Arranged Marriages at the Crystal Empire

Twilight gulped as her and Fluttershy traversed down the seemingly endless crystal-clear hallway, already she could see the yellow bars at made up the balcony, and the table Rarity set up on the patio. There were three chairs marked in red-velvet fabric, sewed by herself of course.

"Maybe it won't be so bad, Rarity put a lot of effort into this!" Fluttershy remarked, sitting down on the dark red chairs as Twilight begrudgingly pulled out her seat. The whole table was doused in candles, making her food stink like smoke and melting wax instead of her delicious steak and carrots.

"This is going to SUCK!" Twilight whined, slamming her face hard onto the over-burnt meat and groaning endlessly in anguish. "The only love-life I ever had was Flash Sentry, and that was before the mirror to the human world was destroyed by Celestia!"

Fluttershy poured some gravy on her steak and carrots, her eyes brightening and the mouth-watering sight. "Don't cry Twilight, Flash Sentry is safe with the human versions of us in Canterlot High. Celestia said because Rarity's brother was so nice and the best member of the mane seven, we didn't need the other humans anymore."

"And how is Sunset Shimmer going to make it on her own!? she needed my guidance still!" Twilight snapped, slamming her hooves down onto the table as knives and forks surrounding the two flew up into the air and clattered back down with a crash, causing some to dispatch across the glassy floors or fall off the patio entirely.

"Oh my! Twilight! Rarity will be furious!" Fluttershy squeaked, trying to gather up the missing silverware. "Just calm down and go with it, please? I don't want to be hung and publicly executed for Rarity's sick pleasure!"

Twilight's harsh gaze weakened when she remembered the spine-chilling threat Rarity told them right before they got here. "I know." In shame, she stared at the floor, waiting for her soon-to-be husband to arrive.

AND SO HE DID! walking down the hallways in the HOTTEST WAY IMAGINABLE! Twilight's jaw dropped to the ground when he flicked his black sidebang. His hair was red and black kinda like Rairty's manestyle was but BETTER!

"Hello girls." He said sitting down and winking so much. "What the fuck. RARITY I DONT LIKE STEAK." and he threw it off the balcony the plate fractures the skull of some crystal ponies from down below killing them immediately.

"I-I YOU KILLED SOMEPONY!" Twilight cried, staring at the blood pooling out of the translucent ponies from below. "I can't believe I have to marry a sick bastard like you!"

"I can't believe it either." He said laying back in his chair so SMUG. "I can finally know what having sex feels like."

"Oh No! d-d-don't say the-the S word!!" Fluttershy chokes on her steak at the thought cause the bulge is bigger then the red shiny apple next to her.

"Oh my bad, I know you girls think im super attractive." He said wrapping his arm around twilight she bites it. "OWW GRR THATS FUCKING IT TWILIGHT." He said and forces her to sit on his lap. "Bite again ill have a massive erection and it will hurt to feel it."

Oh NO! now she had to sit on his GROSS LAP! Twilight's pupils shrunk down into microscopic balls. WHAT IF HE HAD ONE ANYWAYS!?

"So Rarity's brother, I heard you were really famous, is that true?" Fluttershy asked, she hadn't seen him since before he got popular thanks to all of Rarity's promotions featuring him in them, so she needed some catching up to do. "I heard you also design clothes."

"Oh yeah, im so rich now." He smiled wide and twilight thinks he should've shaved his face better. "What a fucking loser nice black dirt stash." BUT DIDNT REALIZE SHE SAID IT OUTLOUD.

"Thanks!" he said because he didn't realize that was an insult. Twilight sighs in relief as him and Fluttershy continued to talk.

It was so easy for her! she dated him back in highschool, Twilight only knew him from Rarity. Why he also needed her to marry him she would never know.

"So fluttershy and Twilight, I was thinking, I don't want one of you to feel like the wedding is centered around one pony more than the other because im a good person, so me and my sister decided we'll have them a week apart. Fluttershy, you'll be married to me first, after that, Twilight and me."

"YOUR KIDDING!" Twilight cringed, unable to imagine valfuck having TWO weddings NOT JUST ONE and everyone being content with it! "But then you'll have to re-invite everypony in town to the same stadium, they'll be bored out of their minds!"

"No. I got Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash to help keep everyone amused, they'll be so distracted by Rainbow Dashes awesome sonic rainbooms, my massive penis and Pinkie Pie's party-games they won't even realize I'm getting married to two wives!" He told them.

"Oh that's actually really smart!" Fluttershy piped up. "What do you think Twilight?"

At the mention of Rainbow and Pinkies names, Twilight felt a calling from the heavens. A yellow shine appeared all around her, now she could be saved and get out of here! all she had to do was tell them everything! "Wait, valdroxx invited rainbow and pinkie? GOOD! I-I mean it's great that some of my friends will be there!"

