“Oh please, Mr. Anon.” Tourniquet rolled her eyes as she put a small coat of numbing lubricant on the stainless steel device, “You won’t feel a thing… and you’d better get used to cleaning out your urethra regularly… at least once a month.”

“I’ve gotta do what!?”

Tourniquet nodded, sighing. “I figured, it is far less common with species that don’t have longer, retracting phalluses. You see, smegma build-up, as well as dirt, oils, and other debris can form deposits…”

“Yeah, I know, just like with my old equipment… I just need to scrub under the foreskin. Uh, where is my foreskin?” Anon looked quizzically at his junk.

“That’s just it… the build-up will now tend to occur inside your urethra, potentially even causing a blockage… and infection.” Tourniquet nodded to her student, who took the speculum and stepped forward.

“Don’t you fucking dare, that thing is the size of a milk-shake straw! You aren’t going to jam it up my GAHHHHH!”

Anon quivered and shook as the student dexterously slid the speculum into his urethra, sounding several inches into him with a deft flick of her hoof.

“F-f-fuuuck!” Anon gasped. It was a bizarre feeling, stiff and stretching, burning and tingling, all at once. The rigid piece of steel slid several inches into him… before being quickly retracted.

“G-g-gah!” Anon jerked and twitched as the sound popped out of him, followed by a splatter of clear liquid — the pre-cum that had built up behind the invading device.

“Urethra is clean, elastic and flexible. He was easily able to accommodate the largest size, ma’am.”

“Yes, he’s definitely on the outside of the bell curve in several ways.” She nodded. “OK, very well done Ms. Tender… but I would like to see a little less hesitancy and more professionalism next time… agreed?”

“Yes Ma’am.”

“All that’s left then is the sample collection.” Tourniquet turned to the cart and opened a drawer.

“S-s-sample collection?” Anon gasped, still recovering from the impromptu exploration of an orifice he had previously thought impassable. “You need me to pee in a cup?”

Tourniquet shook her head as she continued exploring the drawer. “No, we don’t need a urine sample, that’s fine… oh this just won’t do.” Tourniquet lifted out what could only be described as a large, cylindrical tube… lined with silicon and fitted with a large, sturdy handle.

A fleshlight.

A big, medical fleshlight.

Anon suddenly realized just what kind of ‘sample’ the doctor was looking for.

“W-wait, you need a semen sample? What the fuck?”

“Of course — as impressive as your endowments are, they really aren’t of much use to the realm if your swimmers are unable to compete.” Tourniquet tilted the tube in her hooves. “Your semen must be checked for motility, abnormalities, et cetera… Nurse, is this really the largest size collection receptacle? There’s no way he will fit into this.”

“You’re damn right there’s no way I’m fitting into that! If you ladies need a sample, just give me a cup and get the hell out of here and I’ll arrange it for you. There’s no way in hell I’m letting you jack me off! I can handle it myself, thanks very much!” Anon crossed his fore-legs.

Tourniquet arched an eyebrow at him and tilted her head. “Really, you think you can collect your own sample? All of it? Without spilling a drop?”

“Sure! Done it plenty of times.”

“But not with your… uh… new equipment?” Tourniquet prodded.

“No, but it’s the same damn thing.”

“Perhaps. But perhaps not. Maybe just demonstrate to me the size of the ‘cup’ you would like?”

Anon shrugged and pointed at a beaker sitting on a shelf in the corner. “That should be fine.”

All three mares began to giggle.

“What!?” Anon groused.

Tourniquet, still giggling, picked up the 500mL beaker and hoofed it over to Anon. “Nothing, just that I was wondering how you’d manage to handle it when you inevitably overflow this three times over while in the throes of orgasm. Why don’t you just show me how you’d hold this cup to do the collection?”

Anon blushed, taking the cup in his hooves (difficult enough already with how unfamiliar he was with his new appendages. It was embarrassing enough to be so prominently exposed to these three females, his massive erection bouncing about proudly in front of them… without the added shame of trying to juggle the glass cup and his erection.

Awkwardly, he tried to position the cup in front of his head, like he would have if he were a human… except his penis was pointing straight up at the ceiling… and unlike his old equipment… there was almost no give in his new stallionhood… he couldn’t make it point even close to horizontal.

