Another ANON FILLY Story

[IN AMERICAN STREETS]
Diana walked down the street, playing melodies on a saxophone. A soft melody drifted into the night as she walked to her job. Yeah, it was early. But her Pinkie sense was going through the roof! Something was going down and she would find out what!

"Hey sister!" A black man in a dirty suit sat on the curb, waving her over.

"Hello dirty homeless man!" Diana said, slowly dancing towards the man while playing her saxophone.

"Hello well dressed swinger!" the man said in cheerful reply. "Can you do this negro a favor and play some blues?"

"Yes sir Mr. Man!" Diana started playing. 'Dwawawa dwawawa dwawawa dwawawa dwaaa'

"Hey! That's crazy blues!" the man said, slowly standing.

"By Mamie Smith!" Diana winked at the man, handing him a mic.

The man looked in surprise at the transducer, before shrugging. "I caaan't sleep at night." he sang, tapping his foot. "I caaan't eat a bite. Cause the man I love, he don't treat me right." The poor man's singing was suddenly interrupted as a boot hit his head. "Dear lord!"

"Shut up, nigger!" A well dressed man stood a short ways down the street, holding a broken brick in his hand. "Otherwise the next one won't be so soft!"

"Hey!" Diana exclaimed, putting an arm around the well dressed man.

"Jesus, where did you come from?" the well dressed man asked in shock. The poor man raised an eyebrow and chuckled, looking at where Diana was, and where she now stood.

"Well, Mr and Mrs Cake say that babies come from storks. But my moma told me I hatched from a rock!" Diana said. She casually dodged the brick. "Why are you so against music, Mr. Mean?"

The well dressed man snorted. "I'm not against music. I'm against the nonsense his kind sings!" he shouted, pointing to the homeless man.

"Aww. Is it because he's black?" Diana asked, tilting her head in confusion.

Both the well dressed and the poor man blinked in surprise. "Well, yes." the well dressed man said.

"Ain't nothing I ain't used to." the poor man said.

"Hmm..." Diana rubbed her chin, leaning against a lamppost. The two man turned to look at her sudden disappearance and reemergence. "Well, I've got an idea, if you'll humor a silly little chick," Diana said, pulling out a trumpet and a guitar. "I got a game in mind to see if you're a big enough cat to have an opinion on this man's music!"

The well dressed man raised a brow. "I hate him for his color. How's that- OOF!" He let out a grunt as Diana shoved the guitar into his chest. She spinned over to the poor man and dropped the trumpet in his hands.

"Now then, the best way for expression is through a song. But a song must also be played with soul and heart. So Mr Meanie, let's hear you play something," Diana said.

The well dressed man raised a brow. "Why? What will any of this prove?"

Diana sighed. "Oh, I suppose you're right. I just figured you knew music in order to judge it. But I guess You're just another tone-death hack."

The man snarled. "Hey! I'm not tone-death! And I'm sure as hell no hack!" he said, raising the guitar. "Listen to this, why don't you?"

Diana shrugged, leaning against a lamppost. 'This should be fun!' she thought with a grin. Darkness slowly crept into her vision as she started to hear a ringing. 'Oh. Ain't this just the cat's meow? Another dizzy spell, just when I'm tryin' to turn these fellas into pals. Figures, huh?' Diana could feel the two playing music, and long to join in. But she simply leaned against the street pole, and slowly slid down, reaching into her little handbag. She liked to hide her handbag, because then people wouldn't know where she pulled her tubas from. She shook her head, trying to focus. Diana pulled out a bottle of Coca Cola, and a bottle opener. Her hand slipped, and her Coca Cola went rolling into the street.

Diana giggled, and simply sat back, listening to the music. She couldn't really focus on it. Her mind was far too busy wandering, or wanting that delicious Coca Cola. It was her own personal stash, after all. She was a massive fan of the drink, and discovered some people were stuck with thousands of Coca Colas they couldn't sell for some reason. Stuck with it for a decade or two. So Diana offered to buy them for a real cheap price! Now she had years worth of sweet delicious Coca Cola, all for her! She usually liked to share her treats, but this stuff was special, just for her. The guys she bought the stuff from said she was making a foolish decision buying that much, if any. But she did it anyways! After all, she was rich! And what would the rich do, if not spend their money on foolish ventures? She sighed, as her skin tingled. It wasn't a normal tingle.

Diana thought she might have diabetes. Or something along those lines. She didn't understand it much, but it had to do with sugar. Docs were trying out this new fancy insulin, and before that they used rose petals and such. Pinkie didn't understand any of that weirdness. But her tasty Coca Cola always made her perk right back up! So whatever caused her dizzy spells, she knew the only cure she needed was her Coca Cola.

