Beat Hazard

"But first, we rob a gas station."

"Alright Starbass, we're gonna go in, bust a few caps, then jet, alright?" Prince explained.

"Matters by how many ponies are in there." I replied.

"So what do you suppose we do? Drop em' on the ground and slap em with our dicks? We're two ponies, not the Korean army!" Prince countered.

I was thinking, two ponies, two pistols, innocent civilians, that EMP Blaster that Vinyl gave me for my birthday.....

"I GOT IT!" I fist pumped.

"We hold em' hostage!" I yelled

So here was the game plan, Prince was the Distraction, he went in and caused a scene to lure everypony over to him. I was the Main Man, when everyone was off their guard, I went in and took all the money from the register. If all else fails, I EMP the whole store, then we grab our pistols that we would leave under a bush. We would then tell them to drop on the ground, become our bitches, or feel some lead.

"Alrighty, this is the gas station?" I asked Prince as we walked up to the Ponyville Gas-n-Dash, damn, that place was huge.

"Yup, as long as we stick to the plan, nothing will fuck up." Prince was confident.

We hid our pistols under a nearby bush and started into the store. The place had like, 10 mini-aisles and a whole freezer section. I wonder how the beings from other dimensions put up with this bull. Prince walked over to the lighters, I walked up to the lotto area which was right next to the register. In a quick motion I nodded a Prince. He then ignited a light on his hoof.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! FUCKING SHIT! IT BURNS! HELP! I'M TRYING HARD AS FUCK NOT TO MAKE A RACIST JOKE! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Prince screamed. Everypony ran over to him while some looked for fire extinguishers. I ran over to the register and looked.

The register demanded a password. Damn, bitches have everything. Um, 6969? DENIED. 1234? DENIED. 1337 DENIED. 9876? DE-FUCKING-NIED! STOP TRYING, YOU SUCK PASSWORD BALLS! This was one cocky ass register.

"Hey! That pony's trying to get into the register!" A pony saw me. Well, time for Plan B. I pulled out my EMP blaster and shot up. The blast affected the entire store, all phones, lights, and electronics were disabled. Prince and I quickly ran out and ran back in. By the was, Prince's hoof was fine, he was just wearing a grey fur glove.

"Alright all you bitches! Anyone try to call the police or leave get's to have a fucking bullet to the head!" Prince yelled.

For my scream, I decided to just become an asshole."PUT YOUR HOOVES UP, ALL MARES TURN AROUND, JUST GIMME THE BITS AND NOBODY GETS FUCKED!"

"All but one mare turned around. It was Derpy. "Oh Derpy, I still remember the day we had sex after just meeting. You know, when I was still in the whole Stargaze phase."

"You fucked Derpy?" Prince asked.

"I've done a lot of things."

"Now Derpy, since you have the whole....eye thing going on, I'm gonna be different with you." I said in my sweetest voice.

"Really?" Derpy's eyes shined.

"No. NOW TURN THE FUCK AROUND!"

"Alright, I'm gonna ask you again, what the code to the damn register?" Prince pressed his gun to the cashier's head.

"Oh please, for the love of Celestia, I have a wife, two twin foals! I'll do anything! Just please don't kill me!" The cashier begged.

"Hmm, I guess I can spare all of you." Prince decided.

"We're gonna kill them all when we're done right?" I asked Prince.

"Oh yeah." Prince replied.

"So once again asshole, what the fucking password?" I asked the cashier.

"9696!" The cashier stuttered.

"You have a fucked up mind bro." Prince replied.

10,00 bits. What gas station has 10,000 FUCKING BITS!? NEXT TIME, WE'RE ROBBING THE BANK! So we got all the money, threw it in a sack, then brutally raped and murdered every mare, then shot all the stallions. Alright, what we REALLY did was knock them unconscious. They won't remember a thing. Except the fact that Prince actually did do one of the knocked out mares. Honestly, I don't know about the guy.

"You should've seen the look on everypony's faces! That shit was priceless!"

So that chapter was actually and event that occurs in the chapter, Drunk Gamers, so go check that out! Also, check out this new story I'm in. I play the character Aaron of course.