JUN 13 Saturday.

I stand up from my desk and start sorting the pile of papers, this pile of papers is the final report I'll be making on the B.L.P spell. That's right, after a little less than seven months I'm finally done with the spell.

With all the extra free time from practicing with space magic, I was able to finish the spell faster than I expected. I even had enough time to work out a few other problems and streamline the spell a decent amount. I probably could improve it further but that would take more time than it's worth.

Beyond the B.L.P spell, I've also finished the Slow Fall spell and realized it could be useful for other things. I can use it to keep myself safe and other ponies could do the same, but I realized the spell might be too good. The spell has so many potential uses that it could end up changing too much.

Unlike a lot of the other spells I've released this spell has a very wide range of applications. From construction to cleaning, and every other type of work that requires being high up. All ponies working these jobs could use a better way to keep themselves safe from high falls.

And that leaves me in a bit of a bind, on one hoof I want to keep ponies safe and make Equestria better, but on the other hoof I'm afraid this spell could cause too much of an impact. So after a few days of thought, I decided to pick an in-between option, I thought this might make me feel a little better about not releasing the full spell. So I handicapped the spell and will release that to help others.

I've modified the spell to only work as an enchantment, and I've vastly weakened the effect. I plan to give it to Celestia as a way to keep young pegasi safe when they start learning how to fly. The spell's now only strong enough to lift young ponies and it won't work for adults.

But I still don't feel the best about this, lessening one of my creations is just something I don't enjoy. Thinking about all the ponies the original spell could help makes me hesitate, can I really do this? In a way I'd be endangering ponies through my inaction, but if that can save more lives down the line by the full spell not being known, is it worth it?

This spell could save many lives, but those lives will change the world even more. Then again all my inventions also do just that, keeping many ponies alive who might otherwise be dead. Honestly, these thoughts are not only about this specific spell and also just about the things I've been making in general.

If I affect the timeline too much it could kill far more ponies than I'd ever save with this spell. But is that really a choice I have the right to make? As I'm compiling the papers my mind keeps treading over the same ground, again and again I think in circles.

I know I've most likely changed a lot already, but it's starting to dawn on me just how much of the future I've probably changed so far. And making me wonder if I should keep changing things more, I'm getting stuck in the worry over what could be.

I gather all the things I'll need and take only the lesser Slow Fall spell with me, deciding to leave the original be for now, Entropy melds into my shadow and we leave my apartment. Today I'm once again meeting Celestia, maybe I should ask her about this? Not the full truth as to why I'm feeling this way, but at least something similar to get her perspective.

I've come to value her knowledge and experience, and it's nice just having somepony look over what I'm doing from time to time. I go through the same song and dance with the guards again, and I end up in the gardens again. This is a different spot that doesn't overlook the gardens and is more secluded.

I don't bow to her and just walk over, and for a second I see her face shift to something more comforting. I'm confused and let it show on my face, and then I remember that the only other time I didn't bow to her I was in a bad place. I quickly try to correct my fuck up. "I'm fine, I just felt like I didn't need to bow anymore."

I see her face shift again, she visibly relaxes and smiles. "Good, I rather you not have that ever happen again. On the same topic, have you been well?" Her tone has a little relief and plenty of kindness.

"I'm doing well enough but before we talk about that, Entropy," I call Entropy from my shadow, she emerges and looks at me expectantly. I nod at her, and a moment later she's gone is a flourish of shadowy wisps. While she's gone I take out a small bag from my saddlebags, this bag has some fish and berries for Entropy when she returns.

A minute later Entropy returns with what I wanted her to bring. Over the past two weeks, I've been thinking about what to give to Celestia and decided on something interesting to look at, but not too hard to make. Over the span of a few days, I've been carefully growing two plants for her.

I started with what I've come to call Full Moon Glow, this is a strain of Moon Glow plant that has both glowing flowers and leaves. I grew the Full Moon Glow in the center of a foot-wide pot. Next, I took the strain of improved Solar Vine that can gather, hold, and release more solar magic.

