section.

Once there, Tome Keeper went to work. Pulling one book after another from the surrounding shelves. Each covered different topics that fell roughly into the categories Neil had asked for. He wouldn't be starved for information, that was for sure. At one point, after the fourth book he couldn't read the title of passed by, Neil had to admit he couldn't read certain types of writing. Tome was quick to brush his worry aside, identifying Unicornian Hieroglyphs and Sky-Writing as the culprits before boasting that almost every book in the archive had a copy written in Unified Script. She quickly and easily replaced the books he couldn't read in less than a minute. By the time she was done, three stacks of books were balanced on the unicorn guard's back.

Each stack was at least six books deep, yet they didn't topple despite his movement's slight back-and-forth sway. Neil's first thought was some form of telekinesis? The guard's horn wasn't glowing, but that was a possibility. It was also a question for another time. As it was, Neil had more than enough reading material for the next month, let alone the rest of the day, to get through.

Soon enough, Tome Keeper led them to an area where eight separate sections would have intersected if not for the large, open reading area set up. Neil's first impression was a giant eight-point compass, with each section sitting on a cardinal or intercardinal direction. Of the twelve tables there, eight were set in a loose circle pattern. Leaving ample space in between to pass by and access the final four tables in the center that also pointed north, south, east, and west. At least, Neil assumed they were pointing in the correct direction.

Either way, he was quick to claim the closest table set in the circle, not that there was any pony in the library to compete with. The guard carrying his books also took the hint as he gently levitated all twenty-one books onto the table before Neil.

"That should be enough to keep you busy for the rest of the day," Tome said with a certain amount of satisfaction. "And don't you worry none about any books you don't get through. Drop by the desk, and I'll have your library card ready. Happy reading!" She then shuffled off, back where they came from, with a happy little hop in her step.

This left Neil alone. Just himself, a large pile of books, and the two silent guards. Each of them silently claimed an end of the table to stand guard at.

Neil felt that without Tome Keeper there, his two escorts would be just as helpful as they were before entering the library. So, biting the proverbial bullet, he used both front hooves to carefully clamp down on the top book of the right pile and lower it aside. He did this twice more until he uncovered the history overview he was looking for.

If not for the title, the section it was removed from, and its thickness, Neil would have thought the brightly coloured cover of Equestria Throughout the Ages wasn't a history book. It looked more like a whimsical travel guide, with its happy depiction of a miniature Canterlot on a mountain, a knock-off New York to the side, and even a city floating on a cloud behind the title.

At the very least, it questioned the book's authority as he nudged the cover open with a hoof. Instead of a cover page, there was a short message from the author.

Greetings Dear Reader,

It humbles my heart that you would choose to read my historical textbook. I have dedicated my life to the historiography of our fair kingdom, and I take no greater pride than to share my knowledge with you. I must warn you, though, Dear Reader. Not all ages were as bright or as tranquil as our modern era. Some periods, like the Reign of Eris, were times of great evil and despair. I have done my best to document these travesties despite their unsettling contents.

I do not blame you if you wish to skip over those sections or set aside this text. I just ask that you remember, through the bravery and courage of our Princesses, their radiance always shines away the darkness.

