The Long, Dark Tunnel
Madness
Previous ChapterNext ChapterChapter Four: Madness
~BlackRoseRaven
Scrivener Blooms was getting used to life in Ponyville, and Twilight Sparkle seemed glad for it... almost too glad, Scrivy thought sometimes, but he attributed that to his paranoia and anxiety. After all, it wasn't like Ponyville was providing him with some magic cure... but it was definitely helping, and definitely a far better place for him to be than the asylum he'd been locked away in.
One thing that gnawed constantly at Scrivener's nerves, however, was the fact that the more he talked to Twilight's friends and walked around Ponyville, the more it made him wonder whether or not he was insane. After all, here were so many characters he had written about, but none of whom were the same in his stories, his delusions, as they were in this layer... and even though he continued to excuse that by arguing with himself that he was probably from a different layer of reality anyway, it did little to comfort him or convince him he really was.
So he took his medication, kept track of things, and did his best to avoid letting himself get too worked up over memories and nightmares. Twilight helped a lot with that, though, and the two had come to depend on each other more than a little. They spent most of their time together in the library, and Twilight walked with him when he had to go out and sometimes even came out to see him while he was on break at Sweet Apple Acres... not because of her promise to keep an eye on him, but because she simply wanted to.
Twilight had changed a little, too: she had gotten Rarity to cut her mane and tail shorter, giving her a more rugged look, and she was a little more outspoken, a little more direct these days. Scrivener wondered a little what was going on with her, but he hadn't said anything about it to her: partly because he wasn't sure if he approved or not himself.
“Stupid everything.” Scrivener muttered as he reared back and firmly kicked a tree, and then he winced when an apple clunked off his head, groaning in irritation as he looked over his shoulder and saw that the other apples that had fallen from the tree had landed everywhere but the baskets. Meanwhile, just across one of the dusty paths leading through the orchards of Sweet Apple Acres, Big Mac calmly bucked another tree... and the apples somehow magically fell perfectly into the baskets, the red stallion looking up and giving an amiable smile to Scrivener before he hitched the tubs of apples to his sides to carry off to storage.
“Oh. Damnation.” Scrivener grumbled, one of Luna's favorite curses... and he halted for a moment at the thought of her, looking away with a quiet sigh as a shiver ran down his spine. Luna... what am I supposed to do without you? I know it's been years, but it only feels like... like I'm just now processing that... you're not here.
“And I suppose being insane doesn't help at all.” remarked a voice so calmly, so casually, that Scrivener only sighed and nodded in agreement... then he looked sharply up, just in time to catch some tall shape striding calmly away through the trees, and Scrivener's mouth went dry before he hurriedly stumbled away from the apple tree and ran quickly after the shape.
He opened his mouth to call out, but no sound came out as he lunged through a bush... yet the figure was far ahead already, heading towards the edge of the property. All Scrivener knew was that it wasn't a pony, and he lunged after it, looking up at the sky with a wince. The sun was setting, and the world was alight with a red pall that made the swaying grasses seem like fire; soon darkness would fall, and the only thing he was sure of was that while he was still preferred the night... it was no longer his domain. Not without his warrior princess by his side...
He shivered and shook his head, tearing after the creature through the field, not knowing why it was so important... and yet every muscle, every nerve, every fiber of his body ached with a need to find this thing. It made his head boil with a feeling he hadn't felt in years, since before he had awoken, raving and lunatic, in the insane asylum to discover that everything he had ever thought was real was just maddened delusion...
No... no, it is real. It is real! Scrivener thought desperately, shivering once as he ran onwards. I'm not insane... I'm not insane... and if there really are other things out there in the world, if... if something really is there...
He shook his head hurriedly as he stumbled around a large tree and into a clearing, and he finally staggered to a halt as he looked back and forth almost desperately. Red had turned to gray-violet, a poisonous dusk settling over the world as Scrivener trembled a little, looking slowly back and forth.
An abandoned, broken-down cart piled high with debris cast ghostly shadows over the field, and the trees all around the clearing seemed to loom almost hungrily over the earth pony as he breathed slowly in and out. The sky above was bruised and bleeding dry of color, and the little light there was reflected eerily off the broken chicken-wire and metal fencing that had mostly degraded away. Some old rope lay discarded near this, making Scrivener think of snakes and worms and intestines...
Scrivener shivered and shook himself out hurriedly, breathing hard as he looked back and forth for any sign of where the creature might have gone... and then he looked up sharply as a familiar voice whispered: “Scrivener Blooms?”
Scrivener's mouth went dry and his eyes widened as a figure hesitantly, carefully emerged from around the wagon, and a tremble ran through him as the sapphire mare slowly rose her head, starry locks swaying slowly backwards as she gazed across at him tenderly. Slowly, the earth pony took a staggering step forwards, breathing harder as a smile spread over his face and his eyes brightened, and Luna smiled faintly in return as she stepped towards him, whispering: “There you are...”
Scrivener's smile widened as his eyes locked with her green-tinted irises, gazing deep into them as he hurried towards her. “Luna! Luna, I... I knew you were alive, I knew I wasn't insane... Luna!”
Scrivener all-but charged into her, and Luna laughed as she was almost knocked off her hooves, the two embracing fiercely as she pressed herself close with a bright smile. The earth pony was trembling hard, tears leaking from his eyes as he clung to her desperately, before she murmured: “I'm here, Scrivener. All for you... I love you...”
“I...” Scrivener's breath caught in his throat, even as he continued to hold her tightly... but as his body stiffened slightly, he felt it. Her skin, so familiar to him, had a texture he didn't recognize... her eyes were greener than he remembered, her features prettier... but most of all...
He shoved himself backwards and away from her, and Luna stumbled in surprise, looking hurt as the two stared at each other... before slowly, a snarl spread over Scrivener's features as he rasped: “You're not Luna...”
“I could be.” whispered the creature, and then its eyes flashed, turning a brighter green as pupils expanded into dark slits, the pony-shaped entity giving a sultry smile as it leaned towards him and said kindly: “Come on, Scrivener Blooms. I can give you back your lost love. And nothing is sweeter than love renewed... we can both get what we want. You can have your princess back, and I get to infiltrate Canterlot for my queen... and I'll be her for you, Scrivener. I'll be her in every way... and better. I can do all the things for you she never would... I can make my body as beautiful as you want, as different as you want. And I can be your Luna, and cradle you and comfort you and love you just like you desire...”
Scrivener was only staring, his breathing growing harsher as his heart thudded in his chest. The sound of it was drowning out almost everything else as his mind twisted and emotions sent spikes through his heart and brain, the earth pony trembling before he whispered again: “You're not Luna.”
