Despite knowing Eight Bit had seen my true form, I returned to the only place I knew intimately enough to teleport to: no, not Hell—my bed. It was the only place I felt safe (frequent surprise visits from a pink nephilim and a certain flammable bird notwithstanding, of course).

I was too scared to leave. I locked my doors, blocked them with everything I could get my hooves on, and then I just... waited. I waited for the inevitable fallout, all but sure that I would have an angry mob of ponies on my doorstep the following day, ready to break in with pitchforks and torches, only... for nothing of the sort to happen.

Confused and wary, my heart beating wildly in my chest, I chanced a peek out of my bedroom after removing most of the objects barring entry into my bat cave (hilarious, I know). The sight that greeted me was... boringly normal. Not even a maid tidying up against my wishes or a guard waiting to arrest me once I dared leave my sanctuary. No pink nephilim, either.

"Strange," I muttered to myself. I would have thought for sure that somepony would have been there to make my life harder by giving me a headache, at the very least. Was Eight Bit trying to play mind games with me?

I slowly opened my bedroom doors and slipped out into the living room. I checked every corner of my apartment suite in case I was about to get ambushed. Still, there was nopony there hiding under the furniture or in my fridge or my shower.

I stopped at the entrance to my private slice of the castle, hesitating. Did I really want to go out there and face everypony's wrath? It would be much easier to hide here and pretend nothing happened. That would be the cowardly option, though. I was by no means a frightened little filly too afraid to stand up for myself and face the backlash of my actions, whether they were a mistake or not.

I was a grownup demon living an ordinary life of sin and debauchery while somehow still earning the respect befitting of a princess concerned for her fellow ponies after making some actual progress toward equality among all pony tribes and not the faux equality the nobles liked to pretend existed before I shook things up; I could deal with everypony staring at me like I was an alien walking among them.

Even if those ponies might take out the pitchforks and torches, hanging me off the side of Canterlot for being 'evil' and whatnot. It was no big deal. My life might as well be over, but at least I tried. Perhaps being nice and shit was a mistake, nothing more than a silly dream, but I enjoyed it while it lasted, damnit.

I gulped nervously and opened the doors, twitching at every sound of an early Canterlot morning in the castle. There were no guards standing watch near my suite, but I could tell the usual pair at the end of the hallway were already there, making sure nopony unauthorized wandered into the royal wing.

"Okay..." I mumbled shakily, tail flicking anxiously behind me while my fidgety wings refused to stay calm. Neither did my heart. "So far, so good. H-here goes nothing..."

I left my safe haven behind, walking at a totally normal pace past the guards before realizing my tail was desperately trying to tuck itself in. I tried ignoring the judgmental looks on the back of my head as they no doubt watched me walk further away, but the loud drums in my ears made that all but impossible.

I was being watched by everyone. The castle staff made a wide berth around me as I walked past, and I could swear the royal guards tightened their grip on the enchanted spears in their grasp. I hurried along, ears flicking every way at the whispers around me, and the sound of my heart kept getting louder while my breathing picked up speed.

My haste led to me almost stumbling down the stairs. Ponies kept giving me weird looks on my way to the dining hall. Before I could reach it, though, I ran into Sunset. As in, I collided with the amber unicorn mare.

"..!" Sunset shoved me off of her, grumbling something my ears didn't quite catch. "—you hiding—"

I let out a startled yelp, scrambling to get away from her. I tripped once before breaking out in a sprint, fleeing from the devil hiding behind that glare, not looking where I was going. That caused me to run into Shining Armor, sending me into a full-on panic.

One chase later, I slammed the doors of the private dining chamber shut behind me while holding them closed with quivering legs and wild eyes, breathing heavily. Cadance and Aunty Celestia stared at me with perplexed expressions on their muzzles while Philomena trilled in concern. My aunt and Cady quickly hurried to my aid. The guards and kitchen staff turned their judgmental gazes on me and—

"Breathe, niece," Aunt Celestia told me, and I flinched, startled that she was so close to me all of a sudden. "What happened?"

"I... I..." I said, shuddering with every intake of air. Fuck, why was it so hard to get even a tiny amount of air into my lungs? It felt like they were about to pop!

"Here," the white alicorn interrupted my frantic thoughts before I could panic further. In her golden horn magic floated a paper bag that smelled of freshly baked bread. I took it from her and held it to my muzzle, feeling uncomfortable at being the center of attention for all the wrong reasons. The lustful or disapproving stares I could deal with. This? I felt scared and small and fucking afraid someone would— "Could you please leave us? Pleasure needs the comfort of the close family only," Aunt Celestia said, ordering everypony to leave despite the gently worded request.

