Pirate Bebop

Ch.16

“I am too damn old for this.” Jet grumbled into his palms at the overcrowded navigation table on the bridge of the Bebop. “It was bad enough I went from upstanding bounty hunter to pirate captain, now I’m suddenly hosting the Argentines. If I didn’t consider alcohol disgusting, I’d be drowning myself right now.”

“I don’t recommend it.” I joked weakly, getting a glare from my old friend. “Look, Jet, they don’t have the ability to send over serious reinforcements like ships and stuff because they blocked this universe’s access to theirs, so we’ll have to accommodate them however we can.”

“For now, at least, but it’s better this way.” Berserker said with a grunt as he patted me on the shoulder. He was the only Argentine on the bridge as the rest wisely chose to wait in the cargo hold despite me offering to give them a tour, they said they’d wait. “Until the immediate danger is removed, we can’t set you up for a war to retake all three galaxies.” Wow, that was ambitious.

I know that what history remembers of them paints them to be a battle-hardened warrior society, but it failed to convey just how quickly they escalated. “I had the suspicion that was the ultimate goal.” Jet groaned and I blinked in utter bafflement. What? “This planet we’re on, Tarkus, is a ship with enough resources to build a fleet capable of taking back Triangulum alone.” Wait!

“Whoa, whoa, whoa, lad! That is way beyond the scope of our work! Jet, I’m a pirate! Not a commander! Sure, I can get a small crew through impossible odds, but I can’t lead an army!” I squeaked fearfully and got another pat on the shoulder from Bryan.

“Worry about it later, that won’t be for some time.” He assured me, but I still feel-.

“Uh, hey, I know this is kinda left-field, but if we’re going to raise a fleet, I already have a ship parked at Novahome. We can start there.” Hildra, who had put her panties and apron back on along with her limbs, said from where she was sitting on a large steel crate put there just for her and Shekka since they’re shorties.

“Are you talking about that giant monstrosity you call a gunboat when it’s really a frigate?” Shekka asked her fellow long-eared scaly shortstack.

“The Moondast Gruss isn’t a frigate! It only has crew for a gunboat like the Bebop. All that extra armor isn’t storage space.” Hildra huffed defensively and I was really glad I didn’t need to breathe or my hyperventilating would make me pass out!

“You two can bitch your tits off about it later. Captain, what are your thoughts about it?” Bryan intervened and urged Jet to move things along.

“Sir, I respect your authority, but on my ship, you will not speak that way to my crew unless you were considered part of it.” Jet said dangerously and the air went cold. “Am I understood? I may not be able to do anything to enforce it, but I won’t have my family disrespected. If you were part of the family, that could be considered ‘teasing’ but not right at this moment.”

“Well, sorry for being myself. Again, what are your thoughts?” He repeated his question with a sigh and a notable bit of frustrated embarrassment.

“I think that, unfortunately, this mad plan to overthrow the ruling castes of the Three Galaxies starting with Triangulum is the only way we’ll achieve the glory and goodness we had before the Empire fell. Hildra, Shekka; go retrieve the Moondast Gruss, we’ll start there. I was wondering why HK insisted that we clean out the other drydocks.” Jet groused as he leaned back.

“Jet, you can’t be serious!” I squealed and Rivala rubbed my shoulders. “I-I, I need to be alone!” I surprised Rivala into squeaking when I poured into her cleavage and hid in her storage. Blissful, sweet silence and zero gravity. Oh how I need you right now, because my life is beyond ridiculous! I’m not a hero! I can’t be some chosen one! Why me~?!

🎺

Rivala awkwardly gathered Silver’s abandoned sports bra and jeans before stuffing them in her cleavage. “Sh-she...needs some time.” Rivala uneasily said to the assembled group. “Jane used to be a victim of circumstance, someone forced into piracy to survive. She only ever wanted a stable home and someone to love, not all of this.” Rivala said to the newcomers.

“I know the feeling. I never wanted to become a god, yet I have despite it all. Displaced are victims of circumstances. If there was a way I could help her in lessening those chances from happening frequently, I would do it. Trust me; the multiverse is as vicious as it is beautifully exotic, in its own twisted ways.” Berserker said with a shake of his head.

