The Long, Dark Tunnel

Chapter Five: Red-Painted Roses
~BlackRoseRaven

Scrivener Blooms sat at a large table in a slate-colored room, breathing quietly in and out, still a little shaken from his visions the night before. Early in the morning, a groundskeeper had found him... but thankfully, anger had turned to sympathy when Scrivener, after awakening in a panic, had hurriedly confessed that this was his wife's tomb... and that he guessed that he'd fallen asleep here and... had a nightmare.

So he'd rushed back to the hotel, where Twilight had been up all night, worried for him. She had gotten part of the story out of him, but what Scrivener needed more than anything at that time had been to quickly shower himself off and get ready for his interview in the afternoon, so the unicorn had extracted a promise from him to tell her about what had happened later and then thankfully left it alone.

The stallion had arrived early at the mental institute to go through check-in procedures, and they had taken him in around one-twenty to the conference room. On the other side of the table, four pony doctors were all assessing him with their clipboards in front of them, occasionally making notes on what he said or how he behaved and generally doing everything in their power to make him uncomfortable.

He'd been through this more than once before, so he knew the procedure, and the charcoal stallion was careful to keep himself as calm as possible. He was well aware of some of the nervous tics they'd be looking for and was doing his best to control himself by keeping his front hooves on the table and reminding himself to make eye contact when answering their questions.

It was a fine balance to run, though: if he was too calm and cordial, they'd suspect he was faking or hiding something, and would draw on the probing as much as possible. And if he was too aggressive or gave away too many signs of anxiety, they'd start pushing him harder. The trick was in irritating them just the right amount.

Scrivener looked meditatively across at the doctors, as one of them finally gazed up and asked calmly: “Are you taking your medication?”

“I suppose you have my blood work right there in front of you, don't you?” Scrivener asked dryly, and when the psychologist only looked at him as the others made notes and one mumbled disapprovingly, the charcoal stallion sighed and nodded. “I'm taking everything except the anti-psychotic. It doesn't help. It just turns me into a drooling moron.”

“You need to take all prescribed medication as you've been ordered to, Scrivener Blooms. It's for your own benefit. Or do you believe the doctors have an agenda, or are trying to hurt you in some way?” asked another psychologist, and Scrivener smiled wryly.

“Well, we all have our own agendas, don't we?” the charcoal stallion asked mildly, and then he shook his head and said quietly: “I don't think any doctors are conspiring against me, no. I do believe that if you had to actually sample some of your own medications instead of just the fun ones, you'd be way more careful about prescribing them. Like I said, I don't like the anti-psychotic because I literally will end up spending most of my day just sitting on the floor, drooling and staring at things, without the fun of being high. The anti-anxiety and antidepressants keep me in check.”

The doctors made more notes, were quiet for a little while, and then another asked calmly: “Have you suffered any seizures or catatonia within the last two weeks?”

“I haven't no. The worst I've had is insomnia but... that's nothing new.” Scrivener shook his head, and then one of the doctors looked up mildly.

“That's a lie, Scrivener Blooms, as I'm sure you're well aware of yourself. You suffered a very serious break with reality in Ponyville only recently, is that not correct?” asked the psychologist who had looked up, as the others continued to make notes.

Scrivener looked moodily at the doctor, then he gazed slowly over the panel that was judging him. For all their differences, they all seemed the same, too... like one faceless entity, a hydra that was trying to devour his sanity instead of his body. “Well, yes. But I wasn't seizing, catatonic, or even suffering from insomnia while that happened. I slept quite well that night, thank you very much.”

All four doctors looked up sourly at this, and Scrivener cleared his throat and glanced awkwardly away for a moment before there was silence again, except for the scratching of pens against paper. Scrivener shifted a bit, then reminded himself to stay calm as he breathed slowly and straightened a bit, waiting for what he knew was coming next.

“Describe your emotions during the event. Were you sad? Happy? Mad?” one of the other doctors asked, and Scrivener couldn't completely hide his scowl. It always bothered him, how patronizing they could be, claiming it was for simplicity's sake... but Scrivener was well aware that too many of them thought 'unwell' meant 'stupid.'

“I was...” Scrivener closed his eyes, mentally searching for a word before he said seriously: “Lugubrious.”

“Please don't make up words.” said one of the doctors irritably, before another leaned over and whispered hurriedly in his ear, and he looked surprised before blushing a bit and adding hurriedly: “By which I mean, it would be much better if you stuck to simple definitions. We can better understand each other that way, don't you agree?”

“Did you know that the word eros has no translation into our language? Yes, it's clearly got something to do with erotic but that doesn't begin to scratch the surface of what it really means.” Scrivener said dryly, and when the doctors all looked at him darkly, Scrivener continued mildly: “If I tell you that I was sad and I was mad, that does not even scratch the surface of what I felt. Well, sad does, yes: the word is so simple that only it can describe the absolute depth of what I was feeling. I was... I was sad. But mad? I wasn't mad, in any sense of the word... I was furious. But more than that, I was in pain, and I was lashing out, fighting back against this thing that was causing that pain. To make it stop hurting me.”

