Source Code

I had hid my wings long before I left the castle today. I know for a fact that the journalists of Canterlot’s Press, and Equestria Daily, Equestria’s biggest news outlet, for a lack of a better description, are always watching me for some stupid reason. So I like to sometimes walk outside with just wings, a horn and wings, or just my horn. Keep the crowd guessing on if I’m a unicorn or not. Today I was going with just my horn, so I could teach my kid how to navigate a city. Button happily trotted beside me, holding a map and leading the way. I was trying to teach my kid how to read maps and use a compass, since we were trying to find Midnight’s house, or estate, basically. Since she was at a party full of snobs, her parents were logically snobs as well.

“Remember to look up from the map every now and then for street signs,” I instructed. “For instance, we’re on Mane Street A,” that was Mane Street on the ‘housing plate’ of Canterlot, the largest plate in the city. “We’re supposed to head down this road until we see Neigh Street B,” which would take us to the ‘second’ housing plate, where all the rich ponies had mansions and stuff.

“Okay Dad,” Button looked up from the map. “So… we turn here?” He pointed at the street signs.

“Yup.” We kept on walking up the path, rich ponies, mares, stallions, foals all watched as Princess Celestia’s consort walked up their sacred paths… with a random colt they’ve never seen before. To be frank, most of them looked at me and turned their noses. Because as far as they’re concerned, some geezer was walking with a colt, some geezer that was married to Princess Celestia. They just thought I was some country fuckwad, which they weren’t wrong. I let go of the spell hiding my wings and walked with a knowing smirk. These asshats may think they’re better than me, but also, they probably are.

But I get to watch Celly raise the sun every morning.

“And…” I pointed to the mailboxes. “Usually, these have the addresses on them,” I motioned. “So four, eight, nine, one New Neigh Avenue?” I asked. Button and I stopped when we reached a mailbox with those numbers. It was in front of a gated, kinda big mansion that hangs over a cliff. I would be concerned, but magic kinda just makes it so you never have to worry about the mansion falling apart unless something actually just blows it up. It… Well, it was certainly a rich pony’s house. It was big, used lots of quartz and marble, and honestly looked like it took more money just to clean it than what my Mum made in a year.

At the gate was a guard, clearly a highered one. “Howdy,” I greeted as we walked up. “I’m Source Code, this is my son. I believe we know one of the residents here, Midnight I believe.”

“Ah,” the guard nodded. “Prince Code, I was told you would be picking up Midnight and taking her to Ponyville for… a playdate,” I shall get Mr. and Mrs. Starbright, if you don’t mind.” The guard teleported behind the gate and disappeared for a good twenty minutes, just walking to the front door. So while we were waiting for the better part of thirty minutes, twenty minutes since he disappeared into the house, me and Button laid in the street. The two of us were wrestling, like dogs would while playing. Button tries to nip me, since he was the smallest of the two of us, and I would try to catch him.

That was how Mr. and Mrs. Starbright found the two of us.

“...Good morning, your Highness,” Mrs. Starbright looked a lot like an older Midnight, with reverse colors. Black mane, light blue coat. Though notably, her mane and tail had small, white sparkly things in it, which I assume was just a part of the mane or something, I don’t know. In a world where having a rainbow mane is apparently completely natural, having a naturally sparkling mane was probably normal too. Mrs. Starbright was wearing a dress, a simple, light blue one that was basically the same shade of blue as her mane.

Mr. Starbright just looked like a rich dad that took his suit off. Instead, he was just wearing a tank top underneath it. He had a jet black coat, though a red mane. He was relatively muscled and fit for a unicorn.

Both of Midnight’s parents were actually unicorns.

“Howdy,” I kept laying on the ground, having caught Button with my hooves and pulled him to my chest. “Sorry about you catching me lying here on the ground, but y’all took a little while to come out and greet us. So me and Button got bored.”

Mr. Starbright chuckled. “We wouldn’t dare get angry at a prince wanting to entertain his son, let alone a prince that seems to care so deeply for his foal.” I raised an eyebrow. “You laid your tail over your colt ever since we walked over. You unknowingly tried to ‘protect’ your son when we walked over, or you’re comforting him. Most stallions don’t lay their tails over their foals, period.” He waved a hoof. “Sorry about that, I’m a body language expert, and got to where I am by being an interrogation officer for the higher courts in Canterlot. Not the royal courts, but the criminal courts.”

