Eternal flame of Daybreaker

“Is it working?” I asked, my voice tinged with nervousness.

“It’s working!” Luna nodded approvingly. “Everything’s fine, Daybie!”

“Are you sure it’s working?” I decided to double-check. I still didn’t know this spell. Damn it, I thought ponies just walked around like this. Does that mean I was completely exposed in front of the bat ponies?! Shit…

“Yes!” she snapped. “I told you, everything’s fine… Daybie?” Luna gave me a strange look.

“What’s with her?” I wondered, puzzled by her expression. Why is she looking at me like that?

“What?!” I stammered, taking two steps back.

“Why are you blushing?” she teased, making me aware of my flushed face. Damn it, my cheeks were burning!

“I-I’m not blushing!” I shook myself to get rid of the water. Droplets flew everywhere. “Just give me a towel!” I quickly changed the subject. But Luna wasn’t in a hurry to hand it over. She just stared at me, making me blush even harder!

“Stop looking at me like that!” I stomped my hoof, no longer embarrassed. Enough of this comedy. Besides, I didn’t even know about this spell. There’s nothing like it in Daybreaker’s memories!

“Alright, alright,” she said calmly, walking over to the cabinet. “Here’s your towel,” she levitated it to me with her magic. I didn’t dare try to pick it up with my horn. As Luna explained, my magic was extremely unstable right now. And I didn’t understand it anyway—only a few fragments of Daybreaker’s spells remained in my head. For now, I’d have to rely on my hooves. And what a pain these limbs are! They’re kind of like hands, but not really. I can grab objects with my hooves, as if magnetically attracted. Let’s call it “hoof-kinesis.” I can also hold smaller objects, like a spoon or soap. A very interesting feature! Oh, and another strange thing—my mane. According to Daybreaker’s memories, it should be ablaze. But back then, I didn’t feel any heat from it. Daybie called it a “magical glow.” Now, it’s just red locks. How did that happen? I need to figure this out…

I took the towel with my hoof and began vigorously drying my wet coat. It wasn’t easy, so I rubbed even harder. Even though I couldn’t remember my old body, my habits hadn’t changed. For example, I always sang in the shower.

“Think positive: the glass is always half full, always,” I hummed softly to myself as I dried off. “Feel the good, the bad doesn’t exist. Between ‘no’ and ‘yes,’ the only choice is ‘yes,’” I continued, moving on to my mane. “Believe in the best, life is a dance under the watchful eye of the Sun,” I muttered to myself, somehow recalling the version of the song Daybreaker had come up with. “Repeat this mantra often, repeat it, even if it sounds lame…”

“You’re not afraid, only because you haven’t been scared yet…” I turned around and sang the next lines, but then stopped. What I saw in front of me froze me in place. Luna was standing there, wide-eyed and stunned. Her ears were folded back, and her lips were slightly pursed.

“What’s wrong with her?” I panicked. Luna was looking at me with such an intense gaze, as if she’d heard something she never wanted to hear. But wait… How does she know this song?! Does she know something?! Damn it, this is starting to seriously stress me out. She definitely knows something! But how?

“L-Luna?” I called out to her in a trembling voice. She seemed to snap out of it.

“Yes?” she asked, her expression less shocked now.

“You had this look on your face…” I shuddered slightly. “Is everything okay?” I asked seriously, hoping for an equally serious answer.

“Yes, everything’s fine…” she waved a hoof dismissively, as if it were nothing. She turned to the windows and stared at the stained glass for a few seconds. But then she suddenly turned back to me with clear… confusion? “Daybie, would you like to have dinner with me tonight?” she asked, as if the answer to this question meant everything to her. How could I say no when she was looking at me like that? It was like she was staring straight into my soul. I couldn’t possibly refuse.

“Of course, why not?” I reassured her, and she let out a relieved sigh.

“Thank you,” she said, a gentle smile appearing on her face. It was so kind, the kind of look only one person had ever given me. Unfortunately, I couldn’t remember who that was. Damn it, why is my head filled with nothing but nonsense, while everything precious to me has vanished from my memory? For some reason, deep down, I felt like being with her could make me forget what had happened to me. But something like that isn’t easily forgotten…

I lowered my gaze, unable to look at her any longer. In moments like these, I felt more and more like I didn’t belong in this world. As if it were rejecting me. Daybreaker and I had been drained and spat back out for fate’s amusement, forced to live in this sweet, paradisiacal place. All the crap we’d been through, all of it, had become completely irrelevant. But the pain, the horror—it all remained in my heart. Like a brand seared into it. And this scar wouldn’t heal anytime soon, if ever. It felt like someone was genuinely mocking me. I had no place in this world… Damn it, these depressive thoughts again.

