Tangled Wings

“It is nice to meet you, your majesty,” I said, bowing to the small squirrel in front of me. It sighed and placed its little paws over its face. “Did-did I do it wrong again?”

“It’s ok Derpy,” I heard a voice say. I looked hard at the squirrel. Nutzo had never spoken before and I didn’t even see his lips move. Maybe he can talk with his mind.

“Derpy?” the voice said. The squirrel pointed behind me and I found Cherry Berry, my roommate, watching my practice.

“Hi Cherry! I’m just getting ready to meet Twilight’s parents and family.” I couldn’t believe she wanted me to meet them so soon. It was only 8 weeks since we started dating but she said since they were coming they should meet me.

“I know,” giggled the earth pony. “You’ve been practicing for the past two days. That poor squirrel has to be tired of being Twilight’s dad by now.”

“Are you tired Nutzo?” I asked the deflated looking critter. He nodded. “Sorry, I’ll get you some nuts and then you can take a nap.”

My new pet popped out of the tiny throne I made him and leapt onto my back. He was so graceful, nothing like when I jumped somewhere. He landed between my wings and we wandered into the kitchen. One fresh dish of nuts later and he was ready for his squirrel nap.

“You have to be careful, Derpy, you don’t want to over feed him.” Cherry came in as Nutzo curled into his sleep ball. “You’d have to change his name to Fatzo.”

“But he likes nuts.” I watched his little face and noticed how much happier he was with a big bowl of food.

“But if he gets too many he’ll get sick, or fat.” She took the bag of nuts from me and shook them. “Only feed him when you eat. That way it will be easier to remember.”

“Ok.” Having a pet was hard. I never knew how much work went into it. You had to feed them but only a certain amount, you had to clean them but not too much. Luckily squirrels know when to exercise and do it themselves. I didn’t have to take them on walks like other pets.

“Let’s give Nutzo a rest and you can practice on me. Ok?” Cherry placed the bag back on the shelf and sat down by the table. I practiced with her this morning, she was good at telling me what I was getting wrong but sometimes she felt too good at it. At least Nutzo was quieter.

“Ok, but I only have a half an hour until I meet them.”

“A half an hour?! That’s barely enough time to get you dressed and presentable!” She popped out of the chair and pushed me to my room.

“I’m sorry! I didn’t know!”

“It’s ok. We’ll just get you ready while you practice.” She started looking through my clothes in my closet. “So name all the members of Twilight’s family.”

“There’s Twilight, Spike, Shiny Armor and Princess Candance. Then her parents are King Nightlight and Queen Velvet Sparkle.” I had been practicing the names since Twilight told me them. I didn’t want her to feel embarrassed if I got them wrong.

“Closer than you’ve been all week. But remember, Twilight’s parents are not royalty. They aren’t a king or queen even though Twilight is a princess.” She threw a few choice clothes on my bed. I hoped I had the right outfit. “And their names are Nightlight and Velvet Twilight. Her brother is Shining Armor and he’s married to Princess Cadence. Don’t forget Flurryheart.”

“Oh right! Little starfish!” Twilight had shown me the cutest picture ever of her niece. All wrapped up in a starfish coat with just her head sticking out. I couldn’t wait to meet her, and all of them. Meeting her family made me feel like I was really important to Twilight.

“Flurryheart,” corrected pony trying to stuff a dress over my head. Nutzo never scolded me like that. “Also you don’t have to bow to Twilight’s parents or call them your majesty. Ok?”

“Ok… I keep forgetting that part.” It didn’t make sense to me. Twilight was a princess and princesses come from kings and queens, at least they used to.

There was a lot of shoving and pushing as I was rushed to the mirror. Cherry quickly powdered my face and I only sneezed once. I looked beautiful, so pretty I didn’t even know it was me in the mirror. It felt like a different Derpy. She was the one that looked pretty, she was the one going to meet Twilight’s parents, not me. Maybe other Derpy wouldn’t mess up or was smarter than me. But the mirror held that Derpy and I was pushed towards the door.

“Are you going to be ok walking to the castle yourself?” Cherry asked, looking around.

“It’s ok I’ve got Nut-“ I was going to say Nutzo but the squirrel was asleep in his little home. He was really helpful lately, making sure I got to the right place and keeping me from bumping into things. “I’ll be ok. I’ll just walk there.”