"T-thanks," I mumbled, still shivering from the stress. Philomena landed beside me and nudged me with her beak, cawing sadly. Even the chicken flambé was being nice today, huh? Maybe I should have panic attacks more often. "I'm s-sorry for causing a scene..."

"Think nothing of it, niece," Aunt Celestia said, smiling reassuringly. Cadance shuffled anxiously next to her as she used her body to block me from sight as much as possible. "Now, calm down and tell us what happened. Is there anything we could do to help?"

I took her advice to heart and allowed myself to just tremble until my body processed the chaotic feelings running rampant throughout my body. As soon as I felt remotely ready to speak, I opened my mouth to tell them what happened. "I..." I began, only to find tears threatening to spill instead.

Cady frowned, an odd glint in her pretty purple pony eyes. "Did Eight Bit hurt you?" she asked, ruffling her feathers in a threatening, protective way. "I swear if he—"

"No! He... he didn't," I answered, lips wavering. The first tears began to trickle down my cheeks to my jaw. That opened the floodgates. "He... he saw me."

"Oh, Pleasure," Aunt Celestia whispered comfortingly, and I allowed her to hug me. I leaned into her coat while she patted my head, quickly soaking her pristine, white fur. "Do I need to banish him?"

"What..? No!" I exclaimed, startled. I looked up at her mischievously sparkling magenta eyes and sagged in uncertain relief. I bit my lip. "You wouldn't actually do that, would you?" I asked, not entirely sure she was 'just' joking.

My aunt smiled. "No," she responded, nuzzling me softly. She wiped away my tears before booping me on the tip of my muzzle, giggling. "I would do much worse to him if he ever hurt you."

I paled at her happy attitude. Holy shit, she would. Oh, my fucking God, she actually would. She totally would, no doubt about it. I could tell from the fury carefully hidden away in her eyes. There was something incredibly primal concealed in them, waiting to be unleashed. Nothing could stand in her way if she genuinely felt the need to give in to that whisper of rage. Nothing.

Fuck. My aunt was scary. I... I wasn't sure whether or not I should feel touched or horrified. Probably both.

"What am I going to do?" I asked, trying to dismiss the thought of my aunt ushering in the apocalypse because someone was a dick to me. "He will tell everypony and then—"

"Nothing has happened yet," Aunty Tia reminded me, placing her head on mine. She rubbed my side reassuringly, almost cocooning me in her enormous white wings. At the same time, Cadance gazed at me with saddened pity. Aunt Celestia hummed softly. "Is he the type to ruin a pony's life simply because he can?" she asked me, drawing my attention away from Cadance as she leaned back to look down at me. "He's a recruit in the guard, isn't he? I'll send for him. I want to find out just what kind of intentions this young stallion has for you." I gulped as her eyes turned hard, afraid she would go so far as to imprison my friend. 'If' he was still my friend.

Aunty Celestia wouldn't go that far, right? She abhorred the idea of being unfair to her subjects. Then again, I was uncertain to what lengths she would go to get creative to enact retribution on someone she perceived to have slighted her and her family.

For all I knew, she would sick a cockatrice on him and add his statue to the others in the garden (there were some very odd ones there I could swear were a bit too life-like). Or would she banish Eight Bit to some secret location he would never be able to escape from, like the changelings? Heck, I wouldn't put it past her to try and send a pony to the moon; her magic was more than powerful enough to make it possible for her to succeed. Those rumors about Nightmare Moon must have come from somewhere, right?

Pfft. Yeah, right. The image of Aunt Celestia physically throwing somepony to the moon was just ridiculous. Funny, but ridiculous. Ponies and their imagination, I swear.

I heard Cadance mutter something along the lines of breaking Eight Bit's bones for making me cry, but when I looked back at her, she looked ready to hug the living daylights out of me as soon as Aunt Celestia let go of me. Philomena flapped away before my pink friend could trap the bird between us. Traitor. "Ack! Cadance..! My... lungs..! Have... mercy! I think I see the light... at the end... of the tunnel..."

"Shut up, Ish," she commanded me, tears glistening in her eyes. Aunty Celestia left us alone for the moment, departing with her pet bird to find the stallion responsible for my emotional turmoil. Or so I assumed. Cadance sighed, heartbroken. "This wasn't how I thought it would go..."

