"Is that a new dress?" Hypnos asked me as I came out of my dressing room. I nodded, placing a quick peck on her blackcurrant flavored lips. It always gave me a buzz to taste blackcurrants, especially when it was from kissing my boss, I never understood why.

"Do you like it? I saw it earlier today and, well, I had some extra cash." I smiled.

"Maybe I'm paying you too much." Hypnos laughed, shaking her head. "Hey, after your set, stick around. I want to talk to you about your 401k."

"You're not gonna talk me out of it, right?" I asked, my smile sinking. "Because I trust that it's a safe investment."

"What? Oh, no, some things just came up that you'll want to know." Hypnos waved her hoof at me. "Nothing too important. Go up and sing, we'll talk about it more afterwards."

I loved my performances at the Midnight Escape. Every mare in the club had eyes on me and was swayed by my voice. The moment was serene and while I was on stage, the moment was mine. I had a few favorites for the crowd, a few old songs I knew that always went down well, mixed with a couple renditions of labor songs.

"Do you want a ball and chain 'round your ankles, or one... between your eyes! Go on and leave, I dare ya." I smiled at the applause as I finished. I bowed, stepping down from the stage. One of Hypnos' scantily clad waitresses passed me a glass of whiskey, paid for by a patron. I loved regulars, they knew me so well.

"So, what was it you wanted to talk about?" I asked as I walked into Hypnos' office, taking a swig from my glass.

"I just wanted to be sure you really were going to head to the bank before leaving for Canterlot." Hypnos shrugged. "It's a big trip for you, I don't want you to ruin it for yourself."

"Oh, no, it's all fine, Hypnos. I promise. I was going to head to the bank tomorrow, actually." I smiled sweetly. "I like to take care of things as soon as they turn up."

"I figured, but didn't want to assume." Hypnos laughed. "Well, you take care of things at First City and good luck in Canterlot, Dulcet."

"Want me to get you anything while I'm there?"

"Hmm... If you can pick me up a Princess or two?" Hypnos smirked. She loved to rub it in how Princess Celestia herself frequented the club.

"As if you need my help with that." I laughed. "Hey, maybe I'll bring home a man this time."

"As if Canterlot stallions are anything worth wanting. Nobles and inbreds the lot of them. Trust me, pick yourself up a nice mare, Canterlot mares seem stuck up, but they're a lot of fun once you get them to open up."

"Weren't you raised in Canterlot?"

"Exactly, who knows better than a native? Or, whatever I am, since I left Canterlot decades ago."

"Good morning, Miss Dulcet, what can I help you with today?" The bank manager smiled as I stepped into his office. Lien Rigger, I think he name is, was a friendly enough pony on the surface, if somewhat boring. Boring is good.

"Well, Mr. Rigger, I was looking to see about going over my current finances, and hoping that 1st City would be able to help." I said sweetly. Nothing about it was a lie, per se. I did legally bank here and my finances were about to be helped considerably by the bank. "Mrs. Dreams said something about my retirement fund being transferred here from Harvest and Planter after she herself changed banks to you."

Again, none of it is a lie.

"Of course, ma'am! Just give me one moment." Lien's brow furrowed as he tapped away on his computer. After a few moments, he snorted, shaking his head. "I'm very sorry, Miss Dulcet. We've recently switched over to a new system, there are still a few bugs here and there."

"That's... I hope I can still access my accounts here." This was the best possible news I could have heard today. It was hard keeping the sheer elation at this development out of my voice.

"Oh, of course, Miss Dulcet. Why don't you wait in the lounge while I bring in tech support. It shouldn't take more than fifteen minutes, a half hour at the absolute most." Lien back out of the office. I nodded as I turned to leave.

"I certainly hope so, Mr. Rigger."

Closing the door behind me, I started towards the customer lounge, before making a sudden turn down a side hallway. This led to the back entrance. If anyone asked, I was going back to smoke. I had taken this route to the back a dozen times before, so ponies knew to expect it from me. This was the key to hitting a bank this big. Harvest and Planter were just too small for anything besides a smash and grab. 1st City required preplanning, routines, and believable cover. It's why I even showed up today at all.

The back entrance opened up to the employee parking lot, hidden from public view by the newer buildings around the old bank, and with plenty of cover this time of day thanks to all the cars. More important than all of that, however, was a single cobble on the old stone lot. Lifting it up, I fished out a classy suit, a pair of large saddlebags, my trusty revolver, and my mask. I slid out of my dress, stashing it away in the bottom of my bag, and threw on the suit. After checking the rounds on my revolver, I fit the mask over my face, and took a deep breath. I moved silently back through the empty hallway. Just before reaching the open bank floor, I took a deep breath.

"Let's do this."

Moving back in the way I had come, it was easy to make my way unseen to the main lobby of the bank.

"Everypony get on the fucking ground!" I shouted, firing my gun once into the air. The dozen or so in the lobby immediately dropped. One of them began crying. "No phones, no alarms, I have enough to put a round in everyone here! You lot! Get the fuck out here! Away from the counters!"

