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Chapter Two

“Are you crazy!?”

Yes, the answer to that question is yes. I am absolutely crazy. At least I think so. Heh. Well you maybe wondering, “Boo, who is this Byte you were talking about last chapter?” and I would reply, “Well that is really complicated. LIKE REALLY COMPLICATED!”
Okay, so Byte is like this mechanical person who used to be a pony and sometime in the wasteland went full robot and he was a failed scientist that his experiments went too far.
Byte, though I don’t know his full story at this point in the story yet, he was a cruel scientist is what I’m getting at. He did some really bad shit. Like war crime levels of bad shit. Needless to say he was a VERY bad, uh, I was going to say Pony, but I, uh… Robot? Yeah, that feels right!
My husband Flutterstay stopped him a few times and as a result for his interference was captured and tortured by him for a hundred years. Yes, you read that right. A HUNDRED YEARS! You see, my husband was a cyberpony. He is a scientist too. He experimented on himself instead of others and made some enhancements once Project Steelpony was unlocked. But until then he wasn’t what I’d call a Hero of the Wasteland like Momma, Pippy, or that little filly ghoul. He was just trying to live his life and stay out of the way mostly. He did do some cool shit though don’t get me wrong. But it was the time that Byte kept him locked up and the experiments he performed on him that caught my attention.
At the time I wasn’t an all powerful Draconequus yet. I was just a VERY lucky Earth Pony when I met my future husband for the second time.

Oh, I was supposed to tell you the tale of meeting him for the second time? HA as if!

No, I think you came here to read the how and why I brought him back. That seems more like the story you came here for.

So, I had to go see Celestia. No, not the one in the SPP Hub. No, we are years in the past here. Short of the long of it:

500 years in the future Momma was having problems with her blank body. Not like bowel problems, come on I’m not going to sit here and describe in endless words her bowel movements like certain other ponies do. It actually turns out that a certain perk was being activated after her body absorbed enough Draconequus blood. She needed to maintain her blank body over the years. What you would call Flux. Is actually Discord’s blood. That bright rainbow sludge is the blood of all Draconequus and released from our bodies causes unpredictable mutations in other lifeforms. So you gotta be really freaking careful if you encounter a bleeding Draconequus.

So, this perk you may be familiar with:
Kissed by Discord: “Do you really want to know?”
Was activated and started to change her. Which gave her the ability to time travel, so while Momma thought she was dying she was going to do another paragon thing and go back and stop the war from happening. Discord once told her that something changed in the script which started this whole mess of the Wasteland and well, she figured it out. I don’t exactly know how Blackjack figured it out, but she did and she enlisted my help to fix it. So, we came back in time and stopped the event that would create the wasteland and then this version of Discord had to have a laugh. You see, what you all would call the “SHOW CANNON” timeline did happen after we changed everything, but thanks to some fuckery by Discord, and with Momma’s new “Queen Draconequus” status, they were able to fix the timeline so that the future we came from was maintained by a separate powersource as if the events happened as they were supposed to. Hey I’m just a Princess Draconequus that's well above my paygrade to explain the how and why of the temporal bullshit and fuckery they did to keep the wasteland available and viable for travel so everything they did wouldn’t unravel.
Okay, that was more long than short I guess. But you get the idea, so we live primarily in the cannon timeline, but have jaunts back to the Wasteland timeline. Then introduce a place called the Floating Vagabond bar and things get even crazier.

Um, are you still here? Listen I KNOW this is a lot to try and suspend your disbelief to. Hell, I lived it and I’m still not certain on things and I’m an all powerful being of Chaos! I would advise like all things Chaos related you just roll with it. Like they say about Pinkie Pie, “That’s just Pinkie being Pinkie.”

Maybe I should add a time frame heading to the Chapter titles… Yeah that would probably be a great idea! Heh I’m so smart!

So anyways here it is:

Ponyville
Twilight’s Rule
(15 years after the fall of Tirek, Chrysalis, and Cozy Glow)

Simple, right? RIGHT?! Gosh all this time travel stuff is a headache.

Where was I? Oh, yes. So I have to go to the castle in canterlot where former Princess Celestia is chillin’ so she can be all Principal Celestia like for her School of Magic. Okay, well I could just you know, teleport there but I’m going to be honest with you dear reader. Sometimes to get your thoughts in order its nice to take a train. And, so I did.