I kept the Full Moon Glow relatively small and grew the Solar Vine into a criss cross lattice on the floor of the pot's soil and over the edge of the pot to partly cover the sides. I also left a circular area around the base that's clear, so the Full Moon Glow has proper room.

The last thing I added was two small gems, a ruby, and a sapphire. They keep two environmental spells around both plants, letting them have an optimal environment to live in. The environment spell for the Full Moon Glow also blocks the Solar Vine from growing through it, giving the plant roots space and keeping the small inner area clear.

All of this creates an odd plant terrarium, a plant for the day, and one for the night. When Celestia starts looking over the plants I see her face light up. I pass over a packet that has instructions and information on how to take care of both plants and some spare seeds, and also what the enchantments do.

She takes it from me and reads through it for a few moments. "I hope you like it, I thought it'd be a nice gift," I say with a little hope.

I get a large smile and a look of excitement in return, "It's amazing, I've never seen anything like it. Thank you, Shade." I can hear the excitement in her voice as she moves the pot over to her and starts looking through the plants in more detail. It's nice to see her so happy.

"It seems your abilities with plant magic have definitely improved." She compliments while moving the pot around a few times and looking over the plants and their respective glows. Both have enough magic to glow for a while and should be able to live for a long time.

"I'm glad you like it. That packet also has seeds for both plants, just in case they end up dying. But that's not all I have for you. Although, this one might just be more work for you." I pass her both the finished B.L.P spell and the new spell I made. Her smile just gets bigger as she reads through the papers.

As she reads my smile slowly grows, I don't think I've ever seen her this excited before. It's a nice feeling to know I inspired such excitement and happiness. And as she reads her excitement only grows.

At this point she's like a foal on their birthday, not hiding her excitement at all. She turns back to me, clearly very happy with how her day is going, "You never cease to amaze me, this is all very well done." She says while putting everything to the side. "Maybe I should give you a raise." She jokes lightly.

"What would I even do with more bits? I could have retired last year." I joke back. "And I'm about to get paid a good amount from one of those spells alone." I smile at her small chuckle and decide to move on to the next topic. "Any mail for me?"

"No, seems most have given up, but with two new spells being made at once, and with how you've finished the B.L.P spell half a year ahead of schedule I expect more to start coming in short order." I smile at the first piece of news but groan as she continues talking.

"Not again, well at least there is none for today, thank magic for small miracles." I try to console myself, and after that, I change the subject again to something a little less light-hearted. Showing a more calm face I say, "I have something I'd like to talk about, anything we need to go over first?" I ask bluntly while keeping my relatively relaxed tone.

"I also have something to talk about but it might take longer, so how about we start with you?" She asks with a similar calm and a happy attitude.

I'm curious but nod my agreement. I try to think of the best way to explain my thoughts before I continue, as I'm thinking in silence, I can see Celestia looking over her new plants with a smile and reading some of the things I gave her.

"I understand the things I make very well, I did make them after all. I know the good they can do, but also the bad they could cause. And that's been worrying me, I'm starting to question if I should even make some of my ideas because of what they could be used for. I guess I'm just feeling uncertain about it all" She stopped reading when I started speaking again, and by the time I was done, she was paying full attention to me.

After a moment of silence she speaks. "That's not an unreasonable concern, many have and will misuse newly made inventions. But I think you're once again forgetting something." I perk up a little at this, my ears rising slightly. "You are not alone, and others can also help. Sure many could misuse what you make, but many more will try to stop them."

I remember Celestia telling me this before, but is that really enough? I start thinking about her words, and seeing my conflicted expression she continues. "A good way to think about it is like this, what stops you from misusing the spells you make?"

I think about that for a few moments before realizing where she's going with this. "The law, I could do it but there would be consequences and I would eventually be stopped." She nods.

"Exactly, many will always misuse things. But that's why we have laws, and why new laws are made." I stay silent and think over her words further. I know she's right, but this isn't about laws. Or is it? Equestria has stood strong in the face of many disasters.