“Damn,” I nodded. “Well, I’m Source, I used to be Celly’s student, but then we got married and I grew wings,” I gestured to said wings. “So-”

“Ah,” Mrs. Starbright gave me the second most welcoming smile that didn’t come from Celly or Lulu. It was almost as welcoming as the time when I first met Apple Jack before the Summer Sun festival. “Come inside, it’s the middle of summer and it’s rather hot out here. I cannot imagine it was fun, having to wait on us. Come inside, and we’ll get you some water and we’ll chat while Button and Midnight get reacquainted, before we let you watch her for the day in Ponyville.” She gestured towards the gate.

“Mmm, it’s not that bad, but I grew up on a potato farm. Nothing’s quite bad when you used to help farm potatoes.” I shrugged. “But laying on a couch does sound more comforting than laying on solid pavement. So…” I got up, Button was promptly tucked under a wing and held in place by the limb. “I’ll take you up on your offer.” Midnight’s parents’ first impressions? Kinda cool, not gonna lie.

So after a short chat with the Starbrights, they just wanted to know when their daughter would be back and if I would take good care of her while she’s under my care, we were heading back up to the castle. I redid my wings and horn; they were gone. As we walked, Button and Midnight followed along, but a little behind me. As in they trailed just a little so the two of them could chat, and they thought I couldn’t hear them. Unfortunately, I too have pony ears, which are actually pretty good in terms of ears.

Button was just telling Midnight about the Crusaders. A lot of it was focused on Sweetie Belle, since she was totally not Button’s favorite crusader.

As we walked, I lit my horn and caught an arrow that almost hit me in the eye. “Are you fucking serious?” A griffin. Another one of these fucking griffins. “What the fuck?”

“Uh…” The griffin blinked. “Shoot.”

“You know, I could tell you were trying to hit the kids behind me,” I set a Bubble over them; nothing was getting to them no matter how hard anyone tried. “Do you fuckers have a problem with me? Like seriously, I almost half expected y’all to shoot an arrow into me arse at my wedding, which fortunately for you birdcats, you didn’t. You’re also lucky that I can catch you fuckwads trying to shoot my foal, or his little filly friend. Because if you hit either of them, and grievously injured them, I would make you past tense.”

“Listen, pony,” the griffin got started. “I still don’t know why the the King thought it would be wise to send me and four other griffins after you, since every attempt made to capture y’all-”

“Tell me about the king,” I grabbed his stupid claws and embedded them in the ground with some mild force… after Soundproofing the Bubble and also making it opaque so neither of my kids could see what was happening. “And call your stupid friends out before I cancel your free trial of life.” Seriously, these dumbfucks were awful at assassinations. Number one rule of trying to kill somebody: Don’t reveal yourself when the attempt at murder fails. “Because I’ll be honest, my man, this shit’s getting more annoying than actually a threat. I just wanted to pull a chariot for my foal and his little filly friend, so they could go play with some other kids in Ponyville.

“So tell me what the king wants,” by the way, the griffin was screaming his head off; his claws were only embedded in the ground and being crushed by rocks. “Right the fuck now-”

“Watch it!” Oh. Fruit just jumped out of nowhere and punched a griffin in the chest that had just tried jumping me. He hit the fucker so hard that there was an audible crunch. “Jeez. You’re lucky that I need you to get into the Mage Tower, and that you’re my bro, and that I was nearby and buying chocolate for Chryssy. He woulda knocked you the fuck out, alicorn or not.”

“Mmm, Celly hits me harder with a whip than these guys ever could hit me with a knife.”

Fruit snorted. “Good one, man,” he chuckled. “By the way, I have changelings watching me at all times… The other griffins that were sent after you were… peacefully apprehended. I take it back, it wasn’t peaceful, but things became permanently peaceful after the griffins were dealt with. Why’re these guys going for you again?”

“Dude, I don’t know. Celly is about ready to start a war, as in she drops the sun on the capital of Griffonia, and calls it a day. She heard about how one of those fuckers almost hit Button with an arrow once.”

We both turned to the griffin. “So…” Fruit yanked the fucker out the ground with his hooves. God damn. I wish I was that fit. “I’ll take him to Chrysalis; she’s really good at torturing ponies, and we’ll get any info out of this guy that we can." We both blinked. The griffin was unconscious; his claws were still stuck in the ground and weren’t attached to his forelegs anymore. “Jesus fuck, how the hell did you do that with just magic?”

