Pirate Bebop

Ch.95

“You don’t want my help with names.” Nexus declared unhappily as she played with a slinky of all things in her chair. Apparently she was doing other things wirelessly through her supreme synthetic systems, but right now she didn’t have anything for her physical body to do. Well, besides having sex, but unlike the rest of us she has the ability to control her great libido.

“Aw, why not?” I mewled unhappily, getting the odd sense that I’m missing out on hot sex.

“I’ve accepted over thousands of years that I am terrible at naming things. Do you want your Mobile Suits named Smacky McSmackington and Buttplugger? Because that’s how you get names like that: have me do it.” Nexus replied, the familiarly hyper-hourglassed synthetic Quarian warned us with pouty disappointment and I withheld a snort at the examples.

“You must have a good one.” Jimbo probed with that gentle tone he liked to use when someone wasn’t happy about something, so Nexus must be honestly upset about this issue.

“I’ve had three. The Starhammer, The Pillar of Creation, and The Jewel of Kamino. They’re all dick jokes. Pretty much anything else I ‘named’ was a contribution by a friend or lover. Or rather, the half of me that isn’t a massive dork.” Nexus snorted self-deprecatingly with a wry smile.

“Oh.” Well shit. I’m bad at names too. I mean, I named my old starfighter The Morph after what Rivala was before Luster Dawn restored her back into a full fairy. I should hang out with my oldest friend/lover again. She’s been in Lusty’s womb so much lately that we haven’t spent time together without someone else involved.

“Well, Jane and I aren’t the most inventive with names either. I almost wanted the call my MS the Reiterpallasch, but its default weapon isn’t a rapier, so I’m hesitant.” Jimbo prodded and I nodded in agreement. That’s a frou-frou name. The Strike Sword and Zaku Warrior are more brutal than that.

“Eh, I’d use sex puns.” Nexus suggested before groaning. “And my timer went off on my sex drive cool down. Hold on, let me turn that back on.” Nexus grumbled with her glowing optics flashing multiple colors for a moment. “There, my brain isn’t stuck on lewd stuff now. Okay, fine. How do you feel about these names? Lucille, Shimora, Lunahisa, Meen-Rei-.”

“Yew’re just naming Displaced ya know.” I accused mulishly and Nexus nodded. “Fine. C’mon Jimbo, we’ve gotta figure out names ourselves.” I grabbed his much larger hand and pulled him out of the literal Deus Ex Machina’s workshop with said goddess waving smugly.

“Let’s just think about it, no use stressing over it.” Jimbo grumbled as he patted my shoulder.

🎺

“Hot fuck you people are awesome.” Syri Dorna, now reduced to perhaps the most potent Empyreal on record, said as she sashayed out of the lab the Marines and Vanico had purged her Demonic Taint from her to the point of coating the room in it. The fact it gushed out of her tits like they were hydrants was both epic and deeply unnerving to all involved.

“I think I almost impregnated you.” Vanico joked since everyone was sterilized with magic first.

“Considering all the shit I’ve been through, I think I’m ready to get out of my old career. If You did, I wouldn’t have gotten mad...for long.” Syri chuffed, the ten foot tall amazon looking down at the queens and then up at the kings. “So, what do I owe you? You don’t just do something like this without expecting backpay.” Syri asked with her large fluffy hands on her pup-bearing hips.

“Well, I’m your sister, so I’d want to say you’re clear, but I can’t just hand out favors like this all the time.” Vanico mentioned unhappily and Syri perked so hard her nipples visibly hardened and leaked some milk instead of Taint. “Oh, fuck, right. You’re the sexual aggressor who has a ladyboner for your twin sister when I’ve always been the reluctant gatekeeper.”

“You can fuck your sister later. First, I need to confirm if you’ll be willing to join the Empyreals. There’s no way in Hell we can get all of the Taint out of you. Especially with Wiatr being in pieces right now.” Brennie informed the jackal.

“How about no? My last job was as a member of Steele Tech Security. I want to get away from that life, at least for a bit. That was what led me to being trapped for three years leaching off the Taint from that skull in the sky.” Syri huffed and everyone perked.

“Oh...then we owe you, still. You doing that is likely the only reason why Isillit isn’t a Lust Demon Queen instead of you.” Vinnie stated and everyone else nodded in agreement.

“Okay, well, I don’t know what to ask for beyond a place to sleep, food to eat and maybe a shooting range. I may not want to be on active duty right now, but I love keeping my skills sharp.” Syri suggested and the others all shrugged. “Great. Now, what’s this about you being my sister? Don’t tell me those Akkadi fucks put you through an experiment for failure.”

