Last Stop on the Mail Route

I would. Really.

I guess the way I walk into the Hotel was enough for a crack to form in that Professional demeanor the Clerk had been holding so firmly. It's only for a moment, but I spy that incredulous, confused look. And honestly, I don't blame them.

I'm wearing two hats that don't quite fit me, brims stuck in different directions. In my right arm, I've got Derpy pressed up against my chest. Her hooves are wrapped over my shoulders, overtop her purse which still dangles from me, and she's curled up in my arm, wings wrapped around me for support. She exerted herself a LOT more than she'd realized, and was absolutely pooped, head leant on my shoulder.

My other arm carries Dinky in a football hold, little hooves hanging and swinging in the air. Dinkers' been out like a light since she finished that monstrosity they called an ice-cream; the sugar and excitement had caught up to her, and she's probably be out for a while. Two naps in a day. Double-napper, some might say. As a fellow enjoyer of naps, I found that to be a respectable number.

I reach the front desk, shifting my grip on Derpy. She makes a small noise; I think she's too tired to be embarrassed. She's not asleep like Dinky, but she's got her full weight on me, completely slumped. I'm real fucking glad these pastel mini-horse things don't weigh nearly as much as an actual horse. Sturdy or not, Pegasi weigh even less than the already pretty light Ponies; and the arm holding Derpy is thankful.

"Any chance you could get our room door for me? Arms a little full at the moment." I ask, snooty and playful tone I'd taken with them before forgotten. I just wanted to get these two settled.

The clerk recovers quickly, clearing their throat and hopping out from behind the desk.
"Of course, Sir. Right this way."

Once we get back in the room, the Clerk smiles, shutting the door behind us.

Three flights of stairs.

One Filly and one Mare.

My legs (All 1.5 of them) are burning. I'm glad I stayed some what fit; thankfully, once we're back in, Derpy rouses somewhat, and I can take a rough knee to let her down, hooves tapping against the carpet.

"Thank you, Anon." She whispers, before stretching on the ground. Her wings tremble, and I swear I hear a pop as they reach to their full length, a long, low groan escaping her.
"I... really should have stretched first." Derpy mumbles, wincing.

I feel that.

Dinky gets wrapped up in a blanket and placed half on a pillow, tucked on the vast expanse of bed. Her collection of hats and pamphlets, and my royal lunch invitation, are placed squarely on the table.

I take a hard sit on one of the chairs, letting my own groan wheeze out of me. It earns a sympathetic look from Derpy, as she meanders for the bathroom. The hats are tossed towards the table. One makes it, the other hits the floor. What a shame.

"Would you mind?" I hear her call. I'm busy staring at the ceiling, leant over the back of this pony-plus sized chair, trying to work a kink out of my back.

"Wuh?" It's more a noise than an actual word that escapes me.

"If I hopped in first? I'm a bit..."

My head rolls over, catching Derpy standing in the doorway to the bathroom. Ah. Shower.

"Do your thing. I'll make sure Dinky doesn't plummet from the edge of the bed and leave a crater." I joke. It was a pretty tall bed.

She smiles weakly, obviously dead tired. She was going to sleep like a rock tonight.

"Figure dinner out when you're done?" I ask as she's partway inside.

"O-okay!" I hear her call from inside the bathroom; the grey flank disappears, the door shutting. It's me. Myself. My thoughts.

And Dinky's comical 'Mimimi' snoring.

Well, got some time until she's done in there. Another sigh escapes me as I lean forward; I doubt we're going back out, at least for a bit. It's what... a little past noon? Probably save our stomachs for a big dinner later. I've still got a few bits. Could do something casual, Canterlot style.

I kick off a shoe, tossing it towards the door. And a whole leg -- as tempting as it is to chuck it, too, I set it beside the chair.

Whoof. And to think, we still had a whole other day here lined up. Won't be roaming booth-to-booth like today, at least. A nice morning breakfast, lunch with Tia -- that's gonna be interesting -- and wrap it up with a school presentation.