“You're justifying your act? You're saying that what you did was righteous?” asked another doctor, and Scrivener smiled faintly and shook his head slowly.

“No, I'm not, not at all. I said I did it to stop it from hurting me. I didn't say I did the right thing, or that I...” Scrivener quieted, glancing down at the table. “That I didn't lose control for a moment. But I was thrown into a situation where... dying... would... have been a pleasant outcome. Because otherwise, it would have... used me... for... to...”

Scrivener shivered a bit, and the doctors looked back and forth before they went back to making notes. Scrivener kept his eyes down, not wanting them to see his pain... it might be better for him if they did, but he didn't want to share that with these doctors. He didn't want to use that as a shield... as much as he wanted to get out of here, some things were best left... unturned.

Then, after a moment, a doctor asked quietly: “Do you understand that you took a life? Yes, Changelings are a threat to Equestria and we do not value them like we do the lives of ponies, but they are still sentient beings and most ponies prefer them subdued or driven off instead of killed.”

The charcoal stallion nodded a bit, looking down as he murmured quietly: “I do. And if I could do it all over again, I... I wouldn't do the same thing, obviously. I'm not stupid or prideful enough to think that what I did was right or just... I... I only know that... I did defend myself. I killed a monster, not a pony... and I'm not saying it was a monster because of what it looked like or because it was a Changeling, I'm saying it was a monster because it tried... it tried to use my memories of Luna.”

The doctors traded looks again, and there was silence before one of the doctors asked calmly: “Did the violence excite you? Did you feel powerful?”

“No.” Scrivener shook his head a bit, looking down as he said quietly: “I know I... that it's in my file that I have sadomasochistic tendencies. That I... enjoy... pain. But honestly, I... I didn't enjoy this. I was out of my mind with anger and misery and... there was no pleasure in the act. I was only thinking of... of Luna.”

Pen scratches, rumbles, a few murmurs... and then a doctor asked calmly: “Have you been suffering hallucinations? Delusions?”

“It's... kind of hard for me to tell you if I've been suffering from delusions. You know, apart from what you all tell me are delusions.” Scrivener said after a moment, and one of the doctors looked at him tiredly as the others only went back to writing, before Scrivener hesitantly shook his head as he lied: “No. Just... just nightmares.”

“Tell us about the nightmares.” one of the doctors said, and Scrivener hesitated again and shifted, moodily looking down and wondering how much of the truth to tell before the psychologist prompted: “Scrivener, you have to tell us. Otherwise we can't approve of you leaving this facility... a powerful enough nightmare could trigger another violent episode, which would make it too hazardous for you to be out in society right now.”

“No, no.” Scrivener said a little too fast, wincing and looking up, and then he sighed a bit and nodded slowly, mumbling: “I... okay. They're... they're not... violent nightmares, though. They're... about... Luna. About my... delusions, as you call them, and... I see...”

He reached up, grasping at his forehead and murmuring quietly: “I feel powerless, and I don't know what to do. I see Luna... I see two Lunas, who are both so different and so much the same, and... I don't know what's real or what's not. They make me want to just curl up and cry... they suck the life right out of me.”

One of the doctors nodded, and there was silence for a few minutes as they wrote and checked notes. Scrivener was glad for the short reprieve, as he gathered himself again... then he looked up with a grimace as one of the doctors asked: “You currently have a caretaker helping keep an eye on you, correct? Her name is Twilight Sparkle... what is your relationship with her?”

“Friends. She's... my friend. My best friend, I guess, with Luna gone...” Scrivener shook his head a bit, looking down. “She's been extremely understanding and she's one of very few ponies who don't set off my anxieties or my paranoia. I'm lucky to have her looking out for me. I just wish... she didn't have to, you know? That I wasn't... that she didn't have to always keep an eye on me.”

The doctors showed little reaction to this, before one asked calmly: “Are you in a sexual relationship with her?”

“No, I am not.” Scrivener said dryly, and the doctors all looked at him pointedly before the charcoal stallion pointed at his own face, saying moodily: “Have you looked at me lately? And Twilight Sparkle is kind of a big deal. She can... do a lot better than creepy me, who she has to babysit all day.”

This seemed to convince most of the doctors, although one was still scrutinizing the charcoal stallion, and he shifted a bit before the psychologist that was still looking at him asked slowly: “Do you ever have sexual thoughts about her?”

“I... well, I am now.” Scrivener grimaced and rubbed at his face with a hoof, then he muttered: “Thanks for that, really.”

“Please just answer the question. Do you ever have sexual fantasies involving Twilight Sparkle?” the doctor reiterated, and Scrivener wondered morosely why they had to be so fascinated with this, of all subjects.

“She's attractive, strong, composed, and a librarian. How could I not... think... you know?” Scrivener said finally, and the doctors all made further notes.

For a few moments, there was silence, and then one of the doctors looked up, questioning: “How would you describe your stay in Ponyville so far?”

“Good.” Scrivener said softly, and he smiled a bit, nodding slowly after a moment. “It's been good. I was able to do work at Sweet Apple Acres, and I'm... a lot more relaxed than I ever was in the institution. I was getting to know other ponies and... building relationships. I felt more at peace there than... I have in a long time.”