“Probably a good idea.” Cherry nodded.

The whole way I went through the conversation I had with Twilight in my mind. It was just a dinner. Just meeting new friends. She said her family was coming, not to meet me, just to gather together. I guess that’s what families do. Is that why she asked me to come? Does she see me as family? Or is it something else?

I talked to Doc about it. He said, “I think she’s just trying it out. From what you told me, it’s possible, though not definitive, that you could be her first girlfriend. If so, she’s never introduced one to her family before. It’s possible she could be gauging her family’s reaction or just trying to see how well you fit in. But of course that’s from a scientist’s perspective.”

Rose said he sounded too cold and calculating and thought Twilight was probably just really excited to be dating me. I wanted I believe that one more. As much as I love that idea it’s hard to imagine a super excited, bouncy Twilight. Especially one that’s super bouncy to see me. But she had been pretty excited when I came over lately. Does she really feel like that?

“Derpy!” I heard someone call out. I looked around and found my fellow mail mare, well griffin.

“Hi Derpy, are you going to Twilight’s too?!” Gabby ran up to me, all her feathers stuck out in excitement. She was dressed really pretty. I wondered if Cherry helped her too.

“Yeah, there’s a dinner she asked me to go to… with her family.” I should be more excited, but I felt so nervous. It was one of the scariest things I could think of.

“Spike asked me to come too! Isn’t that great?! Meeting his adoptive pony family! It’s like he wants us to be married already! Or is that too much to think about! Oh he’s so sweet and things are going so well. Thank you so much for helping him and me!” Gabby hugged me, it was nice to be thanked for once. Though they really got each other together, I just delivered a note.

“Aren’t you nervous?” I asked as we started walking again.

“I’m terrified! But it’s exciting too! Like I don’t want them to be disappointed by me, but then it’s really only Spike that cares about that. As long as he’s happy, I’m happy.” She started to push me a little and I looked at her in confusion. The castle was in the other direction, I had passed right by it apparently.

“I didn’t think of it that way. As long as I make Twilight happy it should be fine!” I started to feel a lot better. I wasn’t good at impressing ponies but Twilight still liked me. So I shouldn’t worry about her family liking me, maybe they were like Twilight.

“Yeah, and here we are!” Gabby pointed at the castle and I felt my body shudder. I guess I was still nervous.

“Hi Gabby!” Spike shouted as he opened the door. I was too frozen to move.

“Spike!” She lifted him up and kissed his cheek. Spike turned pretty red, like a disco ball… if it was red.

“Oh, hey Derpy, Twilight’s inside with Mom and Dad. Come on in.” He waved a claw in and grabbed Gabby’s claw.

I trailed them a little ways. It was weird, normally being in the Princess’s castle and seeing her made me want to spring through the roof. Twilight told me to stop jumping every time I was here, she was worried I might hurt myself. But this time, I felt more like hiding. I mess up so many things, I didn’t want this to be one of them.

The dining hall was filled with laughter and food. All the Sparkles were there. I saw the big white and blue one, was that her father?! He was so tall! If he was then the pink Pegasus must be her mother. I didn’t know she had a pegasus mom. Maybe that’s why she was a princess.

I walked over to him, my steps a bit stumbly. I was about to bow but remembered my training. “How do you do Mr. Sparkle? I’m Derpy Hooves, your daughter’s girlfriend. Don’t worry I’ll keep her safe.”

I put on my most determined look. Her father looked at me like I had three heads. It matched the amount of heads I saw on him. I shook out my eyes and they focused again. That’s when I noticed him laughing.

“Oh Twily, your girlfriend is too much. I can see why you like her. Very sincere.” He patted me on the head playfully. “I’m not my dad. I’m Twilight’s older brother, Shining Armor. Dad’s over there.”

“Oh…” I said feeling all my bravery leave me. I messed up again. I glanced nervously at Twilight, was she making that disappointed face? I hated that.

Luckily she was smiling when I saw her. She looked radiant. Like the world was made just for her and she was alive with an excitement she never showed me before. Her family was really important to her.

She walked over to me, placing a wing on my back and pulling me close. It was amazing to see how much more relaxed she was with her family around.

“It’s ok, Derpy, Shining is a big lunk. Come on, let’s meet my parents.” She helped guide me over to them and it felt like we were floating together. She looked more sparkly somehow. It fit her perfectly, she is Twilight Sparkle after all.

