Pirate Bebop

Ch.14

Jet, while mildly depressed and greatly displeased with the turn his life had taken lately, was always one to look on the bright side. None of his surrogate family have died, his precious Bebop is still intact, said surrogate family has rapidly grown in a short time, among other things. All-in-all, if not for the ‘wanted criminal’ tag added to his life, this was a major upturn in events.

So was arming the Bebop, since Silver decided to be nostalgic and then he got into shenanigans that he decided to involve Luster and Flint in. “Wow…” Jet had just watched that shortstack Rask install small-scale railguns in ‘torpedo tube’ style on the Bebop faster than a whole team of engineers at a civilized drydock could manage. The way the bodacious borg babe used her metal legs and tail made her a one-person pit crew. “Want to join my crew?”

“Nope. As much as I appreciate the offer, my life is here; fixing broken ships and getting fucked several times a day. I don’t think your crew would survive my libido.” Hildra, which was the busty matronly Raskvel’s name, said as she scratched her pale blue plumage.

“You’d be surprised. If I didn’t enforce duty hours, three of my crew would spend all day screwing each other instead of just half the night.” Jet rubbed his snout, lamenting yet not terribly minding the fervor with which Silver, Luster and Rivala expressed their passion for one another. Luster has been good for Silver. She’s grown beyond that embittered, defeated and resigned husk of an old pirate that his friend had devolved into.

“You clearly don’t know us Raskvel too well. Let me put it bluntly: we need to breed. Constantly. I’ve got some eggs baking in me right now. I don’t look it yet, but in a few weeks, I’ll be immobilized and need to lay my clutch. Then only one in 10 will hatch in a week and then the runt needs to survive to maturity, which is rare.” Hildra said with sadness and a rub of her stomach. “There’s a reason, despite being living breeding machines, we’re declining.”

“Oh, my condolences. I’ve lost people I cared about, but I’ve never had children myself.” Jet said understandingly and the short woman looked up at him with an appreciative smile, which she ruined by blowing a bubble with her blue bubblegum. “That said, is there anyone trying to fix that? I know the Golden Age is long past, but surely some Corp has approached your people with offers of gene therapy.”

“Not a one. We’re a bunch of horny rabbit-reptiles on a floating garbage scow of a planet. There’s no money to really make here aside from selling gear to lowlives.” Hildra spat her gum into a nearby trash bin and pulled a fresh one from her cleavage. “Besides, the Gabs want to pretend they can fix the universe, they’d sooner try to ‘save’ us again like they did with the Crackening. Fucking space-heads. You know they’re the ones that split Tarkus in half?”

“No, no I didn’t.” As much as Silver loved this place, he didn’t exactly fill them in too much.

“It was some sort of terraforming thing they tried. They wanted to use the planet’s Eezo core to change the atmosphere or some shit. Then boom: planet splits in half and we’re all scrambling for our lives. Mind you, this was hundreds of years ago, well before my time, but we all know the story. Over half of the planet’s population died, both of our species underwent rapid, drastic evolution to compensate, turning us from Gobs to Gabs and Bolds to Rasks.” Hildra slapped her wide, egg-bearing hips. “Though, I think that’s one improvement.”

“I’ll take your word for it.” Jet wasn’t dead, he just wanted a more classy, refined gal. He wanted a girl who had self-respect and didn’t act like a hooligan.

“So anyway, both of our species worked to tie Tarkus back together, but the planet wouldn’t close back up. So, the Gabs decided to use the opportunity to turn Tarkus into a planet-ship. Now we really are a giant garbage scow.” Hildra snorted and then blew another bubble.

“My first mate mentioned something like that. So this is a...” Jet paused when some realization hit him. Tarkus is a ship. This whole planet is a ship. The largest ship in this era! “Oh no…” He hoped his hunch wasn’t correct...

🎺

“So there’s been no hint of the Silver Pirates anywhere?” Amelia demanded in mild irritation and the hanar shook their body in the negative. “So much for the hope his boldness would hold out. You’re dismissed.” Amelia looked over the projections and frowned. Usually, when a pirate got ahold of something powerful, they tended to flaunt it wantonly, leading to them easily being tracked and dealt with.

Silver isn’t that brazzen and stupid.

Sure, he attacked a convoy that was barely two systems over from Aiur, the seat of the UnSC in Triangulum, only several days after evading capture in fact, but it was to obtain another military asset. The Bebop had enough mobile suits to constitute an elite strike squadron and the other two registered mobile suit pilots of the crew weren’t pushovers either according to their profiles.