More note-taking, and Scrivener hesitated before he asked finally: “Are we going to be much longer?”

“We still have more questions.” said one of the psychologists, and Scrivener sighed a little as he slumped back in his uncomfortable seat, nodding moodily.

The doctors questioned him about every detail of his life in Ponyville, and on his mental state, his delusions, his past, present and future. They seemed determined to rout out something, or perhaps just to stress him into having a fit, but Scrivener refused to give them the pleasure or satisfaction, keeping himself as civil as he could while sliding in the occasional biting remark here and there.

After another grueling forty minutes, they finally sent him outside to wait so they could confer, and the charcoal stallion grumbled a bit as he paced in the hall of the mental institute, looking gloomily back and forth as patients and doctors and staff milled by. He knew the wait would be short, but if anything, that only made him all the more anxious.

Five minutes later, the door was opened and a doctor brought him back in, Scrivener rejoining them at the table. For a few moments, there was silence as he shifted back and forth uncomfortably... and then one of the psychologists leaned forwards, saying quietly: “Scrivener Blooms. We have causes for concern with your case: you have a violent neurosis and borderline psychosis, you prefer fantasy over reality, and you refuse to follow the instructions of your doctors. We feel... uncomfortable, letting you resume life outside this mental institution.

“However. You are under careful observation and guidance, and Dr. Sanus has vouched for you. We are willing to release you on the condition that you meet with Dr. Sanus once a week and take all prescribed medication, which we will be monitoring. We will also be asking Dr. Duck in Ponyville to have regular sessions with you and keep an eye on things.

“Also, if in the future there is another incident like what occurred with the Changeling... you will be brought back to the Canterlot Institute for Mental Health immediately, and placed back in care here. The same goes if we receive any reports of violence against other ponies, and this includes strong verbal threats. Your deteriorated mental health is not a shield or a crutch, Scrivener Blooms. You will be held accountable for your actions, do I make myself clear?”

“Crystal.” Scrivener said moodily, but he felt a burst of gladness all the same, breathing a little easier now as he bowed his head and mumbled: “Thank you.”

The doctors only nodded, and then they all climbed to their hooves and filed out. For a few moments, Scrivener sat at the table, slumping back a bit... and then a nurse poked her head in the door and looked at him before saying awkwardly: “Excuse me, sir, we need this room...”

“Sorry, the. Shrinks just up and left me. I guess saying 'goodbye' is too much of a waste of their valuable time.” Scrivener muttered, standing up, and the nurse smiled, then hurriedly covered her mouth, but the charcoal stallion only laughed and shook his head as he headed to the door and out past her, trading a nod with the mare on the way out.

He made his way to the front of the institute, where Twilight Sparkle had chosen to wait for him in one of the reading rooms. He entered the den-like room, seeing a few ponies sitting and reading hand-me-down books from the battered shelves, his eyes easily picking out the violet mare and smiling widely as he noticed that she was now wearing her new collar around her neck.

He figured she must have picked it up while he was in session: it looked beautiful on her, the etching of the rose on the clasp perfect from what he could see. He smiled softly, then shook his head slowly before asking calmly: “You ready to go home?”

Twilight glanced up with surprise, and then she smiled warmly and set the book down, nodding slowly once as Scrivener noted with surprise she had picked up an earring, too: a black, moon-shaped stud, and he softened at the sight of this before the violet mare said quietly: “Yeah, I am, Scrivy. You're getting out?”

“I am.” Scrivener nodded as Twilight stood up and slipped her satchel on, then she strode quickly across the room to him, and the two shared a tight hug. They parted, and Scrivener smiled at her as they both turned and fell into pace, saying softly: “You look... good.”

“I feel good.” Twilight replied softly, shaking her head and laughing quietly as they strode slowly down the corridor, before the violet unicorn murmured quietly: “Now we can sort everything out in Ponyville, Scrivener. You'll see, everypony will come around.”

“Yeah.” Scrivener said softly, and he smiled a bit at Twilight even as he felt a strange chill run down his spine, studying the mare for a moments as her eyes remained distant and a strange, small smile played over her face.

Scrivener Blooms found himself sitting quietly back on his futon in the back room of the library that evening, jotting down notes in a notebook. Twilight Sparkle had taken Spike out for ice cream at Sugar Cube Corners, but Scrivener wasn't alone, either.

Rainbow Dash was sitting across from him, the mare watching moodily before she said grouchily: “This is supposed to be cooler.”

“You're supposed to be cooler. Shut up.” Scrivener mumbled in response, and Rainbow glowered at him before the male finally spun the journal around and poked the page a few times with his quill. “There's the outline.”

The Pegasus snatched up the journal, eyes flicking back and forth over it before she frowned and asked: “Are you sure this will be cool enough? I want it to be cool. I don't want it to be lame like your stories totally are.”