"Yeah I know you two liked them but I didn't invite Applejack because she's a hill-billy and I DONT WANT UGLY GIRLS AT MY WEDDING especially farmers who sleep in the same pen as pigs."

"How dare you say that about APPLEJACK!" Twilight felt her face turning red again, he only hated AJ because she wasn't a sex-object good enough in HIS EYES.

"My opinion." He said kicking his feet up twilight gags. "EWW HUMAN FEET! she destroys his sandels instantly with her teeth but the socks only kill her inside more. "ARGHH!!"

Rarity, posing as the waitress came strutting back, handing the three fresh glasses of water. "I nearly forgot to turn this on." she hoof-palmed, using her magic to make THE MOST ROMANTIC MUSIC EVER PLAY!

"Oh yeah I love music." valdroxx said. Twilight can't believe Fluttershy's giving him bedroom eyes because of the shitty pop-song thousands of other ponies had heard a million times before started playing. "Oh really? well...I love this song too." She hummed back.

"I swear if those two make out I'll jump and kill myself." Twilight whispered so they couldn't hear her, seeing them pull closer to eachother. Turning around, Twilight quickly composed of a plan to stop the kiss. "I know, what else could ruin such a lovely moment then preventing it from happening at all!"

Whipping her head around, she slammed her hoof against her glass, causing ice-cold water to spill on both of their faces. "FUCK!" he says and Fluttershy shrieks in surprise. "Twilight, that was so rude! Why did you splash us?!"

"SAVED YOU FROM THE STDS." Twilight bellowed. "Believe me Fluttershy, the HIV wouldn't have been worth it."

"OH because i'm from somewhere that isn't Ponyville I have HIV diseases huh?" he said OFFENDED. "Twilight, are you just worried the sex will hurt? your playing hard to get for a reason."

"NOOOO EWWW!!!" Twilight said but he knows it's SO true. "Well twilight i'd hate to tell you this but I spiked your drink because I knew you'd resist. Rarity helped."

"W-WHAT but sex is AFTER MARRIAGE THIS CANT BE!!" but hes right and twilight loses all movements in her leg. "PLEASE NO!" but before he can do anything Rainbow and Pinkie arrive on short notice, entering the castle very noisily.

"Uh, are we interrupting something here?" Rainbow Dash asked, confused at how a date could've looked so wrong. Pinkie jumps with glee when she sees Flutters and Twi. "Oh I missed you girls so much!"

"what about me." Raritys brother said. "Where's my hug."

"Uhhh ill get to you valdroxx" and pinkie disappears for the rest of the night not wanting to touch him or his arm-bands because they're sexy. Rainbow Dash cracks up instantly. "THATS your future husband? BAHAHA! I knew it! who else would it be?"

Had Twilight been able to move, she would've punched Rainbow Dashes eyes out. "SHUT UP DASH! it's not as bad as when Pinkie married Spongebob Sqaurepants!"

"BAHAHAHA! Twilight you're killing me here-HAHAHA!" Rainbow cackled, falling to the floor and kicking her legs non-stop. "You guys have horrible taste!"

"So the date went well then, you're comfortable with him?" Rarity dashed out of her hiding place, an unnerving expression of sadistic glee plastered on her face. "That's wonderful!"

"Oh yes, I missed droxy so much." Fluttershy said with hearts popping out of her eyes. "He's the man of my dreams."

"THE WHAT!?" Rainbow Dash snickered. "I came here expecting to do some cool stunts but you surprise me with this? this is why I love you guys HEHA!"

"This is why I hate you." Twilight grumbled to herself, knowing the drug wasn't going to kick off anytime soon and nobody seemed to give a shit because they were complimenting Rarity's brother and how charming and seductive and ALLURING HE COULD BE!

"SOMEPONY HELP ME ALREADY!" Twilight shouted. "Oh, of course dear, I'll get you to the crystal-dorms right away, of course that'll mean you miss out on all the fun we'll have planning the wedding without THE BRIDE."

"Y-You got him to SPIKE MY DRINK THOUGH!" Twilight couldn't believe Rarity was guilt-tripping her when it was obvious she lost the ability to move.

"I know, I wanted you to get raped, but obviously that didn't happen, so go to your room and cry, will you?" all love and warmth drained from her face instantly as she tossed Twilight's paralyzed body straight into the wall.

Grunting, Twilight felt her body slide down and hit the crystal floors, her hooves being cut by some of the crystal shards nearby. In immense pain, she heard her friends walk past without a single care in the world.

"Oh Shining, if only you were still here." Twilight sobbed into her hooves.