“Mom, Dad, this is Derpy.” She said to two very plain looking ponies. Neither of them looked like they were related to royalty at all. They looked like a lot of parents I met before.

“Nice to meet you,” they said, just as cheerfully as Twilight did. I couldn’t help but bow. It was part of my practice, even though it wasn’t supposed to be.

“Nice to meet you too, your majesties.” Oops! I did it again and said the wrong thing. They laughed with Twilight. I tried laughing too, but there was a feeling like they might be laughing at me. I tried to ignore it but it was really loud.

“Oh, Derpy…” sighed my princess with a lot lighter tone than she normally had.

“S-sorry.”

“It’s fine.” Her dad laughed. “I don’t know how many ponies a day bow when meeting me nowadays. But your majesty, that’s a new one.”

“How about we eat this delicious meal that Twilight and Spike worked so hard on?” her mother said, pointing to the large table full of food. It was filled with all sorts of food that made my tummy groan a little. It reminded me that I forgot to eat today. Sometimes my stomach doesn’t want food, it bounces all over instead. I didn’t like that.

This time, with Twilight’s wing over me, it didn’t hurt anymore. We walked wing in wing to the table and Twilight let me sit right next to her. It felt wonderful, like I was part of the family already.

I looked down the table and saw Gabby with Spike. She looked like I felt, glowing with excitement and pride. I didn’t know what griffin families were like but she sure seemed to like the princess’s.

“So Derpy,” I heard a deep voice ask. I looked around and found Twilight’s dad looking at me. “What do you see in our daughter?”

“Daaad, don’t ask her that. It’s embarrassing.” Twilight’s face turned red and she looked at me with a kind of shy look. “You don’t have to answer him.”

Her father laughed. It was a nice deep laugh. The kind of laugh I’d always imagined a father would have when teasing his daughter. I found myself standing up.

“Twilight is the best pony I know. She’s kind, loving and patient. Even before we started going out, she’d always help me when I got stuck or made sure I was ok when I got hurt. She’s also really cute…” I felt my cheeks flush and sat back down.

The table went silent, most of them stared at each other wide eyed. I wasn’t sure if that was a good thing or not. But to me it was all true. It was how I felt and I had no problem telling any pony that.

I felt a wet spot on my cheek and softness. I turned to find Twilight smiling with red cheeks. Did she just kiss my cheek?

“Wow…” Mama Twilight said finally. “It looks like you found a good mare, Twily.”

“So tell us,” Shiny Armor poked his sister with his hoof and lifted an eyebrow. “What do you like about Derpy?”

“Well, uhh”, Twilight looked a little nervous. Her mane started to curl and she looked around at everypony else but me. I waited until she finished so I could kiss her cheek. “She’s thoughtful and knows how to show her feelings well. And uh she tries real hard even if she doesn’t fully succeed. And I-I, uh, l-love having her around. Um.. she’s very special.”

My smile fell. I still gave her a kiss on the cheek but when I was done something didn’t feel right. The way that she said “special” made me feel uncomfortable. It felt like I knew what it was supposed to mean but it didn’t mean that.

“Well she’s definitely special to you Twily,” Shiny laughed.

There it was again. My gut twisted and I wanted to be sick. Why was that word so… wrong?

“Well let’s raise a toast to my caring daughter, and her special mare.” Nightlight lifted his glass with his magic and everypony did the same. I wanted to but I felt so sick and in pain. My stomach was doing flip flip flops and I wanted to cry. Why was I-

“Hi, I’m Derpy.” I told the colts and fillies at the park. They ran around me, bouncing a ball. I felt I had been there before but it was hard to piece together when.

“We know Derpy, you told us a bizillion times.” A colt sneered as he bounced an orange ball with his wing.

“She can’t help it. She probably doesn’t remember telling us before.” A filly told him in a scolding tone. “You know she has trouble with that.”

“It’s not my fault she’s too dumb to remember things. I wasn’t the one that broke her brain.”

“She’s not dumb. Mom said so. Mom said she’s special.” The filly smiled at me, but her expression looked sad. Not really happy.

“Oh she’s special alright. Especially dumb. Ha ha. You know special is just a nice way to say dumb so ponies don’t feel bad, right?” The colt laughed as I felt my legs shake slightly. I didn’t want to be dumb. I didn’t mean to forget. I just couldn’t remember things well after the accident.