Diana wondered why she didn't pull out another bottle and drink that. Would that hurt the first bottle's feelings? Probably not, seeing how bottles didn't have feelings. Unless they did. Because Diana was pretty sure she heard her sandwich telling her to cook her pet gator. But a single bottle of delightful Coca Cola, and that sensation went away!

"Hey, you alright, lady?" Diana blinked, seeing the two men standing in front of her, with a look of mild concern.

"Oh, I'm fine." Diana said, with a wave of her hand. "Just a lil sugar and I'll be hunky-dory!"

"Really?" The well dressed man frowned. "Well, I'm afraid I don't have anything sweet on my person this early in the morning." He checked his watch. "Ah, it is indeed morning. The sun should be rising in a few hours."

Diana giggled. "No worries silly. I had a soda, but it rolled off that-away." She pointed down the road.

The poor man went and picked up the bottle. He gave it a look. "Didn't know they still sold them in this shape," he commented, handing Diana the soda. She popped it open and began eagerly drinking.

The well dressed man tapped the poor on the shoulder. "Richard Daustin," he said, extended a hand.

"Jack Brown," Jack stood up and shook his hand.

"Look, I'm sorry about my comments from earlier. Your music isn't that bad." Richard apologized.

"Ah, don't worry about it." Jack said with a wave of his hand. "Wouldn't be the first time, and sure won't be the last."

"Well I aught to make it up to you somehow..." Richard snapped his fingers. "I got it! Come by here tomorrow night. I know a place with rather decent menu options." Diana started putting on a set of skates, bottle in hand.

"They as friendly to negros as you, Mr. Daustin?" Jack asked.

Richard frowned. "Ah, that's a good point."

Diana stood up. "Orrrr the two of you could catch a burger and a shake at the Savory Treat. Sits on the corner of Jameson street!" She pulled out a coupon. "And for your first visit, you can get a free slice of pie!" she said, handing Jack the coupon.

Richard looked at Diana with a smile. "You're a strange one. I'll give it a go." He held out the guitar.

"Keep them, I've got more!" Diana said, hopping to her feet. "Sorry boys, but I'm busy, and I've already been goofing off too long!" she said, rolling down the street. She finished her soda, and put it away. She sighed sadly as she rolled. Diana was certain the two put on quite a musical performance.

Diana pulled out a chain leash from her bag, inspecting it. She hummed. "I may need something bigger to help Nonny."

[IN THE CANTERLOT CASTLE]

Luna was an ancient being, and for such was old and wise. She knew many who were older and wiser over her years, yet she was the only evil one who survived to the current day. Or at least she hoped she was. If there were others who still remained, it would mean great trouble for the current era.

This in turn meant without all the ancients of wisdom, she was left to interpret her dream with her sister, the only creature living older than herself. And whilst many thought Celestia to be a great prophet, seer, and revelator, she was only a priestess. A priestess who studies many ancient scriptures on the word of her God, but not of many other gods.

All this meant that the two of them were having to search old and dusty records for anything that could reference this Crown of Harmony. So they went looking through the card catalogs. Unfortunately for the two of them, records were scarce. After Luna's attempt to bring depravity across Equestria for The NightMare, Celestia's book keepers, librarians, and followers took it upon themselves to burn any records depicting false idols or foreign gods. A fact that the librarian was proud to boast, along with records of heretics they have killed, and bloodlines wiped out for believing Luna's ideals so long ago.

This in turn made Celestia question the stallion, only for her to truly realize how romanticized she was in the eyes of everypony before her. Such as for the last 300 years, no Pope had been chosen, as they thought Celestia chose the pope, yet she could not choose, for she lacked the authority. Along with the fact that whilst she was once temporary supervisor for the King and Queen 500 or so years ago, no new crown was selected, and Blueblood was not the next in line to the throne unless Celestia deemed it so.

All of this resulted in the priestess bawling her eyes out in a confused mess in an ancient dusty library as she realized just how much power she held. Her tears and the dust making her dress look muddy, and the Grand Librarian was hopelessly trying to calm her by explaining how skilled of a leader she had been so far.

The crying resulted in guards rushing into the dusty rooms trying to apprehend Luna, who didn't really care as frankly all the signs of Celestia being seen as a ruler were as plain as day, ironically enough. This resulted in a battle, which resulted in Luna's fluffy robes being torn, which resulted in Luna cursing the guard who tore her robe with never-ending orgasms, which resulted in Celestia forcing Luna to find a way to end the curse.

So this all meant was Celestia has in a muddy dress with a tear streaked face, Luna was in a torn and bloody uncomfortable robe trying to find her notes on how to end curses, the Librarian was still trying to boost Celestia's ego, and a guard was stuck cumming into a bucket so he wouldn't stain the books whilst the other guards simply stood around.

All in all, Luna was having a rather enjoyable afternoon.

Celestia did not like this. "Is there something funny, Luna dear?" she asked, using a handkerchief provided by a guard to clean her face.