-History Buff

This did not help his opinion on the matter. Still, misgivings or not, he pressed his nose against the paper and flipped page after page to the introductory chapter.

~~~

Neil lost track of time. Had he spent an hour reading? Or had it been hours? He couldn't tell as he slowly and methodically did his best to understand the history text in front of him. But it was hard. Even with the author going into minute details, he couldn't deny that events in equestrian history read like pure fantasy.

It also confirmed the events Celestia talked to him about, repeating her retelling almost word for word, with only a minor, if pointless, difference here and there. Neil would have thought Celestia learned from this textbook if not for two glaring facts.

First, she was often cited as the primary source of information from the Age of Eris and onwards. Of course, these could be quotes from the original Celestia. Or the current Celestia could be quoting her ancestors.

The second was a page near the end of the chapter covering Eris' Reign. An entire page was dedicated to a single colour photo, showing an authentic painting created shortly after Eris' imprisonment. Its contents revealed Princess Celestia and Princess Luna standing side by side in victory, with six intricately cut jewels hovering around them. In the background, two of each pony tribe also stood, adoring the two saviours. Neil wasn't sure if it was just the painting's perspective, but Celestia and Luna looked closer in height to the regular ponies instead of how she towered over her two guards yesterday.

There was no doubt that this had to be Celestia's ancestor. But how? They were identical twins, except for their height. A small part of him needled that maybe, just maybe, it was Celestia. The current one. But then again, what did he really know about this place? Despite his time here, he hadn't seen a single kid. For all he knew, children could look like identical copies of either parent.

He was four centuries into the Great Era of Peace, when his ears perked up. The rhythmic sound of metal shoes and moving armour came up from behind him. Prying himself from his not-so-riveting text, he quickly glanced at each of his guards. Neither had reacted in any way as the new armoured pony came closer.

With a mental shrug at their apparent apathy, he turned with his neck just in time to spot the surprise of all surprises, sarcasm included: a pony with white fur, white wings, and well-fitting golden armour that had just breached the shelves. This stallion, however, was at least a few inches taller than the pegasus that escorted him and visibly muscular. He was strangely familiar, but Neil brushed it aside as all the guards were white, like a weird uniform. Or Celestia's secret kink.

The new guard stopped one body length away from Neil and saluted. His armoured hoof stopped just millimetres short of making what would likely have been a resounding clang against his helmet. And there he stayed, staring unblinkingly at Neil.

Neil, for his part, gave a pointed look at the shorter pegasus, then the unicorn, expecting them to do something. But they just stood there. Begrudgingly, Neil swung out of his chair and stood facing the guard. After a second, he also nodded to the new guard, which was apparently good enough.

He promptly lowered his hoof with a distinct clack, then spoke with a noticeable southern United States accent. "Private Bulk Order, reporting as ordered, Sir!"

Before Neil could even think of a proper response, his pegasus escort did so for him. "Reporting under whose orders, Private?"

Private Bulk was just as quick to answer while still keeping his eyes on Neil. "Princess Celestia's, Sergeant Gust."

"Carry on then," The Sergeant ordered with a touch less bluster.

Neil guessed that name-dropping Celestia meant this was something serious. Of course, it took a few seconds of silence until it finally clicked that he was supposed to jump into the conversation. "So, what does Celestia want now?"

"Beggin' your pardon, Sir, but Princess Celestia sent me here at my request." He admitted, with only a hint of... something hidden underneath his military professionalism. "I came to apologize."

"Okaaay?" Neil stretched, trying to think of some guard that seriously wronged him while he was on the streets. As far as he knew, the guard didn't even know he existed until he was found. He came up with nothing. "And what the hell do you need to apologize for?"

"I didn' mean for anything to happen firsta all," Private Bulk explained, "But I was the fella you ran into, that caused your horn to crack. I'm sorry for causin' you harm."

Once again, Neil's mind swerved back to that night. The rain, the chase, and the large, imposing pegasus that appeared out of nowhere, the same pegasus that now stood in front of him before all he knew was all-consuming pain. He couldn't help but physically flinch at the fresh remnants plaguing his mind. "Neither of us could see around that corner or react in time," Neil eventually offered diplomatically. "Anything else?"

"Either way, I feel like I've wronged you," Private Bulk apologized earnestly. "I've submitted my request to join your personal guard. Princess Celestia gave her okay, so long as you agree as well, Sir."

Neil couldn't contain his groan as he immediately spat out, "I need less fucking guards babysitting me, not more."

"... As you wish, Sir." Private Bulk offered, his visible presence deflating to match his now dejected tone. "The Princess also requests that you join her for dinner tonight." Apparently, that was the entirety of his message as he turned around to leave.

When Neil called after him, Private Bulk was about to reach the shelves. "If I say yes, are you going to replace one of these two?" It would be better to have one of his guards feeling indebted to him, at the very least, compared to none.

The large pegasus froze, then slowly turned around. "Um, not today Sir. I'll act as an attaché for the rest of the day and be a permanent guard tomorrow." He admitted, somewhat hopefully.

"What the hell is an attaché?"

"I don' know the exact meanin'," Private Bulk admitted, "But I guess I'm your personal servant for the day?"

"That... doesn't sound all that useful at the moment," Neil shrugged, turning around so he could gesture towards his book stacks with a hoof.

"Well Sir, if you thinka needin' anythin' I'm here." Private Bulk offered, sitting behind and slightly to the left of Neil's chair.

Neil was somewhat weirded out by Private Bulk's choice of spot but didn't say anything as he climbed back into his seat. He found the paragraph where he left off, something about settlers heading northeast, and continued his research.

Five pages later, while reading about the founding of Trottingham (and the following squabbles between griffons and ponies), a portrait of a mare popped up wearing a dapper-looking bowtie. Apparently, she was both the leader of the settler caravan, the founder of Trottingham and the mayor for the next twenty-three years. At first, he disregarded it as a minor fact, something he would never need to know. But the picture kept nagging him.

It wasn't until he turned back the page, looked over the miniature portrait again, and focused on the bowtie that it clicked. 'Ponies wear clothing, Dumbass!' And he now had someone to get him clothing to blend in and hide what he was.

Still looking at the page, Neil addressed his new attaché. "Bulk, I have a question for you."

"What is it Sir?" Private Bulk replied immediately.

"Do you know any clothing shops that sell in my size?"

"I know a few that deal with larger stallions like us, Sir." Private Bulk answered a little too fast. "Is there anythin' specific you need?"

"I can think of a few things I'd like," Neil shared warily, 'If I was still human, at least,' Went unsaid. "I just don't know the proper outfits in Canterlot."

Private Bulk was more than willing to jump at the opportunity. "If you want, I can help with that. Just have to hop over to the fancy places, pick up a few tuxes, maybe a tophat, and drop 'em off for the Royal Tailor. She'll have you fitted in no time Sir."

Neil immediately commented on the most startling aspect of Private Bulk's answer. "This Royal Tailor already knows about me?" After the pegasus nodded, Neil continued. "Fine, and when you say tux, are you talking about the full thing or just the front half?"

"I'm not sure what you mean by that," Private Bulk admitted after a few seconds. "If you just get a flashy lapel, it covers the neck. A full tux ends about here," He gestured up and down his side, maybe an inch past his wing joint.

Neil sighed, hoping that wasn't the case. "That's just the top half of a tuxedo," He started, hopping off his seat. The alicorn then poked Bulk on his ankle just above his armoured hoof. "I'm talking the full thing, which has long sleeves starting here, covering your entire front leg, and ending about here," He then poked the stallion in the side, below where the armour plating ended, roughly where Neil felt a human waist should be. "And overlapping with a matching pair of pants."

Private Bulk just stared at him with a look of utter confusion.

"You do know what pants are, right?"

"I know what pants are Sir." Private Bulk answered, still looking at him like he'd grown a second head. "It's just, the only pony I ever saw wearin' 'em was a rodeo clown. You'd stick out like a cracked hoof in Canterlot wearin' a pair."

Of course, this fucked up world would make pants unwearable. If men wore pants, you wouldn't be able to molest them with your eyes! "Damnit. In that case, is there anything I could wear that would cover my body without looking weird?"

"If I may Sir, why do you need clothes?" Private Bulk quickly raised a hoof, gesturing for Neil to pause before he continued. "If I knew what you were goin' for, I might know a thing or two to suggest that aren't pants."

That made sense, although Neil was dubious if Private Bulk would understand the why. He took a moment to think before stating his reasons. "Okay. If ponies see this, and this," He gestured to his horn first, then to his wings, "They think alicorn and freak out, right? So, I want something that can cover my wings and crotch at the very least. Maybe a hat, too, if it can cover my dumbass headspike."

Private Bulk gave him a slow nod while obviously thinking. "I can sorta understand keepin' yourself a secret for now. Hmm... I've seen ponies all over Equestria wearin' cloaks to keep rain off. I've also seen mages wearin' robes in Canterlot, too."

Two articles of clothing that sounded like they would fit the bill? That was more than enough for Neil. "Good enough. Can you pick me up one of each today? I'll pay you back the moment I get some money."

"Ain't no store in Canterlot that sells pre-made mage robes. Those are custom fit only." Private Bulk denied nervously. "I can drop by the Royal Tailor for that, then go out and get a cloak?"

"That'll have to do," Neil said as he shifted to stand parallel with Private Bulk. Comparing heights, Neil's back was three-ish inches taller than the pegasus guard. "Just get one that hangs low enough to touch your hooves. Maybe even lower if you can find one."

"Can do Sir. Anythin' else?"

Neil hopped back into his chair before giving his next request. "Yeah. Drop the Sir bullshit. Until I say otherwise, it's just Neil, alright?"

"As you command," He paused as if suffering from indecision for just a moment before he pushed on, "Neil."

"Not bad at all," Neil joked with a smirk. "I need someone willing to say if I'm about to do some stupid bullshit like the pants thing. Just don't tell Celestia if I do it anyway, alright?"

"Neil, I'm tellin' you now it's against the law to falsify or omit information from my reports."

"See? It's already working Bulk. Now, I have to get back to my research, and you need to pick up my disguises. I'll talk to you when you get back?"

"I'll return as soon as I can Neil." He emphasized his promise with a nod, then left.

Without any more excuses, Neil returned to his oh-so-fun research. 'Era of Peace? More like the Era of Fucking Boredom...'

