Rise of Ruinous

My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic: RISE OF RUINOUS

Chapter 24 - Flim Flam Shim Sham

The time: One month after the defeat of Fyb.

Applejack hums as she bucks apples for her cider.  She hears another thud and smiles.

Applejack: Hola, cuz.

Jalapeno: Hola, mi prima.  How are you?

Applejack: Why, just great.  Buckin' apples fer our cider, I see.

Jalapeno: Si.  Mi familia has the casa (house) under control, so I'll be visiting for a few days.

Applejack: Awesome.

The two cousins high-hoof, then continue bucking apples.

*INTRO SEQUENCE*

Cider making is well underway as ponies line up for the finished product.  Jalapeno gets a sample of the cider and takes a drink.

Jalapeno: !!  Holy frejoles!  That is awesome!

R.Dash: Yeah, Jalapeno!  Applejack's cider is the best in Equestria!

Applejack: *blush* Aw, shucks, Rainbow Dash.

Jalapeno: Aw, mi prima, *giggle* you're so humble about it.

R.Dash: Yeah, she's very humble about her successes.

Jalapeno: I can see that.

All three ponies are soon shocked to hear what to Applejack is a disturbingly-familiar clattering.

Jalapeno: What in the.....?

Applejack: No way in Equestria!

Up drives the Super Speedy Cider Squeezy 6000 - or something that looks like it.  And up on it were two yellow unicorns dressed as vaudeville performers.

Applejack: Flim and Flam, what are you doing back?  I thought ya'll were chased outta here.

Flim: That may be true, but that was with the Super Speedy Cider Squeezy 6000!  THIS is the Super Speedy Cider Squeezy 7000!

Jalapeno: Seis mil, siete mil, un mil mil, whatever número (number) you attach to that thing, it's STILL a pedazo de chatarra (hunk of junk)!

Applejack: YEAH!  Now turn that unwelcome wagon around and git outta our town, NOW!

Flam: Aw, now, Applejack, SURELY you can appreciate what we've done to improve our already-amazing machine.

R.Dash: Too bad the OPERATORS were suffering from a lack of integrity!

Flim: *smirk* Aw, cute little Rainbow Dash!  Trying to interject a sense of justice into the recipe.  OUR Super Speedy Cider Squeezy 7000 is THE last word in cider-making!

Applejack: No, MY BACK LEGS are the last word in cider-makin', and MY last word is gonna be "Get the haybale outta here and NEVER - I mean, NEV-VER - COME BACK!"

Applejack stomps off back to her orchard with a snort.  The Flim Flam Brothers watch her go with slowly spreading smiles.  That night, the brothers were hard at work - but it wasn't fixing their machine.....  The next day, Applejack trots out to her orchard humming, only to be shocked when she saw that her entire orchard was taken over by Flim and Flam!

Jalapeno: *GASP!*  Ay carumba!  What kind of traición (treachery) has happened here?!

Applejack: MY FARM!  MY APPLES!!

Flim and Flam: You mean OUR FARM and OUR APPLES!!!

Applejack: WHAT DID YOU TWO DO!?

Flim: Since you wouldn't GIVE us a chance to prove ourselves,.....

Flam: WE decided to TAKE our chance.....

Flim and Flam: By taking YOUR farm!!

The brothers laugh spitefully at a horrified Applejack.

Flim: Now, ya'll have one hour to get your JUNK off OUR property!

Flam: Or WE will arrest you for trespassing!

Jalapeno: NO!  LOS MENTIROSOS!!! (LIARS!!!)

Jalapeno jets out of Sweet Apple Acres and dashes towards the Everfree Forest.  Coming out of the woods, across the bridge near Fluttershy's cottage, were Zecora and Nightmare Moon.

N.Moon: I must say, your stories aren't ALL that is fascinating about you, Zecora.

Zecora: I'd love for you to visit my land,

I think you'd agree it's really grand.

N.Moon: And if everyone there is as friendly as you are, I'd love to go.

Jalapeno: EMERGENCIA!! EMERGENCIA!!!  EMERGENCIA MAYOR!!!  (MAJOR EMERGENCY!!!!)

Zecora: Huh?

N.Moon: What's that mean?

Jalapeno skids to a stop in front of Nightmare Moon, the black alicorn shielding herself and Zecora from the dust the Spanish mare kicks up.

Jalapeno: Emergencia!  En la granja de Applejack!  Ha habido una OPA hostil!!  (Emergency!  At Applejack's farm!  There's been a hostile takeover!!)

N.Moon: !!!  What the?!  Who are you?

Jalapeno: No hay tiempo para explicar! *gets behind Nightmare Moon* Data prisa! (No time to explain! Hurry!)

N.Moon: *Jalapeno shoves her back where she came from* OK, OK!! *starts galloping off*  I'm going!!

Jalapeno follows Nightmare Moon back to the farm, where the Flim Flam Brothers have Applejack's entire family tied up and were forcing them to watch helplessly as they took ALL the money and credit for the cider.