“I'm the closest thing you'll ever have to getting her back.” the creature replied, and then, as it stepped forwards, its body glowed before shedding the shape of Luna, revealing the chitinous Changeling beneath the glammer. It grinned at him, insectile wings buzzing once at its side as its tall and twisted horn gave a sickening green glow, long, strong, and holey limbs striding easily over the ground as it walked towards him, flicking its ragged blue mane as its eyes continued to look coldly down into his. “You should feel honored, pony. I'm of the royal family, very close to the Queen herself. Here I am, offering to do things peacefully with you, since among the delicious love there's so much bitter and powerful hatred for your own kind... but if you insist, we can do this the hard way.”
She leaned down, her eyes and horn glowing as she locked gazes with Scrivener, and the charcoal earth pony gasped and twitched, his own eyes beginning to glow as he felt alien thoughts intrude through his mind. Claws shredded his thoughts and seized his writhing emotions, and Scrivener yelled as he shook himself back and forth before the Changeling whispered: “Give in, earth pony. I'm trying to give you what you desire, after all... and you'll love me more than you ever loved precious little Princess Luna...”
Scrivener snarled as something in his mind cracked, and then he howled like an animal, startling the Changeling as he felt her mental grip loosen slightly before he dove forwards and tackled her onto her back. The two growled like beasts, rolling together before the Changeling bared her fangs and bit savagely into Scrivener's shoulder, and the earth pony howled before smashing a hoof into her face. It knocked her backwards with a hiss even as she wrenched her fangs through Scrivener's flesh, leaving a deep, ugly wound as she leapt away and the earth pony howled and clutched at the bloody injury.
She was on her hooves in moments, leaning forwards as Scrivener scrambled up a moment later, only to take a blast of green energy to the face that scalded his cheek and made his eye water... but he only glared in fury as he lunged towards her, and the Changeling's eyes widened before she leapt backwards, flapping her wings to take to the air.
Scrivener leapt upwards and clawed at her almost wildly with his front hooves, and the Changeling snarled in contempt as she easily weaved backwards to avoid him before diving straight down and crashing into Scrivener's head and shoulders, driving him to the ground. She leapt off him and then growled in frustration, her eyes glowing as she hissed: “Don't make me rip your mind ap-”
Her mental claws ripped through Scrivener's mind, but just as she began to seize into his thoughts, hoping to take control, Scrivener's emotions tore up in a flurry as he arched his back with another bestial howl... and this time, it was accompanied by an onslaught of terrible images, the Changeling gasping, then shrieking in surprise as she saw some monstrous, terrible entity lunging at her, hurriedly yanking herself free of the mental link.
She stumbled in shock, and Scrivener charged forwards, almost foaming at the jaws as he tackled her again and shoved her down to the ground. The Changeling hissed, then screamed when Scrivener's hoof smashed down again and again into her face, strength backed by madness and emotion and indescribable fury as dark blood splattered up from the creature.
She slammed her front legs up against him as she shrieked and spasmed beneath him, and Scrivener cursed as he rocked back and forth before half-falling to the side as she finally managed to shove him off. The Changeling snarled in rage, almost sinuous as she pounced immediately on Scrivener and snapped her jaws at him, the earth pony dodging the first bite before he brought a foreleg up when her fangs descended towards his face again.
Her teeth ripped into his foreleg, making him howl in pain as he sprawled backwards, a hoof hitting against the side of the decrepit wagon. The Changeling bore down hard, snarling and crushing his foreleg in her jaws, her eyes glowing with her rage as Scrivener simply fought to push back against her as her hooves pinned him. Her eyes glared down into his, and the earth pony turned his gaze away with another cry of pain as he felt his bones beginning to fracture, rear legs kicking uselessly at the air before his eyes locked on a nearby rock, and he stretched desperately for this...
The Changeling slammed her hooves down against him, forcing him to half-roll onto his back even as Scrivener made a wild swipe for the stone... and the moment he felt his hoof cup it, he brought it swinging up and smashing into the side of the Changeling's face, making her squeal as her teeth rattled free from where they were buried in Scrivener's limb before he slammed the rock into her temple again, and this time knocked her sprawling.
She looked dazed as she slowly began to crawl her way up to her hooves... and then Scrivener hammered the rock into her head again and knocked her flat, her skull cracked and bleeding, drool spilling from her bloody jaws as the charcoal stallion tossed the stone away. His breath rasped in and out as his eyes almost glowed it fury, bleeding heavily from the deep wounds in his leg and shoulder and yet barely feeling them as his head twitched violently once and his eyes locked on the Changeling.
He snarled down at her, grinding his teeth together as his eyes glowed with fury at what the Changeling had dared to do... pretend it was Luna, make him forget Luna, make him love her like Luna... Luna, Luna, Luna Luna Luna Luna...
Scrivener stepped forwards, raising the rock... and then he trembled once before throwing it aside as he grasped at his face, turning his head aside, feeling his emotions writhing wildly inside him as memories, images, and delusions screamed their way through his tortured brain before he grinned widely as his eyes locked on the rope, feeling a twitch run through him as his conscience fell and his darkness rose. He turned to quickly pick up the dirty but still-strong coils, hurriedly twisting it into an all-too-familiar shape as the Changeling rasped weakly on the ground before beginning to stir.
As it began to finally raise its head, some semblance of sense starting to return to the battered Changeling's features, something flicked over its head and then pulled taut around its neck. The Changeling gargled in surprise, eyes bulging in shock before Scrivener threw the other end of the rope up over the thick bough of a tree, seizing the loose end with a snarl as he began to haul upwards hoof-over-hoof, breathing hard as the Changeling tried to scream... but the tight noose cinched around its throat cut its cry down to a strangled wheeze as it was hefted into the air, hooves clawing against the ground for a moment before it was yanked off the ground.
Scrivener snarled up at it, features twisting into a grin as his eyes blazed with fury, frustration, and misery, watching as the Changeling was hauled higher and higher as it tried to flap its wings, to get its hooves under it, to suck down a single breath. But it was already suspended with its rear hooves a few feet off the ground, body unable to get the lift it needed as its wings flapped uselessly while it convulsed in the air.
Scrivener yanked the rope to the side, tying it off against one jagged wooden arm of the wagon to keep the Changeling aloft as he leaned forwards and yelled at it furiously: “Do you really think you have anything you can offer me? That you vampires have any notion of what love really is, apart from what you pathetic, drudging scum sustain yourselves with? Blasted and worthless monster! Let me tell you about love!”
The earth pony was barely aware of what he was doing as he stormed over to the broken fencing, mind sparking, eyes wild as he seized a loose metal post and began to yank on it, shouting at the same time in a furious voice that tore through the unearthly dusk: “How now is it that I taste still her kisses on these dead lips, and there she lay looking so alluring even in her bed of dust and ash...”