I can hear the shower kick on, water sprinkling, muffled through the door. Sounds like good pressure in there. Can't wait for my turn. Wonder if she'll leave me any hot water; I'm actually kind of excited to try the shower. I lucked out with this whole Alicorn-sized-suite thing.

The day went nice, I muse quietly. Some surprisingly good things played out; didn't expect Dinky to gravitate quite where she did, but Derpy had a blast. That, I was happy for. Wasn't expecting to ambush Derpy with a royal invite, but... that one wasn't really my fault. Plus, talk about connections, huh? Tia had her own school and students... wouldn't hurt to ask.

Honestly, this chair wasn't half bad. Wood with a plush, emerald cushion. I could squeeze a good nights sleep out of this thing. Just gotta find the right pose that'll make me look like a mangled corpse; then I'll snooze just fine.

Kind of had to pee. Not terribly, but kind of.

My hands idly slap the sides of the chair, lip pursing. I blow a raspberry, glancing around the room. Cool candle.

My eyes wander to the bar. I really wasn't much of a beer guy. Or a wine guy. I liked the sip something with flavor, at the most. Drunk... didn't really work for me. Not a safe choice for guys like me.

I hobble up and out of the chair, hopping a few steps to lean against the wood; it's a little half-bar, no stools, enough room for one pony to mix, and others to be served.

Since I'm not Pony size, I just reach over from the front side and start plucking bottles off the wall, reading them. The whole shared language thing... one of the many things I did just, not think about.

Whinny Whiskey... Veritable Van-Hoof Vodka... I notice the percentages are significantly lower than most human alcohols. Good to know for drinking contests, that I will never be a part of.

I debate trying a sip of the whiskey, at least, watching the murky liquid slosh around in the glass.

There's a muffled voice in the bathroom, pulling me from my rumination. And then a thump. The bottle taps against the countertop as I pause, craning my neck, listening.

There's a quiet pause, just the water running. Whole suite is pretty silent. Just snoring, and water.

I hear the voice again, louder. Still too muffled, but I don't think she's singing.

Well, I'm not putting my leg back on that quickly. Leaving the bottle on the bar, I use my arms for leverage, hopping and leaning my way over to the bathroom door.

I pause, leant against the doorway. I knock.

"You talking to me, Derpy?" I call, hovering close to the door.

"...C-could you c-come in?" I barely hear. Hope she didn't get hurt, slipping or something.

I slowly open the door, pausing once it's cracked.

"You asking me to come in?" I repeat, just in case I misheard.

"...Y-yes."

"Want me to look away? You need a towel or something?" I try to ask, my tone soft.

"J-just get in here, Anon. P-Please." She re-affirms, a tinge of worry in her voice.

Alright. Not really sure what to expect here; not like I can walk in on her being indecent. She's naked the entire time, anyway. Can a pony even be indecent?

I push inside the bathroom, hopping in. I use the sink counter for support as I shut the door behind myself, and...

Derpy's laying awkwardly in the middle of the shower, half on her side, half on her back, water pouring down on her. She's soaked, obviously, and I see the bar of soap at my feet -- entirely across the bathroom from her. One of her wings are fully extended, stuck out in the air; the other is awkwardly stuck underneath her, half-folded. Looks like she tipped, and got stuck, too sore to fix herself. That can't be comfortable.

I purse my lips, trying to figure if there's any problems beyond her having dropped the soap all the way across the bathroom.

"...The soap?" I guess, pointing down at it.

"...I'm s-stuck, and t-the waters c-cold." She shivers out. Oh. Yeah that'd do it. "A-and the s-soap, yes."

"On my way." I grunt, leaning down to grab it -- it's wet, so I don't bother trying to hang onto it, just lobbing it somewhere into the oversized shower, as it pings off the wall and slips around.

"S-sorry, I d-didn't know y-you g-got... c-comfortable?" She tries to piece out, teeth chattering, pointing out my lack of a leg.

"Master-class one-leg hopper, here. Don't worry about it." I reaffirm, making my way over to the shower. Consider me a seasoned Pogo-ist. I slip my jacket off while I do, laying it on the bathroom counter. One small problem to helping her, and the reason why I'm starting to undress.

