Humanitys Last Stand Against Harmony

Chapter 1: 0.0 Pony's have arrived.

No one had expected what happened that fateful day. No one would have guessed that humanity would fall that easily, but it happened. There is no denying it.

The invasion began on Easter, a holiday where we are meant to celebrate. People's lives were changed for good that Easter. It was about six in the morning and I was awake, just staring at the ceiling, thinking about life and what mine meant. All of a sudden, trumpets sounded and I heard voices yelling out on the street. "Attention humans. Everypony is to remain calm and leave their house with their hooves above their heads."

Did I hear that right? First of all, everyPONY? What the hell? And then hooves above heads? Not to mention they said "humans", the only thing that could talk like that would be pony from Equestria! Despite wanting it to be true as a brony, I knew that it couldn't be possible. Could this be a prank?

I decided to see for myself and got out of bed. My morning head caused me to sway from dizziness for a few moments. Ignoring the feelings of tiredness and the beckoning of my bed, I made my way to the window on the other side through all the dirty laundry all over the floor of my room. Opening the blinds, I peaked out into the street, and nearly shat myself. My jaw hung open in disbelief at the sight that had found its way into my neighborhood.

In the middle of the road were two rows of ponies, some unicorns, some pegasi, all with the look of men about to do something terrible. I looked at the other houses, and it turned out that other people were already making their way onto the street, unsure how to react to this strange new appearance. I grabbed some jeans and my Fluttershy t-shirt, the only clean shirt I had (Talk about good timing) before making my own way onto the street. The dual lines of ponies seemed to stretch all the way down the street.

A burly pegasus, his mane and coat dyed the normal royal colours of white or grey coats and blue manes, trotted down between the lines of ponies. This guy gave off an aura as being in charge, no doubt.

"All families and loners (yes, he really said that) are to come with us to this city's town square for trial. Any humans that refuse will be beaten until we have an agreement." he smiled to himself at the thought of that. Half the people on the street were shocked to hear a giant horse with wings talk, and just stood there dumbstruck.

"Why are all of you hesitating? Am I not being simple enough for you stupid warmongers?" Alright, however educated this guy was, he obviously was biased. Since I was most likely the one with the most coherent train of thought out of everyone in the street, I decided to speak on everybody's behalf.

"I'm sorry, but who the hell are you? And what do ponies want with earth?" I said while glaring at him from my front door. In response, he glared back harder. He started to trot right up to my gate when he saw my shirt.

"Why, human, do you have a picture of the great bearer of kindness on the rags on your chest?" his look gave me the notion that he feared me a little, maybe thinking that the shirt made me powerful somehow. I just went with it and acted like an ass. Typical me.

"I hold the great portrait of Fluttershy to rebel all thoughts of evil and war from those who dear to threaten my friends and family!" I exclaimed with bravado, waving my arms over the people of my neighborhood. His expression became blank, unable to comprehend the fact that I even knew the name of the great bearer of kindness. I tried to push my luck and see what chaos I could pull off. "I wish to be lead to Princess Celestia, so we can discuss a peace treaty! No one, er... pony, is to be hurt until further notice! What say you, brave soldier?"

I think I pulled that off pretty damn well because he was speechless. I wasn't sure why they were really here, so guess his word was as good as any.

"Ahh... well... I guess we could... can they do that?" He turned to one of the ponies standing in line. He looked equally baffled. "Umm... I guess so...?" The poor pony pulled a face that looked like he was choosing between life and death.

"Uh... well then... very well! Human, you shall be the representative of your people! Follow me to the princess!" with that, he turned away from my fence. I walked out my gate, and I patted the fencepost as if saying goodbye, which I might very well be doing. I follow the pony in charge between the two rows of unicorns and pegasi, getting cautious looks from them and all my neighbors. I just gave them an empty shrug and walked down the line.

Chapter 2: 0.5 hours since ponies arrived.

Sometime later we had walked through my street and were now walking down the middle of Main Street. I attempted some small talk with the giant glob of pony muscle. "So, is the weather in Equestria nice this time of year?" He said nothing and simply just stared ahead. Born a soldier, die a soldier, be an ass like a soldier; I'm guessing that's his motto. "Well I must say, you are very friendly. Probably because you come from a land of sunshine, lollipops and rainbows. Must be fun." I know it seems that I may as well be signing my death certificate, but I couldn't help myself.

"We are nearly there. Remember to be silent, human, until addressed." He said in a tone of great patience. He must have dealt with a lot of rookies. I took his advice, not wanting to die until I figured what the hell was going on. We soon came in view of a big, pink, tent set up in the middle of the road. The sun was shining more brightly on it than anything else.

We stopped outside the tent, and Giant (that's my nickname for him) began talking to a guard at the entrance. After the conversation, the guard looked at me before turning and entering the tent. We stood there for about a minute before he returned, nodding at me. I didn't quite understand until Giant pushed me forward with his hoof. I had to enter the tent of the sun princess alone, and that could be bad or good depending on Celestia's mood.

The interior of the tent was filled with balloons, streamers, cake, and other goodies covering tables, which wasn't what I was expecting at all. I had a pretty good idea what it meant though. Sure enough I heard an upbeat voice exclaim, "Surprise! Hello there evil war alien! Twilight said that because you were evil and evil and stuff that you wouldn't like me and probably try to kill me, but I hope that you are a nice evil alien and we can be friends! Until the princess kills you, that is." The infamous pink pony smiled brightly, hoping I would do the same, and indeed I did. You just can't be near the element of laughter without smiling, it was like magic! Oh, wait; it is magic.

"Wow! This is amazing! Thanks Pinkie!" Those were the only words I said, before rushing over to one of the tables and stuffing myself with cake. What can I say? I'm a sucker for party food.

"WOO! PARTY TIME!" Pinkie Pie shouted, before turning on some music and joined me with the cake. If I had looked around, I would probably have seen the most dumbfounded faces ever. I knew that there were ponies behind me, because they started talking.

"Well, this is, I dunno, unexpected? Umm... princess... should we stop him?" that careful, knowledge hungry voice could only come from one pony. However, I was to busy with the cake to care. "Hmm. He certainly seems harmless. Let him have his fun." That voice one can not simply ignore. I stopped before turning, and I was right. Princess Celestia, with the other element bearers were all staring at me like I was from the zoo or something.

"Oh shi- I mean, apologies... your majesty. How rude of me to not address you first!" I said while giving a little bow. Twilight looked shocked with my sudden change in behavior, but I got that enough from humans. Celestia simply giggled with the utmost grace before trotting over and having some cake herself. After I remembered why I was there, I dropped the polite tone, but only a little bit. These were my idols I was talking to. "Now, would you be kind enough to answer my question. What are you doing on my planet and what are you going to do to us?"

The princess smiled at me with grace and a mouth full of cake (How?). She swallowed her mouthful before answering. "Why, I'm only here to put this poor race out of it's misery."

I nearly shat myself a second time. Ponies. Were. Here. To. Kill. All. HUMANS. Why in the fuck did it have to be me?