Last Stop on the Mail Route

I may be... abstaining, from getting a mailbox just yet. For obvious reasons.

I may have purchased a cushion from Rarity, fibbing slightly about why I wanted one. Couch looks a little nicer with it, actually.

I am definitely not used to being visited by Dinky every day. I'm not even on my porch most times, this kid just straight up knocks on my door.

It's been a few days since Bell picked up her gift. Dinky comes by every time school is out. Either with one of the Crusaders, the whole bunch, or just by herself. I don't think the filly has much to... do, after school. Apparently, while there's not a crazy amount of mail for Ponyville, there's very few employees for the Post Office.

Sat on the couch, deeply comfortable, I had gotten as much coffee out of the pages as I could from Derpys' last visit, but I was holding off on bringing this one back to Twilight. For a while. I'll probably just eat the blame. This section was about Cockatrices. With every page, my grand idea of romping the Everfree was dwindling, as were the remaining bits from Sunbutts loan. Still trying to figure out a line of work.

"And your mom is... cool, with you coming over like this?" I ask, glancing up from my book about the Everfree.

Dinky, sat beside me on the couch, homework spread out on my coffee table, nods enthusiastically.
"Nope!" She squeaks, smiling wide.

I blink a few times, rubbing my temple. She picks up on my, obvious and unneeded confusion, and explains.

"Mom was like, super happy to hear you like her too! I asked if I could keep visiting you after school, but she doesn't want me to be a burden or upset you! Well, she said that after she stopped blushing--"

I cough, choking on my coffee.

"Careful! Anyway--" Dinky continues, unabated. "Since she doesn't want me coming over and being a burden, I'll just visit and NOT be a burden! Smart, right?" She grins, looking at me expectantly.

I finish clearing the wrong pipe of coffee, and wipe my face on my sleeve. I lean back, staring at this kid.

Honestly, had to respect it. Bit of a weird situation, but... I'll ask Twilight about it later.

"...Yeah, you're alright. Let your mom know it's fine, though I won't be home every time." I relent. I'll admit, it was kind of nice to have a visitor. Even if I did almost try to serve her coffee when she came over.

Dinky beams, nodding. But then, the smile fades slightly, and she tilts her head.
"Why wouldn't you be here?"

"I've got to get a job, pick up some work. Woodcarving isn't the lucrative business you might expect." I respond, sipping and flipping the page of my book. Manticore? Jesus.

Dinky seems to deflate a little at the word 'work', looking down to her pages and growing silent.
"...Like mom?" She asks, quietly. Oh, fuck, kid meant like if I'd be gone as long as her mom.

Shit, man, I wasn't expecting to have to juggle getting a job around disappointing a kid.

"Uh..." I mumble, taking a chance to glance down at her.

Oh, fucking mistake. She's hitting me with the big, wobbling, tearing-up eyes. I swear, she knows what she's doing.

Resist. This isn't even your kid.

...

A long groan escapes me as my head lolls back, resting against the couch.

...If I did Everfree runs, I could probably make above-average pay for a fraction of the days work. You know, only at risk to my life and shit. And that's if I can find ponies to sell it to, otherwise I'm just supporting myself. Which, I've done, but still...

I try to resist taking another glance--but, I peek out of the corner of my eye.

Her lip is trembling. My resolve shatters. Fuck these things for being so cute.

I drop my book on the table, slapping my knee. Dinky startles, looking at me with surprise. I groan, shaking my head.

"...No, I've... got some work lined up that'll only take a few hours. Otherwise, I'll be here. Or around."

Dinky's face practically explodes in a smile, and she wraps herself around my midsection, hugging me tight.
"Mom was right. You really give the best hugs."

There's no fucking way this kid doesn't know what she's doing. No kid is this fucking sweet.

I'm standing at the edge of the Everfree, wearing my full kit. For my safety, for the first couple of runs, I've got my gun slung over my shoulder. I want to try to avoid using it, but with half the shit I read about, I want to get comfortable first.