“I think she can hear you, Hoops.” The blue pony tried to whisper but it was very loud.

“Come on, she’ll forget as soon as we leave. Cause she’s so special. He he.” The colt and filly trotted away and I was left alone.

There were more memories coming. Painful memories, ponies laughing saying how special I was. Others telling me it was ok I messed up because I was just special. Ponies all around, each telling me I was special. But I wasn’t. I was just dumb to them.

The memories ended and I wanted to hide in the bathroom. Did Twilight think I was really special or just nice … and dumb? Did her family see me as that kind of special? Was that really why they were smiling?

“Derpy, are you ok?” Twilight whispered into my ear.

“I …” I wanted to tell her. Tell her I was hurting inside. I wanted to say I wasn’t that dumb but some part of me knew I was. I was too dumb for my girlfriend. They all knew that. That’s why she saw me as special.

“I’m s-sorry Twilight,” I said, my face looking down. I didn’t want to see that look of sadness from such a nice family. “I I don’t feel well right now. I think I might be sick.”

“What’s wrong? Did you eat something that didn’t agree with you?” Twilight’s ears flopped and she looked a little nervous.

“No.. I I think I should just go home. I don’t want to get everypony else sick. You all have a good time. And you all seem really nice. Thank you for inviting me.” I turned as fast as I could. The tears were coming and I didn’t want to show them that. It wasn’t really their fault I was stupid.

“Oh.. ok, I’ll walk you home.” Twilight started to stand up while everypony else was silent.

“It’s ok. You have fun with your family. I I will see you later..” I didn’t want her to see me like this. I didn’t want her to know how much it all hurt. I told myself she and the others didn’t mean it like that, but I was afraid they did.

“Ok.. bye..” Twilight’s voice echoed through the empty castle as I walked painfully to the doors. I felt so small in the hallway, so alone. The large doors opened and I left the castle.

Outside things were different. I didn’t have the control I had inside. Tears began running down my face and I didn’t know how to stop them. I had to go home. I didn’t want any pony else to see. If they did, then the special won, at least that’s how it felt.

I could barely see where I was running. I wanted to go home. I just couldn’t think of where that was. Home home home. Maybe my legs knew, but they were busy running as fast they could from all those jeering faces.

Eventually I’d run into something and everypony would stand there thinking how special I was. Maybe even Twilight. My heart hurt so bad. I couldn’t take it if she thought that. It hurt too much.

“Derpy?!”

Somepony shouted at me as I ran by. I couldn’t see who any more. I just wanted to go home. I wanted to lay on my bed and hug Nutzo. I hoped he didn’t think that way either.

“Derpy! Slow down!”

The pony was chasing me. I didn’t want to talk right now. I just wanted to hide. I didn’t want to tell anypony what was wrong. I just wanted it to stop hurting.

“Derpy, it’s Cherry! Please slow down. “ It was Cherry. If any pony was going to see me like this it was going to be her, even if I made it home. “You’re going to break down our door if you keep running like that.”

I shook the tears from my eyes and saw the blurry shape of two doors in front of me. Both of them looked like the door to our apartment. Had I made it home? Did my legs actually know where they were going?

My eyes refocused and only the one door remained, but it was the one I needed. I opened it and it was true, I was home. Cherry followed a second later and I collapsed in my room.

“Derpy? What’s wrong?! Come on, pumpkin, you can tell me. Is everything alright with Twilight?” Cherry came in and immediately hugged me. She knew I liked hugs when I was upset. The awful sickness came back and I didn’t want to speak.

But I knew I didn’t have to. Cherry waited while I cried, she was good like that. After I felt all the pain and hurt go away I told her what happened. I didn’t want to but things don’t get better if you just hide from them.

Cherry fixed me some soup and sent me to bed. Nutzo curled up next to me, patting my head with his paw. Squirrel paws are very calming. I was asleep, away from the memories, away from the happy family in the castle, away from being special.

A voice cut through the cold night air. It followed a series of loud bangs that shook the mighty doors as they were struck. Lights came on inside the castle and a silhouette appeared in the window. One of a unicorn with wings, peering out into the darkness for answers.

“Princess Twilight Sparkle, come outside and talk to me right now!”