Pirate Bebop

Ch.2

“Don’t worry, honey. It’ll grow back. I lost all of my feathers to my cryopod, but they came in again in a few weeks.” Faye soothed the distraught mare who was wrapped in a blanket due to still being cold and none of us having bottoms big enough for the thicc and bootyful unicorn babe. My biggest shirt barely covered her boobs, leaving some undercleavage even.

“I’m already over that. There are more important things to be worried about than the temporary loss of my mane and tail to cryostasis. What I’m so upset about is what I’ve gathered just from watching you all interact. My teacher, the Goddess of Friendship: Twilight Sparkle, along with the whole pantheon of the Empire abandoned us.” Luster Dawn sniffled and tightened the blanket around herself on the couch in the lounge/living room.

“To be fair lass; it was the Empire that abandoned them first.” I solemnly commented from my recliner off to the side of the rest of the furniture where I nursed a bottle of beer. Half of me relished the heady, carbonated tang. Half of me hated it so much I about wanted to chuck the damn bottle at the wall. I’ll give up on this nasty grog once we have the chance to restock.

“Silver is right. It was because the Empire stopped following their tenets, laws and sensibilities that the gods have left us to rot. Not to mention all the assassination attempts.” Spike said with his eyes gazing off into the middle-distance like he usually did when off in thought. The brown and black dragon’s brown and light brown eyes glazed while his cigarette burned slowly.

“Madness. Absolute madness. This has to be the fault of Corruption, at least on some level! It’s always been there, insidiously lurking for the slightest moment of weakness! There’s no way any sane person would just...destroy all that the Empire built!” Luster Dawn declared with her bright orange eyes desperately looking between us all for confirmation.

“Dad had theories about that. He observed higher levels of Corruption in samples from people working in the Govs or Corps, but never enough to turn into Demons.” Ed said with a look up from where she’d been tinkering on something like she always was with Ein sitting next to her.

“Whatever the case, the UnSC set us up to take your cryopod from Na-Na XVII to Hogarth VI.” Jet said, but I snorted at recognizing a reference and they all looked at me, but I waved it off. Holy fuck, I love The Iron Giant! “Anyway, I’m willing to bet they were already planning to kill us and take you the rest of the way and used us to throw off any rebels. You’re an important historical figure, even if you were hospitalized and put in stasis after a failed assassination.”

“Wait, I was...I was with my mentor, heading to a meeting between the Zerg and Rachni when there was sudden pain. I remember seeing Twilight’s crying face, but then I woke up here. I knew when I woke up that I was too far gone for immediately available treatment to be enough, but to abandon me here?” Luster morosely thought aloud and Faye rubbed her back.

“I remember that event from some history I read. That was the last straw. The Pantheon decided to take their remaining faithful with them to Paradise, a realm created by the Chaos Trinity. I don’t think they left you intentionally, but they hid you well if you’re only now popping back up.” Faye scratched the underside of her beak.

“Wait, how long has it been? What year is it?” Luster questioned fearfully and I looked at Jet.

“Nobody here knows that. Every major faction of the Govs and each Megacorp has their own version of history, so they all have different dates, but it’s been about 3000 years.” Jet informed our historically displaced guest, who promptly had her eyes roll back and she passed out. “Help her to Faye’s room you two, Silver and I need to talk about our next move.”

🎺

“You’re serious?” Jet asked incredulously as we watched the others work in the cargo bay through the camera feeds on the bridge.

“Quite.” I scratched Flint’s chin while she sat on my shoulder as she kicked her legs happily.

“You can’t believe it’ll work.” Jet huffed with a shake of his head while I grinned.

“I don’t, which is why it’s a gamble.” Heh, if this works like it did that one time over New Noveria, I’ll laugh my damn cyber limbs off. Again.

“I thought you were experienced with this.” Jet grumbled before he plopped his butt into the captain’s chair and worked the console.

“I am. Life as a pirate is a constant gamble. I just got this far because my gut knew when to hold or fold.” I could’ve gambled it on that sexy bitch promising me a life of luxury as her boy toy, but unless there’s Love in it, I don’t want anything intimate. Call me a hopeless romantic.

“Quitting piracy to join an old friend in being a low-price mercenary was when you held?” Jet asked with an amused tone and a flattered grin on his grizzled face.

“Best years of my life, old friend.” Even if they were spent wallowing in regret, the company was great. The Bebop has been the best thing I ever signed on for. We’re like a family here.

