Fuck My Life

It was the day after a night of heavy drinking the sun was too bright the sounds were too loud and Rogue had the mother of all hangovers as well as a voice screaming at him from the depths of his subconscious. "Ayo boy, it's your voice of regret here to tell you, you done fucked up and kissed a pony Princess last night, you fucking dumb ass!"

"Fuck off regret, I'm too hungover to put up with your shit." Rogue said to the voice in his head.

"I don't give a shit if you're hungover, you kissed a fucking pony, and to make matters worse she has very possessive vibes, like Jessica did and I'm sure I don't need to remind you how that went." Rogue's voice of Regret said.

"I fucking remember, she tried to cut my dick off and pickle it in a jar." Rogue said rolling over so he was face down in the pillow of the bed at a 24 hour motel he managed to get a room at after walking away from Twilight and her friends into the Fog last night.

"Ah hello my boy, your voice of reason here if you don't mind having a word?" A second stereotypically British sounding voice asked.

"The fuck do you want and why won't you just let me sleep off this hangover?" Rogue asked resining himself to the fate of not being able to sleep.

"Oh well you see my boy, in regards to what regret was just talking about, there is something we need to talk about." Rogue's voice of reason said sheepishly.

"Talk about what?" Rogue asked as he groaned into the pillow.

"Sex." The voice of Reason answered simply.

"Haven't had any since before coming to this world." Rogue said looking up at the head board of the bed.

"Yes I know that, but I meant sex moving forwards." The voice of Reason said calmly.

"I've said it once so I'll say it again, I'm not putting my dick in anything that isn't human." Rogue said firmly.

"Oh come now my boy, we both know that if you and one of those mares from last night were alone with a few more drinks, you'd have woken up in bed with one or all of them given your record." The voice of Reason said.

"Hey, I'm not that bad." Rogue said arguing with the voice in his head.

"I know this is more of Regret's territory but, need I remind you of THAT time." The voice of Reason said and Rogue shivered at the memory.

"Hey we agreed never to mention THAT time." Rogue said rolling over so he was the right way up and sitting up in the bed.

"I know but all I'm trying to say is, you have a history of sleeping around when drunk, your the only human on this world at the moment and there are at least three females that want you that we know of any way." The voice of Reason said.

"Wait, how did you reach that number?" Rogue asked as he swung his legs off the side of the bed and sat up and walked to the shower.

"Let's count them off shall we, first is that night guard mare Dark Blaze, second would be that dragoness Ember who made a booty warrior reference and third is Princess Sparkle who you put the moves on last night." The voice of Reason said listing the three off.

"Oh fuck off, you and Regret had better go back to being radio silent after I get out of the shower." Rogue said slamming the door behind him, afterwards coming out of the barely warm shower Rogue was more sober and alert. "Hey, voices in my head, you still there or have you finally shut up?" Rogue asked in thought but all he got was silence. "Oh good, silence at last." Rogue said as he walked over to a small bag he'd been were under his cloak and pulled out a set of camo cargo trousers and a slim fit black t-shirt and a fresh set of boxers with socks and got dressed quickly and slipped on his brown leather outdoor shoes that had replaced his black air force ones after the heat of the Dragon Lands killed them.
Once he was dressed Rogue picked up his dirty washing and put it in his bag before slipping it on under his cloak as he walked out of the room and locked the door behind him returned the room key at the office and used the nearby laundry room to wash and dry his clothes before making his way north from Griffin Stone, while he waited he could over here two Griffin gem hunters talking.

"So when are we heading back to Storm Peek mountain boss, we made a killing selling those lightning crystals last time?" The first Griffin asked.

"Not so loud you damn whelp, we don't want anyone else poaching are best money making spot." The second Griffin said in a hushed voice unaware that Rogue could here them.

"Sorry boss, I just wanted to know when we were heading back." The first Griffin said also using a hushed tone now.

"We'll go back the month after next, that way enough time will have passed for the constant lightning strikes at the top to have thrown some more lightning crystals down the mountain for us to find." The second Griffin explained.

