"They wrote about you." Ocellus was chewing gently on her food, there in the cafeteria. The sounds of other students conversing around them and the smells of delicious food filled the air. "My family."

I perked at that. "How are they doing?"

"They wondered why you stopped writing to them." She reached to give me a poke. "They liked getting your letters."

"Aw!" I smiled so awkwardly, unsure what to say exactly. "Um... Okay... I'll get back to writing them."

"They will be so happy." Ocellus clapped with easy joy. "There was one odd thing they told me. You are a stallion, right?"

I blinked, looking myself over as if unsure. "I look like a stallion?"

"They said you felt like a mare. They thought you were one. They were very surprised when I said you were a stallion." Ocellus inclined her head. "We changelings can be whatever we want, but we usually find a favorite and tend to give off that kind of energy." She curled a hoof at herself. "I'm a mare."

"A lovely mare." He considered her. She wasn't a mare, not technically. She was a female changeling. "Stupid question, please don't be mad, but do female changelings have a specific name, outside of pony terms?"

Ocellus recoiled, looking more surprised than offended. "That is not a question most would ask." She leaned in. "You're a funny pony. Changelings don't worry about that, unless they're a queen. I'm not a queen, so I am a changeling. A changeling that is most comfortable as a mare." She nodded, as if this was very obvious. "I could be a stallion if I wanted, but I don't want to."

I digested this lesson in changeling culture contemplatively as Ocellus patiently explained her people's more fluid definitions around concepts most species considered immutable foundations. Perhaps such adaptability enabled greater empathy across diverse perspectives.

"That flexibility makes a lot of sense from a shapeshifting race." I stirred my food absently. "Being less, uh, attached to forms must take some social pressures off too around roles and stuff." I hesitated unsure how to phrase things politely. "Is it rude asking if you have changeling terms for parents or is using pony mother/father okay?"

Ocellus nodded eagerly. "Oh we do have our own words but pony terms work fine too! I know other species get confused." She counted off on her hooves. "Our gender neutral parent is zar, mothers are damas, fathers are sars. And babies are nymphs!"

She smiled proudly at the impromptu lesson. "So my dama birthed me as a nymph then helped me choose this form as I got older! They were so patient..." She trailed off in happy reverie before focusing again curiously. "What about your terms? Oh wait - you said you were aliens before!"

I had to laugh at her belated realization. "Too true! Humans use mom for dama and dad for sars. No exact equivalent for zar that I know sadly." I rubbed the back of my neck feeling oddly wistful. "Funny how even between worlds some concepts feel...familiar, I guess."

I tapped at my cheek a moment. "I don' t have either, right now. One's a world away, and one's even further than that."

Ocellus inclined her head. "How do you get further than that? That's about as far as you can get..."

I pondered what I should even say. The truth? I went for that. "She is dead."

"Oh! Oh.... I'm sorry." She reached, just to hesitate. "You don't look sad."

I didn't feel especially sad. "I'm happier that we're talking, and I'm learning a few things."

"That's a good thing to be happy about." She pushed her plate aside, finished. "You feel like a pony I could ask without being looked at funny."

"Ask what?" I leaned in. "I've been told I'm easy to talk to sometimes. And very hard other times. I'm glad to hear I fall on the easy side for you. What's the question?"

"Just a little one." Ocellus buzzed her wings, reminding me she was far more of a beetle than the cartoon had implied. A pretty beetle, but a beetle. "If you could be a stallion or a mare, which would you pick? Pretend you were a changeling, and far away, so nopony knew you. It was entirely your decision. They don't know you and couldn't tell your friends or family. Which do you pick?"

I pondered Ocellus' hypothetical as she peered with innocent curiosity awaiting my response. With family tragically terminated and friends left behind in another world, which form might some isolated soul select starting life over if beholden to none?

I stirred my cooling soup contemplatively before answering slowly. "You know, if I was some nameless changeling in witness protection or something, I think I might actually try being..." I hesitated, then pushed ahead with building excitement uttering words never voiced aloud before. "I think I'd be intrigued waking up a mare one morning actually, yeah."

Ocellus' wings shivered in shared excitement. "Ohhh how wonderful!" She leaned in awed whispering. "Does this mean you feel more like a mare inside, deep down?" Those big innocent eyes searched mine enthralled by intimate implications.

My cheeks heated as I registered what I had revealed in speculative fantasy. "I uh, hmm." Carefully schooling features I considered her words reflecting within. "Maybe some part of me does lean kinda that way sometimes." I managed a self-conscious chuckle. "Heck of a revelation over lunch period huh?"

But Ocellus just smiled wider patting my hoof supportively. "It's wonderful having somecreature trust sharing vulnerable stuff - that's real friendship!" Her joy shone undimmed by society's stale strictures. "However you feel is just perfect as you are!"

I smiled. It was a forced smile, as if a camera were trained on me. I felt happy, and smiling felt like the proper response, so I smiled. She seemed to accept it as a natural reaction. "Thank you, for asking... Shoot."

"Shoot?" Ocellus blinked at that. "What are we shooting?"

"Your question's making me think over a lot of things."

"Anything I can help with?" She put a hoof on my arm. "I'd love to help."

Aw, I felt warm and fuzzy at Ocellus' offer, but also wasn't sure I wanted to gush at her about that. Well, an excuse to learn, perhaps? "Do changelings have... thoughts about making nymphs? Feel free to use this." I floated over some rolled paper and set it down. "Hit me with it if I ask or say something dumb."