The showers handle is fully inside said shower, on the opposite wall of the entrance. To either turn it up so she isn't freezing, or get her up off her side, I'm gonna have to get wet. There's nowhere for me to lean carefully out of the way; the showerhead is designed for a from-above, full shower saturation. Curse the deluxe package.

"I get having a cold shower after burning hot like that, but you might be overdoing it." I tease, leaning against the glass wall of the shower, now. Still in my shirt and pants. Good thing I brought a change of clothes; figured something would happen to them. "Ever think of our first shower together playing out like this?"

"N-not... e-exactly. S-sorry, A-anon." She mumbles, glancing away.

"You gotta stop apologizing so m--WOW, that's f-fucking c-cold." My teeth practically slam together as I stick my arm in to test. She's got this shit FRIGID. How the fuck was she just sitting here in this?!

No point trying to get used to it; we'll be popsicles before then. My face scrunches, and I duck in. It's like icy little daggers stabbing me all over, and my clothes soaking it all up really doesn't help.

coldcoldcoldcolddon'triponderpycoldcoldcoldcoldcold--

I don't think I've grabbed for anything so fast in my life, the way I almost throw myself on it; I crank the handle upward, slumping against the wall and sliding down into a wet sit on the shower floor with Derpy, both of us bracing, teeth chattering, as we suffer the long wait for the temperature change.

And it hits. We both groan, warmth sweeping down over us instead of biting cold. Neither of us speak for a long moment, just soaking in the warm water. A low, content groan escapes the pair of us.

Eventually, teeth no longer chattering, I push off the wall, slipping around and laying on the shower floor beside her, head held up by my hand. Our faces are pretty close, and she stares up at my face from her awkward angle.

Still stuck.

"Still stuck?" I whisper.

"...Still stuck." She whispers.

"Hurts?"

"Not really. Just... cramped, and tipped over. Can't get up... tired."

Derpy stares at me expectantly. She huffs as she watches the smile grow on my face.

"So. You'd thought about what our first time showering together, huh?" I grin.

"...If I admit, once or twice, will you help me up?" She returns, still staring at me. No shy glance-away this time.

With a grunt, I shift into a sit; my clothes are soaked, but I don't really care. It's just water. Not frigid anymore, either. I could sit in here for a while. Though I'll probably be out in the room in my underwear for a bit, drying off, once I've got her back up.

"Do I need to watch for the wings?" I ask, glancing her over. Her gaze slowly shifts as I look her over, glancing away as she's inspected.

"Just roll me, please." She instructs simply.

Quietly and slowly, Derpy walks me through getting her back up. I'm mostly just worried about the wing she's laying on, but she lets me know if it starts to hurt, making a pretty cute noise in warning. Hands carefully tucked under her, we bobble her back onto her hooves.

She doesn't stay on them for long, sitting back on her haunches, sighing in relief. Her wings finally furl in, but don't close against her body, loosely hanging outward, drooping.

"Alright. Enjoy your shower. I'll get--" I go to start, lifting myself off the shower floor. A hoof presses against the back of my hand, Derpy watching me.

"The, uh... I need..." She purses her lips.

"Forget something out there?" I ask, pausing, settling back into my side-lay.

"...Would it be weird if I asked you to wash me? Is that too much?" She asks timidly, watching my face for a reaction.

"Not really. Cramps that bad?" I say with a shrug.

"I normally use my wings to help myself, but... I can barely move them. It hurts to, actually. I definitely overdid it." She sighs. "If it's too much, you don't have to; I can figure something out."

"Like I'm gonna say no after you ask me to help you. You mind if I get out of these soaked clothes though? Not the most fun." I snort, shifting up into a sit.

"...Why would I mind? Is this one of those personal things, for humans?" She tilts her head at me, confused; watching as I start to undress. "Did you tell me before?"

"Well, Humans have a social taboo about being naked, since we don't have fur or sheaths or anything like that. Usually, it's only acceptable if you're alone, with trusted individuals, or doing something that requires less clothes, like swimming." I start to explain, working my wet shirt up and over my head. I wring it out, tossing it outside the shower.