“Okay, the container is ready to be launched. Is this really your best idea?” Spike asked skeptically through holo-call on my Omni-Tool and I rolled my eyes.

“Who is the ex-pirate here? I’ve done this before, but if it doesn’t work, there’s always Plan B.” I replied with Flint giggling in my ear. The proto-fairy has been with me more than long enough to know what Plan B is.

“And that is?” Spike demanded while Flint began squeak-laughing and pounding a gooey fist on my cheek in amusement.

“Run like Hell into the nearest cesspit and hope the stiff-nosed asshats are too ‘dignified’ to give chase.” This got amused yet resigned smiles from the two veterans. “Besides, Hogarth VI is a Waste World. The ‘obvious’ handoff point is likely to be a secret space station in the ice rings of the planet that we were never supposed to know about. If we offer a ‘remote delivery’ with a retrieval beacon, they might let us leave since the planet is the sector’s dump site.”

“So if it looks like that’s not enough, we can flee planetside and hide for awhile before making a break for the nearest Relay. Smart.” Jet commented before pulling up a hologram of Hogarth VI. “It has some oceans, so we can even dive the Bebop down if we have to, but considering how full of crud and radiation those oceans will be, we won’t be able to stay more than a few days before the shielding of the Bebop starts getting gummed up from all the sources of interference.”

“Better than just giving up. Alright then, the capsule is ready.” Spike moved the view to the image of the ovoid delivery capsule that was one of dozens in the Bebop’s hangar catapult for just such an occasion. Well, not ditching goods, but remote delivery, even through atmosphere.

“Prepare an automated hailing message so that the moment we’re there, everyone in the system knows. That may even draw some other unlucky schmucks out to distract them from us.” I told my friend before heading down from the bridge to the living quarters where I knocked on Faye’s room. “Is sleeping beauty awake?”

The door opened and Faye slipped through the door before it closed behind her. “No, she’s also still indecent. I really hope she doesn’t mind buying ‘fat’ clothes to be presentable whenever we make it to a port.” I rolled my eyes at the typical feminine fear of the ‘fat’ label.

“Just give me some old clothes, thread, her measurements and I’ll make her some duds.” I huffed and Faye blinked at me in shock. “I’m hundreds of years old, Faye. You don’t get as old as me without picking up some skills.” I flexed my robotic hand and the fingertips deployed multipurpose needles.

“Huh...didn’t take you for a tailor.” Faye muttered before slinking back into her room and I used my goo-hand to rub my snout in frustration. The half of me that wasn’t a pirate was the amateur tailor. Shortly after, Faye emerged with an accordion hamper full of clothes and Luster’s measurements. Hot fuck! I think I just got a serious boner just looking at those numbers!

“I’ll get something made so she isn’t stuck in robes and blankets.” I nodded at Faye and took the assortment of faded jeans, leggings, sweaters, et cetera to my room, which desperately needs to have all these bottles recycled into marbles or something.

🎺

It was always a point of stark beauty and despair, the sight of Hogarth VI. Her ice rings were beautiful, easily comparable to such wonders like the Sol System’s Saturn in the Milky Way. The planet herself, however, was a disgusting brown, black, green and gray stain on the universe. This was only because the agreements among those in power declared the former Skaven planet to be a viable dump site for this entire sector’s waste.

UnSC Captain General Amelia Smollett had this view from the bridge of her ship, the Executor Class Star-Dreadnought UnSCS Legacy. Her post for the past decade has been the clandestine research station nestled in the ice rings of Hogarth VI. Today was an auspicious day if what little she knew from the need-to-know reports was correct.

“Ma’am. We’re ready to deploy the interceptors the moment they enter the system.” Blandly informed Commander Arrow, her loyal Elcorian second in command. He was a huge humanoid, nine feet tall with a shoulder width that intimidated most other species. He was an exemplary figure of the works of the traitor gods. His species were once the Elcor, a slow-moving and hindered species of the Milky Way. Now they rivaled Krogan in strength and combat prowess.

“Excellent work as always, Commander Arrow. I wasn’t expecting this crew of doddering incompetents to be ready for another half hour.” Amelia praised back-handedly as she examined her claws. The feline woman was of Equusian descent, specifically the Covcats. Her lineage could even be traced to Saint Sabrina, who was among the first married to the gods.

“Your praise means the universe, ma’am.” Arrow bowed slightly and she smiled to herself. She did love such capable people like Samuel Arrow. If only she could find more people as dedicated to their job as Sam was.