~~~

If he was asked, Neil would have denied it. But in the end, he skipped to the Modern Era after the next one hundred years, covering the Era of Peace. Or the Era of the Alicorns, as History Buff called it. Unfortunately, it went from boring history back into the realm of fantasy.

Plot twist. Nightmare Moon, the evil alicorn previously mentioned a thousand years earlier, hadn't just tragically defeated Princess Luna all those years ago. No, she was Nightmare Moon! At least, the book stated she was corrupted by an evil spirit calling itself Nightmare Moon. Either way, she was somehow restored to sanity by Celestia's newest student, a young but magically gifted mare named Twilight Sparkle. In fact, Twilight featured prominently throughout the book's final chapter, including the return of the Crystal Empire, which he took particular interest in.

As it was the final chapter, it had to end sooner or later. But the author chose to end with an epic climax, where Twilight's feats finally culminated in her ascension as an alicorn.

Is that what Celestia meant when she blew out his eardrums? She thought he was somehow chosen by some unknown energy of the world to lead? How? Why? He hadn't done anything nearly as impressive as Twilight Sparkle, if Twilight really did any of the things stated in this book.

Not wanting to think about it, he started on his next book. Now that he knew about his guard detail, he dug through the pile until he found a detailed history aptly titled Encyclopedia of the Equestrian Armed Forces, covering Equestria's solar guard and lunar guard.

It started off interesting enough, going into detail about the origins of the guard. This included what relatively little was known about the military might of the three individual nations that later merged into Equestria. They were known as the Kingdom of Unicornia, the Earthen Dominion, and The Roaming Empire.

In fact, after a scant few pages covering both Unicornia and the Earthen Dominion, the book's first fifth focused solely on the Roaming Empire. Most of Equestria's modern military doctrine, armaments, armour, ranks, and basic military structure came from this nation. And remained relatively unchanged, as well.

After that interesting dump of information, the rest of the book devolved into dry facts about every individual squad, company, battalion, and brigade. This included statistics, exploits, and notable leaders during specific periods, most of which he skipped over. The only exception was confirming that General Pilum led the army against King Sombra of the Crystal Empire.

He also learned the history of the castle garrison and the detachments of solar and lunar guards that patrolled the castle grounds. Dating back to Roam, every pegasus had to enlist for an unknown amount of years. This included stallions, despite the gender ratio of the time. Still, these postings were mainly utility-based or the ceremonial last line of defence inside the city. Exceptions existed, like the war hero Flash Magnus, but it was rare at the time.

When Equestria formed, the unicorns and earth ponies saw stallions being conscripted into the military as barbaric. Stallions were meant to be protected at all costs, after all! After much debate, Princess Luna offered a solution that appeased all sides. The castle garrison would be a predominantly stallion post. That way, stallions with military-based cutie marks could serve and fulfill their destinies, and the alicorn sisters could protect the stallions in turn.

Shortly after, Bulk finally returned as Neil was drowning in useless statistics about the battle prowess of the 72nd Unicornian Artillerists. The faint rhythmic clack of metal on the stone first alerted him. But soon enough, Bulk appeared from the shelves, a package wrapped in brown paper sitting lazily on his back.

"Private Bulk reportin' in. Mission was a complete success Si- Neil," He almost slipped as he saluted.

Neil quickly nodded in return, allowing Bulk to lower his hoof. "Good. The sooner I'm not nude, the better."

"Supper is also an hour away, just so you know."

Neil quickly looked at the open military book, which still had one-third to go. "Even better, that gives me an excuse to stop." And with that, he nudged his hoof under the back cover and flipped it closed.

