We sat in the meeting room, all of us. Well, ‘all’ besides Button. Luna, Snowdrop, Tale, Me, and Celly. We have been sitting here for a good minute, waiting for King Bloodbeak to leave his stupid room or whatever, and come explain why griffin mercenaries were trying to kill, kidnap, or kill and kidnap me. Or attacking my kid when he’s present. Celly looked like her mane was going to catch on fire, and I was starting to think that, until I looked at Luna. She was eying a knife that she had pulled out from the knife collection she apparently had. Snowdrop had a crossbow loaded up, and I was just sitting there, wondering how likely it was for Bloodbeak to shit himself upon walking in.

“Guys, we don’t need to kill him,” I pointed out. “Just find out what he wants, if he wants anything.”

“You’re right,” Luna said, putting her knife in its sheaf. “We just have to permanently maim him! Good thinking-”

“Did you listen to anything I said after the ‘don’t murder him’ bit?” I asked.

“No, I’m thinking about how to punish this birdbrain for sending assassins after my surrogate brother.” She responded. “Why shouldn’t we kill him-”

The doors opened, and any weapons that were out, were put away very quickly. A griffin, an old looking one walked in. He had a few scars and was kinda gray. “Ah, Princess Celestia, it has been a while since we’ve last met in the flesh! Congratulations on the wedding-” this guy looks completely clueless about what’s happening. “We were once meeting each other to relieve each other of stress, so I am glad that you, a pony deserving of all the love she can get!” He blinked a few times. “You did get my wedding gift, correct?” He asked…

“Dude, do you know why you’re here?” I asked, looking him over. He looks so innocent.

Bloodbeak, I’m assuming this is Bloodbeak blinked. “Oh yes, some ponies keep hiring griffin mercenaries, paying them a huge sum to say I’m trying to kill your husband?” He tilted his head. “Princess Celestia, I thought you knew me better than that! I wouldn’t try to hurt a dear friend of mine-”

“Because she was your fuck buddy,” Tale said bluntly.

“So we were friends with benefits, but we were still friends. A griffin, in spite of how greedy, or violent, or ‘awful’ we can be, we don’t turn our backs on our friends. Or stab them in the back,” Bloodbeak pulled a bunch of documents out. “I know who’s hiring mercenaries, and as you know, mercenaries aren’t a part of my main army. If I wanted you dead,” he said, nodding to me. “I would’ve sent a whole army. You’re rather famous, if you haven’t noticed. A unicorn, now an alicorn, with below average results when it comes to magical output, outperforming a lot of unicorns during a friendly competition? You’re also married to the most famous pony in the world.

“Your long list of accomplishments are very much known across my kingdom; we love the tale of a good warrior. By the way, a pony named Shooting Star’s been paying for all your assassination attempts.” He grabbed a pair of reading glasses as he looked over a document. “Either kill Source Code or somepony he loves.” We all blinked. I was trying to figure out who Shooting Star was, while all the smart ponies that knew politics and documentation reading, all huddled together and read the documents Bloodbeak was getting all his information about.

“Source,” Celestia said. She had reading glasses. It was kinda cute. “Remember that one pony that you said was ‘going to do horrible things to Twilight’?” She asked. “I believe that is who wants to kill you. A unicorn stallion that is from Fillydelphia, goes to the local unicorn college-”

“Oh. The guy that was going to try and rape Twilight? The guy I got a restraining order placed on because of what he said he was going to do to Twilight?” I asked. “Yeah, if he wants me dead, that’s cool. I’ll ‘accidentally’ hit him with a spell too hard and kill him.” I said. “Because if he pulls this shit when I get my family to move to Canterlot, I am going to kill somepony.” I took a long, deep breath. “Aight, thank you King Bloodbeak, you can go do whatever and stuff. I’m gonna go meet up with Fruit Punch and get this stupid thing over with.”

“Okay, Source Code. I believe Celestia and I,” he said pointedly at Celly. “Have much to discuss; I see that she thought I’d actually hurt her in any way, shape or form, as it appears.” I blinked. “What?”

“Get your horny ass away from my wife before I cut your dick off and shove it up your ass.”

“Pfft, please, like you can service Celestia like a predator could.” My eyes twitched. “What?”

“Bloodbeak, that’s my fucking wife. Go to hell. Now quit trying to fuck her, before I fuck you up.”