The tiny cup looked ridiculous as he positioned it, partly upside down on the tip of his penis. It was clear to all three mares watching that Anon had no idea what he was doing.

“Fuck.” Anon grunted, grumpily pushing the cup back to Tourniquet.

“Thanks.” Tourniquet put the cup back on the shelf, “I’m sure you could probably manage to produce a sample, of course… but I need your whole sample, not a little bit in the cup… and the rest on my walls.” She chuckled. “Now if you please, we do know what we’re doing.”

Anon mumbled, looking downward and nodding.

“To answer your question from before Doc, that is the largest receptacle in the standard cart.” Redheart shrugged. “We do have Mr. Macintosh’s custom receptacle but it is still being sanitized.”

“Yes, he was in this morning wasn’t he.” Tourniquet shook her head. “Damn. Guess we’ll just have to wait then.” Tourniquet sighed and began to turn toward the door. As she turned to the door she glanced back, looking at Redheart with a glance that implied some deeper understanding. “We will wait until the receptacle is sanitized, won’t we Miss Redheart?”

Redheart rolled her eyes. “Yes doc.”

“Good.” Tourniquet strode out the door, calling over her shoulder as she went. “Very nice to meet you, Mr. Anon. I’ll drop by later to see how things are going and we’ll see about your discharge. From the hospital, I mean.”

And with the loud click of the door, the senior doctor had left, leaving only the young doctor-in-training and the experienced nurse with the still-blushing, still awkwardly erect stallion.

Immediately, Red Heart sighed and walked over to the cart, opening up the same drawer that had contained the semen-extracting fleshlight, opening a side box and drawing out a box labeled ‘magnum XXXL unlubricated stallion condom’.

“W-what are you doing?” Tender squeaked, as the nurse pulled out a small, transparent squeeze bottle.

“Getting Anon’s sample.” Redheart casually replied, almost as if she were ignoring the student.

“B-but… Dr. Tourniquet said-”

“I heard what she said.” Redheart growled, rolling her eyes and whirling on the young student. “And I’ll give you a little piece of advice, kid.” Redheart fixed her bright eyes on Tender, “the doctors may technically be in charge of the hospital, but the nurses really keep this place running. If we wait on that custom sleeve to be ready, it means Anon won’t get discharged until tomorrow, which means this bed doesn’t get cleaned until tomorrow afternoon, which means we’re down to one long-term stay bed for almost 48 hours during a holiday weekend. That’s not gonna happen on my watch.”

Tender’s nose scrunched and her eyebrows knitted as she tried to understand, clearly even after a moment of thinking, she was unable to come up with a sensible solution so her mouth opened again, “I don’t understand, if you don’t have the right size sleeve why are you getting a condom liner ready?”

Redheart groaned and rolled her eyes as she whirled, the large condom wrapper torn so that the silicon sleeve inside could be easily accessed. “Kid, I’ve got a perfectly functional non-artificial ‘sleeve’ right here.” Her cherry-blonde tail flicked, tickling the side of her flank.

“W-wait.” The gears clinked together in Tender’s head, and her eyes widened, “WAIT, you’re saying you’re going to… buck him?”

Anon straightened up in the bed, his eyes widening. “W-what did she just say?”

Redheart grinned, shaking her head and rolling her eyes. “Bucking? Not at all, just some manual extraction.” She winked at the young doctor and nodded at the bobbing stallionhood, “If it just so happens that in doing so it helps me scratch a little ‘itch’ of my own… well, I just consider that a perk of the job.”

“Y-you can’t!” Tender’s face seemed almost pale. “It’s… unethical!”

“Kid.” Redheart sighed, putting a hoof on the student-doctor’s hock, “Are you really gonna pretend that your tail didn’t lift a little bit when you saw that…” Redheart flicked her ear and pointed with her chin quickly toward Anon’s flagstaff “...monster? Even we medical staff are just biological ponies - we have needs too, and if we can fulfill those needs while doing right by our patients…” Redheart shrugged as she strode over to Anon’s bedside.

Tender still seemed appalled, “B-but… but he hasn’t even consented, this is wr-”

“Mr. Anon,” Redheart cut Tender off sharply with an eye roll over her shoulder while casually and boldly gripping his stallionhood’s base with her right hoof to stabilize it, “Do you have any issue if I collect your sample with ‘non-standard’ equipment?”