“That’s part of why I want to stay by her. She isn’t just my saucy space-pirate hero, she’s someone who needs someone.” Luster said, still in her revealed ‘true’ form. The others in the crew had easily accepted it. They already knew who she was, what she was didn’t matter. She was utterly beautiful in this form as well, so it was easy to ignore. Not to mention she still had the pink and orange color scheme with her Marks on her hips under the pants.

“Unfortunately, if you haven’t guessed, we Argentines cannot go out in public. Otherwise it would make things harder and alert this UnSC.” Berserker informed them with a huff of annoyance, disgust and simmering fury.

“Not so!” Luster declared with a mischievous smirk. “I know you’re Cybertronians, which all left with Nexus, but a little cosmetic trickery will make everyone assume you’re just extremely advanced androids like HK, Bones, Dee and Daw.” Luster morphed into a unicorn, only she was now synthetic. “Could you tell that I’m a transformer?” Luster asked, her voice now flanged.

“Okay, you made your point.” Berserker reluctantly resigned to Luster’s method of incognito.

“Just don’t go waving around weapons the size of two people without a bulky and obvious means of making it lighter and you’re good. We’ve regressed, but we’re still advanced enough that a lot of your basic gear should be fine unless it’s iconic.” Spike Spiegel said with a shrug after he took a draw from his cigarette.

“Wait, you’re synthetic?!” Shekka and Hildra squealed excitedly from their seats, their eyes sparkling with their tails and long hip-length bunny ears wiggling.

“...Yes.” There was no point in trying to deny it with these Raskvel.

“If I wasn’t infertile, I’d ask for your eggs.” Shekka said perkily before chuckling. “Be warned, us Rasks are technophiles. You’re automatically turbo-sexy to our whole species.”

“Well, at least you aren’t a Tech-Priestess of the Adeptus Mechanicus.” Berserker weakly joked.

“Those freaks from that board game? Pfft, naw, ever since the Skaven vanished with their goddess, not a single species has attempted that, even if they were more like Orks with how they did things that shouldn’t work. Anyway, we Rasks and Gabs worship Nexus, even if she’s gone with the rest.” Shekka snorted and then blinked. “Why do I feel like I should hide?”

“...Wait, did you just mention something about you being infertile?” Berserker asked warily.

“Yep, that’s Shekka. The only known rask who can’t lay more than one or two eggs and they never hatch. Poor bitch.” Hildra rubbed Shekka’s back with a sad expression while Shekka rolled her eyes, but leaned into her fellow raskvel with sadness in those same eyes.

“Right. If you’ll excuse me for a moment.” Berserker said as he left the bridge quickly, not waiting for anyone’s permission.

“Luster, did you notice something about them? I get the feeling they’re hiding something from us.” Faye questioned with an apprehensive look. “And I don’t know if we’re going to like it.”

“Oh, I’m sure it’s nothing we need to worry about. I mean, it’s not like they would distance themselves from Urta, Wiatr and them, right?” Luster asked and everyone shrugged unknowingly. “Right, loss of history and disparate educational standards, we should find out.”

“The past is the past and it’s clearly a sore subject. It may have been recent to you, but it’s been ages for them. Don’t poke at old wounds.” Jet advised and Luster wilted.

🎺

“So, their blessings have faded.” Runner said with sadness from what Berserker had told them from the briefing.

“Apparently so, it was to be expected.” Hunter remarked with a sigh as he shook his head.

“It doesn’t matter. Right now, we’re here for these people. Our wives can redeem themselves after we’ve cleaned up their mess.” Berserker retorted with a snort.

“Will this be the last time we help them and do we still let them come over?” General Helvex asked his kings and queen.

“Yes, this will be the last time.” Berserker answered his Blackshield Guard.

“No, they will not be allowed to come over.” Runner followed up.

“The only way we are ever going to see each other is in Paradise.” Hunter finished and the three nodded. Paradise was a wonderful place free of political bullshit; they could be with their wives whenever they wanted without idiots preventing them from having meaningful or lewd time together. The Marines just didn’t like Paradise for the singular fact that it was so hard to leave.

“All I’m worried about right now is our Empyreals.” Berserker remarked on their silver armored warriors that came with them. “They’ll feel the difference real soon. Same with you, Hunter.”