“King Bloodbeak,” Celly started. “Please stop trying to get under my tail, because it won’t work out for you. Source is way better in bed than you are. He’s also much cuddlier than you are and also doesn’t tear my flanks up whenever he sleeps with me. I think he will… neuter you if you don’t stop. As much as we are, or were friends, stop trying to provoke my husband.” She started glaring at him. “While I now know that you are innocent of trying to kill Source, I will break your neck and make it look like an accident. Do. Not. Test. Me.”

Bloodbeak didn’t seem to take heed to this warning. “Pfft-”

“Bloodbeak, do you understand how your grandfather died?”

“He… broke his neck after falling down the stairs while visiting you…”

“He did, this was after he tried making moves on Princess Cadance while she was still a filly. I can write you out of history if I so please, and nobody would be none the wiser. Your country solely exists because I prefer being peaceful rather than being violent. Your bloodline has consistently done something that I will not describe at this meeting-”

“Wait,” I said. “Your grandpa talked to my niece, while she was fucking twelve!?” I asked.

“What?” Bloodebeak slowly blinked. “...Okay, I think I am going to go back to my room,” he slowly looked at me. “I’ve not seen something that angry since that bear that-”

I grabbed Luna’s knife from under the table. “Bloodbeak, fuck off already, before I reunite you with your grandpa.” Bloodbeak immediately took off with his tail between his legs. I took a long, deep breath. “Banana peel on the stairs just when he gets to them?” I asked.

“No,” Luna mused. “I just notified Chef Beet that it is ‘accident’ time. He will accidentally receive blackberry and blueberry ice cream…” I raised an eyebrow at that. “Griffins can’t process blackberries without at least a bad case of diarrhea. But just enough blackberries can leave him bedridden for months.” Luna hummed. “He technically hasn’t done anything illegal, so we can’t kill him, but we can make his immediate future a pain in the flank.”

“Hey, stick a shitload of coffee in there so he’ll shit his brains out anyways,” I suggested.

“Good thinking, I shall inform Chef Beet about her custom order. You have fun with your portals and dealing with Fruit Punch while doing so!” Celly stood up. She blinked. “Nevermind, you wanted me to come with you both. Snowdrop, could you be a dear-”

“I’ll make the milkshake for King Bloodbeak myself,” the mare stood up, nuzzled into my side, before walking out into the hallway. Celly and I spread our wings and got ready to go to Chrysalis’s Under Canterlot Hive to retrieve Fruit.

Celly and I landed on the newly constructed plate specifically made for exiting and entering the Hive. It was a new construction, as in it was finished just now. A bunch of changelings wearing hardhats and yellow safety vests. They had hammers, tool boxes, sandwiches with liquified love, a solution that Equestria’s magical experts had come up with. Apparently it tasted a little weird, but it did keep changelings fed. They would rather take a weird flavor over starving to death; changelings were rather practical.

“Hey bud,” a changeling, one with a hard hat a little too big for his head, had waddled up to us. “We’re here to get your Queen’s consort. Can you do that?” I asked.

“Yessir,” he saluted me. That was Beatle, the second cutest drone after Thorax. “I will get His Majesty,” he waddled off into the Hive’s entrance.

“I did not know,” Celly said, now in a pile of changelings. All of them still had their uniforms on. They were currently, and gently, nibbling on her. “That changelings could be this sweet. Though I suppose, after Cadance and Shining Armor adopted two of them, I should not be surprised.” My wife lowered herself to the ground and proceeded to sit like a hen while she absorbed cuddles and snuggles. She closed her eyes as her ears flicked occasionally. A changeling’s wings may buzz every now and then. I stared at the sight up until the doors into the Hive opened up again. Fruit Punch and Chrysalis walked out of the Hive.

Beatle was resting on top of Fruit’s mane, and Fruit himself had a cup of coffee held in his magic. “I see your wife is liking our changelings rather quickly,” he said, like an old Dad. “Don’t look at me like that, Source. I’m damn near forty years old; I just look young because pony bodies don’t start showing age until they’re around sixty.” He chuckled. “How old are you, by the way?” He asked.

