JUN 19 Friday.

I watch once again as I mess up another rune in the matrix, I sigh and let go of the magic watching as the matrix dissolves into nothing. Once it's gone I start again and carefully draw out the three runic circles. It's the end of the workday, and I got home only an hour ago.

I've been learning the T.P.T spell for a few weeks now and I've basically finished learning it. But I still make small mistakes occasionally when trying to draw it from memory alone, and with a spell like this I can't afford mistakes or accidents. I've also done more research into the spell while learning it.

It took me a week to find the last two runes I needed, so while searching for them and learning the spell I started looking for more information on the spell. Things like how long the spell will last, and the answer to that mainly depend on a few factors. How big is the pony it's being cast on? How much magic was used to cast the spell? Along with several other small factors.

I'll need to test how long the spell will last on me and also learn how to actually fly, but after that I should be good to go. I have no idea who I'll get to train me but it shouldn't be too hard to hire a pony, or maybe I could ask somepony I know? But who? Blaz?

My friends know I'm pretty good at runic magic, and spells in general. But they'd definitely be surprised that I learned this spell, I could just lie to make it more believable and tell them I've been working on it for longer than I truly have. I could also say I've been really focused on learning it for a few weeks now, a half lie.

Now that I'm thinking about it I could probably start showing my talent a little more around them and just in general. In the past I didn't because it would look suspicious with my background and young age, but I've aged up some and have spent a lot of time around smart ponies in a library.

I don't think I really need to hide it as much anymore, but I don't think I should show my talent for making spells anytime soon. Casting a complex spell is just a time investment, making a complex spell is much more than just time. And if I did show them my talent and this spell I could get Blaz to teach me.

It'd be a lot more fun with him than a pony I don't even know. And Celestia's words from last time are still rolling around in my head, I'm not alone. I need to hide many things about my life, but I'm not sure I need to hide this part as much anymore. I find myself going back and forth a bit before stopping my train of thought.

I try and think of a reason I shouldn't show what I'm capable of more, but don't come up with much. I decided to just focus on the spell matrix in front of me and think about it more. I finish another attempt and start looking the matrix over, I'm pretty sure it's correct.

I flip over a piece of paper I kept face down next to me, I look back at the matrix to compare it to a copy I have on the piece of paper. I double-check again, and another time just to be sure.

Once I am sure everything is correct I cast the Temporis spell and quickly note the time, before casting the spell on myself. The matrix flashes as a lot of my magic is drained and the spell starts to take effect, I brace at the odd feeling that overcomes my body.

I turn my head to see the green magic start to form out of my back quickly, a few seconds later it fully extends from my back and starts to become more detailed. They shift from rough wing shapes and start to form feathers and proper structures, then the color shifts to be the same as my coat.

It's an odd feeling as it forms and I start feeling the weight on my back, then I feel the touch of the wings on the sides of my body. It takes around thirty seconds for the larger-than-normal wings to fully form and for the magic to settle, once they are fully formed I experimentally try to move them.

I watch and feel the wings twitch a bit and fall to the floor, it's now in an apparently uncomfortable position. I slowly start flexing different muscles trying my best to control them. As you'd imagine, trying to control two new limbs isn't easy to do, so needless to say I mostly just flop my wings around.

After several minutes I only figured out how to contract the bottom half of the wings to my back using some new muscles. After that, I just try to fully fold them, but bending the wings right is hard and takes me half an hour. Once they are properly folded, at least as far as I can tell, I stand up off the floor and try to keep them folded in place as I walk around.

As I do this Entropy wakes from her nap and looks over to me walking around, only to loudly caw and fly right at me. She lands on my back a little hard and starts looking over my wings while jumping around on my back. Every time I move too much she smacks me with a wing and makes me stay still.

So I just stand still and let her inspect the wings. After a minute she stopped looking at them and started using her beak to straighten out several feathers that had moved out of their proper position while I was moving them. I watch as she does this and try my best to remember how the feathers are supposed to fit together. Once she's done with her work she jumps off of me and looks very proud of herself.

"Thank you, girl." I fed her some berries, she taught for once and that deserves a treat. After that, I start walking around while trying to keep the wings on my back folded as best I can. Keeping them stable and not moving the wrong muscles proves difficult.

I go about my normal activities while getting used to the wings and trying my best to keep them controlled. At some point I feel the same odd sensation and look back to see the wings dissolving into tiny particles of light before disappearing entirely.

I checked the time, it's been just under two hours since I cast the spell. That's not a bad amount of time considering my size and that I didn't overpower the spell, so it can probably last even longer if I did overpower the spell. I find a blank notebook and start writing down everything I've learned about the spell so far.

As I write I let my mind wander to something that keeps bothering me. I've always been concerned about what I've done to the future. And as I've thought about it I've realized more and more just how much things have changed because of me.

When I think of the large events of the show a few big things are time-based, by that I mean things like Nightmare Moon's awakening, and Discord waking up. The likelihood of me changing these events from happening at all is basically zero, the only thing I might be able to change is the outcome.

Honestly, the event I'm most concerned about is the main six coming together and forming the Elements Of Harmony, if that doesn't happen then it would change a lot. But most of the smaller things and even a lot of the villains are likely to change because of me.

