Tangled Wings

I woke up to loud banging at the castle doors. It sounded urgent but then it wasn’t unusual for Derpy to show up in the middle of the night. She had before. I rushed to the window, realizing as I did I wanted it to be her.

She left the castle so fast this evening it felt wrong. She didn’t look sick, she looked haunted or upset. I didn’t know what happened, everything seemed fine at dinner. As soon as I told her my reasons for dating her she looked shocked, almost pained. I wish I had told her what I planned but Shining’s question threw me off.

I should have told her I loved her before she left. Whatever was bothering her at least she’d know how I feel. But my grand gesture had failed, I was just too unnerved with my family staring at me. I hadn’t anticipated that. I hoped to tell her as soon as I could.

My thoughts of Derpy were shattered as the pony outside bellowed.

“Princess Twilight Sparkle, come outside and talk to me right now!”

I bit my lip. I didn’t know who the pony was or what I had done to upset her but she sounded angry. It wasn’t easy being a Princess, sometimes even going the right thing could look like the wrong thing. When ponies worry their Princess is doing the wrong thing they get scared. Some of them get angry.

“Twilight?” Spike called from the hallway. “What’s going on?”

“Looks like some pony is upset. I’m going to talk to her.” I walked past him into the hallway, heading towards the door. He quickly followed.

“Do you want to wake Shining? You know, just in case.” Spike placed his hands up to his mouth, trying to look smaller.

“This is my responsibility, Spike. My brother and Cadence have their own kingdom to worry about. I don’t need to involve him in mine.” I strode through the hallway only to nearly walk right into my brother.

“You want me to take care of this Twilight? She sounds mad and mad can be dangerous.” He looked stern and imposing.

“It’s fine, thank you for offering though.”

“Great, I'm heading back to bed then.” The imposing stance crumbled to an exhausted one and he fled down the hallway towards his room.

“Guess he trusts you?” Spike asked, staring at his disappearing form.

“I think he’s just tired,” I giggled. Flurryheart had been keeping both of them on their hooves as of late. Every time they sat down it looked like they were forcing themselves to keep from collapsing. I couldn’t blame him. She can be many hooffuls.

I reset myself and opened the door. The pony was still out there, waiting in the dark. She didn’t look armed but attacks could come from anypony. She definitely looked familiar though.

“Hello?” I said as I left my cozy home to join her in the cold.

“Twilight you have some explaining to do.” The pony hissed as she trotted closer. She sounded upset but not dangerously so. The lights from the windows filled in the details of her form. It was Cherry Berry, the town balloon operator.. or was it pilot?

“Cherry? What’s wrong?” I sighed in relief. She was always very level headed and never violent.

“My roommate came home in tears! She cried her eyes out thinking her girlfriend might think she’s stupid! You have to fix this.” Her tone was sharp, her eyes cold. She was defending a friend and I feared I knew who it was.

“And your roommate is…?” I braced myself for the blow.

“Derpy, your girlfriend.” She gave me a blank stare. I knew it would be. Even braced for it, my heart still ached and the pain ran throughout my body.

I upset Derpy, the pony I loved. It was nothing like upsetting a friend, you could just apologize the next day and most of them were reasonable enough to accept. This was world ending. The pony I wanted to see more and more lately was hurt and it was my fault. This couldn’t wait til morning. This had to be fixed now.

“Oh sweet Celestia, what did I do?!”

“What did you say about her at the dinner? Come on Twilight I expected more tact than this.” Cherry wasn’t letting me off the hook lightly. Or at all.

“I I told her she was good at loving and communicating and was very determined.” It had been nerve racking! All I had to say was that I loved her but it was much worse than the last time I tried.

“Aaaaaand?!” Cherry was practically inches from my snout. Her eyes bore into me. Did she know I messed up my moment? Had she seen the work I put into the grand speech I was planning?

“Uh well I …” I stammered. I didn’t want to tell her the truth, not without telling Derpy first. She had the right to know first.

“Twilight … don’t take this the wrong way but you are the dumbest smart pony I’ve ever met. You called her special.” She glared at me. I waited for some sort of other insult to come but nothing came.

“Yeah she is spec-“ Suddenly it clicked. “No, not that kind of special. Oh no!”