“Alright, I’ll head back to my room…” I forced out, not looking up, and slowly made my way to the door.

“Daybie…” Luna stopped me, and I paused, turning my head toward her.

“Yes?” I replied calmly, hoping she’d let me go quickly. I wanted to bury myself in a blanket and think for a while. And since when did I become so sensitive? Damn it, I never used to sink into this dark pit of depression.

“Your armor has been delivered to your chambers,” her words snapped me out of my thoughts like a splash of cold water.

“Well, at least that’s some good news!” I softened my gaze. I could use some armor right now! Everyone I’ve met here has been kind to me, except for one. But I’m pretty sure that’s temporary. I need to be ready for anything. The first thing Daybreaker’s past taught me is to always be on guard. To be ready to die at any moment. Yeah, she’s had a rough time…

“Alright, call me tonight, okay?” I replied with a forced smile and headed for the door. I definitely had a lot to think about…

***

“Come on!” I strained, tensing my neck, then my head, then everything at once. Damn it, it’s not working! Just when I decided to try something useful, as usual, nothing worked. And why did I even bother with this “magic” stuff? I’m a proponent of rationalism and skepticism. So something like magic is akin to illusionist tricks to me. But what I saw in Daybreaker’s memories wouldn’t let me go. The way she skillfully wielded fire magic amazed me. I’ve always loved watching the flames dance from my gasoline lighter. There was something… mesmerizing about it. As if I found answers to my questions in the flickering of the fire. That alone made me truly desire the art of fire magic.

So here I was, sitting for an hour, straining every part of my body to get closer to my goal. In Daybreaker’s memories, there were echoes of spells. Like fragments torn from her mind. They were just constructs of spells. Nothing more, nothing less. As if they needed something else… But what? Maybe I don’t have any mana at all? And it’ll appear over time? I’d like to think so, but time isn’t on my side. I have a very bad feeling… A sense of unease that won’t leave me. Like I’m on the brink of something fateful. This can’t be good! I need to try again!

“Alright, Daybreaker’s memories, focus!” I directed myself, digging through my mind. It was still foggy, but not as thick as before. I could feel the right construct, focusing only on it. Now, tense the neck, then the horn, and…

BANG

A sudden burst of energy from my horn created a peculiar object in front of me.

“A coin?!” I examined the strange item. A round, golden coin had materialized out of thin air. From my mana?! This coin wasn’t from my world—it was large and fit comfortably in my hoof. Could this be the currency of this world? It seemed so. Knowledge from my head suggested it was called a “bit.” And where did this information even come from… Whatever, forget the information, but the whole spell…

“Apparently, Daybreaker had a hand in this…” I concluded logically, rubbing my chin. So many secrets, so many unanswered questions. I don’t even know what to do… One thing’s for sure: if I can create a coin out of nothing, it could mean financial independence. It’s always nice to have some capital. So I need to conjure as many coins as I can!

“I must build my fortune!” I was fired up by the idea and assumed a more comfortable position for casting. I had a lot of work ahead of me!

***

“Ugh, damn it!” I cursed loudly. My newly acquired horn hurt so much that I was on the verge of passing out. It felt like a red-hot nail had been driven into my head. A very unpleasant sensation. I needed to stop, or I’d drop dead right here!

“Hoo…” I collapsed onto the bed, exhausted. I managed to create exactly twenty coins. I thought I’d make it to thirty, but by the twenty-first, my horn started failing, and my legs gave out.

“Ha…” I sprawled out on the small bed like a seal and stared at the ceiling. Vague doubts plagued me. The sun was already setting, making way for the night sky. It was getting dark, and Luna still hadn’t come.

“Did something happen?!” I jumped out of bed. Maybe poor Luna was being reprimanded by Celestia because of me? For now, that sun-addled sweet tooth was threat number one. I was genuinely afraid of her, especially after what I said to her this morning. Now I was even scared to approach her. Why did I have to spout such nonsense?! I needed to check the dining hall! What if Luna was eating alone? Although, given Celestia’s love for her little sister, that seemed unlikely. In that case, I definitely needed to check the dining hall! I was starving, and this horn…

“Ow!” I barely touched it, and a sharp pain shot through my head.