And yet I still fear changing those smaller things deliberately. This world was already different from the show when I first arrived, and now it's also got me and all that I've done in it. If things are already so different why do I still hold myself back? Why not change more?

I'm trying to find the solution to this question, a solution that will put these fears of my actions to rest, that will let me live my life unimpeded and change the world around me. But I'm starting to wonder if there even is a solution like that. I'm trying to pick in-between doing little to help others in the hopes it could potentially save many lives, and doing a lot to help others while hoping it doesn't kill us all.

I stop my thoughts for a moment and just sit there, I'm tired of not being able to choose, I'm tired of thinking about this so much. So after a little while of me just staring at a wall, I do what has helped me come to a decision in the past, write everything down and think it through fully. Something about writing things out lets me take a step back and really look at what I'm thinking.

I flip several pages and start by playing out the two choices I want to pick from. I have two options, do as little as possible and do as much as possible. Let's say I do everything I can to help others right now, then things could go horribly wrong or amazingly well. And on the opposite side, let's say I do as little as possible to change the timeline from now on, then things could go horribly wrong or amazingly well.

As I write this out I realize that in the end both result in the same thing. The future has already changed so much that my foreknowledge is looking less and less useful. I can either accept that things have changed and prepare the best I can, or bury my head in the sand and hope for the best.

After writing this all out I force myself to choose one of those options instead of thinking in more circles, treading over this again won't help me, I need to make a choice. I remember doing this once before and picking the in-between option, but considering I'm here again that clearly didn't work for me. I stare at the window for a while as I war with myself.

And eventually, I make my choice, I won't, no I won't let myself ignore the second chance at life I've been given. I can't just ignore the world, I can't run from the fact that I've already changed so much. So the only rational thing left to do is accept it and try my best.

So after steeling my nerves, I start writing a letter for Entropy to send to Celestia, it will contain the full Slow Fall spell. I'm still scared about what going all in will do to the future, and I think it will take time to get out of this mindset that I've kept myself in for years now. But that fear of changing things isn't going to work anymore and it will only drag me and others down.

I won't mess with big canon things unless it's needed to prevent what's coming. But everything else is now on the table, anything that I can do to help is what I should do. I check the time and decide to get some sleep after sending Entropy off with the letter.

I have no idea what will happen now, and I think that's ok, I just need to convince myself it is.

JUN 20 Saturday.

I Place my sketchbook into my saddlebags and close the pocket I placed it in. I'm packing for the trip Daisy invited me on, and I'm starting to get excited about it. I place a bag of berries in another pocket and start looking for my magic light, I find it and add it to the growing list of things I'm taking with me.

The thoughts of last night still roll around in my mind, but seeing friends should help me calm down about my new choice. And I'm hoping to not think about all this for a little, I don't want to ignore it, just focus on something else for a while.

Entropy lands on my back and chirps at me, I turn to her as she looks over at the window. "Ya, we should get going." I finish packing and cast an illusion spell on Entropy before we leave my apartment. I walk through the very busy streets and make my way to a crowded train station in the morning.

Daisy told us to meet her here at seven in the morning, I'm still a little early so I just found a place off to the side to sit down and read a little to pass the time. After a while I see Daisy and Maple push their way through the crowd and walk over to me. "Hello you two, excited?" I ask when they sit down to wait with me.

Daisy smiles and nods, "By Celestia yes, I get to meet an old friend and spend time with my new ones at the same time." I can hear the excitement in her voice, I look over and see Maple silently nod in agreement. "Blaz should be here soon, and our train arrives at eight.” Daisy says.

I nod and go back to my book while Daisy and Maple talk to each other, I glance at them and see that both of them brought their own bags or saddlebags to carry their things. Another part of my brain likes the way they look, I ignore that part. A little while later Blaz showed up and sat down next to us, after a little more waiting our train arrived. "That's the one, come on," Daisy says while grabbing the bag she brought with her.

We all get to experience the joy of watching Daisy wait in line to get our tickets checked. None of us say much as we walk through the very busy crowds and board the train, and after we find a compartment we all settle in. "Thanks again for coming, I promise to make it fun for all of us," Daisy says with a smile as we all sit down and start to relax.

I nod. "Thanks for inviting us. And I promise to have fun, even if I need to fake it a little." I Joke as I feel the train start to shift under me. Daisy rolls her eyes at me and Blaz just laughs a little while taking out his own book to read, a thought strikes me and I ask something else. "Oh ya, I forgot to ask earlier, but will you finally tell us where we are going?" Daisy's been teasing me for two weeks now and I'm very curious at this point.

She smiles. "Fine I'll tell, we'll be visiting the pony that held my job before me. She's old now and decided to leave her busy job in the city to me and head somewhere quiet for her retirement. She works at the Golden Oak Library in Ponyville now, that's where we're heading and where we'll be staying for our trip." She says with a smile as she also takes out a book to read.

I just stop as she says that, not fully realizing what I just heard, but after a second it clicks right as the train leaves the station. :WHAT!!!:

Author's Note

Thanks for reading. :]

Also I had some stuff happen and wrote this without much sleep, so sorry if there are more errors then normal.