“Uh…” I shrugged. “Magic-”

“-Is bullshit!” we brohoofed. We both could agree with that statement. “Well, we might-” I hit the griffin with a healing spell. The bleeding stopped, but the claws didn’t grow back. “Damn, nevermind, I guess he won’t bleed out before I go home.” He hummed. “Man, I miss Skitter and Scatter,” he mused as he dragged the griffin on the ground. After he was gone, I let the Bubble up, and watched as six changelings drop out of random alleys also carrying griffins. They were definitely, totally, super not alive.

Or poisoned and will not be alive.

“What happened, Dad?”

“Remember those dumb birdcats?” I asked.

“Oh… Do they want to start a war? Mom is literally going to blow their capital up when she hears about this.”

“Oh I know.”

“What?” Midnight asked.

“Dad keeps getting attacked by griffins, and Mom is getting sick of it. So this might be the last straw for griffins.” Griffins may go extinct. Nah, we’re gonna call King Blueblood over and ask him politely as to why he wants me dead so much.

So was I allowed to take a chariot? Probably not. Was anyone stopping me? No. I had a chariot, specifically made to be pulled by one pony, latched onto me. As it turned out, pulling one of these things as an alicorn was way easier than it should’ve been if I were a pegasus, or literally impossible if I didn’t have wings. Since I had the strength, provided to me via magical earth pony bullshit that came with my wings, I pulled the chariot out of the chariot bay pretty easily and onto the runway.

The whole way, guards were guiding me through how to actually take off, and two more were actually coming with us just in case I end up almost killing myself. Button and Midnight watched from their chariot, hooves on the rail, watching me pull the chariot into the air. As we flew through the air, our guards stayed on both sides of the chariot, my wings were starting to hurt halfway through the flight, but a healing spell and a rejuvenation spell fixed that real quickly. Ponyville came closer and closer into view.

“So where do I land this thing?!” I shouted to the guard next to me. I didn’t wanna shout, but being Irish made you loud by default, and I’m pretty sure this was the only way for me to exist and do things. And also shouting was the only way to communicate over the winds.

“Just make sure you don’t land on a building; it’s easier to land in a field, sir. Just make sure you do the same motions to land, just at a lesser angle!” My guard answered.

The wind flowing through my mane made the blood course through my veins. Flying. I forgot how fun flying actually was; I get to fly around and do things. I think I’ve said this before, but DragonFire and Skywalking are useful and more versatile than flying, since I suck at flying. However, there really is just a weird sensation you can’t get with those compared to using a good ol’ pair of wings. I’m going to bring up the idea of flying in the morning, everyday, with Celly. She said we should once, and we forgot because of all the stupid, fucking bullshit that comes with being a man, living in a pony’s world.

So I landed the chariot, I somehow got unhooked from it and the thing rear ended me, but I did it. Lucky me, I didn’t get hurt, woohoo. My ass is on fire though, and probably broken.

“Dad, are you alright?” Button asked. Yeah the chariot didn’t hit me that hard, it just threw me forward.

“Mr. Code?” Midnight asked, she walked up to me, and started nuzzling me. “Let me know where it hurts,” she whispered as she started looking me over.

“I’m fine,” I chuckled. “No I’m not.” I got up and stretched. “However, I can still walk, so I can still do things. Are you two hurt?” I asked. Button was now checking out my butt, to see if there were two butt bones poking out of it.

“No, we’re fine,” Midnight started looking sorry. “Sorry about getting you hurt-”

“Hey, it was my fault that I chose to treat you both to a chariot ride pulled by yours truly. You ain’t done nothin’ wrong by enjoying it.”

My guards were panicking and making sure everything with the harness was alright…

“Sir, why wasn’t your harness tightened all the way?” One of them asked. They blinked. “Nevermind, our smallest size didn’t fit you…”

“Damn, curse me for being a midget, I suppose?”

“No sir, we’ll just go get this harness resized specifically for you sir, so that this doesn’t happen again. Would you like us to get you an ice pack, your highness? You took a pretty mean looking hit.”

“I’ve got my ass handed to me by Fluer Dis Lis; I’ll live a chariot breaking me arse, aye?”

“Okay sir, we’re still getting you an ice pack. The Princess is going to freak out when she hears our reports of you getting involved with a chariot accident.” Oh. Oh dear.

Celly is going to baby me.

I’m okay with that.

