Midnight

"Might be better to wait and put everything else back together after we make doubly sure it works."

"I'm confident it will after we tested the old one - but you're right. No sense in tearing it all apart twice."

It didn't take too long to swap out speedometers - the simplicity of old cars is a wonderful thing.

But I have to admit during the whole process, I was distracted.

I'm worried about Midnight. It's been quiet since she and Starla went upstairs. At some point, I expected to hear her throw a tantrum or witness one of them storming out from our living space.

That hasn't happened.

On the one hand, I feel like a piece of shit for assuming the worst from Middie.

On the other hand - well, she was bratty enough earlier today. And I live with her - I know how she is.

But maybe Teddy is right - maybe her attitude is partly because of me. Specifically, feeling an instinctual need to keep others away from me.

It seemed farfetched and silly when it was first brought up... But hell, Midnight isn't exactly rational when it comes to her emotions.

"Well, if you want - go out and test it. I can check on the gals while you're out."

"I'm sure they're fine, John," Teddy replies with a wave.

"I know... but doesn't hurt to check, right?"

"Nah. I get it - but I think you underestimate Starla if you're worried about Midnight hurting her feelings or something."

The 'or something' is most concerning.

Teddy hops in the Cutlass and cranks the engine, firing up surprisingly quickly for an old car. With an old electrical system, no less.

Teddy definitely has good hands in a mechanical sense. Wonder if robotics and shit transfer to cars to an extent...

Maybe a little. Regardless, it's been nice to shoot the shit and work on the car during the afternoon. While things got off to a rocky start, I appreciate Teddy's laid-back personality and sense of humor.

Now if Starla and Midnight can get along, and Midnight can just be mellow...

As Teddy rolls back out of the garage, I head up the stairs to my home, undeniably tense.

Maybe getting away from me helped her to chill out a bit. Which only makes me feel more nervous. After all, if I trigger her bullshit... Well, then I'm not a very good influence, which is a troubling thought.

When I get to the landing, I can already hear voices from the other side. And they sound rather close to the door.

Why would they be in the kitchen?

"Yes, just like that. And you just keep going back and forth until you get to the end."

What?

That was Starla's voice giving... some sort of instruction

I gingerly push open the door and peek in.

Both mares are in the kitchen, very close to the door...

...Looking at the microwave?

Much to my surprise, Midnight is in the midst of braiding her mane like Starla's, using the window of the microwave to inspect her progress. Starla stands beside her with a big smile plastered on her face while she gives instructions.

Meanwhile, I also note Middie has already fiddled with her tail and matched it close to Starla's braid, as well.

Well then...

This is unexpected.

"I really don't know if this is a look for me. I preferred the ponytail look - or just plain natural," Midnight comments.

"There's nothing wrong with that - I just wanted to see you do it again so you know how to do it. Sometimes doing it in the mirror can get disorienting."

"Yeah, it would be nice if John had an actual mirror instead of using a piss-poor reflection off of an appliance."

"Ask him for one."

"No way! Do you know how embarrassing it would be to put that out there?" Midnight scoffs. "'Hey John, I want to try doing different mane styles and looks - could you buy me a mirror?' No thanks, I can't imagine how much fun he would have with that."

"He only does it because he likes you," Starla teases.

"Shut up."

"Why are you doing this if you don't want him to see you all prettied up?"

"Please shut up?"

Midnight drops her braid in progress, letting it fall back to its natural flow. Likewise, the braid in her tail unravels with aid from one of her many metal tools scattered around.

A rubber band with wire tied around it floats up while yet another bit of metal corrals her mane, allowing her to pull it up and band it into a ponytail. Another band follows - though it only winds up an inch or two up from the end.

"I don't know if I prefer this, or just having it flow freely."

... damn she looks good. It's an adorable look.

...and it starts to get a rise out of me.

Shit. Think of grandma naked, think of grandma naked...

Now I feel like throwing up. But it does stop the train and back it up.