"Oh!" I hear her hum, genuinely curious as she listens.

"Oh." I then hear, as she processes, looking down over my chest. She's staring.

"Wasn't the last time you saw me without clothes also the first time we met?" I ask, shifting into a side-lay again to unbuckle my pants. The boxers were gonna stay on, more for myself honestly. Situation aside, awkwardly big step for us. Maybe more me than her.

"When we first met? I think so... you were in your... boxers, you called them? Wait, was me barging in like that really bad, since you were dressed like that? It's not bad that I saw you like that, or that I'm about to see you in them, is it?" She asks, a tinge of worry creeping in.

Ever since I learned that privacy wasn't much of a thing in this world, I stopped walking around my house half-naked. Felt like the smart choice.

"Yes, No, and No. Yes, they're called boxers. No, not really to what you bombed my window into. Lack of clothes is also a comfort thing; I was just relaxing at home, nothing terrible. And final no -- well, to other humans maybe, but we long moved past that." I explain, while she's watching my hands. "Closest step a Human can be to being naked, without being naked, is underwear. Which is an embarrassing, comforting or very intimate thing, depending on the mood or situation." I explain; belt unbuckles, and I'm sliding my pants legs down.

"Oh, same ones. Do you only have the one?" Derpy hums, noticing my underwear. Were they? Look at that; they were. Right, she's got good memory.

"Now why do you remember that?" I ask, coy.

Derpy glances away. "...No Ponies wear things like that?" She offers, a little sheepish smile forming. Smooth. I'll let her have it.

"No, Humans like to keep a few of most clothing items, rotating them." I explain. "I've got a few pairs."

"...Huh. Ponies only wear clothes for status, events, work, and... other stuff." She says, words slowing as her eyes wander back to my body. "Why is watching you undress...?"

"Oddly intimate? Oh, because it is." I nod.

The pants take a longer second to ring out, but after a few squeezes, I toss them across the bathroom with the shirt -- landing with a wet shlap. Sounds like I didn't ring it out enough. Woops. Well, anyway.

"For Humans in relationships, its the last step before -- or several even consider it to be, the first step to, intimate relations." I continue to explain, a cheeky smile sat on my face as I lay on my side, nearly fully exposed to her.

She must have warmed right up, with that brilliant blush that seeps across her cheeks.
"I-I wasn't asking you in here to--" She starts to stutter, but falls quiet as I laugh, clueing in, tsk'ing at me.

"I know. Just having fun messing with you, Derpy. Humans are very social creatures; we understand nuance. Just here to help my Marefriend." I reassure.

"...So you're not going to...take... those... oh!" She mutters, her questions shifting to a quiet statement of surprise. I follow her gaze, finding her nose pointed towards my boxers, which are soaked and stuck to my body. Woops.

I realize that with them being wet, they hide very little; they're stuck to my body, accentuating what it's covering rather than hiding it, basically giving Derpy a pretty good view of Anon Jr. I realize a little too late that I should've kept the pants on.

"...You said you didn't have a... sheath? I can... see that." She whispers. "So... odd."

"Oops." I shift, covering myself with my thigh, obscuring her view. "Yeah, no, uh... sheath."

Small, awkward silence ensues. Her gaze doesn't really seem intent on looking anywhere else.

"So, uh... do you want to like, spin around and I'll start on your fur? Or however you Ponies clean up." I offer, trying to move on. I'm trying to dance these situations with some care, but I have no idea what flies and doesn't. Derpy is, thankfully, very understanding.

"...Can I see you?" I hear her softly mutter.

...And very interested, apparently.

Not quite what I expected, but there's probably more to that then asking to see my dick.
"What do you mean?"

"I... you know my vision isn't the best. And, I have seen you; but I..." She continues, trying to find the right words. I think I get it. She's not blind, but she probably has a difficult time focusing on things like smaller details, and tends to just roll past. She wants to know me. My little details. That's... kind of really sweet.

"You want to be able to look me over at your own pace?" I offer. She nods quickly.

