Fuck My Life

It took Rogue only three hours to cross the ocean by combining his flight spell with his newly gained lightning powers making Rogue look like a bolt of lightning flying through the air as he quickly approached the magical land where he first appeared almost seven and a half months ago, as he got closer he stopped using his lightning powers as he steered towards a city on the coast that he could see in the distance, as he got closer to the city he passed a few Pegasi either flying to the city or away from it and those he passed stopped and stared at the wingless cloaked man who flew past them going to the city. Rogue touched down on the peer near the port and began searching for a trading post or a pawn shop, along the way Rogue got a few odd looks from the ponies on the streets as he looked around. "Damn this place kind of looks like New York, I think anyway, I've never actually been there." Rogue thought as he made his way through the streets his cloak flowing behind him, after a while Rogue found a pawn shop and walked in up to a reinforced glass screen where a pony mare was looking at him with an unsure look. "Hi, I was wondering if you could apprise something for me?" Rogue asked with a friendly smile

"Of course." The mare behind the glass said as she looked at the young man who looked like he'd been struck by lightning, Rogue reached into his pocket and placed a small purple crystal that visibly had lightning inside of it and placed it on the counter by the opening and the mare's eyes widened at once as she scrambled to pick up the crystal and examined it closely. "Do you even know what this is?" The mare asked as she looked at the near priceless crystal in her hands.

"As a matter of fact I do, but all I'm interested in knowing is how much it's worth because I have half a bag full of them." Rogue said as he looked the mare dead in the eye.

"Wait, did you just say you have half a bag full of them?" The mare asked.

"I did." Rogue confirmed.

"I need to get my boss, do you mind waiting a moment?" The mare asked getting up so fast she almost fell over as she power walked into the back of the shop as quickly, as the mare had left she returned with a stallion dressed in formal business clothes.

"Thank you for waiting, I'm Filthy Rich the owner." The stallion said with a greedy smile.

"Nice to meet you Mr. Rich, I'm the crazy bastared that got struck by lightning who knows how many times to get a whole bunch of these crystals, so I'm hoping you'll offer me a fair price." Rogue said looking the wealthy stallion up and down.

"Well that depends on how many crystals you brought." Filthy Rich said the greedy glint in his eye not going unnoticed by Rogue.

"Oh don't you worry, I brought plenty." Rogue said as he took his bag off and opened the pocket with the crystals and spilled them on the counter more or less all the crystals were bigger than the one he showed the mare and there was even one almost as big as Rogue's forearm. The ponies had their jaws on the floor at the sight of all the crystals he collected of course he still had more in his leg pockets but Filthy Rich and his employee didn't need to know that.

"Oh my Celestia, this collection has to be worth billions, I could even buy my own city complete with a castle with the value of that big one alone." Filthy Rich thought as he looked at the crystals in the same way a dragon would look at a pile of gold. The stallion gulped as he thought of a price to offer. "How does nine hundred fifty million sound for the whole lot?" Filthy Rich asked already making a mental list of ponies he would need to contact to get the money together to pay for the crystals.

Rogue's poker face almost cracked at the price he was offered. "Holy shit balls, did he just offer me nearly a billion for all these crystals." Rogue thought as he stayed silent for a few moments. "Mr. Rich, I think we have a deal." Rogue said as he saw the relived looked on the Ponies face. "Of course I think a deposit goes with out saying." Rogue said.

"A deposit?" Filthy Rich asked.

"Yes a deposit, to guarantee the sale, that and I could do with some money to get a hotel and some clothes that haven't been scorched by lightning." Rogue explained as Filthy Rich understood what he was after.

"And how much were you thinking of as a deposit?" Filthy Rich asked as he looked Rogue up and down for anything he could use to knock the price down.

"How does fithteen hundred sound?" Rogue asked.

