Eternal flame of Daybreaker

Excerpt from the book Diary of Daybreaker

There was still much ahead, but one thing was certain!

No one would return to the era of the sisters' rule, no matter how much we might wish for it. Many trials await us, but I will face them boldly and lead my people forward, as befits an Empress!

Equestria is civilization!

Equestria is order!

Equestria is power!

And here, we are Equestria!

—Daybreaker, the Iron Empress

End of Volume One.

***

From the Moon’s Perspective

“This… this can’t be…” I refused to accept the truth. Could it really be as described here?

“Daybreaker… she suffered so much…” I covered my mouth with a hoof, utterly stunned. “P-Poor thing…” As I uttered those words, everything began to blur before my eyes. I hadn’t even noticed how deeply her story had gripped me, to the point where I found myself crying by the end. Celestia and I had condemned her to such suffering… I can’t put into words the pain that now filled my heart. Because of our quarrel, not only Daybreaker suffered, but the entire kingdom… And yet, despite everything, she alone managed to lead the ponies forward. To one day show Celestia the world she had built. And as for Celestia herself…

“Oh stars, what is happening…” I slumped weakly into the chair. Celestia had already lowered the sun, and here I was, still sitting in the library, weeping…

“Alright, pull yourself together!” I tried to wipe away the tears, but they wouldn’t stop. Celestia must be looking for me by now. But now I have an overwhelming task ahead…

“How am I supposed to reconcile them?” I clung to the thought. The solution seems so simple on one hand, but on the other… Oh, heavens…

***

After shredding a pillow to pieces and overcoming a panic attack, I finally managed to clear my head. I buried myself deep under the blanket, trying to process everything that had happened to me. Well, let’s start from the beginning: I died after being pushed in front of a train. I don’t remember who or why, but the only thing I recall is an overwhelming desire to live, as if nothing was truly lost. I forgot my name, only vague fragments of memories remain—faceless people who were once my family, colleagues, friends. All of it vanished into the void along with my past life. The only thing I carried over were collections of punk rock songs. And the horror… The only thing I took with me were those melodic lines that warmed my soul in moments when I needed it most.

“So who am I now?” One question logically followed another. Now I’m a mare, a villain, a murderer, a manipulator, a puppeteer, and not a kind soul at all. Empress Daybreaker herself, for crying out loud!

“What the hell… how did I end up like this?!” I mused with morbid curiosity. Once upon a time, I was just an ordinary office worker, and now… a mare…

And what’s more, Daybreaker’s memories don’t feel foreign or repulsive to me. On the contrary, when her memories cascaded over me, I felt… lighter. As if I had relived them, they completed me, made me remember who I am… or who I was?

I haven’t quite figured out the whole gender identity thing yet, but I consider it disrespectful to think of myself in the feminine—at the very least, I don’t want to forget who I was. In public, though, I’ll probably have to use feminine pronouns, because otherwise it would seem too strange. And they might send me to the pony asylum, and I really don’t want to spend the rest of my life rotting there.

As for Daybreaker’s memories, I haven’t recalled all of them yet, but even with what I have, the puzzle is slowly coming together. I never thought the world I once watched on TV actually existed, and that it could be so… complex, I guess? Turns out, behind the façade of a cartoon about kindness and friendship lies a very dark past.

“Celestia…” The first name that came to mind filled me with incredible aggression. My teeth began to grind, emitting a horrifying screech. Just the mention of her name was enough to make me gnaw on the blanket in rage. Oh, that sun-addled fool really messed things up…

“Oh, wait, I’m sun-addled too now, pfft-ha-ha…” I chuckled, and the aggression began to subside. Though it’s not fair to blame her alone, I’m also at fault…

“At fault, damn it!” I scolded myself for the slip-up. I made a rule, after all! In any argument, both sides are to blame! Though back then, it was only Celestia and Luna who stirred up this mess on a national scale, and I was the one who had to clean it up. Not with a teaspoon, but with a ladle! And Daybreaker started with good intentions, only to end up with bloodshed…

“As the ponies say: the road to Tartarus is paved with good intentions!” I nodded approvingly at my own convictions.

“So, as long as I live, I’ll be the ultimate pony pacifist!” I firmly decided. In my past life, I’ve already spilled enough blood… Enough! I’ve had my fill of war! But one question still tormented me.

“Should I even live in this world?” I examined my beautiful blood-red mane. A very difficult question… If you think about it, there’s no real reason. Daybreaker has lived long enough, and so have I.