“Nope! I fell in with the best crowd and got turned into slime, sis! I’m Vanico right now, a fusion of Visilia Themis, Anno Dorna and Cocoa. I’m Neapolitan!” Vanico declared egotistically and then cooed when all three heads got pets from Brennie, Vinnie and Kevin at once. “Roo~, yes~. I’m a good puppy~.”

“My fucking gosh you’re hotter than ever, sis. Welp, I’m gonna follow you around until I’ve got my digs assigned, then I’ll crash for some fucking sleep. I haven’t slept in 3 years. Couldn’t with the constant invigoration that place kept pumping me full of.” Syri shivered with a lustful grin. “So full of.” She got gently booped with the Horny Jail Bat and she sighed in relief. “Thanks.”

“No need to wait. Just ask someone to take you to the Bebop.” Edward told her while the others lavished the triple-flavored slime cerberus in attention. “We’re going to be busy here.”

🎺

“So you’re Anno’s twin sister?” Lucatiel, currently in her normal fluffy tiger-hawk Griffin form, asked the hulking amazon black jackal Diamond Dog curiously. The ten foot tall mini-giantess was stretching out an inadequate tank top with her beach-ball boobas and filling skin-tight jeans so well she had plenty of ass-cleavage on display. “Fraternal? Because I don’t see it.”

“100% twin and then some. We even had Chimerism before we were transformed, so we were an unknown mix of each other’s genes on top of being twins. Shame our triplet sister didn’t form properly and we absorbed her, but that’s life.” Syri shrugged, sending her chest bouncing before she began chugging the Nutrition Flask she must’ve been given by an Argentine.

“Only love can save me now~.” The newest annoying noodle sang in the background winding through the air. Well, Lucatiel only thinks they’re annoying when they’re not being stupidly sexy silly studs or sluts. She’d gone into Jovia to see if the DE needed maintenance, which it did after the Marines kept overloading it, those inconsiderate-.

“Wanna fuck?” Lucatiel spat out her coffee at the casual offer from the busty bulky beauty.

“N-no! I don’t even know you!” Lucatiel flushed hotly through her simulated facial plumage. “I-I mean, I’ve banged a bunch of strangers lately, but I’m trying not to fall into the same lewdness as everyone else. I’ve got too much work to do, even with Anno as my pilot.”

“Aw, so you gave my Big Sis a ride and won’t let me on?” Syri pouted with her blue eyes giving the Cybertronian Griffin a smokey come-hither gaze. “I’m a veteran MS pilot from the Akkadi Engineering Corps. I could drive you like you were my bitch.” Syri lustfully growled and Lucatiel was so horny now that her already basketball-sized boobs had swollen to near-beach balls, causing her blouse to launch buttons across the room and give her absolute cleavage.

“Date first~.” The noodle sang to Syri before handing her the pamphlet of a nearby restaurant.

“Don’t need to go anywhere for a date. Especially when my ride is my transport. C’mon little birdy, I’ll drive.” Syri bent over at the hips, her tits smishing into Luca’s and the hen’s pupils had turned to hearts. No way could she say no now!

🎺

“Has anybody seen Luca? She didn’t show up for her shift.” Jet asked over the conference call that was the end of the day debrief before everyone officially had no work to be done.

“She was last seen going out to the plains where she performed all sorts of acrobatics. Maybe someone took her out for a stress test without permission?” Anno suggested. She was sharing the same screen as Visilia and Cocoa for some reason and looked even perkier than usual. Considering the somewhat ditzy scientist’s chipper personality, that was rather impressive.

“You mean without telling anyone. Remember that Cybertronians have their own agency, they’re not just vehicles to keep track of.” Brennie said firmly and Anno’s ears wilted. “None of that, we’re still new to you, just don’t get caught in that line of thinking.”

“Sorry. Luca and I have kinda been exclusive outside of when she’s on her shifts, so I’m feeling a bit possessive…” Anno admitted a bit sadly and Jet sighed.

“That’s something you need to handle on your own time. Otherwise, have a good evening people.” Jet shut off the call and wondered when those friends he called in would show up.

“Matchmaking is hard.” Aphrodite, one of Eris’s many daughters, grumped nearby.

“Oh baby, what’s wrong?” Eris asked the flamingo/tropical bird noodle since she’d been clinging to Jet like a lifeline. Then again, ever since her powers were restricted, she’s been in desperate need of support. Jet was more than willing to be her rock in this scary new time of her life.

