Last Stop on the Mail Route

All out of napkins. Thankfully, Dinky is all out of Ice cream. We survived.

I'm checking the Pamphlet that Dinky got from the HEMA guys; they actually have some pretty decent historical roots throughout Equestria. While it's more ceremonial now since Equestria doesn't have a standing army -- apparently they once had a military similar to Knights and Lordships, according to pre-Luna-banishment texts. Ain't that something.

Dinky, the true victim in her battle, is out cold, nestled up against my side and snoring, curled up in a cute little ball. Tucked under the flap of my jacket, she's doing that funny snore again. I guess she's been riding a sugar rush for the last few hours; after that ice cream, she sugar crashed, hard. She's been pretty busy for the last few hours, so it tracks.

"Excuse me; are you Mister Muss?" I hear call out to me, in a surprisingly formal and firm voice. I glance over -- and a pair of Royal Guards are approaching, donned in their usual armor. Steely eyes watch me as they near.

"Sure am." I nod, reclining back on the bench. "How's the day, fellas?"

The pause in front of me, the second one directing crowd traffic around us. The first glances down at Dinky, raising an eyebrow. "...Good." He notes oddly.

"Watching the kid for her mom -- she's running the Wonderbolt track." I inform, nodding up. He follows my nod, squinting at the clouds.

"I see. Just a delivery, Sir."
He digs through a side-pouch with his mouth, presenting me with a scroll.

"What for?" I ask, leaning forward to take it.

"A Royal Invitation to join Princess Celestia tomorrow, at Noon, for Lunch. Present the summons at the gate, and you'll be granted entry." He explains, standing tall.

How the hell did she figure out I was here?

Actually, its pretty believable. Twilight could have told her -- and she's probably got eyes everywhere. She's one of those gentle but firm, omnipresent ruler types.

Unfurling the scroll, it's a signed and wax-no-longer-sealed Invitation. Standard written fare, usual royal mumbo jumbo; at your convenience, we invite you, have a good one, so on. Except she wrote 'Nonny' at the end. With a 'P.S, bring your Marefriend'."

Well, that's gonna throw Derpy for a loop.

"Gotchya. Thanks." I nod, tucking it away into my pocket, with the other pamphlets.

I expected him to march off -- but I see him glance at my leg, as the metallic pole sticks out under the ankle of my pants, just above the shoe, crossed up on my other knee; then to my cheek. And probably the whole me. I'm an odd one out, for sure. He just looks curious, a smidge on the young side.

"If you want to ask about it, you can." I float; I know Ponies aren't used to prosthetics, but a Guard might have a unique opinion on it that I haven't heard yet. Curiosity like that is what helps keep me sane in this place.

He seems to contemplate the offer for a moment.
"...Service?" He asks; his tone is softer. Real, not presenting a Royal order.

"Of a sort." I nod.

"...You've got the eyes; like some of the Old Guard." He responds, letting it hang in the air a moment. Not quite what I expected him to say.

"Good day, Sir." He affirms, giving me a polite nod and backing away. The other Guard quickly falls in beside him, as they part through the crowd towards the distant castle.

I've got the eyes? Huh. Wonder what this Old Guard is. I should ask Tia tomorrow.

It's not long after, I hear a pair of flapping wings closing in; other Pegasi have been flying around, but they usually keep pretty high. These flaps are getting close, quick.

I glance up, shifting the brim of the HEMA hat I pilfered from the sleeping Dinky. Needed something to block the sun from my eyes, and she still had that loggers one. That special little bubble-flanked Mare of mine swoops down towards the bench Dinky (still snoring) and I sit on -- and she's not alone, a second, blue Mare swooping down alongside her; Rainbow Dash.

Dash comes scooting to a stop beside the bench, grinning.
"Hey Anon! Didn't expect to see you here!"

Derpy nearly drops right on me, flapping to a quick stop; she doesn't even land, dropping a bundled parchment on my lap. Before I can react, her hooves roughly grab the sides of my face, and I'm pulled into the wettest, smoochiest kiss she's ever given me, nostrils breathing hot air on my face as she pants for breath, without breaking the kiss. She didn't even get my lips the first try, shifting to fix the sloppy, borderline saucy greeting after, more focused on mashing as much of her lips against mine as she can.