Zecora helped me map out some general 'no-go' areas, based on local populations. Poison joke areas, nests for things I do not want to run into, the like. She was even kind enough to mark in the book (permanently, sorry Twilight--at this point I'm just going to buy the damn thing) which plants the Ponies might like the most. Medicinal and recreational ones, for salves and teas.

The things I do because I may or may not have a small crush on a small bubble-butt pegasus whose daughter coerces me into danger with puppy-dog eyes.

I groan, shifting the sling of my pack, and start trekking into the looming woods.

~

In only a few minutes, it's already difficult to see behind me. It's only going to get worse from here.

~

...Honestly, I kind of missed this. It's not any forest I know, but if I stop paying attention (bad idea, but I'm full of those) it kind of just feels like I'm on one of my trips, back home. Some kind of bird is tweeting distantly, and the greenery here is lush. No signs of any sort of pollution, no garbage...

I could get used to this.

~

Surprisingly, it didn't backfire. One hitch, which went quite well. Could have gone fucking terribly, but went quite well.

Leg got stuck in a root, nearly whacked my head on a rock. Looks like I got rusty.

I'm home now, leg is sore, backpack slumped open on my coffee table as I pick through my findings, sorting them and double-checking their page in the book. Place is abundant with the shit, since the Ponies avoid that place like the plague. Should be good pickings for the future.

Now, how do I sell these?

I sip the coffee I got from Sugarcube Corner, sat at one of its tables. Half eaten donut on my plate.

Pinkie was nice when I went inside. Reeled it in a little bit, for me. She tries to avoid startling me, which I appreciate, but I'm not sure why she does that.

Another hitch. Bigger one this time. I thought they'd all clamor for the stuff, since they can never get it. Turns out, since they never get it, they've found out how to never need it. And since I'm a shit salesman, I can't exactly sell a Pony something it doesn't need. I tried the market stalls, and I'm not about to hassle people walking around to buy my shit. I've got more self respect then that.

I take a slow sip of my coffee.

Well, I've got two more places in mind.

"And you got these from the Everfree?" Nurse Redheart asks, giving me a concerned stare. Her office was about as cozy as usual, with its white walls, white tiles, and surgical glare. I don't think this Mare knows comfort.

"Yep." I nod.

"And you aren't... hurt? Did you hit your head?" She follows up, frowning.

"If you're going to insinuate that I'd need brain damage to try and harvest the Everfree, I'm going to remind you of a striped denizen that lives inside of it. Just so you don't sound racist." I return, giving a little finger-waggle.

Redheart frowns.
"Big difference between someone whose lived there for a long while, and someone who read a book and started hiking it, Mister Muss. And if I was racist-- which im not --you wouldn't have stepped foot inside this clinic. Remember that." She scolds, waggling a hoof at me in turn.

"...From what I heard, stripes get it worse around here than bipeds." I mutter.

Redheart sighs, and is about to say something... but seems to recall that only one of the two actually live inside the town.
"Moving on." She huffs, adjusting her seating and clearing her throat. "You brought these here... why?"

I pull up the book, holding it open and tapping at its associated page. "Medical herb, according to Zecora. Tried selling at the Marketplace, but--"

"Got treated like a snake-oil salesman?" Redheart assumes. She assumes correctly.

I nod, lowering the book.

She sighs, taking a moment to contemplate. Eventually, she leans, opening a drawer, and pulling a few bits.
"The Clinic will take them, but I can't promise that we'll take them next time. I would recommend--"

My hands go up.
"Nope. Keep 'em. Both."
I stand, slinging my bag. Redheart looks up at me, confused.

"...Anon, what are you--"
"I'm not taking pity Bits. I'm sure you've got your own supply chain from wherever you order your supplies from. I appreciate the heads-up that this line of work isn't gonna pan out." I sigh, but wave in thanks, turning to leave.