“I’m twenty one,” I said as I wandered over to Celly and started nudging her. “C’mon, Celly. We have plot relevant things to do. I love changelings just as much as you, because of Thorax, but we’ve-”

Celly stood up. “Come now, young ones, go nibble on your Queen,” she said with a smirk. “She looks like-”

In a heartbeat, Chrysalis was under an even bigger pile of changelings than Celly was. They all chirped and buzzed happily while the good Queen just sat there, blushing. Even her horn was drooping at the sudden, massive amount of affection from her drones. She slowly laid down, and the flash of a camera made her growl and snarl. Celly was standing there with a camera, smirking. “And that is for your reputation,” she took another one. “That is for my photo album. You look adorable.”

Fruit raised a hoof. “You may have to lend me a copy of those.”

With that the three of us went on our leisurely stroll to the Mage Tower. I offered to carry Fruit, or even offer to give him wings for a short while.

“Man,” Fruit shook his head. “I’ve seen what growing a pair of wings could do to me. In one of the alternate mes I’ve seen, his Chrysalis stopped loving him after a while, and he was left to rule Equestria all by himself. Poor dude’s damn near suicidal.” He tilted his head. “Though given who you are, I’m shocked nothing truly bad’s happened yet. I’ve met many, many other ‘humans turned ponies’. Some cases involve humans going to Equestria and remaining humans. One is about a human-Discord-flesh puppet that started off as a nice, peaceful, new life for him.

“Then he ended up getting raped the moment he got turned into a pony and got overwhelmed by all the… scents in the air during ‘heat’, or mating season.”

“Another involves a yellow, earth pony bumping noses with Celestia, a different one, and marrying her. Some dude rewrote Star Wars. Hell, one even acted as a Roman Soldier and was damn good at it, though he remained human. One dude died, ended up in a kid’s brain or something, and started improving Equestrian life. Met him, nice dude, proper fuckin’ headache, let me tell you. I’ve even seen one where Princess Celsetia and Princess Luna were complete, manipulative assholes, and abused this one guy that got stuck in old Equestria and subsequently teleported into the future. Uh, that Equestria ends up going to war with some dude named the Storm King. Doesn’t end well for them. Heck, Luna in that particular timeline, gave up on her crown…”

I raised an eyebrow at that. “So… you’ve met an alternate me, before?” I asked.

“Oh yeah, I have. Most of them are butt-fucking evil. In some cases, Celestia,” Celly blinked. “Summoned you and lied about how you winded up in Equestria. Some involve somepony killing your kid, the whole nine yards. Lemme tell ya, Source, you’re a very, very rare case across the multiverse. In most of them, you were either not contempt, brought about nuclear destruction to Equestria, or straight pissed at Celestia.”

Celly’s eyes widened. “Other Celestias… They’ve actively brought Source into their worlds, for a compatible mate?” She asked.

“Oh yes, yes.” Fruit chuckled. “Luckily, none of them could figure out how to work with portals to save their lives. If you two meet a pony named Doctor Whooves, a brown stallion who lives in Ponyville… if you see two of him, one who lives inside a blue box, get ready to run. Usually he means well, but he usually only shows up when something catastrophic is happening.” Fruit shrugged. “Source, no matter what, no matter what your Celestia hides from ya, love her to death. Other yous found out what she hid from them and went too far off the deep end and ended up worse for wear.”

“Well,” Celly pulled me into a nice, warm wing hug. “I will have you know, I’ve told Source everything. Future plans involving Tirek, I showed him full documents and studies from when he was found in a crater, created by a magical accident, in Ponyville. There is nothing I’ve hidden from my stallion, though I did eat the last of his ‘potato chips’ that he and Chef Beet specifically made, and then blamed it on Luna.”

My eyes widened. “How dare you, Celly.” I picked her up with my magic, which was fucking hard. I didn’t care if we were in the middle of the street. Fruit started looking concerned. “I was saving those so we could dip them in some salsa and enjoy ourselves while we read something together like we did when we were just teacher and student." Everypony was watching us as their favorite, and especially my favorite, the princess got flipped over in the air with magic. I then slowly lowered her on the ground after tying her hooves up with my magic. I knew guards were watching, but they knew this little fact about me.

I wouldn’t dare hurt Celly, and I wouldn’t dare let anything actually bad happen to her.

But I will tickle the ever living shit out of her. “Mmm, look at this fluffy belly, Celly. It’s nice, it’s a pleasant pillow, and it's so, so precious.” I whispered. I used magic on voice to make it deeper and almost demonic sounding. “And delicious!” I blew raspberries into Celly’s stomach for a good ten minutes.

