Pirate Bebop

Ch.15

“G, why did you kill that pompous prick?” Duo asked Professor G as they rushed to the hanger. He was no stranger to death, but as much as he disliked that jerk, he was defenseless.

“Our Lady gave me a vision. You must leave Zeon, head for these coordinates. Our Lady wants her Scythe to fight for her.” The doctor said as they walked in front of a black cloaked mobile suit. It was a true Gundam. Every piece of it was brand new tech designed by divine knowledge from the god of death herself. The professor was only her medium to craft it.

“You’re telling me to take it? How can we be sure Zeon won’t just replicate it? Or capture me? Or torture you?” Duo asked before the doctor took his blaster and pushed it into Duo’s hands.

“The Lady told me how. All data has been wiped from the records. The Scythe’s Mobile Trace System will only allow you to pilot it. Shoot me, then leave and do not look back. You will have the Lady over your shoulder from now on.” The Doctor said as Duo shook from the request before he grit his teeth and aimed at the pointy-nosed human’s forehead. “Go forth, on your own terms.”

The trigger may as well have weighed several tons with how hard it was for Duo to pull it.

🎺

“An unknown terrorist has escaped with an experimental mobile suit of unknown design from Zeon Labs. They left under their own power through the Relay in the Neo Z System. They took out all Zeon Defense Forces.” The reporter explained in front of the partially destroyed laboratory. “Zeon Labs is under investigation for illegal RnD of a new MS without permits from the Gov-.”

The shadowed figure hummed with consideration and began checking his contacts.

🎺

“This is a workload, eh lass?” I groaned as I cranked the wrench in my hand. We were all busy sprucing up the place and expanding it some more. If this really was going to be our base of operations, it needs to look the part. Right now it looks like a ‘natural’ cavern in the scrap.

“Y-yeah. Ugh. I’m not weak or anything, but manual labor wasn’t something I ever did.” Luster whined as she and Rivala hauled boxes full of scrap that will be used for whatever our rask companions need them for. I may be used to using junk to get by, but raskvel like Shekka and Hildra could turn literal garbage into potential treasure.

“No matter how strong or powerful you are, if you don’t use it, you lose it.” Spike preached as he too along with Faye/Swerta moved loose debris over to a pile where Shekka and Hildra were almost ass-deep inside of, diving for the best pieces. Damn those two have incredible asses, which considering that’s the most flesh Hildra had below the waist, dayum...

“Damn straight.” Swerta declared since Faye was letting Swerta control her body because the hippogriff had something called ‘the lazies’ and would rather let her body be puppeted than actually do manual labor herself.

“Fuck, this is good~. It's making me so horny with all this great tech!” Hildra hummed as she pulled out some form of optical sensor. “My old job was great, but so long as I get to mess with all sorts of odds and ends along with the Bebop and the suits inside, this is way better.” Hildra tossed the optic at a nearby droid that snatched it and put it in a labeled bin using local script. I eyed her swollen stomach in concern. It’s only been a day and the rask was visibly bigger. How many eggs did she have in her?

“Now you know why running my shop was a pleasure on its own.” Shekka laughed when she emerged and tossed another piece to the sorting droids.

“Though you keep displaying your ass.” Hildra teased as she wiped her hands on her cybernetic thighs. Whoever did Hildra’s legs and tail, they were an artist, making metal look sexy.

“Oh please, you’re worse! At least I’m wearing a bodysuit, you’ve just got that heavy apron and panties you’re flashing!” Shekka slapped her fellow rask’s ass and the two giggled.

“Are they teasing us on purpose?” Jet asked as the two horny rabbit-reptiles kept talking dirty.

“Don’t let it get to you, Jet.” Spike said when he set down his crate and went to get another.

“That’s just them being raskvel. Sorry if that sounded racist, but they literally can’t help it. It’s encoded in their genetics to be constantly horny.” Anno said from where she was running cables. It turns out the bubbly slime jackal was a former R&D scientist, which was why she was so spooked by her transformation making her a prime subject, she knew what would happen. That said, she knew more about theoretical and applied materials than anyone besides Luster.

“Something I’d much rather be working on.” Luster huffed and set down her crate. “Okay, I think it’s time for us brainy babes to take a break. C’mere you two sexy shortstacks.” Luster picked them up by the waists despite Hildra being one third heavy cybernetics and carried the bemused tiny babes inside the Bebop to her lab, aka: our room.