He slipped off his chair and arched his back until he felt a satisfying and audible crack. "Much better." He then looked back to his pile of books, debating if he should check them out. In the end, after all the time and effort Tome put into collecting them, he decided to bring them back to his room.

"Uh, unicorn dude. Mind putting all the books except the military one on the sergeant? After that, can you return the military book on the shelf?" Without a word, his aura erupted around the books. All but one of them was deposited onto the back of the sergeant. The remaining one floated over to the unicorn, who promptly disappeared into the shelves.

Neil was quick to follow, however, and his remaining two guards fell into flanking positions at his sides. Neil was quick to note, just like before, that the books refused to tip over despite the pegasus' slightly swaying pace. This tentatively proved that whatever it was that kept the books from falling, it wasn't telekinesis-based.

It didn't take long for the three of them to return to the library entrance hall. The unicorn guard was already at the main desk, quietly talking with Tome Keeper, who was writing down something.

When she looked up, she immediately spotted their little group. "So good to see you again, and with a new friend! I guess you enjoyed your time in my library?"

"It was a learning experience Mrs. Keeper," Neil honestly told her, doing his best not to think about all the useless trivia and facts crowding his head.

"I would hope so," She said with a hint of finality. "Now, this kind guard was filling me in on all of your unread books. Are you going to sign them all out?"

"The sooner I read them, the better," He admitted. "So yeah, I need to sign them all out."

"Good, because I just finished writing them all under your name as you trotted up." She stated with a grin. "You need to learn as much as you can while you're young, y'know."

"I try," He told her truthfully. After all, his best lead at getting home currently revolved around the similarities between the Annex of Roam and the Roman Empire. If he could somehow find a connection between them...

"It's all a pony can do," She agreed. "Now, you have a good evening y'hear? And come back when you need more books! It's been lonely this last year without Ms. Sparkle tearing up the place."

"No worries there Mrs. Keeper, I have a lot to figure out." With their goodbyes said, Neil and his group of guards quickly exited the library.

With less than an hour to go, Neil felt it prudent to return to his room as fast as possible without risking his new hoard of books. So he settled on a light jog, which all three guards easily managed.

Once Neil returned to his room, he pushed through the swing door with his nose. Not caring at all as a minor uncomfortable twinge ran up his muzzle. Once inside, he folded himself against the door to keep it open, giving the guards enough room to enter. Only the pegasi came inside, however. He craned his neck and saw the unicorn guard had posted himself at the door frame.

Neil would have spoken up to mention how the unicorn's telekinesis might have been helpful for the sergeant. Still, when he looked back at the smaller pegasus, he was already unloading all the books onto the adjustable table. Proving once more that pegasus feathers weren't nearly as fragile as they looked and were far more flexible.

Once all the books were transferred, Sergeant Gust promptly left the room. Leaving only Neil, Bulk, and the package now sitting on his bed.

"You might as well open it Bulk," Neil offered as he walked up to see. "The best I can do for now is bite at it."

Bulk gave a quick nod, "If that's what you want," Then worked two feathers under the paper folds. Moments later, there was a satisfying rip, and Bulk deftly opened the package to reveal a vibrant green material that reminded him of an elven forest. A few more tears into the paper, and Bulk had Neil's cloak free and fully unfolded onto the bed.

The majority of it was a simple, solid green fabric. After running his hoof along it, Neil felt it was both thick and silky without irritating the sensitive skin on the underside of his hoof. The edges were trimmed with durable looking brown leather that looked authentic. But if he were to bet, his money would be on plant-based leather. He couldn't imagine ponies actually killing an animal just for leather.

The only thing that had him silently questioning Bulk was the silver clasp carved into the likeness of an alicorn.

Bulk saw his confusion and shrugged. "They said an alicorn-sized cloak deserved an alicorn clasp."

"So long as it covers my wings, it's fine." Neil bit down on what would be the collar portion of a human cloak and threw it over his back. The left edge caught on his back, folding in on itself. But shaking back and forth loosened it enough to fall down and adequately cover his side. Overall, it looked pretty good on him. "How much do I owe you?"

"Nothin'. It came outta Princess Celestia's private funds." Bulk told him as he walked up and gestured with his muzzle at the hunk of metal. "Do you need help with the clasp?"

It was a simple enough contraption. There was a karabiner-like hook under each of the alicorn's wings. A thick loop of excess green material was also on each corner of the cloak's collar. One of the loops was already latched, but with only the ability to bite down and maneuver the clasp, Neil found it quite challenging to line up the remaining loop with the second hook.

He gave it three more tries before begrudgingly nodding, "Yesh pleasth." It seemed the trick was to keep the clasp still and allow Bulk to use his wing to hook the loop into the clip. With that done, Neil released the clasp, trying to ignore the taste of silver permeating his mouth.

With his cloak now secure, he gave himself one last look over. His body, and most importantly, his wings, were fully covered. In fact, if he didn't know about the wings, Neil would have assumed he was a touch more rotund than the average stallion. An added bonus in Neil's mind if some mares avoided him for it. Next on the list was his availability from the sides. Starting at the collar, the fabric cascaded down at an angle reaching in-between what would have been his elbow and his wrist on his front legs. From there, it settled for a more gentle swoop so only his hooves were revealed on his back legs.

Overall, he only had two minor problems with the garment. The first being its overall length, judging by the leather rubbing at about mid-thigh. In his opinion, the cloak was barely long enough to fold over his rump and cover the important stuff, leaving his tail to do the rest of the work. His second minor gripe was the open front. A mare could bow down just to look at his belly and sheath. But such a mare would have to be very brazen to do so in his full view.

"Any opinions Bulk?"

Bulk didn't say anything at first, instead doing a couple circles around Neil first. "You look like a pretty, overweight ranger that's been put to pasture. So you'll fit right in, here in Canterlot."