The train pulled up to the station in Canterlot. What, did you really think I was going to spend time telling you about the train ride? Nope, that was for me not you. Get used to it, I’m a bit selfish.

So, I made my way up to the castle and just visited a few shops here and there cause I am a lady, and I do like to shop. I even picked up this cute red dress from Canterlot Boutiqe that I can’t wait to wear for Sweetie, um, Flutterstay. I will get him back matter of fact you already know I do at this point and this is about the journey of how I do it. But I wanted to brag about the dress cause yeah. It is adorable.

So, I approached the castle entrance and there was a rather nice looking unicorn stallion wearing the solar guard armor. He looked at me in surprise as I came trotting up to the door. “Oh, Sword Strike, its nice to see you on the beautiful day! How are you?” I asked him politely.
He smiled and looked me over, “I am doing well Miss Boo what brings you to the Castle all the way from Ponyville?”
“I need to see Celetia, is she in?” I knew she was already I could feel her magic inside the castle, but one must observe the niceties when dealing with the general population. It is considered polite from what I’ve been told.
“Yes, she is in her study, one moment and I can send a guard to…” He stated and I raised a hoof to him. “It is fine Strike, I will see myself up I need the exercise all this floating around is adding pounds to me anyways.” He put his hoof down and nodded then used his magic and opened the door. “Very well Miss Boo. You have a wonderful visit.”
I entered the door looking around then made my way up to Celetia’s tower passing the royal throne room I saw Twilight Sparkle looking slightly bored and upset at a Canterlot Noble talking long winded in front of her to which I sent a small bolt of Chaos at and turned his top hat in to a propeller beanie. Twilight’s eyes wided and she put a hoof in front of her mouth as she spotted me and and gave me a nod the amusement written in her eyes.
I mouthed to her, “You’re welcome.” and continued on my way to Celestia’s tower.

Now, I know your going, "This story is so bullshit! You know the Princesses! You're not explaining the details of events you're supposed to so we can know everything you know! What kind of writer are you Boo?!" Fair questions to ask. My answer is, "Do you want a whole chapter of exposition? Go back in time and tell you from point A to Z in order with colorful pictures and fancy words?" Well if you came here for all that stuff then I'm sorry you will be disappointed. I'm a Draconequus and we do the whole, what you humans call, ADHD thing. Oh shit… look talking to you all has me all confused…
Where was I?

Oh yeah!

Now that I have Byte…

Wait that's too far forward.

I guess you need the details otherwise why would you read this?

I approached the door to Celestia's study and a black cat sat on a table next to a vase of flowers that was shattered on the floor.
"Hello Byte." I say looking at the cat.
It's black fur seemed to absorb the afternoon light coming through the window, his yellow eyes slitted as he stared at me. The eyes narrow as the door to Celestia's study opens.
"Of course Princess I will get those documents from the library for you." The red earth pony mare bows and just as she is about to close the door turns and looks at me. "Oh, hello." She was a little surprised but smiled at me.
"What can I do for you?"
I returned the smile, "I'm here to see Celestia." I state simply.
She frowned, "I don't have any visitors on her schedule for today."
"I'm just dropping by to see an old friend." I said letting my body shift into Draconequus form and the assistant's widen. "Oh… um… go on in." She steps aside knowing that there wasn't much she could do to stop me if I wanted to make it an issue which I didn't.
Did I use an intimidation tactic?
That's not very heroic!
Eh, it gets the job done.
Besides, I'll make it up to her on her way home. There's this filly she's been simping for and tonight she will get the chance to have a conversation with her.
That's still not very heroic!
I know it will all work out in the end. Trust me!
I entered the chamber and noticed the light in here was softer than outside and Celestia sat on a pillow in the corner of the room surrounded by a pile of scrolls and books. She was so absorbed in what she was doing she didn't even notice as I sat on the pillow next to her and summoned up some tea for us.
I poured the tea and sent the cup to start booping into her horn gently.
She continued to mutter to herself about some spell work or another as the teacup continued its gentle assault on her long horn.
"Ahem." I cleared my throat politely trying to get her attention.
She continued to pour over a book.
"So this is where Twilight gets it from?" I asked sipping my tea. Celestia looked up in surprise and blushed.
"Oh Boo. I didn't know you came in. My apologies. I was researching some obscure magic." She then noticed the tea cup bumping her horn and reached out with her magic and took the cup taking a sip from it politely.
"Must be some world ending magic you're looking up there. Is there anything I can do to help?" I offer.