Speaking of my fucked up date... "How exactly did you expect it would go?" I said, frowning. Theatrics aside, I had a legitimate reason to be mad at her. "Did you think we would kiss? Marry? Rescue a poor orphan and live happily ever after?"

"Uhm..." she blushed. "Aside from the orphan thing—"

"Cady, I know you set him up to crash and burn," I interrupted her flatly. She had the decency to look ashamed, blushing furiously now. "Weren't you the one to pester me about dating someone?"

"Well..." she mumbled, shuffling away from me. "I didn't think you would date any of them." Hah! Yeah, right. I could pull my own fucking leg. I kept staring flatly at her, and she looked away to the side, bashful. "I just... wanted you to open up to the idea, that's all. You were so lonely, and the way you were betrayed isn't how all relationships go, so I thought that maybe you could put it behind you and—I don't know—be less bitter about it. I wanted you to consider asking somepony out instead of always denying it from the get-go. It would have been fun gossiping and admiring the colts together. You know? A-as best friends do and stuff..."

Ugh. This again. "You're such a dummy," I grumbled as the feeling of ice returned to my chest. I was open to the idea; you were just too blind to notice what I felt for you. What I still felt for you. Stupid, annoying pink nephilim. "Now that I'm willing to try it, you don't think I should? Why? Is it because you're together with Shiny now?"

Cady looked almost offended at my accusation, visibly shaken. "What? No! This has nothing to do with Shining Armor!" she denied, glaring grumpily at me. "Eight Bit clearly wants something from you!" she explained herself. Or what it actually was: making excuses for herself. "He has been stalking you! I know he only joined the guard to be closer to you. And you know what? He didn't even think of an idea for a date that would have impressed you. He wanted to do something nerdy with you, and then what? You would have snubbed him, anyway!" I blinked as electricity sparked off her wings, the smell of ozone in the air. "I didn't want you to be too disappointed because he fucked it up, so I told him what he should do to appease you at the very least!"

Woah, there! "Okay, okay! Cadance? Cady! Hey! I need you to calm down. Can you do that for me?" I told her, holding up my hooves defensively. "Take a deep breath and let it out..."

She snorted angrily. "I. Am. Calm!"

"Right," I deadpanned, motioning toward the holy energy waiting to be unleashed on a poor, defenseless victim. She gave her wings a betrayed look before crossing her forelegs over each other. "As cute as you are being all pouty,"—I snickered at the blush my comment provoked—" that still doesn't answer why you did it. You could have told him what I liked doing, but you didn't. Instead, you set him up with the perfect date for you. Is Shining Armor not enough for you that you try messing it up for Eight Bit to snatch him away, as well?"

"What?! No!" she denied. "I would never do that to you, Ish! We're... we're best friends." Are we? Sometimes, I wondered. Was that really what we were? Or was she just telling herself that? It was almost like she said that reluctantly. Perhaps I really did misjudge her. Perhaps Shining wasn't keeping Cadance away from me, but Cadance was doing it herself. "I just want you to be happy. Eight Bit is going to break your heart; I know it! He isn't the right... stallion... for you." She looked away, ears wilting in shame.

The right stallion, huh? "That's for me to decide, isn't it?" I reprimanded her, miffed. Bitch.

She flinched. Hesitantly, she turned back around, tears shimmering in her gorgeous, light purple eyes. "I'm sorry, Ish. I've—I haven't been thinking clearly. Can you forgive me?"

I gave her a skeptical look. I wanted to stay mad at her, but... seeing the genuine regret in her eyes at the mere thought of having hurt and manipulated me... I caved into her stupidly adorable face. For fuck's sake... "Fine," I sighed. Then, I held out a foreleg invitingly. "Come here, you, you pest."

"Hey!" she pouted, happily snuggling up to me. "I'm not a pest!"

"Whatever you say, you pink nuisance," I teased her. I received a half-hearted attempt of a swat from her for my troubles. I blushed as she melted against me. She was a friggin' enigma, wasn't she? If I didn't know any better, I would get the wrong idea here.

That wasn't possible, though, was it? She was together with Shining Armor. She was happy with him, wasn't she? And yet, I kept getting these doubts about her. Was she truly happy with him? They haven't even kissed yet (I would know; Shining kept lamenting over the fact she wanted it to be 'memorable,' only to come up with reasons why it wasn't the perfect moment yet).