Anon’s mouth hung open, slack-jawed, his brain once again seeming to be out of resources to process the situation he found himself in. His heart was starting to pound in his chest, a warmth forming in his belly as he felt the cute nurse give little squeezes through the frog of her hoof on the base of his new stallionhood.

“Uh…”

Redheart just smiled as he stumbled with his words, reaching forward with her other hoof and delicately balancing the thick disc of latex from the condom wrapper on the thick head of his stallionhood.

“Uh…” he repeated, as his mind struggled to catch up, watching the nurse’s movements. As he struggled to think about what to say next, his mind curiously wondered just how the Nurse could use one hoof to roll the condom down his length.

That’s when Nurse Redheart, still smiling warmly, leaned forward, and with the most skillful, delicate use of her teeth and tongue… unrolled the condom over the hoof-sized head of his penis.

“Uhhh!” Anon’s mumble was a bit louder as he saw the earth-pony use her dextrous mouth, despite it not being able to open enough to actually fit his girth, to unfurl the latex disk until it had firmly wrapped the tip of his penis. He could feel the warmth of her tongue through the latex as it pushed the latex over the lip of his head-ridge. It was the closest thing to a blowjob Anon had ever received (and maybe, technically it was?)

“N-nurse!?” Tender squeaked, standing rock solid, “H-he hasn’t consented, y-you can’t… I’m going to get the doctor!”

“Narc.” Redheart mouthed under her breath as she used her hoof to roll the remainder of the latex condom down Anon’s stallionhood — whistling softly at how even this largest size version barely stretched enough at his girthy base.

“Fine, I’ll ask again, sir…” She grinned, batting her eyebrows mischievously as her blue eyes sparkled and stared into Anon’s, “Do. You. Have. A. Problem. If. I. Use. Non. Standard. Equipment?” She mouthed each word singularly, before chuckling, clearly enjoying that Anon was stunned into stupidity.

Anon was unsure how he felt, his tail wagging underneath him, his muscles tensing and releasing, his nostrils flaring and trying to drink in the smell in the room… in short, his stallion biology quickly ramping into overdrive.

His mouth moved, quite without even realizing it: “W-what equipment?”

Redheart shot him an affectionate smile. She stepped back from the bed, whirled around, flashing the beet-red medical student an impish grin, planted her two rear hooves nice and wide, centering her plot so it was pointing right at Anon…

...and lifted her tail high.

“Why, this equipment.”

Anon had seen plenty of marehoods since coming to Equestria. It was unavoidable: tails would flick, breezes would blow, mares fell over, Derpy crashed into everything… pretty much every other day he would get an eyeful of pony pussy.

Although it had been titillating at first, it had never risen to the level of an object of arousal. The biology was just too different, and something in his monkey brain let him know that these folds of skin were just… not meant for him. While he might grin at seeing the butt of a pony, he certainly wouldn’t find himself getting his horny-level cranked to eleven…

But as that cream-colored tail lifted and shifted out of the way, he was pretty sure that he had just destroyed that horny-scale.

Anon wasn’t sure if it was his new stallion body (and it’s associated hormones), the fact that this was an aroused marehood he was seeing (instead of just the ‘normal’ ones he would catch glimpses of), or the fact that his unparalleled sexual depravity had just reached a new low… or perhaps some combination of all three.

The plump swell of Nurse Redheart’s flanks seemed almost pillowy soft, the light fuzz of her white fur doing little to blur the tight line of her lovely rear end. Anon could see the strength constrained there under the skin, her muscular earth pony stance perched invitingly wide.

Anon’s eyes traced lower, starting from the cute, smooth patch of skin underneath the mare’s upright dock. Strangely her ‘unfurred’ nethers seemed to be an ever so slightly-more cream-colored shade of white than her fur, as if her biology was purposely painting the target for his gaze.

Just below that wagging dock was Redheart’s tight, ring-shaped donut of flesh. Her tailhole, a quivering orifice that seemed taboo even to glance at, let alone imagine all the things a debauched stallion and a willing mare could do with it.