She looked over to a box on her desk and looked back at me. "Can you banish a talking toaster?" She pleaded with me.
I look at the box.
"Wait it's not…"
She nodded.
"How about I send it somewhere it will bother the least people?" I ask.
"That would be much appreciated."
I looked at the box and snapped my claw. The box disappeared in a bright flash.
Celestia sighs and seems to relax.
"Thank you Boo. I was getting tired of Twilight's enchanted talking toaster. It literally wanted everyone to eat toast all the time. I swear if it could, it would rule all ponykind by making us eat nothing but toasted products."

Wait, I thought you said this wasn't the story of how you saved Equestria from a toaster hellbent on taking over all of Ponykind? I hear you ask.

Uh, whoops. Yeah I suppose that story was a short one.

"That sounds boring eating the same toasted stuff everyday for every meal. Ugh I could get sick just thinking about!" I look sick. Then looks fine immediately.

Celestia laughed then set her teacup on a stool next to her with many other cups and mugs.
"So what can I do for you?" She asked diplomatically.
I looked her directly in the eye as the cat that was Byte jumped into her hooves.
"I need your cat." I said simply.
She blinked.
"My cat? What do you want with Sir Whiskers?"
She asked concerned.
I smiled, "Well Sir Whiskers is actually a robotic pony cursed to live as a cat."
Celestia looked to the car then looked to me, and back at the cat.
"You know what. Discord has told me crazier things that turned out to be true. But, my sweet little murder machine is a big bad robot?" She petted said murder machine that grabbed her hoof with his front claws and bit on it.
I looked at Sir Whiskers, I mean Byte and meow at him. He got into a sitting position and meowed back.

So, we had a conversation in Cat back and fourth line that for a time before Celestia raising an eyebrow interrupted.

"Interesting conversation?" She asked.

I frowned. "He was telling me he doesn't want to come with me as he is enjoying his life in the castle. A redeeming arc for him seems to be keeping him happy. However, I need his help. So I will have to sweeten the pot." I say to Celestia as I switch back to the cat.

I made him a simple offer.

I will send him to a dimension and place that has no deities or higher beings to plague him and he would be free to live among the native species as he sees fit.

He asked me in cat, what he had to do.

I replied to him, save Flutterstay with me.

The cat rolled around and seemed to be laughing.

If you have ever seen cat amused or pleased seeing one trying to laugh like a pony was another thing. It ended up being a snorting gasping sound. After he had finished laughing he asked me if I was serious.
I nodded.

"Oh this is ridiculous." I said then snapped my lion paw at him.

The sweet little black cat changed into a giant murder robot with red glowing eyes and it looked at its body.

"Well, this is not something I expected." He said his voice a robotic buzz but was clearly understandable.

"Well talking cat with you was getting tiring. But my offer stands. I get you away from us hated Draconequus and other meddlesome higher beings and you get a fresh start on a world that has no magic and is purely based on science. All you have to do is help me save Flutterstay."
I restated the offer in plain Equestrian.

The robot's eyes glittered and glowed as he processed the thought. "All I have to do is save him?" He considered.

"Well he has to be alive and aware when he comes back." I stated.

"I… I will help you." He said.

My eyebrows shot up. "Really?"

He nodded, "You know the whole reason I kept fighting you two was to wipe you both from existence and leave me alone. But this offer… I can't pass it up. I have learned a lot about life being a cat. Things I never considered before. Before I was focused on destroying your kind Draconequus. But a world where I don't have to suffer your magic and can be free to start again. That sounds worth it."

I stuck a claw out. "Then we have a deal?" I confirmed and to my surprise he actually shook my claw with his.

"So where do we begin?" He asked.

"I don't know yet I have to consult my Pipbuck. Flutterstay had a computer load all the details into it." I looked at the device and read the list.

The Pipbuck beeped.

QUEST UPDATED

• Obtain Byte COMPLETE
• Get him to work with you COMPLETE
• Go to Tenpony Tower in the Wasteland

"Looks like we're going home to the Wasteland next."