She certainly acted like she was happy with him whenever I saw her in his presence. On the surface, it was a picture-perfect romance. But beneath it? I was confused. I knew she wasn't putting on an act; her feelings were as genuine as Shining's were, yet something was seemingly holding her back.

Was it her half-angelic nature? Did she fear losing her grace if she gave in to the succubus hungering for his essence? Or did she fear breaking him by accident? For an inexperienced succubus, killing their victim on pure chance without meaning to was entirely possible. Especially a celibate half-succubus like her.

My musings were cut short as Aunt Celestia returned with Shining Armor and a nervous Eight Bit in tow. I gulped. The fearful panic threatened to return, afraid to find out what Eight Bit thought of me after having seen my demonic pony self.

My focus swapped to Shining Armor for a split second, and I wondered why he was there. Did he notice Princess Celestia searching for the brown-gray pegasus? Did he help her? Or did Aunty think it would be a good idea to have him present for the discussion, as well? He was Cadance's boy toy, after all.

Aunty Celestia ordered the two stallions to stand before her, her wings unfurling to their impressive size in an authoritative demand for their full attention. "Cadet Shining Armor, 'Special Agent' Eight Bit," she started, voice firm. "It has come to my awareness that you might have learned government secrets that might endanger my nieces' safety if they became public knowledge."

The air took on a noticeable haze as she made the two stallions sweat. Cady and I shared a glance, only ever having seen our aunt behave so sternly once. Not even the griffons managed to piss her off to the degree she forwent being nice to them altogether.

"If you so much as think about leaking that information, intentionally or not, there will be nowhere you could hide where I wouldn't be able to find you," Aunt Celestia warned them. Eight Bit looked ready to piss his metaphorical pants. I felt a shiver run down my spine as her eyes glowed menacingly. For a moment, I swore they were a bright yellow, slit like mine. A glance at Cady told me she hadn't noticed anything, so I shook my head, unsure. I was seeing things now; Aunty's eyes were completely normal. "I won't tolerate you breaking their hearts in any way. Is. That. Clear?"

"Y-yes, Ma'am!" Shining Armor responded immediately while Eight Bit nodded shakily. Aunt Celestia narrowed her eyes on him testily.

"I-I swear!" he squeaked, adding 'Ma'am' as an afterthought, trying to appear smaller than he was out of fear. "I don't mean her any harm! I—"

"Since you have already informed Cadet Armor, I'm not so sure you understand the severity of the situation," she interrupted him. I felt my heart sink at that revelation. I knew it. Why would he keep quiet if it stood to reason both Cadance and I weren't what we appeared to be? Aunty continued, "A wrong word at the wrong time could irreparably damage the future of Equestria as a whole. I will not see my beloved nieces come to harm because some zealots went on a crusade to root out an 'evil' where there is none. It will be your fault if the chaos of such an event caused the end of Equestria's peace as we know it. Countless lives will be on your hooves." Both stallions cowered in front of her while she glared down at them. "Is that understood?" They nodded meekly. "Good," she smiled, relaxing as her motherly attitude returned as if nothing had happened.

Cadance leaned her head closer to mine, whispering, "Is it weird if I think that was kinda hot?" I mutely shook my head. Holy fuck, I was so glad Aunt Celestia gave us the benefit of the doubt when we first met.

"Now, I'm sure both of you have questions," our aunt continued. "I ask that you don't overwhelm either Cadance or Pleasure, or I will be quite cross with you. Let them explain what they are comfortable with sharing. If I hear you pressed either of them for answers, I won't be so kind with my words the next time." Shining Armor and Eight Bit shuddered as they mutually agreed with a nod to each other to never get on their princesses' wrong side ever again.

Aunt Celestia turned to us with her serene smile, happy to have put that matter to rest. I shifted on my hooves, reluctant to dispel my visage and have them look at me differently. Even now, I could tell Eight Bit was scared of seeing me. My pride as a demon and succubus warred with the pony I had become, having grown more comfortable with how I looked now than I ever did in Hell.

Cadance put a comforting hoof on my shoulder, and I felt the calmness return at the same time as the ache that tore at my heart with the unrelenting anguish of the unreturned feelings I held for her. I turned away, not wanting to see their reactions, and let go. There were a couple of gasps, then silence.

"What kind of batpony are you?" Eight Bit asked, finally. His voice was devoid of fear or accusation, sounding almost fascinated if anything.

"I..." I blinked, rendered speechless. He thought I was some kind of batpony variant? I mean... it wasn't too far off the mark, but... what?