Scrivener ripped the post free, then he turned around just as the choking Changeling managed to make itself hover, started to ascend... before, with a sick, painful splat, Scrivener slammed the metal fencepost into its belly, and the Changeling shrieked and spasmed before the cry of pain was cut off into gargling as it fell limp again and dangled from the noose. And again and again, the fencepost slammed into the broken body of the bug-like creature, hammering into its form, crashing against its limbs as its blood splattered over Scrivener's features as he howled loudly over the sounds of its torment: “Oh how I long for her and love her! Sweet soulmate, I still see you in that pallid body, so perfect now and flawless and unchanging in your death... oh beloved, you lay there so coyly, as if you await me to crawl into your eternal embrace, to join you in the comforts of your coffin, waiting to make sacred again our love!”
The metal post descended again, again, again, clubbing, crushing, smashing, and the Changeling could only gargle as all sense left its rolling eyes, as it twitched only weakly with every impact as foam and blood dripped from its jaws, swaying limply as Scrivener shouted as tears rolled down his cheeks and mixed with the blood and sweat on his face: “How I long for and adore you, my eternal companion, and nothing shall ever take you from me... your spirit has left your body, but I shall cradle it in my embrace, smell your hair, taste your cold-lipped kisses, until I too decay with you... and for forevermore we'll be together, my beloved, closer in death than we were alive, and... and... and...”
The post slammed into the Changeling's body, and Scrivener breathed hard, leaning forwards, both front hooves gripping it tightly as he dropped his head forwards, tears streaming down his muzzle. He rasped in and out, a wave of nausea and dizziness passing through him as he felt something come undone in his mind before he slowly looked up, trembling, shivering, staring up into the dead eyes of the broken Changeling... and then he finally let his hooves drop from the post, leaving it imbedded in the crushed-in chest of the creature as he stumbled backwards and whispered: “And we'll be happy for all eternity, leaving behind mortal woe and serpentine sins in our rotten mortal forms. Oh... oh Luna...”
Scrivener stumbled backwards again and sat back on his haunches, and then he slowly looked over his shoulder as he realized he wasn't alone. Behind him, Applejack, Rainbow Dash, Big Mac and a few other ponies that were blurry in his vision were all staring with horror at what he'd done, and slowly, Scrivener licked his lips, tasting drying blood as he rasped in and out of his parched throat before whispering: “She... I... she upset me...”
“Oh g-g-god...” Applejack moaned weakly, shivering violently and shaking her head wildly, and as Scrivener slowly began to stand up, she stumbled backwards as Rainbow only stared and trembled violently, and Big Mac stepped forwards, gritting his teeth... but he looked almost as scared as the others. Scrivener studied them for a moment, feeling hurt and yet detached from everything before a pony shoved past the others and ran towards him.
Twilight skidded to a stop in front of him, and Scrivener studied her for a moment as he looked back at her: she was breathing hard enough to stretch the material of the simple vest she was wearing, trembling beneath her trimmed locks before she almost whispered: “Oh Horses of Heaven... I... somepony, please! Get a doctor! Why isn't anypony helping him?”
“Twi... Twilight... get away from him, he's... he's dangerous...” whispered a voice from the crowd, but Scrivener didn't recognize who it was as he looked slowly back and forth. Twilight glared over her shoulder at the speaker, tears filling her eyes before she returned her gaze to Scrivener, her horn glowing, and the stallion groaned quietly as he felt her trying to heal his wounds.
He trembled, bowing his head forwards, closing his eyes as he felt pieces of his sanity falling away, heard laughter and screaming and panicking, heard questions being asked by countless voices. He did his best to respond to the last... but it was only after he finally opened his eyes that he realized he hadn't been talking to anyone... and that somehow, he'd gone from the apple orchard, to sitting in a jail cell.
He leaned forwards a bit, reaching up to touch his shoulder, and he glanced to the side in surprise: it was bandaged, but... he had no memory of anything. Just... Twilight, closing his eyes, and then all the voices and... and... I... don't know what happened...
Scrivener rocked slowly back and forth in the cell, breathing harder as anxiety ripped through his mind. They were out there, judging him... no, no, they weren't in the process of that. They had already done that, and had locked him up. Here, alone in this cell, as he looked back and forth at bleak stone, felt like the walls were closing in around him as he shivered hard and then hugged himself, lungs aching and heart thudding. He was alone, they were abandoning him, shipping him back to the facility, he'd be alone forever, he'd killed the monster but oh no, oh no, they knew that the real monster was him and they had to lock him up, up, up...
Stop it! he shouted desperately in his own mind, some lucid part of him struggling through the fog of madness before he gritted his teeth and slammed a hoof up into his own wounded shoulder. The agony it sent through him was indescribable, his entire body stiffening up as he whimpered faintly... but it also drove away everything except for the pain.
Scrivener concentrated on the agony, feeling it out, using it to judge how hurt he was before it began to fade slowly from a blaring siren to a slow pulse. He shivered a bit, and then settled himself little-by-little as he made his mind focus on what his body was telling him now: how as the major pain faded, he felt the outline, the edges of the wound rubbing against the bandages, he felt the sore and torn muscles, the numbness in his foreleg, the shivers in his body...
Then he twitched and looked up as there was a loud bang to stare out and see a police officer sitting outside his cell, frowning in at him. But beside him was Twilight Sparkle, and the charcoal stallion gave a weak smile to the violet unicorn, bowing his head towards her as he whispered: “Sorry, Twilight. I guess... this might get you in trouble, huh?”
“Oh thank Celestia... Scrivener, I'm... I...” Twilight trembled a bit, then she smiled weakly and glanced at the sheriff, murmuring: “See? I told you so. He just... needed to calm down and... I'm going to take him now.”
“I... alright.” The police pony sighed after a moment, nodding hesitantly before he pulled a key off his belt, then reached up and slipped it into the lock. He pushed the door open after a moment, and Scrivener carefully stood up before grimacing and flinching at the pain that went through him from his shoulder and bandaged foreleg, the officer saying quietly: “You stay out of trouble now, hear?”
“Yeah. I'll try my best.” Scrivener mumbled halfheartedly, and the officer looked at him for a few moments before he shook his head and turned to leave as Scrivener carefully dragged himself forwards.
He glanced up at Twilight, and the two looked at each other before she trembled for a second, then stepped forwards and hugged him fiercely. He returned the embrace after almost a full minute had passed with his good leg, breathing hard before she finally murmured: “Come on, Scrivy. Let's take you home. You... you stupid, stupid idiot...”
“That's me.” Scrivener murmured softly, and Twilight sighed a little before she hesitantly drew back, and the two studied each other for a few moments before the violet unicorn finally turned to lead him out of the building and back home.
It was late... by Scrivener's estimate, three in the morning. Still, there were a few ponies up that stared at him from their windows as he passed... not something that helped his paranoia, as he tried to keep his head down and plodded after Twilight in silence. When they reached the library, he was unsurprised to find the lights burning inside but no sign that Spike was here. Twilight had likely sent the baby dragon off somewhere...