I sat at the park, watching the crusaders playing with a frisbee. I was literally loafing, watching with a smile on my face. This was the life. Watching my kid be a kid, no big things involving portals, no big threats. Just time to stop and smell the roses as I go along my way. It’s a careless high that honestly can’t be beaten by anything else. This made me wonder… Do I need my family from Earth to make me feel better? I’ve got everything I could ever want. Wife and kid, good food, friends. I’ve got everything I could ever want, everything I could ever need.

I have family here.

But being able to at least introduce my Mum to Celly sounds appealing.

What if my family doesn’t wanna come to Equestria?

…

“Source!” Apple Bloom ran up to me, the frisbee in her mouth, so ‘Source’ sounded like ‘Sourfths’. She and the rest of the Crusaders, Button and Midnight had followed suit. They all skidded to a stop before me, their tails wagged. “Can you throw the frisbee for us? We wanna see who’s the best at catching it, and you’re the only big pony around with a horn as far as Ah can see!”

“Hmm,” I smiled. I took the Frisbee in my magic. “Want me to throw it as far as I can? Or as high as I can?” I tilted my head.

“As far as you can,” Scootaloo started jumping. “What’s the point in you throwing it if we don’t have to run after the frisbee?”

You know what? Family be damned, if mine doesn’t wanna come to Equestria, being able to visit them would be nice. Because I ain’t leaving this place for the life of me. I threw the frisbee and the foals immediately formed the cutest little stampede I’ve ever seen, as they all ran after it. Midnight, being the city girl she was, tired out pretty quickly, but kept running anyways, her happy, merry little giggles helped her push through how tired she was feeling… Why did a zebra just lay down next to me?

I know this is a zebra, Celly told me about them, and it’s where Equestria gets a solid amount of its physical, non-magical medicine from, the Zebras. Zebrica is where they’re from, I think. Logically, Zebrica was essentially just where Africa was, except it was in the shape of a zebra’s name, hence the name, and thus the inhabitants… I guess. I think that’s how it works, but I don't know.

“Greetings, a new face I see, from where would you be?” She rhymes, a typical thing with Zebras. Celly told me the secret behind why:

Most of the time, it’s to fuck with ponies, and people trying to write dialogue for them.

“I’m from Canterlot. You’re Zecora, aren’t ya?”

“I see that you know my name? But for you I cannot say the same. Please, relay me your title. For your wings and horn speak you are a little atypical.”

“I’m Source Code, nice meetin’ ya. Before you ask, I’m Princess Celestia’s consort. Twilight Sparkle, I think you’ve met her, wrote a letter to Celly about not being racist. You were the main subject of the letter on why being racist is kinda bad… Scratch that, it’s not good at all. Nice meeting you.” The foals ran back, Scootaloo had the frisbee in her mouth. They all gave a quick greeting to Zecora, before I threw the frisbee again and watched them go. “So why are you here? No offense, I’m just wonderin’. It’s not everyday that a random stranger just comes and sits by me.”

“The foals you play with are friends of mine. Watching foals play is a sight that is truly divine. I believe I recall how dear Sweetie Belle told the tale of her tutor. You left quite the mark on her, and I believe you are more than just her mentor?”

“She’s a friend of my son, and the sister of a friend of mine. When I’m in town, I usually end up watching her and the rest of her friends while my son catches up with them.” I watched as every foal present tackled Sweetie Belle for cheating; she just caught the disk in her magic and cheated. Soon, Button, Scootaloo and Midnight were tickling the buck out of that poor filly. Apple Bloom sat by, snickering at her friend’s constant cries for mercy.

“I also came over because of your demeanor. Despite you enjoying the moment, there is something on your mind, making the moment rather sour.”

“Just thinking. I heard you left your family behind, since Celly apparently has tea with a lot of ponies without me, and you’re one of them… Well, not really, but you know what I mean. I shoulda said ‘people.'"

Zecora giggled. “Worry not, I am a mature mare. For what you refer to me as, I have little care. I presume you are missing family as well? Your line of questioning does not make it hard to tell.”

“...Yeah. If you could, would you bring your family here?” I asked.

“Something rather ponderous to dwell upon, my dear friend. If I were able, and my mother and father and siblings agreed, I would welcome them into my den. Princess Celestia told me about thy struggles, you miss family as they walk a path you cannot. You give the topic too much thought. If you find the means, and they agree, bring them into your life again. If they do not, my recommendation to leave them be would be immense.” She nuzzled up to me, odd. I didn’t think Zecora would be one for cuddling. It is a rather chilly day, for the spring, to be out and about, though. “Your shoulder makes for a good pillow. It is rather firm, though soft like a marshmallow.” She shivered. “The coat of a zebra is much thinner than a pony’s, so even on a cool day like this, I desire a cuddle buddy.”