I'm caught entirely by surprise. Brain blanks.

There's an audible 'Muah' as she pulls away, grinning widely at me, still panting. She lets me go, dropping to the road and bringing her wings in.

My eyes are wide, brain still processing. Won't catch me complaining, but definitely not how I was expecting her to come back. Wouldn't mind if that became her usual greeting. That gets me focused on her, and she... damn.

Derpy looks... good, in a messy way. Her Mane is swept back from the high-speed flying, her breathing is hard and heavy from the exercise, chest rising and falling rapidly; and she's damp from sweat. Her eyes are wide, open, vibrant; she looks alive.

Derpy and I aren't the only ones with a blush on our faces; Dash is giving us an incredulous look, face a deeper blue than usual.
"Wow." She mumbles. "Didn't know you guys were a thing. That's cool. Congrats?"

Derpy's expression slips to a more bashful one, giggling softly.
"Y-yeah. Sorry. But -- how is Dinky?" She asks, glancing to her daughter.

Takes me a few more blinks to shift back to reality. That was one hell of a hello, and words take a few seconds. I wipe some of the saliva on my sleeve, clearing my throat.
"...Hey Dash. Yeah, Dinky's good; checked a few booths, got an ice cream; she's a bit pooped. Been napping for a few minutes."

I tickle the base of Dinky's ear; it flicks, the little Filly making a little whinny in her sleep, interrupting the snoring.

Dash stifles a chuckle, giving Derpy a soft nudge on the shoulder.
"I'll, uh... leave you guys to it. Good racing you, Derpy; see you Anon!"

We both wave as Dash launches back into the sky, off to wherever she tends to race off to. Maybe a favorite cloud or something.

"Someone looks like she had a blast." I can barely utter, before Derpy hops up on the bench with me; she's practically half on my lap, head leaning on my shoulder, still exuding a tired excitement.

"I haven't felt like that in years. Once I got the track down, I started finding the sweet spots -- and them I started catching up to Rainbow Dash, and without even speaking, we started racing, and we were gapping the other participants, and she had the lead but I kept the tighter corners, and --" Derpy rambles between heavy breaths, her tired body trying to match how much air she's huffing with all her words.
"But - Look!" She practically beams, pointing to the bundled paper she dropped on me moments prior with her nose. I take it, giving it a quick look-over once I unfurl it.

It's an invitation to a Wonderbolts try-out, staged in a months time at Cloudsdale.

"God damn, Derpy. Seriously?" I laugh, pulling her close and into a hug. She giggles, leaning into it.

"Yeah! I mean, they were handing plenty of them out, but... it felt good, getting to stretch my wings like that. Getting noticed, I guess. Made me feel like a filly again." She sighs, still smiling. She nestles in beside me, tucked in under my arm as she catches her breath. She's leaning against me pretty hard.

"Derpy the Wonderbolt. Has a good ring to it, I think." I tease, folding up the paper and tucking it into her purse. "Good to see you getting along with Dash, too."

"Yeah, she's... something. And that something is fast, mostly." Derpy smiles. I think there's a little more to it, but I don't push. "And what about you? Dinky give you any trouble while I was gone?" She asks, turning the attention to me.

"Well, your Filly either has a very exciting career in Fishing, Historical Equestrian Martial Arts, or Logging ahead of her, if education doesn't pan out." I list off, tapping them out on my fingers. "Which, it probably will, the way the Canterlot Unicorn University's booth guy took an interest in her. After he was done asking me questions about what the fuck I am, anyway." I explain, producing the various pamphlets, and pointing at the pair of hat's that Dinky had gathered, one of which was on my own head.

She's incredulous at first, but her eyes widen as I start speaking about the University.
"Oh -- The University! I didn't miss that, did I? How did it go?!" She asks, pressing her hooves into me with worry.