“Yes, that's why you're more than halfway through Starlit Knights.” Scrivener muttered, then he asked finally: “What's the deal with you and Applejack in this world, anyway? Why do you get so worked up every time I threaten to tell her? Not that she'll even talk to me right now, of course... just giving her a look when she passed us today, I thought Big Mac was getting ready to kick me to the moon.”

Rainbow Dash snorted in amusement, then she smiled a little and reached up to pat his shoulder. “Hey, don't worry about it, dude. He's... he's protective of his family, that's all, and... you were kind of scary.” She softened, leaning in and asking quietly: “You are okay now, right? 'Cause seriously... that made me believe some of the stuff you've written about yourself in these dumb stories of yours.”

Scrivener nodded after a moment, glancing down and rubbing the back of his head before he sighed a little. “Yeah. I'm okay, Rainbow, I am. But you're not answering my question.”

“Yeah, exactly. I'm not.” Rainbow said in a surly voice, and Scrivener rolled his eyes before the pale-blue Pegasus mumbled and picked up the journal, asking moodily: “I thought you said you taught writing before. This isn't teaching, by the way.”

“Yes, it kind of is. I'm just neatening your ideas a little so that you'll actually start writing yourself. But until you actually... write something... I can't really do much to help you or judge your skills or strengths or weaknesses.” Scrivener replied pointedly, then he reached up and knocked firmly on Rainbow's skull, and the Pegasus flailed at him a bit. “Besides, I thought you were too cool for this sort of thing. Training for the Wonderbolts and... being... stupid... and everything.”

“Hey! You're stupid.” Rainbow said defensively, and then she sighed and rolled her eyes, adding moodily: “And it's off-season. I just need something to keep my hooves busy, that's... that's all. Besides, Daring Do is cool, and your stories are kind of okay. I liked when the demon got the snot kicked out of him. And I'm pretty badass. But I'm not a dude, you do know that, right?”

“Spread your legs and prove it.” Scrivener grumbled, and Rainbow stared at him, then glared and leaned forwards challengingly, and the earth pony cleared his throat and leaned back lamely. “Sorry. It's... it's been a rough day, and my mouth is talking before my brain can process what I'm saying.”

“Yeah, well. I have no clue what Twilight sees in you.” Rainbow paused, then leaned forwards and poked at him a few times, Scrivener looking grumpily at her. “Still. You are pretty big and all. Not too easy on the eyes but I guess with a paper bag on your head I might still take you out for a spin. Assuming you're not tiny down there to make up for how big you are everywhere else.”

Scrivener grumbled again under his breath, and then she picked up the journal and muttered to herself as she read through it quickly again, saying finally: “Anyway, I came to you and not Twilight because you're the writer guy, and Twilight would never let me live this down and would also make me read like. Textbooks about writing stuff or something. How do I-”

“Just write.” Scrivener interrupted, and the Pegasus glowered at him before he added: “And try to make it a story. Not just one long action scene. Remember, Daring Do doesn't set off the traps while fighting the evil witchdoctor and his entire tribe while trying to stop the world from being destroyed by... cosmic rays, I dunno, I never read the books. I just always made fun of Twilight for reading them.”

“What's wrong with Daring Do?” the Pegasus asked defensively, and Scrivener snorted in amusement and gave her a pointed look, and a moment later Rainbow relaxed a bit. “Oh, right, yeah. Twilight reading adventure stories, not... textbooks and... instruction books and... all those other big scary old books she reads. You know, I tried to pick up one of her other books she recommended to me, and it was awful. Something about a ring and tiny ponies. And dwarves.”

“Did you read it or did you just give up? Some stories are just a matter of pushing forwards a little... especially if they make you feel out of your element. Our natural instinct when we don't fully comprehend something is to push it away, same goes with something if it's a challenge... you're not a quitter, are you, Dashie?” Scrivener asked mildly, and Rainbow glared at him balefully.

“You're not getting me with that line again, you jerk!” Rainbow swung a hoof at him, but Scrivener easily ducked back before the Pegasus grumbled, then asked moodily: “Anyway. You gonna join me and Pinkie for a drink tomorrow at the tavern? AJ and Big Mac won't be there.”

Scrivener nodded hesitantly after a moment, and Rainbow paused before she said slowly: “By the way... do... did something happen between you and Fluttershy? She's been even quieter than usual lately, and when I tried to go over and see her and talk to her about things, she just kind of quietly shut me out. But she mentioned that she was thinking a lot about what you had been saying.”

The earth pony frowned at this, shaking his head and saying softly: “Really? Because I only talked to her once...”

Rainbow looked thoughtful at this, and then she grunted and shook her head quickly, saying quietly: “Well, whatever. I'm sure she'll come around... you know, sometimes I really do wonder about what her parents must have been like. But I don't think... anyone could survive a childhood with Sol Seraph.”

Rainbow shivered a bit, making a face, and Scrivener grunted in agreement before the Pegasus shook her head and smiled a bit. “Anyway. You're an interesting guy, Scrivener. Crazy, sure, but that's pretty cool, too. I just know that if I ever got in a bad fight, I'd want you at my back, not against me. Maybe you're not as strong as Big Mac but you might be scarier.”