I gestured for the tellers to come out. I was taking a huge risk being this open, but I needed at least one of them. One of the tellers, a red stallion with a candy cane-striped mane, held a keyring in the open as he came out.

"You! Candy-mane! Over here!" I motioned for him to come over. "Can you get into the vault?"

"Um, uh, y-yeah." He stammered, focusing more on the gun than me. "I have access to all the safes."

"Good. You stay here." I took a deep breath, before shooting one of the fire sprinklers. "Everypony else get the fuck out! Now! Get the fuck out of here now!"

The fire alarms began ringing, drowning out everything else. As people began fleeing the bank, I dragged the stallion with me into the back, towards the vault.

"Open the vault. I'm looking for a specific safe. You know where Schweinhurst's safe is?"

"The pig? Oh, if you're just robbing him, feel free, I voted for Carter." The stallion laughed, almost instantly at ease. He yanked open the immense vault door, then pulled a specific key from his ring. "Here, unit 758."

"Huh... thanks. Not a fan of the pig, huh?" I asked as I began looking for the safe in question. The key fit perfectly upon finding it.

"I have access to his account records, bastard takes bribes, I'm sure of it. Name's Aftershow Menagerie by the way."

"Pleasure meeting you." I rolled my eyes as the safe door opened, revealing the large stacks of bits inside, framing a curiously large jewelry box. This must be it. I started stuffing the money into my saddlebags. Taking the jewelry box, I opened it to find a large, ornate golden necklace with a gem cut to look like a balloon. "Alright, Aftershow, you got any idea what this is?"

"Not a clue, but I know a guy who might." Aftershow shrugged. "Want me to give him a call?"

"What?" I looked him over. This was a setup. It had to be. He was being way too helpful. "What's your deal?"

"I hate my job and we both hate the hog. I'd rather help you out than help either of the things you're hitting."

"That... makes sense. Alright. Come out back with me, I'm gonna need a believable cover." I nodded, throwing the box into my bag. We took off running, making our way to the back parking lot. "You got a phone?"

"Yeah, what do you need it for? It's cover?" Aftershow pulled out his phone as he asked.

"You're going to report the crime, I'm going to make it believable. Make the call when I signal you to."

"What's the sig~ah! FUCK!" Aftershow stumbled back as I punched him between the eyes, though he got the idea quickly and dialed the phone. "Hello?! Police!? F-fuck! There's been a robbery at the 1st City Bank!"

I quickly began ditching my loot and gear, dumping almost everything into a dumpster, only pulling a short dress free from my bag. With practiced ease, I slid out of my suit, tossed it with my gear, and slipped on the dress. I caught Aftershow staring right as I threw my mask in, then stared myself as he seamlessly lied.

"Yes, the robber forced me to open the safe. I was assaulted after the vault door opened and was dragged to safety by a client of mine at the bank. We're near the back entrance, taking cover behind a motorcar. Yes, the robber is armed. A revolver. No, I can't confirm anything else. Thank you. Yes, yes thank you! We'll stay behind cover until responders arrive, thank you." He grinned as he hung up. "Miss Dulcet, I'm surprised you bank with us."

Aftershow took the lead in talking to the cops, giving his own statement and politely dissuading them from talking to me.

"Come on now, she's clearly shaken by the whole event. She dragged me to safety, that's enough excitement for one day, don't you guys think?"

"Eh, less paperwork for us. If we need further statements, we'll give you a call." The beat cop shrugged. There was no excitement here, the robbery was over, why would he be interested. As he walked off, I sighed. Aftershow grinned.

"Wait right here, I'm going to quit, then we can head out."

"Why are you helping me?" I held him back. "You just met me."

"Well, you saved my life." Aftershow smiled genuinely. "And I'm not talking about my official statement."

"I... I did?" I blinked. This stallion had to be insane. I held a gun on him, I punched him.

"Yeah. You did, I'll explain later." Aftershow's smile turned to a sheepish grin. "You wouldn't happen to have a car, would you? I walk to get around."

Now it was my turn to smile. I nodded.

"Yeah, I'll pull it around while you go to quit, I'll be waiting for you back here."

Aftershow practically skipped back into the bank, while I moved over to my car, pulling it close to the dumpster I left my loot and gear in. Close enough that I could discretely levitate my bags back out and into the trunk of my car. I got a whiff right before I shut the trunk. Ugggh, everything there was getting a wash before it went back on my body. I frowned slightly. Not a single bit went into my bag this time around. Hopefully that necklace was worth what it took to get it.

I didn't have to wait long for Aftershow to come back out, practically hovering as he opened the passenger door.

"That happy to quit, huh?"

"I HATED that job. I only took it because I needed the money. I'm a circus performer, not a stuffy bank clerk." Aftershow jumped into the seat and closed the door in a single motion. "You gave me the kick I needed to finally quit, plus, I think I can help you more in the future."

"I can lie well enough on my own." I rolled my eyes. My car pulled away from the bank. "Aside from this appraiser you know, what skills do you even bring to the table, circus clown?"

"Well, I'll have you know that I've never been hit by anything, ever. My brothers all called it my 'uncanny dodge'." Aftershow said. "Plus, I can fix just about anything with the right amount of percussive maintenance."