Neil disliked that he was now pretty, but so long as he fit in without drawing attention, that mattered far more than anything else. "I guess it's the dinner thing next. Should we leave now and get there early? Or wait?"

"The Princess is the first pony there, so she can greet each pony that enters." Bulk informed him as he made his way over to the table covered in books. "My suggestion? Do some more reading if you want, then we can go."

"I guess some more reading couldn't hurt," Neil agreed with a slight grin as he made his way to the door. "Mind taking the language primer? I can skim over it in the dining room while we wait."

"Neil..." Bulk started, but the tall stallion was already pushing his way out of the door. After an unnoticed sigh, Bulk deftly plucked the book from the stack with his wing and trotted out of the room to catch up.

~~~

When they made it to the dining area, Neil's small troop of guards, Bulk included, positioned themselves in the hallway. The unicorn was kind enough to open the door for him, revealing an empty room without the Princess. But after Neil technically pointed out that Bulk wasn't his guard but his attaché, the pegasus finally gave in and entered the room with him.

Still, there were some apparent differences between today and the day before. To start with, the table that was fully decked out with breakfast food the day before? Only half of the display was finished, leaving the rest of the table empty and incomplete. The second most noticeable thing was the amount of chairs around the main table. Yesterday, it was just two. Today, there were eight separate chairs.

As he thought over the implications, a hint of trepidation soon settled into him. Besides himself and Celestia, who else was she expecting for dinner today? Was she going to force him to show off in front of the elite? Foreign dignitaries? Friends of hers? Were they going to be exclusively mares, all of which would be leering at him?

Before he could complete his train of thought, the kitchen doors swung open in a familiar, eye-catching golden aura. Seconds later Celestia, wearing only a frilly pink chef's apron and crown, stepped out with an extensive array of breakfast dishes in her telekinesis. If she saw Neil and Bulk, she paid them no mind as she set down the various plates on the breakfast table and properly arranged them.

Only after she was done did she look directly at her guests with her trademark motherly smile. She offered Bulk a slight nod. "It's so good to see you again, Private Bulk. I take it from your proximity that Neil accepted your offer to be his guard?"

Bulk dropped his salute with a dull thunk against the carpeted floor. "Yes Your Majesty. Thank you for the opportunity."

"It was my pleasure, honestly. I believe Neil will need as many friends as he can make in the coming days," She told Bulk before her gaze shifted to Neil. "Moreso, if he keeps sending me distraught nurses. Two in as many days? What were you thinking when you sent me that letter Neil?"

"What was I thinking?" He bit back pleasantly as if he was commenting on a lovely day. "I was thinking hell no with whatever you plan to do with me. Giving me a crown? Really? I'm not a citizen of Equestria or qualified!" Then, as an afterthought, he added, "Besides, she thought it was some weird alicorn code when she left my room."

"She told me as much while sobbing uncontrollably in my throne room." Princess Celestia informed him, her disapproval very clear on her features. "But along the way, she remembered your inability to fly and ran straight to me. She felt your sudden urge to kill yourself was somehow her fault."

Even Neil wilted a little as he thought about it. Was her blatant attempts to stare at his junk annoying? Yes. But it was commonly accepted behaviour for mares. However, to inadvertently make her think that? No, it was only supposed to be a threat towards Celestia, if she tried to force him into whatever game she was playing. "You said two nurses?"

"Yes," She answered, removing her frilly apron with her aura. She took a moment to hang it on the corner of the breakfast table before continuing, "During your escape attempt, Nurse Mint delivered the meal you requested, only to find your room abandoned. After failing to find you, she came to me later that night with her resignation for, and I quote, 'Failing to uphold the standards expected for the Castle Infirmary'. I dissuaded her from that course of action. I also had to dissuade Nurse Heart from resigning this morning, after consoling her."

Neil was inadvertently reminded of his Dad as she spoke. The man would never get angry. Not once in Neil's entire life, which had been strangely infuriating when he was being punished. His Dad preferred the I'm not mad, I'm disappointed route, explaining what he did wrong and then outlining the consequences. Compared to Celestia, his Dad was an amateur.

"I was planning to have this discussion with you tonight, Neil, but it appears the expectations of my staff caught you by surprise, with emotional results. All I ask is that you think about your actions and how they may affect other ponies around you. But," And her voice gained a severe edge, "If you send another distraught mare to me, there will be serious consequences. You may take your seat now and wait for dinner." She then turned to Bulk with her smile returned. "You as well, Private Bulk."

The next twenty-ish minutes passed by in uncomfortable silence. Neil had his book, but he would only manage a page, maybe two at the most, before his mind would wander back to Celestia's words. During that time, Bulk would shift from looking at him like he grew an extra head to looking at him with open worry.

Neil couldn't have guessed what was going through the pegasus' mind.

The only sound to break the silence was Celestia herself. With her scolding complete, she put the apron back on and returned to the kitchen. Every five minutes, she would come out of the kitchen with multiple plates of food orbiting around her. She would then expertly place them on the breakfast table and return to the kitchen.

Her fourth trip deviated from the pattern. First, her apron was replaced, allowing her golden peytral to shine in the light. Second and more noticeable was the six thermos' revolving around her. Once they were correctly set into the display, she cut off her aura and went to the main dining table to claim her seat.

"I have a second topic I wish to discuss with you Neil," Celestia offered after a minute of further silence. "One that is tangentially related to the position you dismissed out of hoof while also affecting both yourself and Bulk."

With a sigh, Neil gave up on his book for the rest of the night. Wedging a hoof between the cover and the table, he flipped it closed. "And what would that be?"

"I was curious if you would prefer Captain Buckler to assign your guard detail, or would you prefer a roster of volunteers like Private Bulk?"

