Humanitys Last Stand Against Harmony

Those ponies out in the hallway were long gone, scared of the terrible magic that makes heads go pop. I had to get out of here because they were no doubt looking help, and with them all over the street there was a very good chance I didn't have long. Stepping over the bodies, I noticed out the window that the streets were empty.

Stepping out onto the street I found the place to be a ghost town minus the ghosts. In the distance I could hear the sounds of what I think were drums, with no other real lead I headed down in that direction. Staying near the houses in case a pegasus came flying over head, I sneaked down the street having a few close calls from a couple of Earth ponies walking past (Sneak Level Up).

At the end of the road was the town park which was currently filled with unicorns who were using instance magic for some kind of wall that had something moving behind it. To get a better view I headed to the local pub so I could see from the roof. As I opened I was meet with a barrel in my face. "You're not one of them. How did you escape?" It was an old raspy voice, no doubt Roger who had been running the old place since he got it from his father when he was only fifteenth.

"Roger? It's me. Remember? I got drunk last Wednesday and sang "Fuck You I'm Drunk"?"  That bloody great song seemed to jog his memory. Or the fact that I did break half the bands equipment and what-not, but it was junk anyway.

"Oh. You. Fine, get in here, you don't want to join those in the middle. Be thankful you weren't here when the last lot got burned." If what I just heard was correct then there were people in the field. And he said they were getting burned. Good fucking god. I raced through the back and made my way to the roof, the view I had was perfect, showing me the whole place and a good glance at the people trapped.

There was six groups of unicorns surrounding the walls, keeping a certain part of it up while leaving some more open then others. A big wooden ramp went above the trapped people and standing on that was Princess Celestia, charging something big with her horn. The people them selves were running into the walls and each other, looking for any means of escape. Some had even started digging at the ground. There was also pegasi sitting in random places keeping an eye on things and making sure nothing went wrong. "It's a giant barbeque." I thought out loud.

"Yep." Answered Roger, "And the second meal is about to be served up." I could tell what he meant, Celestia's horn was nearly blinding with the power coming from it; and getting brighter.

Knowing I couldn't stand here I turned to Roger. "We have got to do something. We can't just leave these people to die."

He answer may as well of been 'Fuck you I'm old.' "And how do we do that hero? There is only two of us. And unless you pull out a tank that reflects what voodoo their using, I'm not taking a step outside my pub."

Celestia's horn was nearly as bright as the sun it self now. "But there has-" I was cut short by Celestia. "And now humans, your salvation is at hand!" A bright beam shot into the sky, and it was damn obvious what would happen when it came back down. I panicked. People were about to die and there was nothing I could do. Expect one thing that might work.

"Hey gramps, get the loudest speaker you got and here and a Psy CD. Pronto." I was holding on to crazy like it was a teddy bear, and it held back tight.

"Kid, I got what you need but I don't see what this is gonna do." he sat down in a chair, tired from lifting the big box up here. "Thanks mate. I owe you a drink when this is over." I jammed in the CD and set the music to what I wanted. Prepare to amazed at how much of an ass I am.

I took a shot with my shotgun at the platform beneath the princess while yelling "HEY!" and catching the attention of everybody/pony in the park area, even the unicorns if only slightly. I turned the music on, stood on the table and did the only thing I could think of.

"Gangnam style!"

I danced like I had never danced before. The unicorns stopped their spell, pegasi fell out of the sky, and the princess face-hoofed. The people took this as a once in a lifetime opportunity and fled towards the buildings. The pegasi picked themselves off the floor, stopping their laughing as they realized what just happened. At first I smiled happily, but then screams came from the crowd. All the ponies were now on a killing spree, using every magical force they had to kill as many humans. I had got then out of the barbeque and launched into space towards the sun (not literally).

"OK, not what I had in mind, Come on gramps, we need to leave." I turned to find the old guy had died of a heart attack caused from laughing. "Oh, for fucks sake."