I want to barge in and tell her how good she looks, but it's not a wise idea. Instead, I silently close the door and gently turn the knob back to its home position, before rapping lightly on the door.

Frenzied shuffling and spastic mutterings can be heard on the other side. Virtually all of it from Midnight of course.

"What do you want?" she asks in a brusque manner, sounding further away than just a moment ago.

"Nicer," I hear Starla whisper, barely audible.

"That was nice - normally I'd ask him what the fuck he wanted."

"You two okay?"

"Fine. Why?"

"Just haven't heard anything in a while, wanted to make sure everything was good. Can I come in?"

"I guess."

I pop open the door and glance around.

Midnight takes note of my hesitant entry right away as she sits on a barstool at the kitchen island. Starla sits in my normal spot across from her - albeit turned to face me. She's calm and collected with a look of content.

Midnight seems mostly relaxed. ...mostly.

"You were spying on us, weren't you?" she accuses.

"I was not, actually. I may have overheard some things, but-"

"I thought I heard the door open," Starla says as if hit by an epiphany.

"And you didn't say anything?!"

"Well, you didn't seem to hear it - I thought maybe it was some noise that was normal for this place."

Midnight looks positively annoyed and flustered, shooting Starla a look of anger before her wings spread out and wrap around to obscure herself.

Starla merely giggles before her focus flashes back to me. "How is work on the car going?"

"Teddy's out taking it for a test drive before we completely button everything back up. What have you two been doing? Seems like you're getting along decent enough."

"Talking, mostly. Trying to help her out a little bit," she says, pointing a hoof to the cocooned figure on the other side of the island.

Well, I can't leave this alone.

"Helping her with what?"

"Relax, learn to live life. I thought maybe I could help a bit since - well, I've been in her hooves. Perhaps not quite as anxious, but... it is hard. I've experienced it, and I've seen it from other rejects on the streets."

Damn. I hadn't expected to come up here and find out Midnight's been getting a pep talk.

"Midnight?"

"What?"

"Can you stop being embarrassed for a moment?"

Slowly, her wings slide away from her face, those sky-blue eyes piercing through the feathers momentarily before I finally get a clear view of her face.

"Don't you dare say anything about... what you might have seen," she mutters unhappily.

"I wouldn't dream of it," I assure her, absolutely stoic and serious.

"So you admit you saw... things."

"...Maybe. but I didn't think it was bad. It was cute."

"I'm not fucking cute."

"It's a compliment, dear."

"You aren't helping right now, Starla."

Starla slides out of her seat and saunters toward me, trying not to laugh. "I'm going to go back downstairs - I think you two should talk privately for a few moments," she says quietly.

"Alright..."

She nods and smiles reassuringly before stepping out behind me.

"What's up, Middie?" I ask, shuffling over and sitting down where Starla was moments ago.

"Starla is smarter than she seems, I'll say that much," Midnight sighs.

"I never thought she seemed dim in any way, to be honest."

"Hm. I guess that's sort of the point, isn't it?" she asks, slightly amused.

This is a side of Midnight I haven't seen in some time. She's talking to me, but her eyes show she isn't really focused on me.

She's focused internally.

I keep quiet in the meantime, giving her a moment to collect up whatever she's mulling over at this point in time.

"I'm not happy, John," she says quietly.

The blunt statement sends a jolt through my system. I can't help my mind try to race to a conclusion. That it's me leading to her issues...

But I force any knee-jerk reactions back for the time being.

"About what?"

Midnight initially shrugs a bit, looking rather downtrodden as she just stares at the countertop.

"A lot of things, I guess. Looking at Starla, listening to her talk, listening to what she went through - we are similar in many ways. It's what happened afterward that sets us apart. She moved on, and I didn't."

"We're working through it, right? Talking about things here and th-"

"Don't. Stop," Midnight cuts in, her eyes darting to me.

She doesn't look angry - but her tone is firm.

"No more excuses. Not from me, not from you."

"Okay. I'm sorry about that."

