Arranged Marriages at the Crystal Empire

As the weeks passed by, Twilight felt existential dread for herself and Fluttershy. Because Rarity's brother liked to pull his "nice" shtick, Fluttershy actually believed he loved her. Maybe he did, she didn't care. She didn't want to be involved in this fake-ass arranged polygamous relationship any longer.

Walking with her head held low, Twilight lashed her tail two and fro, furious this even had to happen at all. Following the day that Cadence left to join the cartel, she felt nothing but hatred and bitterness for all that happened to her. It didn't surprise her Cadence stopped writing her letters either, who would once you join a fucking cartel? no time.

"Aww don't look so mopesy dopesy Twilight!" Pinkie frowned, using her hooves to force a big smile on Twilight's face. "You're getting married and I get to make the cake! EEE! I am so excited right now!"

Forcing Pinkie away from her, Twilight rolled her eyes. "Good for you." She muttered. "I can't say the same, go talk to Fluttershy instead won't you? she actually likes this asshole."

"Asshole? ASSHOLE!? I mean he's weird but that's just mean! he's Rarity's brother! that means a lot Twilight! Rarity has a history of amazing family members who are super talented!"

"I DONT CARE ITS ALL A LIE." Twilight growled back. Pinkie frowned, a hurt look on her usually cheerful face. "But I dont get it, why do you hate him so much? Rarity said he was going on and on about how excited he is to finally have a girlfriend!"

"It wouldn't surprise me if he's never had one before, he can BARELY SPEAK ENGLISH." Twilight responded, punching the wall. This made Pinkie smirk loud, a shit-tasting grin forming on her pink lips.

"Well you didn't let me finish. He never had a girlfriend before because everypony thought he was so unbelievably scorching hot, so they were too shy to say anything. I mean could you imagine a pony admitting their feelings to a human!?"

"Who told you that? Lyra Heartstrings?" Twilight dismissed. She was the only pony she could think off the top of her head who would show a remote sign of interest.

"No. ME. I WAS THE ONLY SENDING HIM THE LOVE LETTERS." Pinkie sniffled, eyes watering. "I loved valdroxx so much twilight. hes my world. But I couldnt have him because Rarity said I wouldn't fit into the family because IM TOO WEIRD!" she broke down crying, tugging onto Twilight's hoof, saying how unfair it was inbetween cries and whines.

"Oh my Cele-YOU CAN HAVE HIM! I don't want that freak! and personally, being related to a violent pyschopath is not on my to-do LIST!" Twilight begged. "Just take him, please!"

"No..it's not just that. valdroxx said IM ANNOYING AND NOT SEXY LIKE THE OTHERS! a-and I don't brush my hair enough WAHH!!" Pinkie cried, pulling big cotton-candy strands out and showing Twilight with self-hatred. "I already had Spongebob anyway..."

"HE DOESNT EVEN WASH HIS HAIR HOW CAN HE TALK did you even see how greasy it was!?" Twilight retched in disgust. "Ignore him, what he thinks doesn't matter."

"YES IT DOES, do you know why his red-and-black amazing hair shines like that Twily? DO YOU? it's because he's using that ultra-hair 3000 gel everybody wants! I could never live up to his standards! EVER!"

"Oh my fucking god SHUT UP ABOUT HIM. Just marry Rarity then she's a carbon copy of him anyways!" Twilight kicked Pinkie out of the way, deciding to show up to the stadium alone, atleast Rainbow Dash thought he was ugly, she wouldn't drool over him like Pinkie.

Quickening her pace, she entered the wedding, tucking over long white banners and crowds of excited ponies. "Rainbow?" she called out, trying her best to ignore the raining confetti that fell from every inch of the sky.

"Oh hey Twilight, you're not dressing up for the occasion?" Dash observed, seeing Twilight came bare-ass naked and not with a fancy dress like the guests or Fluttershy.