“Yup.”

“For Celestia’s sake, how could I have been so careless? And my family too…” I felt like the world was pulled out from under me. I finally figured out, with Spike’s help, the feeling I felt for her was love and was real and now I could have ended things between us with a simple mistake.

“She’s heard that word all her life. It wasn’t good. You have to make this right somehow.” Cherry placed a hoof on my shoulder. “You’re the only one that can.”

“Ok,” I said, taking off in the air. Her place wasn’t too far from the castle, I could be there in-

“Twilight?”

“Huh?”

“The door’s unlocked and I think I will see a friend tonight.” Cherry looked up at me with a pleading face. Did she think I was planning…? Was that what it would take to fix this?

“O-ok,” I said to her and to my own question. If my mare was hurting from something I did, I would make sure she understood my feelings for her. One way or another.

Even though I planned to wake Derpy up and Cherry was “out” I still opened the door as quietly as I could. It didn’t feel right to just barge right in, whether it felt warranted or not.

The door creaked open with a sound that set my tail on end. It was late enough that most ponies in Ponyville probably heard it. Still I had to make this right, I plunged into the darkened apartment hoping there wasn’t much to trip on.

There was. I was accosted by a chair that tangled my hooves, then the table hit my flanks as I stood backed up. The ottoman took me out and I fell into the wall, then struck my head on a low hanging picture. I felt like my girlfriend for a moment. Luckily all the noise didn’t wake her. Wait, I wanted her to wake.

“Derpy?” I whispered as I closed in on the room with the snoring mare. There was no response.

“Derpy?” I repeated a little louder, but only got a snort in return. I opened my mouth to call a third time when a brown ball sprung from the bed, smacking into my face. It clung there over my eyes and grabbed my ears. I think it was hissing, but I couldn’t hear it over my own shouting.

I wrestled around try to get it off me but it was firmly stuck. Whatever it was began tickling my nose with its tail in some sort of attack! I laughed and shouted while I wrestled with the unrelenting foe.

The lights turned on as I bonked into a bedpost. I fell next to the awakened mare, whom I couldn’t see due to the squirrel shaped silhouette over my eyes.

“Twilight? What are you doing with Nutzo?” I heard her voice above me.

“Uhh… playing?” I wasn’t sure what the squirrel was trying to do. It eventually let go, chittering at me and making all sorts of strange paw gestures.

“He said you tried to attack me in my sleep. That’s silly Nutzo, Princess Twilight doesn’t sneak into ponies rooms and bite their necks to suck the friendship out. It’s a myth.” She looked sternly at the squirrel who rolled his eyes and hopped onto a bookshelf.

I couldn’t think of any pony that thought I snuck in and stole friendship. Was I out of touch with my populace? Was sneaking in something I needed to address publicly to set ponies at ease?

“What are you doing here Twilight?” She crossed her forehooves and looked at me with disapproval. She looked kind of like a mother at that moment, which unnerved me to the core. Not that she wouldn’t be good at it but I was nowhere near ready for that.

“You left my castle really upset. I talked to Cherry and she told me what happened. I couldn’t go back to sleep knowing I offended you.” I sat next to her, feeling the closeness I’d had for just over a month. I didn’t want to lose that.

“Oh.. uh.. yeah I I started feeling like the world was laughing at me calling me dumb. Then I felt super sick and sad. But but it wasn’t true right? You don’t think I’m dumb right?” She looked at me with large hopeful eyes, I felt my heart breaking again. To think I ever let her believe anything like that was unbearable.

“You are the nicest, sweetest, most caring and beautiful pony I know. You aren’t the same sort of smart I am but you don’t need to be. I know books, lots of information, and theories. I know how magic works, how to organize things for everypony and how to coordinate to get things done. It makes ponies feel relieved, but not happy.” I took a breath hoping that would sink in. Then I looked back into those golden pools staring back at me and switched gears.

“You make ponies happy, Derpy. Everypony, well almost almost everypony, is happier when you’re around. You can bring everyone smiles like Pinkie only you don’t have to try so hard. You know what to say when ponies are feeling sad or angry. You tell ponies they need to hear in a way everypony understands. I can’t do that. And if that doesn’t make you super smart, I don’t know what smart is.” I never left that gaze, I held it and matched it by placing my hoof on hers.

