The day of the Derby had arrived, and the teams began to gather at the event. The rink in Penzance was ready for duty, and the competitors were prepared to push themselves to their limits to achieve victory.

Tracy glanced about, seeing all the teams prepping their gear. "Gotta say, this is much bigger than it was in my prime," she said, gently nudging Argyle. "Course, back then, it was much less professional than it is now."

"Our big win was with second hand skates, if I recall correctly," Argyle said.

"Precisely!" Tracy laughed. "That was a fun day. But that wouldn't work nowadays. In fact, these teams seem to have a lot of money behind them."

"Hey! Tracy!" called a voice. Tracy glanced over to see a woman with bluish skin and white hair walking over. "It's been such a long time since we last spoke."

Tracy grinned. "Streaks! Great to see you again!" She turned to show Sunny and her friends. "This is the team Argyle and me have been training up."

Streaks grinned in return. "Great to see you inspiring the next generation. May I introduce the Locoyard Lightships! Captain Sunny Starscout, Hitch Trailblazer, Izzy Moonbow, Zipp Storm, and Pipp Petals!"

Streaks smiled. "You've got a great team. So, Monty, how are you connected to these kids?"

"Sunny's my daughter, and the others are her friends," Argyle explained.

Streaks was stunned. "Dude, you and I have so much catching up to do! I had no clue you'd gotten married! We can catch up during the competition!"

"I only learned from the best," Argyle smiled. "You're one of the greatest Derby players to have ever lived, Streaks."

"Really? You and Tracy were liked greased lightning on the ground!"

"Boss?" called a voice. "We're on in twenty!"

"Copy that!" Streaks replied. "Those are the Churston Cavaliers- I've been training them. Best of luck!"

After a short practice in the main rink, the Locoyard Lightships retreated to an outdoor area for a rest. The Falmouth Falcons had just arrived, and Tina looked back at their new member. "This is your chance to make history, Misty," he said. "We can win this and show this bunch of newbies they belong in the junkyard."

"Especially those rich kids," Flank laughed. "Perhaps Pipp should go back to making shoddy videos and being a tub of lard. How does anybody live like that?!"

Misty, however, was starting to regret her decision to join the Falcons. "Uhh, guys, Pipp is kinda my sister, so I'd appreciate it if you'd stop being rude about her."

Kiki leaned in her face. "Having second thoughts, you turncoat?" she said. "Out here, family ties mean nothing. The Falmouth Falcons are the hunters- we chew bad teams up and spit them out. We'll leave those losers in the dust and regretting ever having joined the party. Am I clear?"

Misty moved back. She never liked it when people yelled in her face, as Opaline often did that. "Do we ha-"

"Am I clear, yes or no?"

"C- crystal."

"Good. We're on the field soon. Don't mess this up."

As the others walked off, Misty sat down and took out her phone before dialling a number. "Mom? It's Misty. I think I've made a mistake..."

Hitch smiled as he sipped on a drink. "That sport was a lot of fun," he said. "Those guys from Aberdeen were great fun to skate with."

"Part of the fun of the sport," Sunny said. "I find the community spirit is similar to that of ice hockey- players are friends, not the crazy rivalries you find in so many other sports. Even if the Falmouth Falcons don't seem to understand the spirit of the game. You know, I wonder if they're behind the problems we've been having?"

"They may be like friends, but don't expect them to go easy," Tracy said. "They'll want to provide stiff competition, and as such we will have to bring our all. And I'd hope not- we've had a hard enough time as it is."

"That we can do," Zipp said, as they got up to head out. Suddenly, there was a crash and Hitch flew past them, tumbling over and over until he hit the floor with a bang.

"Hitch!" Sunny called, running to his position. "Are you OK?"

Hitch looked up with a groan. "Sunny, I think my leg's broken."

Faven, who had arrived shortly before and was tending to Hitch, gave her report. "Hitch's leg is sprained, not broken," she said. "But he's still in no condition to compete."

"How are we going to compete with one member down?" Zipp asked.