"No, of course not. It isn't my wedding yet. Where's Fluttershy?" she asked, looking around for the sweet and brainwashed bitch.

"Oh yeah, she's getting ready with valdroxx. She said she can't wait to tell him her vows, she's been writing them for a long time." Dash shrugged. "I can't see why she'd give him the day, but whatever."

"Ugh! me either! and Pinkie wants his dick too! why can't anypony behave around here!?" Twilight heaved. Rainbow thought for a moment. "Eh, could be because he's not a boring stallion with the same set all the others have. Pinkie is into weird creatures."

Twilight knew better than to admit she was the one who threw the rock at Spongebob's helmet the day Pinkie gave birth to their daughter. She just hated the sea-sponge that much. Any mysterious species crawling around Ponyville made her skin crawl, and she didn't want to deal with it any longer.

"Forget it, i'll be sitting next to Rarity because she forced me too, bye Rainbow. Good luck with the sonic rainboom." Twilight twitched, leaving and taking a seat next to Rarity, who was shaking with anticipation like never before.

"Oh GOODY! I can't wait for my brother to finally be laid, you don't know how many failed attempts have happened before, hundreds of dollars and resources WASTED!" Rarity murmured.

"Why can't he just stay with Fluttershy, why does he need me?" Twilight cried, unable to hide her hormonal estrogen-filled emotions any longer. "I DONT WANT HIM! give him to Pinkie!"

"Pinkie? Pl-EASE Darling, she's a nutcase is she not? even I know better than to let her near my fabulous well-mannered kin. I want you because you're purple and pink, and one of the wolf sisters is purple and pink, I promised to find her a pony with her colors so she wouldn't be bullied."

"And how are you going to explain the BLUE ONE?" Twilight ripped her mane out as she said this, knowing Rarity only made Twilight get with him to torture her further-more as a final FUCK YOU for Cadence leaving.

"Hmm. I don't know. I guess we can just say genetics in the ponyverse are an odd thing. OH! LOOK! it's starting!" Rarity jumped with joy, holding Twilight close to her in a choke-hold. "THIS WILL BE AMAZING!"

As the doves came swooping down, the wedding belles swung side to side, ponies remained silent as the bride stepped out, holding a bouquet of flowers :) in her hooves. They were Royal Rubies, freshly picked from the Canterlot gardens. Twilight couldn't deny their beauty, despite knowing Flutter deserved better.

Her dress was breath-taking, more astonishing than anything Rarity has ever sewn before. It was a light-gown with green and pink fabric, flowing down to her back-hooves. It tied back to her neck, a pink flower in it's place. It wasn't only her outfit that took Twilight's breath away, but her hair.

Blowing in the wind, Fluttershy had done up her mane into a bob, wavy and glowing with beauty. Could Twilight be as stunning during her proposal? she doubted it. Fluttershy looked great in everything, not to mention the warm smile that creased her face was authentic.

The brides-maids, cleanly picked by Rarity stood tall and smiling, their owns sets of flowers grasped tightly in their hooves as they watched Fluttershy walk over to the canopy decorated with flowers of all kinds.

Pinkie Pie was wearing her light purple-and-pink dress, wrapped tightly with ruffled fabric and a headdress that kept the curly hair out of her eyes. Smiling widely, she fought the urge to ambush Fluttershy JEALOUS of being married to valdroxx the sexiest member of the mane seven.

Rainbow also wore a neon red-and-blue chapel that looked atrocious to the eyes, Twilight knew she had the worst taste in colors. Her red thunder-bolt earrings looked just as harsh on the eyes. Rarity made herself the bestman BECAUSE OF COURSE SHE DID.

Twilight looked to see the groomsmen but valdroxx had no friends so he just made his daughters stand next to him in suits that didn't look good on them at all. WHEN CELESTIA GOT THESE PICTURES IT WOULD BE THE END!