"Are you... taller?" he went on, slowly coming closer as he got more confident. Aunty Celestia watched both stallions with a careful eye as they studied me. Shining's eyes lingered on the picture on my flanks, frowning slightly.

"What happened to your cutie mark?" the white unicorn asked instead.

"This is my cutie mark," I answered, frowning back. Eight Bit also craned his neck to see, so I turned sideways. "It still represents passion, desire, and pleasure."

"What's with the star?" Eight Bit asked, tapping his chin. "And is that supposed to be a tail? I get the horns, even though they look different from yours, but that looks almost like a dragon's."

I blushed as he got a bit too close, and my purple fly swatter took that as its cue to stand up in a clear show of my willingness to get laid. Cadance snickered beside me. "I-it's not a star."

"What you mistake for a star is a pentagram," Aunty Celestia explained. "It is a symbol to ward off evil. Each point represents a different aspect used to contain what is trapped inside. Fire to cleanse, water to purify, air to circulate, earth to ground, and magic—or spirit, as some interpret it—to bind."

"What do you mean, 'contain'?" Shining Armor frowned.

"I am not a pony," I responded, eyes glowing menacingly while my voice took on the typical demonic bite. "Or... not a batpony, to be exact. I do appear as a kind of pony in my true form here." Which was peculiar, to be honest. I thought it was the fault of the summoning spell Prismia used, but my humanoid form was gone. If I wanted to be my bipedal self again, I would have to use a visage.

"And what kind of pony would that be..?" Shining Armor asked me, deliberately staying away from us, thoroughly spooked by my brief antagonism.

I smirked, suddenly standing by his side, whispering hotly into his ear, "Why, a succubus, of course." He stiffened considerably as I brushed the sharp claw of my wing's finger over his back, letting my succubus powers do the rest to instantly turn him horny. I giggled, hiding my smile behind a hoof. "Oh, my. Don't let Cadance catch you eyeing another mare~. You naughty pony!"

"Pleasure," Cady groaned, and I cackled demonically. "Please, don't give him a heart attack?"

I pouted. "You're no fun," I said with a careless shrug. It would be one less problem in my eyes, but alas, doing it on purpose would be counterproductive to me.

Cadance rubbed her leg shyly. "You can do... whatever you want with, uhm... Eight Bit. Just... leave Shiny out of it?" Huh. Was that uncertainty in her voice? How cute.

I sighed dramatically, "Very well, I won't tempt your boy toy into being unfaithful to you. You keep a tight leash on him; maybe buy him a collar or something."

"Hah, hah. Very funny, Ish," she groused, though I did see her try to keep in a smile. Not very successfully, at that. "Do I need to smite you? Or do you want me to put a collar on you?"

I grinned in mischief. "Oh, yes! Please do, Cadance! Punish this naughty, naughty demoness! Ahn~," I moaned exaggeratedly, causing not only her to blush but also the two guards in training. Our aunt was already used to our flirty antics and my particular brand of shenanigans, so she merely shook her head good-naturedly, rolling her eyes.

"Oh, if you want punishment, maybe I should spank you instead?" Cadance teased me back. My heart lurched in my chest while Eight Bit and Shining watched us with slack-jawed muzzles. "But then again, you would love it if I smacked that thick plot of yours until it's flaming raw, wouldn't you?"

I shuddered. "Ngh, fuck..." I pouted, knowing she wouldn't go through with that particular threat. What a bummer. "You're evil. I will be frustrated for the rest of the day, you know that? Fuck, I need to get laid so bad."

Cadance snickered mercilessly, amused at the obvious arousal clearly on display. And I didn't just mean my tail. Eight Bit hesitantly raised his hoof as if he were in a classroom. At the same time, Shining's eyes bugged out as he noticed where Cadance was staring unapologetically. "Wait a minute, you have a—" he blurted out before I forcefully shut his muzzle with my magic. Rather harshly, too. I growled.

"Yes, I have 'a,'" I sneered. Then, I got an idea. Instead of lashing out at him further, I could just as well drag my best friend down with me. I grinned, "For that matter, Cadance has 'a,' too."

"Bwah—Uh... wha..?" Shining eloquently formulated his response. Cady paled ever so slightly as the unicorn turned to her with a look of realization and horror. "Wait... Princess Celestia said that this secret pertains to both of you. Y-you're a s-succubus, too? You—I—You—What..?"