And then the violet mare rounded on him the moment the door closed, and she whispered: “Scrivener, what the hell were you thinking? You... Applejack told me what you did to that Changeling. Said you were screaming about something as you... you beat it to death...”
Scrivener closed his eyes, bowing his head forwards and only shrugging slowly in response... before he opened them in surprise when Twilight's hooves touched his shoulders, the mare leaning in close and whispering softly: “No. No, don't shut me out, Scrivy. Please... I... I was so scared for you. You frightened a lot of ponies, Scrivy... you... you killed it in front of them, without even listening to anyone...”
“I... I didn't hear them. I didn't even see them until... afterwards.” Scrivener murmured in surprise, glancing up as a shiver rolled down his spine. “The Changeling it... Twilight, it became Luna, it tried to make me... desecrate her memory, it... taunted me and I got... I got mad...”
“You got mad... Scrivener... that's not going to cut it.” Twilight said in a harsher voice than she intended, even as her eyes stared at him with worry and unshed tears. “Scrivy, what do you think is going to happen when they ask you about this in Canterlot, because they undoubtedly are going to bring this up at your appointment in a few days, and you're only able to tell them that 'you got mad?'”
“I don't know.” Scrivener clenched his eyed shut, dropping his head forwards before he laughed weakly. “No, I... I do know. They're going to lock me up again. Say that I'm a danger to society or something, even though... I was just defending myself from the Changeling...”
“That didn't look like self-defense, Scrivener. That looked like butchery.” Twilight said quietly, and Scrivener opened his eyes and glared at her, but she only looked silently back at him, reaching up and touching his face with a hoof as she whispered: “Scrivener, I... I never imagined you were capable of that, that's all. I'm trying to wrap my head around things and I... I don't... I don't want them to take you away from me...”
Scrivener quieted at this, the two looking at each other silently before he reached up and slowly ran his hoof through her short, almost spiked-back mane, asking quietly: “Why did you do this?”
Twilight smiled faintly, then she reached up and took his front hoof gently in both of his before quietly kissing it as an answer to his question, and Scrivener closed his eyes, bowing his head forwards with a slow nod. For a few moments, they were silent, and then Scrivener sighed softly as he murmured quietly: “I'm sorry that I'm... I'm not who you thought I was.”
“No...” Twilight looked up into his eyes quietly, and when Scrivener gazed back at her silently, she reached one hoof up to slowly stroke over the scarred side of his face. “You're not. But Scrivener... you're also not... not, if you know what I mean. You're you... and I'm me... and... and I...”
She leaned in a little closer, and Scrivener breathed a bit harder before her hoof slipped slowly down, resting on his shoulder... and then he winced and cursed in pain as she pressed a bit too hard on the bandaging, and Twilight blushed deeply, sitting hurriedly back as she shook her head and murmured awkwardly: “Sorry, Scrivy. I... look, you need to rest. Come on, let's get you in bed.”
“I...” Scrivener was quiet for a moment, and when Twilight looked up at him, he hesitated before asking quietly: “Will you... stay up with me for a little while, instead? I just... I could use the company. Just for a little while.”
Twilight smiled faintly at this, nodding slowly to him, and Scrivener gave a small smile in return after a moment as he felt a flutter run through his mind before he whispered softly: “Thank you.”
A few days later, Scrivener sat awkwardly in a doctor's office in Canterlot, leaning back in a plush armchair as his psychiatrist silently read over some paperwork. The office was not at all like Dr. Duck's: it was wide, with only a few sparse shelves and massive picture windows that opened on a pretty garden where the patients weren't allowed to visit. Scrivener always wondered what the point of having courtyards and gardens for institutes like these was... they just seemed like extra work for the caretakers, after all, since he didn't think even the staff were allowed to sit outside there.
Finally, the doctor looked irritably up, adjusting his glasses before he stated moodily: “So you killed someone.”
“I... I killed a Changeling that attacked me, Dr. Sanus.” Scrivener replied defensively, wincing and rubbing slowly at his still bandaged shoulder. His foreleg was wrapped in a cloth cast as well, although he could at least hobble around on it. “Furthermore, it was pretending to be Luna. It goaded me on and I... snapped.”
Sanus looked at him moodily, and Scrivener looked awkwardly back, knowing better than to taunt him: Sanus was the one who would decide whether or not Scrivener would be sent back to Ponyville or dragged back into the asylum, after all. It was sometimes better not to bite the hoof that fed you. “You snapped?”
“I snapped.” Scrivener repeated lamely, and there was silence as Sanus' eyes bore into his, the unicorn almost glaring at him before the charcoal stallion added finally: “I... I was provoked. First something led me off there and then the Changeling came out in Luna's shape and then it... attacked me and...”
Sanus sighed tiredly, and then he nodded slowly before looking down at the papers, muttering: “I've spent all morning reading over witness accounts of what you did. You were apparently reciting poetry while beating it to death with a wooden signpost.”
“Metal... metal fencepost. I would have broken it if it was wood.” Scrivener mumbled, and Sanus slowly reached up to rub a hoof against his face as if he had a headache. “You know, eyewitness accounts are notoriously inaccurate.”
The doctor glared at him across the desk, and Scrivener glanced awkwardly away before Sanus shook his head and sighed tiredly. “Were you aware of the attack?”
Scrivener looked down, then he nodded a little, knowing there was no point in lying. “Until afterwards. I... I had a blackout, where I was trying to talk to people who weren't there, but... I think it was the loss of blood and everything that really sent me over the edge. When I came around after being treated I... I was a lot better.”
“A lot better.” Sanus said moodily, and Scrivener shrugged lamely before the unicorn sighed and closed the file. “You need to be reevaluated. I'm scheduling you for a battery of testing tomorrow.”
Scrivener winced and looked up worriedly, and Sanus rubbed slowly at his face with a hoof before he asked almost abruptly: “Before this. How was life in Ponyville?”
“I... good. Twilight and I get along well and I trust her, and I was talking to other ponies. I helped out with the harvest at Sweet Apple Acres, I socialized a bit, and... it was good.” Scrivener halted, then he leaned forwards and said weakly: “Come on. I don't want to go back into the asylum, not over one mistake, not because it was kill or be killed...”
“From a purely psychological standpoint, Scrivener Blooms, it's not the fact that you killed it that concerns me.” Sanus interrupted, looking meditatively across at Scrivy. “It's the fact that you bludgeoned it to death after subduing it, while screaming poetry, no less. Do you understand how those are worrying signs? Especially since I have no doubt this is somehow connected to your delusions even more than it is... anything else that's going on inside your head.”
Scrivener remained silent as the two looked at each other, and then Sanus sighed and said slowly: “But to be frank... I don't want to see you back in this facility. I know that... Twilight Sparkle has some personal interest in you, but she corroborated many of her reports and letters with witness accounts that can be easily verified. And two of the witnesses were terrified of what you did but stood up for you. Tell me, have you resumed contact with any of them?”