"When I use equipment, it's delicate, I'm not letting you go around hitting shit to make it work." I protested, turning where Aftershow directed me to turn.

"Hey, does your radio work?" He asked without warning.

"No, it hasn't worked in years." I shook my head.

Aftershow slammed his hoof down on the radio. It crackled with static, before flaring to life with the current music. I looked at him in awe for a moment.

"And it'll work just as well during our next heist." Aftershow laughed. We were headed for Lower Manehatten, the rows of identical apartment buildings framed between gargantuan skyscrapers. Be they rich or poor, if someone lived downtown, they lived in one of these buildings.

I didn't even have time to notice that he had practically just invited himself into my work when he told me to stop the car. "We're here! An old friend of mine lives in apartment 593."

"Who is this friend, exactly?" I asked Aftershow while feeding bits into the meter. 10 bits for two hours, that was highway robbery.

"Escrow, we went to school together!" Aftershow explained. Did he always talk with that chipper tone? That might get annoying as time went on. "He's an insurance appraiser now, does a lot of work from home."

"And you trust him enough to bring him stolen jewelry to appraise?" I gagged as I opened my trunk, pulling out my revolver and the necklace case, then quickly closing my trunk. Great, I had to clean out the whole trunk. This is why I normally hid loot BEHIND dumpsters.

"Absolutely. Escrow isn't much of a fan of the police either, dealing with insurance claims from them breaking shit all the time." Aftershow nodded, walking up to the door and buzzing a number in. "Escrow! It's me! Come on, buddy, we're celebrating tonight, I just quit my job!"

"WHAT?!" A slightly nasal voice came from the speaker. "Aftershow, you didn't! How are you gonna afford your place now?"

"Let me in and I'll explain!" Aftershow laughed. The door unlocked with a buzz.

"Fine, I'll lecture you in person." Escrow's exasperation was clear in his voice. Aftershow nodded to me, motioning for me to follow him in. Five flights of stairs did wonders in reminding me why I loved my winch setup.

Apartment 593 was the last one on the floor, a plain, unassuming but reasonably well-to-do exterior. It matched the nerdy looking green pegasus who opened the door, peering out at the pair of us through a pair of thick-lensed glasses.

"Aftershow, who is this? You didn't say anything about having company." Escrow looked at me, eyeing my revolver nervously.

"This is Dulc~" Aftershow began

"I'm Swan Song." I cut Aftershow off. "Can we come inside?"

"I, w-well, since you're with Aftershow, I suppose." Escrow opened the door. The interior was nice, almost homey, without feeling cramped. He clearly lived alone, if the lack of sofa was anything to go off of. "Is this to do with Aftershow quitting his job?"

"Yes, actually. Aftershow tells me you're an appraiser. Well, I have something I need identified and I need you to promise that you won't tell anyone you saw it, understand?" I said evenly. Escrow gulped, looking between me and Aftershow.

"I promise, Escrow, I trust her and I trust you." Aftershow encouraged.

"Yes, yes I suppose I can agree to those terms, Miss Song. What do you have for me?" Escrow nodded. I pulled out the case, revealing the necklace. Escrow's face lost color.

"So you know what this is then." I set the necklace down on a coffee table.

"Where did you get this?" Escrow's voice quivered.

"The pig was keeping it in my bank." Aftershow said. "So what is it?"

"This is Laughter. An Element of Harmony. One of the most powerful artifacts in Equestria." Escrow gently picked up the necklace in his wings. "How did Schweinhurst get this? Where are the others?"

"If that's an Element... I'm more concerned with why Schweinhurst has it." I looked at Escrow. "Can you find the others?"

"I mean, with enough time, probably." Escrow nodded. "But they aren't going to be easy to get even if I can find them."

"Well, that's what thieves like me are good for." I looked to Aftershow. "You still want in?"

"Just makes me want in more, and, of course, we'll need to cut Escrow in." Aftershow smiled at his friend.

"Oh no, I can't get involved in anything criminal." Escrow's eyes widened, he shook his head.

"You don't have to be out stealing with us, you can run support. You know, eyes in the sky. You love hacking into cameras." Aftershow put a hoof on Escrow's shoulder, looking at me with a dopey grin. "I stand by his skill on a computer."

"Well, if we are going after this, then you two lay low for now. I've got a regular work trip to Canterlot coming up, no heisting with me until I get back. Escrow, you work on finding the other Elements, Aftershow, think you can find us a safehouse? It needs to be inconspicuous, out of the way. Don't worry about the price, I'll take care of that. Think you can manage?"

Aftershow saluted.

"Yes ma'am!"

"Alright. Now, come on, I'll drive you home."

Author's Note

Earned 0 bits for completing the contract. Did not steal any loose items and cash.

Picked up "Element of Laughter"
5 Elements Remain

__________
The line sung in the Midnight Escape comes from the song Dare Master by the Wasteland Wailers, the musical team of Overmare Studios
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j-0cgHsPIv0&pp=ygUdZGFyZSBtYXN0ZXIgd2FzdGVsYW5kIHdhaWxlcnM%3D