“Time to go!” I walked over to Daybreaker’s armor and stared at it, wondering how to put it on. The hoof guards were straightforward: step in, click. The helmet wasn’t too complicated either. But I’d have to leave it off for now. There was a hole in it for the horn, which made me nervous. I didn’t want to disturb that limb any further. Especially with my clumsiness—I could barely stand on my hooves, let alone put on a helmet without hitting my horn. For now, I’d have to go without it. But what about the wings? There were some patches for them.

“Well, as they say, the eyes are afraid, but the hands do the work!” I started putting on the armor. Or should I say hooves? Whatever!

…

The hoof guards clicked into place without issue. I just had to slide my hooves into them. But the wing guards took some effort. I had to relax my wing completely and spread it out, which wasn’t easy in this new body. Then I carefully attached the armor to the bone. Thankfully, they clipped on comfortably and didn’t restrict movement. All in all, it took me twenty minutes to get fully dressed. And I was ready!

“Alright, let’s go!” I stomped loudly and swung the door open. What lay ahead was clearly going to be a challenging event!

***

Fortunately, I managed to shake off the guard. All I had to do was say I was heading to the dining hall for a meal, and he immediately left his post to attend to his own business. Interesting, why? He should’ve been following me as a personal guard or something. But he didn’t. Which made me think that not everything in this castle was as rosy as it seemed.

“He’s definitely reporting my every move…” Logical chains formed in my head like bridges being built. But to whom? Celestia was the first suspect. But she probably wasn’t the only one controlling the guards. She had subordinates. There was a commander of the Canterlot guard. The only problem was, I couldn’t remember his name. Something to do with armor…

“Ugh, my stupid head!” I scolded myself, but I had to set that question aside for now. My legs, as if by memory, carried me toward what I assumed was the main dining hall. And so, clattering loudly down the grand royal corridor, I arrived at a pair of small golden doors guarded by two sentries.

“This must be the dining hall!” I realized instantly. But how did my legs know the exact route here? Did Daybreaker spend time in this castle too? But how? However, as soon as I tried to enter, they stopped me.

“Entry is forbidden!” they crossed their spears in front of me. “The dining hall is currently occupied by the Rulers of Equestria. State your name!” they commanded in unison, but they seemed to have overlooked one important detail.

“I AM ALSO A RULER OF EQUESTRIA!” I clenched my hooves in fury. I was barely holding back from knocking these blockheads out of here. Calm down… Calm down… Inhale, exhale!

“Hoo,” I exhaled slowly. “Empress Daybreaker, Ruler of Equestria!” I declared loudly and authoritatively, forcing these dimwits to think. They hesitated, clearly intimidated. As if the mere combination of those words instantly sowed fear in the hearts of other ponies. Well, that suited me just fine! But they seemed to have a response ready.

“In that case, we must announce your arrival to everyone in the dining hall,” they replied, less loudly this time. Oh no, I wasn’t going to let them have that satisfaction!

“That won’t be necessary!” I cut them off. “I don’t need an introduction!” Ignoring them, I pushed the doors open.
The doors swung open with a loud creak, silencing everything inside. If I were asked to describe this dining hall in one word, I’d call it “regal.” The decor was made of white stone mixed with gold. Stained-glass windows were adorned with luxurious curtains made of expensive fabric. Magical lamps lined the walls, bathing the room in a noble light. In the center stood a large round table, already occupied by three ponies.

“Damn it…” I cursed under my breath when I saw where I’d ended up. Luna, Cadance, and Celestia were peacefully dining in harmony until I showed up. Well, what can I say? Shit! Here comes Daybreaker in all her glory, ruining the family reunion. Oh, and the way Celestia’s looking at me now… Yeah, I’m definitely getting quartered…

Honestly, I immediately wanted to turn around and leave—like, “wrong door.” But I was already here, standing in full armor, wondering what to do next. On one hoof, leaving the room would’ve been rude, but on the other, I really didn’t want to be here. Especially in the company of that sweet tooth who was now glaring at me like she wanted to incinerate me.

“What would Daybreaker do?” I thought about slipping into the role of the villainous, scheming Empress. But would that even help? Last time, I really ticked off Celestia, and now I’m genuinely afraid of her. Maybe I should apologize and leave? Yeah, that’s what I’ll do.

“Sorry, wrong door,” I said without waiting for a response, turned on my hoof, and headed for the exit, but I was stopped.

“Daybie!” Luna jumped up from the table and rushed toward me. “Come on in,” she gestured warmly to the table, which was already set for four. Cadance was staring at the scene with her mouth open. Celestia, surprisingly, was also stunned by her younger sister’s behavior.

