Coral Knight had learned a lot of things from Colonel Daddy and from her mother about how to behave in Canterlot. Daddy had taught her how a guard was supposed to behave, and mama had taught her some of the basics of high society. They'd prepared her to deal with anything from frosting spilled on her dress to a changeling attack.

Except for boys. Nothing about boys made sense. Her cousins were alright, and she teased Clement Knight relentlessly while she loved him as a sister should love her brother. But the boys at school were weird and smelly and nothing about them made sense.

Especially Silver Star. A young silver colt who, as far as the young filly could tell, was put on Equestria to get under her skin like a bad rash. He teased her all the time, and while she got her own licks in, he still irritated her. Like a changeling, but with a more punchable face.

Not that she'd ever do that to a colt, of course, it'd disappoint Daddy. Just think about it. A lot. And for good reason.

"I'm telling you, you unfreeze a pony by touching them!" Silver snapped.

"And I'm telling you you're wrong!" Coral scrunched up her nose. "Everypony knows you can unfreeze everypony by kicking a can!"

"Nu-uh! That's dumb! How're you supposed to win if everypony's running off in different directions if it's so easy to unfreeze everypony?! At the very least you need it to be a base, not a can!"

"That's the game! The whole point is to catch them as quick as you can while keeping the can safe! That's why they call it 'kick the can' in Manehattan!"

"That doesn't make any sense, tell her!"

The rest of the foals in the school yard were looking between each other, none of them willing to back up either of the two young ponies in this argument.

The school day was technically over, but they couldn't actually go home without parental supervision yet, and so the students were playing freeze tag. Silver had been 'it' in the foal's latest game. Pegasi couldn't fly and unicorns couldn't use magic, but Silver seemed born to chase ponies down, and had gotten everyone but Coral. She'd almost been caught as well, but was able to pull a soda can out of the trash and kicked it right into his face (that part had been an accident). Once he'd caught her, however, he'd declared victory, which was obviously untrue. And so the argument had begun.

"Aw come on, tell her!"

"They aren't backing you up because you're wrong, dummy!"

His head whipped back to her. "Don't call me dumb!"

"Oh right, calling you dumb would be an insult to DUMB people!" Coral shot back.

"If you ever had a clever thought, it died alone and afraid!" The black-maned colt yelled.

"You're the kind of colt that drinks poison juice instead of water!"

"You don't need beauty sleep, you need a comma!!"

"You're the colt equivalent of a participation award!"

Silver clearly had no idea what that meant, but kept going anyway. "Your mane is the reason shampoo bottles need instructions!"

"MY MOM DOES MY MANE AND IT'S A PERFECT BLEND OF FUNCTION AND ASCETIC!" She shouted back, not entirely sure what the word actually meant but she loved her mane; long, but curled just enough to keep it out of her line of sight. Beautiful but functional. "Who does yours, your blind sister?!"

Silver Star drew back like she'd slapped him. His mane was messy and short, but judging from the disgusted look on his face he took a lot of pride in it. Probably. "Oh if there's a line you just pranced right over it, ugly!" He snarled.

She smirked. "What's wrong, can't finish a war you started?"

"I'd rather go to war than have cooties! Dummy!" Silver Star spat, and Coral bristled. Calling her dumb was one thing, even insulting her mane, but cooties?! That was a clear escalation. And he clearly knew it from the sudden surge of anger and disgust in his voice.

"Don't call me a dummy, butter bar, you're the one who believes in cooties!" She snapped.

"What kind of insult is that?!" He snarled. "Butter's great in a bar!"

"My daddy's a Colonel!" She pouted. "Cooties would be a security risk, I'd know!"

"Yes, you are a security risk and you know it!"

"You keep lying about me and I'll kick your butt!"

Star stuck his tongue out at her. "The butt doesn't hurt, dummy, you gotta go for the face!"

She very nearly did, but the two's shouting and arguing was starting to attract attention from students outside their game, and the teachers. The students were whispering among themselves; Coral couldn't tell who they were siding with, but it seemed the teachers were looking at her instead of him. She was about to get in trouble when all she'd done was retaliate to her enemy's attack!

The triumphant smirk on the young colt's face was, in that moment, the most evil and horrific thing in all of Equestria to her. Grogar had nothing on that dumb colt's smirk.

... Wait.

That dumb colt's smirk!

She still had one option: a secret technique she'd learned from a combination of observing her parents, her various aunties/uncles, and from sneaking peaks at Mom's romance novels when nopony was looking. If she did it properly, no one's defenses could stand against it! And a knight did EVERYTHING properly!

She lunged forward and pressed her lips to his.

The shocked silence in the yard was only broken by the sound of confused whimpering. It was Coral's turn to smirk as she pulled away, seeing the sudden shock on the colt's face, with just a hint of horror.

Ha! Success! Clearly he'd been unprepared for her blitzkrieg! Colonel Daddy would be so proud of her once he heard. Now for the coup de grace! Mom's special attack!!

She fluttered her eyelashes at him, doing her best to mimic her mom's coy look.

Star screamed and ran out of the yard, taking off before he even made it out of the no fly zone.

"HA!" Coral Knight yelled, throwing a hoof into the air. "VICTORY!! SUCK MY HORN, YOU DIRTY-"

"CORAL CANDYLICIOUS KNIGHT WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY!!"

Coral's purple coat turned ghost-white faster than a switch being flipped. "Oh no."

Her mother was walking her way, but it wasn't Crystal Wishes, romance author and charity organizer of Equestria-wide distinction. The beautiful blonde-and-pinked maned mare stalking towards her own daughter wasn't her mom, she was the mommy monster, a creature that only came out when she'd done something really wrong. And for such a beautiful, kind, well-put together mare of class with a small heart painted on her cheek, it was remarkable in that moment how much she looked like an angry timber wolf.

Coral immediately stood at attention. Colonel Daddy was right, she should never repeat anything she overhears Major Sunny saying.

Author's Note

Coral Knight/Crystal WIshes aren't my OCs, they belong to Anzel and Crystal Wishes. Unfortunately neither is on the site anymore, but their stories are great and you should read them.

More to come.