“Is there a place for me in this new world?” I hunched over, burying myself deeper into the pillow. A sudden wave of depressive thoughts sent shivers down my spine. I’ve always thought about death, both in my past life and now. But there’s one difference.

My attitude toward it has changed. If before I clung to every chance to survive, to live not because of, but in spite of everything, now I don’t feel that desire… As if achieving that goal made the desire to “live” disappear. And with such a past, even more so… After all, I’m an alicorn now. I’ve been granted eternity! But why do I need it? It’s not like I asked for it. One thing I’ve figured out for sure.

“Daybreaker and I need to die…” I peeked out from under the blanket to look around. Creatures like us don’t belong in this bright and fluffy world. I feel an uncomfortable sense of rejection, as if this world is pushing me away. Maybe that’s for the best—should I jump off the balcony of this tower? As a protest! Or maybe not? I don’t see any bandages on me. Could alicorn regeneration really be that fast? And after those memories, I’ve been walking much better. I wonder what that means?

“But I should still test my wings!” Motivated, I stepped out onto the balcony. It was early morning. The first rays of sunlight gently touched me, wrapping me in warmth. The sun greeted me softly, and I wanted to greet it back. Before me lay an incredible sight. The entire city of Canterlot was spread out below me… or rather, beneath my hooves. The city was dotted with quaint little houses, their domed roofs adorned with various banners.

“It’s like something out of a fantasy…” I noted. I’d never seen such fascinating architecture. It most closely resembled buildings from the early Renaissance or late medieval period. A very unique style, with hints of Romanesque influence. For a moment, I was mesmerized by the view… But I had more important matters to attend to. Namely, testing my wings, and if they failed, to end it all! Sounds like a plan!

“Alright, how did that song go…” I scratched my head in thought. The answer came quickly. The pleasant morning breeze caught my red mane, making it dance in an unknown rhythm, and I began to sing!

“The wind blew my cap away,” a beautiful, majestic female voice sang in stunning harmony. “I wanted love, but it didn’t go my way…” I sang with a hint of regret. “I know nothing in life can be undone,” I paused, preparing to take a desperate step.
“And now I have only one path to take!” I stomped my hoof and climbed onto the balcony railing. “With a running start, I’ll leap from the cliff,” I spread my wings and jumped over the railing, heading straight for the ground. The wind immediately caught me as I fell.

“Here I was, and now I’m gone!” I continued singing in my head, folding my wings into an arrow. The force of the wind was so strong, it felt like riding in a convertible at 75 miles per hour. My mane fluttered wildly in the gusts.

…

“This is incredible… So this is what it’s like to fly!” The sensation completely blew my mind. It was as if the ground had disappeared beneath me, and I was entirely at the mercy of the air. I didn’t even notice how quickly I was approaching the ground. But I didn’t jump just to test my wings. There was another desire, deeper, hidden, I’d say.

“I want to die…” All these reincarnation stories are completely alien to me. My soul, like Daybreaker’s, desires only one thing. Peace…

“But am I ready to die?” The question haunted me. Am I ready to leap from this tower and splatter on the ground below? Do I deserve such a death? Some say, “We don’t choose our death.” Bulgakov wrote in The Master and Margarita: “Yes, human is mortal. But that’s only half the trouble. The worst part is that he’s suddenly mortal, that’s the catch.” And now is the moment to decide whether to live in this world or to die. But suddenly, it hit me.

“It would be a disgrace for Daybreaker to die like this!” I put a firm end to that line of thought. I’m a warrior… or rather, she is. But now I’m Daybreaker, so it’s up to me to decide whether to live or not. And I deserve more! There’s only one way.

“To die in battle!” I concluded my thoughts. My entire life has been a struggle. A struggle for a high position at work, for survival, for my country. It’s all so binding, as if I have no other purpose in life. So I should meet my death with dignity, as befits Daybreaker.

“WHERE AM I FLYING?!” I snapped out of my thoughts and realized I was about to crash into some… gathering?! Below, there were many guards in golden armor, and across from them stood darker ponies. Celestia was greeting the guests, with Luna and another alicorn of a purplish-pink hue standing behind her. Knowledge from my past life told me this was Princess Mi Amore Cadenza, though I’d yet to meet her. Everything would’ve been fine if I weren’t hurtling straight toward the center of this event!