“Amy?” Amelia looked up with a happy smile at the best thing to have ever happened to her.

“Jim, just what I need right now.” Amelia didn’t think she was such a carnal creature, but then again, these traits tended to surface when one found someone they Loved.

🎺

I groaned as I reformed myself, stretching to adjust back to my male form from the pool of me that Luster, Rivala and our playmate Anno Dorna, had just had a foursome in using the white jackal’s private bathroom behind the shop. “Damn that was good. Even if I didn’t pump ya lasses full, that was satisfying.”

“Woof~...” Anno cooed as she squeezed Rivala’s hips, since she and the slime-wolf fairy were chest-to-chest right now. “I wish I had a body like this.” Oh no! Rivala! Don’t you dare with that gleeful-! “Aroo?!” Anno yelped when she was suddenly a white slime jackal with the same epically thicc proportions as Rivala and Luster. “Whoa! Cool!”

“To be fair, she did say ‘I wish’.” Rivala giggled and squeezed Anno’s newly thicc gams.

“Can’t fault a fairy for doing her job.” Luster giggled and got out, squeaky clean thanks to my slime. “Sorry about the change in species though.”

“Well, I literally asked for it.” Anno giggled and playfully squeezed Rivala’s breasts while the red/blue slime fairy mare helped the slime jackal to her new gooey paws. “I’m...gonna need a minute though. How am I not going down the drain?”

“Your surface tension is too high for that, you also subconsciously hold this form so it’s more solid than if you, say, turned yourself into a tentacle monster.” Luster coached while I redressed.

“Well, this kind of event is going to get me pulled out for Akkadi R&D...can you kidnap me? I don’t want to be on the other side of the glass. I know what we...what they do to test subjects.” Anno worriedly requested and I groaned in dismay. Sorry Jet…

🎺

Anno quickly grabbed all her personal belongings, hacked her shop and even quickly called several of the locals to A: collaborate on making the lie as legit as possible and B: have local thugs actually ransack the shop. Hopefully Steel Tech would buy that Anno Dorna was likely some slaver or pirate’s personal sex toy and leave her for dead.

One of the people she wanted to personally check in with was Shekka of the Widget Warehouse. “Sad to see you leaving, girl. You were a bright spot of sunshine in this cesspit.” The red Raskvel with pink plumage hugged the slime jackal before taking a taste, causing the new slime to squeak at the sensation of being eaten. From my experience it was odd, both pleasurable and almost as casual as picking your fingernails. “Mm, tasty too.”

“Shekka, you spooked me.” Anno mewled and rubbed at the missing chunk of her neck, which rapidly reformed. “Sorry that I can’t help with your plans to uplift your species-.”

“What’s this about plans?” Luster urgently interjected. “I’m a bio-engineer, I was planning to see if I could do something to help the natives recover some of their lost stability thanks to Corruption.”

“Uh, we call it Taint here.” Shekka commented and Luster hummed with a nod of approval. “Anyway, that’s great. Are you going to be here frequently or-.”

“Come with us! Half of our crew are already engineers, what’s another?” Rivala chirped and I facepalmed.

🎺

“Oi! John, you old salty dog! You’re making off with my competition! Thanks!” Colselno, the older Gabliani guy who still wore jeans and a vest with no shirt greeted me the moment I entered with my entourage of ladies behind me. Thank gosh that Luster, Rivala and Anno downsized their assets earlier. We’re eye-catching enough with Shekka’s small crew of dilapidated droids following us holding chests of her stuff since the gal didn’t have enough of a chest to use storage magic.

“I’m not doing this for ya, it’s for them. That’s their own business though. How are things?” I asked my friend as Shekka browsed the piles of junk in Colselno’s shop. He had ownership of the scrap fields directly outside this section of the hull of Novahome for acres around it, so this was just the ‘best’ picks out of that.

“Eh, you know, my streaming show is still my main source of income. I’m not in any danger from the Corps or Govs despite my claims being true, because I’m just some hick scrap dealer, but my viewers know the truth!” Colselno declared and I snorted. He wasn’t wrong, though, sadly.

“Anyway, I’m in the area for the foreseeable future. I wanted to let ya know you can expect business from my friends and I.” I told my old friend before a happy squeak drew attention.