"I... do you mind? If I? Look, you...? Sorry, it's hard for me to find the right words for this."

"Then forget the words. Need me to come closer?"

"You don't mind?"

"Letting you poke me over with your hooves, ogle me a bit? I think I can live with that. Might even be flattered, honestly. Go for it." I grunt, using my arm to scoot myself closer across shower floor; I don't have to go very far, but I get she's trying to participate while being dead-tired. I can accommodate.

I roll onto my back, side of my torso touching her back hooves, supporting my head with arms, eyes closed. Soaking in the warm water. Not really... covering myself, anymore. It's not exposed, but... I think this is one of those situations where I just let Derpy lead.

I don't think I'd be uncomfortable with any which way this whole situation could play out, so...

Can't really watch her unless I want to hold an arm over my head, or catch water in the eyes, so I guess this is one of those feel-only experiences. Her back-hooves, sat on her haunches, softly poke further into my side as she stays close.

Then, I feel one of her front hooves lightly press against my stomach. It stays still, for a long moment, before it begins tracing along my side. I can kind of tell how closely she's looking; the water stops falling on the part of me that her head is blocking, giving me a vague hint.

"...Anon, can I ask you something?" I hear her say, quiet beneath the water.

"Mmhm." I nod softly.

Her hoof traces up my stomach, pausing by my belly button. It then shifts upward, slowly to rest on the center of my chest, just over my heart.

"What do you... want, out of this? Out of us?" She says, tone still quiet.

I feel the water stop trickling on my face; I dare to crack an eye open, and I see she's got her wing draped over my head, blocking the droplets. She winces a little, but holds steady.

She looks... sad. Post-flight clarity is a funny term that comes to mind, but doesn't really help me out.

"What do you mean? You asking if I want a hoofjob, or do you mean on a grander scale?" I tease; the way her lips press together, I think hoofjobs are an actual thing. Oops. Thought I was being funny with wordplay only. "Sorry. Trying to keep the mood light."

"It's okay. I... meant us. You were bold, in the Cafe. I liked it. But... you know that I can't give you a... standard relationship. I'm not a young Mare looking for her first love, wanting to flirt around, and eventually marry. I'm... Dinky, is my everything. Anything else would have to come after that, and I... don't have much left to give, after her, Anon. I can't give you what another Mare can." She explains softly. Sadly. Her hoof still slowly circles over my each side of my chest, and I see her lean closer, trying to familiarize herself with me.

Her words, and her actions, and complete opposites. She worries about being enough for me, while she's got her hooves all over me.

"I didn't show an interest in you for what you can't give me, Derpy. You're... wonderful. Hoof to feather to snout to freckle, mane to tail, you're an amazing Mare; and Dinky is just an absolute delight, and that's because of you." I start to explain, just... staring at that wet face, damp, freckled fur and all.

Her hoof traces over my collarbone, idly sliding along my neck.

"It doesn't bother you, that I have Dinky?" She asks.

"Not in the slightest. Kid brightens my day. I'd be a sad, lonely little man sitting on a hill if she didn't help nudge us together." I respond, without a missed beat. "I know you've got a lot going on. That your situation is different. I don't mind any of it, truly. What I want, is... I don't know, honestly."

She pauses, looking to my face.

Her hoof slowly traces up to my cheek, the same way I tend to stroke hers so often, hovering just below my exposed teeth. No thumbs, though, but I appreciate the effort. She's waiting for my to continue, with baited breath. I think she wants... this, but she's trying to give me every chance to back out. Fat chance, fat flank.

"I... want, you? It's hard to explain it more than that. I don't have a... set plan for us, for how our relationship is supposed to pan out, or where we should be in five years. You have a daughter whose your priority -- I'm an alien that lives on a hill. I just want... us. Something... more than casual, for sure; I'm not here for something... short term. You, and Dinky deserve better then that. Committed, but not... restrictive? I want you to be mine, and I yours, I know that much. But... in a way that doesn't make you uncomfortable. I want you to keep focused on Dinky... and I would love if you'd give me, the chance to... be there for her, with you? Is that weird? I'm just speaking off the heart here, and I don't do this kind of thing... ever. Smack me if I'm being weird."