"Oh not much, dear sister. I'm merely stoked at the idea of undoing a curse for once." Luna said. "I think it'll be rather hip."

Celestia frowned. "Pardon me, and it might be because I can't hear anything over Knight Cloven, but did you say 'hip'?" Celestia asked.

Luna punched a hole into the floor, looking through the floor boards. "Yes! The translator you assigned me has been teaching me the modern language, which I have picked up rather well. So I now know that when speaking to the common ponies to use the phrase 'tubular', and 'extraordinary' with the high class." Luna poked her head through the floor. "Now where is it?"

"Huh. We never thought to look for hidden books in the floor of the catalog chamber." the Librarian said.

"Sister, who taught you the phrase 'tubular'?" Celestia asked, bewildered.

"The translator!" Luna said. She squirmed deeper into the hole, her hindlegs sticking out of the floor.

"Luna, I never provided you with a translator," Celestia said.

"Then that is a mystery for another time," Luna said, rooting around. Her hoof hit something solid and soft. "Ah ha!" she said, pulling herself out of the whole. She held a leather bound book. The cover seemed to be of odd pattern.

"Luna, that better not be fashioned from what I think it may be," Celestia said.

"High Priestess, we're starting to run low on buckets."

Luna started flipping through the pages. "If you're thinking it's made of sheaths, you would be correct," Luna said.

"WHAT!?" Celestia asked in horror. Her face became green.

"Worry not sister, each sheath was taken from a rapist." Luna's eyes widened, and she smiled. Her horn lit as she summoned her staff, a beautiful black rod with a pale moon on the top that reflected the cycle. She quickly made a circle around Cloven, adding runes to her circle. She slammed it down as the room was filled with a bright light.

Knight Cloven let out a roar as he sprayed across the floor, before collapsing onto his side with a scream of pain. "My balls." he whimpered.

"Well maybe next time you'll know better than to wreck my robe," Luna said. She let out her own cry of pain as Celestia smacked her across the head.

"We have more robes, Mistress! The next time thou curses one of mine guards, there shall be consequences!" Celestia scolded. Her gentle robes seem to be more tattered and a fire burned in her eyes, almost casting a sort of light.

Luna gulped. "Yes High Priestess." The others took several steps back, tripping over themselves.

The fire dimmed, as Celestia sighed. "Luna. The people still fear you. Whilst ponies are far more open about... things nowadays, you are still the tales they warn about. Known not only as the first degenerate, a title you seem so proud of, but also a seductress and murderer. The most common rape drug is still DeadSleep, the drug you created. And casting curses helps you none in improving anything!" She looked to the side, at Cloven. "And I can't have you hurting innocents. Not again."

Luna's ears flattened. She walked over to a cabinet and sat next to it. "I... I am sorry. I am still so used to ponies hating me, and whilst I claim to be better, I still find myself revealing in every spite filled comment they send my way." She looked up at her staff. "Perhaps I should have stayed on the moon," she said, removing her pointed hat. She looked at Knight Cloven. "You will be paid a year's worth of wage for what I have done to you."

The Librarian cleared his throat. "Now that the Sir is no longer a threat to the books, I would advise getting him to the medic wing for rehydration."

Celestia nodded, levitating Cloven onto her back, the other guards falling in line. "Luna, I will be gone to tend to him. You may continue to rummage through these books if you so desire." With that, she left with the knights.

Luna sighed, looking at the ground. "Thou hast truly made a fool of thine self," she said, dispersing her staff.

The Librarian brought over a mop with a grimace, before proceeding to clean the mess.

[WITHIN A DARK CELL]

Anon looked at the ceiling of her cell in boredom. "Ugh, I'm booored. When are they gonna send someone?"

Random shrugged. "Probably when you fall asleep. Little ponies do need a lot of rest after all."

"But I'm not tired yet," Anon complained. "Is there anything we can do?"

"Hmm... You could try breaking every bone in that body." Random suggested.

Anon looked down at the corpse. "Eh, sure."

[!N $m#r!c$n 4tr##t$]

"Drink, drank, Drunk the night before. Gonna get drunk like I've never drunk before," Anon sang to himself as he walked down the early morning street. A large bag on his back clinked slightly as he walked. "For when I'm drunk I'm as happy as can be, for I am a member of the Souse family," He knew he would have to hurry, for the sun would be rising soon. "Singing Glo-ri-ous! Glo-ri-ous! One keg of beer for the four of us!" If everything went well he'd be making quite a sum of cash, and a bit of a decent rep. If not, well, he did get that new gun and car. "Singing glory be to God that there are no more of us, for one of us could drink it all alone!"
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CHAPTER % COMPLETE! I'm not dead, but I have discovered that if I try and make a horror, it keeps becoming a comedy. So I figure if I embrace that, things will be a lot easier. For instance, this chapter was taking me forever to make spooky. So I changed it to funny and I finished it in a day.
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