And that goes beyond just villains, many natural disasters and plagues. Through wars with neighboring countries and political mess after political mess. A lot of that does come down to Celestia, but even more of it is just ponies doing their jobs and living their lives, helping to keep their little corner of the world turning.

As I'm thinking over her words I feel tiny droplets of water start to hit me, I look up to see some light rainfall, and what looks like more rain coming soon. "Hmm, seems the weather ponies decided to add a little rain today, how about we head inside?" She asks while standing up and grabbing her things.

I nod and do the same, Entropy merges back into my shadow as we start walking out of the gardens. Not long after several guards appear and start following us. The rain starts to increase as we walk and we make it inside right before it really starts to pour down. We walk through the winding hallways of the palace, and after many turns, and a few flights of stairs we arrive at a doorway.

I follow her inside as the guards take up posts outside the room. Inside I'm a little surprised to see a large office, several filled bookshelves on one side, and a large couch on the other. And on the far wall is a large window and a large desk, it's filled with papers and nick-nacks.

And something I recognize, the magic quill I gave her is sitting on one side of her desk. It brings me a small feeling of pride when I see that she's been using it. Once I've looked around the room I refocus on Celestia. As she walks over to her desk she sets the plant I gave her right on top of it in a clear spot.

She turns it a little and smiles at its new place, before moving behind the desk and looking back to me. "Please make yourself at home." She says with the same smile. I'm a little awkward but decided to just try and relax, after looking around a bit I just jumped on the couch.

After a little silence, I decided to ask something in an attempt to make myself a little more comfortable. "Why a couch?" It's not the best question, but I am curious about it.

She turns from placing the papers I gave her in different areas. "Why not? It's comfortable and great for naps." She says with a seemingly serious tone.

I look at her for a moment trying to tell if she's messing with me or not, but I stop after a few moments, trying to read Celestia is an exercise in futility. I sink into the plush cushions of the couch and start to relax, after a few minutes Celestia walks back over to the couch and sits on the other side.

I speak first, "So you had something to talk about?" She nods and also relaxes on the couch, now that I think about it I don't think I've seen her this casual before. She's certainly been relaxed before but this is somehow different, I'm just not sure why.

"Before that, are you still feeling uncertain about your work?" I let my mind wander back to those thoughts as Celestia starts filling some teacups.

Do I? Yes, I'm still concerned. Not for the reasons she expects but I'm still not sure if I should start releasing even more impactful spells and inventions. Yes, it could help, but it could also make everything worse. I find myself falling into that same trap of trying to decide on one or the other.

As I'm thinking Entropy decides to leave my shadow and move over to Celestia, Entropy stands right in front of her on the couch and then lowers her head. She starts chirping and demanding scratches from her, and Celestia is happy to give Entropy what she wants.

After a minute or two I'm not much closer to an answer, so I decide to make that my answer. "Yes, I'm still uncertain. I think I need time to think this through, I'm not sure if that will really help, but I'm at a bit of a dead-end right now." I admit, and I think that is my best option.

She nods. "That's fine, it's always a good idea to take your time with things like this." I nod my agreement and take a cup of tea offered to me. "As for what I wanted to talk about, well, I'll start with a question. And I'd like you to be honest, do you consider me a friend?" Her voice is calm and steady with no judgment in it.

I turn to look up at her, surprised at her question. I don't answer immediately, instead, I once again go silent and think it over. I certainly respect Celestia, and I value her opinion quite a lot. I've gotten to know her personality fairly well, but not as much as my other friends. And she knows me pretty well from how much we've talked.

She's always treated me like an equal even though I'm young. She also doesn't treat me like an idiot, and I appreciate that. She's never disregarded my words and always listens to me. But I also don't know that much about her, I know a few things but not enough to really know her.

After more thought, I came to an answer. "Yes, but not a close friend. To be blunt, I don't know a lot about you." Despite her reassurances I try to be careful with my words, trying to not offend her. Celestia doesn't seem offended at all and just nods in agreement.

"It's good to know I'm considered a friend, and I also consider you a friend." I smile at that. "But you're right and that makes me somewhat of a bad friend." I think about interrupting but stop myself when she continues.