“Alright, so what should we do now? Practice or keep turning this place into more than a tetanus nightmare?” I questioned the group before Jet cleared his throat.

“Actually, could you head to Novahome and get some groceries? I don’t want to dig into our stores when we have a readily available source of food. Also, Ed needs some lady products.” Jet said the last bit quieter and I winced. Ed was reaching the Maiden stage of her life, meaning for the next year, she was going to go through severe and confusing changes.

Asari puberty is no joke. Sadly for her, none of us ladies on board besides Faye have a similar enough reproductive system/cycle and Faye likely needed more-I just realized I thought of myself as a woman again. Woof, well, it’s true now. Anyway. “Yeh, I’ll take a speeder over on a shopping run. What do we need?” I asked before I ejected the filth from my slime like most species would hawk a loogie. I am not ingesting it if I don’t have to.

“Aside from the appropriate feminine products for both Ed and Faye-.” Called it. “-We could use some pasta, your choice-wait, just take the list, why am I reading it to you?” Jet chuffed and sent the list to my Omni. I was wondering when he was going to remember we have technology. “We’ll keep cleaning up. Remember that HK and his crew of 3 have been getting this place straightened out for years, adding several hands to make it livable will go much faster.”

“Got it, pasta night. Ya’ll moan sexually when ya taste it, Anno!” I shouted at the jackal and she giggled before putting a welding mask over her snout and went to work on another cable. I followed the thankfully stand-out signs to the vehicle bay, which was full of several junkers, but it’s better than trying to take that Relic UV to a pirate spaceport. It’d get stolen in a heartbeat.

I picked the one with more than one seat and even had a storage bin. Sure, I could just shove stuff into my inventory, but I’m still pretending I’m my bad old self and stuffing groceries past my junk is not kosher. I morphed to be man, got on the two-seater swoop bike and after a few false starts, was on my way over the scrap wastes to Novahome.

Down below since I was at the highest flight clearance of this bike, I could see the bizarre ecosystem at work. Silver nanobot ‘slime’ swarms assaulted anything they could for ‘lubricants’ and proteins. Yeah, literal hyper-busty slime-babe robots were a thing here! Their normal ‘prey’ were the native denizens of the planet, giant sapient cockroach-like creatures called Sydians who were naturally caustic and even ate oxides. Yes, they ate rust.

These were the two primary alpha ‘predators’ of Tarkus, but the slimes only cared about sexually assaulting living creatures since the nanobot swarms they’re composed of were originally for medical purposes or something, while the Sydians generally didn’t give a fuck about things like ‘society’ or ‘knowledge’. For them, a good fuck, food and family were all they cared about. Genuine tribals.

Damn Tarkus is fucked up. I love it! If I wasn’t a slime, I’d likely have other feelings since I can ignore bad smells. I pulled around the bow of Novahome, waving down at some of the gabs at that fancy terraformed ‘vacation’ spot that was literally just a small hotel with a pool, when I noticed a particularly shiny piece of metal in the piles underneath the Nova’s bow.

I lowered down, wary of attackers and blinked at the sight of an incredibly accurate human foot. “What the…?”

🎺

“Do you have any idea what you found?!” Shekka gushed excitedly when I had two of her junk droids help carry the incredibly anatomically accurate female android I’d found up aboard the Bebop after I returned with the ingredients for tonight’s dinner.

“A stupidly well-made android?” The key difference between a droid and android, was the former was any advanced robot built for a purpose, the latter was a highly advanced droid specifically made to closely mimic living entities. Aside from the silvery skin, yes, skin, along with the silver hair, the female-shaped human android could’ve passed for any human woman.

“Yes! This is the Bess-13! Her model line was designed to put all other droid sex parlors out of business, but she was so expensive to produce that Joy-Co decided to stop after the prototype and try to reduce the cost. What the absolute fuck is she doing on this trashball planet?” Shekka was practically salivating over the find and I felt distinctly uncomfortable.

“Uh...yay? Have fun?” I uneasily said as I let Shekka follow her droids carrying her new acquisition away and I went to the galley to-.

“You got our food?” Ed asked with her usual energy when she popped up from behind the counter and I yelped in shock along with jolting back to base form, ripping my tank top down the front and I pouted down at my ruined top before glaring at Ed. “Jet! Silvy got the stuff! Cook it! Cook-it-cook-it-cook-it!” Hot damn! This ginger asari is hungry! Not in the sexy way.

