I stared at Twilight for a long moment. When she continued smiling brightly at us, I instinctually looked around at the surrounding tables. It was uncommon, but students from other tables had approached us due to dares before. Even if it was a "transfer student" this time, it was possible that she was doing the same thing to gain clout with the locals and make her disguise more convincing. However, to my surprise, I didn't see anybody sneaking glances at us while barely restraining their laughter. Those who were looking just looked confused.

Seeing this, I decided to act quickly. Firstly because I knew if I didn't say anything, Starlight or Lyra would. Secondly because Twilight needed to be chased off as soon as possible. Her being nearby could only mean that we were going to end up even more involved with whatever Sunset was trying to pull, and I didn't have the stomach for that. So I collected myself and tried to get her off our backs as diplomatically as possible.

"No," I said.

Twilight's smile didn't waver, "Oh, don't worry! I'm not like Sunset; I just want to talk to you three about a few things."

"No. Go away," I said.

Twilight's smile did waver this time, "I know we didn't have the best first impressions of each other, and I'm sorry if I scared you. I promise that I don't have any ill intentions; I really do want to talk."

I pursed my lips. She was more persistent than 90% of the student body, I'd give her that. Still, I wanted nothing to do with whatever brand of trouble she was inevitably going to get us involved in. Glancing at Fluttershy, who frowned and averted her gaze when we made eye contact, I went for a different strategy.

"Really? I don't think your friend feels the same way."

Twilight laughed, "Don't be silly, Fluttershy is one of the kindest people you could ever meet! I'm sure she'd be happy to talk to you. Right, Fluttershy?"

Fluttershy blushed at the compliment, but bit her lip and didn't respond. When it was clear that no response was forthcoming, Twilight's smile finally fell, replaced by an expression of genuine shock. Fluttershy shrunk back from Twilight's expression, but to my genuine surprise, stuck to her guns instead of lying to make her friend(?) feel better.

"We... um... don't get along...", she murmured.

"I'm sorry, could you repeat that?" asked Twilight.

"She said that we don't get along," an annoyed Starlight jumped in. Just like me, she had no desire to sit through two minutes of Fluttershy's mumbling. "But what she means is that she doesn't like us. Am I right?"

Once again, Fluttershy averted her gaze, but didn't say anything.

Twilight looked back and forth between us with undisguised disbelief. Knowing what I know now, I can't blame Twilight for her reaction. The fact that we made the representative of the concept of kindness itself hold a grudge would throw anybody for a loop.

...

How did we manage that? Well, it happened about a month ago when we decided to recruit her into our group. Any good cultist knows that the best way to get new members is to target insecure people, and there was nobody we knew who was more of an insecure pushover than Fluttershy, so we approached her after school one day intending to make our pitch.

"Hello, Fluttershy! Have you ever wanted to stop being a lonely loser?"

Fluttershy continued giving us the same deer-in-the-headlights look she'd been giving us since we first surrounded her at the statue.

I continued, "Well I don't know how to do that, but I do know how you can cope with it! Join HEH and you'll get friends, food, and a group of people who will help bear the crushing burden of your inadequacies and insecurities! Doesn't that sound nice?"

It wasn't the greatest pitch, but being the spokesman was a last minute decision. Lyra had a sore throat, and I'd run out of excuses for why I couldn't try recruiting like Starlight wanted me to, so I got saddled with the job. I planned out an entire speech during English class, threw it away because I realized it sucked, and decided to to wing it and hope that bashing her over the head with her failings would get results.

It didn't. Fluttershy did what she always did: curl up into a ball and hope her problems went away. No judgement from me; I and my friends have employed that strategy on multiple occasions. Still, it meant my first idea had failed, so I moved on to plan B.

I looked at Starlight and motioned towards our prospective member with my head. If we were going to try convincing Fluttershy while she was in this state, then I couldn't be the one to do it. After all, peer pressuring a pretty girl is only socially acceptable if another pretty girl does it.

Starlight nodded, taking my place and mustered all of her charisma.

"Hey," she said softly, getting down on one knee. "If you promise to attend just one meeting, then we'll leave you alone. How does that sou—?"

The plan was to get her to agree in order to get rid of us, knowing that Fluttershy was way too much of a softie to go back on her word. Unfortunately, that plan didn't pan out.

Her backpack burst open, and a cat, a bird, and a rabbit lunged for Starlight in defense of their owner. Always on alert for surprise attacks, Starlight instantly backward-somersaulted away from the claws of her attackers. Lyra and I stepped forward to defend our friend, and the animals charged. Then the fight was on.

"Wait!"

The animals chose their targets and split off. The cat lunged forward and took another swipe at Starlight's face, only to miss again when Starlight did the splits, letting the cat sail overhead. What little I saw of what followed was breathtaking; Starlight and the cat traded blows and danced around each other in increasingly complex acrobatic maneuvers. Lyra and the bird engaged each other in a different kind of battle: a musical duel. Birdsong was set against lyre in a performance that would've brought even Octavia to tears.