“Everyone just wants to jump straight to sex! No one wants to do romance like dates or little gestures or-wah~.” Aphrodite wept and Jet sighed as he helped soothe the noodle wrapped around her mama’s neck. He too lamented the days of romance polite society afforded people. Sadly, this universe had devolved into a pit of scum and villainy that made such things wasteful.

“Jet, I know the day’s work is done, but I just got a hail from a ship that jumped into the system and they’re asking for you.” Jet perked at the call that came up on the Bebop’s console.

“Is the ship a big green leaf-shaped eyesore called the Blade?” Jet asked hopefully and Eris choked and sputtered.

“W-wait! You mean she wasn’t around back then because she’s from this time?!” Eris demanded and Jet looked at his girlfriend in confusion, the Time Serpent Draconequus looked beyond annoyed. “I was looking all over for this horny bitch! I figured she would’ve made such a good member of Nexus’s harem, too!”

“Considering she and her sister have serious trust issues, I don’t know if that’s even possible. Her species was discovered shortly after the Empire fell anyway.” Jet mumbled as he brought up the hail. “This is Jet-.”

“Hey you old horndog!” Cheered the voice of a woman so self-assured that Jet realized why he felt so comfortable with Jane when they first met. Both the salty slime dog and this ex-girl-oh. Oh no. Jet just realized-. “Still single?” Shit… “Uh-oh, silence. Damn. I guess he’s off the menu, Kally.” Maybe this wasn’t a good idea in hindsight.

“Kiro, stop teasing him.” A slightly older, more gentle woman’s voice chided the other. “Hi Jet. So this is the Rebellion you pitched to us, huh? Really big compared to what you mentioned a month ago.” The line opened up visual, revealing two hyper-busty Tanuki babes with enormously fluffy tails. Both looked like they’d sprung out of the Golden Age with their figures.

The clearly younger one wore a skintight red unitard with a window for her deep cleavage and cut off at her biceps and thighs to let her mocha fur show. The barely older one wore a much more ‘dated’ outfit that wouldn’t be out of place on a tavern wench from old sailing tales, but with a miniskirt instead of a full one. Both had long, flowing, billowing manes to go with their tails.

“Oh~, so Jet dated you two?” Eris purred in Jet’s ear while Aphrodite calmed down, sleeping on her mother’s neck at the comforting sensation of romantic tension. “I thought you were the sort to go for quiet, polite and ladylike girls.” Oh, no, shots fired!

“Yeah, why do you think we’re his exes? Yeah, we could get him up, but we couldn’t hold on to him, the gentleman that he is.” Kiro, the spunkier one, pouted and crossed her arms under her bust intentionally. “I see his taste in physical beauty hasn’t degraded.”

“Why, thank you. I’m trying to dial back my shenanigans for him since I also need to slow down for my health. I’m Eris, the Goddess of Time. It’s far more Chaotic than most people imagine.” Eris introduced herself and while Kally looked a bit worried, Kiro just got a bigger grin.

“Are you open to swinging~? You seem the kind of girl I’d love to f-mmph!” Kiro was interrupted by Kally shoving her amazing tail fluff into her sister’s face.

“Sis, we are here for serious matters! Ahem. We’re here to join since we’re sick of dodging the Corps and Govs just to survive. What do we need to do?” Kally asked while her sister wrestled against the tail that was so fluffy it could have a person curled up inside the space it took up. Hot damn, Jet was remembering why he went through a Tanuki phase. Hnng, those tails.

“Just accept the IFF code and set it as your signature. Welcome to the Rebel Alliance.” Jet sent it and Kiro managed to escape her sister’s tail floof in time to start cursing before Kally hung up.

“So~. You called up your exes, hm?” Eris asked with a teasing lilt and she straddled his lap before he could get out of the chair and kissed him with her tits pressing into his throat. “*smooch* I’m okay with it, so long as you keep me in your heart.” Eris assured him as she kneaded his pecs near his sternum. “However, I don’t think you know what you’ve done.”

🎺

“Tanuki do what?” Visilia, Brennie and Vinnie all asked with drool on their lips, hearts for pupils in their optics and their nipples bullet hard in their clothes. The rest of the Argentines in attendance of the impromptu briefing that was assembled due to the species the crew of the new corvette-cruiser joining the fleet were more subdued, but no less surprised.