G.Smith: Stop this nonsense immediately!  Untie me or you won't like the consequences!

But the Flim Flam Brothers were pretending not to hear the Apple family matriarch.  But they DID hear.....

Jalapeno: MI PRIMA!!!

Applejack: Jalapeno!

N.Moon: What's going on?!

Nightmare Moon takes in the scene and growls.  She slams her front hooves on the ground and shatters some of their empty barrels, halting cider production almost instantly.

Flim and Flam: What the?

The brothers look and spot Nightmare Moon glaring at them.

N.Moon: Don't'cha two know what the meaning of the word "INSANITY" is?!

Jalapeno: Si, ustedes dos son muy locos. (Yes, you two are very insane.)

Flim: Insanity? *laugh* Surely you jest!

Flam: WE are expert businessponies!

N.Moon: *eyes narrow* Well, I am an expert in security measures with a major in helping out my friends!  I do my best work at night where my specialty is stealing nightmares.  I also like long walks on the beach, cloudless nights and tall mugs of APPLE FAMILY cider.

The two brothers smirk, spitefully dousing the Mare in the Moon with a barrel of their lower-quality cider!  The Apple family and Jalapeno let out a gasp.

N.Moon: So, you wanna play *straightens up, wings out, hair flowing out like a plume of smoke* DIRTY, EH?!

Nightmare Moon slams her hooves down, causing the Flim Flam Brothers' machine to fall apart like a house of cards in an earthquake.  Then, she uses her magic to dump ALL of the brothers' low-quality cider on top of them, the resulting wave sending them out of Ponyville for parts unknown!  She then takes the "Flim Flam Fields" banner down and magically teleports it to the brothers, along with raining the parts of their machine on their heads!  After doing that, Nightmare Moon snorts a few times, then breathes heavily in an attempt to calm down.  After she calmed down, she heads over to the Apples.

N.Moon: AJ!  Are you OK?  Who WERE those two?

Applejack: Those were the Flim Flam Brothers. *Nightmare Moon begins untying the Apple family*  They were here to try to muscle in on our profits earlier.  They had that Super Speedy Cider Squeezy thingamajigajalopy-thingy-whatever here and they DID out-cider us, but it was MUCH lower quality than ours, so nopony bought their cider.  I THOUGHT that shooed them off, but I GUESS it didn't.  And you, Jalapeno.  If ya'll didn't bring Nightmare Moon,.....

Jalapeno: Calmarse, mi prima, calmarse (calm down). I'm just lucky I ran into her.

N.Moon: So, you DO speak a language I can understand.

Jalapeno: *giggle*  Lo sentimos, Pesadilla Luna. (Sorry, Nightmare Moon)  I sometimes revert to speaking Spanish when I get panicked.

N.Moon: *BLINK*  Pe-sa-WHAT?

Applejack and Jalapeno laugh.  That evening, all traces of the Flim Flam Brothers were removed and cider-making season resumed without a hitch.  Nightmare Moon, Princess Celestia, Princess Luna and the changeling royals were also invited to the party, the two night mares enjoying the cider.

N.Moon: OK, now I see why those two wanted this cider, it's outstanding!

P.Luna: This is the most divine apple cider I ever had!

T.Sparkle: It's the ONLY apple cider you ever had.

Princess Luna and Twilight Sparkle laugh.

Jalapeno: Boy, this town is muy agitada! (very eventful!)

Applejack: *chuckle* That it is, Jalapeno.  This town ALWAYS has some *Discord lands by Jalapeno* crazy thing goin' on in it.

Jalapeno: *looks at Discord*  *POINK!*  With or withOUT *points at Discord* him?

Applejack: *looks* AH!  I was wonderin' when ya'd show up, Discord.

Jalapeno: Discord?  Si adecuado! (It's appropriate)

Discord: *laugh*  And who are you?

Applejack: This is my cousin, Jalapeno.  She's from Los Pegasus.

Discord: Which would explain the Spanish.

Jalapeno chuckles, then shakes hands with Discord.  The draconequus is struck by something.....

Discord: -What the?!  Why do I feel another Element?  I thought there were only five more!-

Jalapeno: Uh, senor?

Discord: .....!  *drops Jalapeno's hoof*  Sorry, Jala.

Jalapeno: No problema.

Jalapeno chuckles as Discord blushes.  Then, the pegasus formerly known as Fyb trots up, wearing a lower cowboy hat otherwise similar to Applejack's.  He gets a mug of cider, smiling at and tipping his hat to Applejack, then he heads to a picnic table to enjoy the drink.  Applejack blinks at the pegasus.

Applejack: .......Naw.

The farmpony continues her work.  That night, Discord picks up the updated copy of the book on Ruinous.  He flips to the part where it talks about the new Elements of Harmony, finding something that catches even him unawares!

Discord: Well now.....

TO BE CONTINUED