Scrivener looked down silently, rubbing at his neck slowly as he murmured: “Applejack was terrified of me and... she's still scared after she saw what I did. Only... Rainbow Dash is talking to me right now, apart from Twilight... well, Spike is, too, but he's a little afraid of me. They're all... a little afraid of me.”
“That's understandable.” Sanus said quietly, and Scrivener smiled faintly in agreement, glancing up before the doctor hesitated, then said softly: “Look at me and be honest. Is Ponyville helping you?”
“Yes, even when...” Scrivener closed his eyes. “Even when it hurts. It makes me question myself... but it also makes me... realize there's...”
The charcoal stallion trembled for a moment, then he looked up and whispered as his eyes met the doctor's: “There's still reasons for me to go on, hard as it is to think about... being stuck in a world without Luna. Hard as it is to... consider, even for a moment... that my 'delusions' as you call them... really are just that, delusions. A shell I forced myself to believe in so that... I would be safe from reality, and the world, and I could just live out all these adventures and fantasies in my own mind...”
“Until you woke up, because the story came to an end and you couldn't make it go on any longer. Because I think, subconsciously, you wanted those stories to end... you wanted to come out of your shell, because even if you honestly don't believe that you deserve to continue to live, Scrivener Blooms... you know that Luna would want you to move on with your life. To find happiness. To fight.” Sanus said softly, and Scrivener bowed his head. “Your writing contains many very clear metaphors and veiled allusions to reality, and one that I believe wholeheartedly is that Luna was a fighter, and cared very deeply for you. That she wanted you to be happy. And you know that, don't you?”
Scrivener only nodded silently, reaching up to rub at his face and not trusting himself to speak, and for a few moments there was silence before Sanus sat back and said quietly: “I still want you evaluated tomorrow, but... I can pull some strings and you can stay somewhere in Canterlot for the night, or go back to Ponyville. And if you pass the evaluation, and I don't feel you just lied to get your way, Scrivener... I'll put in a good word for you. Believe it or not, I do want to see you healthy and out of here... if only because I really don't want to go back to dealing with you anymore.”
The charcoal stallion laughed a bit at this, and Sanus studied him as the earth pony slowly composed himself, before the unicorn doctor asked calmly: “Are you in a sexual relationship with Twilight Sparkle?”
Scrivener snorted at this, muttering: “Yeah, beating that Changeling to death while screaming 'Le Petite Mort' really helped seal the deal.”
“So you do want to pursue a relationship with her. Interesting.” Sanus commented, and Scrivener looked irritably up at the psychiatrist before he simply shrugged. “It could be relevant to why you had a break, Scrivener, and you do know that tomorrow the doctors will question you on the subject.”
“I know. I just wish that you shrinks didn't think that your whole... psychological bull gave you a free ticket to ask anything you like about your patients' lives.” Scrivener muttered moodily, and Sanus gave the earth pony a wry look. “I dislike the fact that I'm not allowed to keep my personal life personal.”
Sanus sighed and shook his head slowly, then he said moodily: “Then lie to them, Scrivener Blooms, as you seem so willing and happy to lie to me and every other doctor you come into contact with.”
Scrivener looked dumbly up at this, beginning to open his mouth, and the unicorn psychologist held up a hoof, shaking his head slowly. “Like I said, I don't want you here. It's not doing anything but wasting my time and you've shown a dramatic improvement since you've been out of the institution. My focus is that you're honest with the doctors about the events surrounding the break, but if you can tell me that Twilight Sparkle has nothing to do with those events... then go ahead and lie, cheat, and do whatever you want to avoid talking about it. My emphasis is on finding the root of these delusions, and if anything, your personal business with Twilight seems to be helping, not hindering the situation. I have no desire to tamper with that.”
The charcoal stallion nodded a little after a moment, and then Sanus glanced at the clock on the wall before he sighed and leaned over to the intercom, pressing a button on it and saying calmly: “I need to schedule a full evaluation, early afternoon, for an outpatient. Preferably around one in the afternoon.”
Scrivener smiled a bit as there was a shuffling of papers, and then a voice spoke up from the intercom: “I can schedule it for... one fifteen, in conference room A?”
“Good.” Sanus nodded as he glanced back towards Scrivener, tenting his hooves as he looked meditatively across at the charcoal pony. “Now, if you have no other concerns, Scrivener Blooms, I want to speak to Twilight Sparkle alone for a moment. Please send her in on your way out.”
Scrivener winced at this, but then he grunted and nodded, slipping out of his seat as he headed to the door. He hesitated for a moment as he reached for the handle, then turned around and asked finally: “What am... what are you supposed to do when you fall in love... and you're scared that... you're going to spend every day thinking about and comparing her to... the love you already lost?”
Sanus looked at him for a few moments, and then he slowly leaned towards Scrivener Blooms, asking in a surprised voice: “Are you... honestly asking my advice?”
“I... no. Nevermind.” Scrivener muttered, and then he turned and shoved through the door, glancing around the waiting room before he smiled wryly as Twilight stood up, giving him an anxious look. “He wants to talk to you.”
Twilight nodded hesitantly after a moment, and then she smiled a little before shaking herself out and taking a slow breath. Scrivener drew his eyes over her as she strode forwards, and then he smiled a little as she stepped past, letting their sides brush together as she said softly: “I'll be quick, then.”
Scrivener nodded as he headed over to sit down in a chair, pointedly ignoring the other patients before one of them looked slowly over at the earth pony, hiccuped, and asked curiously: “Is that you, Lockwood?”
“Sorry, I'm not Lockwood.” Scrivener said gently, then he turned his gaze downward, trying his best to ignore the mare as he nervously counted the seconds waiting for Twilight, as anxiety fluttered a bit through his chest and mind.
But the violet unicorn was gone less than a minute before she opened the door and smiled over at Scrivener, gesturing to him, and the stallion gladly hopped up to his hooves to fall into pace beside her as she said softly: “He just wanted to see how honest you were being and... I said you were. Because... you are, right?”
She gave him a pointed look as they left the waiting room and headed down the hall, and Scrivener Blooms grunted and nodded after a moment. “Yeah, I am. You know I am... I mean...” He shook his head a bit. “Things still feel... rough around the edges but...”
He fell quiet, and Twilight smiled a little before she leaned over and nudged him gently with her shoulder. “I know, but... we're gonna get through this. So are we going to head back to Ponyville, then? He mentioned you have to take a test tomorrow...”
“Evaluation, Twilight Sparkle, not a test like you oh so love to do.” Scrivener said mildly, and when Twilight favored him with an irritated look, he only smiled before saying softly: “Don't take this the dirty way, but let's get a room at a hotel.”
“You wish I'd take that the dirty way.” Twilight muttered, but then she nodded in agreement. “But you're paying then, since... you know. You have the money.”
“Yeah. I'll get us the nicest rooms in the hotel.” Scrivener said softly, and Twilight blushed and looked awkwardly away, Scrivener glancing at her curiously.