She swallowed a couple times and looked around the dimly lit room. I didn’t know what else I could have said but, knowing her, I needed to give her time to process. Eventually she looked back at me, her eyes filling with tears.

“You think I’m smart?” It came out as a whisper through a harsh throat.

“I told you before on our second date and everything afterward led to the same conclusion. There is nothing dumb about you, just different and a needed different. I-“ I had to tell her but I felt like my mouth went completely dry. I didn’t know why I was so nervous, we shared so much lately but still the words were like pushing a boulder up a hill. Maybe it was just a bigger step for me than even I understood.

“You?” she whispered, cocking her head.

“I love.. that about you.” No that wasn’t it. Damn you deflection, I had to tell her properly so she wouldn’t misunderstand.

“Thank you, I hoped you didn’t think I was-“

“That’s not it! I mean that’s not all.” I felt like salespony, like Flim or Flam. “What I mean is ..,I love you.”

She blinked. Then blinked again, slightly shaking her head. They looked at me with a face filled with awe.

“Uhh did I hear you right?” She asked finally, barely audible.

“I said I love you.” This time I couldn’t hold back my own joy at the prospect. I giggled and held her close.

“Ok, I think this is a dream. You said I was super smart and told me you loved me. You have to tell me if it’s a dream right? Dreams have to.” She hugged me close despite her strange belief. I giggled again. It felt so good to be held by the pony you loved, I never experienced something so simple and pure.

“That’s a police sting, honey. And this isn’t a dream.” For some reason at that moment a thousand happy butterflies filled my body and I thought I was going to float out of the bed with her.

“Twilight you’re acting funny even for a dream Twilight.” The butterflies seemed to pass to her. She giggled and held me tighter.

“I’m not a dream!” I pulled her tail to prove it. Well not hard but a playful pull.

“You’re not a dream?” It seemed to work because she became very still again. “And you really do love me?”

“No and yes!” This time she sat very solid and closed her eyes for some reason. Maybe she was trying to make it a dream? I wasn’t sure.

“Uhh are you ok?” After a few seconds of her weird meditative stance I was beginning to get worried. This was her reaction to me admitting my feelings? Becoming a statue?!

“I’m waiting,” she said, still calmly sitting looking at peace with the world.

“For? You’re not asleep so you’re not going to wake up any more.” I was giggling again, I couldn’t help it. Something about knowing I was in love with a pony made me feel like a little filly that found everything Derpy did funny.

“When a pony tells you they love you, they’re supposed to kiss you afterwards. That’s what it said in the books Rose read to me.” She lifted one eye, glancing at my reaction. “You said you loved me … four times I think. So you have to give me four kisses.”

“You! I will shower you with kisses, how about that?” I didn’t give her time to respond. I glomped her as she had done many times to me. We rolled around the bed, as I gave her as many kisses as she could handle.

Some part of my brain wondered. Is this it? Is this where we start… being intimate? I didn’t know if I was ready for that or she was. At the time I didn’t care. I just enjoyed being near her.

Eventually things settled down and she rested her head on my chest. Things didn’t get as heated as I was uncertain about but the knowledge that they could made me wonder if we needed to talk about it soon.

“Twilight? Do you have to go?” She asked as she placed her face in my floof. I could see the redness of her face through patches in my fur.

“No… not really.” It felt like the perfect place to be, right next to her.

“Your family won’t be mad that you left the castle and stayed, would they?” Her voice shook slightly.

“No. No, they will be much happier knowing you’re ok. They were worried when you left so quickly. They don’t think you’re dumb either by the way. They know you’re the good kind of special. If anything bothers you like that again though please just tell me. I don’t want to hurt you.” It was an uneasy feeling, knowing that a simple word misunderstood could have taken all this joy away from me in an instant. I shivered at the thought of what could have happened had Cherry Berry not come to warn me.

“Are you cold? I I can use my wings to warm you.. like before.” She encased me in her wings and the warmth increased. I feared the intimacy would start while at the same time desperately wished it would.

“You uh know we could-“

“Zzzzzzzz.” My offer was cut off by her sweet snoring sounds. It was late and it was a trying day for us both. Whatever happened next we could face it together.