“That rhyme was a stretch and you know it.”

“Shut up.” Zecora let out a deep breath. “The foals say it’s nap time and I am one to agree. I believe right here will provide a pleasant sleep.”

Celly was right. Zebras just rhyme to fuck with people.

Several hours later, I was sitting in a bar. Well, a bar with Apple Jack and Big Mac. It’s been a hot minute since I hung out with the Apples. Apple Bloom was with us, having a cup of apple juice. I was more surprised by the lack of her having any alcohol. Rarity agreed to watch the rest of the foals overnight, after Celly sent me a letter saying she has some things she would like to discuss with me. Things that can only really be discussed in private. The only place of privacy where me and Celly are guaranteed it, as long as we need it, is her bedroom.

“So you went dimension hopping is what Ah’m hearing,” Apple Jack said bluntly. I just told both her and Big Mac what I went through… however long ago. I don’t know, since apparently only a few hours passed here, while it felt a little longer than a few hours for me. You know, I only slept through the night in a pile of alicorns in Equestria Prime, that whole shit show in Composite Equestria definitely took most of the day to go through, and that bit where Equestria was apparently ruled by dictators, that were actually really friendly for a pair of dictators, only took a couple of hours. So while, for everypony else, only a few hours passed, I went through a few days of mental hell. Sitting between the three of us, in our little booth in the corner of the bar, was a bottle of whisky that I bought for us to share as we chatted. AJ and Big Mac also ordered some hayburgers and hay fries. Think of Hayburgers ARound, except greasier; it was fucking bar food. Bar food is good, but also usually greasy as fuck.

“Yeah. Luckily I didn’t traumatize myself any further, but I’ve come to understand just how screwed up my brain is at this point. Not from me existing, mind you, but from just… remember how I’m not exactly of this world?”

“Oh yeah! Button told us about that!” Apple Bloom spoke up. “You miss yer family, your first one, don’t you?” She asked. At my nod she climbed over the table, and laid down in between my ears, right on top of my noggin, like how Button does. “You aren’t messed up, Uncle Code, you’re just homesick! You were homesick while going through all those dimensions! Ah sure would be pretty upset if I couldn’t talk to my family anymore.” She nuzzled me. “And whether you like it or not, yer a part of the Apple Family!”

Apple Jack decided to clarify. “You’re a close friend of the family, Source. It Doesn't matter if you’ve got wings, a horn, or both. To us, you’re still Source, that same unicorn that hung out with us during the Summer Sun Celebration. We Apples consider our friends family, and you’re certainly a friend of ours.”

I smirked. “God damn. That…” I had a hearty laugh. “Man, god fucking damn, Jackie,” I closed my eyes, and levitated Apple Bloom off my head. I held her in front of me and reopened my eyes. God damn, this filly’s sad face is adorable. “Fuckin’ hell, that never really sunk in my head until now… Y’all would happily-”

“Source, you’ve no family of your own, and you try to work on the farm whenever you’re in town, for free. Yer family. Whether it’s written down in some forms or not.” Big Mac patted my back… When did he get beside me? “Heck, you’d be Apple Jack’s husband by now if you weren’t dating the Princess when we all first met you.” I slowly turned to Apple Jack; she was blushing and was almost the same color as her apples that she’s so proud of.

“Look, you’ve gotten rather muscular over your time in Equestria; it’s barely noticeable, Ah can tell that you've got a little more meat on your bones.”

“...I have?”

“Kinda,” Big Mac chuckled. “She just likes you.”

“Huh.” I chuckled. “AJ, I know I’ve said I don’t see myself dating another mare, but… if I never met Celly and ended up stumbling onto your farm instead during the Summer Sun Celebration anyways… I’da happily start datin’ ya. It’s probably for the best that it ended up like this anyways. You’ve got Rainbow Dash. She’s pretty awesome.”

“You are right…” We all raised our cups, Apple Bloom downed her apple juice before pouring herself some whisky.

“Apple Bloom, you’re way too fucking young to have a shot-”

“We’re country folk, Source. By the age a’ ten, Ah could be sippin’ on whisky with my lunch!” Apple Jack laughed. “And you can’t say nuthin’, with how much you drink, you-”

“Okay, I admit, I first had alcohol when I was four. Just no more than that shot, aight Bloom? Too much of that shit can fuck you up, especially since you’re still a cute, growing, little filly.”