She remained awkward and quiet until they were out of the building, however, and then she said finally, as they stepped out onto the streets of Canterlot: “Just get one room, Scrivy. I know how... stingy you are and... we can share.”
She smiled embarrassedly over at him, and Scrivener smiled a little in return before he nodded slowly, then they both glanced down. They walked along in quiet, their bodies naturally drawing a little closer to each other's as they strode onwards until something caught Scrivener's eye, and he paused in front of a store they were passing to peer through the window.
Twilight cocked her head curiously, glancing up and muttering: “'Ravish's Specialty Boutique...' I think Rarity might kill us if we go in here, Scrivy. She doesn't even like it when I wear my old clothes, much less anything I didn't buy from her shop.”
“I hate to be the one to tell you this, but I think she doesn't like your clothes for a different reason than that you didn't buy them from her, Twilight.” Scrivener remarked wryly, and Twilight gave him a sour look as the stallion pushed into the boutique, then she rolled her eyes and followed.
The smell of polish and leather hit her nose, and she blinked in surprise before looking back and forth and realizing what the word 'specialty' meant in this instance, staring at the leather, the hide, the latex, the... other... garments. She blushed a bit as Scrivener headed up to the counter, suddenly almost bold, while she wanted to make herself small and just hide behind Scrivy.
The bright-red-coated mare behind the counter looked up, rubbing absently at one of several silver piercings along her features before Scrivener asked curiously: “That collar in the window, the one with the ornamental clasp... do you have others like it?”
Slowly, the mare looked up and down him, then leaned past and studied Twilight... before she grinned widely, leaning back as she reached up to brush back her short, dyed mane. “Funny, you're the one who looks like he enjoys being roughed up, not her.”
Scrivener looked at the clerk flatly as Twilight turned scarlet, and then the pierced mare laughed and leaned forwards, shaking her head amusedly. “Okay, okay, settle down, just a joke. Yeah, I got a whole bunch of different collars, but maybe you want to go down the street to buy from one of those more respectable shops.”
“Are you saying they make a better product than you do?” Scrivener asked mildly, tilting his head curiously. “Pretty odd sales pitch.”
“Hey now, let's not make this personal.” The clerk lost some of her grin, looking at him moodily, and then she grunted and held up a hoof. “I got it. Here.”
She ducked low for a moment behind the counter, rummaging loudly through things before she sat up and dropped a wooden box on the table. She pulled this open a moment later, and both Twilight and Scrivener leaned forwards to study the collar that was revealed. “Full grain, high quality leather, midnight black, hoof stitched. The clasp is silver and we can etch it with your name, if you want. Next day pickup.”
She looked at him almost challengingly, and Scrivener smiled as he reached out to touch it gently: thick black leather, high quality, smooth to the touch, and the clasp was large and perfectly-shaped. He whistled a bit, then glanced over his shoulder at Twilight, asking quietly: “What do you want it engraved with?”
Twilight only smiled at him, blushing deeply as she bowed her head towards him, and the mare behind the counter looked surprised before she said mildly: “Well... okay, I'm not going to turn down good money. You want me to etch her name?”
Scrivener smiled after a moment, then he shifted a bit, saying quietly: “Etch a rose, like my em... my cutie mark. How about that, Twilight?”
“I... like...” Twilight flushed deeply, and the mare behind the counter cocked her head before the violet mare whispered: “I'd like that a lot.”
“And folks say I'm weird. Still, gotten worse orders.” The mare shrugged after a moment, nodding thoughtfully. “Fine. I'll get to work, but I need a down payment on the collar first. Etching you can pay for after it's done.”
“Do you have my money?” Scrivener glanced curiously over at Twilight, and she nodded quickly, glancing back at the satchel hanging from her side as her horn glowed. And five minutes later, they were leaving the store and Twilight was smiling warmly over at him, Scrivener looking embarrassedly over at her before he said finally: “You're weird.”
“No weirder than you. Besides, I... I know what it means to you and... what it means to me and... I mean... just. Thank you.” Twilight said finally, then she blushed a bit and mumbled: “But I don't think I'll ever admit where it came from.”
Scrivener grunted as they continued down the street until they reached a hotel: it was large, classy, and everyone going in and out was wearing expensive-looking clothing or adornments, while the most they had between them was Twilight's satchel and the plain black vest she had on. She looked nervously at the front of the building, while Scrivener looked meditative... and then he finally shrugged and said mildly: “Come on, then. Let's enjoy throwing my money around a little.”
Twilight smiled despite herself, nodding firmly once and following Scrivener towards the doors. At first, the uniformed staff all stared with something like horror at the two as they approached... but after Scrivener asked curiously what the best room they had available was, they became more suspicious than outright hostile.
The luxury suite they got for the night was plush, comfortable, and had a single massive bed. Scrivener enjoyed poking at things around the room while Twilight settled in a bit, smiling as she gazed out the window and at the sight of the buildings and in the distance, Canterlot Castle.
Scrivener joined her side, and as the two sat quietly together, gazing out at the beautiful city, the stallion gently took her front hoof in one of his own. Twilight blushed a little as she bowed her head forwards, eyes flicking towards Scrivy as he smiled a bit despite the flutter of nervousness that ran through him... but right now, his mind was on something else. Something he needed to do, he thought, before he would finally feel... alright about the way things were going. “Twilight... I... I think I'm going to go visit Luna's grave.”
Twilight looked at him with surprise, as Scrivener gazed across at her quietly, and then he looked back out the window, asking quietly: “It's out by the castle, right? Somewhere... did... did I go to her funeral?”
“You were... you were in the mental institution by then and... they were too worried you were dangerous.” Twilight said quietly, and Scrivener drew his eyes to her, as they studied each other. She smiled faintly after a moment, bowing her head. “It wasn't your fault.”
“It probably was.” Scrivener laughed a little, and then he looked back out the window, saying finally: “Whether... I'm delusional or not... I feel that I have to visit her grave. It... it scares me a lot. It scares me a lot a lot, as a matter of fact... but I have to do this. For Luna... for myself... for you.”
He glanced at her quietly, and then he hesitated before reaching up to touch her face gently, saying softly: “And Twilight... if... if I'm right about who I am-”
“No. I don't want to think about that.” Twilight closed her eyes, bowing her head against his hoof before she smiled a little, then she glanced up and asked softly: “Do... do you want me to stay here?”
“No, what I want right now is to hide here under the bed and pretend that I don't have that evaluation tomorrow and the world is made of candy...” Scrivener sighed after a moment, as Twilight gave him a dry look. “But... I know. I know I have to do this on my own, and... I appreciate you understanding.”
“It's okay, Scrivener. You're... you're braver than I am.” Twilight halted, then she looked down and said softly: “Maybe this will help settle things for you, though, and... and in more than one way.”