"I'll help," said a familiar voice. They looked up to see Misty there.

"What's going on, Misty?" Zipp asked. "Thought you were with the Falcons."

"I quit," Misty said. "Tina put paint where Hitch stepped so he'd slip and fall. I saw it happen and quit on the spot. I made a big mistake joining the Falcons, and I want to put that right."

Zipp sighed. "I got an apology to make too. Sorry for not inviting you to join."

Misty smiled. "I forgive you. What sort of sister doesn't?"

Captain Buck was furious. "What the Hell were you thinking, Tina?" he snapped. "You actively disobeyed my orders and violated league rules by attacking another player! Now we're risking being suspended for that stunt!"

"Flank had the idea!" Tina replied.

"I know that, and he's being held responsible too," Buck said. "But the fact your first impulse was to throw a team-mate under the bus tells me everything I need to know about you. The ethics board have given me a choice- either face a lifetime suspension for the team, or get rid of the troublemakers."

Tina looked horrified. "You can't fire me from the team!"

"You're quite correct on that front, Tina." Captain Buck looked especially serious. "I cannot fire you- because I already have. I can't fire people who aren't members of the team. Good luck with your future sporting life- though I doubt you'll have much of a chance when news of this gets out."

Captain Buck spoke to Sunny next. "I want to apologise for what my colleagues did to yours," he said. "The individuals concerned have been fired from the team, and although this renders us unable to compete in the event as our team is now too small, I would rather sit this out and spectate than compete with a dishonourable team. I was too slow to act on this, Sunny, and for that I am sorry. As an act of penance I hereby wish to help you win."

Sunny nodded. "You did the right thing," she said. "And for that I don't hold a grudge against you. Best of luck in building a new team."

Captain Buck nodded and went to take his seat.

The rest of the team had now assembled, and they were raring to go. Sunny turned to them. "They said we're not welcome here!" she said. "Well, this is our chance. Let's get out there and prove there is a space for newbies in the sport! THIS IS OUR CHANCE! LET'S SHOW THEM WHAT WE'RE MADE OF!"

And sure enough, the event began, with the first round of matches. Misty integrated into the team and was soon starting to use tactics developed by the Falmouth Falcons to great effect. Team after team fell to the Locoyard Lightships, with Tracy helping with tactics and Captain Buck helping with overall game plan.

And at last, the final came. The final teams were the Locoyard Lightships and the Churston Cavaliers, and as they lined up on the start grid they prepared to do battle.

"Talk about a matchup!" commented Streaks. "The teacher and the student, taking one another on!"

"That's what sport is all about!" Tracy laughed. "Generations coming together!"

And against all the odds, the Locoyard Lightships emerged victorious, becoming the winners of the 2025 Derby. As they ascended the winner's podium and held the trophy aloft, Sunny felt a surge of pride in her heart. Her gamble had truly paid off.

As they made their way to the encampment, Sunny suddenly saw a familiar face. Tina was nearby, and looking like she was about to blow a blood vessel.

She turned, and glared at Sunny. "Well, if it isn't the team that made up a fake story. I bet you told Hitch to injure himself to get me in trouble and steal my win from me- the win which was mine by right."

"Who would do something that silly?" Sunny said. "Besides, it's not as if you can compete any more. You're not the only one who can do trash talk."

Tina snarled. "This isn't over, Sunny. I'm not finished with you!"

"I wouldn't be so sure of that, Mrs Lifetime Ban."

"Pay her no heed, Sunny," Argyle said. "You guys more than earned this. We all belong in this community, and a few bad eggs in the community will not change that one bit."

"You pulled off something incredible," Tracy said. "Sorry for doubting you, kid."

Sunny pulled her friends into a hug. Together, they had stuck through thick and thin and emerged giants.

Author's Note

This chapter is an adaptation of the fifth and final Kenbucky Roller Derby comic. The title of the chapter is taken from the 1981 film of the same name. A couple of different sporting jokes have been left in there- can you spot them all?