“How much?!” Shekka shouted when she pulled a protocol droid head from a pile with manic glee in her purple eyes. Gosh she’s cute when she’s not being all ‘too busy’.

“That’s the ₹500 pile.” Colselno replied and Shekka tossed a credit chit at him before stuffing the head into a chest carried by two droids. “Anyway, good to know. There’s always grifters looking for good scrap, but it’s nice to have someone who knows their stuff using my wares.”

“Can we go before we kidnap him too?” Luster joked and I scrunched my snout at my lover’s teasing before waving goodbye to Colselno and heading outside-oof! I fell on my ass and looked up at the surprisingly tall and burly badger woman in a lab coat, who snarled at me.

“Oh, are you a hero? Please say yes.” The woman drew an odd pistol and my companions all drew their weapons. “Guess not, a hero wouldn’t have a crew of guns with them. I’m Doctor Badger, I run the bio-mod shop at the aft of Novahome. Now then, excuse me.” The woman went past us into Colselno’s and I got up while Shekka and Anno urged us to hurry away.

“Okay...who was that?” Luster asked once we were on our way to the elevators.

“That’s the Doctor Badger! Y’know?! The creator of the Furpies transformation virus? Have you heard of Red Rocket? She’s the madwoman who unleashed a plague of bio-transformatives on the galaxy in pursuit of her idealized vision of beauty.” Anno quietly hissed at us fearfully. “Nobody fucks with her and keeps the brain cells to regret it later.”

“Velka or Wiatr would have a field day with her.” Luster snarled with a look back at Colselno’s. I hope my old buddy was just getting her business and wasn’t being altered as we speak.

“Unfortunately, the gods ditched us. I mean, fuck, Taint is a good reason to forsake us after all their efforts against it, but still, we could use them again.” Shekka grumbled as the elevator got packed by our large group including her wares, which thanks to the droid security detail, didn’t get attacked by any opportunists. “I won’t complain if they come back.”

“Same here.” I muttered in agreement. That was before my time, like most people, but reading about the Golden Age, before the Fall. It was hard not to lament how quickly we degraded without the protection of the-I suddenly felt cold when I spotted a tall white wolf with bright red eyes wearing a white hooded poncho in the car with us. He looked over at me and winked before he vanished. “...Yeah...I would prefer if they came back.” Spooky!

We reached the ‘hangar’ and promptly hurried across the area with Shekka shouting at opportunistic raskvel all salivating over her stuff and it even became a free-for-all! Shekka sacrificed most of her worst-off droids as distractions as we ran for the Bebop! Why are these people so obsessed with tech?!

“Back! Back you mangy beasts!” Shekka shrieked, doing a flying dragon kick on a rask who had jumped atop a chest and was trying to open the droid’s head with tools. We grabbed Jet and the dockmaster because she was in the way and I rushed to the bridge at full speed, quickly getting the Bebop into the air! Once we were away, I got up and rushed back to the entrance.

“Okay, Jet, get us to wherever we’re going. Sorry we abducted ya.” I apologized to the purple rask who was basically a curvier inverted version of Shekka with cybernetic legs and tail.

“As frustrated as I am, I get it! That was a whole hoard of rasks on a tinker frenzy at the sight of so much working tech! Fucking idiots!” The woman pushed herself up and rubbed her slightly rounded stomach with a sigh of relief. “At least you didn’t hurt my eggs.”

“What the fuck is going on?!” Faye yelped from where she’d staggered from the sudden liftoff with Swetra forming her full armor to protect the pink hippogriff.

“We have new crewmates, one had an entourage of droids that she sacrificed most of to fend off the tech-thirsty raskvel hoard triggered by them.” Luster informed the fowl as Jet sprinted to the bridge. “Where are Spike, Ed and Lucatiel?”

“Spike was in the hangar with them, working on the Swordfish II after getting some tips from Hildra here.” Faye pointed at the busty purple pregnant person, who looked smug, then she blew a bubble with her gum. “I was on guard duty, so that’s why Swerta is on me.”

“Dat ass!” Swerta shouted and spanked Faye’s perfectly armored booty. “Could be better though.”

“It’s my ass! It’s good enough!” Faye huffed and then looked the new crew members over. “This ship is too small. We’re going to have to add bunks to rooms, so for now we’re going to have to hot-bunk. Be glad these three already share a bed.” Faye gestured to Rivala, Luster and I. Anno wilted a bit, but then looked down at Shekka and Hildra, who smirked up at her.