"I think I would prefer no fucking guards," He stated bluntly, not catching the pegasus' ears wilting slightly. "But I don't mind Bulk. Why do I need more?"

Princess Celestia quickly pointed out the major flaw in his thinking as she levitated a pair of menus. "It would be unfair to ask Private Bulk to work around the clock without rest, would it not?"

Neil nodded, acknowledging her point while also digging at the unspoken one. "You want guards on my door in the middle of the night? Why? I already know how stupid your bullshit wards are."

"The wards are one reason, yes," She offered, "On the off chance you need to do something late at night or return to your room after a late night of studying. The guards will be there to escort you around the castle."

Neil had to wonder why she would bring up his studying. Was it because he brought a book to dinner? In fact, now that he thought about it, how did Bulk know he was in the library in the first place? "And the other reasons?"

"Those are... rather complicated," She gently deflected, "And something that should be discussed once you acclimatize to Equestria, I think."

"Or, you can tell me now." Neil pushed, "Otherwise, I'll find out on my own just like your coronation bullshit."

Celestia stared at him for a few seconds, or it could have been a minute. It was hard to tell as the focus of her gaze. "Very well. But first, which would you prefer?"

"If I was forced to choose?" Given Captain Buckler's stellar guard choice, Neil didn't need to think. "Volunteers, I guess."

"Excellent. I'll have an application sheet posted in the barracks immediately," Celestia informed him before shifting topics. "Now, crown or not, as an alicorn you will need to be aware of the world around you. Think of this as your first lesson in Equestrian politics..."

She started by naming the world's various species that lived alongside ponies. Equestria Throughout the Ages briefly covered the rare altercation between ponies and the griffons, dragons, and diamond dogs. That was a shock to the system, not only learning about multiple thinking species co-existing on the same planet but also the fact that most of them were mythical species.

Celestia expanded that list even further by including Abyssians, Avians, Bovines, Buffalo, Hippogriffs, Minotaurs, Yaks, Zebras, and many more as she finished with the Monstrous Peoples. She briefly summarized each, whether they established their own land or lived inside the borders of another, more dominant people. Bovines and Buffalo, for example, lived alongside ponies in harmony, with only minor disagreements here and there.

She then explained how the surrounding countries reacted when Princess Mi Amore Cadenza ascended. Allies and neutral countries offered stronger alliances to have the new Alicorn Princess as an ambassador. Some went so far as to provide an arranged marriage with their sons, hoping to strengthen ties. Celestia also felt there were other motives, including denying Equestria a second alicorn of unknown power or breeding a new, more magical tribe for their own species.

Either way, Celestia allowed Princess Mi Amore Cadenza to make her own decisions. Ultimately, she chose to become an ambassador. After years of studying, during which time she fell in love with her recently married husband, she travelled abroad to strengthen ties with Equestria's allies.

"... I would give it two months, four at the most before your presence becomes known to the world. After that, the proposals will flood in like before. Perhaps with even greater insistence, as you are the first male of the species. The thought of breeding you with their daughters-" She paused in her lecture, her eyes looking over Neil to something behind him.

But before he could turn around, a noticeable crack emanated from the double doors as they swung far enough back to slam into the stone wall. Another pony trudged their way into the dining hall without a single fuck to give, judging by the half-asleep gaze on her feminine muzzle. But Neil was immediately alert, as this particular mare was another alicorn. She had a navy blue coat, but her tail and mane emulated a similar effect as Celestia's, without the multi-coloured hues. This alicorn had a miniature copy of the night sky attached to her body in two places.

"Good evening, Luna," Celestia called out cheerfully. "We have guests tonight. I would like to introduce Neil and his guard attaché for the evening Private Bulk Order."

The only noise from the mare was a drowsy grunt as she made her way towards the opposite end of the table. Neil was so weirded out by this new alicorn's behaviour that he almost missed the nine separate dishes, mostly pancake stacks, the fake bacon he'd heard about, and all the black thermoses containing coffee haphazardly lifting off the breakfast table.

That unintentionally answered one question from the previous day.

With only ten paces to go between herself and the chair, Neil watched as she removed the cap and emptied an entire thermos of the steaming hot beverage by the time she reached the table. He was both impressed and mildly horrified as he leaned over to Bulk and whispered, "What the hell crawled up her a-"

"Neil, perhaps we should put aside the political lessons for now?" Celestia cut in as if she hadn't heard what he was whispering. "Let's all order for now, and afterwards, I'll answer any questions you might have to the best of my ability."

The process was the exact same as before, if only faster now that Neil didn't need to carefully skim over each section. He was the first to choose his order, followed shortly after by Bulk. Once more Celestia was the last to finish, and the servers came seconds after her menu hit the table. Once their orders were placed, Celestia looked expectantly at him.

'Right, questions. Fuck umm...' His eyes darted around, eventually settling on Bulk before one popped into his head. "As you've recently shown, unicorns and you two have telekinesis to move stuff around. I've also seen pegasi like Bulk fly. Then there's your mind-fuck wards. So what all can ponies do?" He asked, not noticing Luna's ears honing in on him the moment he let loose a swear.

"An excellent question, Neil. And I hope you take my answer to heart as you explore all of its possibilities in the coming months," She offered with such aplomb before adding on, "With caution and a suitable teacher, of course."

"Now, the simple answer to your question is magic," She began, entering her lecture mode. "The more complex answer follows that each and every pony has a unique gift, which allows them to be who they are. Private Bulk Order, for example, has an excellent talent for logistics and supply management with the Castle Guard. His pegasus birthright also allows him to fly and create weather. However, I must add, not to the point of other pegasi uniquely gifted in those aspects. Private Bulk, would you care to demonstrate with a cloud?"

Bulk hopped out of his chair in an instant. "At once, Your Majesty!"