“I know you’re hungry, Ed, calm down!” Jet shouted over the intercom as I set the nearly overflowing bags of ingredients down. This cost a pretty credit considering how many mouths we have to feed, but with the money we make through selling stuff to Anno’s black market contacts, this is just a pittance.

“I also got you these.” I plucked the box of tampons from the bags and Ed blushed in horror before she snatched it and fled in embarrassment. “Now to toss this into the pile of ruined clothes.” I huffed as I held the torn halves of my top together over my tits and made my way from the galley to the living quarters. When I entered my room, I blinked at the sight of Hildra suspended above the desk with all kinds of holographic screens around her.

She also had her cyber legs and tail removed as Luster examined the purple rask. “You are an incredible specimen. I don’t think I’ve seen details of a species as fertile as yours besides dragons and slimes.” Luster ran her hand over Hildra’s small belly and the blue-feathered woman scratched at her pale blue plumage with a proud yet sheepish smile.

“Yeah, I’ve been told by a ton of people I should’ve been a full-time broodmother, but my passion is in fixing stuff. Breeding is just my side-duty.” Hildra blew a bubble and she hummed when she saw me. “Hey babe. Wardrobe malfunction?”

“Yeh. I got spooked and the lasses split my top in half.” I casually replied, deciding not to dwell on the scene before I tugged the ruined black top off my arms and then went to the dresser to-. “Mm~. Lusty, really?” I cooed when she grabbed my breasts, but the clinical expression told me she wasn’t doing this for fun. She took a few vials and milked my slime into them. Mm, that always feels nice.

“Hey, guys.” We heard Rivala when she entered the room with a small box in hand, looking really nervous about something. “I, uh, found something in that pile of scrap-goods we got.” She told us while setting the box down shakily. “Luster, take a look.” Opening it up tentatively, Luster looked into it and gasped, backing away from it.

Blinking in confusion, I took a peek at whatever was inside and found a coin the size of the palm of my hand, made out of ebony black metal and had crazy red glowing glyphs detailed onto it. “Wow. What is that?” I asked before reaching for it.

“Wait, don’t-!” Luster tried to warn me, but I’d already touched it. It felt good! Like, like touching a font of pure energy good! I groaned as I felt energy pass from me, to it, then back. “Are you...charging it?”

“I feel like it’s charging me. Wow. What is it?” I asked as I held it against my bosom and felt images both terrible and inspiring fill my vision while a voice that my human half recognized rumbled into my perked ears.

“Against all the Evil that Hell can conjure. All the wickedness that Mortal-kind can produce. We will send unto them, only you. Rip and Tear, until it is done.”

“DOOM! Holy shit! That’s awesome! Wait, why am I only now realizing that’s what the Argentines were?” I growled at myself. Hey! My two halves! I know you’re one now, but couldn’t I, somehow, have a way to remind myself of important shit like this?!

“Who is this?” I jolted in shock when a voice came from the coin.

“John or Jane Silver. Former pirate, turned pirate again by backstabbing Corrupt assholes so full of shit up their Taint their eyes are brown. Hey, Lusty, does this have something to do with that Displaced thing ya say I am?” I asked my lovers before noticing that Luster and Rivala were holding each other worriedly in the corner furthest from me while Hildra was confused.

“You must be new to this then. What is it you want?” The voice, so gruff and deep, full of power yet patient, inquired. I couldn’t help but shudder a little at that. Damn, ever since I turned into a gal at base, I’m starting to be attracted to male traits.

“Well, nothing. I just grabbed this thing and it started leeching power from me, feeding it back, like a feedback loop. Yer the Argentines, right? This is the universe that ya rightly left behind for it stabbing ya and yer wives in the groins.” I informed the person on the other end of the line. While the gods leaving was what caused the decline, they left for good reason.

“Do not lump us with them. They left because it got out of hand, we left long before the Collapse.” The voice let out an angry growl and I frowned.

“Hey, history’s been fucked over. I didn’t know that shit, don’t take it out on me because I literally can’t know what got yer jimmies rustled. We’re lucky we even remember any of ya.” I huffed and tossed the coin in annoyance at the empty corner...which spawned a fucking fiery portal?! “What the absolute fuck?!”