By the time we were done, I was carrying Celly, shrunken down, on my back. She was a giggly, panting mess and Fruit was grinning like an idiot.

“Man, I can see why you wouldn’t ever turn evil; you love Celestia so much that I got diabetes from watching you two be husband and wife. No Celly that I’ve seen would willingly let that happen in public. So she clearly loves you enough to rid herself of the ‘perfect, sun raising goddess’ act she upholds in so many timelines.”

Celly wheezed. “Source has been getting myself and Lulu on the path to make sure we don’t have that ‘perfect’ image for long.”

“I also plan on putting democracy in place around when Celly plans on retiring,” I pointed out. “She’s been slowly finding ponies to appoint as the equivalent of Britain’s parliament.”

Now Fruit was wide eyed. “Yep, Celestia’s letting that happen, apparently.”

“Now, the sooner Source and I work the details out,” Celly said, stretching to take a nap. We were still quite a ways away from the Mage Tower and we were walking on hoof. “The sooner we can retire and go check on what has become of mine and Luna’s birthplace.“ She fell asleep.

She still snores like a kitten, and several ponies had heart attacks at the sound of her sleeping, and then passed out at the sight of her peacefully sleeping on my back.

We walked into the Mage Tower, got checked in with Exo, and was promptly led up to the portal room. Fruit started looking around before laughing. “Oh shit, no wonder y’all suck at making portals!” He clapped his hooves. “The Crystal Mirror’s here too?” He mused as he noticed the big, fancy mirror in the back. Celly already told me about the mirror, but I didn’t know that that was the mirror, though. We just watched as Fruit went around, looking at all the machines being used. “All of this,” Fruit gestured. “And y’all are using a spell that opens up randomized portals!” He started chuckling. His horn lit up and opened a portal. “Ta-da! One portal to my home world!” He chuckled. His horn lit up again and it turned right back into Equestria Prime again.

“I believe we should explore the multiverse, now that you two have a competent guide, and the means to tell Discord to fuck off, if need be!” Fruit chuckled. “What do you all say?” He asked.

“Well,” Celly mused. “I didn’t really spend enough time in this other Equestria, since I was more focussed on retrieving my husband. I suppose we can check out one, maybe two other Equestrias before we go to your world, so we may see this modified Crystal Mirror and promptly retrieve Source’s family.”

Exo just stared blankly as Fruit jumped and clapped as the idea of traveling through the multiverse began to fill his mind. “All this work, all this heartache… and this random guy knows more about portals than everypony in this Tower…” She sighed. “Bucking dammit!” She let out a long, deep breath. “Please tell me you will stick around, after your little adventure, to teach us how to do this,” Exo said. “At least with portals that lead into other places in Equus; it would make traveling for creatures without wings or horns, to travel.”

Fruit nodded. “I have been traveling to various worlds in hopes of making permanent links between them. I can teach you a thing or two about portal making,” he nodded. He gestured to me and Celly and then Exo. “You three are coming with me, by the way. Equestria Prime, where there are no human-ponies. I believe this is how Equestria is ‘meant’ to be, with no human influence. Everypony just goes about their lives, as they have been for a thousand years since Luna’s banishment.”

“Okay,” I took a deep breath. In an instance, Celly teleported out, and teleported back in with armor on herself. Her horn lit up and a set of leather armor, which was made for more agile ponies such as pegasi in actual combat, onto me. “I guess we’re ready now?” I asked. Exo put on a necklace with… that’s an Alicorn Amulet. “What the fuck?”

“So each of the Mage Tower’s masters have one of these,” she said. “Only because we can ignore the darker influences of these amulets. It’s best to be prepared.”

Fruit blew a raspberry and chuckled. “We’ll be fine. Equestria Prime is relatively safe. We’ll probably head to Equestria Prime just after Source was there. I could see he was there due to his ambient magic being ‘poisoned’ by Prime Equestrian ambient magic.”

Exo sighed. “You know so much and you were…”

“Trying to find a way to get Celestia's attention so I could get in here.” He clapped his hooves. “Well, come on! Enough dickin’ around!” He got behind Celly, and pushed her in the portal. We all got the message pretty quickly after that and hopped in the Portal with Fruit Punch as our guide.