“Yeah. Maybe.” Scrivener smiled a little after a moment, and the two looked at each other in soft silence before the charcoal stallion reached up and gently grasped her shoulders, then he leaned forwards and kissed her forehead quietly. “Thank you, Twilight Sparkle. For everything. I can't describe how... how lucky you make me feel. You deserve better than me.”
“Maybe, but... I kind of like knowing that I'll always be the better half.” Twilight smiled a little after a moment, looking up into his eyes softly before she touched his chest gently. “Do you want me to walk with you through Canterlot?”
“No, no.” Scrivener shook his head and returned his gaze out the window, saying softly: “I'm not... afraid of the city in the evening. I'm a bit scary for most muggers to risk hitting, especially when I'm not carrying anything. And I think I should do this alone, anyway... just have to hope that no one from the mental institution sees me running around on my own.”
Twilight sighed a little, then she nodded slowly and glanced out the window, saying softly: “Alright Scrivy. Then come on, I need your help with something anyway. I brought this journal to decipher...”
Scrivener grumbled under his breath at the fact that Twilight had actually brought work along on the trip... but all the same, it at least kept him occupied and helped pass the time until dusk began to settle in, and Scrivener felt his anxiety growing even as his determination to do this – and on his own – remained strong.
Twilight was clearly worried... but when Scrivener caught her expression sometimes, he didn't think it was his paranoia or anxieties that made it seem like she was worried about something apart from the fact that he would be walking through Canterlot alone. It made him wonder, but he didn't ask since she didn't seem to want to talk about it at all.
And as Scrivener had been leaving, literally as he'd been opening the door after goodbyes, and a perhaps too-long-held hug... she whispered quietly: “Come back.”
Scrivy glanced over his shoulder at her as Twilight simply sat in the middle of the room, offering him a faint, supportive smile, but her eyes still had that concern in them. That worry that was beginning to worry him... and he forced a smile in return before heading out the door.
It made his anxieties writhe a bit as he headed out into Canterlot... but on the bright side, at least, it stopped him from fretting over every other little thing as this remained chief in his mind. And even though he'd never been to Luna's grave... even though he'd never even really known more than the general location of where she had been buried... he still found his hooves leading him there all the same, as naturally as if it were a place he'd visited every day.
Like a coming home. whispered a voice in his head, and Scrivy grimaced in distaste at this thought, shivering and shaking his head out hurriedly as he strode down the streets. Yet all the same, his anxieties only made it easier for the cunning voice to twist itself firmer through his brain, strangeimages forming as it murmured: Maybe she's behind everything. Maybe she's Wisdom's sweet revenge. Maybe she's a monster. Maybe she just enjoys you suffering...
Scrivener gritted his teeth, bowing his head forwards with a rumble as the voice laughed quietly, mockingly, but the charcoal stallion forced it away as he mumbled: “There's no evidence of any of that and it's insane to think, anyway. Twilight is... is my friend. I trust her. I care about her...”
Or maybe you just want her because she's like a taste of home... or because you are nothing but a gluttonous, greedy animal, longing to possess every little thing you can, like a beast in the wild. You use one up, you move on to the next:how sweet, isn't it, that your 'one true love Luna' died and left you with the means to keep hopping from pretty to pretty, sucking them dry, eating them up, using them until they're all gone... the voice whispered, and Scrivener snarled as he looked ahead, forcing himself forwards as he shivered and tried to repress the terrible narrator in his mind. That's what you do, isn't it? You're a parasite... you always have been, and you always will be.
“I am not... I am not...” Scrivener whispered, shaking his head hurriedly before he cursed under his breath as he forced himself to continue forwards, then he suddenly stumbled to a halt as he realized he had somehow walked all the way through Canterlot's suburbs, the stars and moon shining above and casting a pale luminescence over the world that made it almost as clear as day to his strong eyes.
He looked slowly back and forth before his eyes locked on a hilltop in the distance, surrounded by tall iron fencing, the heavy gates standing invitingly open at the end of a long, cobblestone path. For a few moments, Scrivener gazed at this, and then he smiled faintly, glad that he wouldn't have to try and break in at least as he began slowly down the road towards the hill. Further on, Canterlot was framed by the enormous pearl of the moon... and Scrivener laughed faintly as he continued forwards, whispering: “Luna would have hated to be buried here...”
He frowned a bit, then he gritted his teeth as a bolt of pain shot through him, reaching up to touch his head as there was a flash of white, and suddenly, he saw the overlapping Lunas, heard them as her voice said: Canterlot Cemetery... that's where the monarchs are entombed, and I suppose one day Celestia and I shall be as well. But I don't really want to be... it seems so... morbid, somehow...
A crackle, and then the Lunas split apart into two distinct shapes for a moment, smiling Princess and grinning Valkyrie. Then the polite, refined Princess Luna said softly: If... anything ever does happen to me, Scrivener Blooms... please try and convince Celestia to bury me... somewhere quieter.
Well, Scrivy, when we die, I fully expect it to be in some glorious way that will leave nothing but smoldering ashes behind. Therefore I do not think it is very important that we decide a place to be buried. Let our ashes simply be scattered to the wind... A laugh, that sounded so real from this Luna everyone told him was a delusion, was him trying to make his dead wife into some kind of fairytale heroine. Just so long as Pinkamena does not eat us.
Then the silence came back, and Scrivener breathed hard as he shook his head out and looked up... then stared stupidly as he saw the open gates were now only a few feet away. He was standing at the end of the cobbled path, not on the hard, paved road, and he winced a bit before shivering once as he realized he'd just lost time with that flash of... warring memory again. “What... what is happening to me...”
Scrivener shivered for a moment, then he gritted his teeth and gazed into the cemetery beyond the gates, breathing slowly before muttering under his breath: “We call it a necropolis because really it's a metropolis, the difference being the acropolis, is not at the heart of this cosmopolis. And of course that there's more dead, laying here and there in bed, but you should still be careful where you tread, because restless may still raise their head.”
He halted, then looked down grouchily and rubbed slowly at his face with a hoof, shaking himself briskly out before he strode boldly into the cemetery beyond, muttering: “Horses of Heaven give me strength.”
A shiver ran down Scrivener's spine as his nervous pace gradually slowed into a careful, cautious walk, carefully, closely sticking to the dirt path as he looked carefully back and forth. He felt... strangely watched, like he was being judged by the countless ponies that all lay here in their eternal slumber... and the charcoal stallion couldn't help but look back and forth, searching through the darkness around him as moonlight made the tombstones and markers over the graves almost seem to glow.
He breathed slowly in and out through his mouth as he faced forwards, feeling uneasy. He couldn't even put a hoof on why: he'd fought worse things, after all, than the living dead. And he knew that these dead bodies... that was all they were, empty vessels, buried beneath solid earth that was far harder to crawl out of than all the zombie folklore made it seem like. And he thought of Twilight... his Twilight, back home, and smiled faintly as he murmured: “Come on. There's... nothing to be scared of here. This... cemeteries aren't for the dead. They're places that the living build to try and put a bridge between worlds... they're places we make, so we have somewhere to go when we need to talk to those who are beyond and... hope beyond hope that they can hear us, wherever they are...”