He was standing at attention for the average pony guard, except his wings were outstretched in front of him and gently flapping up and down. Neil had no idea what the fuck he was doing, but this was a practical demonstration, somehow, so he sat in his chair and watched.

Half a minute passed by. Then, a minute. It was about to cross the two-minute mark before something finally happened. A small ball of what appeared to be grayish-white cotton candy started to form out of nowhere, and it quickly grew. It increasingly expanded in front of Bulk until it was about the size of a single mattress. At that point, Bulk's wings paused, and he let loose an audible sigh as they folded back into place.

For some reason, the air in the room felt dryer, as if he was suddenly moved into a more arid climate.

Then, just to fuck with Neil's entire understanding of physics, Bulk hopped on top of his creation and sat down with the audacity of not falling through. "What in the ever-loving fuck is that thing?"

"A cloud," Celestia told him, though he wasn't looking at her.

"That's no fucking cloud," Neil countered, "Clouds are condensed water vapour. If that was a cloud, he shouldn't be doing whatever the hell he's doing! He should have gone straight through."

"That is exactly what would have happened if Private Bulk was an earth pony or a unicorn. Instead, pegasi have the innate ability to sit, walk, or run on any desired cloud. They can also pass through a cloud if they so choose, but that's a skill one must learn to do."

She must have given a look at Bulk because the moment she finished speaking, he stood up and then started to slowly sink into the thing he made. Until his armoured hooves met the carpeted floor with a muted click. Then, as if it was little more than a thick fog, he walked out. His armour and fur glistened with a small amount of moisture.

"Your turn Neil."

Was she serious? He craned his head around, only to see an encouraging smile that he'd seen on multiple teachers throughout his lifetime. Yep, she was fucking serious. He then turned to Bulk, who didn't say anything. But the guard gave a gentle smile as if to say it was perfectly safe.

Thankfully, it was close enough for him to reach out without getting out of his seat. He had to twist a little, but that was enough as his hoof closed the distance. He was expecting, hoping really for his hoof to simply pass through. Instead, he felt something solid press against the skin on the bottom of his hoof. Though calling it solid was a grave injustice. It was softer than any pillow he'd ever had the pleasure to sleep on. But when he pressed harder, there wasn't much give.

He gave it a few more experimental shoves before another effect became noticeable to everyone except Luna, who was too focused on her meal. The area around Neil's hoof was slowly changing colour. Going from a puffy white cloud to more of a dreary gray. Bulk was the first to comment. "You, uh, might wanna remove your hoof Si- Er, Neil."

Since Bulk created the thing, Neil quickly listened as he removed his hoof. In a matter of seconds, the gray spot seemed to dissipate into the cloud as it returned to its original happy white.

"Interesting, I wasn't expecting that type of reaction during this particular lesson," Celestia admitted out loud. "Neil, are you feeling any strong, negative emotions at the moment? Particularly anger?"

"Mad? No," He admitted honestly as he tried to comprehend what the fuck was going on. "Annoyed as all hell? If that thing really is a cloud, then all the years I've spent learning physics in high school are a fucking waste! Yes I'm annoyed."

Before Celestia could respond, Princess Luna spoke out for the first time that evening. "Enough! Act with proper decorum, as thy station demands of thee, and stay thy foul tongue," She commanded authoritatively as she sat paused eating. "'Lest We fix it for thee."

Neil hadn't expected Ye olde English to come from her. But the small, paranoid part of his mind returned to the forefront as he bristled. This was the kind of arrogant and demanding greeting he had expected after being captured by royalty. He immediately snapped back. "And what the hell are you going to do? Cut my tongue out?"

"We have no need for such barbarity," She promised, pausing for only a moment to add, "This shall serve as a warning to Our satisfaction." Her horn flared blue for only a moment.

Celestia was quick to admonish her sister. "Luna! What spell did you just use?" Her horn also flashed as both sisters devolved into a terse-looking debate. One he couldn't hear, and neither could Bulk, apparently.

Wanting to understand what was just done to him, Neil decided to start with something simple. "Testing, testing. One, two, three." Bulk heard him if his slight nod was any indication, so he wasn't silenced.

Going over what she had recently said in his mind, it was clear that she was annoyed with a particular selection of words. So, he did the most obvious thing that came to mind. "Shit."

He wouldn't admit it was painful, but the sudden twinge at the back of his head made him noticeably flinch. Judging by Bulk's worried reaction, this wasn't something commonly done. Then again, Neil couldn't picture any pony swearing in front of either princess.

Now that he was expecting it, he experimented some more. "Fucking Bitch," He stated, looking directly at Luna. He managed to force his reaction down to a minor eye twitch, though multiple swears seemed to prolong the experience.

Whatever prevented them from hearing the two sisters also prevented them from hearing what he said. Neil could only imagine what the dark princess would have done otherwise.

The food was delivered by the time Celestia decided to light up her horn again. She looked quite stern, similar to when she raised her voice at Neil. Luna, however, was glowering at her breakfast. "I believe you have something to say, Dear Sister."

It took a long moment, but Luna eventually looked up with a neutral mask befitting her station. "We apologize for Our use of punishment. Had We known of thy denial, We would not have punished you so severely."

"I do not fucking accept your apology," Neil stated, trying to copy her diplomatic tone. Even if her punishment was noticeable every single time he swore. "Not until you remove this shitty ass, whatever the fuck it is punishment from me."

She stared at him. He stared right back at her. He could also feel Celestia's look of admonition after he denied her apology, but that didn't matter at the moment. He wasn't going to back down against those similarly light blue eyes.

Surprisingly, Luna was the first to back down, "You wield your bravado as a mare would, much to thy detriment." As her horn sparked once more.

The lingering after-pain instantly vanished. "What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