Midnight exhales deeply, shaking her head. "Starla can look past what happened to her, why it happened, who was involved. She's past that - it's a memory, she hasn't forgotten it, but she's - she doesn't let it impact her everyday life."

Middie forces out a small laugh as she pauses. "Starting to talk to her, I just thought she was stupid, you know? Like how I said all biological ponies were - that I met, anyway. I just lump em together regardless, right off the bat. And that right there is the issue."

"You don't give anyone a chance."

"No. I just look at anyone and everyone - and I guess I just feel like I'm looking at the labcoats in the facility again - observing me, ready to move on to some other stupid test to gauge some aspect of me. I look and see people, and I feel like they're in on that - they're all out to get me. It is paranoia."

I have sort of hinted she was being overly paranoid on occasion, but hearing her say that...

It's rough.

It's rough listening to Midnight bring her walls down, so to speak. She isn't visibly upset - but just from her voice, I can tell it's hard for her to come to terms with this.

Especially after denying it for so long.

"I got out of hell because I wanted to be happy. I wanted to be free to do what I wanted, not exist for someone else to toy with. But I'm still imprisoned. I'm imprisoning myself because I can't let go that something might happen, that someone in the world will recognize me and contact those who probably want me back - just to destroy me. But living in anticipation for that, dreading that, trying to prepare for it, and being skeptical of everyone - that's not really living, is it?"

"I suppose not really. It's one thing to be cautious but..."

"It's another to distrust everyone at face value. Like that little girl at the store instantly assuming the worst in me," Midnight says forlornly. "I want to be happy John. I thought I was but - not really. Not like Starla, who can live without a care. And maybe that's why I hated her at first - seeing her so happy and carefree. Maybe that's why I don't like bots or biological ponies - they don't think about the things I do. Maybe I just think too much."

Midnight pauses again, collecting more thoughts while I sit patiently.

"And I guess... there might be a part of me that sort of - I don't know, care about you. More than I'm willing to admit. Maybe that's part of my problem too."

"Care how?"

Midnight locks eyes with me.

"I don't know."

What do I make of that? Her face remains virtually emotionless, not allowing me any hints.

"I've numbed myself for a long time, John. I guess I'm not really used to... feeling. So I don't know what else to really say, other than I need to make changes. I need to try to be better. Maybe I've always known that a little - but having someone like me, yet live such a vastly different lifestyle and possess a vastly different outlook on life... it sort of puts everything in perspective to where I can understand it."

Midnight looks uncomfortable after spitting all that out.

Vulnerable. But relieved.

"Is there anything you want me to do to help?"

"Be you," she says quietly, pausing a moment. "Maybe lay off the stupidity and jokes a tad, but... be John."

"I think I can do that."

Midnight's ears perk up just as I begin to hear the tell-tale signs of Teddy's return.

"I was starting to wonder if he got lost. Probably having too much fun," I quip.

"How... much did you really see and hear earlier?" Midnight asks, her voice lowering in embarrassment.

I shrug, playing it off as nothing. "I don't really think it's that important. I already forgot," I answer. "But I do think you look pretty good with a ponytail if that means anything."

She bites her lip, looking around anywhere other than me. "I might do that once in a while. Not for you, obviously, just... I sort of like the look, too."

"Fair enough. What do you say we head downstairs and see where we are with the Cutlass, huh?"

"Alright."

I give her a smile of reassurance before getting back to my feet and turning for the door.

"Wait."

Midnight's command stops me dead in my tracks. I spin around just as she trots up to meet me.

"Something else?"

Without a word, Midnight spreads her wings, mindful of their size in relation to the confines of our kitchen. She takes a step forward, resting her head on my chest before her wings envelop my entire form.

Somewhat shocked at first, I relax, then put my arms gently around her neck and hold her close.

"Thank you, John."

What exactly she's thanking me for - well, that's sort of hard to discern. I would ask, but...

She already laid out so much more than I expected. It's best to just leave it at that. It's best to just support her however she needs me at this time, and however I can do so in the future.

"No problem, Middie."