“And who might this lovely pony be?” I asked, shifting my gaze to the Princess of Love as if I genuinely didn’t know her.

“Good evening, I am Princess Mi Amore Cadenza,” she said in one breath, her tone formal and her expression polite as she extended a hoof. How did she manage to compose herself so quickly and deliver such a rehearsed line? Clearly, Celestia had trained her well in the art of official meetings. You could tell she wasn’t new to leadership.

“Mi Amore Cadenza…” I marveled at the name. It sounded very French. Maybe I should show off my rusty knowledge of French? No, what if French actually existed in ancient Equestria? There must be a reason she’s named that, right?

“Saluons tous la princesse de l'amour de tout mon cœur,” I took her hoof and kissed its base, as one would kiss the hand of a noble lady in my old world. “The Empress of Equestria warmly greets Princess Mi Amore Cadenza,” I translated into Equestrian. The pink alicorn blushed even harder. Her eyes were wide with shock, and her cheeks flushed with embarrassment.

“Y-You can just call me Cadance…” she squeaked, turning away slightly.

“Alright, Cadance,” I nodded approvingly and stood tall. “I assume this is my seat?” I gestured to the spot at the table, already set with a place setting.

“Yes, of course, sit down!” Luna urged me to start the meal. “The first course will be out soon,” she added, sparking a lively conversation. My seat was directly across from Celestia. She kept staring at me, though her gaze wasn’t as hateful as before. I’d say she was looking at me with clear distrust now. Probably expecting me to pull some stunt. Meanwhile, I was preparing myself for what might be the most awkward and tedious dinner of my life. It was already clear that I wouldn’t be eating in peace…

BANG

The doors to the central kitchen swung open, and the servants began bringing out dishes one after another. The once modest table was now overflowing with food. A servant placed a dish in front of me and lifted the lid. It was a soup, clearly vegetable-based, with what looked like… lavender flowers on top?

“What kind of soup is this?” I grimaced slightly. There was nothing about it that appealed to me. I mean, if it were just a regular vegetable soup, fine, but those flowers on top…

“Disgusting!” I thought, but at the same moment, I noticed the others starting to eat it slowly. Maybe it’s not so bad? Maybe my new body has different taste preferences? Ugh, why speculate? I’ll just have to try it!

…

“How am I supposed to eat this?” I looked at my utensils. They all seemed… childish, somehow? The spoon looked more like something you’d use to stir sugar into tea. And the fork—what a joke! You couldn’t even stab anything with it! I glanced at the other alicorns’ place settings, and they were completely different. Their utensils fit comfortably in their hooves, though they didn’t seem to need them, using telekinesis instead.

“Looks like someone in the staff decided to play a prank on me…” I muttered darkly, my teeth grinding on their own. Who would dare mess with an alicorn? If it was one of the servants, they definitely didn’t act alone.

“Someone’s pulling the strings…” The pieces were starting to come together in my head. She couldn’t have done this on her own. But who’s behind it?

“What has Celestia been saying about me in my absence?” I shot her a dark look. She just rolled her eyes and continued enjoying her meal. Well, let’s at least try to scoop up some soup with this spoon.

…

“Ugh, gross!” I pushed the “gourmet” soup away. It tasted like some kind of spinach cabbage soup or something equally awful they served in kindergarten. And how are the other Princesses eating this?! They seem to be enjoying it. Is my portion really that bad? Or maybe I just haven’t acquired a taste for local cuisine yet? One thing’s for sure: I’m leaving this dinner hungry and angry!

Meanwhile, the second course arrived. It was a small salad of cabbage leaves mixed with orange slices, apple pieces, and nuts on the side. Overall, it looked quite appetizing. A light salad, I guess it’ll do…

“How am I supposed to stab this?” I poked at it with the decorative fork like an idiot. Alright, I’ve had enough of this ridiculous circus with me as the star! So, I threw all norms of morality and etiquette out the window and started eating the salad straight from the plate. All three of them looked at me with stunned expressions.

“You don’t even know basic etiquette?” Celestia sneered, throwing a jab at me. I immediately bristled but kept my composure.

“It’s hard to follow etiquette in my current state…” I replied with a forced smile. The salad was okay, but it felt… empty, somehow? This salad would go well with fish… Ah, I could really go for something meaty right now, not this grass. “Do they serve fish here?” I decided to ask, and Celestia clicked her tongue in disapproval.

“No pony would ever eat meat!” Celestia hissed at me. “Except for you!” she glared at me. “Monster…” she muttered under her breath.