Cadance decided to rip the band-aid off and revealed her true form to him (and Eight Bit), waiting shyly for him to regain his composure. He was failing miserably. I frowned in disapproval at his reaction. "I'm not 'just' a succubus," she tried to explain, though Shining slumped down to the floor with his ass, staggered. Her ears wilted, her light purple eyes searching for assistance in my fiendishly red ones. I raised a brow, unsure whether or not it was a good idea to explain what had happened to her. I subtly shook my head, and she continued, swallowing nervously, "I'm what's called a nephilim, a half-breed. I, uh... I'm halfway between a succubus and an angel?"

Eh, good enough. I doubted either of them knew what an angel was if they weren't even aware of succubi around these parts. Not commonly, anyway.

"How... how old are you?" Shining managed to speak, crestfallen. Cadance winced. "Is that why you treat me like I'm too young and need to be taught how to be an adult? Cadance, I'm not a foal anymore!"

I snorted. "No, but you act like a juvenile stallion," I responded instead of her, deciding to come to her defense. "Both of you do, in fact. There's nothing wrong with being inexperienced, but you being put off by a girl having a dick? It tells much of your maturity if you hold it against her. Nopony is telling you to suck her off,"—Shining flinched as I made my eyes glow threateningly at his disgusted expression while Eight Bit gulped, nervously eyeing my member with what must be intimidation or fear; I wasn't sure, his emotions were kind of all over the place—" nor is she going to force you under her and ram her pretty cock up that tight ass of yours,"—I ignored Cadance's embarrassed exclamation in favor of berating the unicorn further (though she did look turned on by the idea~)—" so I would be very careful of what you say next. She is a mare—as am I—as much as Aunty Celestia or any other pony saying so is. And don't come at me with 'biology' because that is a weak excuse to treat her with less respect than she deserves."

"I-I would never!" Shining Armor shot back. "I... I love her. That won't change because... because of what... she has."

I snorted, sensing the falsehood from a mile away. "Do not lie to me or her. I can tell when you aren't being entirely honest. It unsettles you, does it not? You feel sick," I accused him, and he flinched. I sighed, wiping the sneer from my face as I adopted a neutral look. Instead of condemning him from the start, I might as well give him a chance to grow in character and maturity. And if not? Well... I would love nothing more than to see him crash and burn. "It's okay. Everypony needs time to get used to something new. You don't have to like it—I know this isn't for everyone—but you must accept that it is a part of her. If you don't, it will drive a wedge between you, whether you want it to or not. Because if you can't accept one part of her, how can you love the whole of her?"

Aunty Celestia hummed approvingly in agreement. "Wise words, my niece," she stated, nuzzling my cheek affectionately with hers. Then she turned to the two stallions with a carefully crafted mask. "I suggest you take some time to think of what you have learned here today and come to terms with the reality of your relationships with my nieces. Remember: not a word to anypony else outside of this group. I won't be so forgiving the next time."

Shining Armor glanced one last time at Cadance before leaving the room in muted shock. I would have loved to mention to Cadance that I told her so, but she was distraught enough as it was. Besides, it felt like a hollow victory to be vindicated in my belief he would inevitably break her heart. I had hoped he was above such poisoned beliefs, but he lived in Canterlot in a neighborhood where he no doubt picked up the fear of being seen as a 'colt cuddler.' His time being shunned in school probably didn't help either.

As open and accepting as Equestria was, for the most part, the Canterlot elite wasn't exactly known for being progressive. It rubbed off on some of the ponies living near the 'nicer' neighborhoods around here (nicer meaning the rich snobs more concerned about their breeding and wealth than being nice). Most unicorns not of 'noble' birth usually grew out of that mindset once they realized it was utter bullshit and that they would be nothing more than pawns in their games (not that I wasn't doing my absolute best to destroy their notions of superiority, anyway).

Eight Bit hesitated as he stood next to me. "I, uh..." he began but stopped to glance back at Cadance with me. Aunty was whispering faintly into her ear, trying to comfort the glum mare to the best of her ability. I frowned, pained to see my best friend in such a distraught state. Fucking Shining Armor, I swear. A hollow victory, indeed. "I'm sorry."

I glanced at the pegasus, raising a confused brow. "What for?"

"About everything," he shrugged. "Or, more specifically, how Shining reacted? I didn't think he would be weird about it."

My frown returned. "Thanks for blabbing to him, by the way," I grumbled. Eight Bit at least had the decency to look ashamed of doing so. "Next time, keep the gossip to yourself."