The rest of the afternoon went surprisingly smooth. I could tell Midnight was putting forth an effort to engage in any sort of little conversation with Starla.

Starla was more than happy to oblige.

By the end of the visit, Midnight had been able to relax a bit more and actually show a few smiles and a bit of laughter. Before our guests left with the unanimous agreement that there would be another meetup with all of us, Midnight took a moment to thank Teddy for the necklace.

It was rather awkward - but it was a start. Definitely a night and day difference from when Teddy and Starla had arrived to the time they had left.

Junkyard work went by in a flash, leaving relaxation and dinner time the objectives.

Tonight is Hamburger Helper night - time to see if this is something Midnight would be enjoying, or tolerating. Chili mac doesn't go too hard in terms of exotics, so I feel confident.

While I have been dicking around with the stove, Midnight has remained seated at the island in her normal spot. She's been rather quiet, though I have to believe some of that is just due to the whirlwind of thoughts and emotions she's been put through today.

"You doing okay?"

"Relatively speaking, yes. I'm just tired," Midnight replies, the fatigue palpable in her voice.

"Nothing wrong with that. Just surprised you've not said much, and I wanted to make sure."

"I get it. Today's just given me a lot to think about."

"I thought you said you think too much," I remind her in a light-hearted tone.

It at least gets a mild smirk out of her. "Somewhat of a paradox, isn't it?"

"A little bit. But it's not like changing your mindset is as simple as a snap of the fingers, either."

"I don't have fingers."

"Exactly - that makes it harder still for you."

"You know, that was a really awful joke."

"Wasn't wrong, though, was I?"

While she shakes her head, I tend to the browning ground beef that's sizzling away in the skillet.

"On a lighter note - and not because I want to tease, mind you..."

"Yes?"

"How did mane styling suddenly become a topic today?" I question, returning my attention to her.

Midnight is a little hesitant to reply - but she doesn't really seem offended like I would have normally expected.

The fact that she got along well enough with Starla reminded me that assuming Midnight's actions and reactions wasn't very helpful or productive. I need to keep an open mind, too.

"I was just curious about her hair. She doesn't have electromagnetism as I do, so I wanted to know how she managed to get it like that."

"And I'm guessing Teddy likes to style it for her?"

"Probably."

"You didn't get an answer?" I respond, scratching my head.

Midnight can't help but laugh just a bit. "No, because she took that as me wanting a demonstration of how to make braids. As well as other hairstyles."

"And you just left it at that."

Midnight casually shrugs. "One of the things she told me to try and do is to 'go with the flow.' Try not to question everything, just follow an interaction or discussion wherever it leads. I sort of thought it was a test, to be honest with you."

"Wow, she really had you jumping through loops today, didn't she?"

That came out wrong. Midnight probably knows it too, but that doesn't stop her from hardening her expression in disapproval.

"Sorry. I don't think enough before I speak."

"I could have told you that on day one."

"What I meant to say was she's really inspired you to make a change, just from one day."

"Well, yeah. Like I said - to meet someone else who has been through similar circumstances, but can get over it and find happiness without worrying about the next thing... it opened my eyes. She suggested a bit of it had to do with her having Teddy early on as support and I had basically nothing. Nothing but a revolving door of scientists and pencil pushers. I stopped paying any attention to them as they came and went - I probably couldn't pick out a single one from a lineup. I had me, and that was it."

Figuring the beef is good enough, I start adding the other ingredients to the skillet, before covering it up to let it simmer and cook the noodles. That done, I take a seat in my normal spot across from Midnight.

"I was reminded today about the first day we met," Midnight idly mentions. "I know it's really late but sorry for snapping at you back then."

There were a lot of short-temper instances in those first few days - most of it all blends together. But one does stick out.

"Was that the 'p-word' thing?" I tepidly inquire.

"Princess. And yes," she replies, nodding slowly.

"I never understood what that was all about, but I figured it was best not to ask. How did that get brought up?"

"Discussing each other's names and how they came to be. That was what they called me - never had an official name other than acronym jargon."