“What did you call me?!” I heard her loud and clear, despite her attempt to keep it quiet. Some internal trigger went off in me, putting my nervous system on high alert. My teeth began to grind even harder, baring my fangs in an angry snarl. My heart raced like crazy. It felt like I was about to explode like a matchstick.

“I called you what you are,” she shot back sharply, as if delivering another verbal slap. Something stirred in my chest. A sharp pain shot through my heart, making my already fragile psyche crack at the seams. Her words were like knives, stabbing into the deepest scars of my soul.

“Enough!” I jumped up from the table. “I won’t tolerate this anymore!” I blurted out. Anger consumed me completely. “I’m barely holding back from punching you in the face!” I stomped my hoof so hard that the stone beneath it cracked.

CLANG

A servant nearby wobbled with a tray of tea and fell, shattering all the dishes. The sound of breaking ceramics echoed through the room, like an allegory for my entire life. I won’t let anyone treat me like this! I fully understand Daybreaker’s motives and actions, and I’m ready to stand up for her if needed. But the old her is gone. Now, I am Daybreaker, and as long as I live, I won’t let her memory be tarnished. Dinner is ruined!

“Instead of dining peacefully with us, you’ve violated every norm of etiquette and decency, you murderer!” Celestia stood up, accusing me of every sin imaginable. “Get out of here!” she pointed to the door.

“You hurl insults at me and then kick me out?” Her last words completely ruined my mood. All the anger, resentment, and rage left me. Every emotion vanished. All that remained was apathy. A complete lack of drive or feeling. Everything felt… indifferent… Yes, I’m a monster, but at least I’m trying to live with it…

“Ha…” I exhaled wearily. “You know, Celestia, even though I’m a monster…” I paused, finally saying what Daybreaker never had the courage to, “I still have a heart…” I threw the words over my shoulder and walked out the door. I didn’t even think about looking back. In that moment, turning around was out of the question.

***

“Damn it!” I hurled the poor pillow across the room, feathers flying everywhere. I couldn’t keep Daybreaker’s temper in check. I wanted things to go smoothly, to have a peaceful meal, but no, of course not. I said everything I thought about Celestia to her face. And she, of course, fired back, leaving me seething. The worst part is, it wasn’t just the two of us—Luna and Cadance were there too…

“First impressions are definitely ruined…” I stared blankly at the pillow in the corner. After those cutting words, which felt more like blades, I was completely drained. Or rather, my hooves were… The worst part is, after this “incident,” my sense of unease grew even stronger. My subconscious was screaming that something was about to happen. A heavy feeling, like something was about to burst in my chest. Maybe I should go apologize? After all, in an argument, both sides are at fault, so I should be the first to make amends. It was already morning, the sun peeking over the horizon, greeting the world with its rays. Unfortunately, I hadn’t slept at all. I was completely immersed in the swamp of “Loneliness and Apathy.” It’s disgusting to realize that I have absolutely no one in this foreign world. No one close who could listen, sympathize, or empathize…

“Ugh, I don’t want to think about this anymore…” I got up wearily and decided to act. Maybe it’s not too late to fix things with Celestia?

I left my room and headed down the stairs. I decided to put on my armor again—it wouldn’t hurt to have it on. My horn wasn’t hurting as much, so I could wear the helmet now. In full gear, I felt a little calmer, even a bit more comfortable.
Clattering loudly, I made my way down the corridor toward Celestia’s chambers. But something caught my eye. The stained-glass windows along the walls depicted various events in pony history, from the overthrow of Discord to the imprisonment of the Great and Powerful Tirek. In each of these images, I found different meanings, subtexts, hidden behind the figures, the words the artists had woven into their work.

“These are truly magnificent paintings!” I marveled at the priceless works of art. Just then, some pompous jerk strutted past me without even a greeting!

“Who are you?” he suddenly stopped, addressing me, apparently. He looked quite noble, I’ll give him that. White coat, golden curls that cascaded into a curly mane. And he was dressed in something resembling a suit. Is he some kind of prince?

“I have a bad feeling about this…” I gave him a scrutinizing look. Something inside me warned me not to engage with him. What’s going on with my intuition?! What could he possibly do to an alicorn like Daybreaker?!

“Depends who’s asking,” I retorted sharply. Not knowing who I am is both stupid and dangerous… Dangerous for the one asking, of course.

“You will answer His Highness Blueblood!” a guard beside him interjected. From his demeanor, it was clear they weren’t going to let me off easily...