“We’re good with that.” The trio chorused.

“Besides, if Hildra is good with it, she and her eggs could help with Shekka and I’s plans to aid the Raskvel Species.” Luster stated and Hildra blinked rapidly in bemusement, then blew a bubble. “Now then, back to normal. Ah~.” Luster filled out her jumpsuit again, I did the same with my clothes and the other two slimes in attendance followed suit, causing the rasks to gawk.

“That is so unfair!” Shekka cupped her flat chest in dismay while Hildra shrugged after looking at her own heaving shelf of bowling ball sized cleavage, which on her 4-foot frame was immense. “I wish I had real tits!” No don’t-! Shekka moaned when her chest suddenly blossomed to match Hildra. Damn it, Rivala! “W-what just happened? I’m cool with it but...what?”

“Tee-hee~!” Rivala fled and I gave chase! Get back here you trickster!

🎺

“So, it happened exactly as we were told. They made off with three of the most prominent service providers in the colony without any more fuss than a fresh shipment of scrap.” Bones commented as HK rubbed his simulated temples. He relished the ability to cope with frustration and annoyance besides voicing it, but he wouldn’t outright say that.

“Frustrated Statement: Indeed. Things are now in motion. Annoyed Comment: Still, they could’ve gotten here much faster than Dee did and he just used a swoop bike.” HK grumbled and looked at the prepared drydock moments before the brown former fishing trawler expertly slotted in through the hole in the wall that was rusty enough for the ship’s brown coloration to naturally camouflage it. “Resigned Statement: Let’s go meet the new Displaced.”

🎺

Holy shit, this is really close to Novahome. It’s just on the other side of the scrap ridge north of the colony ship with a hole in the metal cliff face just slightly larger than the Bebop. It’s easily a half-hour’s trek back to the place, so we didn’t actually kidnap anybody, just moved them somewhere secure. “I guess yer not stuck with us after all.” I said to Hildra.

“Eh, whatever. Maybe it’s time I did do some wild and crazy shit. All I’ve done my whole life was fix ships and pop out eggs, so this could be good for me.” Hildra shrugged and blew another bubble. I know gum is super cheap, but how much of it does she have? “Now then, let’s see what I have to work with.” She popped open the ramp and shouldered her giant wrench as she descended. “It’s a pile of scrap, I like it. I’ve worked with worse.”

“Enthused Greeting: Welcome crew of the Bebop. I am HK-47.” Declared the approaching deceptively human man who had a human woman trailing him, both in orange jumpsuits. “Continued Greeting: I have followed all instructions provided to give you a workable base and resources along with my network of contacts. Disappointed Statement: I won’t be able to go with you, I’m stuck here at my post.”

“What my hubby means, is that we’re your support team. We stay here, you go out, you fuck over the usurpers and eventually bring back the gods, get it? Got it? Good. Now, shut up, get acquainted with the space, we’ll let you know when you have a job.” The redheaded woman briskly stated and stormed off.

“Proud Statement: That’s my wife.” HK-47 smiled fondly and I nodded in intimidation.

“Okay, why is it suddenly cold and warm?” Faye asked as she and the others exited the ship.

“It feels as if Nito is shambling around?” Swetra commented.

“Surprised Query: Lady Death has made an appearance?” HK-47 asked happily before a black cloaked woman hugged him from behind. “Pleased Statement: Death! Old friend! I have not sent new souls to you in a while, is that why you’re happy?” Huh? “Clarifying Statement: Lady Death dislikes wanton death. It increases her workload.” Oh...yeah that...makes sense, actually.

“I don’t see anything.” Ed said, but I, Luster, Spike and Rivala all were clearly looking directly at the specter of Death herself.

“That is because you are not descended from divinity enough to be able to see her.” Luster told the young asari and then approached the specter. “Death. Can you please tell me what happened? Why did they leave me?” Luster’s wet voice made me want to reach out and hold her, but I had the feeling she didn’t want that right now.

“.” The jaw of Lady Death’s wolf skull moved, but no sound came. I heard nothing, but felt as though the words should come. She wasn’t speaking to me, so I guess I couldn’t understand.

“O-oh...it was that simple then. Okay. Thank you.” Luster hugged Death and I had to wonder how quickly my life went crazy for that to seem unimportant in the grand scheme of things.