As for me, I was in a standoff with the rabbit. It stared me down, its glare a silent challenge. I had no idea what I was supposed to do. Starlight and Lyra going with the flow by using anime logic was expected; they're semi-human supernatural entities who thankfully were fond of me. By contrast, I'm a normal guy who didn't want to be there.

"Wait!"

Still, I had my pride. I was not about to back down from a challenge. Well, okay, I wasn't about to back down from a challenge if the one issuing it was smaller and weaker than me. Either way, I needed to back up my friends, so I was standing my ground. As such, when that rabbit took a running jump at my head, I smacked that sucker down like I was spiking a volleyball.

"Angel!"

The cat stopped swiping, Starlight stopped dodging, the bird stopped singing, and Lyra stopped playing.

Fluttershy sprinted forward and scooped the rabbit up into her arms. After looking it over for injuries, she glared up at me with tear-filled eyes.

"I-I'd never join a group filled with bunny hitters like you! You... you MEANIE!"

She turned on her heels and ran away, sobbing loudly. The cat and bird followed behind, shooting dirty looks at me as they did.

Do I regret it? Not at all. If that rabbit didn't want to get smacked, it shouldn't have attacked me. Besides, that thing probably runs on cartoon logic like everyone else at that school. I'm sure it's fine.

Fluttershy's held a bit of a grudge ever since, hence the frown of displeasure she'd worn the entire conversation. It looked like she liked her new friend enough to not just walk away mid-conversation, but didn't like her enough to lie.

Deciding to strike while the iron was hot, I said, "If you're looking for people to help you get introduced to people, you've come to the wrong place. You should probably go talk with my sister about that. She was the brown-haired girl carrying the Fall Formal Crown earlier; she's sitting right over there."

I pointed to a table on the other side of the room where Jill sat, staring down at her barely-touched meal.

"Jill's the girl to ask if you want to make connections." I made to resume writing on my scrap paper, but hesitated. "But, uh, she's not great at dealing with complicated issues. You should use her to help get situated, nothing else."

Twilight looked over at Jill, then back to me, "Oh, you mean the girl whose friend you were glaring at earlier?"

I grimaced, "Yes."

"I spoke with her earlier. She was quite helpful, but getting acclimated is not why I'm here. I've come to talk to you because, well..." Twilight turned to Fluttershy and gave her a look.

Fluttershy looked hesitant, but nodded, "I'll wait for you at the table, Twilight."

She walked away, and Twilight leaned towards us.

"I wanted to talk to you since you seem to know what's going on, and you don't seem to be on Sunset's side. Did you already know about Equestria?"

Lyra perked up, "Equestria? As in latin for 'land of horses'?"

Ah shit.

Twilight nodded, "Yes, that is the meaning of our country's name in pony latin."

"Pony Latin?!" Lyra was grinning like a maniac.

Starlight and I shared a look.

I firmly grasped Lyra by the shoulder, "Hey Ly, maybe we should continue this conversation out in the hall?"

Without waiting for an answer, Starlight and I marched Lyra out of the cafeteria, a confused Twilight following behind us. Once we were outside and sure that no one was looking, we let go of Lyra. She didn't miss a beat.

"Are you from a parallel dimension inhabited by magical horses and star spirits?!"

Twilight blinked, "I... I suppose? Although, we're ruled by Alicorn princesses who have dominion over the stellar bodies, they're not star spirits."

Lyra whipped out her dream journal and put a pen to paper in about two seconds, "Tell me more."

Twilight hesitated, shooting us a questioning glance. Starlight and I didn't react, so Twilight began to answer Lyra's many questions. To summarize, Twilight explained that Lyra was right about pretty much everything: that the world on the other side of the mirror was populated by mythical creatures, that magic was real, that all of Lyra's dreams directly correlated to real events, that Twilight's world was indeed a mirror of our own, and that Twilight herself was a recently ascended Alicorn princess.

I didn't believe it. A stranger comes through a mirror portal and confirms all the things that would make Lyra willing to cooperate with her? It seemed too good to be true. I leaned over to Starlight when Lyra and Twilight were distracted by the pictures Lyra had taken through the portal earlier.

"What do you think of all this?" I whispered.

"I think she's an aristocratic, bourgeoisie bitch, and we have a moral obligation to oppose her in any way we can!" she growled.

I nodded. That was about what I expected her to say.

"I was thinking that we should just stay out of this whole mess, but sure. Now how are we supposed to convince Lyra of that?"

Starlight frowned, "If I knew what to say to make her stop being a reactionary, I would've said it by now."

"So, we can't?"

"I don't think so, and it's not like we can ditch her."

"Of course not," I agreed. "What's the plan, then?"