“Oh shut up, Arrow, you know I don’t mean a word of it~.” Amelia almost chuckled, but restrained herself as she looked down over the bridge. While she did find the lax attitude of most of the crew deplorable, they were at least acceptably capable of their jobs. It would be better if they didn’t need a metaphorical whip-crack to keep on task without supervision.

“Oh, there he goes again.” Arrow grumbled in his species’ deep monotone and Amelia quickly spotted the janitor changeling that was casually pushing the silent floor cleaner around the rim of the room with his opaque amber eyes glimmering brightly at the viewport. “I’ve told that bug multiple times that the bridge is only supposed to be cleaned on the night cycle.”

“But then he’d miss out on the view with the viewport dimmed.” Amelia snorted with a roll of her eyes. The white-shelled black-maned changeling was young, adventurous and had no business being on a high-security ship. How and why he ended up on the Legacy was a complete case of happenstance. The ship needed another janitor, the boy needed a job, the HR department decided it was cheaper to hire an entry-level worker than to move an experienced one around.

“Ma’am, this one has detected a low frequency message being sent out across the system. It seems to be our quarry.” The Hanar manning the comms spoke up before the other one handling the sensor suite brought up a hologram of the Bebop, the humble little brown fishing trawler set up to be the stooge for the acquisition of an extremely valuable historical Relic.

“They have announced their intent to launch the Relic in a container capsule for pick-up.” The other Hanar announced and Amelia gasped.

“They’re onto us! Launch the interceptors! They’ve just attracted the attention of every single scumbag pirate, smuggler and thief in the system!” What were the Brass thinking?! Did they bother to check if this mercenary crew had a history of dealing with betrayal? The last time someone pulled this on her, they got away! That was the most embarrassing day in her career!

“Where are they?” Arrow demanded from the sensor officer.

“They’re on the far side of the planet, they’ve just launched the package and are turning tail.” The Hanar explained as it brought up the trajectories of both the capsule and the Bebop. “Running a scan on the package. Power detected, positive Argent, negative nuclear, positive Eezo. The package is active.”

Damn! Those mercs are genuinely going to cut and run! “Let them go. They’ve given us what we want, but send a signal to the Relay to shut down. If they want to leave the system, they’ll have to make a manual jump and I doubt they’ll have enough rations to last a trip that long.” Amelia snarled. She’ll at least try to keep them in the system while they secure the package from the pirates their stunt will have certainly drawn.

🎺

“Good news. Silver’s stupid plan worked.” Jet announced with a shit-eating grin to his voice while I broke out of feeling extremely aroused at the size of the bra I’d just finished making. Holy fuck did people back then have it good. “Bad news, the people calling the shots are smart. They’ve shut off the Relay, so unless we’re willing to risk a manual jump, we’re stuck here.”

Shit! Damn it! The last person who resorted to that was… “Amelia Smollett.” I growled vindictively. Of course fate would have us meet again. Damn it. She’s maybe the UnSC’s most capable naval general in the Triangulum Galaxy! Yet they waste her on systems like Hogarth.

“We’ve got pirates coming out of the void. I’m seeing a lot of bounties showing up on my HUD!” Spike declared over the comms and I jumped to my paws with Flint turning into a collar on my neck so she wouldn’t get tossed off moments before I sprinted out of my room and down the hall towards the hangar. “Thankfully they’re more focused on the package, but if we don’t clear out of here quickly, we’re in trouble, Jet.”

“You heard him Faye, Silver. Get to the hangar and be ready to launch! I’m taking us down to Hogarth VI, keep any pursuers at bay!” Jet ordered, but I’d already made it to the Morph and melded into her interior’s slime with my borg bits being stowed in the storage compartment where they wouldn’t get in the way of fusing with my crystal-shelled shuttle.

Once I’d fully mixed my slime with the Morph’s goo, my body became one with her’s and my awareness expanded from my own slime to her whole being from bow to stern. “I’m ready to fly.” I reported once I connected to the comm channel and Flint squeaked in confirmation too since she was just as mixed up in this crystal crockpot as I was. She is my partner after all.

“Red Tail is ready to go.” Faye reported and I felt the launch clamps grab my chassis before carrying me to the catapult since I’m the smallest of the four deployables on the Bebop.