And there there was the holy grail. Redheart’s cream-colored marehood. It looked almost rosy-pink, and unlike any marehood Anon never remembered seeing. It seemed swollen and angry — much more plump and full than anything he’d seen before. The outer labia of equines looked almost alien, and yes so much more powerful and erotic than those of a human’s. Her sex glistened with wetness, reflecting the sheen of the harsh fluorescent hospital lights as the Nurse stuck her ass proudly up in the air.

“A-ah…” Anon began to mumble, before RedHeart took his breath away for the second time in as many seconds.

At that moment, for the first time, Anon saw a mare ‘wink’ without using her eyes.

In that brief glimpse, Anon could see all of the small earth-pony mare’s muscles shifting and squeezing in deliciously erotic synchronization; the pull of her powerful glutes, seeming to shiver through her thighs and up her nethers, ultimately making those powerful labial muscles squeeze and convulse.

In an instant, that perfectly plump pussy parted its pink petals. Those cream-colored lips became a flash of red-hot pink as she opened her depths to him for an instant, revealing a tight, vise-like tunnel of swirling muscular power and sticky-strands of steaming lubrication. Even more prominent than this welcoming gape was the massive, bit-sized love-button that throbbed out from Redheart’s soaking folds.

Anon gulped as he looked at the size of her clitoris; it was easily as large as two of his human thumb tips put together. He could only imagine what it would feel like to grind along such a dangerously sensitive nub of nerves.

*Neeeiigh!* *Snort*

Did I make those sounds?

Anon’s thoughts asked, though clearly the horsey noises had come from him.

Redheart didn’t seem to mind though, grinning over her shoulder at him, softly wagging her rear ever so slightly, causing her small crotchteats to swing pendulously below her. With a little snorting sniff of her own, Anon watched as the nurse blinked suddenly, making a funny face where one eye kind of squinted and her nose scrunched…

Before she ‘winked’ again, this time with an unmistakable squirt of marejuice that splattered to the floor.

“Shoot.” Redheart grunted, recovering from her convulsion. “Was hoping to avoid having to do any clean-up.”

“This is totally wrong.” Tender continued, though she hadn’t moved an inch.

“Oh give it a rest.” Redheart rolled her eyes as she put her hooves up on the nearby table covered in medical magazines. “He wants this, I want this, hay even Dr. Tourniquet wants this… just by different means. Besides, Anon here is a stallion now — he should have at least a little coaching in the use of his body before we unleash the mares of Ponyville on him.”

“Uhm…” Anon mumbled again, before clearing his throat and shaking his head. His nostrils felt like they were on fire… as if someone had scooped two spoonfuls of cinnamon into each and ordered him to snort; and yet it smelled amazing. “W-why does my nose… feel… uh…”

What are you even saying? Focus!

Anon knew he was rambling. Redheart looked back at him with affection and a sultry, smoldering gaze. Tourniquet seemed a bit more concerned, though affectionately concerned for him.

“Mr. Anon,” She gulped, as she stepped forward and levitated a stethoscope to his barrel. The cold steel of the instrument felt almost cooling as his muscular heart thumped against his ribcage, “...I’m afraid that your body has gone into rut.”

Tender Care saw the lack of understanding in his eyes and went on. “Your body has been primed by somepony’s-” she glanced angrily at Nurse Redheart, still wagging her full displayed bottom, “-actions. It won’t calm down until you’ve… uh… ‘released’.”

Anon felt his hooves moving without even being commanded, his lower body shifting out of the bed and slowly putting weight onto his hind legs, the covers of the bed sliding off, leaving only the thin hospital gown as a useless covering, his stallionhood proudly protruding out from under it. He nearly stumbled, his hooves sliding on the linoleum as he took his first step as a pony.

“C-careful!” Tender Care squeaked sliding under him deftly to take part of the weight of his upper body on her right shoulder as he tried to stand on all fours. The act brought his half-flared, fully-erect stallionhood brushing along the medical-student’s right flank, but she did her best not to react to the press of hot-wet flesh into her side… aside from the bright-red blush. “Are you… feeling OK?”

Anon nodded, even though that was probably the furthest thing from the truth he could imagine. Aside from the fact that every part of his body was feeling and acting decidedly non-human… he had a throbbing headache, his nose felt swollen and dry, his throat was constricted, his lungs were drawing great big gulps of air, his heart was hammering in his chest…

…and his cock ached as though Pinkie Pie had plugged a balloon pump into it and gone to town.