“I can suppress it, they on the other hand won’t bother to try.” Hunter stated with a snort.

“Not like it matters.” Ionyx, the former Crusader now turned Empyreal, retorted with a shrug.

“Fair enough. Alright, let’s get up to speed on the situation on a grand scale first.” Hunter pulled up his Omni-tool, which was promptly bombarded with ads. “Well...that’s not a good sign…”

🎺

I woke up some time later, which was inconsequential when drifting in a void, even if it was full of...whoa. I was so upset and scared when I came in here, that I didn’t notice Rivala’s preposterous sex toy collection. I felt my slime simmer at all of the toys and promptly turned my attention away from it. Don’t think of how interesting it would be to ride a double-dildo mechanical bull ride, don’t think about it.

...I’m slime so it won’t kill me, I’m still getting used to being a woman...maybe just...one ride?

“You’re awake!” Gah! Oh, right, Luster’s telepathy, but I’m in Rivala’s storage. “Fishing you out now.” Aw, sorry my sexual curiosity, I’ll ride the bull sometime in the future. I remained solid when Luster’s hand appeared and pulled me out of Rivala’s cleavage by the nape. “Hey, it’s been a few hours. Feeling better?” Luster was back to her usual pony self when she set me on my paws and Rivala retrieved my clothes.

“Kinda. I’m still overwhelmed by the fact that we started a genuine rebellion or we’re in the process of starting one at least. A single ship a fleet doesn’t make, lass.” I sighed and slid my jeans on before working my tits into the sports bra, adjusting the red ‘knockout!’ bra around until my massive mams settled comfortably. “I’m a good pilot and I’ve outwitted the best, but I’m no leader. There’s a reason Jet’s the captain and it’s not just because Bebop is his lass.”

“Jane.” Luster took my hands in hers and drew my attention to her eyes. “Jane. Do you know the story of the Gods? Do your people remember?”

“What’s to remember?” I asked and Luster sighed sadly, but then smiled wistfully.

“On Equus, where concepts such as Death, Life, Light and Dark were alien, even Time did not exist. Then, there was Fire and with Fire came Disparity. From the flame came Nito, the first of the Dead. The Witch of Izalith and her coven of Daughters. The Lord of Light, Gwyn and his Order of knights. Then there was the Furtive Pygmy, so easily Forgotten.

“They waged war on the reality of Equus, brought with it Chaos that ended Order and attempted some form of Harmony. But they failed. While Order was beaten back and Chaos breathed vitality into existence, the Gods herded the Mortals and defied the new order without understanding why the Fire began to Fade.

“History from there is forever jumbled, but at some point, Equus fell into an age of Dark, which gave birth to the Twin Sisters: Celestia and Luna, the new bearers of Light and Dark. Together, they brought Harmony to the world, only for it to be shattered so coldly by Lust and Corruption. For thousands of years, Equus was in constant degradation, until she appeared…”

🎺

Jim closed the page of the history archive that his new security clearance as an Ensign provided. He decided that he wanted to know at least a little more about his heritage and ended up reading the most summarized and abridged history he could imagine that wasn’t very flattering at all towards the people who founded the Empire.

Basically, Wiatr was a total slut who saved the Empire’s homeworld with Sex and reproduction. Urta got pulled into her romantic unit and promoted to replace Wiatr as the Fertility goddess because Wiatr had limits and Urta did not, which also led to her becoming the goddess of War and Power. The other primary gods all more-or-less got pulled into Wiatr’s harem without her doing more than being who she was thanks to the machinations of Cadenza, goddess of Love.

It snowballed from there, the rapid rise of prosperity, the jump to being star-faring, then galaxy-spanning, then pan-galactic into the Milky Way, then finally making the gates to Triangulum before the people ‘rose up and drove the tyrants out’. Bleh, fucking historical censorship. Everyone knows that wasn’t true, the greedy fucks kept trying to kill all of the gods and they decided to leave this universe to rot for the betrayal of the people.

They should be so lucky the Argentines don’t come back and-why does he hear boss music?

🎺

The very gravity around Berserker was enough to crumple the weaker scrap around him after he finished reading a summary of the universe that had forsaken his wives and bullied them into fleeing to Paradise. The assassination that ‘took’ Luster Dawn broke the Empire and it fell to pieces with the vultures waiting for their meals. The aftermath was called The Fall and it was grisly. Half of the population of the Three Galaxies was gone within a few years.