She colored brightly. "Oh!" Her horn grabbed the paper, but she didn't hit me with it. "You're asking for real... So you deserve a real answer. Of course we do... We are alive. Most living things have to think about that a little. I don't, um, spend a lot of time..." She worried her hooves together. "Some of us do more, and some of us do less. Like ponies, I think. Are your creatures different?"

"You make a fair point - most species do wrestle those drives on some level even if it manifests differently." I stared past her shoulder gathering scattered thoughts. "For humans though physical urges seem more separate from reproducing specifically."

I stirred my cooling soup contemplatively before continuing. "Like hormones happen regardless wanting kids or not. So conversations around that stuff feel extra vulnerable compared to just biological facts."

Noticing her confused tilt I backtracked apologetically. "Ah geez, sorry for the awkward rambling! Your openness invited mine and I kinda dumped a bunch out without warning."

I patted her hoof in reassurance. "Didn't mean making you uncomfortable or anything - just meant it's touching you felt safe enough for me to explore out loud too." I managed a timid smile her way. "So seriously, thanks for listening and being so chill."

Ocellus visibly relaxed and even giggled at my flustered backpedaling. "Aww, I don't mind at all! I asked first, after all." Her own smile strengthened buoyantly. "And it is really neat having somecreature who just lets feelings out without getting all weird about it!"

She nodded firmly. "My new goal is getting you totally comfortable saying anything around me! Friends should uplift and explore together right?"

Oh, goodness. I felt an overwhelming urge to give Ocellus a big hug. "You are a delightful creature, you ever get told that?"

She smiled through her blush. "Thank you. Now... Why did you ask that? You asked because you're thinking... Do you want a nymph? You're a little young." She waved over me. "You're still in school, with me! You should wait until you're done with that at least." The way she spoke, it was as if she were just going over basic facts.

"Solid logic." I fell forward onto a waiting cloven hoof. "Very good logic. I'm in no position to be seriously thinking about that."

"But you're thinking, I can see it." She nudged my bowl suddenly. "You should finish that."

Oh, right, the soup! I grabbed it in my magic and gulped it down with big heavy chugs, soon erasing it from existance. "Mmm, good."

"Did you even taste it?" she asked amid giggles. "Good job."

I set the bowl down. "I think... You've calmed me down, and I can really think. I... think... I was just lonely, which feels bad."

"Being lonely is awful." She considered me quietly. "So what was being lonely making you do?"

"I think I wanted to be close to any pony that wanted to be close back, that felt at all appropriate... So... if making nymphs with them tied them up close to me... good?"

Ocellus nodded thoughtfully as I haltingly confessed impulsive motivations stirred by loneliness towards rushed intimacy. Fresh understanding dawned hearing inexperience speaking rather than calculated designs.

She touched my hoof gently. "Making connections that uplift everycreature does sound very good." Her voice remained kind but frank meeting my uncertain eyes. "Though bringing new lives into the world's a big responsibility - probably too big facing alone while still finding your own footing."

I exhaled feeling heard and seen beyond kneejerk reactions. "You make a really fair point - I'm pretty new getting my own life figured out, let alone guiding somefoal else's." I nodded determinedly. "I should focus on building trust with partners first before making decisions with long term impacts, huh?"

Ocellus smiled approvingly. "Understanding yourself and others takes time but pays off better for all." She winked playfully. "Good thing you've got me to cover basics your alien origins missed until you've totally adjusted!"

"Besides." I shuffled in place as Ocellus perked. "Maybe I'm just chasing the wrong thing to start."

"What do you mean?" She sat up, magic drawing a glass of water closer. "Please, explore. You're onto something."

"Well, this will be awkward..." Still, Ocellus had been nothing but kind, listening, and a great converstional partner. "I've had multiple opportunities, but, ultimately, didn't do... the thing that makes nymphs. I could have, but, in the end, didn't. I made up a thousand excuses, but, bottom line, I did not."

Ocellus' blush returned brightly. "I see... Maybe you don't want to?"

"That's what I was thinking!" I realized a moment later I had said that far too loud. "Sorry..."

My exclamation echoed awkwardly across the nearly deserted cafeteria. Thankfully only one or two stray students lingered clearing trays to notice my outburst regarding reproduction reservations. Face aflame I slid lower in my seat wishing I could vanish within my uniform.

"Maybe...inside voices about private stuff, huh?" Ocellus' embarrassed whisper barely reached my burning ears. But her tiny supportive smile lifted my mortified face eventually as we mutually acknowledged public discretion's importance even in excitement.

"Heh, yeah subtlety ain't my strongest suit sometimes." I managed a self-conscious chuckle. "But seriously you've given me a lot to process with this gender stuff. Never felt things that plainly before."

I glanced around ensuring nosy neighbors had departed before leaning closer across the table conspiratorially. "Got me seriously wondering if I avoided...certain steps just because it wasn't with who I really am or want openly, deep down. If that makes sense?"

I searched her compassionate features for understanding. "Like maybe this body I got shuffled into, however unexpectedly, unlocked feelings waiting behind walls I didn't even realize?" I shook my head amazed at connections suggesting themselves. "Wild thought I know..."

Ocellus simply smiled and patted my hoof. "Then we keep slowly helping you stretch into who you can be, no rush!" She giggled softly. "My little caterpillar's got a lot of cozy cocoon ahead before you're ready to fly free." And her unconditional support warmed me more than any fire as we walked together into freshly imagined possibilities.

It was good to have a friend.

Author's Note

What if we stopped hurrying into things, hm? Is this the way we want to go?

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