Filthy Rich smirked at the question. "That sounds perfect." Filthy Rich said opening the door to the back of the shop. "Please, follow me so we can get the paperwork in order." He said showing Rogue into the office in the back of the shop, once the two were inside Filthy Rich closed the door and when to a filing cabinet and produced some documents for Rogue to sign. "Ok everything seems to be in order, all I need now is your bank details to make the transfer when I get the funds to pay you." Filthy Rich said as he checked everything Rogue had filled in.

"I don't have a bank account, I never really got the chance to open one after coming to this world." Rogue said sheepishly.

Filthy Rich looked surprised for a moment. "No need to worry, my friend Sound Investment is the pony in charge of the Main Hatton bank, I can give you a letter that explains the situation to him, so you can open an account after getting some new clothes." Filthy Rich said as he noticed that the leg pockets on Rogue's trousers also had lightning crystals in them.

"Are you sure, I wouldn't want to be trouble." Rogue said looking at the stallion surprised he'd be willing to do something like that.

"It's no trouble, after all we're about to close on the most profitable deal of our lives." Filthy Rich said as he handed Rogue the already finished letter, before going to the safe and taking out the agreed upon deposit and gave it to Rogue. "Besides this way I'll have the time to make the calls I need to pay you the fully agreed upon amount." Filthy Rich said as he watched Rogue walk over to the door.

"Ok so I'll be back in three or four hours then." Rogue said getting up with a huge bag of bits in one hand.

"Three hours is all the time I'll need to make my calls, I'll see you in a few hours." Filthy Rich said leading Rogue back out to the shop floor where Rogue picked up his bag and left to find a clothing shop, it had taken Rogue 45 minuets to find a clothing shop and went in, the shop catered to mares and stallions having mannequins alongside hanger wracks and shelves with folded t-shirts jumpers and trousers. Rogue looked around for some new drip and eventually settled on black casual boots in the style of work boots, dark blue strait cut jeans a white long sleeve t-shirt and a red trench coat with white fur on the inside as well as a large black duffle bag which cost him three hundred bits. He then went and found a hotel for a decent price per night, 75 bits a night for anyone who's curios, after that he took a shower in his room to wash the stink of o-zone off of him from getting hit by lightning and put his new clothes on some what sad to part with the grey cloak that had been with him since day one but he kept the clasp at least. As he left the hotel he just so happened to bump into Twilight, Shining Armor, Cadence, Night Light and Velvet who were on a big family trip to the big apple.

"Rogue what are you doing in Equestria again?" Twilight asked looking Rogue up and down finding his new look very appealing.

"Getting new drip, obviously." Rogue said doing a little spin on the spot to show off his new look.

"Twilight is this a friend of yours?" Velvet asked from the back of the group.

"More accurate to call me a drinking buddy actually." Rogue said before Twilight could respond.

"Since when did you go out drinking Twily?" Shining Armor asked as he crossed his arms, meanwhile Cadence just kept looking back and forth between Rogue and Twilight as she put the pieces together in her head.

"Oh I get it he's the guy that kissed you at Griffin Stone." Cadence said having figured it out.

"You did what to my sister?" Shining Armor asked getting aggressive.

"In my defense, I was shit face drunk at the time." Rogue said scratching the back of his head. "Honestly It's like I'm a totally different guy when I've got drink in me." He added while Twilight went red in embarrassment.

"Now, now everypony it was just a drunken kiss we've all done it once or twice," Night Light said with a smile as he put an arm around Rogue's shoulders. "That being said, if you break my little girl's heart I'll hunt you down skin you alive then burn you alive." Night Light whispered into Rogue's ear.

"I hate it when the voice of Regret is right." Rogue thought in silence.

"Come on now everypony, owr reservations are for 12 o'clock sharp." Velvet said pulling Night Light off of Rogue as the group walked away.

"Fuck me, what were the odds of that, good thing I didn't say much." Rogue thought as he watched the group walk away all while Twilight's brother and father shot him daggers over their shoulders.