A large count were the Faithful who joined the gods in Paradise, but that wasn’t the majority. The rest was a tri-galactic civil war that put the whole Star Wars series to shame times a trillion and changed everything from cooperating governments to disparate feudal states and unfeeling megacorporations that were dubbed the Govs and Corps by natives who weren’t part of either ‘privileged’ group type and forced to knuckle under their new overlords.

This was even with the tri-galaxy wide sabotage left as a final fuck-you from his wives courtesy of their mutual friend Nexus that ensured any technology sufficiently hyper-advanced was hard-locked against use unless the user had divine blood. Considering how the vast majority of relatives to the divines went to Paradise, that was a good blow to the technological independence of the majority of the Fallen Empire.

While said groups had mobile suit technology and vast fleets of ships, they paled in comparison to the state-of-the-art ships from well before the Empire began to decline. Quite frankly, if they did have the power to bring even a single of the Argentinian fleets to this universe, they’d outclass them so much, they might even be able to sweep all three galaxies in two decades!

“Motherfuckers.” Berserker growled as the indignant rage on behalf of his exiled wives started to build up, but he took a deep breath to cool himself off. The last thing he wanted to do was destroy the base and alert any potential UnSC sympathizer, even if what he read about Tarkus being a pirate den was true. “Well, at least I’m not out there. Those two are more capable and only one of them has to act in public. Well, better not keep the rasks waiting for me.” Resigning himself to his fate, he made his way to Shekka and Hildra.

The two busty wide-hipped and gloriously bootied shortstacks were fervently ripping apart a ship thruster and having intact pieces put into their cleavages while the junky droids carried off the scrap. This was because they’d gone and retrieved the Moondast Gruss from the nearby spaceport that was Hildra’s ship due to her being the one to put most of it together. From what he read, raskvel consider tech possession illegitimate unless the owner has tinkered with it.

“Oh, hey! How ya doing?” Shekka casually asked as she continued disassembling.

“I’ll live. Need help or do you want me to wait?” Berserker asked them.

“Heh, as cute as your offer is, we don’t know you well enough for that. Also, wait for what?” Hildra asked in bemusement and Berserker inwardly cursed that he already forgot that raskvel considered working together a sign of intimate trust. These two knew each other already.

“Nevermind. Sorry for bothering you.” He told them as he turned to leave.

“Whoa-whoa! Wait~! Is this about letting us examine you?!” Shekka squeaked and Hildra gasped at remembering that he was a cybertronian, something that didn’t exist after the Fall.

“Yes.” Berserker answered with a sigh, turning to face them again.

“First things first: are you fragile?” Hildra asked when she and her equally short and stacked scaly bunny took both of his hands and began eagerly tugging on him towards the Bebop.

“She means: will you die if we get a bit too invasive and it’s not possible to put you fully back together?” Shekka clarified with clear concern and her purple companion nodded.

“No. If you have questions, ask and I’ll answer them the best I can.” He answered calmly.

“Great! Next, do you have functioning reproductive capabilities? In today’s day and age, only Geth can create fully reproduction-capable synthetic chassis and they refuse to share the ‘Legacy of Nexus’ with any others.” Hildra asked when they started up the ramp.

“Yes.” He nodded.

“Do we have your permission to fuck you?” The two horny rabbit-reptiles asked simultaneously.

“So long as you put a condom on it. That’s my only condition.” Berserker firmly stated since he doesn’t want to cause unnecessary inconveniences at this early stage.

“I’m infertile and I’m sure that’s against our sensibilities?” Shekka looked at Hildra, who shrugged in confusion, as if using a condom was utterly alien. “Well, it’ll feel good either way, sure!” They dragged him to a room that was cluttered with random tech and had a messy bed they gestured him to. “Armor off, hot stuff!”

“We’re going to get very invasive~!” Hildra purred as she tossed her apron off-only panties?!

“Oh, one more thing; I can switch between genders and yes, I’m a mother as well.” Berserker felt it would be prudent to add that information in case they do something that’ll make him go from male to female. They just cooed and ushered for him to hurry up, so he sighed and started.