"Till the first day we met."

"Until that first day. Yes."

"I guess while we're on the subject of apologies, sorry for being a dick the first couple of days you were here living with me," I chime in. "I think we both know now I wasn't in a good mindset in general at that time, but I certainly wasn't receptive to giving a pony a chance. And then, of course, there's the antagonizing shit I did. So, sorry for... all of that."

"Guess both of us are sort of in the same boat, huh?"

"Needing to apologize? Yeah, I guess you're right."

But Midnight shakes her head. "No. Needing someone else to kick us out of our comfort zone and get us out of a rut."

"Hadn't thought of it like that... you sure Starla and you didn't just swap places? Or maybe she brainwashed you?"

"Maybe you need to shut your cock holster and give the food on the stove a stir," she calmly responds.

"Alright, that's definitely you."

I get up and tend to dinner, making sure things aren't starting to burn. It was starting to stick on the bottom...

"Do you still want to make this place closed to the public for the most part, or are you having second thoughts of that?"

"John, I'm willing to make a change for the better and give people a chance. That doesn't mean I want to become an all-out socialite," she clarifies, a little disturbed by my question. "Besides - there isn't any reason to stand around day after day waiting to go out and pick parts when we might see three whole customers in that time."

"I'm just gauging where you're at, that's all."

She sighs, her muscles going slack and letting her chin hit the counter with a thump. "As much as I try to pretend, my head is a mess, John. It really is," she mumbles.

"Middie, you said yourself you need to just stop thinking so much," I try to reason with her. "Today was an impactful day - you aren't going to come up with all the answers at once."

"I know. I just don't like having answers. And it's like my brain won't shut up about it."

"Just one day at a time, Midnight. That's all we gotta do."

She looks up at me, rather unimpressed with the response I have to offer.

I just have to give her a look of sympathy. it feels like this is a move in the right direction. But it is going to be hard for her.

And in reality, there's not much I can do aside from being a cheerleader.

It's a frustrating feeling. In some respects, it almost feels like a step back. But it is a new challenge.

And then there's the other bombshell. Midnight cares about me - but doesn't really know much about that 'caring.'

That brings so many more questions to my mind. Does it mean that she's considering what Teddy has with Starla? Maybe there was some discussion about that today, too - and she didn't want to divulge that detail.

I can't really ask about that bit. She has enough on her plate now.

I will have to wait - which was already set in my mind, but...

Well, it feels like the door may have been opened a crack, and I now have to restrain myself from peeking.

I really don't know how long I zoned out considering all of these new obstacles.

Turning to check on Midnight, I find her eyes glued to the countertop again.

This may end up with some uncomfortably awkward few days ahead while everything slowly shakes out. It's a sobering thought, after feeling like things had finally clicked with both of us finding our respective places.

I distract myself by consciously checking on the progress of dinner.

Looks pretty close...

But I feel the overwhelming need to get things back to normal. Even if only a temporary measure.

I spoon out a single, sauce-covered noodle and carefully pick it up with my bare fingers. Feeling Midnight's eyes gazing upon what I am doing, I toss the noodle behind me at the wall, before turning around.

It splatters against the white-painted plaster, leaving an orange-red stain at ground zero before it falls to the floor.

"What the fuck was that?"

"Checking to see if the noodles are done, duh," I say as if it's the most obvious thing in the world.

"Why not just try eating one?"

"Because it's hot. I don't want to burn my mouth."

Midnight stares, mouth agape as she tries to comprehend my excuses.

"I swear, you have to be retarded on some level."

"Didn't we already discuss this before? Of course I'm retarded."

As Midnight comes off of the initial shock of my antics, a relaxed smile slowly graces her face. She knows what that was all about.

"Thanks."

"Don't thank me just yet- dinner isn't dished out," I say, turning off the burner and bringing the skillet over to the island. Setting it on a hot pad, Midnight takes a whiff of what awaits while I grab plates out of the cupboard.

"It at least smells decent enough," she comments.

"It's good, I think you will like it."