"Storm Peek mountain hu, if those Griffins really were telling the truth about those lightning crystals being worth a shit ton of money, I could gather a shit load of them when I get the element of lightning and be set for life. Of course I'll have to find some way to get rid of the price Celestia put on my head first." Rogue thought as he waited for his clothes to finish drying. After nearly three hours Rogue's clothes were dry and folded up into Rogue's bag as he left the Griffin capital heading for the place known as Storm Peek mountain and according to the Griffins he'd been listening in on to was about a month a way on foot and the road was a long and hard one, as he left the city Rogue felt a cold chill on the morning wind and knew that winter wasn't far off only another month or two at best before he'd need winter clothes and GOD help him if he got caught out in the winter weather without the right gear, because Rogue had realized that for Ponies, Griffons, Zebras, Diamond Dogs and the other native species to look so similar to Human but still have fur meant that was in use to keep warm, meaning that the winters on Equis are so cold that fur is still required for survival. "Which means I should be heading south right now but no here I am heading north like an idiot, I only hope the element of fire can help keep me warm from the worst of the cold." Rogue thought as he passed a sign that said Griffin Stone north entrance with an arrow pointing the way he'd just came.

Two Weeks Later.

As Rogue walked down a lonely dirt Road wrapping himself tight in his cloak to try and get some protection from the cold as he walked further and further north to Storm Peek mountain. "Damn it, I never thought I would ever say this but I wouldn't mind having fur right now because I'm freezing my balls off." Rogue thought as he spotted the light of a camp fire past some trees to his right, Rogue stopped and looked for a moment at the fire seeing a male pony wearing a full body set of armor by the fire. "I wonder if he'd mind me warming myself up by his fire." Rogue thought as he changed course slightly and approached the fire, moments later Rogue was close enough to feel the warmth of the fire. "You mind if a Fellow wanderer warms himself by your fire?" Rogue asked as he looked at the armor clad stallion while staying a respectable distance from the fire in case he said no.

"By all means, warm your self Human." The stallion said in a firm deep voice that demanded respect and radiated wisdom.

"Thanks, I'm almost frozen down to the bones right now." Rogue said as he sat on a fallen tree on the opposite side of the fire to the pony and pulled his hood down.

"If your so cold, why not just head south?" The stallion asked looking at Rogue as he shivered.

"I'm heading to Storm Peek mountain to connect to the element of lightning, as well as grab some lightning crystals while I'm there." Rogue explained as he slowly warmed up.

"Connect to an element of nature, that is a noble undertaking and one that has sadly fallen out of practice over time." The stallion said as his wings fluttered a little while he took the helmet that almost completely covered his head off being careful not to hurt his horn which Rogue noticed as the stallion's ethereal hair that looked like blue fire was revealed.

"So are you some kind of Prince?" Rogue asked as he started to warm up and stop shivering.

"Me no, I'm a Sentinel not a Royal." The stallion explained as he sat his helmet down next to him revealing his light grey fur and fiery orange eyes. "But a more pressing matter is, how dose a Human have magic on par with that of an Alicorn like myself?" The stallion asked.

"Your guess is as good as mine but I'm more interested in elemental power anyway." Rogue said reaching his hands out to the flame as he took a fire ball in each hand before making them fly around behind him to warm his back.

"So you intend to let your magic go to waste then?" The stallion asked.

"Don't get me wrong, it's not like I'm going out of my way to let my magic go to waste it's just if I'm going to learn how to use it, then it has to be on my terms." Rogue said speaking completely honest about how he felt about his own magic.

"I see, and what if I were to offer to teach you as much or as little as your willing to learn?" The stallion asked.

"Well I'd say that's more agreeable than Luna borderline telling me I don't have a choice." Rogue said looking across at the Stallion. "But then again I don't even know your name." Rogue said already feeling much warmer.

"My apologies I never introduced my self, I am Atlas Flame the last of the Alicorn Sentinels." Atlas said with a slight bow of his head.

"I'm Rogue Winters and to my knowledge I'm the only Human in this world right now." Rogue said introducing himself.

"So what do you say Rogue, are you willing to take the first steps to mastering your magic?" Atlas asked throwing another log on the fire.

Rogue thought about it for a long while, on one hand it could be useful to have magic up his sleeve for teleporting around and doing a force push and pull as well as some other things like healing and invisibility. "Well I guess it wouldn't hurt to learn a thing or two while I make my way to Storm Peek mountain." Rogue said with a smirk.

"Perfect just let me know when you want to stop I won't judge you, after all not everyone is cut out for magic." Atlas said happily. "Let's start immediately, do you know how to activate your magic?" Atlas asked.

"Not really, all I know is that when I get angry my magic kind of just explodes." Rogue explained.