Scrivener smiled despite himself before Rainbow stepped forwards and held up a hoof, and Scrivener reached out and bumped his against her's, saying softly: “Thanks. You ain't so bad yourself, Rainbow.”

“Yeah.” Rainbow and Scrivener studied one-another for a few moments, and then the Pegasus shook her head and smiled. “Alright, I'm gonna go then. Try this stupid stuff. And you're not going to tell anypony, right?”

“No more than I've told anyone about your crush on Applejack.” Scrivener said blandly, and Rainbow rolled her eyes and punched him in the shoulder.

“I don't have a crush on Applejack. I just...” Rainbow hesitated, glancing away and rubbing at her scalp moodily. “I dunno. It doesn't matter either way, AJ is kinda... you know. Not. Into that. And Big Mac is also kind of. Not. Into. That. And... and why do you even care, anyway?”

“Because I'm nosy.” Scrivener shrugged, then he sighed and looked down, rubbing at his own face as he murmured softly: “And because I cling to every little thing that could possibly form a link between the real world and my delusions. Between what's real and what I believe in...”

Rainbow shook her head a bit at this, studying him curiously before she finally simply nodded a bit and sighed moodily. “Well, still totally none of your business, but...” She hesitated, then grumbled and rubbed at the side of her neck. “I dunno why I'm telling you anything.”

“I'm also completely insane. Which means that no one is going to believe whatever I say and thus I'm the only person who it makes sense to tell anything.” Scrivener said mildly, and Rainbow looked thoughtful at this before she nodded slowly, as the charcoal stallion said softly: “Might be nice to get off your chest, anyway.”

“Okay, okay.” Rainbow shook her head slowly, looking down and mumbling: “Don't get me wrong. I got no interest in being a guy... well, I mean. Might be fun to try, admittedly. Being big and strong and handsome and I could set up a mirror and... hey, don't give me that look! Seriously, though... I'm just saying maybe you're not wrong on all accounts. Do I see myself sometime in the future... you know, waking up next to... a certain... someone... every day for the rest of my life? I don't know. I don't think so. Would I like to try it out, get a taste, see what happens? Yeah, I would. Even putting things as they are right now at risk... yeah, I would. Because... what's life without a little risk, right?”

Rainbow grinned faintly, glancing up with a blush, but when Scrivener only smiled and nodded a little, she sighed and dropped her head forwards. “But it's not that easy and I know she doesn't feel the same way and... well. I don't think either of them would like it very much if I came out and said I... uh...”

“Play both sides of the field.” Scrivener supplied, and Rainbow grunted and looked at him mildly. “It's alright, Rainbow. Then again, I'm fairly sure most would be amazed you're not some butch bull-dyke.”

Rainbow glowered at him, and Scrivener held up a hoof, saying mildly: “I'm allowed to say things like that. My daughter is a lesbian and I love her to pieces. Luna and I would tease her and... and...”

Scrivener bowed his head forwards, then he laughed a bit as Rainbow gazed at him softly, the Pegasus studying him before she said quietly: “Even with all this evidence in front of you, even living in this world like you are and with Twilight and... hell, me, sitting here, clearly not a stallion, maybe lusting on but far from madly in love with a certain mare like you wrote... you still believe in this crazy stuff, don't you?”

The earth pony looked up quietly, and then he asked softly: “If you had a choice between living in a world where you don't know the difference between hallucinations and reality, where the pony you love is dead and you're scared of what you could do to the few ponies you care about... and a world where you had your soulmate beside you, a wonderful life with maybe not everything you wanted, where maybe you spent a lot of time fighting back awful things... but a life with meaning, and wonderment, and adventure... and most of all, friends and family... what would you take?”

Rainbow was silent, the two looking at each other, and then the Pegasus stepped forwards and hugged him awkwardly, and Scrivener smiled a little as he hugged her back as she mumbled: “You're such a big baby.”

“You remind me a little of Pinkamena sometimes. You're much grouchier as a mare than you are as a stallion.” Scrivener muttered, and Rainbow grumbled under her breath. But before she could say anything, there was the sharp, loud sound of a throat clearing, and Scrivener and Rainbow both looked up in surprise to see Twilight standing in the archway leading in from the main room.

She was studying them both perhaps a little too intently as Rainbow grinned awkwardly and hurriedly shoved herself away, and Scrivener simply sat back and rose a hoof to her, saying quietly: “Hey, Twilight.”

“Hey, Scrivener.” Twilight said softly, turning her eyes to him before her irises roved to Rainbow... and they became much moodier, almost sharp, as she asked calmly: “What are you doing here?”

“Uh.” Rainbow Dash looked caught off-guard by the near-hostility of the unicorn, and Scrivener frowned a bit before the Pegasus answered lamely: “Getting writing advice?”

“Well, Scrivy and I still have some work to do before bed, and it's starting to get late. Maybe you should head home.” Twilight said quietly, and even if her voice was gentle, her eyes made it clear she wasn't asking.

Rainbow frowned slowly at this, but she nodded hesitantly all the same, muttering: “Yeah. Yeah, I guess you're right. Alright... see you tomorrow, Scrivy.”