I squint, waiting for a little smack. Or maybe a big smack. I really don't know feelings like this; I'm the guy who sits in the woods for hours carving sticks.

Instead, I find Derpy's face right close to mine, both of us now under her wing. Without the water falling on me, I can feel the heat of her breath, her face inches from mine.

"...Say that part again?" She asks softly. The sadness that had been tugging at her face is gone.

"...I kind of rambled, there. Specifics?"

"That little bit, just after commitment."

"That I... want you to be mine?"

"...And the other part?"

"And me, yours?"

A haughty huff -- that I take as approval -- escapes her, Derpy's nose pressing against mine. I feel her hoof cup my jaw, and her mouth slides across to my exposed teeth, kissing them softly.

Oh, boy.

She stares into my eyes (probably), before planting another, smaller kiss on my lips.

"I would like that, Anon." She whispers, before sitting up, gaze falling back to my body.

Her hoof traces its way back down, my neck, my chest, running over the contours and details of my body until it reaches my stomach. She pauses. She's staring at...

Oop, lower bodily reaction. Like it wouldn't after something like that.

"...Is it really just out like that, all day? You wear clothes because of it?" She asks. Yeah, she's staring at it.

"Yeah. Sorry." I purse my lips.

"Don't be; you have nothing to be sorry for." She re-affirms surprisingly quickly. "Are you still willing to help me wash?" She now asks, turning her gaze to my face. I notice just how... long, it takes, like she detours on every part of my exposed body.

"Of course. You'll have to walk me through it, though."

She nods, pulling her wing back; I squint as shower droplets meet my face again.

"I..." She mumbles, pursing her lips.

"Mm?" I grunt, wiping the water from my face, slicking my hair back. I push into a sit-up, leaning against my arms in a half-recline. She looks hung up on something. Excited, but... cautious.

"You know, obviously... but Dinky's father isn't in the picture. I haven't explained it, yet, but... I've been burned before. I can't... if it happens again, and I'm not saying you would, but --" She starts, staring at the shower floor. I know she doesn't mean it ill towards me; she's scared of being hurt again. Who wouldn't be?

I shift to lean on my knee, tenderly gripping her shoulder with a hand.
"My priority, in this relationship, is that you and Dinky are comfortable. Happy. I don't want to tie you into a situation where you don't have full control, or where you can't be self reliant." I assure her, smiling softly.

She suddenly shuffles closer, water splashing, leaning against me, head pressed against my chest. I slowly wrap my arm around her, holding her close.

"I don't mean to accuse you, or anything... I'm just..." She mutters against me. "I'm worried, a lot of the time. I have to be. I... re-tread topics, a lot."

"I know. I get it. Do that as much as you need; I understand." I assure her.

We stay there, silent for some time. Thank God, or Celestia, or the plumber, that this shower had some plentiful hot water. I had no idea how long we've been in here for, between our conversations and quiet bouts.

"How about we get you washed-up?" I whisper softly. She nods, lifting off me slightly; but she looks to my face. There's an odd resolution in her expression.

"...Can I make a... forward request?" She whispers back.

"Go for it." I nod.

"Instead of asking you to wash me... can I ask you to shower with me?"

"Think I already am, at this point. Well, almost. Humans shower naked." I inform, politely.

"...Okay." She nods.

"That means the boxers come off." I warn her softly.

"Okay." She nods again.

"You sure you don't want me to just wash you?" I triple-check, because today has been a lot and I need absolutes.

"...Can I be the one to take them off?" Derpy asks, placing her hoof against my chest. It's already trailing lower, towards my waistband.

"...Okay." I nod.

My fingers softly rake through her wet fur, lathering the soap. She's sat between my parted legs, quite close, facing me. She doesn't look down, though. She's watching my face as I work her over, and she seems like she's in bliss. Derpy is... really, fucking soft, even when wet.

"This is... you called them fingers?" She whispers softly. A soft kiss, pressed to my cheek. It seemed like we were going to keep exchanging attention, then.