"I know a lot about you, and your life. But you know less about me and mine, and I'd like to fix that." I'm a little shocked at her words and am stunned for a moment.

After regaining my composure I answer. I smile up at her, "That sounds wonderful, and I'm happy you also consider me a friend."

She smiles back, "Then where would you like to start?"

I think about all the questions I've never asked but always wanted to. And decide on one that might be a bit much to start with, "I have one question I've wondered about for a while and I feel like I should at least ask. But it's a bit heavy to start off with, and probably a little too personal."

She waves a hoof. "That's fine, you've been very personal with me and I don't mind doing the same."

"OK, but don't answer if you don't want to." After a calming breath, I just force myself to ask. "Are you doing ok?"

She gives me an odd and confused look. "Why wouldn't I be?" She asks, confused.

"Let me phrase that differently. Are you doing ok mentally? Do you have somepony to talk to about your mental health?" I show some concern on my face trying to not hide how I feel about her potential mental state. She's lived a long time and that weighs on any mind.

She sees my concern and shows a comforting face in return. "Yes, I'm ok. And also yes, I don't see them too often but I do talk to trained ponies about my troubles, and receive professional help." She answers in a reassuring tone.

I breathed out a breath I was holding in. "Good. Sorry if that was too much at the start, but it's always bothered me a little."

"It's fine, I appreciate the concern you show for me. Although I am curious why that bothered you?" She asks back.

"You're very old, and I know what it's like to hold things in. To be honest I can't imagine living that long and still being ok." I answer bluntly.

She doesn't look too surprised and just nods. "Many think the same, every decade I have a new pony asking after my health. And that's a good thing, even I need a reminder every once in a while. What's next?" I'm not sure if she's really fully answered me, but decided to drop the subject.

"Well, another thing I've wondered is what your birthday is."

She laughs a bit at that, "That's one of the more common questions. And to be honest I'm not really sure" I raise a brow and she continues. "When I was born not many knew how to read let alone tell the date. I do know it's near mid-spring, so I've just taken June twenty-first as my birthday."

That sparks another thought in my mind. "That makes me wonder. What came first, your birthday or the Summer Sun Celebration?"

She just smiles and nods, "In a way, both are now one in the same, when I started saying when my birthday was many ponies sent me gifts, and would continue to do so over the years. And over time the festivals held on the longest day of the year merged with celebrations for me."

That's odd but makes some sense now that I think about it. "Even later most forgot that my birthday was involved, they just saw it as a day to celebrate me, Equestria, the crown, and the sun. Eventually, it all just sort of mixed together into what it is now. Keep in mind I'm leaving out a lot of things in between all of this happening."

"Ha, that's not what I expected. Also Happy birthday." She smiles and I go silent for a little while, trying to think of more questions to ask. But before I can ask her something again we are interrupted by a knock on the door. After Celestia opens it I see a mare with a clipboard and several stakes of papers walk inside.

She sees us both and bows to Celestia. "Sorry for interrupting your meeting princess, but I have those reports you wanted and your meeting was scheduled to be over a few minutes ago." Her tone is nothing but respectful and professional.

"Thank you, Miss Clover." She turns back to me. "Sorry, but we'll have to continue this next time."

I wave her off. "It's fine, have a good day Celestia, and Thank you for trying to be a good friend. I hope you enjoy your gifts."

"Shade, It's my pleasure. Have a good day, thank you again for the lovely gifts, I couldn't be happier with them." After that goodbye, I walk out of the room as Clover starts talking with Celestia. I don't listen in, it's best not to get involved with things like that. After I leave the room a guard is waiting for me and leads me outside the palace like normal.

As I walk home through the streets of Canterlot my mind thinks about what just happened. I still am uncertain about my choices, but I'm very happy I've started to get to know Celestia more, and I find myself looking forward to our next meeting. I start to whistle a tune as I walk home, while my shadow whistles along with me to the same tune.

Author's Note

Thanks for reading. :D