Scrivener nodded, then he frowned a bit as he stood up, watching the Pegasus sweep up the journal before she took to the air and flew quickly over Twilight and presumably out of the library. The charcoal stallion had his eyes on Twilight, however, as the violet mare relaxed visibly before tilting her head when Scrivener asked: “What was all that about?”

“What? Oh. Nothing, nothing at all.” Twilight smiled across at him, then she blushed and glanced down, saying awkwardly: “I guess... just... just stress. And I just wanted to be alone with you, Scrivener, that's all... that's why I decided to let Spike stay over at Applejack's tonight. Applejack is looking after the Crusaders, see, and they're having some campout so... you know. Let Spike spend time with kids his own age.”

“Isn't Spike really only a few years younger than you?” Scrivener asked finally, but Twilight only gave him a look before the charcoal stallion shook his head and smiled a bit. “Alright. Just.. you know. You were kind of creepy there for a minute.”

“You're creepy.” Twilight grumbled in response, and Scrivener laughed despite himself before the violet mare added: “And I do actually have some work for us to do, by the way. Princess Celestia asked me to help edit and sort through a new anthology of Canterlot poems and writing, and I figured since you know the subject, you could help. I think she even asked for some of your work to be included.”

“Oh hell.” Scrivener rolled his eyes, and Twilight smiled amusedly at the charcoal stallion before he sighed tiredly and nodded grumpily, mumbling: “Alright, alright. Let's get to work, then.”

Scrivener strode towards the violet mare, and she gazed at him almost adoringly as he approached, making another chill run along his spine before he shook himself out... but even as they worked late into the night, side-by-side, he thought he caught flashes of it, and his anxieties began to feel more.. pronounced. He couldn't put his hoof on it, since he was well-aware it could just be paranoia and the fact they had both had... emotionally tumultuous days for the last while... but something seemed off. Something seemed almost wrong...

But by the next morning, Scrivener had forgotten about it, and as days passed and became weeks, he found himself concentrating much more on surviving his nightmares and settling back into Ponyville, rather than focusing on what was worrying him about Twilight. Besides, she treated him wonderfully: she was understanding, compassionate, gentle, and she was always there for him. He was able to talk openly with her, and share his every thought with her; she comforted him after his nightmares, and often, they found their bodies close, their gazes lingering, their emotions feeling sweeter and stronger when they were together...

And yet it wasn't like his worries vanished completely, either: they surfaced from time-to-time, as Twilight Sparkle became a little more different. She had started practicing older magic, scarier magic, than most unicorns were taught in this day and age... and she had gotten Rarity to provide her with an onyx rose earring for her other ear, taking after the Twilight that Scrivener had written about. More than that, she had added several other piercings: two rings in one eyebrow, one in her nose, and a stud... in her tongue.

The first piercing had been in her eyebrow: she and Scrivener had been joking around, talking as they walked through Ponyville, and as they'd been passing a tattoo parlor Scrivener had glanced in and mumbled that he thought piercings were kind of neat. Twilight had teased him, and he had argued, and then suddenly they were both inside, getting matching eyebrow piercings.

And Twilight had gone back to get the others over the course of a week, although Scrivener and her friends had teased her a lot about the tongue stud. Still, it was... strange. The charcoal stallion never would have expected it from her... and while she was still the same book-smart Twilight Sparkle, with her piercings, shortened mane, and growing bold streak, she was becoming a very different pony at the same time, too.

Scrivener Blooms didn't want to think about why she was doing this... mostly because he thought that some ponies blamed him for Twilight's transformation, and he couldn't completely blame them. He himself wondered sometimes if Twilight was changing herself to try and make herself more appealing to him... even if, at the same time, they hadn't shared so much as a kiss yet, and even if they were living together and spending plenty of time in close quarters, they weren't really in any official relationship, either.

It felt almost like they were both waiting for the right moment, but Scrivener didn't know what that meant. Rarity would sometimes question him about this; strangely, he could comfortably call her a friend like Rainbow Dash was, even if Applejack was still wary of him and he had caught maybe a bare glimpse of Fluttershy since his initial meeting with the blonde Pegasus.

Scrivener wondered sometimes what Celestia would think if she caught sight of her student: apparently Shining Armor hadn't been completely thrilled with his sister's new look, and Scrivener also questioned morbidly whether or not he was going to end up pummeled by Twilight's big brother one of these days. Although at the same time, Scrivener wondered what Twilight would do if a confrontation arose between him and someone else Twilight was close to, considering the way she was acting...

With these thoughts whirling around in his head one night a little more than a month after his assessment in Canterlot, Scrivener made the mistake of trying to catch a nap... and three hours later, he was shivering and sitting at the table in the library, slowly stirring a cup of tea he'd made to try and help calm his nerves. He'd had another nightmare... Lunas, Nightmare Moon, and this time Twilight Sparkle had all been in the mix... his Twilight...

He remembered her so vividly... touching her, stroking silently over the stitching lining her body after what she'd survived, and yet he hadn't been repulsed but enthralled. How shy she'd been, how quiet, but how alluring and still so beautiful, even with the changes that had gone through her body... what they called winged unicorn, and here, everypony called 'alicorn.'