Starlight ground her teeth for a bit before finally gathering the strength to say, "We... cooperate with the princess for now and make sure Ly doesn't do anything stupid."

I nodded, "Got it. We'll try to keep her and us as distant from this mess as possible."

The conclusion of our discussion was perfect timing on our part, because Lyra chose that moment to turn to us.

"You all agree, right guys?"

Starlight pinched me before I could instinctually agree with whatever Lyra was talking about.

"Agree with what?" she asked.

"Princess Twilight wants us to help her get the Element of Magic back! What do you think?"

"And what exactly does... princess Twilight... want us to do to accomplish this?"

Twilight stepped forward, "Nothing in particular right now; Lyra already told me that you don't have a way to get the crown back right now. But having some new friends is never a negative! Just keep me updated on if a way to get my crown back comes up."

"Will do," I jumped in. "And don't feel the need to track us down; we'll come find you if we have any updates."

Twilight smiled gratefully, "Thank you so much. I'm sorry again for how our first meeting went."

"Don't worry about it. Now, isn't Fluttershy waiting for you?"

Twilight gasped, "Oh my Celestia, you're right!" She turned on her heel and jogged back to the cafeteria, waving back at us over her shoulder, "Thank you again!"

Once the door had closed behind her, we turned to Lyra.

She beamed, "Can you believe it?! I was right!"

She shoved her phone in our faces. I flipped through the pictures, all of which were blurry to the point of incomprehensibility. I was able to make out a few figures that maybe, kinda looked like horses if you squint, but they just as easily could've been something else. I was about to say as much, but then I looked up and saw the tears welling up in her eyes.

"I... I was right," she sobbed, a relieved smile on her face. "I'm not crazy; I was right. It wasn't all for nothing. I-I'm so happy."

I handed Lyra her phone and gave her a smile of my own, "Congratulations, Ly."

Her lip quivered. She lunged forward and wrapped me in a tight hug.

"Thank you," she whispered. "Thank you both for sticking with me."

I hugged her back, Starlight joining in as well. It was a nice moment; too bad it couldn't have lasted.

Someone started slow-clapping behind us.

"Aww, what a sweet moment."

We spun around and saw Sunset Shimmer standing there with a shit-eating grin.

"Congratulations, Lyra. You didn't get thrown under the bus by Bon-Bon for nothing after all!"

"What do you want?" Starlight grouched.

"Shut the fuck up," Sunset said in that same cheerful tone. "I may be smiling, but I'm still furious with you three. You do not want to see what happens if my good mood goes away."

Starlight pursed her lips, but said nothing.

"Glad that you understand. Now-" she put her hands together, "I'm going to cut to the chase: since Deranged Daniels over there got Snips and Snails suspended again, I'm going to need you three to be my lackeys in their place."

After waiting for the punchline that never came, Starlight said "And why would we ever-"

"Because if you don't, then I'm going to call in a few favors and have your internet search histories all over MyStable by this time tomorrow!"

The three of us shared a grim look A silent conversation passed between us, our deep bond enabling us to communicate perfectly without needing to say anything. Once all of us were on the same page, we faced Sunset and declared our intent in unison.

"Can we have some time to think it over?" I said.

"Fine," said Starlight.

"We would never betray Princess Twilight!" said Lyra.

We shared another look. Looks like we weren't on the same page after all.

"Excuse us for a moment," said Starlight.

Sunset just pointed to her watch with a noticeably more impatient expression than before.

The three of us walked a short distance away and huddled up.

"What are you two thinking?!" Lyra whispered. "How could you even think of betraying the princess?!"

"Because sometimes we must do heinous things in service of a greater good, and that greater good is keeping what little dignity we have left," said Starlight. "Also, Twilight is a royal who should be liquidated like the rest of her kind." she gave me a curious look, "I'm surprised by your answer, Jack. I figured you'd be on my side here."

"I'd like it if we didn't commit to getting even more involved in whatever inter-dimensional National Treasure plot is going on here," I said. "I'd rather not piss off the magical princess we just agreed to cooperate with, but telling Sunset to take a hike is just asking for trouble. We need to be smart about this so that our porn preferences don't become tomorrow's gossip topic."

The conversation turned into a quiet debate about the pros and cons of our positions. At the end of it, we'd reached a shaky consensus: we'd help both sides. The plan was to walk the tightrope between Sunset and Twilight, trying our best to please both while not fully committing to either. None of us liked it, but that just means it was a good compromise.

We turned back to Sunset, who was still standing there with an expression that made it hard to tell if she found us amusing or pathetic. Probably both.

"What do you want us to do?" Starlight asked.

"Guess you're smarter than you look." Sunset gestured for us to follow, "Follow me; you're going to help me keep the teacher's pet from rallying her friends."

Author's Note

I LIVE!

Sorry for the wait. Life and my job have been putting pressure on me these days. Hopefully, I'll be able to update more frequently now that I'm out of my funk.