“I’M GOING TO SPLATTER ALL OVER THE PLACE!” I began to panic, flailing my wings in every direction. But it didn’t help! I had no idea how to control them, let alone fly! Ugh, this landing is going to be rough…

“What if I try this?!” I spread my wings wide, like opening a parachute. The pressure on my newly acquired limbs was immense. I thought they might tear off, but then…

BAM

I crashed to the ground with a loud thud. A cloud of dust rose around me, leaving everyone else in a state of complete shock. Somehow, I managed to tuck and roll, bending my legs to avoid breaking anything. But the brunt of the impact was on my rear end. Specifically, my butt…

“Ow, my poor flank…” I rubbed the sore spot, trying to ease the throbbing pain. Oh, why am I sprawled out in the middle of this event?! Not good! If you’re going to make a scene, do it with a straight face, as if it’s all part of the plan!

CLANG

As if on cue, I stood up, and the sound of clashing spears echoed around me. They probably thought I was an enemy. This brings back memories… I’m curious to see their faces when they realize who just crashed their little gathering!

…

As the dust settled, I found myself face-to-face with a delegation of bat ponies. “Shocked” didn’t quite capture their expressions—they were utterly dumbfounded. Eyes wide, mouths agape. But I noticed something else. The entire palace guard had surrounded me. They all stared at me with clear confusion, much like the bat ponies…

“Lower your spears!” Celestia commanded, sighing heavily. I turned slightly to get a good look at her “lovely” face. Oh, the range of emotions on display. Her ears were drooping, her mouth tightly shut, lips pursed, and her brows furrowed. Her eyes conveyed everything from simple anger to sheer contempt. She’s not happy to see me, to say the least! I think if it weren’t for the bat ponies, Celestia would’ve had me quartered on the spot, and with great enthusiasm. Her gaze, fixed on me, stirred some primal feelings. But one thing was confirmed by that look.

“Yes, Celestia is still the same…” I noted grimly. She still hates me as much as before, if not more. Part of me, however, grew even more wary—or rather, angrier in response. There was something deep within me, buried in my soul. For now, I shouldn’t reopen old wounds. Who knows how that might backfire? I snorted demonstratively and turned my head toward the newly arrived bat ponies.

“We greet Her Majesty, Empress Daybreaker!” The dark ponies saluted me in unison, their expressions shifting. From shock to… devotion?! That was the first thought that came to mind, and it matched what I was seeing. “We’ve been awaiting your return!”

“How did history change so much in such a short time?!” I noted with surprise. It seemed like just yesterday Daybreaker was slaughtering bat ponies, executing some with particular cruelty. And now they’re saluting me as if I’m some Nightmare Moon. It’s strange… What could’ve happened after those terrible events?

“Greetings, honored guests!” I replied loudly, extending a hoof in respect. The highest-ranking bat pony stepped forward and shook my hoof, responding to my friendly gesture. Her high status was evident from her armor. A dark blue metal alloy, resembling the night sky, was adorned with golden trim. Her appearance spoke for itself: a strong jaw, cherry-red eyes with vertical pupils, and a neatly tied bun.

“I am Shadow Knight, Your Majesty. I am the current general of the bat pony army. It’s an honor to meet you!” she said with fiery eyes. It made me a bit uncomfortable. To look at me with such admiration, after all I’ve done to their kind… It’s hard to accept…

“L-Likewise, I assume you’ve come to confirm that Princess Luna is alive?” I asked awkwardly, to which she promptly nodded. Even with my sluggish mind, it was obvious they hadn’t come just for a visit. They were here because of the news that the Princess of the Night had returned. “In that case, here she is, alive and well!” I gestured toward the frozen Luna. She seemed to snap out of her daze as soon as I mentioned her, and the bat ponies immediately approached her, bowing joyfully.

“O Great One, it truly is you!” they exclaimed, bowing deeply before the one they loved with all their hearts. “We are so glad to see you in good health!” A small smile crept onto my face at those words. I don’t know if it was because of this long-awaited reunion or something else. But I suddenly realized I’d forgotten how to smile… A normal pony wouldn’t even call this expression a smile.

“Oh, please, rise!” Luna commanded kindly. “Tell me, how fares the bat pony nation?” she asked warmly. They began to recount the details of their lives.

CLOP CLOP CLOP

Suddenly, she was striding toward me, forcing me to focus all my attention on her. The one who had been staring at me this whole time. Princess Celestia, whose grim expression did nothing to enhance her beauty, was approaching me.

“What kind of spectacle are you trying to pull here?!” she demanded in a low voice, trying not to draw attention. “Do you have any idea how important this meeting is?” she scolded me like a child.