"No, no--only pamphlets today. They're hosting an event in the evening tomorrow, which they heavily recommended we visit." I explain, reassuring her; she sighs in relief, a hoof to her chest. "Apparently, someone is quite skilled for her age."

That gets a relieved smile out of Derpy.
"The University is one of the biggest reasons I wanted to come for the Fair; thank you, Anon. Sorry I was gone for so long." She elaborates, leaning past me to look at the snoozing Dinky. She smiles, leaning back against me.

"Of course; and no problem, Dinky is fun to hang with. I think we've hit the most important booths; which is good, since we're gonna have a busy day tomorrow, anyway." I say, ruffling her side fur with a hand.

"What do you mean? The University Event is in the evening, right?" She asks, glancing up.

I rustle the Royal Invitation out of my pocket, holding the top of it and letting it unfurl. I almost hold it in front of her; but remember Dinky does most of her reading, holding it up for both of us. She squints at it, looking at me expectantly.

"Remember how I said the Princess was my Penpal?" I start, getting a curious look from Derpy.

"...Yes? Were you joking?" She asks, unsure where I'm going with this.

I clear my throat, and begin reading the Royal Invitation.

As I reach each new sentence, Derpy's jaw drops more. Halfway through, I don't think it can get any more open. Then I get to the P.S, and finish the letter.

She grabs me with her hooves, pulling me close, nose to nose.
"Anon what do you MEAN THE PRINCESS KNOWS WE'RE DATING?!" She exclaims -- pausing as a fair few heads turn from the nearby crowds. She's a little too amped up to notice.

"Well, I've told her about you in my last letter, of course. Though, I wasn't expecting the invitation; I didn't even tell her we were coming, but I guess the guards relayed. Not like I exactly blend in." That's my best guess, anyway.

Derpy looks... well, there's a real solid mix of emotions on her face. Excitement, from the track. More excitement, from thinking about the University Event tomorrow. Sheer panic, from the idea of meeting the Princess of the entire nation over lunch.

"You don't have to go if you don't want to." I try to offer, but she gives me a glare.

"I can't refuse the PRINCESS, Anon! It said bring me! Who says no to the Princess?! OF EQUESTRIA?!"

"Okay? Wake up, breakfast, say hi to the Princess for Lunch, and then hit the University Event, Dinner, then we head home. Sounds like we have our day planned." I recount simply. Really wasn't that big of a deal.

She stares at me silently for several moments, before slumping against my side. Either my relaxed attitude is contagious, or she just doesn't have the energy for this.
"Every moment you make my life easier, you counteract it with something I can never predict." She mumbles.

"That a bad thing?" I tease, running my hand through her mane. Her face scrunches.

"Don't do that. I'm... sweaty." She weakly rebuffs, but I continue.

"I don't think I could care any less. I'm just glad you had fun." I return. She relents, letting me continue.

"...I don't have anything to wear." She mutters. "I left my dress at home. I'll look silly."

"Lunch with Tia is a casual type of thing. The only thing she ever wears is shoes, crown and a... peytral. That's the word." Surprised I remembered that one, actually.

"...'Nonny'. I still can't believe you're actually on a nickname basis with the Princess." Derpy mumbles, chest hefting with a deep breath as she calms herself.

"I'm like... an ambassadorial endangered species, or something. I forget how she puts it. Gives her an interest in my wellbeing, so she checks up on me. Nothing special. Well, when Luna isn't popping by my dreams to do it for her." I explain, leaning back.

"Luna?" She repeats; I half expect another explosive reaction when the second Princess comes into play, but she just deflates, sinking into me further.
"...I think I'm burnt out for the day, Anon. Can we go back to the hotel?" Derpy groans, bumping my side with her head. I guess knowing two Princesses was the tipping point.

"Want me to carry you?" I offer, starting to wriggle one of my hands underneath her.

"What? No, I..." Derpy trails off. She pauses, wincing as she gives her wings a flutter, sore from the sudden burst of use now that she'd sat down for a moment.

There's a pause.

"Would you really?" She asks quietly.