We plopped right down… in Celly’s courtroom, but it wasn’t Celly’s courtroom. There was another Celestia sitting on her throne, Luna was right by her side. The two of them seemed to be having a conversation before… oh, the sun’s going down. I think that the two of them were about to trade positions for the night. Princess Celestia stared wide eyed at us, while the other Luna was glaring at me. I took a long, deep breath. They definitely still remembered me.

“Mr. Code?” Prime Celestia asked.

“Howdy,” I waved. “Didn’t expect to come back here so soon, but my buddy here, Fruit Punch, wanted to visit y’all for some reason. “So, how is life going, after the whole mirror world incident?” I asked, stepping forward.

“...It’s still a little rough. Twilight and her friends are still in the castle, and Luna’s pushing her sleep schedule to keep me company.” Celestia’s ears flattened. “Had you and your wife not showed up a week ago, I would be more shocked-” she eeped. “Mr. Code, what are you doing?” She asked, looking down at me. My Celly was sitting by Fruit with a small smile on her face. “Your wife is right there and-”

“And you’re not looking too hot, Princess. As much as we are acquaintances, you also look just like my wife, save for your light makeup. No matter what, I don’t like seein’ any Celestia upset. You and Princess Luna were pretty focused on my problems, but I know for a fact that you were going through some shit. I mean, saying goodbye to the love of your life can’t be fun,” I patted her shoulder a few times. I took a few steps back. Luna in question was giving me an approving nod. “So,” I teleported next to my Celly.

“You brought your Celestia,” Prime Luna noted. “Why is that?” She asked.

“We’re planning on meeting his family,” Fruit Punch pointed out. He nodded to both Princesses. “Sup.”

Both Celestias met each other at the center of the room while Luna went to retrieve Twilight and her friends, so that they may speak with me now that I’m in a clearer mind.

Fruit himself had gone off to get snacks.

Both princesses teleported the same cushion to each other, though my Celly was a few milliseconds ahead of Celestia; all that training with WME’s Levitation. They both blinked and giggled. “It appears that we have a favorite cushion that we want all the time,” Prime Celestia noted.

“Right under the throne?” Celly asked.

“Right under the throne.” Prime Celestia sighed. “So,” she gestured to me. “Do you know how he ascended? Male alicorns are entirely unheard of, though I have spoken with your friend, Fruit Punch before. He’s mentioned plenty of them, the most notable being Blank Page, who actually embraced being a pony after he came from a world similar to the one beyond the Crystal Mirror, and is married to my sister, Luna in his world.” Celestia tilted her head. “Your husband mentioned fighting multiple alicorns and winning.”

Celly and I shared looks. “Are you going to be okay with listening?” She asked. “Or would you like me to put you to sleep until I’ve answered this question-”

“And his name is Discord!” That same, stupid, loud John Cena trumpet theme song started playing. Discord appeared out of nowhere. He did a large-

“Discord, any more of your antics,” my Celly pulled out the Element of Magic. “And this will go so up your rear end that it’ll be touching your brain if you have one. Why are you here, and if you so much as fuck with this mission, I will kill you in my timeline. I will make sure your stupid, stupid disharmonic-self stays as a slab of stone for the rest of eternity. You won’t get to play with Fluttershy like you’re hoping you’ll be able to when you are released. Understood?”

“Oh…” Discord whimpered. “You already shoved Loyalty down my throat. You stabbed my lung with that one.” He sighed. “Alright, tell the story of what happened, and I’ll tell you why Source ascended from handily defeating four alicorns." I actually began to retell the tale myself, every little detail, and thanks to me having Celly’s hoof to hold, I got through it. I actually got through telling somepony about the fucked up ways I put down four alicorns without being able to overpower any of them. Celestia and Celly were wide eyed when I was done. I told Celly what happened, but not in detail. She just knew that I killed evil versions of her, Luna, Cadance and Twilight.

“I…” Celestia shuttered. “The way you took out Twilight Sparkle in that timeline…” She took a deep breath. “Even I have to admit, it was ingenious. Using a Mirror directly on her horn?” Celestia shook her head. “Even I hate the idea of that happening to my Twilight; she’s like a daughter to me.”