Twilight shielded her eyes when she saw valdroxx come out, UGHH HE SHOWED UP IN HIS UNWASHED SPORTS SHIRT AND WORN OUT JEANS! THAT WAS NOT WEDDING ATTIRE! despite being the brother of one of the most elite, respected fashionistas Equestria knew of he couldn't give less of a shit.

So then they hold hands and hooves or whatever and Twilight wants to fall asleep. If she had to hold his hands for that long she'd BITE THEM AGAIN as they were standing and he couldn't pull the lap threat this time. ERECTIONS DURING WEDDINGS WERE ILLEGAL.

"exchange the fucking vows or else." Rarity said, pointing a shotgun at Fluttershy's head. Fluttershy, who dropped down her scroll sprawled it out on the crystal floors, unable to resist the urge to start reading it.

"Oh my sweet, amazing, handsome love. When I first met you I loved you so much. but rainbine framed you for shooting up a school so you were in jail. When Rarity said you'd be returning to Ponyville and joining the mane six, I thought I would die of happiness. You are my everything, I would die for you if I had too. I can't wait to be married." She read out every word gracefully, full of love for this RANDOM DUDE SHE JUST STARTED TALKING TOO AGAIN.

"Fluttershy your so cute I love you alot and I want to have sex all nights every nights." he said. SERIOUSLY!? THAT WAS HIS VOW AFTER ALL THAT MUSHY STUFF FLUTTERSHY WROTE?

Rarity ripped the scrolls away from them and burned them in the fire. "Ok good now make out already i'm waiting and I want to get back to watching gore porn."

So THEY DO! Twilight ignores it because valdroxxes is gross BUT ONLY TO TWILIGHT PONEIS GET KILLED AND MULTILATED IN THE BACKGROUND and fluttershy is HALF HIS FUCKING SIZE and age probably so twilight looks for el cadence and the M.L.P CARTEL.

"She had to have brought her mexicans friends WITH!!" Twilight yelped in annoyance as she turned to face the ponies behind her. Scanning the crowd of sparkling, joyful ponies it would seem easy locate the tattoo-covered maniacs.

"Where are they? I wrote Cadence a letter and everything...she's never missed a wedding in the Crystal Empire before!" Twilight murmured to herself.

Then it hit her, Cadence not only left her empire to Rarity, but her ponies too. "OF COURSE! SHE ABANDONED EVERYBODY! I thought she'd atleast return at some point, is..she staying in Mexico forever!?" the thought urked her, despite being betrayed already, the truth set in like a dozen of boiling stones.

Eyes clouded in disappointment, she slowly turned away, knowing her pink alicorn friend was nowhere in sight, and probably never would be again. Feeling upset and hurt, Twilight salvaged some of the burning paper Rarity threw in the fire and began writing.

Dear Princ- *Scribble* EL Cadence. You didn't come to Fluttershy's wedding. Will you atleast come to mine? me and my real friends miss you, and if you group wants to be there that badly i'll allow it, just don't hurt anypony. The Crystal Empire isn't the same without the Princess of love, with all due respect

-Twilight Sparkle.

Sighing, Twilight used her magic to teleport it to Cadences new address, praying she'd see it. At this rate her mailbox was pooling with letters, this had been her 10th one since her departure. The once hopeful, bittersweet letters turned sour the more anxious Twilight became. Maybe Cadence decided to tear them all up and be done with her past.

As the wedding came to a close, Fluttershy fluttered down the pathway, singing to herself as she caught up to the depressed purple pony. "Are you okay, Twilight? I was hoping you'd try some cake."

"No thanks." Twilight said my mom is dying while im writing this and fluttershy is very sad. "Well Valdroxx will save you some food ok."

"DONT MAKE HIM COME TO MY ROOM ALONE." Twilight screamed. "IM NOT HUNGRY." Galloping away with tears in her eyes, she scurried back to the house she hated living in, curling up under her sheets and sobbing uncontrollably until she eventually fell asleep.