"Fuck me, I think I just got out of a bad situation." Rogue thought.

"No shit Sherlock, you just avoided a shotgun wedding, barely ." Rogue's voice of Reason said.

"The fuck, I thought you only came in to my head when I'm drunk?" Rogue thought turning back to the direction he was going only to kick off into the air so he could find the bank easier, it took him a little while to find the bank due to the city being built like a maze, only for him to find it in the most obvious place, that being the only roofed building with fancy domes, when he entered the bank he walked up to the desks behind a window.

"How can I help you today sir?" The scrawny stallion at the window asked.

"I need to see Sound Investment." Rogue said.

"Do you have an appointment?" The stallion asked looking up at the tall man on the other side of the glass.

"No, but I do have an important letter for him." Rogue explained.

"I'll go get him." The stallion said getting up and going off to find the big boss. After around five minuets the scrawny stallion returned with a far more muscular stallion dressed equally as sharp as Filthy Rich. "That's him Mr. Investment." the stallion said pointing Rogue out as he went back to his desk.

"I'm told you have a letter for me." Sound said as he looked at the human in the room.

"I do, it's from Filthy Rich." Rogue said passing the letter to Sound Investment who opened it and read it on the spot making him smile with the same greed as Filthy Rich.

"Well I think we have some work to do Mr. Winters." Sound Investment said ushering Rogue to a private office that was currently unoccupied. It took an hour to get the account open but by the end Rogue was told he could come back in a few days to get his new bank card and pin number, once he left the bank Rogue went back to Filthy Rich's shop and waited until he was called in to the office to to give the details of his new account which didn't take long.

"And there we go, all done." Filthy Rich said handing Rogue a cheque for the agreed upon amount minus the fifth teen hundred of course. "The cheek should clear in 3 to 5 business days, and please come back anytime or you could pop into the Ponyville branch if your in the area." He added as Rogue carefully put the cheque in his pocket, Rogue nodded and teleported back to the bank and paid the cheque into his new account.

""Is that all?" The same scrawny stallion from before asked.

"For now anyway, I'll be back in a few days to get my new bank card." Rogue said as he left the desk and left the bank onto the street, just as he was about to start moving someone called out to him.

"Hay man it's good to see another Human after three years."

Rogue turned around and saw a white man only 2 years older than him, the man's shaggy shoulder length blond hair moving slightly in the wind, the man was wearing a green short sleeve t-shirt that was paired with dark red trousers and black shoes. "Jason, is that you?" Rogue asked as his red eyes locked on Jason's green eyes.

"Do I know you?" Jason asked not recognizing Rogue with white hair and red eyes.

"It's me Rogue, you fuckin nuter." Rogue said as he looked at Jason with an annoyed look as a cream colored mare with short straight two tone blue hair and tail wearing a nice propel out fit matched with a skirt walked up beside him and took his arm.

"Who's this J?" The mare asked as she leaned into Jason.

"He claims he's one of my old friends from back on Earth but he looks nothing like him." Jason said as he turned his head to the side and kissed the mare.

"It is me you fucking dumbass, do I need to start calling you J-O again after I kick your ass." Rogue said dropping into his fighting stance, that he totally didn't steal from kid Goku.

After seeing him drop into the highly recognizable fighting stance Jason pulled away from the mare. "Holy shit it really is you Rogue, your the only person I know who uses that stance." Jason said as could finally see that it was Rogue just a bit older than the last time they saw each other.

Rogue relaxed his stance and raised a fist to Jason and the two friends that hadn't seen each other for over three years performed a legendary bro fist for the ages that made the Earth shake even thou they were on Equis. "Well I guess this explains why you just upped and disappeared over three years ago." Rogue said as he lowered his fist, "So who's your new girl?" Rogue asked looking at the mare again.

"Oh, I'm Coco Pommel Jason's marefriend." Coco said introducing herself with a hand shake.