"I will..." he said, turning back to see my aunt and Cadance hug briefly. "I really am sorry, Pleasure," Eight Bit repeated. From the looks of it, he was genuinely beating himself up about it. Not that his regret mollified me in the slightest. He sighed, looking at me from the side. "Hug her? I would still like to get to know you, even explore what a, you know, "—he gulped shallowly, gesturing vaguely—" relationship would be like with you if you still want to give dating a chance, but..."—he rubbed his neck, unsure of himself—" I understand it if you would rather be with her. You would make for a cute couple."

"Cute?" I asked, snorting. He blushed, starting to get bashful. "You're one weird pony, Bit. You don't find me hideous?"

He raised a brow, confused. "Should I?"

"I'm not exactly 'cute' if you haven't noticed it yet," I reminded him, fidgeting with my sunburnt wings and chipped, cloven hind hooves. I nodded at Cadance meaningfully. "She's what most ponies around here find 'attractive.'"

Eight Bit shrugged. "I'm not like most ponies," he told me. Heh. Well, would you look at that? He had me there, didn't he? "To be honest, I find the dark and intimidating look has its own charms. You are you; I cannot imagine you any other way, whether with these sick ram horns and, uh... extra bits..."—he blushed, stealing another glance curiously—" or as the batpony mare I got to know you as. There's nothing hideous about any of that."

I couldn't help but scrunch up my muzzle as he gave me his reasons. "How... sickeningly courteous of you," I mentioned, smiling despite my misgivings. It was nice being complimented in such an honest and yet naïve way. I might just have to keep him around if he didn't run away screaming once he learned what a succubus truly was. Or what I did and endured in Hell. "We will see where we go from this point onward." Eight Bit nodded, and just as he was about to leave, I called after him, "And Eight Bit? The next time we go on a date, don't listen to Cadance for advice on relationships. She doesn't take too kindly to ponies stalking me."

Eight Bit let out a startled whinny. "I-I wasn't..!" he tried to deny but fell silent as he saw my raised brow. "I... I didn't know where to find work after school, and... everypony going separate ways was kind of scary, so I thought that with Shining becoming a guard, I would have at least two friends here with me. I applied and got accepted the next day, so I assumed you saw it, and, uh..."

"I played favorites?" I remarked, my expression blank. He nodded, ears wilting. I rolled my eyes, exasperated. "Bit, I'd sooner kick you out of the guard and force you to become a software developer than play favorites by helping you with your idiotic scheme." He winced at my bluntness. "If I were playing favorites, I would promote you to my personal bodyguard."

He snorted, smiling in a subdued way. "I thought that was the purpose of my promotion to Special Agent Monster Bait?"

I smirked back, amused. "I suppose it was. Report to Agent Furlong that you have been officially assigned as my bodyguard, then."

"W-wait, what?" Eight Bit sputtered. I chuckled at his reaction, but just to be sure, I summoned a piece of parchment with my demonic contract magic. It was kind of useless to a succubus since we usually ended up being forced into signing the damn things instead of an unsuspecting, hapless mortal. Still, it had its uses of creating a quick message with only a thought. I gave it to Eight Bit, and he blanched at the orders written on it.

The message read as such: "Her Royal Divine Highness, Princess Mi Libidine Passione, Deity of Lust, Fertility and Passion, Matron of the Batpony Tribe, Eternal Defender of the Realm and Her Allies, Commanding Head of the Equestrian Forces, Special Agent of the S.M.I.L.E. Branch, Bane of Monsterkind, She Who Knows Truth from Falsehood, Archon of Desire, Appointed Substitute of the Royal Crown in Emergencies, and Co-Ruler of Equestria, places the pony known as Eight Bit under Her direct command as Personal Security. Henceforth, his rank will reflect that of Special Agent Monster Bait within the S.M.I.L.E. Branch of the military."

"I hope you like long, tedious hours of boredom standing around in one spot while I do paperwork or hold court," I teased him. He looked even more ashen now. "That's what you get for being a 'genius' with your so-called master plan of not losing touch with your friends, my 'dear.'"

I left Eight Bit to his troubled thoughts, cautiously approaching Cadance and Aunt Celestia. The big swan goose murmured a few reassuring words into Cady's ears, prompting the smaller mare to blush before she noticed me. "H-hey, Ish."