"Yep. Very useful." I nod, leaning into the peck. I liked how affectionate Derpy was. The whole teeth thing definitely hit me harder than I expected...

"I can... tell." She hums, arching her back as I make a zig-zag drag if my nails down her back fur, ending at the top of her flank. "Celestia above, this is lovely."

"Could make it the norm." I offer, cheekily.

"And how would we do that?" She plays along, twisting as I work up her left side. I pause to lather in a little more soap.

"Maybe I come over extra-early on Sunday, and we sneak into the shower together." I shrug; the idea gets a smile out of Derpy.

"Have you over even earlier...?" She bites her lip. Jesus Christ, that hits. "Good luck getting me up early on my day off."

"I can think of a way or two. Involves fur, fingers; shower optional." I hum back, curious just how far this conversation can go.

"...You're quite the flirt, Anon. Always so forward." She warns playfully. She twists the other way, as I work down her right side.

"You're quite the tease, yourself." I return; her eyes snap open, and she stares right at me.

"Am I, really?" She whispers, lips hovering inches from mine.

"Terribly so, I'm afraid." I whisper back.

She makes a small, noteworthy 'Mm' of acknowledgement, before leaning forward and pressing her lips to mine. Hard. Her tongue slips into my mouth, bumping into mine; I'm startled by how suddenly forward she is, and can barely react before she pulls away. A long string of saliva draws between our lips, which gets wiped away as she hides her mouth behind a hoof.

"You're the one who essentially asked to take me on a Cafe table, in public, in front of my only Daughter, Mister Muss. I don't think you get to make any accusations." She coos.

Oh, she does not play fair.
"Point taken." I nod.

"My face, too, please." She adds, a tinge of sing-song to her voice; she closes her eyes, sticks her face forward, waiting for me to scrub her up.

I particularly enjoy the startled noise she makes when I instead grab her face, and kiss her back in turn. Then, while we kiss, my thumbs slowly lather her cheeks, working up under her eyes, and across her snout; that noise slowly turns into an elongated, throaty purr.

My hands slowly coast her wet fur, up behind her ears, scrubbing in deep -- she particularly seems to enjoy ear-touching, wriggling in place.

My hands recede, and I slowly pull away from the kiss. Derpy, however, doesn't let me break it -- her own face trailing after mine, our lips barely coming apart as she pushes her face into mine again.

"Your--mm--Mane." I try to word out, between her plush-lipped assaults. She finally gives, pulling back.

"...Okay." She huffs, staring at me. She's giving me one hell of a saucy glare.

Hands washed of soap, I rummage through the -- honestly, completely overpacked -- shampoos, bodywashes, conditioners and so on. Under Derpy's direction, she picks out the one she'd most like to try. Pomegranate scent. Huh. I give the bottle a quick sniff; oh, that's pleasant.

My hands are working through her mane, slowly dragging along her neck, and her scalp, working it in. She is, again, deeply enjoying this.

This is why I avoided applying to the Spa, initially. I had this dark, inner feeling that opposable thumbs and fingers were more dangerous than they seemed, and Derpy was proving my guess right. Though for her, she was probably the luckiest mare this side of Equestria right now. This would be weird to do for random ponies.

I scrub into her bangs, before letting the water rinse it all away.

Oh, she's giving me a look. It's not a terribly saucy one, but that's the look she gives me when she's got something... different on the mind.

"...My tail, too?" She whispers.

Originally, that would've been an instant yeah-sure-okay. This shower, however, did NOT keep the original tone of her first request. I think I just got a twinge of butterflies, if her tone is implying what I think she's implying.

When did I get nervous? It's just her tail. I nod.
"Of course. How do you want to...?"

Derpy pushes up off her haunches, back onto all fours; after all the physical attention, she's a little more spry. Derpy stares at my face, turning around.

Oh, that's why I'm nervous.

She's watching at me over her shoulder, face half-hidden behind a loosely draped wing. Flank in my face, her wet, tucked tail covering her...

Ahem.

She catches me staring, wide eyed -- for a moment, I can see her toying stare flicker with panic, suddenly worried she's overstepped or over assumed.