He apprehensively looked back and forth as he continued down the path, feeling that strange weight increasing on his shoulders as he understood all too well that it wasn't the idea of lingering or malevolent dead that made him nervous... it was that with every step he took, the image of Luna in her grave became more and more real in his mind. And more and more, he felt something inside him shifting, twisting in turmoil, whispering denials even as it was forced to accept what seemed more and more like the undeniable truth.
Scrivener looked up silently as he strode onwards through the cemetery, looking slowly back and forth as he passed an enormous, faceless statue with wings spread and upper hooves lifted as if pleading to the skies above. He hesitated for a moment as he studied this, feeling strangely drawn to it... and then he shook his head slowly as he understood why, gazing quietly over the lunar lilies that grew all around its base. “Morgan, Keeper of Night, one of the three legendary heroes. Was it my obsession with all the old stories that made me want to pretend... you were her, Luna? No... I really... you really were my hero...”
He closed his eyes tightly, then turned and headed onwards until he reached a heavy iron gate, a sign bolted to the front of the bars declaring it was the entrance to the 'Royal Burial Grounds.' Scrivener sighed a little before he frowned a bit at the closed, tall gate, reaching forwards and pushing on it gently... and with a click, it swung slowly open, as if it had been left unlocked for him.
Scrivener strode carefully from the dirt trail he had been following onto cobbled, well-worn stone, his hooves quietly pacing along the path as he looked up, to the top of the gentle slope only a short distance away, where large and gilded mausoleums stood framed in shadow against the night sky. Then he frowned as he drew closer, eyes gazing through the darkness as he realized there was something ahead...
The charcoal stallion trotted faster, breathing harder as he passed by the graves of nobles, marked here and there with fresh flowers, their headstones and markers kept clean of both graffiti and natural dust. He hurried upwards, drawing closer to the tombs as he made out a blur of purple color, and what looked like the texture of cloth on a tall figure he couldn't quite identify...
But before he could cry out, before he could even draw close, the figure stood tall on its two legs and made a gentle tossing gesture with one long arm as it gave a quiet chuckle. Scrivener's attention was drawn to the thing it threw into the air, the bouquet framed for a moment against the stars as Scrivener began to open his mouth... and then there was a sound like a gasp of wind as a flock of black birds rose up from all around him.
Scrivener staggered with a wordless shout as the murder of crows blocked his vision, made him stumble as he felt them pass by like smoke made physical, their caws filling his ears. He cursed, clenching his eyes shut as he dropped his head instinctively before he hesitantly looked up as silence filled the air... and if not for the few feathers that were floating quietly down around him, he would have never thought the flock had been real after all.
A gentle breeze kicked up, pushing Scrivener's mane back as he grimaced a bit, then his nostrils twitched as a rich perfume touched his nose. The smell of roses... and as he hesitantly stepped forwards, he saw the bouquet that the figure had thrown, black roses that were bleeding their petals into the sky from the gentle wind, laying on the ground in front of a tomb marked with the symbol of Luna's beautiful night.
For a few moments, Scrivener only stared at this, mouth going dry as he realized this thing he'd seen... this thing, perhaps the same thing that had led him away in Ponyville... it was real. It had to be real, it had to have some answer for him, maybe he wasn't insane after all as he smiled and stepped forwards, breathing hard as he reached down and touched the bouquet... but the moment his hoof brushed against it, it was simply gone like a mirage, and Scrivener felt the gears in his mind clank and grind together painfully as a chill ran down his spine. “N... no...”
Slowly, Scrivener's hoof settled down on the short grass, breathing hard as he stared weakly at the place where the bouquet had been. There and gone, like an illusion... like a hallucination, as he trembled for a moment before looking slowly up at the mausoleum that housed his beloved as tears filled his eyes, whispering: “Luna... Luna, what am I supposed to do? What am I supposed to do without you... oh Horses of Heaven, I... I don't care what was real, who you really were, who I really was, I... I... I need you...”
Slowly, Scrivener sat back on his haunches, bowing his head forwards as a tear spilled down his cheek, breathing hard in and out as he trembled a little and then continued, rambling weakly: “Luna, you were everything to me... and you still are and... and... and I don't know what's real and what's not. But if you were here you'd... hit me and scold me and tell me to figure it our or move on with my life, I... I know you would. I'm trying, I'm trying so hard to be strong for you but I'm not strong, I'm weak, and... I don't want to forget you. I don't want to move on... I want you. It's selfish but... I still love you and I don't want to let you go and yet...”
He slowly looked up, staring at the tomb as he whispered: “Are these delusions, these... hallucinations... is it because... because I have such strong, intense feelings for Twilight, because... maybe the doctor was right, and I do want to move forwards with my life? Is it because I'm trying to move to the future, even though everything inside me screams for the past... Luna, how do I let go? How do I move on? How do I know what's real and what's not... I need help...”
Scrivener lowered his head forwards, then he reached a hoof up and silently touched the front of the mausoleum, whispering quietly: “I love you, Luna. You're my soulmate... you were always the one. But... does that mean living alone forever, pushing everyone away, secluding myself and... finding some way to always honor you? Or do I move on with life... do I try and embrace these feelings I have for Twilight, do I push through the delusions and remember you but... try and let go? Try and make a new life, a new start...”
He breathed hard, then stepped slowly backwards and whispered: “Give me a sign, Luna. Please... please tell me what I should do...”
Scrivener closed his eyes as he took another step backwards, moving his front hoof back... before a hoof tore up out of the ground, seizing into his and dragging it down, Scrivener yelling in horror and surprise as he looked down: and a moment later, Luna's head shoved upwards out of the earth, her eyes glaring at him, her locks like blue fire as she whispered: “Scrivener Blooms...”
Scrivener howled again, ripping his hoof free as he staggered backwards, shaking his head wildly in denial as Luna's hoof clawed into the ground before she clenched her eyes shut... and then she grinned, yanking herself upwards as twisted horns pushed out of her skull, blue-fire mane lashing back and forth as her pupils became slits and her coat turned dead black, Nightmare Moon whispering as bloody scars formed over her face: “We shall never let you go, beloved... come, come with us, come down into the darkness and join us in our warm cradle...”
The stallion could only shriek, shaking his head wildly as Nightmare Moon tore out of the earth as geysers of blood and black mire burst from the ground around him, and then Scrivener's eyes rolled up in his head as terror and horror overwhelmed his senses, collapsing forwards in a dead faint... and the last thing he was aware of was that amidst everything else, there was the faintest sense of relief... and a whisper of his undying love for her, even now.
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