What came out of it was some cool-looking people in full suits of armor that made them look beyond formidable. As in they looked like they were able to destroy all of the armies the Govs and Corps could possibly field in a traditional conflict on their own. “...Well this is a dump.” One of them commented as they looked around.

“Be glad this is after Lusty repurposed the booze bottles and turned my life around.” I snorted and then blushed before covering my nips. “Shit! Sorry to flash ya like this! Uh, could ya turn around? My dresser is right there.” I said in embarrassment and edged around them to get into my dresser. Well our dresser. I wear Luster’s clothes as much as she wears mine.

“Sure. Also, I’m sorry for going off on you like that.” The guy with the four-eyed demonic skull helmet said before he and his folks turned away, giving me the wanted privacy to pull out a sports bra and quickly pull it on. I turned around as I adjusted my tits in the cups and sighed in relief, which they took as a que to turn around.

“At least yer a grand lad for being able to apologize, even when I was just as ready to go off on ya for yer attitude. I guess that makes ya the bigger person here. I’m Jane Silver.” I held out my hand to the towering hulk and let him squish it in his grip with a cheeky grin.

“I’m Berserker, but my real name is Bryan. I think you’ve earned the right to use it in private.” Bryan told me as I felt him giving a small smile underneath that helmet.

“Where the fuck did you get that amor?!” Hildra squealed in clear arousal, the way her puss was drooling in the zero-G environment Luster had her suspended in and how her breasts were engorged really drove it home along with the manic expression on her face. “Can I have just a piece of one?! I want to see how it ticks!” Oh right, she’s naked...I didn’t bother to realize that. Just how desensitized to nudity and lewdity have I become?

“We’ll think about it, if you behave~.” The woman in yellow armor teased the rask.

“She can’t.” Luster spoke up and approached the desk while nervously wringing her hands. “She’s a Raskvel, a species that used to be, not centuries ago, the Kobolds. They’ve been so Tainted by Corruption after the Fall that they’ve devolved, yet evolved in a way that both spits in the face of the Teachings of Harmony, yet revels in the Chaos of Life.”

“Is it the same Taint millennia ago or something different?” The guy in the gray cloak with a silver stripe asked.

“We believe it’s a bit of both.” Rivala said with a mewl as she stood next to Luster.

“I thought I felt something similar yet different at the same time. This galaxy is filled with it.” Wait, this guy can sense it?! “Besides you. You’re clean. Unnaturally so.”

“Me?” I blinked in confusion. “I’m nobody special. Sure, I’m descended from the gods, but I was a drunken wastrel waiting to die before another soul was fused with mine and I became me. Then there was that time loop thing that I still don’t know too much about and saving Luster.” I gestured at my lover, who squirmed with a pleading look at us all.

The Argentines looked at each other before Bryan asked me. “What did they want with her?” I shrugged. “Really? You have her and you don’t know...have you even told them?” Bryan demanded from my lover and she looked upset. “I can smell you two all over each other, fucking tell her the whole story.” What?

“...Silvy. I’m...look.” Luster’s body morphed, without her horn flashing with magic. Curved spikes appeared on her outer facing portions of her limbs, multiple glowing seams in her flesh formed and her growing mane outright flowed out before forming a writhing mass of blade-tipped tentacles. “I’m not a unicorn, at least, not at my truest. I am Zerg, specifically, I’m the only one of my kind it seems after the Fall…”

“If you took on more human traits, you’d be a dead-ringer for Kerrigan.” The yellow lady commented with her hands on her hips.

“I always assumed that she was my mother and that Twilight Sparkle, my mentor, was my sire, but I never spent time with Kerrigan outside of political meetings. I was an orphan, a ward of the state. I was raised by attendants and only saw Twilight as my mentor. However, the horror and tears in her eyes as she silently shouted at me after the assassination attempt…” Luster’s eyes, glowing orange that they were, still produced tears. “Silver found me in a cryopod that was long overdue to release me, in this far-flung galaxy and time from the Fall.”

“A pod, the UnSC: the United Space Corporation, was having us ferry for them, planning to kill us instead of paying us for the job. If not for me being Displaced and fused and then going through whatever odd Groundhog Day time loop thing that happened, Lusty would be in their hands and I would be dead.” I approached my lover and hugged her, much to her surprise.

“Hoo boy...guys, I think we should help.” At the yellow-armored woman’s words, the others grumbled in agreement.