"I-I wasn't being too forward, was I? Oh, buck -- I shouldn't have -- I'm sorr--"
She starts to stutter, back legs tensing, padding in place.

God, she's fucking adorable, flitting between confident and worried. It helps stem my own nerves, honestly.

My hands firmly grasp each side if her flank, which promptly quiets her. I'm astounded I'm still alive, the feeling that hit me when I watched my fingers sink into her butt-flesh. Her Cutie-Mark doesn't feel any different than the rest of her fur; that was a longstanding question I just got the answer to.

I knew she was on the heavier-rear-ended side of Ponies, but for a Pegasus? This was almost on the heftier side of Earth-Pony ass. I can feel the muscle underneath her plusher layers; she works hard to keep this kind of weight moving at those kinds of speed.

"I think... you're worrying too much, Bubblebutt." I grin; giving her a small squeeze, once for 'bubble', and once for 'butt'.

I get a wet, soggy tail-flick-slap in my face for it.
"Told you to stop calling me that." She mutters; though I think it's still playful, just recovering.

"I mean it in the nicest way possible, of course. Did you know humans are obsessed with butts? Our wisest philosophers would argue in its favor for hours, throughout history." I joke, trying to ease her worries. She's trying to match how playful I am -- but I can tell we're both operating under some nerves here. I think this is new, for both of us, despite our own experiences.

"That explains why you stare at mine all the time. I was going to ask you about it, eventually, but I was... enjoying the attention." She teases back, that bit of confidence seeping back into her words.

"And what about this kind of attention?" I follow up, starting to knead into her flank. I don't even have soap yet, just working through the wet fur, handfuls of rear.

"...I think I could see us doing something like this again. Maybe. But you forgot soap; and I asked you for my tail. Not my rear." She tries to remind.

"Well I can't just ignore such an... ample part of you." I assure her.

I continue kneading, squeezing, digging my fingers in.

"...Any minute now." She huffs. "If you're going to do this, do it with soap. Not that it's... not nice, but this might lead to a different kind of night; and this trip is supposed to be about Dinky." Derpy warns. Still playful -- but a little more stern. Boundary set. I respect it.

I grin nonetheless, ever the victim of her flirting; finally letting go as I reach for the washing products. Deciding I'm mentally capable of two tasks, I get soap for her tail in one hand, and soap for her fur in the other.

My right hand goes back to a tentative kneading, working properly over her entire flank this time, while my left combs my fingers through her tail. I am, as respectfully as I can, trying not to look; glancing away to the tiles of the shower wall as I work. It's still remarkable just how soft she is, even when her fur is damp.

My right hand works down her leg, carefully getting into each muscular crevice, thumb tracing her joints. Left hand focuses on the base of the tail -- I think it's called the dock? -- before I give her a little scratch just above her tail. Her entire flank twitches.

"C-careful." I hear her mutter.

"Hm?" I hum, leaning to look around her, at her face.

"...Can you scratch a little higher?" She asks, still watching from behind her wing.

"Course." I nod, trailing my fingers to the top of her rump, and generally scratching through the area. Derpy's hips keep twitching, a low sigh escaping her.

"...I need to start asking you to get all my itches." She hums.

"Ask and you shall receive." I smile, patting her on the flank, the water already washing out the soap I lathered. "All done."

She shuffles in place again, turning to face me. With me sat, and her on all fours -- like her rump -- she's face to face with me, now.

She just... stares at me, for a quiet moment. I smile at her. She steps closer, nuzzling my cheek with her own; thankfully not my injured cheek, or I'd have fur in my teeth.

"Thank you." She whispers. "I, uh... don't think I can get you in turn, right now." She smiles weakly. Little more spry, but still sore, if her drooping wings are anything to go by. She seems a little sad about it, actually.

"That's alright, I can get myself; but if there's any part of me you think I've missed, we'll... I wouldn't mind if you pointed it out." I wink, reaching for the soap.

That seems to perk her right up, her gaze slowly working me over again; it's sweet, how interested in my body she is. I can already feel her hoof tracing my torso again.