And then he jumped and spun around when Twilight's voice called quietly: “Scrivy, are you okay?”

The charcoal stallion breathed hard in and out, and then he finally smiled faintly and reached up to touch his own chest, closing his eyes and bowing his head forwards as he mumbled: “Yeah... yeah, I'm fine... I'm... I'm sorry. I thought you were... somepony else.”

Twilight... this world's Twilight, with her piercings and messy mane and concerned eyes, strode towards him and tilted her head, asking quietly: “What is it? Did... did you have another nightmare?”

“I did, yeah. Just...” Scrivener shuddered after a moment, lowering his head and grasping his cup of tea before he sipped slowly from it, mumbling: “I'm sorry. I didn't mean to wake you up.”

“You didn't. I guess I wasn't sleeping very well... I saw the light on and...” Twilight hesitated, and then she approached him carefully, asking quietly: “Are you sure that you're alright? You look shaken up.”

Scrivener only smiled a little, drawing his eyes back to her, slowly gazing over her before his eyes locked with hers, drinking in the details, seeing the subtle differences amongst the larger ones between his Twilight Sparkle, and this Twilight Sparkle... who... who is... “I... Twilight...”

Twilight stepped towards him hesitantly, and Scrivener studied her before he shook his head hurriedly and dropped it, murmuring: “Sorry. I just keep... thinking. Comparing this world to my own... I mean, my delusions...”

“It's okay. I know it happens after the nightmares... I just... I just wish you'd recognize this is your world now. And that...” Twilight hesitated, reaching a hoof up to touch him gently, getting his attention as he glanced up at her quietly. “Scrivener... I'm...”

She quieted, and the two ponies studied each other in silence for a few moments before the violet mare blushed and shook her head, closing her eyes. “Sorry. I guess I'm tired and... I don't mean to come across as so selfish. I know how important it is to you, I just... I just want you to know the truth. Even if the truth... hurts.”

She looked away silently, and Scrivener turned towards her, reaching up and touching her shoulder gently. Slowly, she drew her eyes upwards, and they looked at one another as Scrivener felt his heart thudding in his chest, his mind rising violently... and then settling slowly as he reached both hooves up to grasp her shoulders, and then leaned forwards to gently meet her lips with his own.

Their eyes slid closed as they kissed, and Twilight's hooves reached up, sliding slowly along his chest to his shoulders, her forelegs sliding around his neck as he pushed forwards against her. Emotions, needs, instincts rolled and roared through Scrivener's body as he pulled her closer, deepened the kiss for a few moments before their lips broke, then met again.

Twilight pushed against him, their bodies grinding together before he pushed her down and she let herself be pinned, closing her eyes as their mouths worked together, then parted again so she could bury her face into the side of his neck, whispering his name as their bodies moved in time with one-another's, as passion and pleasure and longing and lust all twisted into one glorious meeting...

In the morning, Scrivener opened his eyes with a quiet yawn before he realized he was laying back on his futon... and then he smiled softly as he looked down and saw that Twilight Sparkle was snuggled up against him, held safe and close, looking content and peaceful. He gazed down at her affectionately, and then her eyes slowly opened before she looked up at him and smiled softly, leaning up... and they kissed gently, quietly for a moment, before she snuggled into his neck and whispered almost shyly: “Good morning.”

“Good morning, Twilight.” Scrivener replied softly, squeezing her closer before he laughed a little as he nuzzled her gently, feeling a flutter of warmth and tenderness run through him, displacing everything else for the moment: for once, for this rare moment in time, he was content to simply... be content. “How are you feeling?”

“Amazing.” she murmured, blushing, and Scrivener laughed quietly before she nuzzled up against him and added quietly: “You better not run off and leave me now.”

“I was thinking about it, but I guess I'm used to living here. That, and, you know, the doctors are still keeping an eye on me and everything.” Scrivener replied mildly, and Twilight smacked his chest gently, making him laugh before he smiled down at her. “Okay, okay. You were pretty good last night, too, how about that?”

“I really like it when you smile.” Twilight said softly, looking up at him warmly, and Scrivener blushed a bit before the violet mare added playfully, sitting up and pushing her front hooves down against his chest: “And well, you could use a few pointers yourself, but... it was... good.”

“Oh screw you.” Scrivener laughed all the same, shaking his head and shoving her off, and Twilight joined in his laughter as she fell on her back, the two gazing warmly at one another before she smiled softly and reached out to touch his face gently as he rubbed a hoof slowly down her front. “Twilight...”

“Yeah, Scrivy?” The violet mare gazed at him affectionately, and then she blushed and reached a hoof up to his lips, covering them as she murmured: “No, wait. I want to say something.”

Scrivener softened, tilting his head a bit as she drew her hoof away, then she sat up a bit and bowed her head towards him, murmuring softly: “Scrivener... from the moment we met... there was something special between us. We've been friends since that first day I saw you... and you and Luna taught me so much, and took care of me, and now I want to take care of you. I remember what we all promised each other... and I'm going to honor that. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't doing this for me, but... I want to think that this is what Luna would want, too. Us both to be happy like this... together, like this. Her best friends, taking care of each other... loving each other... with her gone.”