"Anon! They aren't pity Bits, I'm telling you--"

"Stop."

We both pause as I state it firmly, holding my hand up.
"It's appreciated, honestly. But I can't take those. I've still got a few ideas. See you next visit, Reddy."
I turn, and leave.

Behind me, I can hear Nurse Redheart sigh.

I'm back at Sugarcube Corner. Second Coffee, second donut. Pinkie didn't charge me this time. I think she just... knows things. Probably a magic thing. That, or I don't hide my mood on my face as well as I think i do.

There's just something about pity. About not being able to handle myself, or work it out myself. Irks me, eats at me. I can take people thinking lesser of me, disliking me. But pitying me? Oh, that shit bothers me. I know she means well. Just...

Ugh.

I sip loudly, getting a glare from one of the other patrons. Some mottled shit-brown and red stallion-guy. Do something about it, asshole.

He goes back to his newspaper, muttering.

I sip loudly, triumphant. My mood is better. I know its dumb. But I enjoy the pettiness.

Alright, last stop.

The Library door opens, Twilight blinking and rubbing her eye from the sunlight. The bags under her eyes have bags.

"Fuck, when's the last time you slept?" I mutter, leaning to get a better look at her.

"...Fifteen minutes ago." She mumbles.

"Before that?"

"...Four days."

I groan, shooing her back inside as I step in after her. Yeah, I'm not gonna try and sell her 'Research Plants' when she's going to fall asleep standing up--

I pause as I close the door, watching her. She'd moved to the side to make room for me, but her eyes are have closed. She wobbles slightly to each side, balancing herself.

And snores. She fell asleep standing up.

~

I shut the door to her room carefully, leaving the tucked-in Twilight to catch up on the sleep she needed. I'll ask what the fuck had her up for four days straight later.

As I'm heading downstairs, I bump into Spike. He's laid on the floor, a few comic books spread out around him. He looks up at me, giving a short wave.

"Hey." I nod, about to go down the steps to the next floor. I pause. I look back.

He's got a bowl of gems beside himself. He picks one up, licks it, then bites an entire chunk out of it. I squint.

"...Hey, Spike." I speak up, taking a few steps back up so I'm on the same floor again.

"Ogh--mfhp, yeah?" Spike mumbles, chewing -- very crunchy -- and swallowing. "What's up?"

"Are those worth Bits?" I ask, pointing a finger at his meal.

"Uh... a few, yeah? They're pretty plentiful." He answers, tilting his head while his little feet kick. "Why?"

I scratch my chin, trying to think. "...Where do you get them?"

Spike changes which elbow he's leaning on, his tail flicking.
"The Mountains! I usually dig for them, with Rarity. Ponyville doesn't have any gem sellers. Or any need for gems, really, but I'm not allowed to go alone."

"Dangerous?"

He nods.
"Not as bad as the Everfree, but there's Diamond Dogs that prowl the cliffs. They're territorial about Gems."

That's a new one.
"Fuck are th--sorry. Wait, no I'm not. Fuck are those?" Twilight doesn't like me swearing in front of Spike. However, 'Fuck' doesn't exist in their swears vocabulary. 'Buck' kind of does, but not really--it's weird. But, means I get to say fuck and nobody cares. Just a weird human word.

Spike rolls his eyes. He knows exactly what's up, and says nothing about it. Good lad.
"Tiny legs, huge arms. Can be as big as me, to as big as Celestia, even bigger! They dig for Gems, kidnap ponies, steal from Caravans. Bad bunch."

"Got a book on them?"

"You return the other ones yet?"

My lips purse. I nod slowly, turning to leave. He chuckles.

"Thanks Spike. Oh, I'm gonna leave some plants I found on the table. Get Twi to take a look at them when she wakes up."

He throws me a thumbs up, and goes back to reading.

I've got the start to a beautiful -- and terrible -- idea.