“Ah’m careful, Source.” Apple Bloom nuzzled me. “Big Mac won’t let me have more than this one shot anyways!”

“...That’s not a shot.”

I gave her my shot glass. “That is a shot.”

“...It is? It’s so tiny!” Apple Bloom shrugged. “Well, if it’s a shot, I suppose I’ll have to deal with it.”

Jesus christ, these Apples are kinda like Irish Folk. Kinda.

When I got to Celly’s bedroom later in the day, like right when we should be having dinner, the first thing I noted… She had purple boots. The same style of boots as Composite Celestia. They looked good on her. “So I found these in the closet. I don’t know why I have them, but I can only assume I bought them one day and never used them for anything. I wore these the whole day,” Celestia gestured to herself. “And somepony tried to marry me because of them during day court.”

“...I’m gonna have to get a big stick and tell everypony to stop trying to sleep with you; you’re my Celly. Mine.”

Celestia giggled. “You’re being assertive!” She clapped her hooves. She took her boots off. “So, as you understand, we have things to discuss. Particularly in reference to the griffins, who won’t leave you alone for some reason, amongst other things. For instance, I have sent a letter to King Bloodbeak; he shall be here by Friday so that we can discuss why he wants you captured so badly.”

“Can I kick his shit in? One of his goons almost shot Button and his little filly friend while we were heading to Ponyville.”

…

“I am going to give Bloodbeak ten minutes, when he gets here, to explain why they keep going for my son or his friends. Because if he has no good reason, I am going to decapitate him and try running this ‘democracy’ thing you’ve spoken about during dinner when we had first met.”

“...So if it works, you can retire early from being a princess?” I asked.

“Mmm, no. I want to see how Twilight does as a ruler, first, as a little prank. And then tell her the steps necessary to make a democracy once we’re done,” Celestia picked me up with her magic and pulled me over to her embrace. Her wings feel so… good. She smelled lovely. She smelled like my Celly. “You were planning on trying to convince your human family to come to Equestria?” She asked.

“I’m hoping to get them to stay. Earth… as dangerous as Equus can be at times, Earth is significantly more dangerous, Celly. Sure, it’s pretty rare to get mugged, but there are some crazy people out there. Some crazy folks in power. At the drop of a hat, somebody could just order a city get destroyed, and suddenly Dublin’s a crater. In America, it’s not uncommon to hear about a school building, a place where children go to, getting attacked by a random citizen. Earth… Earth is really fucked up. Equestria would be nice; Ma wouldn’t have to work a day in her life if she came here. I could introduce her to Button, to you.”

“And if you cannot convince them to stay?” Celestia asked.

“I hope I can convince them. Ma loved me and my siblings, my two brothers and one sister, more than anything. It broke her heart when she had to take me away from my first passion, singing in a choir, so I could help watch over my siblings, none of whom were even older than seven when Dad died. It’s probably killing her, knowing that I went missing without a trace… But if she doesn’t choose to come with me, if she and the rest of my family don’t want to come to Equestria… I’ll still stay here Celly. It’s a tough choice, but I ain’t abandoning you, but I really hope I can convince them to stay.”

“I can help with that; I can be quite persuasive. I merely brought this up, because I feared that you would leave for your home world again if you could not convince your family to come here.” She nodded. “And there is one more thing I’d like to say, and I want you to not freak out…” Celly hummed. “You surely have noticed that I stopped bugging you for… bedroom activities, even though the mating season isn’t over, correct?” She asked.

“Yeah,” oh boy.

“Well, I stopped by the castle’s medical bay to find out why I don’t have this urge when it’s the season.”

…What is she getting at?

“Source, I’m carrying a foal-”

“WHAT!?” I shouted.

Celestia slowly started grinning, that same shit eating grin.

“Oh you bitch! You fucking, stupid, fucking bitch! You just had to fuck with my brain a little, first, didn’t you?” I asked.

“Yes… Yes I did. I had you going, didn’t I?”

“Yeah.”

“Well, I requested that Rarity watch the foals for a reason. I have also notified Midnight’s parents that she will be arriving at their manor in the morning tomorrow…” Celestia slipped the purple boots back on. “It’s just you and me, alone, big boy.” Her voice was getting husky. “So what would you say to a little cuddling?” She asked. We did end up cuddling. No, not sex. Celly genuinely just wanted to snuggle tonight, with me, alone.

I like getting laid as much as the next guy, but just being hugged for hours at a time while you sleep is simply wondrous.