Scrivener slowly lowered his head, nodding and closing his eyes even as he felt a strange, indistinct twist run through his body... and then he finally looked up, as Twilight said softly: “I want you to know that I want to... to be more like you. I want to grow more into what you're comfortable with... I want to experience the world you were building with Luna, that you two always talked about. I know Celestia didn't always approve of your relationship with her little sister, but I did. And I know my friends are a little worried about us, but now that we can tell them that... we're... well...”

Twilight blushed awkwardly, looking down and rubbing at her face slowly as she mumbled: “I mean, we are... you know... this isn't just... I mean...”

Scrivener smiled a little, sitting up and brushing away his anxieties as he reached a hoof out, guiding her chin up as he said quietly: “Yes, Twilight. It wasn't a one-night-stand and... as far as I'm concerned – and I think a few of the others are, too – we've... been together for a while now, actually. I mean, we spend all our time together, looking out for one-another... and... well... other things.”

Scrivener laughed and shook his head, then he smiled after a moment at her as she looked up and nodded warmly. Then the two carefully stood up before he stroked her face gently with a hoof, meeting her eyes with his own. “And you shouldn't... worry about being more like me, or trying to... fit in. You already fit because... you are who you are.”

“I am... but all the same, I'd like to be closer. I'd like to fit better... and I guess...” Twilight shrugged a bit, blushing and looking at him embarrassedly. “I'm curious and I trust you. I... more than that... I... I love you.”

Scrivener looked at her with surprise as she blushed deep red, and when he opened his mouth, she shook her head vehemently, saying embarrassedly: “Don't. You don't have to say it back and I mean, I just... wanted to get that off my chest. I do and... I have for a long time now.” Twilight looked slowly up at him, trembling a bit even as she smiled faintly. “Don't hate me, Scrivy, but... I think I loved you even back when you were with Luna and... when she died...”

The charcoal stallion nodded, closing his eyes as he bowed his head forwards, and Twilight flushed deeply as she looked away and murmured: “I should have kept that to myself, I'm sorry.”

“No. I understand and... I appreciate your honesty.” Scrivener murmured, and he looked down as he said softly: “We're all just... animals, aren't we? Balls of need and desire and primal instinct... I guess that's why it means so much when we do manage to work together and overcome our own natures...”

Twilight only looked at him for a few moments, and then she stepped forwards and hugged him tightly, and Scrivener returned the embrace after a moment even as he felt uneasy. Not for her confession, which did send a strange ache through him... but because of something else. Something in her eyes, before she murmured softly into his ear: “But don't worry, Scrivener. I'm here for you, and for you alone. I'm going to be here for you forever... and I don't think I'll ever be able to let you go.”

Scrivener smiled a little when she drew back, even as it sent another chill down his spine, before Twilight shook her head and turned, saying softly over her shoulder: “Come on, Scrivy. Let me make breakfast for once, and then... I guess we can go and pick up Spike, and... we should tell him about things.”

She looked down, shaking her head slowly and mumbling: “I have to admit that... this kind of scares me. Almost as much as it scares me to think of what it's going to be like telling Celestia and Shining Armor...”

“We could just. Not tell them?” Scrivener suggested lamely, and Twilight gave him an exasperated look as they headed out into the main room of the library, the charcoal stallion shrugging and mumbling: “Well, it was worth a shot, anyway. I don't want either of them mad at me, Twilight. I even less want either of them pummeling me.”

“They're not going to pummel you, Scrivener. Besides, look at you: you're a big, tough pony. You can handle a little beating here and there.” Twilight smiled and tossed him a wink, and Scrivener grumbled at her before she gestured to the table. “Go sit down, puddin', and I'll go and get breakfast ready.”

Scrivener looked blankly at her as Twilight turned and headed to the kitchen, and then he blinked after a few moments and mumbled: “'Puddin'?' Where the hell did that come from?”

He quickly shook his head out after a moment, then headed over to the table and fidgeted a bit as he sat down, looking over the scattered papers and books before he sighed quietly and picked up a nearby tome. He studied it for a moment, then tossed it aside with a mumble: “I guess it could be worse... right?”

There was no answer, and Scrivener shrugged a bit as he half-neatened the desk by shoving most of the books and papers on it off to one side. Then he sat up and rubbed at his face before finally glancing at the corridor, and he couldn't help but finally sigh and slide free of his seat, heading into the kitchen after Twilight as he said mildly: “I was getting bored, so-”

“I was wondering when you'd finally show up.” Twilight interrupted with a wink and a sultry smile, and Scrivener stared at the particular food objects she'd set out on the table as she gazed over at him: chocolate syrup, whipped cream, and what looked like a variety of sugary treats. “I thought we could have something special... to eat...”

Scrivener grinned dumbly, but before he could respond, Twilight was already kissing him, and all his protests were swallowed as the taste of sweet candy invaded his lips.