“I think if she keeps this up, she might slap me!” I noted with a half-smile.

“How should I handle this?” I racked my brain. On one hoof, my hooves are itching to punch her in the face! But on the other, this whole mess is entirely my fault. I do feel some remorse toward her, in a way. It would be hypocritical of me not to admit that she saved my life. She called the doctors and allowed me to live. I need to maintain a certain demeanor to avoid looking like a fool. How would Daybreaker respond? Oh, I know!

“What do you mean? I was greeting the bat ponies, as befits a ruler!” I closed my eyes and raised my head proudly, swishing my mane to stay in character.

“Wow, I’m really nailing this villain act!” I thought smugly. A few more scenes like this, and I might just win an Oscar!

“Ugh, you’re insufferable!” she stomped her hoof, clearly wanting to say more, but I acted first.

“By the way, Celly, have you put on some weight?” I gave her a scrutinizing look, making sure she noticed. Oh, her reaction was priceless. Her face turned bright red, and she looked like a teapot about to boil over. Alright, time to make my exit before she actually quarters me!

“Oh, I’m so sorry…” I shook my head playfully. “I didn’t mean to bring up your sweet tooth…” I quickly trotted away from her toward Luna, who had already started heading toward the castle entrance with the bat ponies. Celestia was starting to scare me. I might’ve overdone it a bit, time to wrap this up!

“W-What did you just say?! How dare you—” she spat out in anger, but I stopped listening. Better to keep my distance from Celestia for now, just in case…

I carefully approached Luna and positioned myself slightly behind her, relative to where Celestia was standing.

“Like a foal hiding behind its mother, for heaven’s sake!” I quipped to myself, though my body was far too noticeable to make it a convincing act. Luna immediately reacted to my presence.

“Oh, Daybie, I was just about to call for you…” she began, but I cut her off.

“Yes, that’s all well and good, but could we move somewhere farther away from here?” I said quietly, subtly shifting my gaze toward Celestia in a way that Luna noticed. Celestia looked ready to tear me to shreds, or so it seemed.

“Yes, of course, let’s go!” she agreed and marched into the castle, with me trailing behind her, doing my best not to look back.

“This reminds me of something…” I noted, watching the Princess of the Night’s gait. There was something… familiar about it.

***

The sound of hooves echoed through the grand royal corridor. Luna was wearing her regalia as the Princess of the Night, which added to the loud clattering.

“Where are we going?” I asked, confused, glancing around.

“Where do you think? To the baths!” she replied cheerfully. “I promised to show you this magnificent place, after all,” she added. “And you could use a wash!” she stated matter-of-factly. I had to admit, she had a point. Wait…

“Did she just tease me?” I caught a hint of playful sarcasm in her tone. Since when did she get so bold? Or rather, why did she phrase it like that?

“What?” I replied, pretending not to hear. “For your information, I’m a clean and pristine pony!” I protested, stomping a hoof.

“Once you’ve washed up, you can call yourself that!” she chided. “You’ve got dust and bits of stone all over your coat!” she pointed out, forcing me to take a closer look at my fur.

“Damn, she’s right…” I saw what she meant. The once-glorious coat of Daybreaker was gone, replaced by a dusty, dull, and coarse mess that didn’t hold a candle to its former glory.

“Fine, lead me to this ‘bath’…” I conceded, not feeling up for an argument.

“That’s more like it!” she replied with enthusiasm. “By the way, here we are!” she gestured toward a pair of large doors.
The doors swung open, revealing a place I’d never seen before. The first thing that greeted me in the Canterlot baths was the scent. The air was filled with the aroma of herbs and assorted flowers, reminding me of a flower shop from my past life.
Following the sweet fragrance was the equally noble lighting of the spacious room. Large stained-glass windows lined the walls, their intricate mosaics creating a screen-like effect. Yet sunlight streamed through them effortlessly, bathing the space in warm, golden rays.

The bath itself was fit for royalty. Several large tubs stood ready, with low cabinets nearby stocked with shampoos, oils, creams, and other cosmetics—things I, and Daybreaker, rarely bothered with. The tubs were already filled with water, as Luna had ordered them prepared earlier. Steam rose gently from the water, signaling that it was hot.

“Your Highness,” a maid addressed Luna. “Do you require our assistance?” she offered, bowing respectfully.

“No, that won’t be necessary,” Luna replied curtly. “We’ll manage on our own!” With that, the maids left the bath, closing the door behind them.

“Come on in, Daybie!” she nudged me as I stood frozen, staring at the tubs. “Go on, get in!” she instructed while she went to pick out various shampoos.