"Hey..." I responded, glancing suspiciously at Aunty Sunbutt as she excused herself with a shake of her head and a smile. I swear, I heard a quiet giggle from her as she left us alone in the private dining room. I looked back at Cady, confused. "What was that about?"

"N-nothing," she answered, totally not hiding anything whatsoever. I frowned, not sure whether or not I wanted to know. "So..! You and Eight Bit," she began, rubbing her foreleg awkwardly. "How do you think he took it?"

"Me being a demon?" I asked. "Or the fact I have a dick while I appear like this?"

Cady's face flushed further as her fur tried imitating a tomato. Oh, how I loved seeing her get all flustered... "Both?"

I shrugged. "I'm not sure he understands the implication of me being a succubus, honestly." To be honest, ponies weren't very knowledgeable about demons, monsters, and the undead. Most ponies only thought of the trident and pointy horns when thinking of a common demon; hardly anypony knew anything about the Seven Deadly Sins.

Cadance mirrored my thoughts, saying, "Well, to be fair, most ponies aren't familiar with Heaven and Hell." I made a noncommittal noise. I still couldn't entirely wrap my head around that. Aunty did her best to isolate Equestria and the rest of the world from every other part of existence. Rightly so.

Prior to my summoning to Equestria, I was under the assumption God created everything out of boredom and called it a day before leaving a dickhead in charge of Heaven. Granted, humans usually summoned me, so I wasn't exactly familiar with what the multiverse had to offer beyond God's creation.

I might be jaded here, but my experiences with humanity as a whole wasn't exactly 'wholesome,' and that wasn't even taking into account the nasty shit hiding among mankind. I didn't want to find out what else I might have encountered if I had gone exploring past God's playground, seriously. Ponies were deceptively tame despite the various predators and monsters making this world their home.

There was a reason why ponies were the dominant species on this planet, even though they were considered a 'prey' species. The ability to easily manipulate the weather overshadowed any human magic I had ever encountered. Nor could druidic magic keep up with earthponies when they felt like showing off. Unicorns were comparatively weak, discounting those who had a special talent for magic. Those could wipe the floor with any mage on Earth. And that was not even mentioning Princess Sun on the Butt.

As far as humanity went, I wouldn't know which side would win in case of a conflict. Anything from medieval times would undoubtedly lose, though. It really was a big difference if you merely had access to magic like most human summoners I came across over the years versus having a cutie mark of any kind.

Ponies were more in tune with the universe's fundamental weave to the point I would go so far as to claim that magic was playing favorites. Destiny alone favored the cute, cuddly fuzzballs, so... offend at your own risk was all I would say regarding that.

Now, Heaven and Hell were another matter entirely. If it came to a fight between the forces of angel fucktards versus cuddly ponies versus evil hellspawn, nothing would be left standing as the demons would annihilate anything in their path while the angel pricks wouldn't give a flying fuck unless God told them so. The angels wouldn't even care about the apocalypse until it was their turn to put a stop to it like the 'good' little soldiers that they were.

Ahem! Anyway! Aunt Jellobutt's warning of worse things than Heaven and Hell existing out there still unsettled me. Just the Cthulhu myth alone gave me the shivers. I would be more than happy to never encounter an eldritch horror or worse in my immortal life, seriously. People with tentacles in places where no tentacles should be were more than enough, thank you very much. As far as tentacle monsters went, those were the 'fun' kind. I'd rather not experience what the 'not-so-fun' kind could do to my sanity.

But that was enough of that. Cadance was giving me a contemplative look. "Do you..." she started, shyly rubbing the base of her golden, curly ram horn. "...maybe want to raid the kitchen for snacks? I could use a pick-me-up."

I studied her carefully for a moment, starting to get the feeling she was subtly trying to flirt with me, only to realize that that was what close friends did during relationship drama, right? I nodded, the cold, icy feeling of rejection warring with the small part of me that still held onto the hope she might feel the same way about me but was too scared to confess.

I really needed to see a therapist. I was tearing myself in half over these stupid feelings. Things were simpler back when I could just pretend not to care about what my heart wanted. Having a crush on my best friend sucked ass.

Why did she have to be so friggin' cute and sexy and... her? I hated it.

If only I could just kiss her without messing everything up.

Shining fucking Armor, I swear.

Author's Note

Phew. Crisis averted. Who saw that coming?

Anyway, I think I will return to the two weeks schedule now, even though I kinda liked getting so many comments over the past few weeks.

That concludes the Despair Arc and on we go with the Double Date looming up ahead. Surely, nothing can go wrong with that idea?