“Ah yes, I get that you three are all amazed at Source’s creativity when it comes to fighting, but we must look to when he made Evil-Twi blow herself up,” Discord pulled up a diagram. It made no sense. “So, as you can see,” he pointed to a portion. It was kinda small. “This is Source Code’s magic during the fight. As a unicorn, with barely any practical training in any magical system beyond his own, it’s rather small. But, an important component of this is Light Shield. For those who aren’t in the know, Canonlestia and Luna-Canon, Light Shield is a spell Source has developed. It, in his own words, is more of an alarm system than an actual shield. Attack a Light Shield user, and Light Shield does its best to not only alert you that you’re being attacked, but does its best to protect you from the attack.

“Source, however, did an oopsy. You see, Light Shield has two variants, one of which literally only Source can use because he has access to a diagnostic spell, that’s always running, and can detect things a normal diagnostic spell can’t. Because of this, his Light Shield can detect most spells, and will do anything to keep him safe. From teleportation, to alicorn ascension if given enough gas to fuel it. Thus where the rest of this magic comes in,” he gestured to the rest of the chart. “This,” he motioned to a portion of the pie chart that up almost half the chart. “Twilight Sparkle, or Evil War Princess Twilight. When Source used a Mirror on her horn, which resulted in Evil Twi’s defeat, he made an error and also blasted himself with magic. Light Shield tried many things, such as absorbing the magic and teleporting Source away.

“The problem was that it overloaded Light Shield. Which is where my magic comes into play. Basically, Source blew himself up, and died. Or would have if there wasn’t so much magic in the general area in where he should’ve died, he would’ve died. Instead, my chaos magic that I used to amp up Source for his big fight, flared and Light Shield absorbed that, Twilight’s magic, and Source’s natural magic. Resulting in him becoming an alicorn without a domain. He may theorize that he’s the alicorn of magic, but really, he is an alicorn that shouldn’t even exist. By all means, he should be dead.”

Fruit, Twilight and her friends, and Luna had just got back and had heard that whole explanation.

“So,” I started rubbing my temples. “I’m a living, dead corpse because Light Shield got overloaded?” I asked.

“That it did, mi amigo!’ Discord bowed and disappeared.

“An alicorn without a domain…” Twilight whispered. “That…”

“That’s cool,” Fruit patted Prime Twilight on the head. “C’mon Celly and Source, we’re headin’ out. This place doesn’t have nachos and I know which castle has nachos. My timeline’s castle. From there, we’ll get your family, Source.” He gestured towards the portal that had appeared out of nowhere… he had no equipment to activate a portal. In fact, all that happened was he clapped his hooves and lit his horn. Boom, portal. He bowed and stepped aside. “Well? Come on, we should end up in the Mage Tower back home, which should have the modified Crystal Mirror. Are you ready?”

Celly and I looked at each other and nodded. “Well, I believe it is time I’ve met your mother, don’t you agree, Source?” I nodded.

“It is. It’s about time I steal Ma from the job she hates and my siblings too.” I nodded to myself.

“Oh,” Celly paused just as she stepped to the portal. “My otherworldly self, if you need somepony to help relieve you of stress, I am willing to let you borrow Source for a while. Maybe I can join in as well?”

…

Celly is literally going to try and fuck herself, apparently. Before she, or the other her could elaborate on what any of that meant, I pushed Celly through the portal and walked through. Fruit followed suit and began leading us through the multiverse.

Celly and I stared up at the ‘modded’ Crystal Mirror as Fruit started messing with it. It was in ‘Mirror Mode’, which made no sense since it was already a mirror. After some messing around, Fruit tapped the buttons on a control panel in front of the mirror… the mirror was big, and ornamental, and had a lot of weird dew-hickies attached to it. There was a barrel here, a tube there, it looked all complicated and complex. Above it was a little emblem that I believe was the indicator for wherever it was leading to. Currently it was a horse, before it was swapped out with a cartoon depiction of Earth. Fruit stepped aside. “Alright, just stick your hoof here, Source,” he gestured to what looked like a hoof-shaped fingerprint reader. “This should set you to your last location on Earth, Earth and not whatever the fuck Sunset Shimmer sent herself to before I had dragged her out with some horse tranquilizer… Man that was a fuckin’ while ago.”

“...You know Sunset Shimmer?” Celly asked.

Who the buck was Sunset Shimmer?