"I'm Rogue, Jason's brother from another mother." Rogue said being careful not to hurt Coco with his strength.

"So what are you doing these days Rogue?" Jason asked as he put an arm around Coco.

"Not much, just avoiding the law and trying to master elemental powers." Rogue said putting his hands in his pockets.

"Elemental powers, when did you be come the avatar." Jason said sarcastically.

Rogue closed his eyes as the powers of fire water shadow and lightning flowed over his body and when he opened his eyes they had changed from red to gold. "Yeah, I guess I am." Rogue said with a smirk. "What'd you think, not bad for someone who's only been here 8 months at most right?" Rogue asked as he let the power flow over his body a little longer before dropping back to normal.

"Fuck me, mate." Jason said in disbelief.

"Maybe later." Coco said softly into Jason's ear which made him snap back to reality.

"Hay Jason, uh why are you dressed like Shaggy from Scooby Doo?" Rogue asked.

"Oh shit I didn't even realize I was." Jason said looking at himself.

"There you are." An all to familiar female voice said from behind Rogue making him turn around.

"The fuck do you want Sparkle, can't you see I'm talking with my bro?" Rogue said turning around to face Twilight who was accompanied by Cadence and Shining Armor. Twilight then noticed Jason who gave a sheepish wave with a mare at his side while Rogue looked supremely pissed that she was pulling some shit again after they smoothed things out in Griffin Stone.

"I didn't know there was another Human in Equestria." Twilight said surprised at the sight of two humans at once.

"Ayo you back off from my bro, or we'll be fighting again." Rogue said getting between Jason and Twilight while Coco clung to Jason's arm, Cadence looked at Coco and Jason warmly happy to see love flourishing in all it's forms as she just walked around to talk to the happy couple.

"I'm not going to hurt him." Twilight said as she looked frustrated.

"I don't care, I still owe him big time for all the beatings he took for me at the orphanage, so I'm not letting you go near him." Rogue said as his eyes started glowing and Twilight noticed his magic had changed, it was no longer unrefined and wild it was controlled and calm like a tranquil pond at the top of some distant Chinese mountain, and then she realized that That Rogue had received magic training since the last time she saw him.

"Your magic, you've actually learned how to use it?" Twilight asked

"Yeah I met a guy who showed me a thing or two while I was on my way to Storm Peek mountain." Rogue said as he got ready for a fight.

"Who?" Twilight asked.

"Some guy called Atlas Flame, he's an Alicorn like you but he says he's the last Sentinel, whatever that is." Rogue said just about ready to launch his attack.

"That's wonderful news, I'm so happy for the both of you." Cadence said in a cheery tone, Rogue and Twilight looked back to see Cadence and Shining Armor getting along with Jason and Coco.

"Did I just miss something?" Rogue asked.

"Oh right, I was going to tell you before these guys showed up, Rogue Coco is pregnant." Jason said.

"Wait, how's that even possible, your a human and she's a pony?" Rogue asked looking at Jason as if he just slapped him with a wet fish all the while Rogue's brain was crashing and burning while trying to figure out how it was possible for a human to get a pony pregnant and what that meant for him if he went on another drunken bender.

"I don't know but I guess some kind of magic just happened." Jason said scratching the back of his head, Rogue breathed a sigh of relief for his friend as he looked at him with a warm smile.

"You do right by her and the kid Jason, or I'll come and kick your ass with everything I've got." Rogue said pulling his friend in for the manliest hug of all time, no homo.

"So what about you?" Jason asked.

"It's a little hard to be a bachelor when you live like a nomad." Rogue said with a chuckle. "besides I haven't fully gotten over the inter species barrior yet." Rogue said nervously.

"Well let me tell you this then, once you get used to the fur, a mare is no different from a woman, well tell a lie a mare is far more affectionate." Jason said putting an arm around Rogue's shoulders.

"I'll see you around Jason, hell I'll even visit from time to time." Rogue said as he walked off down the street back to his hotel room.