Luna didn't respond, having returned to her meal. Celestia, however, was more than willing to talk in her place. "Neil, while Luna was in the wrong to punish you in such a manner, she did apologize and remove the spell. I believe you have something to say as well?"

"Since she removed her mild torture thing right away, apology accepted." That was all he was willing to say as he looked at Celestia.

Was it petty? Yes. Did she push him on it? Surprisingly, she did not.

Dinner passed silently from that point on, ever-shifting between tense and awkward. The only highlight, in Neil's opinion, was once more the food as he tried to avoid messily devouring his lasagne, given his inability to use a simple fork.

Bulk was the first to finish; he was the only pony with a normal-sized meal. Celestia and Luna finished nearly the same time, despite Luna starting before they even ordered. This left Neil the only one eating once again.

However, when he finally finished his last bite, before he could even attempt to lick the excess tomato sauce from his muzzle, Luna stood. "Sister, it is time for Us to lower the Sun and raise the Moon," She reminded her sister. But that wasn't all, as she added a stipulation. "We wish to have Neil join as well."

Celestia gave her sister a quizzical look but didn't comment on her sudden desire for Neil to be there. She slipped gracefully off her chair to join Luna, only waiting at the door for Neil to move.

On the other hand, Neil only had a vague idea of what was happening. Yes, he knew about the propaganda declaring their ability to move celestial objects. And she wanted him there? Why? To cow him into a sense of submission?

He was very tempted to stay right where he was if only to make them late. But then, that must have obviously happened before at some point? Wouldn't they just claim to say they did it inside? Ponies were gullible enough since they believed the lie in the first place.

So, reluctantly, he hopped off his seat to follow Celestia. Making sure to stay far enough back that her tail properly obscured certain things. Bulk followed right next to him as well, unable to contain the minor hop of excitement in his step.

The journey was admittedly short, traversing a single hallway until they came upon a golden arch built into the wall with reddish-pink curtains strung up on either side to reveal a large balcony with a solid blue stone railing. A small part of Neil grumbled at the fact that he was that close to an exit the day before, but he squashed it.

At least he knew this particular exit was here for later use.

Both Princesses quickly took up their positions, seated on large, plush-looking cushions that were immaculate even though they were sitting outside on a balcony. Neil quickly positioned himself closer to the arch. He watched Celestia as she stared directly at the sun, ignoring the standard convention to protect one's eyes. He wasn't sure what was about to happen besides the sunset. Still, it was better than looking at the alicorn burning their gaze into the back of his skull.

Unfortunately, she was determined to make sure she wasn't ignored. "Before the ceremony begins, We wish to offer words of caution to young Neil. However unwanted it may be, you have unknowingly entered an arena for which you have been ill-equipped. As of this moment, Our dear sister has been treating you with cushioned swords and words of comfort for protection. We have no such desire. Now, you know of the direction Our Moon normally rises from, yes?"

He knew well enough that the moon rose in the east as the sun set to the west, so he pointed to the east.

"Good. Tonight, you shall choose any other direction from which Our Moon shall ascend." She offered, which was a big gamble as Neil thought about it. Obviously, the moon would rise in the same direction it always rose. So why would she do that?

Adding as much bravado as he could, despite not feeling much at all, he gave her a direction. "I'm feeling a bit dramatic after all the Olde Shakespearian English being thrown about. Let's have the moon rise from the ashes of the fallen sun."

He expected her to immediately demand a change, but it never came.

Celestia's horn suddenly sparked to life, releasing an aura powerful enough to light up the entire balcony. At the same time, the sun started to move. Visibly lowering at a speed he'd become accustomed to, though he knew if the same thing happened on Earth, the planet would have been doomed.

The smallest of cracks formed in Neil's resolve. He couldn't tell which event happened first, be it Celestia's horn or the sun's movement. It was almost as if... then again, she had years to perfect the act. Timing it perfectly couldn't be that hard, could it?

Far sooner than he would have liked, sunset passed into the night as Celestia's horn snuffed out. The balcony was blanketed with comforting shadows for just a moment, only to be ousted this time by Luna's rich blue aura.

Neil ignored her despite being inside of his peripheral vision. It was much more important to keep his eyes focused to the east, knowing that the moon would peak over the horizon any second now and end this farce. Yet, as the seconds passed, the moon didn't reveal itself.

The cracks in his resolve grew as he took a peek in the opposite direction. Yet nothing was there, either. What was going on? He'd watched the rapid ascent of the moon almost every single night since his appearance. It was hard not to when he had plenty to do in the dark alleyways of Canterlot.

Half a minute later, Neil was begrudgingly glancing back and forth, waiting for something to happen. Only for a pulse of blue light to illuminate the balcony even more...

Then, the moon graced them with its presence from the west, exactly where the sun had set.

Neil was left speechless as Luna's aura faded. Shrouding the balcony in darkness, his eyes darted between Celestia, who was watching the moon, and Bulk, who was watching Neil with a look of confusion. Why? And why was it so dark? Had it always been like that? Or was it getting darker? And why was Bulk walking towards him with a look of worry?...

Neil slumped to the balcony, hyperventilating at first, only to slip unconscious seconds later. Only Bulk's fast reaction prevented Neil's head from hitting the solid stone floor as he dove forward and slipped underneath the larger stallion.

Author's Note

So, first things first. THANK YOU ALL!

Never in my wildest dreams would I have imagined such a reception. And while it is a bit late, I have to celebrate a very important milestone.

All hail the 666 positive ratings.

Now, with that taken care of... Huzzah? Luna made her appearance, though not in the best of moods. She clearly isn't a morning pony, or an evening pony as the case may be. Also, I was not expecting to end the chapter there. But when confronted by the immeasurable might of Best Princess, I guess Neil couldn't handle it?

Edit: Whoops! I was so excited to finally get this one up I forgot to italicize and center everything. Sorry about that. It's fixed now.