"Ok, looks like we're starting from level 0, do you feel a constant static like sensation throughout your body." Atlas asked.

"Now that you mention it, I've been feeling that since I woke up on this world." Rogue said as he remembered how that static feeling got stronger when he was angry.

"Well that sensation is your magic, do you think you can focus on it, but don't force it let it flow?" Atlas asked as he watched Rogue with renewed interest.

"Nothing ventured nothing gained right." Rogue said as he closed his eyes and focused on the static feeling in his body. "Don't force it, let it flow." Rogue thought as he used what Atlas had told him, he stayed silent with his eyes closed for a long time, Atlas thought that Rogue had fallen asleep when he opened his eyes with his eyries glowing brightly.

"Fascinating, your eyries glow like a Unicorn's horn when your using magic." Atlas said as he looked at Rogue's glowing eyes.

"Yeah I already knew that, so what's next?" Rogue asked.

"Good, now we're going to try something called visualization and manifestation." Atlas said as he watched Rogue keep his magic active.

"That sounds a little advanced." Rogue said.

"Not really, it's just a fancy way of saying make a ball of magic in your hand." Atlas said with a smirk.

"Why didn't you just say that to begin with." Rogue thought as he raised his right hand and pictured a ball in the palm of his hand it took a few minuets for Rogue to get the technique right but after half an hour he had a ball of red magic in the palm of his hand, he barely noticed a few odd flakes of snow being carried on the wind.

"Not bad, and it seems very stable." Atlas said with a smirk. "Let's try something a little more difficult." Atlas said as he stood up and walked over to Rogue to show him the magic he had in mind.

Ten Days later

Rogue looked up at Storm Peek mountain, from half way up the mountain was constantly being struck by lightning and the surrounding skies were black with dark clouds and raging winds. "Suddenly having the comfortable life as a Royal apprentice is looking very appealing." Rogue said as he gulped while looking at the mountain, the sight alone was making him want to turn around and find somewhere warm to take shelter from the near arctic weather around him. "I really don't want to go up there, but I couldn't live with myself if I gave up now... not after I've come this far." Rogue said as he began the climb up the deadly mountain, it took him days before he reached the part of the mountain that was being struck by lightning. "No going back now." Rogue said pushing on wards getting struck by lightning as he climbed each strike feeling like a thousands of blades stabbing every inch of his body, if his magic wasn't giving him massively amplified physicals abilities he would have died from the first strike but rather he endured strike after strike as he made the climb with only one thought running through his mind. "FUCK MY LIFE." After what seemed like days of getting constantly struck Rogue hardly noticed when he got struck, when he reached the submit his body flowed with shadow water fire and lightning while his eyes glowed a constant gold, he then looked up and saw a bolt of lightning about to strike him again and he simply stepped aside as he reached down and began picking up lightning crystals all the while dodging the lightning strikes as he began making his way back down the mountain towards warmer weather.

After another week of climbing back down the mountain Rogue once again found himself at ground level his elemental powers still flowing over his body, without saying a word Rogue lifted his right leg to take a step and in a flash he was running at lightning speed leaving a trail of electrical energy behind him like DC's the Flash as he covered a tremendous amount of distance in only seconds. "Sonic the hedgehog ain't got nothing on me now." Rogue thought as he passed Griffin Stone in under an hour after he started running, when he reached a warmer weather he stopped and took in the warmth of the sun after enduring weeks of bitter cold and lightning strikes.

"HAY, easy with the magic." A Griffin farmer shouted over from a nearby corn filed.

"SORRY." Rogue shouted back as he dialed down his elemental powers back until the energy faded from around his body and his eyes went back to red. "I knew I would reach four elements after around this much time, I guess Atlas was right my potential really must be off the charts for magic and elemental power." Rogue thought with a smirk as his eyes glowed with magic as a pair wings made of magic opened on his back before fading away as he lifted into the air like a Dragonball character raising up 50 feet in the air using an ancient flight spell that Atlas had taught him known as Lord of Skies Wingless Flight, unlike the flight spell used by Starlight Glimmer that was a concentration spell Lord of Skies was an activation spell able to be turned on and off like a light switch. "Alright, time to head back to Equestria to sell these lightning crystals." Rogue said shooting across the ocean towards Equestria knowing full well he'd need to be careful when he got there to avoid being found or causing more trouble.