“They absorb humidity in the air to rapidly convert ingested nutrition into highly nutritious semen and breast milk. Tanuki hail from the Kui-Tan system in Andromeda and were discovered shortly after the Fall of the Empire. So this is officially our First Contact with them as a species.” Marcus announced seriously with clear interest.

“This sounds like the mythological tales of the Tanuki from back home. More or less. Although, these ones are a bit excessive.” Kevin remembered the stories his father would tell him. Maybe they could use this information to tease a certain Grey Jedi relative of theirs in the future.

“Just be aware that they have no Females. Tanuki are near-exclusively Hermaphroditic with the very rare Male. Before they were discovered, testicular or mammary immobility was a genuine issue for the species since they’d evolved in a moisture-rich, nutrition-dense environment that was, oddly, short of readily harvestable food sources. So they evolved to absorb nutrition and concentrate it for distribution like Changeling Honeypots.”

“Which became a problem when they got more advanced and suddenly didn’t need to share their nutrition around.” Brennie theorized and got a nod from her son. “So it makes sense their transition to space-faring society was rather easy when they could recycle their own nutrition.” Brennie scanned the document on her omni-tool to verify this.

“Especially since their homeworld was forcibly seized and turned into an agri-world exclusive for farming non-native crops. Ones chosen specifically because the Tanuki are allergic to them.” A Scinox officer pointed out with enraged disgust. “The Empire was gone barely a decade and everything Harmonia espoused was thrown in the garbage.”

“So, they had to abandon their homeworld and flee with what they had on hand?” Vinnie questioned with a scowl.

“With convenient junker ships provided ‘free of charge’ for them to find new homes. Obviously, since they’ve ended up in a similar situation that the Quarians back in the day had: they weren’t welcome elsewhere on a permanent basis. At least due to their ‘unclean’ natures, they still maintain rather robust immune systems.” Visilia read with her fangs bared.

“I’m surprised there were none among the pirates or rebellion before this.” Admiral Thaddeus commented with bemusement.

“They came from Andromeda, through old ways. Those crazy canids used the Warp to get here. I suppose being outcasts from polite society as a whole tends to make people desperate and thus resourceful.” Edward sneered in disgust and admiration.

“There is nothing polite in a society conditioned the way it is by MegaCorps and Puppet Governments.” Brennie scoffed at even the sarcastic notion and how blatantly stupid people have become.

“That said, they’re considered endangered in spite of their prodigal natural virility and fertility due to the restrictions of their environment. The path ahead is clear as it has been in the past.” King Hydrax declared with certainty. “Not to mention their natural traits, unaltered by magic or science, are clearly to the liking of a majority of this room.”

“Fuck yes!” Said majority chorused eagerly and the ancient Tartarus Demon King chuckled.

“Sirs and Ma’ams, another ship just came out of Warp. It's a Tanuki Liveship wanting to trade and dock for a few weeks. They followed the beacon set by the Blade.” Everyone looked at each other with a mixture of exasperation and concern. They’re desperate.

“Tell them they can stay as long as they wish and they are free to join the civilian flotilla.” King Hydrax declared to the agreement of those around him. Not because he’s the King, but because they agreed. So long as the reason was reasonable, he would always at least listen to an objection. “In fact, they can even land ships on Tarkus. Extend our hospitality.”

A display of light went off not too far off in space in the shape of a leaf with a circular portion missing on one side. Suddenly the Blade and the unnamed Liveship began slowly approaching Tarkus instead of holding their distance. “Well, they’re eager.” Rico commented glumly.

🎺

I don’t know why, but the Force insisted I be in this terminal at the Nova public spaceport. I’d left Jimbo to keep thinking about names for our Mobile Suits while I let the Force guide me again. I really, really hope that this isn’t another situation like with Tecai. Please don’t be a Sith Lord barely clinging to reason and morality. I gawked at the tide of aliens that suddenly began filling the terminal. Oh my gosh, they’re all turbo-hot! Who and what are they?!

“Well! I see someone’s gobsmacked at our beauty!” A voice similar to mine stated and I focused on the utterly gorgeous mocha-furred woman with a chocolate mane of hair approaching me. She wore a red unitard that didn’t hide her cleavage or limbs and her paws were in high boots.

“She’s quite beautiful herself. Hey, mind giving us a tour? We’re going to be here for as long as the Alliance lets us.” The more ‘mature’ beauty next to this alien version of me said and I swallowed dryly.

“Which I hope is a long time~.” The younger babe lustfully looked me over and I nodded.

Force? I love you.