He leaned forward, staggering toward the inviting white flank and rear end of the nurse in front of him. It was like his whole vision had tunneled, the periphery of the hospital room fading as his target came into sharper focus.

All he could see now was that deliciously plump but pert ass as the nurses lower back arched even further, pushing her plot higher into the air and presenting herself even wider, her pink tail lasciviously whipping out of the way as it wagged, as if beckoning him in.

“W-woah…” Tender Care cautioned, as she continued helping him clatter over to the nurse.

“Mmmm… that’s it big boy…” Redheart giggled, wiggling her eyebrows at him and nodding. She took a couple of coy steps forward, bracing her forehooves against the empty bed in the room, which allowed her to rest her upper body and widen her rear hooves even more.

Sliding off of the student’s supporting shoulder, Anon fell forward, his hooves planting on either side of Nurse Redheart on the bed. “F-fuck…” He groaned involuntarily, more breathing it than saying it, as sweat began to bead on his forehead from the racing heart in his chest.

His body seemed to be moving of its own accord now, the instincts baked into his muscles knowing just what to do.

“Oh.. oh… SHIT.” Anon whisper-snarled as he felt his stallionhood flop down from his belly to lay across the nurse’s lower back with a meaty *thwap*.

“Ooh, it feels as big as it looks.” Redheart grinned with a coy giggle as she looked over her shoulder with a wink. “Go on then, it's not nice to keep a girl waiting…”

Anon grunted, his powerful new hindleg muscles instinctively bucking his body forward against the pleasant friction of Nurse Redheart’s backfur, even through the latex of the condom. His thick stallionhood pressed into her back, squished between their sandwiched bodies as he ground forward, pushing the Nurse’s hooves up off the ground so they were now hovering in the air.

“Oh my…” Redheart giggled, “well, take your time then, I suppose my back is nice too… I can wait until you’re ready for the main event.” She grinned impishly, affecting a casual indifference as she pulled a magazine from the bedside table over in front of her, spreading it open and pretending to read.

Fuck fuck fuck, why can’t I stop? Anon groused to himself, unable to stop his hips from thrusting vainly along the nurse’s back. It felt so good - the sensation of pleasant friction and sexual need easily tenfold anything he had experienced as a human - which made sense considering the surface area of the sensitive stallion cockhead was easily tenfold that of his former manhood.

“P-please…” Anon grunted out, his eyes racing over to look with desperation at Tender Care, who was watching with open-mouthed excitement, the medical student’s breathing coming in little puffing gasps.

The half-aroused, half-embarrassed student blinked and pointed a hoof at herself, ears flattened back against her head. “M-me?”
“Oh why don’t you hurry up and lend a hoof, already.” Nurse Heart sighed, “I don’t mind a backshot, same as the next mare, but we haven’t got all day - and he’s asking for help.”

Tender Care hesitated for a moment, before nodding and igniting her horn.

“Hahhhn…” Anon heard himself moaning softly, as he felt the magical field wrap around his condom covered cock, slowly and uncomfortably tilting and twisting his stallionhood… repositioning it. He couldn’t help but rear up to relieve the pressure of the force being applied to his stallionhood, clattering backwards slightly as the medical student rearranged his angle, aligning him anew.

“Oh… oh~!” He grunted again as he felt something new against his cockhead - something warm pressing through the thin layer of latex.

“Oooh…” Redheart squeaked, her neck muscles tightening and her body tensing up under him, “...he really is bucking big.” For the first time, Anon thought he heard notes of trepidation in Redheart’s tone.

Immediately, though his hips bucked instinctively. Under him, he felt the smaller nurse-pony tense and scooch forward, nimbly dodging his instinctive thrust.

“Easy there, big fella…” She chuckled nervously, “I’m uh… well just take it slow, OK? I’ll need a bit to uh… adjust to your size.” She glanced back over her shoulder at him with twinkling blue eyes and a delightful smile.

But Anon had no control over what his body was doing - he could feel his immense lower muscles tensing and priming for a new thrust, his teeth clenching as he softly let out a strained apology.

“S-sorry!”

He had a front-row show to Redherat’s blue irises as they widened and quivered, his next thrust hitting the ‘target’ squarely and driving home.

Author's Note

Anon's a lucky motherfucker.