“Hmm, tale for another time, Source?” I walked up to the hoof-reader and stuck, well, my hoof in it. Dunno what else I’d stick in it. My horn? My nose? A sausage? Celly? My di- okay no, that only goes in Celly. I stuck my hoof in the reader, the cartoon depiction of Earth zoomed in on Europe, and then it zoomed in on Ireland, before it zoomed in further to my home. Or rather, the farm that I grew up on and was living in until I ended up in Equestria. Fruit walked on over to another machine. “Once you’re done on the other side of the mirror, walk through this and it’ll send y’all to your timeline, alright? I’m going to stay in this timeline for a bit and go talk to Chryssy, my wife… and noogie Skitter, Scatter and maybe Pharynx, after we’re done here.

“I’m just sticking around in my room in the Mage Tower to make sure this all goes smoothly.”

Me and Celly looked each other in the eyes. “Celly, wait here, alright?” I asked. “I want to convince my Mum into stepping into whatever the fuck this mirror spits me out of, and it may take a bit of convincing to show her that I am, in fact, alive and became a horse for the last year of my life. At a minimum, I should be back briefly with her. Hopefully, around the time she’s off work.”

“Okay Source, promise me, if you wish to stay on Earth, you return here first and tell me. I would like to at least say goodbye-”

“Celly,” I kissed her on the nose. “Keep talking like that and I’mma spank you for thinking I’d leave you and Button ever. And I will, an excuse to slap those wondrous flanks of yours, is a good enough reason to me.” I chuckled at Celly’s blush. “I’ll be back.” I stepped up to the mirror and stepped right on through. Reality began to tear and bend, colors began to fade into white, and then suddenly… black. I got spat out into my bedroom, completely untouched from how I left it. I landed on my bed. I turned around to see…

I got spat out of my mirror that hung on my bedroom door.

I looked at… the human in the mirror. Not just any ol’ human, me. I stared at it blankly… It’s been so long since I’ve seen myself like this, ever. Instead of the blue alicorn with a yellow mane, stood a young man. Well, sitting on a bed. A young man with a bit of stubble, auburn hair and brown eyes. My eyes were so much smaller than they were when I was a pony. Everything felt… so were. Everything in front of me was much clearer and my peripheral vision felt less wide, but what was directly in front of me, was clear as day.

In the corner of my room sat my computer desk. Walking felt like a breeze as I stood up and went to go study what was once my favorite spot in the house to be. The computer sat there, probably having been dormant since the day that I left. My chair was neatly pushed in, my headset was sitting on my headphone stand like I left it. My keyboard, that I spent way too much money on, sat on my desk, whereas my crappy mouse sat on standby. I turned on the pc and noticed that literally nothing changed. Not even the password. I smiled at that. It was truly like I never left.

“Dave, are you digging through Kodiak’s room again?” That was my Mum. My family never left for America like we were planning to before my disappearance. I looked down to note that I was dressed in what I disappeared in. A pair of basketball shorts and a plain, white tank top. I sighed, at least I was clothed. I went and sat back on the bed, and waited for the door to open. While I did that though, I took the time to bask in how I looked as a human once more until Ma came in and freaked out. My ears are so small. My nose was less wiggling, and I didn’t have the compulsion to boop myself on snoot, since I have no snoot to boop.

The door creaked on open as Ma, not looking a day older than I, slowly opened the door. Her eyes widened in disbelief when she saw me. “Kodiak? Is… i-is that really you?” She whispered as she stepped closer. I immediately jumped up from my bed and hugged her. We both remained silent as I cried into her shoulder, which was a little hard given that I stood a good head over her. Ma has either been working out, or those motherly instincts kicked in. She was hugging me like I’d disappear again.

Then she pushed me and started shouting. “WHERE WERE YOU!? YOU’VE BEEN GONE FOR MONTHS!” I knew she wasn’t mad, just worried about me, so I let myself take it. “I THOUGHT YOU WERE DEAD! WE ALL DID!” Before I knew it, she grabbed and started hugging me again. “And please, please tell me you won’t disappear again.” She slowly pulled away from me and stared up at me, caressing my cheek as she took in the sight of my face as I did the same.

Mum’s always been of the slender type, and she hasn’t changed much in that department. She also has aged gracefully, she’s damn near fifty, but you could mistaken her for a woman in her early twenties. Same colored hair and eyes as me, and the rest of my siblings. I could tell she just got off work, since she had her hair tied back like a business lady.

