Holiday Tails

Listen my foals and you shall remarkle
Of the midnight ride of Twilight Sparkle,
Who rode one night through Sleepy Hollow;
Who thought the supernatural quite shallow
"Those who believe should date that dragon Crackle."

The Headless Horse was said to be an alicorn,
Whose coat was as dark as midnight,
Whose hatred caused his wings did shorn.
And lost his head with red mane bright.
Cursed forever to run the lea;
And search every night for his head to see.
Said the Great and Powerful Trixie
Who got the story from a pixie,
During her travels thru the heart of Dixie.

As Snips and Snails stood amazed,
Jaws dropping and eyes all glazed.
Twilight Sparkle was there to say,
"Were you born just yesterday?
Tis just a quaint and simple fable;
Meant to keep foals in the stable.
I'll prove the story false for I'm most able
The supernatural is just bunk not dignified
Like science; these lies I'll not abide."

So off she rode through alley and street
Past ponies enumerable waving hooves and cheers,
Through the Everfree Forest she had no fears.
Past Froggy Bottom Bog, that blackest moor,
At the edge of the hallow she stamped her feet,
Her nostrils flared as she twitched her ears;
She'd prove that story false, that's her chore.

Then she rode down the Old North Trail,
Past the woody briar, with stealthy tread,
To the central clearing the moon overhead,
Past the willow branches she broke their veil
At the end of the road, she doth made
The ghostly vistage of that evil shade.
Her trembling hooves; he stood steep and tall,
With his terrifying majesty her courage did fall,
She turned and fled back toward the town,
A stumble; she fell almost broke her crown.
Luna's pale moonlight flowing over all.

She ran like being chased by the Golden Horde,
Oer the covered bridge to the top of the hill,
Wrapped in silence so deep and still,
Suddenly she was hit with an orange gourd,
She woke up feeling sick and woozy
Finding she was dressed like a floozy,
There was the G&PT dressed all raunchy
Ready for a session of lewd debauchery
Tied to the wall with a magic cord
Pinkie would say "This was a doozy";
"This is what you get for being so nosy."
Said Trixie as she approached with a sexy sway,
"I bet you didn't know that I was gay,
And I'm here to help you sow your wild oats,
We'll have fun at least til we get to the goats."

Later, impatient to mount and ride,
Dildo inserted; the length she took with pride,
Approaching the form of Twilight Sparkle.
Now she patted nervous eqines side,
How she gazed with a bishie sparkle,
Then, impetuous, stamped the earth,
And said "Prepare to take this girth."
Exhausted, she disengaged and around did search
Queried "Are you ready for the birch?"
As it rose above her flank, she stood still,
Her cutie mark getting the most to break her will.
And lo! Her looks, what a delight,
Her glimmer was gone no gleam of light.
With ease she took to the saddle, the bridle, in turns,
But lingers and amazes, till the middle of the night.
"I'm yours forever, I love the whip burns."

A hurry of hoofs in a village street,
A shape in the moonlight, a bulk in the dark,
And beneath, from the pebbles, in passing, a spark
Struck out by a mare flying fearless and fleet;
That was all! And yet, through the gloom and the light,
The fate of a nation was riding that night;
And the spark struck out by that pegasus, in her flight,
Kindled the land into flame with its heat.
She has left the village and mounted the steep,
And beneath her, tranquil and broad and deep,
In Equestria, where could she hide;
And under the alders that skirt its edge,
Now soft on the sand, now loud on the ledge,
Is heard the tramp of her hooves with pride.

It was twelve by the village clock
When she crossed the bridge into Ponyville town.
She heard the crowing of the cock,
And the barking of Applejack's dog,
And felt the damp of the river fog,
That rises after the sun goes down.

It was one by the village clock,
When she galloped into Hoofington.
She saw the gilded weathercock
Swim in the moonlight as she passed,
And the meeting-house windows, black and bare,
Gaze at her with a spectral glare,
As if they already stood aghast
At the gloomy work they would look upon.

It was two by the village clock,
When she came to the bridge in Canterlot.
She heard the bleating of the flock,
And the twitter of birds among the trees,
And felt the breath of the morning breeze
Blowing over the meadow brown.
And Celestia was safe and asleep in her bed
Who at the morn would be first to call,
Who that day would be filled dread,
Pierced by a Princess's grieving fall.

Twilight Sparkle's heart doth swoon
To the power of Trixie Lulamoon
They searched Equestria to no avail
They never found her head or tail.
Celestia was in ever mourning,
Her brother was forever journing.
Whenever told the tale vile,
The G&PT had a smile.