“I’ve been sitting in the Swordfish II, just launch me when ready.” Spike announced moments before the hangar vacuumed as much atmo back into the ship as possible before opening up to the void. Fishing trawlers like the Bebop don’t get fancy atmosphere shielding. The fact she has Solar Sails on the outer hull to help power the life support to compensate isn’t even standard.

“We’ve got some company figuring a ship is better than a single container. I’m taking Bebop planetside, meet me in the upper atmosphere.” Jet said moments before I was launched into space. I relished the feeling of weightlessness before I activated my propulsion systems and quickly darted around the Bebop to intercept our pursuers.

My gosh, these guys really are pathetic. Junkers? Garbage scows? By the various gods, these must be former waste management workers or pirates who raided an old scrapyard for their gear. I opened my slug-throwers and began firing mass-accelerated quarrels while still closing the distance. My ammo is just ferrous slugs made from space scrap, but that doesn’t matter.

I felt a mix of satisfaction and disgust as I tore the two idiots apart, making sure to aim for the cockpits to kill them quickly and spare them the agony of being spaced. “I’ve got these ones, I don’t think we’ll even need you, Spike.” Faye reported as I swept over the wrecks, the Morph engulfed small fragments of junk and then processed it rapidly into more ferrous slugs.

Restocked, I flew back towards the Bebop to see Faye’s red-skirted mobile had made short work of the other three attackers. “Figures. Whatever, if that’s all of them, get back here so we can get down to the planet. Maybe we can find some caches that haven’t been raided yet.” Spike huffed and I could understand his frustration. The drake has been itching for action.

🎺

This was a position he was quite used to, on his hands and knees. As a changeling, Jim’s expected role in this disgusting society was to be a sex worker, but his mother begged and pleaded that he avoid that fate like she failed to. That didn’t prevent him from spending most of his time on the floor, although being to clean said floor was more dignified in his opinion.

“Mister Hawkins.” Jim froze at the cultured voice of the Captain General, the feline woman was an imposing and powerful figure aboard the ship and she rightly scared the crap out of him. It was also because he could taste her general disgust and antipathy for anyone who wasn’t up to her exacting standards. The fact he didn’t fall into that category somehow further scared him.

“Ah-hello, Captain General Smollett!” Jim saluted hurriedly after he jumped to his hooves with help from his wings. “Pardon my state of dress, ma’am!” It was just a plain gray utility jumpsuit, but he has been cleaning all day and a ship gets rather grimy in the nooks and crannies.

“At ease, boy. You’re not one of my soldiers.” The fierce feline woman said with a look around the utility closet he’d been cleaning. “I can almost see myself in the pipes, good work, but that’s not why I came to see you. Follow me.” Jim’s surprise wasn’t enough to prevent him from obeying and he quickly followed the gray-uniformed Covcat.

Jim’s curiosity was strong, but he held his tongue. Years of seeing his poor mother be beaten for daring to speak up had ingrained in him the fact his kind were just a step above being slaves. He was grateful he even got such a high-paying job. However, his curiosity spiked when the Captain General brought him to the hangar, specifically to a container.

“Now, Mister Hawkins, I have a theory. Please go into that container and try to open what is inside.” Captain General Smollett requested in a tone that was almost believably a request. He nodded and entered to see a beautiful capsule of sorts, but there was something that confused him besides the ridiculously opulent design of the object.

“Um...ma’am? You do know it’s empty, right?” Jim asked and got a nasal sigh in reply.

“No, but you just proved my theory. Try to open it anyway.” The fierce feline ordered a bit more bluntly and Jim, while even more confused, quickly went to the obvious handle on the front to give it a yank and it popped open. “How did you open it?”

“Um...the release handle on the front?” Jim asked in confusion, only for the woman to nod and pull up an image on her omni of the front of the capsule. “Huh...why isn’t there a handle in the picture?”

“Because, Mister Hawkins, you are descended from the gods strongly enough that you’re the only one onboard able to interact with Relics.” The Captain General’s answer made Jim gawk in shock. Him? A mere changeling? A descendent of divinity? “I’m afraid your job has ended, Mister Hawkins. Welcome to the UnSC navy, Cadet. You will report to Commander Arrow’s office in the morning.” The Covcat declared with a firm tone that brooked no argument.

“A-ah, um, y-yes ma’am!” Jim saluted excitedly. A military job! There hasn’t been a changeling in a formal non-spec-ops military unit for...forever! His mother was already so proud of him getting a proper job, when she hears about this, she might just vomit Love Nectar out of excitement!