“Ma, you wouldn’t believe me unless I showed you.” I whispered. “But… that is not really appropriate right now. Where’s Katie? Daniel and Dave? Are they on summer break, or home?”

“...It is summer break, and I know that they’re home. Why do you think I wouldn’t believe you if you told me where you went?”

“Because, Ma, I went to a land full of magical, talking ponies. I became a magical, talking pony. I then married a magical, talking pony who happens to be the leader of all magical talking ponies. Ponies control the weather, my wife moves the Sun, her sister or my in-law controls the moon.” I answered. The look on her face was a funny one. “Mum, I’m being serious, and I was right. You don’t believe me.” I patted her on the shoulder. “Want me to show you?” I gestured to the mirror. “At the very least, I want to show you my wife, before I ask anything of you or the rest of my family.”

“I’ll humor you, Kodi. Not because I don’t believe you, but because if you went out drinking with your lads, we woulda found ye the next day. Married to a horse, hmm? Should I expect my grandkid to be a grandfoal?” She teased. She one hundred percent doesn’t believe a word I just said. She’s using the same tone she used to use with me whenever I saw a ‘monster under the bed’. I sighed, shook my head and closed the door.

“We’re gonna step through my mirror, alright. I want you to not freak out when you see my wife, alright?” I asked.

“Okay, Kodi, let’s go see this magical-” I pushed my Mom into the mirror and she got swallowed up by its magical-ness.

I followed suit and was greeted with the same transitioning-thingy. I wouldn’t have pushed her in, but if I didn’t, she wouldn’t believe me and then we’d have dinner with my siblings while we caught up. While that’s nice, I’m hoping we can all have dinner at home, in the castle, with Lulu, Button, everypony. I want my whole family to be in one place. First, however, I’m going to need Celly to help me convince my Mom to pack everything up and move to a magical world full of horses where she wouldn’t have to work a day in her life if she decided that she doesn’t want to work anymore.

I landed on my hooves, as a blue, unicorn mare was staring at her hooves. On her flanks were two hands shaking. Her mane was bright yellow, despite her age, there were no gray hairs; that only really develops when a pony turns sixty; ponies can easily push get to a hundred years with magic and not eating reshaped sewege. She stared at them, before slowly turning to me. Same eyes. “Kodi, why am I a horse?” She asked.

“Welcome, to Equestria Mom, well, not my Equestria, but an Equestria. This is my wife, Celly.” I gestured to my wife. Celly gave the cutest, most polite little wave I've seen from her. If Ma wasn't right there, I'd scold Celly for giving me diabetes with her adorable antitcs. “I at least wanted you two to meet.”

“Hello, Mrs. Code? Or rather, Mrs. Gaime. I am Princess Celestia, your son’s wife. You’ve raised a wonderful gentlecolt if I must add. Though it is a pleasure to meet you, and I would like to get to know you better, I believe we have much to discuss. Especially when it comes to your son and his future,” Fruit shook his head, a small victorious grin etched the corners of his mouth. He went to go get snacks or something while Ma began to process that my story wasn't bullshit.

We’re going to be here for a while.

“Kodi, what the actual, flying, fuck? HOW IS THIS REAL!?” Mum started breathing heavily while clutching the sides of her head- “I DON’T HAVE FINGERS! HOW AM I CLENCHING MY HEAD? WHY AM I FEELING IT LIKE I'VE GOT FINGERS ANWAYS!?” She yelled. “WHAT THE FUCK-” she went on about talking horses, how she has a horn, the usual stuff that happens when you suddenly become a pony.

Yeah, we’re definitely gonna be here for a while. Since Mum was freaking out, she didn’t notice me sneaking in under her, and laying her on my side while she worked out her shock, so that the real talk can begin. She hasn’t run face first into a wall like I did, so she’s already doing better than I am. In fact… I wrapped my forelegs around her neck and she began to calm down.

Good, no running into walls, mum. It’s bad for your health.

Author's Note

I would make the chapter longer, but i feel like a chat between Source's Mom and Celestia, along with the outcome of said chat, deserves its own chapter. thank you for reading, tell me if this chapter in particular was ass or not, and I'll see y'all in the next chapter.