“You don’t need to boss me around, I want to wash up too…” I replied calmly and made my way to the largest tub.

“Alright, one hoof at a time…” I carefully began to lower myself into the water. It was a bit tricky with four legs, so I decided to take it slow.

“Hot!” I yanked my hoof out of the water. “Does it really need to be this hot?” I asked nervously, turning to Luna. She simply shook her head.

“It’s just right for scrubbing off all that grime,” she chirped, continuing to browse the cabinets.

“I don’t remember ever taking hot baths…” I muttered, staring at the water. I also noticed the maids had hastily tossed flower petals into the tub, making the already luxurious water even more extravagant.

“Like a little foal, honestly!” I chuckled to myself and dipped my hoof back in. This time, it felt more tolerable. After standing like that for a moment, I began to lower the rest of my body. The hot water enveloped me, forcing a heavy sigh. Apparently, my rough landing had taken a toll on me. Or maybe hot baths really were this good? My red mane grew wet and fell into my face, forcing me to constantly tuck it back. The tub itself was surprisingly comfortable for my large frame. It must’ve been designed specifically for alicorns. Along its sides were shelves where I could rest my hooves and lounge.
“This is nice…” I sprawled out, exhausted. Luna chuckled at my reaction, as if to say, “I told you so.”

“Which shampoo do you want?” she deftly levitated several bottles and showed them to me. I examined the array of colorful liquids, each labeled with a flower and a name.

…

I didn’t spend too long looking, but I couldn’t decide on one. A memory of Daybreaker surfaced—when she returned from a grueling mission, exhausted, with no luxury in sight. Back then, she washed with plain soap in cold water, using an uncomfortable basin. Not much had changed in her life since then, as far as I could recall… Yet even in those seemingly awful moments, she found something she enjoyed, something that reminded her of better times… I admired that about her.

“We never lived in luxury, so why start now?” I thought and firmly raised a hoof to decline the fancy shampoos.

“Just bring me some plain soap,” I said calmly.

“But…” she started to protest, but I cut her off.

“It’s an old habit I haven’t been able to break…” I explained. Luna’s expression darkened at my words: her smile faded, and her eyes showed a hint of pity. Her reaction surprised me. How could she react like that? I thought she’d stand her ground. Wait…

“Luna, do you know everything?” I wondered. It couldn’t be possible for her to know about this. Only I, Daybreaker, knew about it. Or did she?

“Alright…” she nodded slightly and returned to the cabinets, slowly putting the shampoos back. On the bottom shelf, she found a bar of plain soap and handed it to me.

I began scrubbing the dirt off my coat, creating a sea of foam around me. After thoroughly soaping up every inch, I moved on to my head. Luna stood silently, seemingly lost in thought, which made me a bit uneasy. But as soon as I started washing my mane, she suddenly perked up and grabbed a few brushes.

“Daybie, let me groom your coat…” she practically pleaded. How could I say no to such a sweet request? Besides, it’d probably feel amazing! Only an idiot would refuse. Decision made!

“Sure,” I beckoned her with a hoof. “I don’t mind!” I agreed, and her eyes lit up even brighter. It caught me off guard. She picked up a soft brush and began scrubbing my back.

“Gah!” I couldn’t hold back the wave of pleasure that washed over me like a tsunami. Goosebumps spread across my body, making my brain tingle. I never thought grooming could feel this good! It was like having your head scratched, but even better! I couldn’t even describe it—it was like being groomed and massaged at the same time.

“What’s wrong, Daybie?” she asked, clearly not expecting such a reaction.

“N-Nothing…” I squeaked, blushing. “It just feels nice…” I added, feeling utterly embarrassed. I immediately dunked my head underwater to avoid seeing her reaction. Otherwise, I might’ve died of shame!

…

Fortunately, Luna didn’t say anything, just continued brushing my coat. However, the problem didn’t go away. It felt so good that I simply lay in the tub while she kept grooming me. In fact, my body actively helped her by presenting various spots for her to brush. But at one point, she suddenly stopped.

“Daybie, why aren’t you using a magical barrier?” she asked, a faint blush appearing on her face.

“What? What barrier?!” I asked, confused.

“D-Down there…” she stammered as I dunked my head.

“What’s down there?” I asked again, completely lost.

“You, uh… how do I put this…” she hesitated. “You’re… exposed down there!”

“WHAT?!” I shouted at the top of my lungs, leaping out of the tub and splashing water everywhere…